


Kismet

by charis_chan, ReinakoNanoFate



Series: Kismet [3]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AU, F/F, Gen, Kid!Kara, Mama!Alex, Mom!Maggie, Multi, and now they've moved to National City, auntie!Kate, auntie!Renee, clark's the hugest ass to ass, they live in Gotham City, timeline all messed up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2018-09-20 21:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 295,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9516962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charis_chan/pseuds/charis_chan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReinakoNanoFate/pseuds/ReinakoNanoFate
Summary: It takes you too long to actually say yes.You’ve seen her around campus ever since you transferred to Gotham University. After the accident you needed to be far from home and they had offered you full scholarship and financial help – sometimes your research and reputation comes in handy – and you couldn’t say no, not after what happened, not after it. Every way you’ve looked she’s there, in all her dimpled glory. You don’t share any classes, but the school is notorious for its exclusivity and specialties and its housing is familial enough you see her almost daily.She’s everywhere.And she sees you too.Or,The one when they meet at a café and they go on a date, but things don't go as planned.A series of connected moments centred in the life of our lovely ladies and how they grow as a family.Sanvers with lots, and lots, of focus on Kara.[Edit: This one has grown to be an epic tale of how the Danvers-Sawyer family comes to be. Their struggles, their dreams, their happiness. Planned to cover several years of their lives.]





	1. Kismet

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing in second person. Be kind!!! Also, first time writing for the Supergirl Fandom.
> 
>  _~This kind of dialogue~_ means Kriptonian... just so you know.
> 
> Beta love to @reinakonanofate for putting up with my silliness!!

It takes you too long to actually say yes.

You’ve seen her around campus ever since you transferred to Gotham University. After the accident you needed to be far from home and they had offered you full scholarship and financial help – sometimes your research and reputation comes in handy – and you couldn’t say no, not after what happened, not after _it_. Every way you’ve looked she’s there, in all her dimpled glory. You don’t share any classes, but the school is notorious for its exclusivity and specialties and its housing is familial enough you see her almost daily.

You see her in the library. You see her at lunch rush in the café you fall in love with almost immediately. You see her in the gym at dawn, working out and killing the treadmill. You see her in the quad, relaxing with friends when you’re running late. You see her in those odd moments you let yourself go grab a beer.

She’s everywhere.

And she sees you too.

You notice her eyes, following you. You’ve been recipient of her full smile more than once when you stumble on you own feet after a brief smirk. You feel her stare, even before you spot her in the crowd. You know she sees you and she wants you. But you can’t. Not now.

But, she’s insistent.

After three months of seeing each other around, she pays for your coffee. She comes to you in the café and simply sit with two cups of black, strong coffee in her hands. She tells you her name ( _Maggie Sawyer, Criminal and Political Science, and you are?_ ) and you two hit it off. She’s funny, she’s strong, she’s tiny, she’s intelligent, she’s witty, she’s quick on her feet, she’s sarcastic… she’s beautiful.

A month of shared early coffee talks in, she asks you out ( _Wanna go grab a beer or something on Friday?_ ).

You say no ( _I’m sorry, I can’t_ ).

She smiles ( _Next time, then?_ )

You look down to your watch, _his_ watch, and ignor her question ( _I’m late for class, see ya later_ ).

But she doesn’t give up. Every time she goes to sit with you, she asks. And every time, you say no.

She never questions you, she’s amazing like that, but she keeps insisting, she keeps being so sweet and nice. She keeps seeing you want to say yes, but can’t. She keeps asking.

Until you cave.

Until you listen to that part of you that’s been silent for little more than a year, and say yes.

Until you decide to put yourself first, if only for a little bit.

If only for a few hours.

You say yes and arrange everything so you can enjoy your time with her. She picks you up outside your building and takes you to a cosy little restaurant you’ve never been in before. The light is low enough to make it so like you’re alone in the place with just Maggie, just Maggie and her smile. The food is amazing and you’ve never feel more at ease with anybody else and, for a second, you forget what you left behind.

For a second, you can imagine a bright future. A future where destiny doesn’t cast you a shitty hand and where you can be happy, free of worries, your family at your side and this woman making it even more special, even more real, even more beautiful.

But, then, when hours have passed and you’re starting on your second helping of that amazing chocolate mousse, reality comes knocking, and hard.

XxXxX

A shrill noise startle you, making you jump and for a second forgetting where you are.

“I think is your phone,” Maggie says with a smile in her face, as she eyes the device dance around the table. You know its poor manners to place your phone on the table when you’re eating with someone, but you also want to have it on hand if something happens. And now you panic.

You panic, because, yes, it’s your phone ringing, and not many have your number and if it’s ringing, then something happened. Something _happened._

You pick your phone without even glancing at Maggie and answer, the fear evident in your voice, “Danvers.”

The first thing you hear are the cries, distant but at the same time loud enough to know they’re heart-breaking and desperate. “ _Alex. She woke up and she’s hysterical. She’s asking for you.”_

Your heart sinks, because it’s been months since this last happened. “Nightmare?” you ask without preamble.

“ _I think so, but she wouldn’t tell me anything._ ”

You close your eyes. She never wants to speak after one of her night terrors and you know it’s time to cut short your date. “I’m on my way,” you inform her and disconnect the call before waiting for a response.

You turn to Maggie, but don’t meet her eyes. “I’m sorry, I need to go,” you say as you rise from your chair. You know the disappointment that must be on her face, it wouldn’t be the first time you saw it, but it’s the first time you regret being the one to put it in such a lovely face. “I had fun, but I don’t think we’ll do this again.”

You’re ready for the anger to come next. Like the disappointment, it wouldn’t be the first time someone you’re on a date with gets angry at you for your erratic behaviour. But then, another chair is scrapping the floor and suddenly Maggie is behind you, helping you with your jacket, sure hands helping your trembling ones.

“Let me settle the check and I’ll drive you,” she informs you.

“I can take a taxi, Maggie. You don-”

She cuts your protests with a swift finger to your lips, a small, worrying frown marring her face. “Gimme a moment, Danvers. It’ll be faster than a taxi, I promise. You’ll be with her shortly.”

You nod, dumbly, because in your panic you didn’t noticed that you put the phone was on speaker and now many pitying eyes are on you and Maggie is back before you can actually be embarrassed and you’re out the restaurant in a rush.

“Where to?” Maggie asks the moment she brings the car to life.

You give her the address, not far from your apartment, without thinking. You’re still in shock Maggie (and most of the restaurant) heard your conversation. You’re still in shock that after months her nightmares are back. You’re still in shock this woman, all wit and sarcasm and indifference, have grown so concerned so suddenly. You’re still in shock she have heard the cries and haven’t run, and instead, have chosen help.

You’re still in shock at how amazing this woman really is.

XxXxX

You arrive quickly at the house. The lights on the first floor are on and the door opens as soon as you’re out the car.

“Alex,” your best friend greets you with a relieved sigh. The cries inside the house are still going strong. “I’m so sorry you had to interrupt your date,” she adds as she looks pass your shoulder.

You smile a little when you see from the corner of your eye how Maggie is just a step being you. “It’s okay,” you tell her as she lets you both in. “I’m sorry she woke you, Susan.”

Susan shakes her head. “We were watching Lilo & Stich and she fell asleep early. I was just catching up with some reading.”

The tell-tale of running feet are the only thing that warns you before a body slams into you. You catch the girl as she hugs your middle, her sobs almost instantly quieting. “Lexie,” she whimpers.

You bend a little and scoop her into your arms. She’s too old to be carried around, but she’s still small enough and light enough you can manage. “I’m here, baby. I’m here. Nothing happened. I’m here,” you soothe her as you start pacing around, rocking her, just like you did when she was a small kid, just like you started doing again after the accident.

“Lexie…” she whimpers again. “Lexie…”

“Shh, Kara. Everything is okay. You’re okay. I’m okay.”

Kara quietens after that, her small frame starting to hiccup as she tries to lower her racing heart. You hum an old lullaby into her hair, her face hidden in the crook of your neck as you keep pacing, keep rocking her.

“Um, I’m Maggie,” you heard your awkward date murmur to Susan.

You can also hear the smirk on your best friend. “I know,” she informs Maggie. “Alex doesn’t shut up about you.”

Kara and her still going tears are the only thing that stops you from hitting Susan. Kara was fond of your friend and she wouldn’t forgive you if you hurt her in any way… it’ll have to wait until Kara is in school and you and Susan are alone so you can beat her up.

“Really?” Maggie asks, and even with your back turned, you can _see_ the hope in her eyes.

“Really,” Susan says, growing serious suddenly. “She really likes you. And I think Kara will too.”

Everything is quiet then. Kara is asleep in your arms and when you face the other two adults, Maggie have a sombre look to her.

Your heart sinks for the second time that night.

XxXxX

“She’s not mine,” you explain. You feel you own her the truth after this night. Maggie had insisted on driving you both home and Kara was now peacefully sleeping in the backseat and you two were simply sitting there, the car already parked near your building. “I was sixteen when she came live with us. She had just seen her parents die in an explosion. It’s a miracle she survived. Her parents and mine were close and it was a no brainer when they adopted her. She was three.”

Maggie scowls. “That sucks.”

Your lips turn up a little, it’s as close to a smile as you can manage at the moment as you turn to watch your baby sister sleeping. “It really does.” Your face falls a moment later. “I loved her the moment I saw her. She used to have nightmares then, too…” You trail off as you contemplate the most important person in your life.

“So, she’s visiting and remembered bad times?” Maggie asks softly, after a long stretch of time.

You shake your head and you can feel the tears stinging in your eyes. “Last winter… she was in the car with my parents. A truck hit them and sent them over a cliff… It’s the second time she survives a tragedy.”

Maggie gently put a hand over yours and squeezed, barely. “… and your parents?”

A tear runs down your cheek. You don’t bother to brush it off. “Mom died on impact. Dad took a week in the hospital. Kara got a broken arm and bruised ribs, nothing mayor, but it was the second time she saw something so terrible. She’s still putting herself back together.”

“I’m sorry.”

You just nod. There’s nothing you can do put to keep going. There’re no words in the world to make it better.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” There’s no accusation from Maggie, but you can tell she’s trying not to spook you, to make you feel worse than you at the moment.

You shrug. It’s not that you don’t care, rather, you want her to think it’s not a great deal, even when it is, more so after Maggie has shown you how caring she is. “When I was younger Kara used to annoy me by calling me Mama when someone showed any interest in me. Many knew of her being my sister, but others, they believed her. All of those backed off after that.”

Maggie hides a snort behind her unoccupied hand. “So, she’s a little shit,” she states with a smile.

You echo her snort. “Yes, she is.”

“And you thought I’ll back off?” It’s not a question, and you both know it.

You shrug again, there’s no need to deny or confirm it. “I should probably get her into bed. If I’m lucky she’ll sleep in tomorrow.” You turn and face Maggie for the first time since diner. “Thank you so much, Maggie,” you tell her from the bottom of your heart. “Thank you.”

Maggie’s smile is soft when she answers. “Maybe you can make it up to me?” she asks and before you can be suspicious, she continues. “Let me take you both to the park this weekend. I need someone to play ball with me and I know you hate the game. Maybe I can corrupt the littlest Danvers.”

You smile, and for the first time in a really long, long time, you can feel it reaching your eyes.

Maybe that bright future is not so impossible after all.

 


	2. Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You never questioned why there were times you came home and there was nobody to welcome you. You never questioned why, sometimes, you’d be woken in the middle of the night to be dropped off at your gran’s. You never questioned why your toys were more tools than dolls. You never questioned why you were never taken to the park, but you the Science Museum’s room by heart. You never questioned when you summers were spent abroad, learning and never playing.
> 
> And now, you don’t question when your parents call you home, because there has been a family emergency with your cousin and you need to take a gap year, no matter you are already in your second year of pre-med school and finally taking some engineering classes on the side. You don’t question it, because you know your family has secrets no one knows about and you also know that if they said cousin, then it doesn’t actually involve your family… you don’t have a cousin.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where Alex meets Kara for the very first time and she's not impressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!!!
> 
> I decided to continue here and see what happens next.
> 
> If you have prompts, please share. You can find me at @charis-chan in tumblr if you so wish.

There are several things you never questioned.

You never questioned why there were times you came home and there was nobody to welcome you. You never questioned why, sometimes, you’d be woken in the middle of the night to be dropped off at your gran’s. You never questioned why your toys were more tools than dolls. You never questioned why you were never taken to the park, but you the Science Museum’s room by heart. You never questioned when you summers were spent abroad, learning and never playing.

And now, you don’t question when your parents call you home, because there has been a family emergency with your cousin and you need to take a gap year, no matter you are already in your second year of pre-med school and _finally_ taking some engineering classes on the side. You don’t question it, because you know your family has secrets no one knows about and you also know that if they said _cousin_ , then it doesn’t actually involve your family… you don’t have a cousin.

Cousin only means that he is back and that he needs another favour. And this time, it somehow means that you’re required to help, even when you haven’t seen your now labelled cousin in years.

You met him when you were a young child. He was tall, taller than you by at least two heads and his icy blue eyes shone with something you couldn’t really understand… they still do and it makes your heart sink. He spoke a strange language you didn’t understand and he was so sad you made it your mission to make him laugh, to play with him and to be the best little sister you could be.

He stayed with your family for about a year before he was taken back by the people who found him, an oldish couple that was nice and always saved you some cookies when you visited, even when your self-proclaimed brother was able to eat the whole batch by himself and often did so without regret. In that year you learnt his language, and his rituals. You learnt his ways and his culture. You learnt his history and music. And you learnt what your parents really did for a living… still do for a living.

Now, looking back, you also came to understand why all your life has been moulded to make you the perfect, crazy, little scientist.

You were young, still wide eyed and in awe of everything. For that year your brother was your world, you dedicated yourself to him and he was kind to you in return. You helped him cope, you helped him forget, or so he said, and so he paid attention to you just the way you discovered you liked the most: he played with you. Not read to you, not teach you science, not scold you. Play. Easy and simple. He played with you.

And you loved him for it. Even after he went away, you loved him. You still do.

So, if he needs anything, if he’s in trouble, you’ll help him. Even though he’s become so engrossed in his life that he has no time to call anymore. Even when, the last time you visited him, he ridiculed you in front of his friends ( _She’s just a kid I used to babysat)_. Even after he’s become a stupid, big-headed ‘saviour’, who’d rather not been seen with you anymore, even in disguise. Even after his fame had gotten to him and he’s become more a bully than hero.

You at least love the memory of him. You owe it to that awkward preteen that came crashing in your life when you were too short to reach the doorbell.

You at least owe him that.

XxXxX

“Mom? Dad?” you ask as you enter the home you grew in. It hadn’t changed a bit in the year you’ve been away. You doubt your parents have been in it often enough to change anything.

You reach the kitchen after leaving your suitcases in the living room, you’ll put them in your room later. You scan the area, it’s empty but there’s a small note on the fridge. ‘ _Alex, as soon as you’re home, go to the basement.’_

You snort, because of course you parents are in the basement. When they are home they are always in the basement.

And of course they left you a note. That’s the way they communicated better, via note pinned to the fridge.

You open the basement door before suddenly pausing, because, somehow, the heavy wood had blocked the sound that now you can hear coming from downstairs: a baby’s crying.

“Mom? Dad?” you ask again as you rush downstairs. The place is dark, even with the light on and it’s difficult for you to see where the noise is coming from. You can’t see your parents, or Clark, but the crying, you are certain, is from a very small child. “Anybody?”

The crying stops for a moment, long enough for the silence to feel deafening, before resuming, this time quieter, this time, you can almost feel it, more tired.

You stop then, because it’s obvious now that you’re alone with the baby, a baby you have yet to find. You take a deep breath, close your eyes, and try to find the noise, try to pinpoint where the pitiful whimpers are coming from.

Your eyes snap open and you immediately look up, because, yes, your ears didn’t lie to you: the crying is coming from the ceiling, and yes, there’s a baby lying flat against a wooden beam, their long hair hanging lose and their red eyes are looking at you with so much fear that it almost make you sick. Their puffy, blue eyes, that are the same shade of your so called cousin.

And the only thing you can muster is: "Oh, fuck."

XxXxX

It takes you little time to notice the girl can’t understand you. Yes, she’s a girl, you can see that now. You were so shocked at the familiar eyes that you overlooked that little detail.

She can’t understand you, but she’s also calmed down enough for her to float back down… right into your arms.

Having her so close, you notice that she’s no baby, if your biology lessons have any say in this. She’s rather a small sized infant. Given the teeth she showed you when she yawned into your face earlier, you’d say she’s at way past two… given that she’s currently eating her weight in apples, she’s definitely your _cousin’s_ kin.

You cannot believe the asshole was so stupid as to knock a poor girl up. The bastard is so inconsiderate that probably he has known of the girl since the beginning and just now he was forced to take care of her. The stupid man you once thought of a brother is such a dickhead you can see him having more than one little cutie at the moment. The girl is adorable and you cannot believe she has the misfortune of having such a worthless father.

You watch the girl eat, a happy grin to her face. She’s taken to you quickly and you wonder why she was crying in the first place. She’s not scared of you. She seems to like you if her constant looking at your direction is anything to go by. She’s even cooed at you twice now, once when she floated into your arms and once when you took her upstairs to the kitchen and she saw the apples… apples that now you notice are plenty of and you wonder how long the child has been staying with your parents, the quantity of food in the kitchen seems to imply that she’s been around for some time now.

Or maybe your darling _cousin_ has been staying over before the kid arrived…

Either way, you are hungry after six hours in a plane and need to eat something too. You fear for your hand if you reach for an apple, so you simply grab a discarded orange and started peeling it. They are not your favourite, but they are juicy and you’re too lazy and puzzled to try put anything together.

The girl stops her eating when you are halfway your orange. She’s looking at it with curious eyes and you can see her little nose twitching slightly. You smile. If the girl flies like her father, then she surely has more of his powers, sense of smell and appetite included.

You tear a segment of it and, after making sure the seeds are taken out, offer it to the kid. “Orange,” you state plainly.

The girl looks at the fruit, then at your eyes, then back at the fruit. She reached for it and grabs it in her tiny hand. She put it near her nose and sniff deeply, then, maybe finding something she likes, put it in her mouth in a swift motion. The smile she graces you with can rival with the sun’s brightness.

“O’ange,” she says after she swallows and open her tiny palm for more.

You snort, because, of course, the girl likes oranges as she likes apples. You quickly take the seed out every segments before passing them on, making the girl coo at you again. “Orange,” you repeat.

“O’ange.”

“Apple,” you say next, when the girl has finished the only orange in the kitchen, handing her a red delicious.

The girl’s nose wrinkles as she again switches her gaze from the apple to your eyes, contemplating. She shakes her head, “Iahr,” she informs you plainly, taking the offered fruit.

And, for the second time in less than an hour, you can only say: “Oh, fuck.”

XxXxX

~ _My name is Alex,_ ~ you tell the girl once she’s full of fruit and it’s just sitting quietly on the kitchen floor. Thanks to her comment, you know the reason she can’t understand you. She speaks Kryptonian and that only make things more confusing. How is that Clark’s kid knows a death language? As far as you know, the only people that speak it are Clark and you, not even your parents had bothered to learn beyond the basics when you were younger.

The kid looks up at you and beams and something inside you breaks a little. Her eyes shine with happiness and something you can’t quiet decipher. ~ _'lo, ‘lex_ ~ she says _,_ her smile never leaving.

You frown a little, the kid speaks Kryptonian, but she still speaks like a little kid and it’s hard for you to really follow. ~ _What’s your name?_ ~ you ask her next, sure she understands, but weary she’s too young to tell you anything of value.

~ _’M Kara!~_ she announces proudly.

~ _Hello, Kara_ ,~ you say softly. ~ _Are you still hungry?_ ~

The girl, Kara, shakes her head. ~ _Me full.~_

You echo her smile. She’s young, yes, but she’s not so young she can’t have a simple conversation with you. ~ _Do you know where my parents are? The people that live in this house?~_

~ _Leaved!~_

It’s your turn to shake your head. Of course they are not around and they left a defenceless kid alone. They are probably fretting over Clark and his many issues. It’s good he was placed in a house far from yours, you think, because if he had grown besides you your chances of survival would have been low… not only does he eat for four, he more often than not is the sole focus of your parents and you wonder what could have happen if he stuck around. You shrug mentally. It never happened and now it was too late to regret loving the boy you considered your big brother.

You guess there’s nothing you can do. They have to come back at some point.

~ _Doll?_ ~ Kara asks you when it’s obvious you don’t know what else to say.

You grimace, because, well, you can’t even remember if you ever had a doll once. ~ _Sorry, baby,~_ you call her the only Kryptonian pet name you know, trying to soften the blow. ~ _I don’t have any._ ~

Her face falls a little, she looks up to you, her blue eyes glistening with her disappointment. ~ _Stowy?~_

Your grimace deepens and her big eyes start leaking a little. You bend down to scoop her onto your arms again before she can start crying in earnest and start rocking her. ~ _Easy, baby, I’ll tell you some._ ~ You don’t have any children books, but you think you can actually invent something on the go.

You’re a certified genius.

You can spin a tale to entertain a little kid anytime.

XxXxX

Noise from downstairs wakes you up. For a moment, you don’t know where you are and the weight on your chest startles you. But, as you blink the sleep away, you notice the soft, blonde hair that’s stuck to your lips and the small snores that tells you Kara is still asleep even after the crash you heard. The girl is lying on you and you’ve never seen a sight cuter than the small kid sucking her thumb with such a peaceful air to her, trusting you completely and making your heart ache.

“Alex?” Your name is called and you wince when Kara stirs a little, her nose wrinkling and her pale lips moving ever so gently against the skin of her thumb. You’re lying down on your childhood bed and the room its dark. How long have you been sleep?

You transfer Kara gently to the bed and, after making sure there are enough pillows to prevent her rolling off, you make your way downstairs.

“Mom,” you call as soon as you see her in the kitchen, unpacking the several grocery bags your dad looks to be taking into the house.

“Alex,” your mom goes to you and embraces you. “You’re thinner,” she points out and you sigh. Of course the first thing out your mom’s mouth is something like that.

“Where’s Clark?” You decide to go to the point. If you let your parents dictate the conversation you’ll be stuck in their critics for hours.

Your dad chuckles, of course he does. He always does when he thinks you’re being too impatient. “Clark is downstairs, Bug, he’s keeping company the new addition to our family.”

You roll your eyes, because, _of course_ , he was supposed to be watching Kara. “He wasn’t there when I got home,” you inform them. “Kara was alone and crying. He left her alone,” you tattle on him because, why not. It’s not like they are going to register what you just said.

“He’s gone?” your mom asks as your dad goes out again, maybe to fetch more bags. She hums, “maybe he had an emergency.”

“He left Kara alone,” you point out, again.

“So you met her,” your mom goes back to the groceries. “She doesn’t like us and she cries all the time.” You mom sigh. “She’s not a quiet kid, like you were.”

You furrow your brow. The girl is amazingly well behaved. But that’s not important. You need to know what’s happening. “She’s Clark’s?”

Your dad laughs as he enters the kitchen and your mom glares at you. “Of course not, Alexandra!” she yells at you. “How can you possibly think that?!”

You shrug. “She has his eyes,” you tell her calmly. Her yelling at you is not new, but you would be lying if you say you miss it. Now you remember why you chose to stay away during summer and winter break… your mom hasn’t changed.

“No, Bug,” your dad says before you mom can keep yelling. “She’s his cousin, the one he always talks about, the one that was sent to Earth with him, but never arrived.”

The cousin he _always talks about_ … now that’s a lie, because if he ever talked about any cousin, you’d remember. You remember almost everything he ever taught or told you. He never mentioned a cousin. “Right,” you say, because contradicting them, questioning them, never got you anywhere. “She’s staying, then?” you ask, because so far the only thing you’ve learnt is that Clark is not to be trusted with small kids. You’ll learn about her past as the days go by, you know that. That’s how things work in this house. That’s how it’s always been and you know by now that it’ll never change.

“Yes, Alexandra,” your mother says, exasperated, just like when you were a child yourself and asked one too many questions. “You’re an older sister now, you need to take care of her.”

You nod. You know how it’s to be your parent’s daughter and you swear, then and there, to always look out for Kara. She deserves better than you had growing up. She deserves better than a couple of forgetful, workaholic parents. She deserves better than a disinterested cousin. She deserves better than people who overlook that your planet, your family, is gone.

She deserves the stars and you plan on giving her just that.

XxXxX

The second time you are pulled out from sleep in the span of hours is when a little form suddenly crawls up to you, tears in her eyes and a sob on her throat.

You’ve gone to retrieve her as soon as your parents confirmed they already have her papers sorted and you’ve noticed how she was crying in her sleep. You woke her and took her into your arms and then you’d spent the rest of the late evening making up stories in which the heroine was a little blue-eyed, blonde, flying all around and making people smile.

You’ve gone to sleep with her, pressing your bed against the wall and making sure she was tucked in before you let the events of the day catch up with you. You’ve been asleep for maybe an hour before her little voice calls you.

“Lexie,” she whimpered as she botches up your name, crawling near your face. “Lexie.”

You sitting up in an instant, pulling the girl into your lap. “Shh, Kara,” you breathe out her name, ~ _I’m here. Everything is okay. You’re okay.~_ You can’t imagine how scared she is if she, like Clark, saw her planet go. You can’t imagine if she, like Clark, was aware of what she left behind. You can’t phantom if she, like Clark, was stuck for a while in the Phantom Zone… you can’t imagine her suffer that much.

“Lexie,” she whimpers again as tears start running down her cheeks and she hides her face in your chest.

~ _Shh, baby, shh. You’re safe. I’ll always keep you safe.~_

_~P-pwomise?~_ she asks, her words muffled, and your heart breaks at how frightened she sounds.

~ _I promise, Kara. Always.~_

XxXxX

Years later, you look back and see that, while you couldn’t always be there for her physically, you were always with her in the ways that mattered. You see that she grew loved and cared for.

By you.

You devoted your life to her and she flourished to be the small ball of sunshine she was meant to be.

You couldn’t give her the stars, but you came damn close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics means Kryptonian... I don't know Kryptonian and I looked it up and as fascinating as it is, I doubt I'll be able to construct sentences in the language for this story as it should be... so... italics.
> 
> Maggie'll be back next time, I promise.


	3. Gemstone (AKA Park I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _~I don’t wanna go,~_ Kara tells you from her spot on the couch. The TV’s on and her hands are playing with her stuffed dog, Krypto, but she refuses to look at you. 
> 
> _~Kara. You said you’re okay with this._ ~
> 
>  _~I lied,_ ~ she tells you in a tiny voice that tells you it’s not time to be irritated with her. Right now she’s not being difficult, like that one time she had a fake melt down on the store when you refused to get her more ice-cream, or the time she literally dropped on the floor, boneless, and cried and kicked for an hour when you told her that, no, you were not buying her a PlayStation.
> 
> Right now, she’s being honestly upset and that scares you.
> 
> or, the one we see a little more of the Danvers' sisters relationship as Alex calms Kara down before meeting Maggie for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one got out of control, so I had to divide it in two chapters. Next one will be up in a couple of days.

 

 _~Maggie’s almost here, put on your shoes,~_ you tell her as you busy yourself with packing her backpack. She might be almost eleven, but the amount of stuff you need to take with you on outings is more or less the same as when she was a toddler. Food, a change of clothes, food, a book (for you), food, a brand new Frisbee, food… okay, so mostly it’s food, but your baby girl eats more than you and she gets cranky when hungry and you’ve grown used to make sure she’s always fed. It’s prevented more than one epic tantrum.

 _~I don’t wanna go,~_ Kara tells you from her spot on the couch. The TV’s on and her hands are playing with her stuffed dog, Krypto, but she refuses to look at you.

You pause midway peeling an orange and sigh because you’ve already talked to her about this. She’s not too thrilled, but she’s accepted that there’s a new person in your life and that you’re excited for her to meet Maggie. ~ _Kara,_ ~ you answer her back in her language. You both speak Kryptonian in your home, partly because the language helped Kara feel more comfortable in your new apartment and partly because you believe she shouldn’t forget her roots. ~ _You said you’re okay with this.~_

 _~I lied,~_ she tells you in a tiny voice that tells you it’s not time to be irritated with her. Right now she’s not being difficult, like that one time she had a fake melt down on the store when you refused to get her more ice-cream, or the time she literally dropped on the floor, boneless, and cried and kicked for an hour when you told her that, no, you were not buying her a PlayStation.

Right now, she’s being honestly upset and that scares you.

You leave your halfway peeled orange and go to sit next to her, turning the TV off and stilling her nervous hands. ~ _Baby, look at me,~_ you urge her softly. When shy, hesitant eyes look up, you smile encouragingly. ~ _Talk to me, baby.~_

She shakes her head, but climbs onto your lap. ~ _You’ll be mad,_ ~ she hides her face in the crook of your neck and you can feel it when she starts sucking her thumb.

You hate it when she starts sucking her thumb. She only does that when she’s too stressed or too scared. Not even when she’s sad she sucks her thumb. She must be really freaked out. ~ _Oh, baby. Please, tell me what’s wrong.”~_

 _~Dou’d be ma’,~_ she repeats, her words slurred around her thumb.

~ _No, Kara. I promise I won’t be mad,~_ you tell her seriously. You push her away just enough to force her to face you, holding her hand gently and taking her thumb away. You rise her tiny hand to your mouth and kiss her palm. You once helped her break the habit and you’ll help her again. ~ _Just talk to me.~_

She stills, not meeting your eyes, but rather focusing on the blue gemstone that hangs from the chain you always wear and it’s on display thanks to the tank top and open flannel you’re wearing. You’ve never take it off ever since people started commenting on the gemstone that hangs on Kara’s own chain. People started saying such a little kid couldn’t wear such expensive looking jewellery and your parents were getting paranoid and tried to take it away. And, how could you allow them to take away the only thing Kara has left of her mother? So, you started wearing a replica of it and made it your duty to inform every person that ever noticed Kara’s gemstone that it was just your matching sisters’ necklaces. No one ever questioned it again. _~… what if she doesn’t like you anymore, after meeting me?~_ she asks after a minute.

~ _Oh, Kara…~_ you sigh as you cuddle the kid closer to your chest. ~ _Maggie’s not like that,~_ you assure her. ~ _She wants to meet you. She’s pretty excited to meet the ‘little angel’. Her words, not mine.~_ Kara knows you’ve been dating Maggie for a month now. She also knows that your dates always finish before she’s out of school or that they happen when Susan is available to babysit her. She also knows that, when she’s with Susan, you always go pick her up before its bed time. But, she’s also aware that Maggie is never with you when you pick her up. And maybe you were wrong and having Maggie around for those times would’ve been better than asking her to give you and Kara time and wait for a proper introduction. Kara now thinks Maggie doesn’t like her when that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Kara clutches your gemstone as she nuzzle the point where your neck meets the shoulder. ~ _People don’t like you when I’m around,~_ she reminds you in a tiny voice.

You smile. ~ _That’s because you like to tell people I’m your mom… you scare them away.~_

She tenses and you don’t need to see her to know she’s frowning. She burrows deeper into you and mumble something.

~ _Sorry, baby, I didn’t hear you.~_

She turns her head just enough for you to hear her murmur, _~you’re my mom.~_

You sigh, because for as long as you can remember, or rather, for as long as she could muster whole, coherent, sentences, she’s been trying to convince you to be her mom. It’s not like you don’t love her as if she were your own, but rather, you’re too young to be labelled as a mother, you were too young when she first asked. And now that you’re her legal guardian, you’re scared the State would, somehow, find a way to take her away. It’s safer to be her sister. Somehow, legally, it’s easier to keep her if she’s just your baby sister.

A little ping from your phone interrupts anything you could tell her. You reach for it from where you left in on the coffee table and read Maggie’s text:

_‘5 min away. Should I park da car?’_

You text her back, quickly, choosing to ignore how Kara shrugs into herself and goes back to sucking her thumb:

‘ _Pls. brt.’_

 _~Kara,~_ you say as you put the phone away. ~ _Maggie is different. She really wants to meet you, but she’ll also understand if you want to wait. Neither of us will force you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.~_

Kara looks up, her thumb firmly in her mouth. ~ _Dou ‘ike he’,~_ she states.

You nod. ~ _Yes, I like her. Very much.~_

Her nose wrinkles and you’re transported back to when she was a baby. She’s giving you the same look she did when you woke her up, back when you discovered she’s bubbly, but at the same time, too sleepy to function in the mornings. It’s a look between puzzlement and determination and you love her just a little more just for it.

She takes her thumb out her mouth and ask you plainly, “can I wear my dampener?”

And that’s when you know she’s near the point where she will have a real to Rao meltdown. Not only has she asked you in English to make sure you listen, she knows, as certainly as she knows the Sun gives her powers, that you hate the dampener and you only let her use it when she needs to go to the doctor or when she’s too emotional to control herself. You hate it because your mother made it for when she became tired of teaching Kara to use her powers. You hate it because she was forced to use it to go to school, when she lived with your parents. You hate it because it made it more difficult for Kara to control herself after wearing it. You hate it because in a good day, it’ll make Kara tire quickly, but in a bad day, she’ll become very ill.

Yet, above all, you hate it because it’s a reminder of how close you came to lose your little sun; Kara was wearing the damn thing when your parents’ car crashed over the cliff and its effects made it so for Kara to be truly hurt. The only reason she survived was because the paramedic took the bracelet away to treat her broken arm and the Sun had done its magic. But it had been too close. Way too close.

“Kara…”

“Please, Alex,” she says in earnest. “I don’t want to hurt anyone. Please.”

And you close your eyes. And you let out a very big sigh. Because if there’s something that truly frightens Kara is the thought of hurting people, of hurting you. “Fine,” you relent as you open your eyes. “But if you feel ill, you’ll take it off immediately and we’ll be coming straight home.”

She nods back at you and scurries off your lap, no doubt going to your room to retrieve the lead box that contains the bracelet your mother made. It’s made of white gold, just like your chains, and have little blue stones mixed with green ones all around. One of those green ones it’s a little piece of Kryptonite and you hate that your mother took the time to make something so hurtful so beautiful. She wanted it to match Kara’s necklace to avoid a repeat of the town’s comment on her expensive jewellery.

Your phones pings again and you get up from the couch without looking at it. You know its Maggie. You head to the kitchen and grab the backpack, quickly looking in it to make sure you have everything to last an early afternoon in the park. Kara comes out your room, the small box in her hands and passes it to you. You have the standing rule that only you can open the box and only you can put the bracelet on her wrist. She can take it off whenever she wants and she’ll be the one carrying the empty box so she can storage it again when she does. But opening the box, making her weak, it’s something only you allow yourself to do.

You fear she’d want to try to use the dampener most of the day. You fear she might want to hurt herself. You fear something going wrong and your baby suffering from it.

You take the box and open it wearily. The change in your girl is almost immediate, her posture stiffens, just a little. “Kara, are you sure?”

She looks up at you determination clear in her eyes. “Yes.”

And you sigh yet again and put the bracelet around her wrist. One day, you promise yourself, you’ll get rid of that thing. Sadly, today’s not that day.

XxXxX

Maggie’s waiting for you both a block away. Her beaten up sedan is parked near the bakery Kara loves and it should come to no surprise to you that Maggie is leaning against it, a small box of Kara’s favourite doughnuts in one hand and her phone in the other. She’s looking intently at the tiny screen and you smile, because, even when it’s not noticeable, you know she’s nervous about this meeting.

Kara is walking beside you, her tiny hand firmly clasped in one of your own. Another rule you have when it comes to damper time: she can’t let go of your hand. You need to be sure where she is. You need to be sure she’s safe. You need to be sure nothing will harm her.

“Hey, Sawyer,” you greet her and smile when she startles enough to almost drop the box.

“Danvers,” she greets you with a huge smile. She looks at you with her shiny eyes before they drift downwards to your sister. “Hello, Little Danvers.”

Kara presses to your legs, half hiding behind you. Her free hand reaches for her mouth, but, knowing you are looking at her from the corner of your eyes, she instead grabs her gemstone nervously. “Hello,” she says without prompting. If anything, she’s polite even when she’s terrified.

Maggie lets the box of doughnuts on her car’s hood and bends a little to be more to your sister’s height. “Alex says your name is Kara. That’s a beautiful name,” she tells her. “I’m Maggie,” she adds with her beaming smile, cheeks full of dimples and a stretched hand.

Kara looks up at you, questioning and you squeeze her hand in support. You won’t force her to touch Maggie. You know Kara is not always comfortable touching people and you’ll respect that. Maggie knows it too, so she doesn’t let her smile fall and waits. Kara looks at Maggie again and lets go of your hand and reaches for Maggie’s.

“I like Maggie, too,” she tells her as she lets your girlfriend shake her hand and you have to reign in your laugh at how serious your baby sister looks. You know for the last three months or so Kara has been all about a new cartoon which protagonist it’s a fly named Maggie. The backpack you’re carrying have the pink haired fly on it and you wonder when you’ll bring up that fact to your girlfriend. Been compared to a fly it’s not flattering and the look you can imagine on Maggie’s face it’s hilarious.

Seeing your baby girl touching Maggie, though, makes your heart soar.

“Your sister also told me you really like doughnuts,” Maggie says as she lets go of her hand, allowing Kara to grab yours again. “So, I bought you some for our picnic.”

At the word picnic Kara brightens and Maggie smirks at you and you can’t help but feel warmness spread in your chest.

XxXxX

Arriving to the park is no easy feat.

Maggie decided you needed to go to Grant Park, which is maybe half an hour drive away without any traffic. Robinson Park is nearer and that’s where you thought you were headed, but Maggie swears Grant Park’s hot dogs are the best and the grass it’s the best kept in the whole city. So, of course, because it’s the first time she gets to meet Kara officially, she wants the girl to have the best experience when it comes to parks.

What Maggie hadn’t counted on, was Kara’s well rooted fear of cars. Or, rather, her fear of long drives.

You’ve made it so you and Kara can do everything on foot. You live near Dixon Docks and that’s just a quick twenty minute walk away from Gotham University and Kara’s Middle School it’s practically a corner down your building. It may not be the best neighbourhood, on some clear nights you can see Arkham’s lights from your living room windows, but it’s close to school and Kara can have enough freedom to go to school and to the store alone.

So, you don’t own a car. You used to have a bike, but once you transferred to GU, you sold it and somehow, you forgot to tell Maggie that Kara is still weary of most types of vehicles.

Still, your girl puts on a brave face and climbs into the car when Maggie prompts her to. She gets to sit next her box of doughnuts, all stiff and nervous, but with a determined look to her that you see every time she wants to prove you she is fine, she is managing. Once Maggie has closed the door, she turns to you, ever so perceptive.

“Is she going to be alright in the car?” she asks you.

You look through the window and notice how Kara is hugging her backpack to her chest, on hand playing with her gemstone and one thumb caressing her lower lip. “I hope so,” you tell her honestly. You look at your girlfriend and close the distance to give her a quick kiss on the lips. “Thank you for doing this, it means a lot.”

Maggie rolls her eyes and pulls you close by the lapel of you open flannel. She kisses you, slow and gentle. Once she lets you go, she says, “she’s so sweet, Alex. You don’t need to worry. I’ll make sure she has an amazing day.”

You smile and, after another quick kiss, you climb into the passenger seat and let Maggie drive you across the city.

You both make idle chat and let Kara be in her own bubble. You sit so you can keep an eye on Kara and you notice through the drive that Maggie kept looking at the rear-view mirror constantly, making sure Kara is still comfortable. Maggie had put a blanket and a couple of pillows in the backseat you hadn’t noticed right away and Kara spends the drive absent-mindedly playing with a pillow, the blanket over her lap, her eyes closed and her thumb firmly in her mouth.

Neither Maggie nor you try to engaged her in conversation and you feel so grateful when Maggie would look at Kara and then at you with a soft smile and sad eyes.

Once you reach the Park and Maggie turns off the engine you can almost feel the tension melt away from Kara’s body. Your girlfriend is the first out and she goes to the trunk to retrieve whatever she has packed. You, on the other hand, go immediately to Kara.

Opening the door, you look at blue, tired, eyes and reach to tuck an errant blonde lock behind her ear. “Are you okay?” you whisper to her, well aware she’s too stubborn and proud to let Maggie hear you ask.

She nods, but she reaches to you with her free hand.

You do the only thing you know will make things a little better, you take her into your arms and cradle her to you. Her free arm goes to sneak around your neck as she hides her face in your shoulder. She shivers once, twice, before letting her body slump, making you carry her boneless weight.

~ _I’m so proud of you,~_ you murmur against her hair, dropping a kiss there. _~You were so brave. I love you so much.~_

You hear the wet pop her thumb makes when she takes it out, her moist hand going to your gemstone. ~ _If I hadn’t…~_ she trails off.

You understand her, even when she’s unable to voice her fear. ~ _If you hadn’t,~_ you tell her softly, ~ _I’d be so proud of you. Just you sitting on the car was so brave. You’ve been so brave so far. I love you.~_ You kiss her again. _~I love you so much.~_

You can see Maggie has everything ready and you smile when she picks Kara’s backpack without prompting, letting you carry your sister and the box of doughnuts. You can already tell neither Maggie nor you will taste a bite of them.

But you smile anyway, because you can feel Kara relaxing against you and you know Maggie is besides you, warm and constant.

Helpful and solid.

Open and understanding.

And, even when Kara hasn’t really spoken to Maggie, you know your sister. And you know she’s opening up to her. You know she’s open for you to try and be with Maggie. You know Kara sees how amazing Maggie can be. You know Kara will grow to love Maggie.

Just as you are growing to love her. With all your heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts are welcome!!! Please, help me grow this universe.


	4. Ball (AKA Park II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sorry Alex,” Maggie says to you the moment she’s put a blanket on the grass and had lowered her basket and Kara’s bag on it. “I didn’t think she’d be so stressed.”
> 
> You smile softly. Kara’s exhausted, yes, but it’s not Maggie’s fault. One, you forgot to tell Maggie Kara’s afraid of cars and two, you can’t really tell her that your baby sister is wearing a Kryptonite dampener that tires her badly. “Don’t sweat it, Sawyer,” you tell her. “Kara’s strong, I’m sure she just wanted to prove you she’s not a baby.”
> 
> or,
> 
> The one they actually got to the park, Maggie is suspicious and Kara lies.

 

It takes you ten minutes of walking before Maggie decides you’ve arrived to the perfect spot for camping out the day. Kara’s asleep in your arms and you’ve never been more grateful she weights so little… carrying her one armed is no small feat and you’re proud you didn’t drop her.

“I’m sorry Alex,” Maggie says to you the moment she’s put a blanket on the grass and had lowered her basket and Kara’s bag on it. “I didn’t think she’d be so stressed.”

You smile softly. Kara’s exhausted, yes, but it’s not Maggie’s fault. One, you forgot to tell Maggie Kara’s afraid of cars and two, you can’t really tell her that your baby sister is wearing a Kryptonite dampener that tires her badly. “Don’t sweat it, Sawyer,” you tell her. “Kara’s strong, I’m sure she just wanted to prove you she’s not a baby.”

Maggie grimaces as she helps you lower yourself so Kara can keep cuddled in your arms. The little blonde stirs for a moment, before settling against your chest, her one hand never releasing your gemstone and her other firmly tucked between your bodies. “That’s it,” she tells you quietly, sitting close enough to you that your thighs are touching. “She shouldn’t have to prove herself to me. If anything, _I_ should be the one trying to get her like me.”

“You don’t need to.”

“But I want to,” she says, earnest. “She’s amazing, Alex. Everything you’ve told me about her is so, so…” she trails off. “She’s so strong and the way you love her… I’ve known you for months, Alex, and you’re pretty amazing yourself, and for you to love her so completely, even when she’s not your blood… it blows my mind. She needs to be pretty special for you, a special woman, to love her so much even I can feel it.”

Your smile widens and you can feel tears pooling in your eyes. Maggie has proven to be the sweetest girlfriend you’ve ever had. So far, she hasn’t only be mindful of your crazy hours and many responsibilities, but she also has been so aware of Kara since the moment she drove you to Susan’s to pick up you frantic sister. She’s mindful and she always ask you about your sister, truly concerned about her, truly wanting to know her tastes, her hobbies, her life.

No one, not even Vicky Donahue, your longest lasting girlfriend, had taken to Kara so quickly, so heartfelt. Vicky had known about Kara since she arrived at your house, but instead of liking her like you did, like Maggie does, she resented her when you started choosing your sister over your girlfriend.

Maggie, on the other hand, had not only accepted when you had to reschedule around Kara’s needs, but she had insisted constantly on meeting her. She seemed truly moved when you explained to her why Kara needs you now more than ever and your weariness of dating someone when the most important person in your life is a ten years old. She also renewed her efforts in courting you, finally knowing why you kept telling her no and she’s been surprising you ever since with the little things she does.

Like texting you ten minutes after Kara’s out of school, just to know if she had a good day. Or calling you at nine thirty-five, when she knows you’ve just finished reading to your little girl and you can give all your attention to her without having to worry about work, school or Kara. She meets you at the gym at five, your usual workout time, with apples and water, because she knows you’ll run back home around seven to wake Kara up and make sure she’s headed to school before you go to your lab and work like crazy before you too have to attend classes.

She texts you through the day, even when she’s at the Academy and phones are banned, just to know if you remembered eating breakfast, lunch; if you remembered to pick up the laundry, because you once confessed that you and Kara had to wear last day clothes due you forgetting for days to pick it up; if your date is still on, because she heard that night was going to rain and she didn’t want for Kara to face the thunders without you.

She’s perfect and you can’t help but beam at her and tell her. “You, Maggie Sawyer, are the most amazing person I’ve ever met.”

She blushes and rolls her eyes. “Danvers,” she tells you with a high pitch to her voice, embarrassed. “Don’t go soft on me.”

You chuckle and manage to pull her by her shirt, kissing her softly once she’s close enough. “How can I not? When you’re the softie here?”

You both are surprised to hear a small gagging sound coming from the ‘sleeping’ blonde. “You two are gross,” Kara informs you as she nuzzles your neck.

You poke her ribs, making her squeal. “Good morning, sunshine,” you tease her. “Ready to grace us with your brightness?”

Kara pouts as she pushes away from you, scrambling to be far away from your torturing fingers, all the way to the other side of the blanket. “I’m ready to eat,” she tells you sulkily, as she looks at the box of doughnuts. “I’m hungry.”

Maggie laughs at her antics, before she clamps her hand over her mouth, trying to stifle her amusement. And you can’t blame her. Kara had somehow gotten a cowlick look to her and her sleepy eyes and pout make for a really cute picture. That you both can hear her stomach rumble makes it even more aw-inducing. “Sorry,” your girlfriend says. “We can eat whenever you want. I have some potstickers form Yuan’s,” she informs your sister. “I heard someone loves those.”

Kara beams at her, before turning to you with a serious look on her face. “You can go now,” she tells you. “Maggie and I can keep this date going without your help.”

Its Maggie’s turn to beam as your mouth opens in shock. In that moment you realize Kara was never asleep and she heard everything Maggie said about her. In that moment you realize Maggie is going to fit amazingly in your lives. In that moment you realize you couldn’t be happier.

In that moment you realize this is the beginning of your future.

XxXxX

You watch your girlfriend play with your sister as you pretend to read your book and your heart melts.

You’ve never been an outdoor girl, even when you work out often. Your parents may had make you a little lab mouse, but they had always put special emphasis in your health, making you do at least one physical activity and the only one you learnt to love was surfing. It allowed you to be near your experiments back home, let you cool down in those hot days and shut your parents up. Now, due your new life and responsibilities, you just go to the gym to work out enough to be fit and able to take care of Kara.

Maggie, though, you now it’s much like Kara. Both enjoy to be out and about and both were team players. Kara loves to be part of her school’s swim team (it being one of the few things she can do without accidently using her powers) and Maggie is part of the Academy’s softball team. You haven’t gotten the chance to see her play yet but you plan on changing that as soon as the season start.

So, you haven’t really gotten around to play with Kara in a park like she’s doing with Maggie right now.

Maggie is teaching your sister how to throw the Frisbee she asked you to get and Kara’s brow is wrinkled in concentration, making the pair adorable. Maggie is on her knees, making her just a little shorter than Kara, and your sister is keeping track of the disk as Maggie motion with it, showing her the best way to throw it.

“Okay, Sunshine,” Maggie says as she gets up from the grass. “It’s time to make this thing fly.”

Kara fidgets as she plays with her bracelet. “What if I hit you?” she asks.

Maggie puffs her chest, proudly. “I’m the best in my class,” she declares confidently. “If I can beat twenty plus wanna-be police officers, I can take a flying disk.” Kara smiles a little at that and waits for Maggie to jog down a couple of yards down the spacious field. “Okay, kid,” your girlfriend says, “let it go!”

Kara follows the steps Maggie had shown her and let the disk fly. It keeps in the air for a couple of seconds, before it flops to the ground, not even reaching the halfway mark between Kara and Maggie. Kara grimaces and looks at it miserably.

Maggie jogs to fetch the disk in her way to reach Kara. “Don’t worry,” she tells her kindly as she goes to stand beside her. “You did amazing. You just need to apply a little more force behind it. Like this,” she lets the Frisbee go and you watch how the disk reaches a pretty high altitude before landing around four yards away. “See?” she asks. “You did everything right, it just needs a little punch and it’ll be fine.”

Kara then looks at you, scared, as Maggie goes for the disk and you know something is bothering your girl. It’s been an hour or so since you finished having lunch and since then Kara and Maggie had played around with a soccer ball before taking the Frisbee out and Kara had not had trouble keeping up with Maggie, but something about the disk is making Kara anxious and it’s time to interfere.

“Maggie,” you call your girlfriend the moment she’s near enough to hear you. “I think it’s time for some ice-cream. Could you go fetch us some?”

Maggie looks at you, then at Kara and you can see her frown just a little bit. “Sure,” she tells you as she looks at you again. “I’ll be back in ten minutes, tops,” she says as she hands the disk to Kara and jog away to places unknown.

“Kara,” you call your baby sister when Maggie’s far away enough and you’re not surprised when she runs to you and dive into your lap, ditching the Frisbee and knocking your book to the side. ~ _What’s wrong?~_

Kara shakes into your arms as she clutches you weakly. ~ _My arm hurts,~_ she says with a sob to her mouth. ~ _The disk’s too heavy,~_ she tells you and you can feel panic start to rise in your chest.

You take her left hand, her dominant, the one with the dampener on it, and notice how her wrist is red and a little swollen. “Where’s the box?” you ask your sister, whose eyes start to water.

“Backpack,” she tells you, brokenly.

You nod and start undoing the clasp before Kara’s suddenly snatching her arm back and scooting away from you. “No!” she yells at you.

You stare at her, startled. What on Earth was wrong with Kara? You shake your head and reach for your sister, but she moves away.

“No!” she yells at you again. “Don’t!”

“Kara!” you snap at her, your voice sharp and cold. It’s a tone you hate using, because it always makes Kara cry and it makes you feel like your mother. All full of authority and exasperation, with no hint of warmth and kindness. And, just like always, your sister starts sobbing. “Come here,” you tell her firmly.

Kara shakes her head. “No,” she chocks out. “I don’t wanna hurt her.”

And then you feel like the worst person on Earth. Because your little sister is having an amazing time with your girlfriend, but she’s hurting and she wants to keep hurting so she can play with Maggie.

So Maggie can be with her without being hurt by the little Kryptonian and her powers.

And you snapped at her and she doesn’t deserve that.

~ _Kara,~_ you sigh, getting close to her, kneeling besides her. ~ _Nothing matters more than you being okay. You can try and play with Maggie any other time. We can come back. But, right now, you are sick and you need to lay in the sun for a little bit. Understood?~_ you tell her softly, resting a hand on her back. ~ _I’m sorry I yelled, but you need to take it off.~_

Kara sobs as she launches at you, embracing your neck. ~ _I_ _don’t wanna hurt her.~_

You hold her, one hand on the back of her neck and the other around her tiny waist. ~ _You won’t. Right now you’re not playing anything until you soak in the sun a little bit. After that, you can decide if you can try it again, okay?~_

Kara nods, bringing her wrist to you and, finally, letting you undo the clasp. With her still on your lap, you reach in to her backpack and take the box out, quickly placing the bracelet in it. The change in Kara is immediate. Her posture relaxes and breath catches as her tears continue in earnest. ~ _I’m sorry,~_ she tells you.

You shake your head, and, in the back of your mind you wonder if Kara’s mannerisms are a carbon copy of you or if it’s the other way around. You certainly shake and nod as often as she does. ~ _I’m the one who’s sorry, baby, I didn’t notice you were hurting. It’s my job to make sure you are okay, and I failed.~_

 _~I didn’t tell you,~_ she sniffs.

~ _Still, it’s my job, baby girl.~_ You kiss the top of her head. ~ _I_ _’m sorry I yelled.~_

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” she says in English and you’re confused for a second, before you see Maggie walking towards you from the corner of your eye. She’s carrying three cones, one vanilla, one strawberry and a huge chocolate one. Your already aching heart pings with how she remembered Kara’s favourite is chocolate and yours is strawberry.

“Everything okay?” she asks you both as she reaches you. She passes the huge cone to Kara, who, still crying softly accepts it with a shaky smile.

You accept you own cone. “Thanks,” you say as you try and think on how to explain this to Maggie.

Kara take a lick to her cone, before beating you. “I’m sorry,” she says to Maggie, sniffling just a little now. “I hurt my wrist at school and I didn’t tell Alex,” she lies, licking the cone some more, her earnest eyes never leaving Maggie’s. “When I tried tossing the Frisbee it hurt again, but I didn’t want to tell you ‘cause I’m having fun and if Alex knew she’d make us stop and I didn’t want that.”

You lick your cone when Maggie looks at you. You are a certified liar, both your sister and you are, you have to, if you want to keep Kara’s secrets, but lying to Maggie is hard and it makes you feel dirty. It makes you feel even worse that Kara’s lying to her. You wonder when you’ll be telling her and how you’ll do it to avoid hurting her.

The thought of never telling her never crosses your mind.

“I’m sorry,” you repeat your sister’s sentiment with a sad smile. “But I don’t think Frisbee is a good choice right now. Maybe some more soccer, after ice-cream, okay?”

Maggie’s eyes on you are searching and it takes all your will power not to flinch. You know she knows you are lying and you fear she will call you on it. But, whatever she sees makes her eyes soften and she turns to Kara. “You should’ve told us sooner,” she gently reprimands. “But I’m glad you told Alex now so you don’t hurt your wrist more.” She shuffles closer to the girl on your lap and whispers loud enough for you to hear her. “Between you and me, a sore wrist is the worst, no matter how much fun you had hurting it.”

You blush bright red as Kara nods determinately at Maggie, and you’re not sure if she understood the sex joke. “Maggie,” you squeak. “Don’t corrupt my baby girl.”

Kara is then looking at you oddly. “But I had fun hurting my wrist,” she informs you, much to your mortification. “I was dancing and fell on it.”

You groan and hide you beet-red face on your sister’s hair as Maggie starts laughing earnestly.

“What?” Kara asks, her tone betraying her confusion. “What did I say?”

You groan louder as Maggie laughs louder.

“Alex? Maggie? What did I say?”

And, no matter that you can see how in your near future you’ll have a very embarrassing conversation with the ten-years-old, you can’t help but feel grateful for the little family that’s being built in this moment.

You can’t help but feel how Maggie’s brightness will help you both overcome your darkest days.

You can’t help but feel grateful to Rao for giving you your little sister, whom you adore, and Maggie, who you are starting to love with your entire being. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the hedcanono that Kryptonians are light and that help them fly better on Earth, so, my Kara is really light, all legs and arms, but light enough to be carried around without much hussle.
> 
> For reference I used this when it comes to the city's layout:
> 
> http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7r1FP92u7HM/VMUqz6xTmDI/AAAAAAAAP7s/Y0u0r3DHqt0/s1600/tumblr_n38ijiZhaX1tx166zo1_1280.png
> 
> Also, I really love the prompts you've send me. Thank you, keep 'em coming.
> 
> Oh, I just had a long weekend, so I had time to write, I don't know when next chapter is gonna be up, sorry.


	5. Babysitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yes, Alex,” you say for the tenth time in as many minutes, the words making mist leave your mouth in the freezing air. “Don’t worry about it. Kara and I will have a good day and we’ll be fine.”
> 
> “But-” 
> 
> “No,” you interrupt her. “I’m outside her school now, darling, and you’re all the way across city in the Financial District. Kara’s out of school in less than ten minutes and you can’t be here by then, so, you’ll have to manage,” you inform her firmly.
> 
> or,
> 
> The one where Maggie babisits Kara, Kara relies on Maggie and secrets are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for a change of POV!

“Yes, Alex,” you say for the tenth time in as many minutes, the words making mist leave your mouth in the freezing air. “Don’t worry about it. Kara and I will have a good day and we’ll be _fine_.”

“ _But-”_ Alex’s voice comes from the other side of the line. You can hear voices that are calling to her and you can’t blame them. Alex’s supposed to be making sure that one of Gotham U’s most expected conferences of the year goes without a hitch and she was wasting time talking to you.

“No,” you interrupt her. “I’m outside her school now, darling, and you’re all the way across city in the Financial District. Kara’s out of school in less than ten minutes and you can’t be here by then, so, you’ll have to manage,” you inform her firmly.

When you first met Alex Danvers, _almost_ Doctor Alex Danvers, what made your heart soar was her beauty. Her long, auburn hair and her bright hazel eyes made your breath catch that first time you saw her across the quad and, when you couldn’t stop seeing her everywhere, you started noticing the determination that always was held behind her movements.

She called to you, like the sirens called Ulysses and you couldn’t help but engage her when it became obvious she too had seen you.

It took you a month to convince her to go on a date with you, and in that month what once was sexual attraction became adoration.

Alex is smart, funny, witty and so, so dedicated to her life that it blew your mind. Once you knew of Kara, many of Alex’s actions became clear and you understood why she is so fierce, why she always looks like she’s carrying the world on her shoulders.

Kara, like her sister, bears a weight too heavy for her short years, but she too is amazing. You’ve been meeting your Danvers girls (yes, they are _yours_ ) for a handful of months now. Yes, you have date days and nights with Alex, but your dates with Alex _and_ Kara are becoming more frequent recently and you couldn’t be happier about it. Kara, like her sister, has a pull to her that makes you love her like the daughter you never knew you wanted, because, while Alex swears Kara is just her sister, you can see how she is really her daughter and you are starting to feel the same way about the little blonde.

“ _Maggie,”_ Alex whines. “ _Don’t make me feel worse!”_

You chuckle. “Darling, I know it’s the first time I’m alone with Kara, but she likes me and, face it, I’m your last resort.”

“ _No_!” Alex is quick to contradict you. “ _No, babe, you’re not my last resort, never my last resort… it’s just…”_

Your chuckle turns into a little laugh. “Al, I understand. Kara’s used to be with Vasquez, I get it. But, she’s all the way to Coast City and I offered. As I said, she likes me and I’ll make sure she does her homework, eat her dinner, brush her teeth and go to bed not too late. Alex, darling, don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”

And you will. It’s not the first time you spend the night at their apartment (that first night was scary because you’re not used to sleep with a gorgeous woman with a little kid just a door away) and it’s certainly not the first time you’ve picked Kara up. Yes, it’s the first time you’ll be doing it on your own, but you think you’ve done it enough times not to have any trouble.

You hear your girlfriend (it still tickles you that Alex is _your girlfriend_ ) sigh and the voices calling to her get louder. “ _Okay, okay,_ ” she finally concedes. “ _You’re right. You’re always amazing with her and I shouldn’t worry.”_

“But you still worry.”

“ _… yes, yes I do,”_ she confesses. “ _Promise me you’ll call me if anything, **anything**_ , _happens?”_

“Alexandra Danvers, I swear to you I’ll call you the moment something _bad_ happens.”

“ _Thank you. For doing this. For taking care of Kara.”_

You smile, because, how can you not? You care about Alex and you care about Kara. You don’t know why that is, but you’ll do anything for the two women that you consider family. “Alex, it’s my pleasure. Kara’s your baby and I love spending time with her. With both of you.”

You hear how Alex’s breathe hitches and you have to smile sadly at that, because if there’s something you’ll come to know about Alex Danvers, is that she’s not used to many forms of kindness and she always gets emotional when you tell her little true facts. You’ve know her for less than a year now and you’re ready to tell her you love her, but you know she’s not ready, she’s not there yet and you won’t pressure her. You won’t pressure neither of your girls.

“ _Mags, I-”_ a voice far away interrupts her and she sighs. “ _I need to go,”_ she tells you, defeated. “ _Please, text me when you’re both home?”_

“I will,” you tell her. The school bell rings at that moment and you see how the little (and not so little) people start fleeing the prison-like building with glee. It’s Friday and you can see even the pre-teens are grateful of the fact. “Kara’s almost here and you’re needed elsewhere. Take care and don’t traumatize many interns, okay?”

Alex chuckles. “ _I make no such promise. I’ll see you both tonight.”_

 _“_ Bye, darling.”

“ _Bye, babe.”_

The call disconnects at that and you pocket your phone easily in your thick jacket just as a bubbly voice calls to you. “Maggie!”

You turn with a grin to your face and you can see the bubbly ten-years-old running towards you, her way too big parka drowning her small form. You know it’s a good thing your lecture got cancelled and you didn’t have to attend Academy today, because the joyous look Kara has to her tells you you were the best choice for today’s babysitting duty.

Alex’s been telling you for the last week or so that Kara’s been having bad days at school and that her mood has been down at home too. You both, Alex and you, have been busy with finals and projects and Kara has, no doubt, felt the tension too. That, added to whatever is happening at her middle school, has Kara sad and all sulky. But, seeing her now, dodging her classmates to reach you at top speed, gives you joy.

“Hello, sunshine,” you tell her as she embraces your middle. “Have a good day?”

Kara looks up at you, still not releasing you and resting her chin on your lower sternum. “No,” she tells you honestly, her good mood dampening a little. She smiles, though, when she continues. “But I have a whole weekend to forget about it!”

You smile back at her. “You know Alex’s not gonna be home ‘till late, right?”

Kara nods at you, solemnly. “Yes,” she tells you as she releases you and immediately reach for your hand so you can walk home together. “She’s been stressing about the conference for _days_!” she complains in a whiny tone you just heard her sister muster over the phone.

You laugh, because, blood related or not, the Danvers’ mannerisms are the same. They both talk with their hands and they communicate via nods and shakes of the head most of the time. They also have the same whiny tone to their voices when they complained and they tend to forget important things if their attention is drawn elsewhere.

Kara is Alex’s carbon copy and you couldn’t feel more at ease with the littlest Danvers thanks to it.

“Do you know what that means?” you ask Kara as you starts walking towards the girl’s apartment.

The little girl shakes her head. “No,” she tells you, before brightening. “We’re going to the park?” she asks excitedly.

“No, sunshine, sorry,” you tell her honestly. If anything you’ve noticed is that Kara likes running around and that Alex is not so good at playing with her in that regard. So, like the sporty woman you are, you’ve make sure most of your dates with Kara and Alex allows the little girl to have fun in the sun chasing a ball or learning new sports. “One, your sister wants a text as soon as I get you home, and two, it’s too cold for us to go to the park today.”

Kara pouts. “But I’m not cold,” she whines again.

You snort at her wounded face. “Sorry, baby,” you start swinging your clasped hands. “But, that’s a no. What I meant, is, as Alex’s away, we can order pizza _and_ potstickers.”

Kara beams at you, an incredulous look to her. “You mean both? At the same time?!” her voice brakes at the last question, excitement evident to her features.

You know Alex always have apples and assorted fruit at her apartment at all times, and you also know that she cooks as healthy as she can for both her sister and her, but you also know that pizza or potsticker nights are an often occurrence in their household. You also know that Alex has the standing rule of never feeding her baby sister both at the same time, something about the little blonde not knowing her limits and once making herself sick at mixing that much food. So, of course Kara would be amazed she’s going to have both tonight.

“I won’t tell if you don’t,” you tell her gently.

Kara stops walking, just outside her building, and looks at you the same way Alex does when she’s being completely serious and honest. “You secrets are safe with me.”

And you laugh, long and hard, because that’s exactly what Alex would have said.

XxXxX

So, maybe you cheated a little in this babysitting Kara thing.

You chose the living room as your base of operations. The TV is on and Kara is currently curled up to your side as she watches The Buzz on Maggie. Her stomach is a little puffed and you grimace when you remembered the girl eating two whole pies of pizza and at least two dozen potstickers, but you know she’ll be fine.

You know Kara’s special, and not in the romantic sense of the word (even if she is), but rather than, greater-than-human special, but you haven’t brought it up with Alex yet. It’s the little things that she and Alex do that made you aware of it, still make you aware of it.

Like how Kara’s all full and content and actually hovering an inch over the sofa while all her attention is on the pink haired fly.

You’re form a little town in Nebraska so when it came to choose where to study, you knew it had to either be Ivy League or a place where you could learn what actually matters to you. Gotham University, while not Ivy League, has enough prestige and offered the courses you were most interest it: alien and supernatural studies.

Ever since you were a teen and was visiting your best friend at Metropolis and you saw how amazing Superman was up close, you had to study exactly what made aliens different than humans and why the police in Metropolis relied so much in the Man of Steel. It became an obsession to you, even when you best friend and her family were so against your interests.

You dedicated your life from then to study every little article you could manage and when the choice to pick a school came up, GU was your first choice. That the city’s Police Academy was one of the finest just sweetened the deal for you.

Over the lasts years that you’ve spend in the city, you’ve come to know several individuals that could not really be labelled as humans and you’ve got to be friends with some of them. You know not all those that are non-human are bad, but you also know their lives depend on secrecy.

You don’t hold it against Alex for not telling you Kara’s not ‘normal’, you understand, but you are weary of when she’ll tell you. Or rather, _if_ she’ll tell you.

Either way, you’re making the little non-human happy at the moment.

You know Alex didn’t want to buy her any kind of video games, something along the lines that Kara can be obsessed with them and she’s too young to waste her life in front the TV, so you’ve brought your old Xbox and a couple of your milder games. You spent most the early evening racing and shooting each other between pizza slices and potstickers brakes and Kara was good enough not to throw a tantrum when you told her it was time to unwind and just watch some TV.

The landline starts ringing, interrupting your thoughts, and Kara’s up in a second, her speed a little too fast to be considered human. You frown because you’ve been texting Alex on and off all evening and, as far as you’re aware, Alex is now in the middle of the main lecture and she can’t be calling you. And, if she were, she’d call your phone, not the landline.

You are about to ask Kara not to answer when her eyes light with recognition and she picks it up before it can ring a second time. “Clark!” she says exited into the phone.

You can’t hear what the other person, this _Clark_ , is saying, but you can see how it’s mostly a one sided conversation, with Kara saying little ‘oh’s’, ‘okay’s’ and ‘no, I understand,’s’. The phone call lasts maybe two minutes and by the time the girl lowers the handset her mood is dark and heavy.

“Kara,” you call to her as you go stand by her still form in the hallway. “Is everything okay?” you ask her.

She startles, as if she had forgotten you were there. “Yes,” she says, strained. “Everything is _great._ ”

You kneel besides her, making sure she’s looking at your eyes. “Please, Kara, I need to know if I should call Alex.”

The girl shakes her head and you can see how her blue eyes are starting to water a little. “No,” she tells you, softly, brokenly. “I- I can tell her in the morning. It’s- It’s nothing bad, just…” she trails off, avoiding your gaze, looking past where the TV is still on. “It’s just some disappointing news,” she finally settles on, a small tear making her way down her cheek.

You want to hug her, but something tells you that maybe it’s not the time. Right now, the little girl is doing everything in her power to be composed and look like nothing’s happening. “Okay,” you tell her as you got up. You look at the clock that hangs in the wall and notice that her bedtime it’s approaching. “It’s bath time, sunshine. Do you want bubbles?”

Kara looks up at you and she nods. She goes to her room as you head to the bathroom to prepare her bath. As you wait for the tub to fill, you send a quick text to Alex:

‘ _Clark called. She’s upset. Should I worry?’_

Your phone buzzes as you put in the bubbles:

‘ _Bastard. He surely cancelled.’_

You’re confused for a moment, but Alex follows her text with:

_‘Clark’s her cousin. She was spending next weekend w him. He’s pushed it back twice now.’_

Understanding dawns on you. You’ve heard of the cousin that was too young to care for the little girl when her parents died (not that Alex wasn’t at the time), and you haven’t really heard good things about him. He lives in Metropolis and was going to be married soon. Apparently the future wife liked Kara enough to have her visit sporadically, but the cousin, her blood relative, was not too thrilled about it.

Your phone buzzes again, twice in a row:

_‘She’s sad and might close up.’_

_‘Sorry the night didn’t go as planned.’_

You can almost feel the regret behind that last message and it makes you blood boil. Alex, and Kara to some extent, has the tendency to apologize for every little thing that doesn’t go as planned and it saddens and angers you that they had, somehow, learnt to be that way because someone must have made them too guilty too often. You’re about to text her back to let her know that it’s okay and that she shouldn’t apologize when you notice Kara’s in the doorway, clean pyjamas in her arms and ready to bath.

“Will you be fine on your own?” you ask the girl, who has red eyes and not-quite-dry tear tracks on her cheeks.

Kara nods.

“Okay,” you tell her as you turn off the water. “I’ll be back in fifteen minutes, is that enough time?”

Kara nods again and starts to tug her shirt off.

You sigh and leave the bathroom to start cleaning up the living room.

Alex was right. Kara’s closing up.

XxXxX

It doesn’t surprise you that Kara makes a beeline for Alex’s room the moment her teeth are brushed and you had put her silken hair in a loose braid. It doesn’t surprised you that the girl has climbed into the queen size bed and tunnelled under the covers, hugging one of Alex’s many pillows to her chest.

What surprises you, is when Kara’s baby-blue eyes fix on you, pleading. “I don’t wanna be alone,” she tells you in a tiny voice.

You smile at her. “Gimme a moment.” You wait until she’s nodded and you quickly steal one of Alex’s baggy t-shirts and a pair of boxers, running to the bathroom to quickly wash your face and teeth, changing in less than a minute and back to your girlfriend’s room before Kara can feel abandoned.

You go to her and, after turning off the lights and making sure the hallway light is on for when Alex comes home, climb into bed with her. Kara acts quickly and cuddles into your side, hiding her face against chest. “Wanna talk about it?” you ask her as you pull an arm around her slim shoulders and turn to face her.

Kara trembles a little, but moves so she can speak and you can understand her. “Alex hates Clark,” she tells you softly. “She says he’s an ass.” She nuzzles the soft t-shirt you’re wearing with her nose, something you’ve seen her do when Alex is hugging her.

“Is she right?”

“He’s family, but he forgets that.”

“He hurts you,” you state plainly. “That’s why Alex doesn’t like him.”

Kara sniffles. “Yes. He does,” she says as she starts crying softly. “Why doesn’t he like me?” she asks you and your heart breaks for this kid.

“Sometimes, people are too engrossed in their lives and they forget there’re other people to care for.” It’s the only thing you can tell her. “Sometimes they love us, but they take us for granted.”

Kara looks up to you, searching your face from behind her tears and for a moment you feel naked. “Someone forgot they love you too?” she asks, all innocence and empathy.

And it’s your time to shudder, because Kara is hitting too close to home and Kara’s not the best person to be having this kind of conversation. “Yeah, sunshine,” you admit. “I know how that feels.”

And Kara surprises you again when her little arms are thrown around you and she’s hugging you fiercely, almost too fiercely it hurts. “Don’t worry,” she says. “Alex and I love you. Alex’s love is the best and she says mine is amazing.” She sits for a little bit and kisses your cheek, before resuming her hugging. “We got you.”

And you chuckle wetly. Because this ball of honest to God sunshine brightens even the darkest hour. Kara is special yes, and not only in her non-human condition.

“Good,” you say. “’Cause I love you both too.”

XxXxX

You wake up when you feel the bed dip. You’re ready to spring up and fight when you notice there’s a slight weight pressing on your chest. You look down and notice that Kara’s decided to use your whole body as her mattress. The girl is light and her head falls and rises as your chest does, her thumb firmly in her mouth and your hand is resting on her back, making sure she doesn’t fall off and for a moment you forget that something woke you.

That’s it, until that something speaks.

“Can you breathe?” Alex asks you softly form where she’s sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at how you both seem so at ease with each other. Her eyes are tired, but soft. She’s already taken out her contacts and she’s wearing her bookish glasses. She’s also changed and is now in the pants that match the t-shirt you’re wearing and a tank top. She must have turned the heater up, because you can’t feel the chill that was there when you cuddled to Kara.

“Yeah,” you whisper back. “She’s not heavy.”

She nods as she climbs into bed, rearranging the covers you must have kicked of your body. Now that you notice it, it’s pretty hot in the room.

“Turn down the heat?” you ask her before she can get too comfortable.

Alex smiles at you and instead of getting up, she starts fluffing her pillow. “The heater is off,” she says. “You’re hot ‘cause Kara’s a furnace.”

You nod, ‘cause, of course, the little non-human is hotter than average. “Cool,” you say, and your brain is still asleep because the next thing you say is totally moronic and simply idiotic. “What else can she do? Besides floating and heating us up?”

Alex freezes as she looks down to you. There’s panic in her eyes and you feel like shite for blurting that up. You were supposed to wait until Alex is ready for you to know. “How…?” she ask you, still processing.

You shrug, or at least you do as much as Kara’s weight on you allows it. “She was floating earlier,” you confess now that the cat’s out the bag.

Alex nods, as she inches closer to you. She contemplates Kara’s peaceful face for a moment. “She does that when she’s really happy,” she makes her own confession. She looks at you again. “It doesn’t bother you?” she asks, full of trepidation.

“No,” you tell her honestly. “I knew something was different the moment I met her, but I also knew you were hiding it for her protection. I understand.”

“I’m sorry, I-” Alex is going to apologize when Kara starts stirring.

Her blue eyes open a little and gaze at Alex. “’ama,” she says around her thumb as she reaches with her free hand for your girlfriend. “’ama.”

Alex smiles sadly as she transfers the sleepy kid to her arms. She lays the girl in between your bodies, letting her nuzzle her breast as she whispers to her something in a language that’s musical and soft, crisp and warm, but that you can’t understand.

Kara buries onto her sister but her free hand goes behind her, reaching for you. You oblige and turn so you can face your two girls, letting Kara grab part of your t-shirt as you lay a hand on Alex’s hip, sandwiching Kara in between the two of you. The little girl sighs deeply, before wiggling so her back is pressed to your stomach and her face is still on Alex’s chest. She sighs again before settling, leaving Alex and you almost as close as you’d lay if Kara wasn’t in the bed with you.

“Alex,” you whisper to her when it’s obvious Kara’s already knocked out. “I understand. You don’t need to apologize.”

“I was going to tell you,” she murmurs as she looks down to Kara. “Next weekend. I was planning to tell you over dinner. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

And you feel a weight you didn’t know you were carrying lift. Because Alex has been planning on telling you. Because Alex has never considered keeping on with the lie. Alex trust you with Kara’s secret and that’s something you know you need to cherish.

“Don’t be,” you tell her, your hand moving from her hip to her cheek, caressing it gently. “I understand, darling. I do.”

And Alex closes her eyes and exhale what seems a repressed sob. “Oh, Rao,” she whispers. “I love you so much.”

And you reach gently over Kara to press a kiss to Alex’s lips. She responds in kind and lets you feel how much she means her words.

And you settle back to you spot, spooning Kara. “Good,” you echo your words from before. “’Cause I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't keep this one any longer. I was planning on posting it on Wednesday, but... you all needed to read this!!!!


	6. "Lost"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re going to kill her. 
> 
> Slowly.
> 
> And not in the good way.
> 
> You’re going to tie her up, kill her and dispose of the body in one of the many ways you’ve learnt over the years.
> 
> Being a certified genius has its advantages.
> 
> “I’m so sorry,” she tells you for the fifth time as you both walk down the corridor, searching.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where Kara get lost, Maggie gains a new title and Alex's got a headache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little fluffier than normal...
> 
> Also, a little shorter...

 You’re going to kill her.

Slowly.

And not in the good way.

You’re going to tie her up, kill her and dispose of the body in one of the many ways you’ve learnt over the years.

Being a certified genius has its advantages.

“I’m so sorry,” she tells you for the fifth time as you both walk down the corridor, searching.

You sigh, because yes, you want to kill someone, but that someone it’s not your girlfriend, who’s looking at you with a little fear behind her eyes.

Oh, no. Who you’re killing is your little sister.

Going to the mall is always a hustle. Kara can either be overwhelmed by the lights, people and music, or she can be over excited by the lights, people and music. It’s always a coin toss with her and you had warned Maggie of that the moment she asked you both to accompany her to get some baby shower gift for one of her instructors at the Academy.

You told Maggie that, and you were about to suggest that you went with her and leave Kara with Susan when the little alien (having heard with her super hearing) had practically materialised to your side and begged Maggie to take her with you.

Ever since Maggie is aware that Kara’s an alien and that Superman is her cousin (a discussion that broke Maggie’s heart), Kara has been using her powers with more abandon in front of Maggie and your girlfriend, much to her credit, accommodated her. Like that one time Kara got so excited when you allowed Maggie to leave her Xbox at your apartment that she started floating in the living room. Maggie had taken her foot then and lowered her to the ground before showing her which games she bought just for her. Or that one time you went grocery shopping and forgot the ice-cream in Maggie’s car and Kara used her freezing breath to save it. Or that other time when you were bringing in Kara’s new bed and both Maggie and you were struggling and Kara, after making sure no-one was looking, carried the frame all by herself.

Maggie was comfortable with your alien sister and her antics, but nothing had prepared her to what was a hyper Kara in a mall as big as Wayne Mall. The mall, following its builder reputation, was grandiose, busy beyond measure and stupidly big.

And Kara had, of course, felt overexcited at her first visit to the largest mall this side of the continent.

That Maggie had promised ice-cream and sweets for over five different stores maybe hadn’t help.

“It’s not your fault,” you tell her honestly as you peek into one of the many toy stores, because it wasn’t.

Kara was with you when she went missing.

“Yeah, but I was the one to ask you to come here.”

You shake your head, stopping as Maggie goes into a kid’s clothes store to ask about your girl. “And I was the one holding her hand,” you remind her when she’s back, Kara-less. “It’s not your fault. It’s not mine. It’s Kara’s. She knows I hate it when she does this.”

Maggie looks at you with a small smirk. “Not the first time she goes missing?”

“Oh, hell, no,” you tell her as you two continue your hunt. You’re not worried she’s missing, per se. She’s not wearing her dampener and you know she knows where you are, so if she runs into trouble she’s able to find you easily. It’s more that you hate it when she disappears because she tends to do things no ten-year-old should be able to do. Like out eating men trice her size in pie-eating contests.

She did that when she was seven and you lost her at Midvale’s annual fair.

You don’t want a repeat of that.

“Care to share?” Maggie asks, more relaxed as she can no doubt see you’re just annoyed, not truly concerned.

“Not at the moment, no.” You return her smirk, because, at least Maggie has already gotten her gift and she had put it away in her car as Kara and you window shopped while you waited for her. Of course, that was when Kara decided to play Houdini. But, at least, you don’t have to focus in anything else than looking for your wayward child.

Maggie smiles at you, showing off her cute dimples. “Any idea, then, of where she might be?”

And you sigh, because, frankly, for all you know she’s not even inside the building anymore.

XxXxX

You are on your third lap around the second floor of the mall when a small voice yells out. By this point you’re not really looking for Kara anymore, you’re just walking around and asking if anyone, by any chance, has seen the girl. “Mama! Mom!”

You and Maggie both freeze, because you both know that voice. And, sure enough, when you turn to one of the first places you’re already looked in, you can see a security guard holding the back of a sheepish looking Kara’s neck. Kara’s white t-shirt is mostly black, her jeans are ripped at the knee, she has a stuffed toy under her arm that you’re certain doesn’t belong to her, and her face is covered in what you know by experience is chocolate ice-cream. You look at the store name and, yes, Kara was busted at Häagen-Dazs.

You and Maggie share a look and you both decide that neither of you are going to play good cop to her.

You walk towards the overpriced ice-cream store, Maggie close to your heels. You are really annoyed and Kara visibly deflates when she gets a good look at you face.

“Mama? Mom?” she asks, suddenly weary.

“This yours?” the guard asks, grunting and shaking Kara a little.

And maybe you’re annoyed at the little blonde, but no one treats your baby girl like that. “Yes,” you snap at him as you reach for your sister, making the man let go of her.

Kara cuddles at your side, trembling just a little bit. She hates it when you are angry and she loathes it when you start snapping at people. She once told you it reminds her of thunder and thunder usually reminds her of what little she can recalls of Krypton’s death. You hate you become snappish when angry, but dammit, not only Kara was missing for the better part of the evening, the damn man was treating your baby like scum and that just make you so, so angry.

Maggie is the one that breaks the little stare down you engage with the guard. “Sir,” she addresses him, shorlty. “What happened?”

You suppress a smirk, because Maggie is using her police voice and that makes the man uncomfortable. “The manager said she was eating all the chocolate ice-cream and refused to leave.”

“I paid for it,” Kara said sulkily from your side, making all three set of adult eyes zone on her. “I did,” she defended herself. You pinch the bridge of nose. Of course she paid for it. Problem was, where on Earth she has gotten the money from.

“May we speak with the manager?” Maggie asks when it’s obvious the man wants to call Kara on it. The guard looks at the three of you with distrust. “I’ll go in with you while my partner here have some words with our kid.” Maggie’s voice is practically oozing command and the man spares a fleeting look at you, before grudgingly guiding your girlfriend inside the store.

Once they are far away enough, you turn to Kara. “Maggie’s taking the Xbox back tonight,” you inform her, seriously. “And you’re not going to Dave’s party this Friday.”

Kara’s eyes widen and her lips starts trembling. “What? Why?!”

“Really, Kara? You need to ask?”

“I paid for the ice-cream!”

XxXxX

Kara is sitting miserably next to Maggie when you return after taking care of the bill her mischief has caused you.

Turns out, Kara has made a name for herself in the short amount of time she was missing. Not only she ate Häagen-Dazs out all their chocolate ice-cream, she did so with three other ice-cream shops and apparently the guard had catch her because the stores started to emit an alert regarding the small blonde. As soon as she put foot in the last ice-cream shop, the manager had called security and they had caught her just before she was able to run away.

Because, yes, she’s been paying… with toy money.

And, the cherry on the top, she has also made a mess in one of the pet stores, ‘freeing’ the dogs and cats (and apparently getting extremely dirty in the process) and she had ‘liberated’ one of the toys at Build-A-Bear.

It’s just a blessing you’re still cashing the royalties of your parent’s patents, because, between feeding Kara and paying for what she just did, you’d be poorer than a bum.

And, really, at this point you’re not only annoyed she left your side, you’re truly pissed she thought she was so clever as to con the stores. She’s your sister, she’s Kryptonian, she’s damn intelligent and she has made a really dumb move.

A really dumb move you could expect from any other kid, but not Kara, who knows better than to attract attention to herself

Kara, who knows how to be well behaved and sweet but chooses not to be when she wants to ‘have fun’.

Kara, who is currently looking at you with such a wounded expression you wonder if she’s feeling remorse or if she’s acting. And, if she is, you wonder where on Earth she learnt to be that good of an actress.

Oh, yes, she learnt it from you.

“Alex?” Maggie asks you as soon as she sees you. They are both waiting in the food court and you see that Maggie has bought a big bottle of water for Kara, who you know from experience is going to crash soon after that much sugar. “Everything fixed?”

“Yeah. Let’s go home,” you said tiredly, rubbing your temples. Right now, you just want to sleep your headache off and you can’t punish Kara right now, because you’re too angry and you don’t really trust yourself not to hurt her.

“Mama?” Kara ask you and, yeah, maybe she might have use that title when she was with the guard, but you’re alone now and Kara only tries to call you that when she’s worried, scared or anxious… or too sleepy to sensor herself. Given that her thumb is caressing her lower lip and her eyes are suddenly dropping, you can only guess she’s all of the above.

You sit next to her, resting a hand on her shoulder. “I’m too mad right now, Kara,” you tell her. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

She looks up at you with watery eyes as she nods. You can tell she wasn’t acting and that she is now feeling guilty. “I’m sorry, Mama,” she says earnestly as she leans on you. “I didn’t think.”

You sigh. “No, you didn’t.”

“C’mon, you two,” Maggie tells you, as she rises form her seat, pulling Kara towards herself and carrying her one-armed. “Let’s get you home.”

You rise and lace you hand with Maggie’s free one. You’re not even home and you don’t want her to leave. “Stay?” you ask her softly as she guides you to her car.

Maggie smiles. “Always.”

XxXxX

It’s only after you’re done scolding Kara the next morning that you and Maggie notice two things:

One, Kara didn’t complained about the almost hour long drive to and from the mall (in fact, neither of you adults thought it could be an issue in the first place).

And, two, neither of you thought to correct Kara that she called Maggie ‘Mom’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, prompts are more than welcome!


	7. Lullaby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tiny knock at the door startles you awake. The week has been horrible and the only thing you had wanted was to cuddle up you lover and sleep until noon the next day. Given the three of you have a free day the next day just played into your plans marvellously. Being woken at four in the morning, however, did not.
> 
> It’s strange, getting used to put clothes after sex when, for as long as you’ve been out and proud, you’re used to pass out as naked as you were born. But, having Kara a door away – you’re glad Alex explained to you Kara’s room is lined with lead once you learnt about her super hearing – chances her wanting in the room at any given hour and you both need to be dressed for that.
> 
> Just like she is doing right now.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where Kara has a nightmare, Maggie speaks Kryptonian and Alex sings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter than usual, but someone asked for family cuddles!!!

The tiny knock at the door startles you awake. The week has been horrible and the only thing you had wanted was to cuddle up you lover and sleep until noon the next day. Given the three of you have a free day the next day just played into your plans marvellously. Being woken at four in the morning, however, did not.

It’s strange, getting used to put clothes after sex when, for as long as you’ve been out and proud, you’re used to pass out as naked as you were born. But, having Kara a door away –  you’re glad Alex explained to you Kara’s room is lined with lead once you learnt about her super hearing – chances her wanting in the room at any given hour and you both need to be dressed for that.

Just like she is doing right now.

Alex is still snoring softly besides you, not having heard Kara’s knocking, so it’s up to you to get up and meet the little girl.

“Hey, sunshine,” you tell her as soon as the door is open and you shouldn’t have been surprised when she instantly collides with your middle, quiet sobs echoing easily in the early morning. “Hey, hey,” you tell her as you pick her up. “What’s the matter?”

“Lexie,” she whimpers, pitifully.

You nod. Over the months you’ve come to know how Kara refers to Alex is a tale-tell of how she’s feeling.

In everyday settings, she refers to your girlfriend as Alex. When she’s in trouble with third parties, when she’s sleepy and when she’s worried Alex is mad at her, she calls her Mama. When she wants to annoy her or wants to be listened, she usually yells Alexandra. But when she’s recently woken from a nightmare, she always call her Lexie.

Alex once said it was because that was how Kara fist referred to her, way back when she was a toddler. And, apparently, Kara’s coping mechanisms always regressed her a little.

“Oh, sunshine,” you coo as you carry her towards the bed. You let her cling to you as you lay down, one hand holding her firmly and the other going to Alex, caressing her cheek softly. “Alex, love,” you tell her gently. “Wake up.”

Your girlfriend stirs just enough to open an accusatory eye at you. Whatever complain she was going to muster dies on her lips as she looks at your arms and she the slightly trembling girl. “Oh, baby,” she unknowingly coos as you did not a minute ago. “C’mere,” she gently orders the girl.

Kara transfer easily into her sister’s arms but one of her hands keeps a firm grip on your tank top. “Lexie. Mama,” she whimpers as her sobs intensify.

“Shh, baby, shh,” Alex hushes her softly. ~ _I’m here. You’re safe. We’re safe.~_

Amidst Kara’s sobs and how your heart aches for her, you are proud you can understand what Alex murmurs to Kara in Kryptonian. With two fluent speakers helping you, it didn’t take you long to learn and now you can speak with them in short sentences, even if both your girls say you carry an odd accent to the language. ~ _Shh, sunshine,~_ you hush her too, as you slid closer to them, so you can spoon Kara completely and Alex can hug her front easily. ~ _We’re here.~_

Kara trembles fiercely once, twice, thrice, before going suddenly limp. When she first did that and you were around, you freaked out because it scared you shitless how she immediately can turn boneless. Kara had been the one to explain you that, by allowing herself to be totally relaxed, she allows Alex to take care of her completely. It’s something she learnt to do when she was a small kid and ever since, it had helped her calm down quicker.

You’d be surprised a ten year old is so aware of her feelings and what calms her or triggers her, but then you look at who her sister is and you remember that Alex is the most analytic person you know. So, of course Kara knows how to calm herself as best as she can and she knows that Alex is the one she can go to when things get too much.

You wait the day when Kara will go to you as she does Alex with held breath.

Kara lays there, her sobbing slowly calming as she starts to hiccup sporadically.

~ _Want to talk about it?~_ Alex asks her when is obvious Kara is not falling asleep as she usually does after one of her nightmares.

~ _You were gone,_ ~ she says soft, almost too soft for you to hear her. ~ _I couldn’t find you.~_

 _~Oh, Kara,~_ Alex sighs. ~ _I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.~_

Kara shakes her head. ~ _We were underwater and I couldn’t find you or Mom,~_ a sob escapes her and suddenly she’s hysterical again _._

Your heart breaks at how the title she’s given you on a handful of occasions is now used without thinking, and at how she’s suddenly even worse than when you opened the door for her. ~ _Kara, Kara,~_ you call to her, because Alex is looking lost and somehow you know you can make them feel better. ~ _Look at me, sunshine,~_ you gently ask her.

Kara turns in Alex’s arms, obeying you without second thought and settling back against your girlfriend, girlfriend who’s looking at you with so much love your breath almost hitches.

~ _Good girl,~_ you tell her honestly. Taking her small hand in yours, you put her over your chest, right over your heart. I need you to close your eyes and listen, Kara. Listen to my heart. Feel it."

And, even when she’s trembling and her breath is failing her and you _know_ she’s starting to panic, she obeys. She closes her eyes and you can see how her brown crinkles in concentration. You deepen your breathing, making it slower than usual and tying to match your heart to it.

~ _Good girl,~_ you praise her again. You look to Alex, before your focus returns to Kara. “Can you try and hear Mama’s heart too? Can you feel her breathing?”

Kara nods and you see how she’s trying to match your breathing, how she presses closer to Alex, how she’s, slowly, too slowly, calming down. But, it’s not enough.

Before you can think of anything else to do before the panic attack starts to build again, a sweet, melodic voice starts singing softly to both of you.

“Hön'marën kena-uva kala, indönya ullumeá,” Alex starts, a gently, yet powerful, melody leaving her mouth. “Nör'ande sëra mi lorien, îm'eri ratö naya.”

You look mesmerized as your girlfriend transforms before your eyes. It’s not something physical, but it’s something that has happened before, if slightly, when you hear her speak Kryptonian. Somehow, speaking, and now singing, the language makes her frail, delicate. Makes her even more beautiful.  
  
“Larya nîn mëlissè, le sinte îma sinomë. Ána sama lemî oloorë,” she continues as she let her hand go rest on Kara’s chest, between both your chests. “Le ar'uunèr ana kaurë.”

“Uur'anor wannëa.” Kara surprises you when she’s the one to sing, her voice a little broken, the next part of the song. “Isilme va'arya.”

“Telume siila tere, na'are utumno wanya,” Alex continues, and you don’t even try to understand what they are singing, you just listen to them.

“Erüma, helkàda,” Kara’s voice is soft, almost as if she’s caressing the words. “Raanè ressè. Lörna à'kuilä.”  
  
“Vàrna mi'olör,” Alex sighs, the musical tilt barely there. “Türma ei ràumo.”

“Sinomë,” they two of them finish together and you can’t be surprised when you notice that both their eyes are closed and Kara’s breathing is even and she has a small smile in her face.

She’s not asleep, yet, but she’s completely calm.

~ _Mama?~_

_~Yes, baby?~_

_~I love you.~_

You see as a small tear escapes from behind Alex’s eyelid. ~ _I love you too.~_

_~Mom?~_

Your breath hitches then, because Kara only calls you that to be a brat, to be the little shit she can sometimes be. But now she’s calm, she’s almost asleep. ~ _Sunshine?~_

_~I love you, too.~_

You smile, because right here, right now, the two owners of your heart have shown, again, how amazing they are. ~ _And I love you.~_

With a sigh better suited for a heart broken grownup, Kara settles and falls asleep in your arms.

And you notice that Alex is not asleep, but you know her enough to know she’s not going to talk to you right now. She’s mulling over something and you can only guess what it is.

So, you close your eyes and focus on Kara’s small, warm, form. You focus on her even breathing and how her chest presses to your own.

Alex will talk to you when she’s ready and not before.

And you’ll wait for her.

But right now, you’re going to sleep and think on how you actually feel at having Kara call you Mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You don't know this about me, but I'm obsessed with lullabies. Every single one of my stories have a lullaby somewhere, somehow. It's like, a _theme_ I choose to set the individuality of each story, no mater the fandom.
> 
> ~ Also, headcanon that Kryptonian sounds vaguely like elvish, musical and sharp ~
> 
> So, I present you:
> 
> Forest Eleves - Lullaby From a Distant Land; found here:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFp9qGtqrbw
> 
> Lyrics (and translation):
> 
> my heart shall see light  
>  _hön'marën kena-uva kala_
> 
> our hearts shall be forever  
>  _indönya ullumeá_
> 
> go forth, rest in dreamland  
>  _nör'ande sëra mi lorien_
> 
> i'll soon be there  
>  _îm'eri ratö naya_
> 
> Wait for me my love  
>  _larya nîn mëlissè_
> 
> You know I'm here  
>  _le sinte îma sinomë_
> 
> To join you in dreams  
>  _ána sama lemî oloorë_
> 
> You have nothing to fear  
>  _le ar'uunèr ana kaurë_
> 
> Fiery sun, begone  
>  _uur'anor wannëa_
> 
> Moonlight, protect us,  
>  _isilme va'arya_
> 
> Heaven's star, shine through,  
>  _telume siila tere_
> 
> Flame of hell, vanish  
>  _na'are utumno wanya_
> 
> Lonely voice, cold and bare  
>  _erüma, helkàda_
> 
> Wandering alone,  
>  _raanè ressè_
> 
> Asleep, yet awake  
>  _lörna à'kuilä_
> 
> Safe in dreams  
>  _Vàrna mi'olör_
> 
> Shelter from the storm  
>  _türma ei ràumo_
> 
> Here  
>  _Sinomë_


	8. Sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You think you two have it long overdue. Really, dating for almost eight months, having great, if quiet, sex, having date nights in and out and you practically spending four nights a week at her apartment without a hitch was too good to be true. 
> 
> Yes, your first major fight was long overdue.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one in where Kara panics, Alex and Maggie fight and feelings are confronted. 
> 
> Oh, and Alex finally caves in.

You think you two have it long overdue. Really, dating for almost eight months, having great, if quiet, sex, having date nights in and out and you practically spending four nights a week at her apartment without a hitch was too good to be true.

Yes, your first major fight was long overdue.

Right now, three days after, and with complete radio silence, you can’t even remember who actually started it. You know it had everything to do with Kara’s first win with the swimming team and how _maybe_ you showered the kid with slightly _too many_ gifts.

But, Kara has won without the use of her powers (somehow, water density helps her be hyper aware of her speed, and helps her to have more control) and so her win had been all on her, not her Kryptonian condition. You were proud, you are always proud of the little kid, but, yeah, maybe you went a little overboard.

Especially when Kara started getting tired and getting bratty and threw a massive tantrum when she was asked to put her toys away and instead of trying to reason with her, you had told Alex to let the kid be, empowering Kara to be more defiant, to start crying and start throwing things.

The dent she made on the wall when she threw her brand new baseball bat was Alex’s last straw.

You’ve never seen your girlfriend that mad at Kara and you tremble remembering how Kara had suddenly gone quiet and still when, by just saying her name, Alex had conveyed how she was feeling.

Kara had paled and fled with supernatural speed to her room, leaving you to face the angry brunette.

Words were exchanged, feelings were smashed, and suddenly you were storming out the apartment. She had texted you about an hour later, surely out of habit to make sure you were safely home.

You lied to her for the first time, telling her that you were in bed when in fact you were at the bar, downing your second beer.

The guilt over that still makes you want to vomit.

But, that was three days ago and you are yet to call her, text her or visit her. You have a standing date with Kara in a couple of days and you’re not sure if Alex would welcome it after what she told you.

She hasn’t call you, text you or even go to the gym.

You’re not sure where your relationship is at the moment.

“Yo, Sawyer!” Silva calls to you. “What you have in there?”

You frown, looking oddly at her, because you don’t follow her. “What?”

She smirks. “You’ve been staring into your locker for twenty minutes. What you have in there that’s so interesting?”

You scoff as you finally shut your locker up. You’ve been spacing out again. “Nothing, Silva,” you huff.

“Ooooh,” she says, glee in her smile as she leans on her own closed locker. “I know that face. Trouble in paradise?”

You look at her, unimpressed. You’re both at the top of your class and you’re often paired together when it comes to dual work, but you’re not always compatible. You want to work with aliens, you want to help the police work with them. She, she wants to work against them, wants the police to lock them up.

Still, you’re somewhat friends and she’s the only one you actually hang out outside the Academy. Most your friends are aliens and non-humans and Silva’s thoughts are sadly shared by the rest of the cadets and you don’t want to constantly hear them complain about how humans are better than aliens.

At least Silva keeps her thoughts to herself.

Most of the time.

“Shut, it, Silva,” you snap. Because, damnit, yes, your paradise is suddenly out of your reach and you don’t know how to cope.

Hell, sleeping in your bed alone for three night in a row is hard. Waking up and not having someone to go to the gym with, returning to an apartment that no longer feels yours and eating breakfast without a girl impersonating a vacuum… it’s hard.

Silva looks at you, something akin warmth in her eyes. “Sawyer, really, what’s wrong?”

You pinch the bridge of your nose (a habit you’ve acquired since dating Alex) and sit on the bench that sits parallel to your locker. No matter how annoyed and down you are, she doesn’t deserve to be snapped at. “I had a fight with my partner,” you confess.

Silva instantly perks up as she sits next to you. The people at the Academy know you got yourself a partner, but you are yet comfortable enough around them to define that yes, the fact that you use the word _partner_ means you are dating someone of the same sex. You are out, you are proud, but there’s something that makes you uneasy to have a whole class of wanna-be police officers knowing who Alex is. Knowing who _Kara_ is.

“What happened?”

You sigh, because right now your very best friend is deployed and you can’t really phone her to talk. And you need to talk to someone. “She has a kid and I fucked up,” you tell her honestly. “I made it look like the kid didn’t need to listen to her and we fought over it.”

Silva winces in sympathy. “Auch, Sawyer. Don’t date people with kids.”

You frown, because, that’s not something you wanted to hear. Maybe, before you ever met Alex and Kara, you’d think just like that, but not now, not now that you love them both. “That’s not the point,” you tell her dryly.

Silva shrugs. “I know, I know. It’s just that that’s something I learnt the bad way. Never date people who have more important people in their lives. Kids fit that description. It’s always messy,” she tells you. “They get attached too easily.”

“The kid sometimes calls me Mom,” you inform her, proudly. She’s wrong and you _need_ her to know it.

Having Kara call you Mom sporadically was strange at first, but it was never ill received. Since that first day at the mall when she called you that, warmth had spread across your chest, even when you felt undeserving of it.

You still do.

Silva winces again. “Bail while you can, Sawyer,” she advices you. “Really, this will only end in heartache.”

You frown and are about to argue, when your phone starts ringing. You decide Silva doesn’t need your attention at the moment as you fish your phone from your jacket… it’s not like she’s giving good advice, or really listening.

“Phones aren’t allowed,” she says, unhelpfully.

You ignore her, because training hasn’t started yet and, even though you’re freshly changed into your uniform, you’ve been carrying your phone on you since you started dating Alex.

Old-ish habits die hard.

And, speaking of Alex, her smiling face, photobombed by a grinning Kara, flashes in your screen. You are frozen in place. Alex is calling you. Alex is calling you when she knows you’re at the Academy. Alex is calling you when she’s supposed to be working. _Alex_ is calling you.

Silva whistles. “She’s hot… and the kid’s cute.”

You took too long and the call disconnects. You stare at your phone, not knowing if you should call back. The decision is made for you, though, when your phone starts ringing again.

“You better not pick that up, yo.”

You take a deep breath. What Alex yelled at you still stings. It stings too much more not being around her. With a slightly shaking hand, you connect the call and greet her with more bravado than you have. “Danvers.”

A sob is the first thing you hear, followed by a tiny, relieved voice. “ _M-Mom?”_

You’re instantly alert and you jump to your feet, ready to run home if necessary in that moment. Kara is calling you. Kara is calling you, when hasn’t really ever called you. Kara is calling you when she’s supposed to be at school. _Kara_ is calling you. “Kara? What’s wrong, sunshine?”

Another sob answers you, and you’re taking your jacket from your locker, phone in hand. “ _Ma-Mama’s not getting up.”_ Her voice is rough, as if she’s been crying for a long time. Given the hour, maybe she has. _“She’s n-not waking up.”_

You swear under your breath, as you take your keys and shut you locker up. “Hold on, sunshine,” you tell her as softly as you can, even you can feel your own panic rising. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“ _Bu-But you’re mad at- at me. It’s my fault yo-you’re gone…”_ She tells you as her crying intensifies and you feel like a failure.

Because, while you’ve been worried about your two ladies, you haven’t really thought of how Kara was perceiving your first fight.

It never occurred to you that the girl was bearing the guilt of it.

It never occurred to you that you hurt Kara too.

“No, no, never, sunshine,” you tell her as you make your way out the locker room. Silva is behind you and you’re not sure if she’s being noisy or truly concerned. “It was never your fault, never yours.”

“… _M-Mama said that too…”_ she tells you in a really tiny voice, and you can hear from it how she doesn’t believe you. How she doesn’t believe either of you.

“And Mama’s right, sunshine. It’s not your fault.” You’re already out in the parking lot and heading towards your car, Silva not too far behind you, trying, in vain to call you to stop. “Mama and I fought, baby, but it’s not your fault.”

“… _y-you’re coming?”_

You nod, even when she can’t see you, because right now, speech is the last thing in your mind. You need to be there with her. ASAP. You open the car and climb into it. Or at least, try to climb into it. Silva is suddenly blocking you and you frown. “Back off!” you tell her brusquely, trying in vain to bypass her.

You hear Kara’s breathe hitch. _“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t- I-”_ And suddenly the line is dead and Kara’s sobbing is gone from your ear.

You curse internally. 

“What the fuck, Silva?!” you snarl at her, fully intending to brake her nose if she doesn’t let you leave.

“The Mayor is coming to see us tonight, Sawyer,” she reminds you. “You can’t leave.”

The Mayor is coming to see you and Silva, specifically, because you two are the ones that show the most promise. But, right now, the Mayor and your future career is the last thing that’s on your mind. Right now something is wrong with Alex, Kara’s guilty and you somehow managed to make things worse. “I don’t care,” you tell her, firmly, because you don’t. “My family needs me, Dani. I need to go.”

She looks at you, really looks at you and she might’ve seen something, because she backs off and let you climb into your car and drive away.

You need to be with your girls right now.

You _need_ to.

XxXxX

Their apartment key has never failed you before, but now your hand is shaking so badly that you almost drop it twice. The door is locked, like it usually is in the mornings, before either of your girls are up, and you breathe a sigh of relief to know that, at least, Kara didn’t venture out alone when Alex isn’t there to take care of her.

“Kara?” you call the moment your keys are on the hook and your shoes are off. “Kara? Sunshine _?_ ”

You can’t see her, but you can hear her the change in sniffles and hushed sobs. She’s somewhere around and she knows you’re home.

“Kara, please, come out,” you beg her as you venture in the house. She’s not in the living room, she’s not in her room and the bathroom is empty.

That only really leaves Alex’s room.

You inch closer to the door that leads to the room that holds more clothes than your own and pause. Kara’s soft crying is farther here, but, now that you’re in front of it, you can’t leave. Something made Kara call you, frantic, and now you’re scared shitless of what you’ll find behind that door.

Turning a doorknob has never been more difficult.

The room is messy. Among all the clothes and papers, the shirt you shed the last night you spent here is still by the nightstand. Alex’s lab-coat is crumbled by the closet and there’re shoes scattered all over. It looks like a small tornado hit the room.

The bed is no better. The sheets are all knotted and the pillows are all on the floor. And Alex is there, laying still and sprawled on her stomach. Her hair is matted and pressed to her forehead in a wet, limp, mass.

She’s not moving.

Is she breathing?

The panic that’s been swirling in the pit on your stomach explodes and you rush to her side.

“Alex, love. Alex.” You shake her and you notice two things: she’s breathing, barely.

She’s burning up. Honest to Rao (shit, you’re swearing like them), she’s burning up like a hot poker. Her clothes are soaked and plastered to her. And, shouldn’t she be shivering?

“Alex!” you yell, knowing that if she doesn’t respond, it’s time to be really concerned.

She doesn’t move.

Damnit. Now what?

Call a doctor? No. Kara is terrified of doctors (even when her sister went through medic school).

Hospital? Hell, no. Not only does that mean doctors, it also means leaving Alex unprotected. Alex and Kara have no next of kin besides each other and you’re just the girlfriend… no hospital would let you make any decision over Alex.

Some professor? No, of course not. Not only you don’t have anyone to contact, you don’t really know how comfortable Alex is with her superiors.

Vasquez? No… she’s at Coast City again and you don’t know when she’s coming back.

Shit. What are you supposed to do?

Okay, okay, deep breaths. Deep breaths.

You need to lower her temperature and you need to find Kara. Not necessarily in that order.

You head outside the room, franticly looking around. ~ _Kara, sunshine, please come here_!~ you call to her in Kryptonian, even when her crying is still going, you can almost feel her relaxing.

Rao, you wish you could be the one relaxing.

~ _I-Is she dead?~_ the girl sobs out.

You jump, because, damnit, why you didn’t remember the kid can fly?!

You look up and, yes, Kara is pressed to the ceiling. Her back is parallel to the ground, her messy hair hanging down, almost touching you, and part you marvel at how her tears didn’t rain on you as you were looking for her. The other, bigger, part, hurts so much at how distressed and heartbroken she looks.

At how scared and distressed she sounded.

At how she asked if Alex (her sister, her world, your lover, _your_ world) is dead.

~ _No, baby, no. She’s sick, she’s not dead,~_ you tell her, you try to comfort her. _~Please come down, baby, please.~_

Kara shakes her head. She’s still too emotional and, you believe, hurt by you. You really can’t blame her.

~ _Please, Kara,~_ you beg her. ~ _I need to see you up close. I need to know you’re okay.~_ Physically, at least. Emotionally, you’re not sure how you’ll ever make it better.

“No.” The sole fact that she answered you in English is enough for you to know that she’s deadly serious and you won’t pressure her. Not now.

“Okay,” you tell her. “Okay. I’m gonna be taking care of your Mama, okay? When you feel like coming down, I’ll be here.”

She doesn’t say anything, but you notice her tears are no longer flowing and that she looks marginally calmer.

You go into Alex’s room again, now prepared for what you’re going to encounter. You bypass her and go directly into her bathroom, filling the tub with cool water, because that’s what you remember your mom doing for you. Alex might not be a kid, but surely cool water works anyway?

As the tub fills to your liking, you start searching for any meds and you realize really quickly that your girlfriend’s been sick for at least the three days you haven’t seen her. She has some prescript medicine in the counter and a bottle of painkillers that she left open is in the cabinet… but, other than that and cramp meds, there’s nothing.

The bottle says one pill every eight hours and, you read with relief, one of its effects is somnolence… maybe it helped to knock Alex out?

You don’t know, you never went to med school and your limited knowledge on biology never covered prescript drugs… just illegal ones.

Once the tub is halfway filled, you go for your girlfriend. Alex is in the same position that she was in the moment you first saw her, but you see with relief that her chest is rising and falling with more ease… or at least it looks that way.

Taking off her clothes is always amazing, but right now, taking her clothes is hard and every movement you do has to be done carefully and you fear that you might hurt her. She’s only wearing a thank top and shorts, but her limbs are heavy and uncooperative. You struggle with her and a sense of doom starts settling in your chest.

What if the cool bath is not enough?

Suddenly, small hands are helping you steadying Alex and you sigh in relief. Kara’s besides you. Kara came down. Kara’s no longer crying. Kara is not afraid of you. Kara’s with you. Kara’s helping you, determination in her small features, and, somehow, things don’t seem so dark anymore.

XxXxX

“Kara, we need to talk,” you inform the little alien.

You two have been working together for most of the day. You’ve bathed Alex and much to your relief her temperature has gone down. She’s still asleep, but a quick Google search has shown you that maybe that’s a good thing. She’s probably suffering a pretty bad infection and her body needs to heal and sleeping is the best way for it to do it.

Or, at least, you hope so.

You’ve taken Alex to the living room to keep her near the window (your research said cool, running, air is better than stale, old air) and Kara kept an eye on her as you cleaned the room and changed the sheets and you two made some soup form a can you found. For when Alex wakes up. For when she’s done scaring you both shitless.

In the meantime, Kara and you need to talk.

The girl looks at you, wearily, but gets up front her spot on the floor besides the couch and goes with you to the open kitchen – you both need to see Alex, to know she’s there. She climbs into a stool and you smile at how her feet instantly start kicking in the air, a habit you’ve grown fond over the months.

“Kara,” you start and you make your voice go as soft and as calming as possible. “What happened, earlier, on the phone… it was a mistake.”

She nods, her puffy red eyes staring at the counter top. “I know,” she says. “I… I overheard someone with you…” You nod. Between her super hearing and Silva being all noisy, of course she picked you weren’t alone. “I didn’t mean to inte-irterput. I’m sorry.” Her voice has gone small, too small and you frown.

“Interrupt?” you ask her, ‘cause as far you know, irterput is not a word.

Kara shrugs, barely, her thumb making its way to her mouth. “’ama saids is inpolide-”

You interrupt her by taking her hand, forcing her to stop her sucking. You bring her palm to your mouth, kissing it as you’ve seen Alex do several times. It’s just a reminder for Kara that she’s doing things right, but that she needs to break the habit and you still love her, no matter what. “I’m sorry, sunshine,” you tell her honestly, laying another kiss to apologize. “I can’t understand you.”

“Mama says it’s impolite to- _interrupt_ someone when they’re on a date, even if you really want to say hello.” She chances a brief look at you, before returning her gaze downwards. “I’m sorry I called, I didn’t know.”

You freeze, because, somehow, Kara thought you were on a date.

With Silva.

“Oh, no, Rao, no!” you tell her, and maybe it came out a little too strong, because Kara jumps a little, and settles frightened eyes on you, her hand going again to her mouth, but settling after a second around her gemstone. “No, Kara, no. Baby, no. It was not a date, Rao, no. I was at the Academy, baby. A classmate was being an ass. Kara, love, no. I’d never do that to you. To your Mama or you. Never.”

Her eyes calm a little, if just a bit, but you know she’s still weary. “Vicky said that too,” she informs you as she plays with her collar. “And she still dated other people.”

You cringe. Alex has told you about her previous girlfriends and sadly Vicky Donahue is the most talked about. She got jealous of Kara since the moment she arrived and she started sleeping around the moment it became clear Alex preferred Kara over her love life. By your calculations Kara was six when they call things off and it amaze you how much she can remember.

But, still, being compared to Vicky Donahue is not something you fancy.

You got to your knees and prostrate before Kara. She looks down at you with widened eyes. “Listen to me, Kara Álainn Danvers. I swear to you that I’ll never date another person for as long as I date your Mama. I won’t leave.”

“… and if you stop dating her…?”

A cold claw grabs your heart as you hear her, as you see how tears start running softly down her cheeks. “For as long as Alex lets me, Kara, I swear to you I’ll always be here for you. I’ll never abandon you.”

The little girl launches at your arms and she embraces you with her whole body and you almost sob in relief as she cries into your neck. Her body goes totally limp, telling you much more than her words could.

Kara believes you. Kara still trusts you.

She trusts you, completely.

A soft snort comes from the living room. “Thanks, Sawyer,” a sarcastic, tired and raspy voice makes Kara and you look up. “Turn me into the bad guy here…”

“Mama!” Kara’s instantly at your girlfriend’s side, leaving you with your arms open, as if you were still holding her. She keeps crying as she climb on Alex, holding her as she was holding you not a second before. Her body shakes but you know this time is in relief. Relief at knowing Alex’s still with you. “Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama…”

~ _Hey, baby,~_ she rasps as her hand goes to Kara’s back, rubbing it up and down.

~ _I w-was so scared.~_

Alex looks at you, funnily, almost as if she didn’t understand what the girl just said.

Maybe she doesn’t.

You go to your girls and kneel besides them. “What’s the last thing you remember, love?”

Alex frowns and Kara looks at her expectantly as her tears start stopping and you wait.

“… we… fought…” she says, slowly, piecing together her thoughts. “… you left.”

You nod. “That was three days ago.”

Alex answer your nod, but her frown doesn’t disappear. “… I went to work and class the day after… and so did Kara… I finally caved and went to the doctor… yesterday…?” She looks to her sister. “What day is it?” she finally asks.

“Thursday,” Kara says helpfully.

Alex looks at the clock and swears softly in a language that you know it’s not Kryptonian and definitely is not English. Apparently Kara’s swear jar is making Alex get creative. She looks down to her sister again and states, “you didn’t go to school.”

Kara shakes her head before nuzzling her sister’s breast, laying herself completely across Alex.

Alex looks at you, wondering. Contemplating. “You’re supposed to be at the Academy. The Mayor is visiting today.”

You look at her and smile, sadly.

“My girls needed me.”

And Alex smiles, tired. She smiles and your heart melts. “Glad to still be yours,” she tells you in a tiny but happy voice and you realize that Kara’s breathing is even and soft and her thumb has found its way to her mouth.

“Always.” You nod as you rise, fully intending of taking Kara to her bed, but Alex stops you.

“No,” she says. “Come lay here with us.”

“Alex, you had a pretty high fever.” Kara is a furnace and you doubt your own body heat would help her.

Alex looks at you, insecurity in her eyes. “Please, I need to feel you.”

You look at the couch, dubiously. There’s no way you three can fit in the narrow thing. You go and gently start caressing Kara’s head. “Hey, Sunshine,” you tell her softly, knowing she’s been asleep for far too little to be actually _sleeping_. “Sunshine.”

Kara stirs and Alex frowns at you. “’om?” she asks you.

“Baby, go get into Mama’s bed, okay?” you tell her. “Mama and I will be there shortly.”

Kara nods sleepily as she slides off Alex before floating lazily towards your bedroom.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked you, confused, as soon as Kara’s out of ‘normal’ hearing range.

You wince, because there is a reason you fought in the first place. “I’m sorry,” you tell her honestly. “I shouldn’t order her around.”

Alex winces back to you. “No, no, love,” she tells you. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I-” she gulps. “I didn’t mean it. I was frustrated and… and I was jealous. She preferred you, Maggie, that stung.” She looks at you with such honest eyes you can’t see fault in what she’s saying. “You are Kara’s Mom… that’s it, if you still want to be.”

Alex’s words from three days before come hunting you back:

_Damnit, Maggie! You’re not her family. You don’t get to call the shots._

_She’s not yours!_

_You’re spoiling her, damnit! You’re making my work even more difficult._

You close your eyes, trying to bypass the pain your memories bring up. “She’ll always prefer you, but you were right. She’s not mine… I shouldn’t presume she is.”

“I was wrong, love,” she says. “I was so wrong and I was so angry and I am so sorry. Please forgive me. Please, Maggie.”

You smile a tiny bit, because the remorse you hear in her voice is the same you’ve carrying around for three days. “And I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean what I said.”

“I forgive you,” Alex says way too quickly and your breath catches, because, yes, you were hurt, but you also had said some nasty things, and, frankly, you are more concerned of how you were the one to hurt Alex… and by extension, Kara:

_She’s not your blood, either! She just got unlucky enough to land in your family!_

_Poor her, not being able to find someone better to take care of her._

_Me? Making your work difficult? Love, I’m the only reason that kid has a childhood!_

“Alex, I hurt you too and I’m sorry… I was angry too and… I knew I’d hurt you… I’m so sorry. Please, forgive _me_.” You tell her honestly and you see as she get a passionate look to her. You watch as Alex struggles to sit up and you rush to help her. “Easy, Al, easy.”

“Margaret Ellen Sawyer,” she tells you as sombre as she can while palling and swaying a little in place. “Move in with us.”

“Rao, Alex, I…” you trail off, because, well, you don’t know what to tell her.

You don’t know how to express the way your heart is soaring and clenching at the same time.

Alex’s serious and determined look falls, just a little bit and any bystander would fail to notice it… but you’ve spent the last eight months memorizing Alex’s face, Alex’s body, Alex’s moods, Alex’s mannerisms… and you can see her confidence failing her. “I mean, if you’d be interested in that,” she says. “You don’t need to, you know? I know you have a life built around your place and you shouldn’t change that. I-”

You interrupt her with a soft kiss. “Ally,” you breathe out as you let your lips separate from hers. “I love you Alexandra Caroline Danvers. I’d love to move in with you both.” You chuckle. “Hell, my whole wardrobe is in your closet already.”

“Jar!” Kara’s small, and excited little voice can be heard from the bedroom.

Alex snorts and you laugh and Alex beams at you and you kiss her tenderly. “I love you,” Alex says and you can feel it in your bones.

“Good, ‘cause I love you too. Both of you.” You let go of her for a second, just long enough so you can gather your sick girlfriend into your arms, cradling her to you and lifting her in a smooth movement, bridal style.

You’re so glad you work out.

Alex squeals, “Sawyer! Put me down!”

You shake your head. “Not happening, Danvers. You’re weak and Kara and I can’t see you unconscious again.”

Alex huffs, as she goes limp, adding to her weight and making you grunt. Damn, she’s heavy when she wants to be. “I wasn’t unconscious, you dork. I was asleep,” she grumbles.

You use the hand that’s supporting her back to tickle her, barely. She responds by jumping and making you almost drop her. “Stop moving,” you tell her as you cross the threshold of your room and you imagine for a moment how it’ll be when you do the same thing on your wedding day in your brand new house, Kara waiting for you inside, just like she’s doing right now. “We bathed you and you never woke up, nerd. You were unconscious.”

Alex huffs again as you lay her down on her side of the bed. Kara has been a helpful girl and had the covers down already, waiting for you two. She’s at Alex’s side the moment she can and she hugs herself to her sister. “You were like dead,” she tells her, honestly.

Your girlfriend winces and you change out your uniform. You’ve been too busy to really realize you never changed and, if you’re going to be napping the afternoon away as you think you’ll be doing, you gotta be comfortable.

“I’m sorry, Kara,” Alex says. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay, Maggie was here,” the girl tells her as she nuzzles her. You try to ignore how the use of your given name pains you. “Is she living with us, now?” she asks.

Alex snorts and you smile. “Don’t pretend you weren’t listening, Kara,” Alex tells her. “Lying is bad.”

Kara shrugs as you slide in behind the kid, spooning her and throwing an arm around both your girls. “You lie all the time,” she informs you both.

“How so?”

“You say broccoli is good. It’s not,” she crinkles her brow. “Broccoli is evil,” she states, making you both chuckle.

“Yes, Kara,” you say. “Broccoli is evil and, yes, I’m living with you now.” Kara wiggles happily in between you, making you somehow remember something important. “Alex, love?” you ask as the woman closes her eyes and embraces the girl to her chest.

“Hmm?”

“Do you need something to eat? Drink? We made soup…”

Alex smiles, but doesn’t open her eyes. “I’m fine, love. My stomach’s the problem, I don’t think I’d be able to eat anything, to be honest.”

You nod as you close your eyes and Kara wiggles again, settling for a nap. You close your eyes, as you let all the tension leave your body and you sigh, happily, because, even if Alex and you apologized to each other and you’ve made up, you still need to talk about it and set boundaries.

But right now it’s not the time.

You are tired and ready to succumb to sleep when Kara tiny voice startles you. “Can I call you Mama, now?” she asks and you open your eyes. Yes, Kara labels Alex as her Mama most of the time now, but when she address her, directly, she still calls her Alex… unless she’s too sleepy to censor herself or too distressed. Something similar happens with you now, too, she calls you Mom when she can’t help herself. Reason why you can’t hold her accountable for how hurt you were minutes ago.

She’s never been told she can call you anything other than Maggie.

Kara is looking up to Alex and your girlfriend open her eyes and she looks down. You see the conflict in her eyes, but, then Alex looks at you and you smile, encouragingly. Alex looks down to Kara again, a tiny, tired, smile gracing her features. “Yes, baby, you can,” she finally (and by what she’s told you she’s been resisting for _years_ ), finally caves. “I’m sorry I took so long.”

Kara is suddenly turning in her arms and she faces you, her determined eyes boring into you. “Can you be my Mom?” she ask you earnestly and it’s your turn to look at Alex. You know what you want, but you really need to know your girlfriend is okay with it.

Alex beams at you and your pained heart settles. You look at Kara and kiss her forehead. ~ _Yes, sunshine. Yes. I’d be honoured.~_

It’s Kara’s turn to beam at you and she buries here face in your chest, nuzzling you like she always does with Alex. “I love you,” she tells you. “I love you two.”

Alex’s hand comes to rest on your hip, and she drops a kiss to the back of Kara’s head. “We love you, too, baby.”

You sigh and kiss Alex over Kara’s head. ~ _Yes, sunshine, we love you so much_.~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that got out of control... I got the prompt of Maggie saving the day and taking care of Alex while entertaining a nervous Kara... didn't quiet worked out like that...
> 
> Still pretty happy with the end result.
> 
> Also, school is picking up and I might not be able to update in a couple of days as I've been doing. I'll try to keep the wait to a minimum. 
> 
> In the mean time, _send prompts!_


	9. Cousin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mom! Hurry, hurry! Mom!”
> 
> You smile at how excited your girl is… and at how frizzled Maggie looks.
> 
> “Mom! Hurry up!”
> 
> “Kara,” you call the girl as you go to them and catch Kara by the back of her parka. You’re inside Archie Goodwin International Airport and, even as Kara is dragging Maggie by the hand, you don’t want the girl to get lost. 
> 
> Again.
> 
> Especially when she’s this excited.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where Lois and Clark visit. Enough said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, not sorry.

 

“Mom! Hurry, hurry! Mom!”

You smile at how excited your girl is… and at how frizzled Maggie looks.

“Mom! Hurry up!”

“Kara,” you call the girl as you go to them and catch Kara by the back of her parka. You’re inside Archie Goodwin International Airport and, even as Kara is dragging Maggie by the hand, you don’t want the girl to get lost.

Again.

Especially when she’s this excited.

“Let Mom walk by herself, baby,” you scold her lightly. “She’s not going anywhere. She knows you can find her if she tries.”

Kara pouts up at you and you hug her to your side, keeping an even gait and forcing Kara to _relax_.

You’re early enough and you don’t need to hurry. Their flight hasn’t landed yet. You have time.

Also, the only reason you’re early is because an airport is the only place Kara can eat her favourite sticky buns without guilt: Noonan’s, on airports, somehow, never runs out of them.

Kara’s full and you’re so glad you brought an extra shirt, because your girl can get messy and she needed one after her twelfth piece.

You’re also, really, really glad that the staff rotation in airports allows you to treat Kara at last twice a year in the same place without raising any eyebrows… restaurants’ staff tends to remember Kara only after one meeting.

Maggie snorts at you, but sends you a grateful smile, nonetheless. “I’m not running away, sunshine,” she informs her as she laces her fingers with yours. “I don’t want to sleep in the bathtub tonight.”

It’s your turn to snort as you lay a kiss to her cheek. “Good to know you can be trained, Sawyers.”

“Ew, Mama, gross!”

You laugh again, because, why not? You want to take advantage of your alone time before Clark and Lois arrive and kissing Maggie while grossing Kara out is a damn good way to do just that. “Why Kara, don’t you like my kisses?”

Kara crinkles her brow, thinking. “I do,” she says. “But you kissing Mom is gross.”

Maggie shakes at your side, trying too hard not to laugh. “And why is that, sunshine? Last time I checked I didn’t have cooties.”

Kara stops walking, almost making you trip and forcing you both to stop. She looks up at you both and tells you in that serious, no nonsense tone she’s been acquiring, “good. Boys have cooties and they are gross.”

Maggie loses her battle with her laughter and you’re not too far behind.

“Mom! Mama!” Kara whines and stamps her foot against the floor with just enough force for it to crack just a little bit.

You both try to reign in your laughter. “Easy, Kara,” you gently remind her. “Try to control your strength.”

Kara looks confused for a second, before she glances down and she the small cracks on the tile. You look at how she pales and she’s suddenly a burr to your front, shaking. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey,” you tell her as you embrace her. “Nothing happened, baby. It was an accident.”

She looks up at you and Maggie rests a hand on her head. “Hey, sunshine, don’t cry. You didn’t mean it.”

Kara’s eyes are brimming with tears. “You’re not mad?” she asks you and you pause, realizing that in any other circumstance, in any other time, you’d be mortified she lost control of her powers.

But, for some reason, you’re not.

“Did you want to break the floor?”

“No.”

“Then, no, baby, we’re not mad. It was an accident, but you need to be more careful, okay?”

She nods, frantically.

You smile down at her. “Good.”

Maggie’s hand gently smooth her hair, making her close her eyes in pleasure. “Sorry we teased you, sunshine.”

Kara lets go of you and instantly goes to Maggie, almost knocking her down as she hugs her. “It’s okay,” she tells her. “I like it when we tease Mama, too.”

“Hey!”

Kara and Maggie laugh at you and you can’t help but smile.

You love your little family and you wouldn’t change them for the world.

XxXxX

“So… What I’m looking for?”

Kara’s on Maggie’s shoulders, something about your bones ( _Mama! You’re bony! Mom’s softer!)_ and she’s looking all around, while your girlfriend tries to keep her balance. “Tall, dark and handsome,” you tell Maggie. “Oh, and he wears glasses and probably he’ll have some stupid plain shirt and slacks.”

“Jar!”

You roll your eyes lovingly. “Kara,” you tell her with amusement. “We’re outside.”

The girl shrugs, her eyes still scanning the seemly endless sea of people at the arriving gate. “You still swore.”

Maggie laughs. “Sorry, darling. You heard the little lady. You still swore.”

You huff playfully, but you know you’ll be dropping money in that jar constantly through the long weekend… Clark is going to be staying at your apartment, after all.

“I see them! I see them!” Kara’s suddenly pointing to somewhere ahead.

Its Thanksgiving weekend, making it difficult for you to see amidst that much people. You don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, you never did, even when your parents were alive, but you do celebrate the day Kara came into your life.

You know her birthday is a couple of months earlier than what you celebrate, but for some or other reason, your parents decided to jot down the day she arrived to their doorstep as her birthday and it stuck. Now you celebrate the girl every November 25, which, more often than not, matches with Thanksgiving weekend.

“Where?” Maggie asks and you have to bite your lip at how she’s standing on her tiptoes, trying to see over many taller people.

The love of your life is just priceless.

“There!”

You look to where Kara is trying to direct Maggie and, yes, Clark’s large frame is not too far away, and you had to smirk, because the face of repulsion in his face is priceless.

You love how Lois hates flying Kal-lines and so forces Clark to travel American Airlines.

You once went flying with Clark, when he was yet to be a complete asshole and you can’t blame Lois.

Clark is a messy flyer and even Kara, who’s still growing into her powers, could fly better when you used to take her flying far from civilization… you haven’t gone flying since the accident and it had everything to do with the fact that you used to drive for hours for it to happen. Now that Maggie’s made Kara comfortable with car rides again you might take her flying again.

You look at your right. You want to take Kara flying again.

With Maggie at your side.

“Kara!” Lois voice reaches you before you can see the woman and you frown when Maggie startles as she lowers Kara to the ground. You frown deeper when Maggie suddenly goes rigid and Kara senses something is wrong. You frown even deeper, when, the journalist that’s marrying Superman comes before you and freezes, just as she’s about to hug your girl.

“Maggie?”

“Lois?”

They voices overlap and you and Kara is attached to your side, weary and you are left speechless.

How on Earth do they know each other?

XxXxX

“So, let me get this straight,” Maggie snorts at your statement and you can’t really hit her as you’d like, because she’s the one driving. “Maggie’s best friend Lucy, is Lucy Lane. As in, Lucy-the-pain-in-the-butt little sister of Clark’s fiancée. Lois’ known Maggie for years as Maggie used to spend weeks at your house in Metropolis… am I right?”

Lois nods from the backseat. “Yeah, that’s pretty much it.”

You sigh, because, really? How small can the world be? You twist so you’re not so uncomfortable looking at Lois and still keep the conversation going. Only downside, you have a better view of Clark than Lois.

Pity.

“Oh!” Kara asks excitedly from the third row of the SUV you rented for the weekend. “That means Mom can come to the wedding too?”

Clark’s frown, which he has been sporting since he saw you, deepens at how Kara refers to your girlfriend and you raise an eyebrow to him, daring him to say something.

He might be the Man of Steel, but you’ve dedicated your life to know how to bend Steel… there’s a reason you specialized in alien biology and sciences.

Lois smiles back to your sister, not even overthinking the title. “Of course she can!” She looks at your girlfriend with a barely there smirk. “In fact, I was pretty sure she was going to be Lucy’s plus one… I kinda put my money on those two,” she teases and you see from the corner of your eye how Maggie gags silently.

“Hell, no!” your girlfriend denies. “Lucy’s not my type!”

“Jar!”

You snort and Maggie sighs, before continuing, “’sides, wasn’t she seeing that co-worker of yours?”

“James?” Lois asks and you see Clark made an ugly face… like the one he does when he wants to talk, but whatever he’s going to say it’s spiteful.

“Yeah, that one.”

“Jimmy’s not seeing her,” Clark grumbles and you wonder what on Earth his problem with Lucy Lane is.

She’s Maggie’s bestie and from what you’ve heard, Lucy’s a badass, kick-ass, officer in the Army. You kinda hope she lays it on Clark as often as she can as you suspects she does.

Nobody really likes Clark Kent. At least nobody other than Lois Lane.

You see how Maggie’s hands on the steering wheel tighten, making you wonder for the first time if she also knows Clark from before. You’ve been so surprised at Lois knowing Maggie that you forgot to ask that little fact. Oh, well, Maggie’ll tell you in time.

“Fancy seeing you out and about, Clark,” Maggie bites. “I thought you never left the Planet.”

Oh, they know each other, alright.

You smile internally. Not only have you made your feelings about Kara’s cousin known to Maggie, you were so touched your girlfriend became as upset as yourself in behalf of your kid and you were so grateful that Maggie learnt quickly that Clark is a sore topic for you.

He was your big brother for year, and then he became an asshole.

You’re still salty he abandoned you, if you’re completely honest.

“I have a life, you know?” he bites back and you have to hide a smile when Lois puts a hand on his bicep and squeezes tight.

“So,” Lois changes the topic as swiftly as she can. “How’d you two met?”

You smile at Lois gratefully. She’s not so bad. Other than having really shitty tastes when it comes to her men, she’s good enough and she’s helped calm Clark down.

You’re sad and glad she started dating him way after he dumped Kara on your doorstep. On one hand, she would been more caring to the three-years-old than he ever was, but on the other, she might have convince him to keep her.

You’d never have your baby if that’d be the case.

“Well,” Maggie drawls. “About a year back I kept seeing this gorgeous girl around campus-”

“Mom! Gross!”

“-I went to her and asked her out. She said yes and the rest, as they say, is history.”

Lois harrumphs. “Urg, I wanted _details_.”

Maggie smirks, “sorry, Lois. You’re the wrong Lane to be asking that.”

You smile, because, on Saturday, you’d be celebrating your baby’s eleventh birthday and you’ll do so with your family for the very first time.

XxXxX

“You’re staying in Kara’s room,” you tell Lois as you open the apartment’s door.

Kara’s besides you, vibrating with excitement, and Clark is the one that’s carrying the suitcases as Maggie’s trying to park the SUV not too far from your building.

Lois wiggles her eyebrows at you as you let your overly eager alien run inside the house, no doubt she’s going to enlist Lois to play Xbox with her. “And Maggie? Where’s she staying?”

You can’t help but blush. “Maggie moved in last month,” you tell her as composed as you can. “We’ve been together for almost a year, now…”

“Mama!” Kara calls you, from somewhere within the place. “Where’s my skateboard? I wanna show it to Clark!”

Lois raises an eyebrow at you “Skateboard?”

You shrug. “Maggie’s teaching her, what can I say?”

Lois snorts as you lead a silent Clark to Kara’s room and Lois goes looking for Kara.

“You’ve been quiet,” you notice out loud. Frankly, you like it better when he’s not splurging nonsense out his mouth, but even so, he’s been more quiet than usual. He grumbles something in Kryptonian and you decide you don’t want the bother of trying to understand him. “You can leave your things here,” you say. “Kara’s gonna be sleeping with us, so you can have her bed.” Clark’s frown deepens even more as he closes the door, to give you privacy, and you can’t help but feel irritated with him. “What?”

He turns to you, and sees you for the first time since he landed. “She’s calling you ‘Mama’,” he says with disdain in his voice.

You become instantly defensive. “Yes, she is.”

“I thought you knew that’s a bad idea,” he continues. “You’re too young to be a mother.”

You glare at him, coldly, as you turn to leave. “I was too young to be a mother, Kal-El,” you inform him. “But even then, you dropped the kid in my lap and I took her in.”

“Your parents took her in,” he corrects you, grabbing your wrists to stop you, clenching it ever so tightly to hurt. You refuse to wince. “Not you. You were never part of the plan.”

You tense, because, that’s true.

Not long after Kara arrived to Midvale and you started bonding with her, Clark returned. He was so mad and to date you don’t know why he was so against you helping with Kara. When you were a child, your parents were never home. They used to forget they had a kid and they only remembered when you brought your school card or when you mentioned some fair or another… you’ve been doing science since you can remember just to catch your parents attention, for at least a couple of hours at a time.

You never wanted that for Kara.

“They were busy. I wasn’t.”

Kal-El looks down at you. Sometimes, when he does that, you remember how it was to be her baby sister for a while and warmth spread across your chest. Today, that’s not happening. “You could’ve finish your PhD years ago, yet you stopped everything to help a kid you just met.”

“She was two, Kal,” you bite out the name you know he dislikes the most. “I wouldn’t leave her alone.”

“She was almost three,” he corrects you, applying more pressure to your wrist. “She was old enough to be by her own.”

You frown. Damnit, now he’s going to start lamenting his childhood. “Drop it, Kal. The only way you could be by your own was because your planet had robot nannies. Kara arrived on Earth, moron, she needed protection. We don’t have your home’s technology. You lament that fact almost daily.”

Clark’s iron grip on you never ceases, and you know you’ll bruise. You stare at each other, neither receding an inch, until the door to the room opens and Maggie’s in there, watching you wearily. Her eyes go to Clark’s hand in your wrist and he lets go, not addressing Maggie and leaving the room.

“You okay?” Maggie asks you as she keeps her eyes on where Clark grabbed you.

“Yeah,” you breathe out. “He’s just an ass.”

“Mama?” Kara’s suddenly at your side, attached to your middle. “You two fought?” she asks with a massive pout.

You smile down to your girl. She’s not responsible of the shaky relationship you have with the Man of Steel. And, even when you hate his balls, Kara somehow loves him.

You won’t ever take him away from her.

“You know we don’t see eye to eye, baby,” you tell her as you embrace her. “But that doesn’t mean we fought. We’re okay, baby. We’re okay.”

And you can feel Maggie’s accusatory stare the moment the lie leaves you lips.

You’re definitely not okay.

XxXxX

“- and then, I just gave it my best and we won! We actually won!” Kara says as she bounces in her seat, excited. “We actually won!”

You smile at the girl as you chew your chicken. You’re staying in tonight and then going out tomorrow, on Kara’s birthday, to dine in five different places. You know Maggie, Lois and you won’t really be eating, but is your tradition to take Kara to different restaurants on her birthday and let her have two plates on each, plus dessert.

Maybe Kara loves celebrating her birthday because it’s the only day you let her mix that much food.

Or maybe it just the presents.

“Really?” Lois asks her and you have to give it to her. She actually looks interested.

Clark, not so much.

“Yes!” Kara floats a little in her seat and you gently tap her knee in acknowledge. She’s sitting in between you and Maggie in the long table your girlfriend brought from her place, with Lois and Clark in front of you, and you and Maggie gave been taking turns in reminding Kara to stop floating.

You won’t scold her, but you need her to be excited without floating.

She can control it, you know it, but, right now, she’s letting her walls down and she knows she’s among family. She’s not even trying.

“I want to try singing next year, too,” Kara keeps talking for all you. “Mom says I can try for glee club and enter without problem and Mama says I can walk home alone next year too, so I don’t have to worry if they can’t pick me up!”

Clark mumbles something, something too low for you to hear, but Kara does as her face instantly falls as she comes to sit again on her seat. “I will,” she mumbles as she resumes her eating.

You clench your fork with too much force, but you force yourself not engage him. You just squeeze Kara’s knee under the table, “baby?”

She shakes her head, but you can see her eyes watering. You don’t want to make things worse, but, damnit, can’t he be nice for once?

You really can’t understand why Kara asked you to invite him over.

“What did you say to her?”

Maggie’s voice is calm and collected, as she keeps her eyes on her pasta, but you’ve been together for almost a year now and you know she’s anything but. You can tell Kara is also aware of it, because she get closer to you, ever so lightly.

Clark ignores her, but you can see how Lois frowns, not in a mean way, but more in a confused way. She looks at you, weirdly, and you raise an eyebrow. Didn’t she hear Kal talk?

“Yo, Man of Steel,” Maggie says in her cheery voice, her eyes finally levelling on him. “I’m talking to you.”

Everybody freezes at that. You, because you can see the ice behind Maggie’s eyes, ice you’ve seen when she gets home after a tiring day at the Academy, fencing off narrow-minded people, or when the news report yet another dead kid in the City, or when she’s passionate about something most people brush off as common.

Kara has grown to know that look, too, and she always has a hug for Maggie when she arrives sporting it. But now, she looks at your partner with wide eyes and she climbs onto your lap. She’s intelligent, a little genius, and she knows there’s trouble heading your way.

And, you’re mostly certain, that Lois and Clark are frozen because no one ever said Maggie knew who Superman really is.

“You told her,” Clark says in a tone that barely contains his anger. “You violated us.”

You scoff, embracing Kara to you, knowing the night is lost and maybe even the weekend. Rao, you hate him. “Get down your goddam high horse, Kal. She’s my girlfriend, of course she knows.”

“She never told, me,” Maggie rolls her eyes. “I’m gonna be a detective, I detect. But I don’t care about that now. What I care about, is, what did you tell to our daughter?”

Your breathe hitches, because Kara’s been calling you Mama and Mom for little over a month, but Maggie, nor you, has ever referred to her as daughter. Our kid, our baby, our spawn that one time she was on a sugar high… but never daughter. Maybe in your heads you’d call her that, but never out loud, of that you’re certain.

“She’s not yours,” Clark states simply as he resume his eating. None of you women, however, can. You’re all looking at him as if he has grown three heads.

“Yes, she is,” you inform him sharply and you can feel how Kara’s holding your gemstone with one hand as she hides in your neck. “She’s our daughter. What did you tell her?”

“Clark?” Lois ask him and you can see, with barely concealed hope, that she’s angry at him.

That’s a first.

He ignores you three as he serves himself enough pasta to feed a small army.

Maggie shakes her head as she turns to your kid… your daughter. “Hey, sunshine, can you tell me what he said?”

Kara turns ever so slightly and you don’t need to see to know her eyes show her hesitation. “He… he just said I need to focus in more produc-productive things… that singing and swimming are a waste of time… that Maggie doesn’t get to call the shots…”

You tense. For as long as you’ve been taking care of Kara, be it like her sister and now like her mother, you’ve been done everything in your power to make her feel ‘normal’, to let her do things she can do while still keeping her powers to herself.

When Maggie came along, she helped immensely. She started doing the things you never learnt when you yourself were a kid. You never learnt to be a kid and you have no idea how you could make Kara have a childhood without Maggie in your lives. She’s the glue that’s helped you both put yourselves back together. She’s the love of your life, your soulmate, and she’s your daughter mother.

“Kara,” Lois says before any of you can explode. “He’s wrong. He’s wrong and you know it. Don’t listen to people who are wrong.” She glares at Clark and it takes you a moment to realize this is the very first time you’ve ever seen Lois pissed off at Clark… granted, you don’t see them often, but when you do, Lois is always like a lovesick puppy and Clark… Clark is usually less of a jerk.

“But…” Kara tries to say something to defend her cousin, but, really, you doubt that even someone as brilliant as her can come up with something.

“No, baby,” you tell her. “Lois is right. He’s out of line. Maggie’s Mom, just like I’m Mama.” You too glare at him and you know Maggie’s glaring too, but you also know she’s too angry at the moment to voice her opinions without exploding. “He’s a guest here and right now he’s not being very polite.”

Clark scoffs. “She’s also a guest here.” He glares back at you. “She’s not your family.”

“Clark!”

Lois’ yell is matched with Maggie suddenly standing up in defence and Kara’s quiet sobbing. “Alex,” Maggie tells you. “Please, take Kara to her room.”

You send her way a dubious look, but you know Kara can’t witness whatever is going to happen next, and frankly, you’re so glad you don’t have to face this battle again, that you simply comply and stand up as quickly as your nervousness allows you, cradling a your distraught daughter to your chest.

The last thing you see as you close the lead-lined door, is Maggie taking out a small square box from her back pocket and you wonder, briefly, when did Maggie had the time to take Kara’s dampener out your bedroom.

XxXxX

You lay in Kara’s bed in complete silence. Your girl is nestled besides you and she’s sucking her thumb while nuzzling your breast, one of your hands caressing her head and the other simply touching her back. She’s no longer sobbing, but her tears are still running. You ran out of things to say to her a while ago. There’s just so many times you can tell her that everything was going to be fine, that her Mom is okay, that Clark is not going to hurt her, that he was wrong, that she’s loved.

You really hope Maggie’s alright, facing those two.

You feel worthless, and weak, but mostly guilty for not wanting to exit the room to see what’s happening out there. You’ve been inside for a long while, now, and you wonder if this is what kids feel when their parents fight, uncertain and scared.

Maggie is definitely not your parent, and you feel so guilty for leaving her to confront Clark on her own, but you’re so tired, so weary and so, so, so, hurt to see that he turned out to be such a bastard. You just want him out your life, but you’re also so scared that he might do something to hurt you or Kara.

He’s Superman and you’re a lowly PhD student.

Not even your research and reputation could help you with this if he decides to make your life difficult.

“I don’t want him here.”

Kara’s quiet voice reaches your ears. She sounds defeated and too sad. She sounds like when your parents died.

“Baby?” you ask her as you look down. Yes, she’s still crying, but she’s now playing with your gemstone.

“I don’t want him here. He’s bad.” She looks up to you. “I want him gone.”

Your heart clenches at how hurt she looks. She’s always loved him and you’ve always hate it, but it breaks you that she’s been so hurt so young.

It is one thing to see tragedies out your control, out anyone’s control, happen. It’s another thing, completely, to be hurt by a person that should be taking care of you.

“Oh, no, baby, no,” you coo. “No, baby. He’s not bad… he’s just wrong.”

“Mom says he forgets he loves me, ‘cause he’s too into himself. He forgets.”

You smile. “Your Mom’s intelligent. She’s right.”

Kara smiles up to you. “Yeah, she’s smart.” She nuzzles you again, sighing. “She chose to be with us. She’s smart.” She sighs again. “I still don’t want him here.”

“He’s your cousin.” You kiss the top of her head. “He’s family.”

“No, he’s not.” Her voice is muffled by your shirt. “You’re family, Mom is family. He’s not. Maybe, when I’m older and I can do what he does, I’ll see him. But not now. He hurt you.” Her small hand is caressing you writs, where you can see a bruise forming. “I don’t like him.”

“Oh, baby-”

The door opens, interrupting you. At the threshold are Maggie and Lois. Your girlfriend is a little red and Lois is too pale, her mascara smudged and she’s still trying to control her breathing. “He left,” Kara’s cousin-in-law informs you.  “He flew back.”

You want to ask Lois if she’s fine, but you know it pointless. She seems as heartbroken as Kara looks and you’re certain that this little visit has strained things between them. Maybe Lois will wise up and finally dump him.

Maggie looks at the bundle in your arms, sadly. “I don’t think he’ll be back in a while. I’m sorry, sunshine. I know you wanted to celebrate this birthday with him.”

Kara turns so she can face the two women in the doorway, settling back against you. “That’s okay. I don’t like him anymore.” She fixes her eyes on Lois. “Are you staying?”

Lois smiles sadly. “If you’ll have me.”

“Yes, please, cousin. Stay.”

Lois looks at you, uncertain. You nod, telling her it’s alright. You don’t hold anything against her. Just Clark. “I will.” Lois smiles. “Do you mind if I stay in your bed tonight?”

Kara shrugs. “I’m sleeping with my moms, so that’s okay.”

Lois’ eyes get a spark that announces mischief. “Aren’t you a little too old to be sleeping with your moms?” she teases, surely trying to save the night.

It doesn’t work.

Kara levels her with her more serious and honest look. “I’ll never be too old to sleep with the people who love me the most.”

XxXxX

Years later, when an inconsolable twenty-four-years-old Kara climbs into bed with you, when she nuzzles her nose to your breast as her hand reaches back for Maggie’s top, you remember what she said. Your heart fills with pride at how she always stands up for what she believes in and how, no matter her age, she always comes to you whenever her world crumbles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Clark's an ass.
> 
> ...
> 
> ... just saying.


	10. Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Excited?” she asks you and you nod.
> 
> You’re so excited you need to keep looking down to check you’re not floating.
> 
> Oh, Rao, you are.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where Maggie teaches Kara snow stuff (AKA I had to learn how to build a snowman at WikiHow so I could write this).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to @reinakonanofate that's helping me polish this thing! She's beta'ing my sorry ass and I humbly say thanks for taking the time to help me perfect this story.
> 
> Go say hi to her, people!

“Excited?” she asks you and you nod.

You’re so excited you need to keep looking down to check you’re not floating.

Oh, Rao, you are.

You concentrate and you feel your feet touching ground. Mom gives you a small smile, but doesn’t say anything. They haven’t been saying anything to you, lately, when you can’t control your powers. You’ve been so happy that you’re floating more and more every day, but they don’t scold you. They just remind you to be careful and they don’t hold it against you.

They are just as happy.

You’re celebrating your very first holiday as family.

Eliza and Jeremiah never liked Christmas. When you were a little girl, you used to see the kids at school getting excited to welcome a strange fat man dressed in all red and you never understood why they were so happy. Eliza used to say that the holiday was a waste of time and that science proved that Santa never existed outside some or another religion.

They never really explained it to you.

You asked Alex (she wasn’t Mama then) all about the celebration and traditions, but she was almost as lost as yourself. “Sorry, lil’ sis,” she used to say when she didn’t know something back then, “I’ll look it up and then I’ll tell you.”

At school the teachers said that gifts and dinner weren’t as important as to be with family. That, that you understood. Winter break meant that Alex was home for a month and that she would spend it with you. But, summer break, spring break and autumn break gave you the chance to see Alex too… so you didn’t understand it then.

Now, now you can grasp it better. Now that you’re older, you understand why certain holidays are special for certain reasons. For you, autumn holiday meant your birthday and seeing Alex. For the rest of your classmates it meant to see noisy relatives and for your teachers it reminded them of the death of several native people.

Winter holiday, with time, grew to be your favourite as it meant to stay inside and cuddle up with Mama for hours, watching cartoons and eating popcorn and drinking hot chocolate. Mama would always gift you something or another, more often than not, she gave you toys that you wanted but Jeremiah said were for babies. Sometimes, when Eliza or Jeremiah were around, winter holiday also meant long hikes into the valleys to let you fly as far and fast as you wanted.

You miss that.

Mama says that she’ll take you and Maggie flying someday soon.

You can’t wait.

Mama gave you and Mom strict instructions not to be back until dinner, even when you’ve just had breakfast and it’s early. She said she needed some ‘me-time’, whatever that means. So, you’re now holding Mom’s hand as you walk the more or less short distance to Robinson Park. Mama wasn’t too happy you’d be walking, but Mom said it was fine. She’s training to be a cop and is in perfect health and you can’t really get sick. So, you’re walking.

“What you wanna do first, sunshine?”

You ponder what Mom tells you. “I want ice-cream,” you tell her honestly.

Mom laughs. “Sunshine, there’s no ice-cream trucks at the park right now.”

You stop walking. Park means ice-cream. “There’s none?!”

Mom tugs at you a little. “No, baby.” She smiles down at you as she starts walking again. “Now that it’s snowed, I don’t think we can get ice-cream that easily.”

You look at her, pretty sure she’s pulling your leg. “Mama gets us ice-cream all year long.”

Mom laughs again. “Mama loves ice-cream as much as you do, Kara, of course she gets you ice-cream all year long.” She smiles, her white teeth showing. “We can get some before we head home, promise. Just, not at the park.”

You look at her, trying to see if she’s honest.

So far, Mom has never lied to you. She’s not like Mama that tell you things that are not true, like broccoli being yummy or like school being fun, and she doesn’t try to protect you by not telling you things… like Mama always does. You’re not dumb (you totally skipped a year at school) and you see when she’s not honest (her heartbeat is fast and her face too pale) but you kinda understand it.

If you had a little one to take care of, you think you’d lie sometimes too.

But Mom looks honest and that calms you. Park really means ice-cream, though, and you’d be very disappointed if you didn’t get to eat some today.

“So, what are we doing first?”

You shrug. You’ve never really gotten the chance to play in a park before Mom came home (yes, when Mama asked Mom to live with you, Mom came _home_ and no one can convince you otherwise), Mama tried once or twice, but parks are not her thing and you learnt to accept that. Mom tries to take you to the park as often as she can, and now that the three of you are finally on break, she’s promised you to take you to the park constantly.

Last night finally snowed and Mom promised you to teach you how to build a snowman and how to do snow angels and that she’ll take you skating someday during the holiday.

You can’t wait.

“Can we build a snowman? Like Frosty?”

Mom smiles down at you. “Of course, sunshine. We can even make him some friends, so he’s not all alone.”

You smile so big your cheeks hurt and you have to check if you’re not floating again.

Shoot. You are.

XxXxX

“Hey, Mom,” you say as you roll the snow as she’s shown you. “What’s Christmas like?”

She pauses rolling her own snowball, looking at you. “Sometimes it’s fun, sometimes, not so much. Really depends on who you’re spending it with… I know this year is going to be a fun one,” she says with a smirk.

You shake your head. You understand that part… mostly. “No, like, what’s like to believe in Santa?”

Mom raises an eyebrow at you. “You never believed in him?” she asks you and you’re grateful she doesn’t try to pretend the man is real.

“No,” you tell her as you check your ball is large enough, but not as large as the one Mom’s making. “Eliza said that it’s a myth and a waste of time.”

“Oh.” She frowns like she sometimes does when something is angering her. “Well, it’s amazing waking up to see what’s under the tree… what Santa brought you.”

You muse at what she says. “Are we getting a tree?”

Maggie shakes her head. “I don’t think so, no. We’re doing dinner and I know I’m giving you a couple of gifts, but I really don’t like having a dead plant inside the house and Mama doesn’t want to storage a fake one… at least not at the moment.”

Disappointment settles on your belly. Somehow you thought that now that you have a family you’d get to celebrate like the other kids. When you came live with Mama, after Eliza and Jeremiah died, neither of you wanted to celebrate, but having Mom around… well, you thought maybe this year was going to be different.

“Oh,” you say, trying really hard not to show her how your good mood has gone down a little. “What are we having for dinner that day?”

Mom smiles at you as she carries her giant snowball to where she said it was the best for the snowman. “Pizza, I guess. I mean, we all love it and I think we can convince Mama to let us get some potstickers too.”

You nod, disappointed. Pizza or potstickers are what you always get when Mama’s too busy to cook. Mama’s really good in the kitchen, but she’s too busy studying and working to cook for you that often. Her being on break made you think your tummy would be happy with all her home-made cooking… but you’re not celebrating the holiday.

Maybe she’s gonna take winter classes again this year and she won’t have time to feed you and Mom.

You really like it when Mama makes you something elaborate, the most elaborate the most flavours you can savour. You specially like her turkey and her cannoli, she does something to the cannoli that the store-bought she gets you doesn't have, but you love.

“Mom,” you say, “I’m hungry.” Thinking about food made you hungry and there’s no ice-cream truck (you kinda looked up its sound at soon as you arrived…. Mom didn’t lie, there’s no truck). But Mama gave Mom your backpack filled with goodies, and, even when you’ve just ate your weight in pancakes, you’re hungry.

Mom laughs. She’s been laughing a lot recently. “Go grab and apple, sunshine, it’s too soon for you to eat more sugar.”

You pout as you do as told, Mom left your backpack near a tree where you’ve hung the hat and scarf your snowman is going to wear. You’ve been hoping she’d let you eat one of the candy bars you saw Mama put away in your bag. An apple will have to do. “Where do I put the snowball?”

Mom is just finishing settling her own snowball in the ground. “Over, here, sunshine. Just put it above this one.”

You nod. It’s good the day is cold and it’s early yet and there’re not too many people around. You float, apple in mouth and the snowball in your arms, letting the snowball fall where Mom said it goes.

Mom sighs. “Sunshine, don’t do that.”

“There’s no people around,” you say, letting the apple fall to the ground. It tastes gross now. And you’re not really that hungry.

“Kara.”

You huff, but let yourself fall back to the ground. You don’t like when Mama or Mom say your name like that.

“Hey, are you okay?”

You shrug and you go work on that third snowball. Suddenly playing in the snow doesn’t seem so fun.

“Hey, hey,” Mom jogs to you, kneeling besides you. “Why the sour face?”

You shrug again, and focus on the snowball. You know what’s bothering you, but you don’t want to share. The snowball is done quickly, your snowman is not as big as you first thought, and you suddenly want to finish it as soon as possible. You carry your snowball to the half-done man, leaving Mom behind, and put it where you think it needs to go.

It doesn’t surprise you when both the balls you made fall to the ground, spilling open.

You kick the snow, frustrated.

“Kara,” Mom’s voice is again stern and you have to fight back tears. Why can’t anything go as you want?

“I don’t want to play in the snow anymore.”

Mom sighs and starts picking up your stuff, apple included. “Come on, Kara.”

You don’t look at her eyes, but let her grab your hand the moment you’re by her side. She starts walking, and you follow her without complaint. You feel tired and not like walking, you want to be picked up, but you know she’s mad and asking her to carry you seems like a bad idea.

She takes you to the main path, but instead of walking towards where you know the park’s gate is, she takes you to a bench and, after cleaning it up, sits in it, lifting you to her lap. “What’s the matter, sunshine?”

You shrug yet again. She’s mad. You don’t want her madder. “Nothing. Just tired.”

“Hey, I know you, baby,” she tells you softly. “Something’s bothering you and I’d like to know what that is.”

You cuddle into her. Her voice doesn’t sound annoyed, or angry… but she’s not happy. You reach to her collar, searching for something to grab, but there’s nothing there. She’s not like Mama, who wears her gemstone all the time. Mom doesn’t have one… does that make her not part of your family?

You settle on playing with her hair. She’s wearing it down today and you love the way she looks like this. When she’s wearing a bun she looks too hard, too mean… you suppose she needs to be if she’s becoming a cop.

“Kara, please, tell me.”

You look up at her and search her eyes. She’s looking down at you, her brow is wrinkled and she’s searching you too. “I want to celebrate Christmas,” you tell her honestly, taking a leap of faith. You don’t know how she’s gonna react to what you say. “This’ the first year I don’t have a broken family and I want to celebrate like the other kids.” She nods, as if telling you to continue. “But I know Mama doesn’t like it and I guess you don’t like it either… so…” You finish with a shrug.

Something sparks in her eyes, like when she’s playing Guess Who? with you and she suddenly realizes what card you have. “You want a tree, dinner and get gifts like all the other kids.” It’s not really a question, so you don’t really answer her.

“It’s okay,” you tell her, biting you lip. It’s not okay but you’re not going to tell her that. “I’m sorry I ruined our day out.”

Mom’s eyes wander to the side, and you know she’s thinking about something, so you cuddle into her again, hiding your face in her neck. Right now you just want to be held.

Mom takes out her phone after a while but you don’t bother to see what she’s doing. You know she’s calling Mama when she starts talking but you’re too disappointed to try and listen in what Mama’s saying.

“Yes, darling, we’re fine. No… no… Kara’s upset… She wants a tree and gifts… yes, I know it was a surprise, but she’s pretty down… Yes, we’re still at the park… Okay… Five minutes? Cool… Love you too.”

Mom’s suddenly up, you still cradled in her arms and she starts walking towards home. You let yourself go boneless, no matter that Mom’s shorter than Mama, she’s stronger and she can carry you one-armed while she carries your backpack over her other shoulder. Right now you just want to go home and cuddle with your moms.

“Sunshine, Kara. Mama and I were planning a surprise for you,” she starts and your heart drops. You’ve been a bad girl today and surely the surprise is now a no. “We wanted you to arrive home tonight and see the tree Mama was going to get you. We wanted you to see the house all decorated and the gifts wrapped… but you’re too sad now, so Mama’s going to get us and we’re all going tree shopping. Okay?”

You perk up immediately. They were going to surprise you with Christmas. They are going to give you Christmas this year.

They didn’t considered not celebrating.

They were really giving your first family holiday.

“Also, as for dinner, Alex said something about you really, really liking cannoli… so we’re having that and turkey and whatever else you want her to make.”

Your smile becomes a grin and you wonder why you thought, even for a second, that the two people that loves you the most could let you down.

XxXxX

Tree shopping was fun. You were still a little sad after believing you wouldn’t celebrate Christmas, so Mama carried you around most of the time. It amazed you that there were many trees to choose from and you let Mama and Mom pick the tree from all the choices you had… Mom is the only one with any Christmas experience and Mama was buying it in the first place. You are just happy you get to have a tree.

Christmas balls and ornaments were the next thing you bought. Your moms let you decide what colour you wanted the tree to be this year and, after some serious consideration, you chose purple and something Mom labelled periwinkle. It sounds gross, but it’s a nice blue you really liked. So, they let you get all kind of stuff for the tree and they even let you choose a star to put at the very top and the paper your gifts are going to be wrapped in – the star is red and it reminds you of Rao, the only thing you can still picture from before you came to Earth, and the paper is purple for your gifts, blue for Mom’s and red for Mama’s, to match your tree.

By the time you are helping them drag all the things all the way up to your apartment, you are too tired. You got lunch at one of your favourite Japanese restaurants a little while ago, but even the tempura and ramen are doing little to keep your eyes totally open.

Mama chuckles as she sees you fighting with your eyelids. ~ _Hey, baby,~_ she tells you softly as she grabs the lasts of the bags from your hands. _~Why don’t you take a nap, hum?~_

You shake your head violently. You want to help put everything together. You want to help decide where you’re building the plastic tree (Mom really didn’t want a dead plant inside the house) and you want to help decide what Mama is cooking tonight… but you’re tired and you don’t understand why.

Mom and Mama share one of those looks they always share but you don’t understand it, yet. One day you’ll crack what it means. Mama gives Mom the bags and picks you up. You don’t protest, you’ve been in Mama’s arms most of the day and, really, you love it, so you won’t be getting fussy.

~ _Come, on, baby,_ ~ Mama tells you. ~ _You had a rough morning, so, you and I are going to lie down for a little bit.~_

Now, you get fussy. You want to help and Mama’s making it difficult to stay awake. She’s rocking you like she does when you’re having trouble sleeping and it’s not _fair_. ~ _Mama, no!~_ you whine as you try to be put down, wiggling and pushing.

~ _Hey, Kara, easy,~_ Mama scolds you, gently. ~ _I promise Mom and I will wait for you to put everything up. But, right now, you need to rest for a couple of hours.~_

That calms you down, but, still, you don’t want to sleep. ~ _Mama, don’t wanna._ ~ You wiggle a little bit more, but you’re in your room now and Mama has closed the door and you no longer can hear Mom in the living room and Mama’s still rocking you and, really, you wanna lie down.

Mama smiles. ~ _It’s not up for discussion, baby. You’re taking a nap.~_

You whimper, protesting, but you’re tired and Mama is now laying you on the bed and changing your clothes. She puts on you your comfy pants and your unicorn shirt and she’s sitting you up and she’s braiding your hair and Mom’s suddenly in the doorway, a tall glass of milk in her hand.

~ _Here, sunshine,~_ Mom says as she gives you the glass. You don’t protest as you drink it, slowly. The milk is warm and your eyes are closing, and Mama’s taking the glass and Mama’s tucking you in as Mom caress your head and you feel heavy and warm. ~ _Sleep tight, sunshine.~_ Mom kisses your forehead, before grabbing your mostly empty glass.

Mom leaves as Mama climbs into bed with you and you cuddle into her, playing with her gemstone as you relax. She embraces you as she hums, softly, the lullaby you learnt together. You know she’s leaving to make dinner as soon as you’re asleep, as she used to do when you were little, but you want to ask her something before you really close your eyes. ~ _Mama_?~

“Hmm?”

~ _Can we get Mom a gemstone, too?~_

You don’t see it, Mama’s fingers start caressing your brow, forcing your eyes closed, but you know she’s smiling by the way her soft voice wrap around the words. ~ _Way ahead of you, baby,~_ she whispers. ~ _I was just done picking up your Mom’s gemstone when she called me. When you wake up, you can see it.~_

You sigh happily.

Good. Mom’s having a gemstone too. ~ _Are you giving it to her for Christmas?~_

_~ **We** are giving it to her whenever you want. It took the jeweller too long to make it, otherwise, she’d have it a lot sooner.~_

_~After dinner?~_

_~If that’s what you want.~_

You nod and you let sleep claim you, your Mama’s finger still playing over your brow.

~ _I’m sorry we hid things for you, Kara. We shouldn’t have lied.~_

_~Love you, Mama.~_

_~Love **you** , baby girl.~_

You’re happy.

You’re calm.

You’re home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing as a 11-years-old was hard... fun, but hard.
> 
> As always, prompts are welcome in any form, shape and media.


	11. Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know you’re missing something, something important, but you also know that whatever that is, you’re supposed to know and maybe you did something and you totally missed something and now your girls are off.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one year anniversary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to @reinakonanofate that accepted to be the whip behind this thing! She's beta'ing my sorry ass and I humbly say thanks for taking the time to help me perfect this story... and to make me focus on it when my mind wanders.
> 
> Go say hi to her, people!
> 
> (Also, go bother her to bother me if you think I'm slacking XP)

Something is bothering your girls, and you don’t know what it is.

Christmas is around the corner and Alex and you’ve been dedicating most of your time to Kara, making sure she’s happy and her first family holiday is filled with good memories and adventures. But, this morning, Kara declined your invitation to go play in the snow and instead holed up in her room.

Alex fares no better. Your girlfriend has been spending most of the day going over the work she was not supposed to touch until January, but, as you know something is off, you haven’t confronted her, yet.

You know you’re missing something, something important, but you also know that whatever that is, you’re supposed to know and maybe you did something and you totally missed something and now your girls are _off_.

You spent the early morning in the gym after making sure neither of girls wanted you around ( _Go ahead, babe, I’ll be here when you come back. Yes, Maggie, I’m **fine**. Just go, Mags. **Go.** )_ and the rest of the morning, trying to beat Kara’s records… for such a young padawan, she’s a quick study and beat all your scores in the games she’s allowed to touch.

After lunch (Alex stopped working to feed you both, but she returned to her work as soon as the food was done, not even eating with you) Kara joined you, but instead of playing with you like she always does when you’re racing, she’s just hugging Krypto, fiddling with it, cuddled into your side and looking miserable.

 _~Hey, sunshine_ ,~ you call to her when it’s obvious neither Danvers girls is going to offer you more than a couple of words today, ~ _can you tell me what’s bothering you_?~

You can see Kara looking up at you from the corner of your eye. Your focus is on your girl, but you’re still struggling with a stupid race course Kara managed to defeat unassisted. Kara’s brow shows her confusion for a second, before something like panic? chases it away and the kid schools it in an impassive face… or at least as impassive as she can make it. Whatever that minute expression was, it was a bad one, because Kara’s thumb is now caressing her lower lip and you know she’s battling with herself not to start sucking on it.

And you’re suddenly more worried and you think you may panic because Kara hasn’t sucked her thumb while awake in almost a month, ever since the fateful days after you kicked Superman out your home. Kara hasn’t felt the need to do so and Alex and you are mostly certain Kara will stop sucking her thumb at night soon too… In fact, she hasn’t climbed into bed with you for a while… until last night.

You’re going to be a detective… how did you miss that?

You turn to see your girl, a question in your throat, faintly aware how your car is still advancing and how it goes overboard and crash in the deeps that surround the path you were supposed to follow.

What you’re completely aware of, though, is how Kara jumps when the car crashes and how her thumb is instantly in her mouth.

And then, it dawns on you.

When the _car crashed._

_(Last winter… she was in the car with my parents. A truck hit them and sent them over a cliff… It’s the second time she survives a tragedy._

_… and your parents?_

_Mom died on impact. Dad took a week in the hospital. Kara got a broken arm and bruised ribs, nothing major, but it was the second time she sees something so terrible. She’s still putting herself back together.)_

Alex was wrong then. Kara hadn’t been the only one struggling.

 _They_ are still putting themselves together.

How could you be so stupid?

You gather your daughter in your arms and start rocking back and forth. ~ _I’m sorry, sunshine. I didn’t know._ ~

Kara hides her face in your neck, her nose rubbing slightly on your collar and you have to smile when Kara’s unoccupied hand reaches for your new gemstone. When Kara and Alex presented you the small jewellery box, your heart stopped. Had it been Alex the one to give it you, you’d thought that she beat you to the punch and she was going to propose… but no, it had been Kara the one to give you the way too small box and, when you opened it not only did your heart skipped another beat, air left your lungs. The gemstone and necklace are, literally, the carbon copy of the ones Alex and Kara wear all the time.

You haven’t taken it off ever since they gave it to you and you plan on never doing so.

You don’t force your girl to talk. You don’t even talk yourself after apologizing, you just keep rocking her as you feel hot tears start soaking your shirt. Kara doesn’t sob like she does when she’s distressed, nor she really sniffles, but you know she’s crying with all her might, her slight frame shaking ever so slightly and you wonder, why didn’t Alex tell you?

And why, oh why, your heart aches in disappointment?

XxXxX

Kara falls asleep an hour later and you waste no time to change her out her jeans and into her pyjamas and tuck her into your bed, leaving the door cracked open for when she wakes.  You know, without a doubt, that the girl will wake up crying and demanding to be held.

But, as Kara sleeps, you need to talk to Alex.

She’s still where she’s been hiding the day away, in her study, surrounded by papers and books.

It amazed you how Alex can afford such a big apartment when she’s just a Ph.D. student until you learned she’s still cashing her parents’ royalties and that the school is actually paying her to study in its halls while she keeps inventing her own substances and tools. The name Danvers was not strange for you, everyone that knows about alien studies has heard the name at least once… the late Danvers’ studies and inventions are well known by those interested in the subject.

So, no, Alex is not just a Ph.D. student. She’s rich by heritage and she’s also making a name on her own with her research while taking care of an eleven-years-old. She’s a genius and she’s taking on the world with her brain.

But, now looking at her, her hair messy and her glasses on, her shirt rumpled and dark circles under her eyes, you can’t help but notice how young she really is. You know you are a couple of years older than her, and you know she still has a year to go before finishing school while you’re going to enter your last semester and graduate both school and the Academy next spring, but, you never really considered that she really is _young_.

And, somehow, knowing this precious, rare stone is yours, that this intelligent, brave being choosing you, no matter she’s young and she hasn’t have the chance to have a life of her own, chose you… it makes you love her all the more.

Even when her silence hurt you.

“Alex, love,” you call to her, softly, well aware at how she’s jumpy when she’s focused on her things.

Alex looks up at you, a little startled, but at least she wasn’t frightened. “Hey, babe.” She blinks. “I’ll make lunch in a bit.”

You sigh and enter her study, careful not to step into any of the loose papers that always scattered all over the place. “Darling,” you say as you approach her. “You made lunch a while ago.”

Alex blinks to you, again, before realization crosses her face. “Oh, yes, when you got back from the park.”

You pause at her side, a hand resting on her shoulder. You should be concerned she’s this out of sorts, but she was the same way when she sat her finals, so, no, you are not concerned… at least not _that_ much. “Alex, we didn’t go to the park.”

Alex’s fogginess leaves at that. “What? Kara went out with you.”

You shake your head. “No, love. Kara stayed in her room for most of the morning. I went to the gym. I told you that.”

Alex’s cheeks turn a little pink and you have to fight the smile that you know will do nothing to help the situation. “Oh,” she says. “I guess I missed that.”

“Yes, love, you did,” you tell her kindly, not sure how to approach the subject you want to discuss. “Alex,” you hesitate, “we need to talk.”

Your girlfriend is suddenly too alert, too panicky. “What happened?” she asks. “Is Kara alright?”

You nod. “Yes, love, she’s asleep right now… she kinda cried herself to sleep.”

And, just like that, Alex’s panic turns to sorrow. “You know.” It’s not a question and so you don’t answer, but the defeated look she’s giving you makes your heart ache.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Alex shrugs. Alex lowers her eyes. Alex turns in her swivel chair so she’s facing you completely. Alex takes your hand and tugs. Alex forces you onto her lap and she hides her face in your shoulder. “I really don’t like talking about it.”

You sigh again as you embrace her as best as you can. “Talking helps with the pain,” you tell her, gently.

From whatever you expected, tears, sobs, shaking, an unamused snort is not it. Alex chuckles, mirthlessly, and you start to get worried again. “I’m not hurting,” she informs you quietly.

You sigh yet again. “Alex, I understand. You now my Pop is gone and I miss him very much. But, he’s been gone for a long while now. You don’t stop missing them, but the pain lessens. I promise. Talking really helps.”

Alex shakes her head against your shoulder. “No, Maggie, you don’t understand,” she insists. “I’m really not hurting.”

“Alex, darling, you don’t need to be strong. It’s ok-”

“No, Mags,” she cuts you off as she looks at you. Her eyes are brimming with tears and you want to call her liar because what you see in her hazel eyes is pain. “You really don’t understand.”

“Al-”

“No, Maggie. No.” She bites her lip as a tear runs down her cheek and she avoids your gaze. “I’m not hurting. I- I don’t miss them. I, really, really, don’t miss them.” She hides again in your shoulder, soft sobs finally leaving her. “I never cared for th-them enough to miss them and, Rao, I-I know they were my parents, I know they were the re-reason we have a daughter, I know th-they loved me, I know they died horribly, I know I sh-should be upset, I know it, Maggie, but I-I don’t feel it. I am so glad they ga-gave me Kara, Maggie, but I’m a horrible human, be-because I’m so glad they’re gone… and that ki-kills me. I should be pained, I should fe-feel sad… but I’m not… I-I can’t. I can’t.”

“… Alex…” You don’t know what to say. You never thought she could feel this way.

Thinking back, she’s not wrong. From what little she’s told you about them, her parents were mostly neglectful and, yes, you don’t understand but you kind of get it. Your parents dotted on you, you’re the baby of five and they loved you as such, but when you came out the closet when your dad closed off and your sister Mary became aggressive, you felt the distance between you and them so keenly. Your dad died when you were eighteen and you miss him, but you won’t lie and say that visiting your mom isn’t easier now that he’s not around.

“… I-I know. I’m terrible!” Alex sobs out. “I know, I-I know…”

“No. No. No, Ally, no.” You kiss her temple. “Never, my love, no… you’re amazing, Ally. Whatever you’re feeling, love, it’s okay, it’s okay.”

“B-but… they’re my parents…”

You smile, sadly. “Yes, they were, but that doesn’t mean you have to mourn them,” you tell her as honestly as you can. “You don’t have to love them.”

Alex looks up to you. Her face is blotchy and her nose is running just a bit and you’ve never seen something more beautiful. “But I loved them,” she tells you, honestly.

“And that’s perfectly fine, Ally. Just like it is fine if you don’t miss them.”

“Does that mean that I can not miss them too?” Kara’s small voice calls you from the doorway and Alex jumps ever so lightly while you barely contain a surprised squeal.

Alex quickly rubs at her eyes and clean her nose with her cuff. “Baby, how long have you been up?” she asks her, breathlessly, trying to reign in her tears.

Kara’s brow crinkles, contemplating, and she looks at you on Alex’s lap. This is not the first time Kara’s seen you sitting sideways over your girlfriend’s legs, so you don’t know what’s bothering her. She answers you unspoken question when she floats to you and flops onto your own lap, practically sandwiching you between your girls. “You said Mama doesn’t have to miss Eliza and Jeremiah,” she states.

You feel Alex tense under you, but you don’t lie to Kara. You never lie to Kara. “Yes, sunshine, I said that.”

Kara nods, but she’s silent for a moment before turning to Alex. “I think Mom’s right,” she tells your girlfriend without hesitation. “I don’t miss my birth parents either… and I don’t miss Eliza and Jeremiah.”

Alex’s breath hitches, you can feel it, and you know she wants to start crying again but she’s holding herself back. “Baby…”

Kara shakes her head, her wild hair flying everywhere. “No. Mom’s right. Mama, you can’t miss who’s not there. I don’t miss my birth parents because I don’t remember them. I don’t have good memories to remember, so I don’t miss them,” she informs her with her no-nonsense logic, the one she uses to get her way when she wants something. “I don’t have _that_ many good memories with Eliza and Jeremiah, either, so I can’t miss them that much. I just thought I had to miss them.” She finishes with a shrug.

“You-you don’t miss them?” Alex asks, confused.

“No.” Kara shakes her head again, before snuggling into your chest. “I’m sad you’re sad, and I got scared a little bit earlier, but I don’t miss them. Not much.”

“Not much?” you ask. Because, right now, your daughter is sounding a little too put together and you’re weary of that.

Kara starts playing with your gemstone, not really looking at either of you and you know she’s been lying, if even a little. “I… I miss them, sometimes, but when I’m with you or Mama, I don’t,” she looks up and you see her eyes blurring a little. Alex's hand comes to rest on Kara’s back and you don’t need to turn to know your girlfriend is crying again. “I used to miss Mama all the time when she was not around. But, when I’m with you… I-I forget them… is that bad?”

You sigh. “No, sunshine. You can miss people or you can’t miss people. You can miss them all the time or just for a little while. Whatever you’re feeling, is valid, love. Whatever either of you is feeling, is valid.”

You turn to Alex and kiss her temple, cradling Kara to you. “You can be glad they’re gone, love, just like Kara can sometimes forget them. Just like I can feel relieved when I think Pop’s not there when I visit Mom. We can feel, my beautiful love, we can feel.”

And, just like that, both your girls are sobbing fat, sad tears and are leaning into you.

And you smile sadly, because both your girls try to be so tough all the time. They try to be unaffected, they try to brush off their feelings. They try to be so mature and they feel so guilty when they don’t act normal. They both don’t know how to feel and simply _feel_. They both need to play the roles that were meant for them, and they both don’t know how to relax.

Or at least, they didn’t know until you came along.

“M-Mom,” Kara whimpers. “Mom.”

“Shh, my beautiful baby, shh. We’re here. Mama’s here. I’m here.”

“M-Maggie,” Alex sobs out. “Never l-leave us, never.”

And you sigh and you try to embrace them closer to you.

And you close your eyes, feeling the love all around you.

And you feel your heart ache.

And you feel your heart fill.

And you shed a tear for them.

And you raise a silent prayer to Rao, your new god, to let them rest their souls.

And you thank Rao, for letting you meet them.

For protecting them.

For looking over them.

For letting them love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No... it wasn't that kind of anniversary... sorry.


	12. Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re not really sure how this happened.
> 
> One moment you’re finishing up an experiment at the lab and the next Susan is calling you to tell you that you have reservations for dinner on Friday. A quick text message later confirms you that Maggie wasn’t aware of that fact, either, but that she too had received instructions to be free that night.
> 
> Apparently, a little girl decided you two needed a night out and she made it her job to force you out… enlisting Susan’s help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to @reinakonanofate that's holdin' the whip to make mee focus. She's become my sounding board in such short time and I'm honoured to be working with her. She's helping me construct this story as we go and she helps me with my doubts. 
> 
> So thanks!!!!
> 
> Go say hi to her, people!
> 
> (Also, go bother her to bother me if you think I'm slacking XP)

You’re not really sure how this happened.

One moment you’re finishing up an experiment at the lab and the next Susan is calling you to tell you that you have reservations for dinner on Friday. A quick text message later confirms you that Maggie wasn’t aware of that fact, either, but that she too had received instructions to be free that night.

Apparently, a little girl decided you two needed a night out and she made it her job to force you out… enlisting Susan’s help.

Susan wasn’t too forthcoming with information, but you’re not too surprised. Kara’s been hinting you’re spending too much time inside and that, _aren’t couples supposed to date? Why are you and Mom all the time here?_ and, well, truthfully, neither Maggie or you feel the need to go out. Watching a movie while cuddling after Kara is put to bed is enough for your date nights and, while you are no prude, you won’t be lying if you say that falling asleep in Maggie’s arms is far better than a long night having sex. Yes, you love sex, but sex isn’t everything and you’ve learned that the hard way.

Commitment and love are what makes you happy and, after discussing it with Maggie, you know your girlfriend feels the same way.

Yes, you love sex, and you have it fairly regularly, but as long as Kara’s door is closed, you don’t need to head out to have it.

You don’t _need_ to date out. Having Maggie living with you feels like a never ending date, to be honest.

So, you’re now getting ready in your _fancy clothes_ , Kara’s words, not yours, with Maggie beside you on the bathroom sink, applying slightly more mascara than usual to her big, expressive eyes.

“Any idea where are we going?” Maggie asks you.

You shrug. Really, you haven’t really thought about your date night since Wednesday, when Susan called. You know you were told to dress nice and to be ready by seven.

You also have instructions not to be back before midnight that night.

Susan is with Kara right now, playing in Maggie’s beaten Xbox and Kara was adamant that she stayed over Susan’s house tonight and you’d be lying if that doesn’t bother you. Kara hasn’t really spent the night over at anyone’s house. When you used to date Maggie, way before she met Kara, you always picked her up before her bedtime and later, when Maggie was aware of your girl’s needs, you started having daytime dates.

Kara hasn’t had a nightmare in over a month now and you’re confident she won’t be having one tonight, but you still worry.

“I have no idea,” you tell Maggie honestly. “Think she’s sending us to Yok Yor?”

Maggie and you chuckle. Yok Yor is Kara’s favourite Thai place. The staff there is not noisy and let the girl eat a lot of whatever catches her eyes at the moment. It’s not cheap, have no delivery and it’s a bit of a drive to get there, so you don’t really frequent the place. It’d be strange for Kara to send you there, though, when she told you needed to dress to impress.

“Mama! Mom!” Kara is suddenly running inside your bathroom. “Su says the car’s almost here. You ready?”

You look at the girl who stopped just mere inches from colliding with Maggie and you smile. Your girlfriend and you were not as hyped as your daughter. You two decided to play along just to humour the girl (really, what wrong could Kara do with Susan’s supervision?) but you don’t really feel the excitement Kara’s sporting.

“I’m ready,” you announce as Maggie nods.

Kara looks at you and you can see how much she wants to throw herself into your arms, but she’s holding back. She’s floating and she’s grinning too much. Way too much.

Maggie beats you to the punch. “Hey, sunshine, did Vasquez give you too much chocolate again _?”_ She asks fondly as she picks the girl up from mid-air.

Kara shakes her head, but cuddles into her Mom. “Nope _,_ ” she actually pops the ‘p’. “I’m just happy you’re dating again.”

You go to the two women you love the most and leave a kiss to Kara’s cheek. “Baby, we’ve been dating for _months.”_

Kara’s brow crinkles, puzzled. “You’re not dating… you’re _together.”_

You chuckle as Maggie leaves a kiss to her forehead. “Yes, sunshine, we’re together, but that doesn’t mean we stopped dating. That just mean, well, that we’re together.”

Kara’s brow doesn’t smooth, in fact, she just looks more confused. “Is that one of those things I’ll get when I’m older?” she asks.

You chuckle again. “Yes, baby, it’s one of those things.”

Kara shrugs and wiggles to be put down. “Adults are weird,” she states as exits the bathroom. “Hurry up! The car is almost here!”

Maggie and you exchange a chuckle. “Our kid is bonkers,” your girlfriend states.

“Yes, she is.”

“We still love her, though.”

“Yes, we do.”

XxXxX

The ride to the restaurant is a quiet one. The driver is under strict orders not to tell you where he’s taking you, no matter how many times you ask and you know it’s sorely because Kara had taken a few minutes to talk to him and pout at him that he hasn’t caved. Your kid’s pout is way too powerful and you wonder if it’s her Kryptonian condition that allows her to wrap people around her little finger or it’s simply a Kara thing.

“So,” you tell Maggie softly as you snuggle deeper into her side. It’s cold and the heater in the car is doing little to chase your chill away, “how long until we arrive?” You look at the clock in the dashboard and notice that you’ve been in the car for at least twenty minutes. Kara really wanted you out after midnight.

“I don’t know… probably another ten minutes?” she says, her arm tightening around your shoulders, as you look out the window. You don’t know the city as well as Maggie, but you identify Wayne Tower’s outline among the light snow that’s falling. “We’re heading into Tricorner.”

You hum. The silence is nice and you have no desire to break it after that. You don’t know what’s in Tricorner, but Maggie doesn’t look worried, so you won’t be either.

After the ten minutes Maggie promised, the car is pulling up to the curb and you grumble when Maggie let go of you so she can open the door and help you out the car. She’s the perfect gentlewoman as she give you her hand and you can’t help but smirk at how handsome you two probably look and at how there’s a couple that’s actually staring at you two.

You’re wearing your newest dress under your long coat, a red long dress that you got for that GU conference all those months ago, but Maggie, Maggie’s wearing an honest to Rao suit that fits her in all the right places and a jacket that makes her look so… so… and makes your mouth water. It’s not a tux (and you swoon at how she’d look in a tux) but it’s certainly something you’ve been wanting to peel off from her body since you saw her.

But, dinner first.

“She didn’t,” Maggie breathless statement pulls you out your thoughts.

You turn to look at where she’s looking and you feel your mouth drop. Because, somehow, she did.

Somehow, the half-hour ride took you to Maggiano’s, the most expensive, exclusive and all together fanciest restaurant in all Gotham City.

Now you understand why you needed to dress nicely.

“How did she…?” Maggie asks the question you’re thinking.

“I don’t know,” you answer her honestly. “I heard reservations for this place are done months in advance.”

“She’s pulling our legs,” Maggie concludes.

At that moment, a series of chimes coming from your purse make you check your phone. Susan texted you:

‘ _Yes, you’re at Maggiano’s.’_

_‘No, it’s not a mistake.’_

_‘Yes, we’re serious.’_

_‘No, I’m not crazy.’_

A beat, and then, one more text:

_‘Table’s under Danvers-Sawyer.’_

You frown and you feel Maggie reading at your side. “How did she know we’re here?” she asks, suspiciously as she looks around, observing the people.

Maggie’s phone is the one that chimes this time:

‘ _The driver texted us… we’re not spying on you.’_

Maggie shows you the last text, before grabbing both your hands, forcing you to pay her your most attention. She looks at your eyes and you can see how serious she is, by how her brow wrinkles, not too different to how Kara’s crinkles. “Alex, have I ever told you Vasquez scares me?”

And you laugh, because this whole situation is ridiculous and somehow your baby managed to score a reservation many would die for and somehow your best friend is psychic and somehow you’re falling deeper in love with this dork that calls herself your girlfriend.

“I promise she won’t hurt you,” you tell her fondly as your hand comes to rest on her cheek. “Come on, let’s see if she isn’t lying.”

Your phone chimes yet again and you both pause to read whatever came last:

_‘I’m not lying. But, seriously, go inside already. That reservation will be cancelled if you’re late, y’know?’_

“Um…” You’re not really sure what to say, to be honest, so you just let Maggie drag you inside the establishment and towards the maître d’. The interior is way too fancy and you have the sudden urge to run away, because, really, if you so much as scratch the floor you’d be indebted to the restaurant for life.

You two shed your outer clothes and hand them to a helpful woman that’s waiting for you to do just that. This place is too strange. You grew up in a small village, mostly, and formal settings were never explained to you. You’ve managed to get by, but, right now you don’t think you’re ready for this.

“Good night,” the skinny man says in a nasty fake French accent as he looks down on you both. Maggie’s still holding your hand and for a moment you fear he’s gonna throw you out. “Name?”

Maggie smiles at the man, all charm, and venom. “Danvers-Sawyer.”

The man’s face lights in recognition. “Oh, yes,” he says, his voice a little more upbeat and a lot friendlier. “Please, follow me.”

Maggie looks at you but you just shrug. Really, it’s not like this night is not strange already.

You follow the man all across the spacious floor to a section that’s separated from the rest by an opaque glass wall. In there, there’re a handful of tables, most that are already occupied by couples in different states of intimacy, you can almost swear one man is doing more than holding hands under the table with his date.

There’s a small card on one of the two unoccupied tables and you’re surprised to feel your heart skip when you read the elegant script indicating that’s the Danvers-Sawyer table.

You wonder how it’d be to sign under that name someday.

“Ladies,” the maître d’ pulls the chair closer to you and you sit, allowing him to help you before he goes to assist Maggie. Once you’re both comfortable, he stands to the side and announces, “tonight’s dinner was ordered in anticipation. Would you like us to start with the appetizers or would you rather have a drink first?”

Maggie and you exchange a confused look, not really sure how long you’re going to go blind this night. “Food?” you ask Maggie, sure you’re not drinking anything heavier than wine but not sure she’s thinking the same.

Maggie nods once. She turns to the man and says as politely as she can while still a little shocked. “The appetizers would be fine, thank you.”

He nods back before leaving you to your own devices.

“What the hell is Kara planning?” Maggie asks you, baffled.

And her face is so priceless that you can’t help but exclaim, “jar!”

XxXxX

“Oh. My. Rao,” you can’t help but moan as the cream hits your tongue. Maggie chuckles as she steals a forkful of your tiramisu slice, even when she already ate two on her own, and her eyes close with pleasure.

“Oh… it’s good,” she says dreamily.

You smile at your girlfriend as lightness spreads all inside you. Susan sent a text about an hour ago, informing you Kara was asleep and that she was resting peacefully and you’re spending your very first late night out with the woman you love.

Nothing can be more perfect.

“What?” Maggie asks, confused and you realize that you’ve been staring at her for a long moment.

“Rao, I love you…” you can’t help but whisper.

Maggie smiles brightly, her dimples in full display. “I love you too, darling.”

“Ladies,” the maître d’ interrupts your tender moment. “Would you like more wine?”

You shake your head, “not for me, thank you.”

Maggie never turns to face the man, her eyes are glued to you and you can feel the heat from her stare in your bones. “No, thank you,” she tells him. “Can we bother you with the check, please?”

The man bows lightly. “The bill is settled, ma’am,” he says.

Maggie’s lustful eyes are suddenly gone, replaced with surprise. She turns now to the man and frowns. “What do you mean?”

“The food was paid in advance, ma’am.”

You blink, utterly confused.

Maggie’s not faring any better.

“Paid in advance,” your girlfriend says, and you can see she’s already planning on getting to the bottom of this date.

This is grander than Kara trying to send you both out and you know you had to be suspicious since you got reservations at Maggiano’s… somehow you thought Susan had more to do with the reservation than Kara, but you know Susan could never afford the two people, an eight-course meal you just had.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

You share yet another look with Maggie and you both silently decide it’s time to go home. “Then I guess we’ll be leaving.”

The man nods once more, gesturing for one of the waiters to start cleaning your table. “Please, allow me to inform your driver you’re ready to go.”

Maggie mouths at you something that you believe is ‘ _our driver?’_ and you really can’t say you aren’t as baffled as she’s right now. This night really is just weird.

 “Thank you,” Maggie says as graciously as she can while the maître d’ helps her with her chair. “We’d appreciate it.”

A quick hand gesture and you can see another of the waiters heading out the restaurant… to presumably inform the driver you’re ready to leave.

… weren’t the rented car and driver just driving you to the restaurant before heading to wherever cars and drivers go when not driving people around?

Maggie and you are out the restaurant and soon in the car, a car that was waiting for you even before Maggie helped you with your coat. The car is the same, the driver is the same and you wonder if he has been waiting for you for the last – you look at the clock in the dashboard again – three hours.

Have you really just wasted three hours of your life in a posh restaurant eating the most delicious food you could ever get?

Yes, you have and you don’t regret it.

Maggie’s at your side, prompting you to snuggle against her and you comply without thinking. “We need to pay Susan back,” she tells you and you nod against her.

“Yes,” you say. “I don’t know where she got the money from, but I know she couldn’t have afforded it without selling her liver.”

Maggie hums. “Remind me what does she does for a living?”

“She’s just studying right now. She tried the CIA, but couldn’t complete the initial training, so she got enrolled to get her Ph.D.”

“And where does she gets her money?” Maggie asks you confused.

“She’s got a sponsor, just like me.”

Maggie nods. Sponsors are a big thing in Gotham University. If you show promise, the school might even kidnap you just to have you studying and investigating in its halls, all with the help of sponsors. Sponsors lived around the globe and were rich beyond measure, but they all attended GU at one time of another or their parents did and so they still support the school.

Sponsors also usually have a job waiting for you at their companies and pay for your education in exchange for a couple of years of paid service… it’s not a bad exchange when you consider GU is one of the most expensive schools around.

Maggie doesn’t have a sponsor, but her enrollment at the Academy lets her study without selling her own liver.

“CIA, uh?” Maggie asks you in that suspicious tone she gets when she’s onto something.

You roll your eyes but snuggle deeper against her. “Stop with the conspiracy theories,” you command her as you hand smacks her stomach lightly. “I’ve known her for years and she’s never been shady.”

Just like Maggie met her best friend at military summer camp, you met Susan six years ago when you attended a week long convention one winter and kept running into her in symposiums, conferences, and short summer internships. You two run in the same circles and she’s been your best friend even when distance made you see each other only twice a year.

So, when the chance to attend Gotham University presented itself, you thought it could be nice to be near Susan for longer than a fortnight, but wasn’t too convinced. It was only after your parents’ deaths and Kara’s PTSD that you decided that Gotham presented the chance to start over and be near the only person in the whole world that cared about you as a person.

It amazes you how Susan and you never attempted dating. You know she’s asexual but you also know she’s been in two lasting relationships, one with a man and one with a woman, before and it baffles you that you really never saw her like anything other than your very best friend.

“Hey, pretty head,” Maggie calls to you softly, “I can hear your thoughts swirling… what are you thinking about?”

You smirk as you turn just face just _so,_ that Maggie can’t see your expression. “I’m thinking how I never tried dating Susan.”

Maggie startles at that, just like you predicted. “What?”

You shrug, still hiding your smirk while at the same time making your voice as truthful as possible. “I mean, she certainly knows how to treat a girl… I was just thinking how dumb I was to not give it a try before… you think she might take me now?”

You feel your girlfriend tense for some seconds before her fingers are assaulting your sides. “You, asshole!” she exclaims. “For a moment I thought you were serious!”

You shriek, Maggie’s fingers knowing where to torture you the best. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” you exclaim as you try to wiggle away. The back of the car is spacious, but it certainly doesn’t offer you anyway to escape her. “I’m sorry!”

Maggie huffs and doesn’t let you rest. “No. You don’t get to be sorry until you are _sorry._ ”

“What- What kind of – hahaha- dumb s-statement – hahaha – is that?”

“The one that’ll make you suffer!”

“Noooooo…” You can’t help but marvel at how Maggie is giving you her serious, I’m-a-cop-what’s-the-matter, face as she tickles you. She knows where to torture you the best and right now she’s not ashamed to do so, even when there’s an unknown man just an arm away.

“Alex!” Maggie exclaims when one of your hands spams and hit her in the chest. She stops tickling you and starts rubbing the spot you so ungraciously groped.

“Your fault!” you say as you try to control your breathing.

“My fault?!” she asks offended. “You’re the one that brought another woman into the relationship.”

You gasp, mock offended. “Does that mean you’re not interested in a threesome?”

The glare she levers you with is so amusing you can’t help but laugh again. “Not funny, Alex.”

You try to control your laughter, you really do. “It is.”

A small smirk starts to blossom in Maggie’s face and before you know it, she’s laughing too. “Yeah, it is.”

You laugh for a long moment. Each time one of you stop a look to the other would start the whole process again. Maybe you drank much more wine than you thought because the lightness in your heart and head is too pleasant to not be alcohol.

“Ladies,” the driver calls to you and it takes you a second to notice that the car has stopped. “We’re here.”

Uh, that was fast.

Maggie is again the first to exit and she helps you out the car. You’re about to thank the driver for his services when Maggie tugs at your hand slightly. “Sorry, but,” she tells the driver. “We’re at the wrong address.”

You look around and realize that, yes, you’re far from home and that you’re in front of an elegant looking hotel. People dressed elegantly is coming and going all around you and you see with surprise that more than a couple are same-sex. The street is quiet for the amount of people you’re seeing, but you can see that the street is busy and suddenly you feel self-conscious. “Uh…”

The driver is then next to you, handing Maggie a card. “My instructions were to bring you here, ma’am.” He bows. “I took the liberty to check you in and bring your suitcase upstairs while you were in the restaurant.”

Maggie and you share what appears to be the hundredth look of the night and Maggie accepts the card without further prompting. “Thank you,” she tells the driver honestly and totally baffled.

“Ma'ams,” he bows to Maggie and then to you. “Have a good night.”

“Vasquez is in deep trouble,” Maggie informs you the moment the car is gone.

“I don’t think this was Susan…”

Maggie looks at you strangely. “Kara couldn’t come up with this on her own.” She looks around nodding back quietly to a man that nodded to her in greeting before disappearing into the hotel. “’Sides, Kara’s couldn’t pay for this.”

You want to call her bluff, you really do, Kara can be sneaky when she wants and, truthfully, she’s been behaving like an angel since Maggie came along, but… she’s Kara. She’s a little imp and you could say this is something she might’ve done. When she was six she convinced her babysitters (your parents used to have more than two sitters at the time, mostly because your grandmother had died by then) to buy her food from seven different places constantly under the promise you were paying them back as soon as you got back from college.

You ended up paying the sitters, double your monthly allowance in a setting and had to resort to using some of your gran’s inheritance to pay one of them back… how in the world Kara managed to get that debt is still beyond you.

So… really, right now you’re just worried about which credit card she stole to pay for everything, or if she did things ‘right’ how much you owe Susan.

Still, the restaurant was nice and you know the hotel would be too and, frankly, experience with Kara (and the alcohol in you) tells you to simply roll with it for the night.

Consequences would be addressed in the morning.

“Let’s go,” you urge Maggie, tugging her hand. “Let’s see what they planned for us.”

Maggie looks at you with an eyebrow raised and you know she’s judging you. “You’re drunk,” she states.

You shrug. “Just a little bit,” you concede. Really, you’re not so done you don’t know where you are or anything. Besides, Maggie’s with you and you trusts her with your life.

Your girlfriend smiles softly. “Fine, then,” she tells you. “Let’s see what they have planned for us.”

XxXxX

When you said you wanted to see what they planned for you, you never really thought that they would go overboard. Really, you were expecting a nice enough room after a delicious dinner, but you never thought they would book you in one of the nicer rooms… in what looks to be one of the nicest hotels in the City.

The bed is big enough that you fear you’ll lose Maggie in it and it’s covered in loose rose petals. The floor to ceiling windows let you see the harbour and the still ocean just beyond… tonight is a lazy night and there’re barely any ships in the water. The snow is still coming down, and its softness makes the picture more beautiful. The room is a nice cream colour and the suitcase (your suitcase) is resting gently against the reddish love seat… a love seat that sits in front a lit fireplace.

“They really thought of everything,” Maggie says, impressed as she surveys the room. “They even order us champagne.”

You look at where Maggie is pointing, and, sure enough, there’s a bucket of ice with a chilled bottle of champagne and a couple of flutes resting on a small side table. There’s also an envelope in between the flutes and, being the curious scientist you are, you immediately go for it.

“It’s from Kara,” you state with surprise and suddenly your hands are trembling and Maggie’s at your side, taking the envelope from you.

“Let me,” she tell you softly.

You nod and shift so you can hug her waist as she reads.

“Dear Mom and Mama,

“I’m sorry you went around the city for most of the night, but I wanted you to have a proper date and Su said that dinner and a movie was something that couples do all the time, but I didn’t want you to go watch a movie. You watch movies all the time at home and I know Mom doesn’t like to dance as much as Mama does, but Mama loves it, and I know Mom really likes Italian food, so Su helped me find Mama a place to dance and a place for Mom to get the best tiramisu.

“Su says the hotel you’re in is the best place to go dancing on Friday nights. It plays the old music Mama likes, the dance floor it’s open until after midnight, and she says she’s sure Mom will be happy to know the bar is an open bar. (Mom, what’s an open bar?)

“Su also helped me exchange the money from my swear jar so that we could pay for everything tonight. You don’t need to worry about money, we even got enough money so Su and I can go and eat ice-cream while you two are having dinner.

“We packed a suitcase for you when you’re ready to sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow when you come back.

“Love you both,

“Kara.”

The wetness on you cheeks are not a surprise to you, nor are Maggie’s. Your daughter is a marvel and you wonder when did they had time to prepare this. You also wonder how you nor Maggie were the wiser.

“She’s amazing,” Maggie whispers as she cleans her tears away with the back of her hand.

“She’s your daughter,” you whisper back to her. “Of course she’s amazing.” You nuzzle her neck, softly. You don’t even bother cleaning your tears. You know they’re not stopping anytime soon.

“Oh, please,” Maggie kisses your temple. “I wasn’t around to help raise her. If anything, she’s all you.”

You shake your head, because, can’t Maggie see how better are you two with her in your lives? You were just a step away from total depression and Kara was suffering from panic attacks and anxiety and Maggie came and saved you both from your demons.

And, yes, you know yourself and Kara enough to know that even if Maggie never entered you lives you’d managed. You know you’d rebuild yourselves together and you’d survive with just the two of you… but… Maggie makes everything special. She makes life more than surviving.

She makes your life more than worth living.

“No, Mags,” you tell her, turning and burying your nose in her soft hair. “Thanks to you she’s a better person.” You breathe into her. “Thanks to you she has fun and knows where her limits lay. She can be herself, explore who she is. She’s so, so much better with you in her life. Thank you, Maggie, thank you so much, for not backing away that first date.”

Maggie turns so she can see deep into your eyes. The distance between you closes and you can’t help but close your eyes when soft, tender, lips, press to your brow, to your eyelid, to your cheek, to your nose, to your jaw, to the corner of your mouth. “I could never back away,” she tells you. “Not then, not now.” Lips meet lips and you savour the sweetness of her. Every time you kiss her, every time you get to taste her, you feel like a beggar that finally, finally got a bite to eat. She lets go of you, her lips mere millimetres away from yours. “Not ever.”

Her lips find their way to behind your ear as your chest explodes with warmth and love. She leaves a trail of soft kisses all across your neck and you squirm, your arms going around her neck. “I love you,” you breathe out.

You can feel her smile against your skin. “And I love you.” She lays one last kiss in the point where your neck meets your shoulder before stepping away from your arms. “But, we should get going if we want to get that dance.”

You look into her eyes, soft, warm and so open. So full of love.

Your arms go around her neck again and you kiss her, long and hard and needy and hot and breathlessly. “I don’t care about dancing,” you tell her when oxygen becomes a problem. “I just care about you.”

You start walking backwards, forcing Maggie to follow you and you feel the back of your knees meet the bed. You let yourself drop onto it, pulling Maggie to you, making her climb onto your lap.

And you kiss her. You kiss every inch of her face, her neck, her hands.

And you undress her, piece by piece, reverently. Worshipping each and every patch of skin that’s revealed to you.

And you caress her, your slightly cold fingers leaving hot patterns on her soft skin. You nails dig into her, marking her, making her even a little bit more yours.

And you love her.

With all your being.

With all your soul.

XxXxX

The next day, when you question Kara about her need for you to go out, her answer baffles you:

~ _It’s your anniversary. Mom said she fell in love with you when she first saw you… and you said you first saw Mom shortly after we moved in… so…_ ~ Kara shrugs.

You look at the planner you insist having pinned to the fridge. A year ago, on this week, you and Kara were moving into your new home and you were still smarting after your parents’ death. You’re not sure why you’re surprised Kara catalogue those tiny bits of conversation and how she constructed an anniversary neither you or Maggie considered.

Maggie sweeps the girl into a bone-crushing hug. ~ _Well, aren’t you damn cute!_ ~

Kara laughs as Maggie tickles her softly, pointing to the now totally empty jar sitting on the counter. “Jar!”

And you join in the laughter because you were sure your kid was getting rich with your swearing and she decided to spend it all on a night out for you and Maggie.

You wonder, though, exactly how much money Kara managed to save with your potty mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You asked for fluff? Well, this is as fluffy as I can get at the moment.
> 
> Don't be shy to leave a prompt or two... we want to make this baby big!


	13. Bully

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sawyer,” the officer calls to you again.
> 
> You startle, making Silva, who’s beside you, chuckle. “Ma’am?”
> 
> The woman looks at a paper in her hand. “Your kid’s school is calling.” You freeze and you can feel all your colleagues eyes on you. “She was in an accident.”
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where Kara's in trouble, Maggie gets called in and Alex is a little angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as always, beta love to @reinakonanofate for not only accept to be the whip behind this, but for also helping me when I'm struggling with plot holes and when I start digging myself in too deep.
> 
> Go say hi to her, people!!!

You’re months away from graduating and the training is becoming more demanding.

At school you’re only taking two classes, the only two classes you’re missing to graduate college at the same time you’re graduating the Academy, and your sole focus these days is the Academy, you barely go to Gotham U anymore.

Your instructors are getting more and more biting. They yell more, they demand more, they push you harder.

You’re training because you want to join the Science Division, to help handle all cases involving aliens and things that go bump in the night, so your training is harder, more dangerous, and you’re so focused on what your instructor is telling you all in that moment, that you don’t notice the officer at the door, that you don’t hear your name being called.

“Sawyer,” the officer calls to you again.

You startle, making Silva, who’s beside you, chuckle. “Ma’am?”

The woman looks at a paper in her hand. “Your kid’s school is calling.” You freeze and you can feel all your colleagues eyes on you. “She was in an accident.”

You’re up and running to the main desk as fast as you can, the only words still in your mind are ‘your kid’ and ‘accident’.

The man that’s on duty today doesn’t look up from his newspaper as he points to the handset that’s lying on the desk. You wait no time and pick it up, your heart in your throat. “Hello?” You curse in your mind at how shaken you sound. But really, there are too many wrong things with this call.

Like, Kara’s was in an accident… your little alien, who can’t be hurt, was in an accident.

Like, Kara’s school is calling you, not Alex.

Like, Kara’s school is calling _you_.

“ _Officer Sawyer?_ ” a woman on the other side calls to you.

“Yes.”

“ _I’m speaking on behalf of Principal Bennet. Alex Danvers left you in charge of Kara Danvers?_ ”

You’re confused, truly baffled. Yes, Alex lets you in charge of Kara when she’s busy and you’re available and she leaves Kara with Susan if needed… but Alex is available now. She was heading into City Hall district with her interns today to check something over at S.T.A.R. labs… she is as available as you are.

However, you know time is of the essence and so you answer the woman a little shortly, “yes.”

“ _Kara’s been in an incident, Officer. We need you to come pick her up. Principal Bennet also wishes to speak with you.”_

“Incident?” you ask, a little panicky.

“ _Nothing major, ma’am. She’s uninjured and waiting for you, but you do need to pick her up.”_

You nod, even when the woman can’t see you. “Okay,” you tell her, even when everything is as far from okay as it could be. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“ _Thank you.”_ And with that the line disconnects.

You hang up and rush to the locker room. Yes, you have a busy day today, but Kara comes first and she needs you right now.

XxXxX

You call Alex as you are getting your things ready and you’re glad she answers you on the first ring. With how the school couldn’t reach her, you believed for a moment something bad happened to her too.

You don’t bother changing out of your uniform and you don’t bother telling your superiors you’re taking the rest of the day off, you just gather all your things and sprint to the car as you resume your phone call to Alex. Good thing tomorrow is Friday and you have classes at the university and you can easily skip them if needed.

“ _Did they say accident or incident?”_ You can hear how Alex is speeding things on her end. She’s half yelling at her interns instructions as she talks to you.

“Incident.” You recall the officer saying accident, but that woman at school saying incident. With the way things work at the Academy, you’re certain the woman’s information is more reliable.

“ _So, she’s not hurt.”_ Alex is rushing around, you can almost see it, with the way you hear her panting and dodging people.

“She said it was nothing major.” You’re climbing into your car and you speed away as you talk frantically on the phone. You know it’s stupid, but you don’t care. Not now. “Want me to pick you up?”

“ _No,_ ” Alex responds immediately. “ _I’m in the opposite side of the city. Head over to the school and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”_

At times like this is that you wish Alex had her own car, but you two had long decided one car was enough for the family and you are the one that commutes across city almost daily, and so you are the one driving the beat up thing. “Okay, okay,” you tell her as you almost ran over a crossing woman. “Shit.”

“ _Maggie?”_

“Sorry, love. Traffic looks light, I might even arrive there in half an hour.”

“ _… you’re driving.”_

You blink at that… you can hear how Alex is half shouting at her ducklings and how she’s running all over the place. Can’t she hear you driving? And why did she sounded so upset while stating that fact? “Yes?”

“ _Rao, Maggie. I’m hanging up. Just concentrate on getting there. **Safely.** ”_

Alex hangs up and you are left confused. She sounds mad. Like, angry, pissed, mad. When you were discussing Kara she didn’t sound mad, just concerned. And panicky.

You toss the phone to the passenger seat and do as told. You don’t have time to ponder what you did to upset your girlfriend.

Right now you need to get to Kara.

Quickly.

XxXxX

“Officer Sawyer.” It’s the first thing that leaves your mouth as you practically run over the front desk you were directed to. “I’m here for Kara Danvers.”

The woman behind it lifted her head to look at you and you can see the surprise in her eyes as she focuses on your uniform. It’s not a nice kind of surprise, though. Today was physical day and you’re not wearing your fancy uniform.

Also, you might be a bit sweaty thanks to the morning activities.

“Officer… Sawyer,” the woman says, slowly, as if trying to match a fancy name with an ugly face and you’re not sure if you want to be amused or offended. “You need to speak with Principal Bennet before you can take the kid. They are waiting for you.”

You nod. “Okay, but I need to see my daughter first.”

The woman looks at you, strangely, but she nods back. “She’s outside the Principal’s office. You can’t miss her.”

You hurry to where the woman points and you notice that you never asked for her name. It is not like it’s important, though, right now the only thing on your mind is Kara.

Kara, who is sitting on one of the chairs on either side of the hallway, her head bowed and one hand playing with her gemstone and the other slightly hugging herself. The door, which reads ‘Principal’, at the end of the hallway it’s closed and you can hear hushed voices, angry voices, from behind it, but you don’t care about that at the moment. What matters is your daughter.

“Sunshine?”

Kara’s head snaps up and the first thing you notice is how her eyes are puffy and there are traces of dried blood under her nose.  Her lips trembles as she reaches to you with the hand that was holding her gemstone, her voice reaching your ears barely. “Mom.”

You’re at her side in an instant, kneeling before her, but you don’t embrace her as you wish, because, the second thing you notice, is how she’s cradling her arm to her stomach and you can see, easily, that stupid dampener on her swollen wrist. “Kara?” you ask her, now truly concerned, but not in a panic… at least not yet. If she’s wearing her dampener, then Alex is well aware that Kara is having a rough day and whatever that’s hurting your baby is going away as soon as you take that damn thing off.

You left home too early that morning before your girls were up, and you weren’t aware Kara was using her dampener that day. Some days, like apparently today, Kara feels too wound up, too emotional, too tight in her skin and she fears that she will hurt someone with her super strength or that she’d suddenly start floating away.

You know that Alex hates the dampener and you do too because you know it hurts your girl, but sometimes Kara needs the reassurance that she won’t lose control and the only way she knows to deal with that is wearing the dampener.

You know that Alex is looking for alternatives, but her research is yet to be at the level of what her mother did. You know she’s looking for ways to help her mute her powers without hurting her as she’s still too young to be able to keep herself in check all the time, but now, she’s still all theories and no action.

Your girl whimpers and she sneaks her good arm around your neck, forcing you to support her. ~ _Mom,~_ she whimpers, this time in Kryptonian, and you know now it’s time to panic.

Kara never speaks her mother tongue outside your home.

~ _Kara,~_ you answer her in kind. ~ _Sunshine, please, tell me what’s wrong.~_

Kara shakes in your arms and you can feel her crying into your neck. ~ _Mom. Mom. Mom.~_

You sigh and push her away from you for a moment. She whimpers again and you feel awful at how heartbroken and betrayed she looks when she tries to hug you again but you refuse her. “Kara, where’s the box?”

Kara’s soft cries turn into intense sobbing.

“Kara, please.”

She shakes so badly you know what’s coming next. ~ _Hey, hey. Baby, baby. Easy, ~_ you call to her. You pick her up as gently as you can before sitting on her chair, settling her on your lap and pulling her to your chest. You take her good hand into yours and press it against your breast, above your heart. ~ _Feel my heartbeat, baby. Feel my breathing. Can you try to follow it, baby? Can you try to breathe with me, love?~_

Kara nods and obeys you as best she can. She closes her eyes and leans fully against you, trying really hard to calm her breathing, focusing just on you.

~ _Good girl, love. Such a good girl._ ~

Kara shivers and shakes, but her panic attack doesn’t take hold and you feel yourself loosen a bit with that small achievement. ~ _I’m sorry,~_ she begins to murmur in between sobs. ~ _I-I’m sorry, M-Mom. I’m s-sorry.~_

 _~Shhh, baby, shhh,~_ you coo. ~ _Please tell me where’s your box. We need to take that thing off.~_

Kara shudders and her thumb start caressing her lower lip. ~ _I-I lost it.~_

You close your eyes, because, of course, she lost the only way you have to make her feel marginally better, at least physically. ~ _Okay, Kara,~_ you tell her, even when it’s really not okay. ~ _I’m going to take it off, though, to see what’s wrong with your wrist. Does your nose hurt?~_

~ _No_.~ Kara shakes her head as she cuddles into you. You take her wrist gently and remove the bracelet with ease. Kara’s still tense against you, but she’s also a little calmer and you know that distance right now it’s the only thing that you can really offer her, so, without really thinking about it, you reach to your boot and loosen it just enough to let the bracelet drop inside it. You notice with surprise how Kara relaxes and you wonder if leather offers some protection from the Kryptonite.

You’ll have to ask Alex later.

Kara’s wrist is swollen, alright, and her knuckles look a little red and barely scuffed. You don’t need to a detective to know that she actually punched someone. You also can see your girl doesn’t know how to throw a punch and you make a mental note to correct that someday.

~ _Who’d you hit?~_

Kara tenses again and hides in your neck. ~ _M-Mom, I didn’t! I-I-~_

“Kara, don’t lie to me.” Your tone is not stern, you know that now stern is the last thing you need to do. You are also aware that, strangely enough, you don’t care that she hit someone… you are certain that whoever got hit deserved it.

Kara whimpers, but she glances at you and she might’ve seen something because she tells you in a tiny voice while playing with your gemstone as your hand draws soft circles over her red skin. “Mike.”

You nod. Kara doesn’t really talk about school and she doesn’t really have friends at school. From what little Alex and you had managed to get out of her, her classmates are either boring or too full of themselves or simply mean. She’s cordial with a couple of kids and she’s been invited to some birthday parties but she sometimes prefers to spend her day with Vasquez, Alex or you.

You know it’s not healthy, but Alex and you also know that you won’t be forcing Kara to do anything she doesn’t want to. She’ll have friends when she’s ready, she’ll be the social butterfly you know she is when she’s ready.

But, Mike is a name you identify easily.

Mike is the oldest boy in Kara’s class. He was held one year and so he’s older than the rest of the kids… not even counting Kara is a little more than a year younger than the rest of her classmates. You’ve seen the noodly kid once or twice when you’ve picked Kara up and his way too put together outfits makes you think of a mini frat boy.

He doesn’t seem like the aggressive kind, but if Kara got physical with him, then he might’ve done something.

~ _Can you tell me what happened?~_

Kara shakes her head. “No.”

You sigh. “Kara, please. I’m going to talk with your principal in a little bit and I want to know why you hit him.”

Your girl looks up at you and you are happy to notice that she’s not trembling as much. You’re also happy to see that the shine you’ve come to relate with Kara is coming back in her eyes and she’s no longer crying. ~ _You’re not angry?~_ she asks you, tentatively.

You pause to consider her question. Are you freaked out? Absolutely. Are you worried? A giant big yes. Are you angry? No… or at least you’re not angry with Kara, so you tell her so.

“Yes, baby, I’m angry. I’m angry that you had to hit someone, but I’m not angry you hit someone. Kara, I don’t care you got physical with anyone, what I care is _why_ you thought hitting him was your best option. So, please, tell me what happened. No matter what, Kara, I love you and nothing you do will ever change that, okay?”

Your daughter starts focusing more on your gemstone than you and you can see a little colour returning to her cheeks. You can feel her dampener in your boot, heavy and burning, but Kara’s not in direct contact with it and it shows.

Even her wrist doesn’t look as swollen… though that could be your relief talking.

“He… said some nasty things…” she tells you, quietly. “He… he sometimes pushes me around, but I can ignore him. He’s not strong… but… today… we-we were talking about the different kinds of families and I said I have two moms and he got this… this ugly look… so… when we were in recess he pushed me again, but…”

She pauses and you take the moment to start combing her hair with your hand. It’s a little matted and you know she loves when it’s combed, braided or just played with. “Go on,” you encourage her gently.

She looks up to you again, briefly, as if checking you’re still not mad. “He… he said that you- um-”

“Go on, baby.”

“Thatyou’redykesanddeservertoburninhell.”

You blink. Once. Twice. Thrice.

_That you’re dykes and deserve to burn in hell._

Okay, so that kid is more toxic than you thought. “And then?”

“I… I got mad and hit him. I hit him and he hit back… but it didn’t hurt that much.”

You bury your nose on her hair, inhaling deeply, to hide the smirk that’s threatening to blossom on your face. Damn that kid, she defended you and she got angry on your behalf. A huge part of you feels pleasantly proud of Kara right now.

“Sunshine,” you tell her when you’re sure your smile won’t be heard in your voice. “Hitting someone when you’re angry is not okay.” You feel your baby curl onto herself and you wonder if she’s waiting to be scolded. “But, Kara, I’m proud you confronted him. He shouldn’t say those things, but, most of all, he shouldn’t be pushing you around.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Yes, Kara, I’m mad. I’m mad at him,” you tell her honestly. “Now, why didn’t you tell us he pushes you? Do your teachers know?”

Kara shakes her head. “The teachers know…”

“And?”

Kara shakes her head again and nuzzles your collar. “You smell weird,” she informs you.

“Wha?” you ask her, baffled. What’s up with the change of topic?

Kara tenses instead of answering you. You don’t see it but you can hear the tell-tale sound of Kara sucking her thumb. And she whimpers meekly.

Before you can question her, frantic footsteps reach your ears and you see Alex rushing to you.

“Kara? Maggie?” she asks. “What happened?”

Alex is kneeling by your sides as you were not too long ago. Her eyes zoom on the little blood around her nose and she frowns, panic clear in her eyes. “Kara?”

You can feel your girl tremble, so you took it upon you to explain.

“A bully in her class has pushed her around and today he went a little too far. She got mad and hit him, he hit her back and here we are.”

Alex tensed, turning to Kara. “Baby?”

Kara shakes her head and buries further into you, her oddly cold nose rubbing on your neck.

“Kara,” Alex asks, hesitation clear in her voice “Did… did you hurt him, you know a bit too much?” she asks in a tiny voice and you’re floored at how similar Kara and her sound when scared.

You frown, because, shouldn’t Alex be asking if Kara was hurt?

“No,” Kara murmurs around her thumb.

Alex nods. “Okay, okay,” she looks at her, warily. “Is that his blood?”

Your confusion turns into annoyance, Alex is focusing on things that are not important right now… like the health of that kid. “Al-” you start, aiming to focus your girlfriend when Kara’s mumble reaches your ears.

“Mine,” she says around her thumb.

And you finally understand. Alex’s face pales to the point where you get concerned she was going to faint. You see her swaying just a little bit and she reaches for your hand to steady herself. “Your blood… how?”

You finally understand that Alex never thought Kara was hurt or even in danger. She never thought it possible for Kara to be in that position.

“Alex,” you call to her. “She was still wearing her dampener then,” you tell her, so she can stop freaking out.

And the paleness and unsteadiness are suddenly gone, replaced with icy eyes and a flush to her cheeks that you’d only seen once.

When you two had your first major fight, little before you finally moved in.

Alex is pissed.

No, she’s livid.

“Dampener?” she asks, her tone measured. It sounds so hard, so cold, you involuntary gulp and you hear Kara whimper yet again. “Kara, you were wearing your dampener?”

 Kara sobs out and clutches your top in her tiny fist.

“Alex?” you ask, confused.

Your girlfriend looks at you and her stare makes your blood turn icy. “You said she was wearing her dampener.” It’s not a question, but you nod either way. “Kara never told me she needed it today.” She turns again to the girl in your arms. “I didn’t know she had it.”

And you start becoming angry too.

The pit of your stomach starts swirling and your chest starts constricting with something that borders on disappointment… Kara knows better than to take the dampener without telling either of you. She knows the dampener is harmful and you two need to know when she’s using it so you can be prepared. She knows you two hate the thing and always try to make sure she really needs it before letting her wear it. She knows she’ll always get it if she asks…

… why was Kara using her dampener without permission?

“Kara Álainn,” you can almost physically feel how Alex is fighting with herself to keep calm, “can you tell me why you were wearing the dampener without telling us?”

Kara keeps quiet, but her sobbing intensifies. You can hear how she’s starting to struggle with her breathing again and you hope this panic attack is easier to avoid. She doesn’t sound as distressed as before, but she’s crying harder this time.

“Hey, sunshine,” you call to her. “Deep breaths, love, deep breaths.” You make eye contact with Alex, trying to convey what’s happening to your kid.

Alex looks at you and she nods. She reaches for Kara, but the girl flinches away and for a second you see hurt flash on Alex’s face before she controls her expression into a passive one. She doesn’t reach for Kara again, but she rests her hand on your knee, close enough to almost touch the girl. “Listen to your Mom, baby, deep breaths.”

Kara tries to do as she is told, but her tears are coming too quickly, too hard.

Before either of you can really get anything done, the door opens and you hear the end of a sentence “– see what’s taking her so long.”

You see a man in maybe his fifties turn from whoever he was speaking to inside the office to face you. He shows surprise for a second before he levels your little family with what you know from experience is disgust. He gets a look at you, Kara on your lap and Alex kneeling at your feet and his nose twitches.

“Family of Kara Danvers?” he says in a gruff voice.

Alex stands up in a swift motion. “Sir,” she nods to him. “Doctor Danvers. I’m her Mama,” she introduces herself politely offering her hand to him. In any other scenario having Alex introducing herself as ‘Mama’ with such a straight face would make you laugh. Not now, though, as you are certain you weren’t the only one to notice what the man thought as he saw you. “This is my partner, Kara’s Mom, Officer Sawyer.”

You nod to him and are instantly outraged when he looks at Alex’s hand but doesn’t shake it. “We were waiting for you for a long while,” he says as Alex lowers her hand. “We’d thought you’d be more concerned about your… child’s actions.”

Alex’s brow raises. “We?”

The man nods and gestures to his office. “Mrs. Dal has waited for almost an hour to meet her son’s aggressor.”

You can see a woman looking from just inside the office. She’s tall and languid, her face is small and her neck a little too long. She’s dressed to the nines and you don’t need to look for the family resemblance to know she’s Mike’s mother.

Alex’s eyebrow raises even higher. “Aggressor?”

“That little bitch broke my son’s nose!”

Kara startles at the loud noise and you react without thinking, covering one of her ears with your hand while pressing the other to your chest.

Alex’s face is already flushed, so you can’t see how her anger escalates, but you know she’s now beyond livid, she looks practically murderous. “Doctor Danvers,” she introduces herself again, this time the steel in her voice makes Kara flinch again and you can’t help but wonder why Kara is suddenly so afraid of Alex. “And you are?”

“Mickey’s mom,” she says shortly as she steps out towards you. “Mickey’s the sweet boy who that thing attacked.”

Your girlfriend turns to you and you can almost see the steam leaving her ears. “Maggie, love,” she tells you, as calmly as she can. “Could you stay with Kara while I deal with… this woman and this gentleman?”

“You want me to come with?” you ask her, just as calmly and Kara fidgets on your lap as if preparing to hop down.

“No.” Alex’s answer is quick and to the point, halting your kid’s actions. “No. I don’t think Kara can be alone right now.” You hear what she’s nor saying, though: ‘I’m too mad to be around Kara right now.’ She’s tense, too tense and she’s going to explode soon.

Kara, however, relaxes against you, her tears still coming hard but quietly, and starts playing with your gemstone with her free hand. You’re concerned she’s still sucking her thumb and that she doesn’t seem to care her principal and a stranger are looking her at her most vulnerable.

At least she’s no longer panicking and you wonder if the fact that Alex was going away for a little bit is the answer to that.

So, you nod. “Okay, we’ll be here.”

She nods back and turns to the other two people in the hallway. “Shall we?” she gesture to the office.

The man grunts and the woman sniff, but they enter the office again. Alex hesitates for a second before going to Kara and, even when the kid becomes stiff and stops her breathing for a second, leaves a kiss on top of her head. “I love you, Kara.”

The moment Alex is inside the office Kara relaxes. And you feel how she becomes almost boneless in your embrace.

“Your Mama is never gonna hurt you, Kara,” you tell her quietly because you’ve seen kids react like that before at the youth centre. Kids that are beaten regularly, kids that are yelled at often, kids that don’t know any other form of physical contact than fists and kicks, kids that live off the street, kids that suffer the abuse one way or another. Kara’s situation is not like that… or at least you hope Kara doesn’t see her situation like that.

Your daughter nods but doesn’t offer any kind of answer. She just snuggles deeper into you as you feel her tears slowly dampening your shirt.

You can hear the raised voices inside the office after just a couple of minutes and you don’t think about twice as you cover Kara’s ear with your hand again forcing her head against your chest, protecting her from what’s been said. You are no singer, but you start a low hum, something you hope is musical enough and loud enough to distract Kara.

Alex is not pulling punches and you wonder what would happen when you get home. You really think this is the angriest you’ve seen her and you know it had nothing to do with Kara hitting someone. It may have a lot to do with Kara using her dampener without permission and everything to do with the hostility and hate you felt from the principal and that woman.

But, still, Alex is way too angry and, while you are angry too, you think you’re the one in most control now. You know angry Alex is a volatile thing and you also know that she’ll get home with you two and she’ll either head out right away or she’ll hole up in her study for the rest of the day.

Either way, she’ll be avoiding Kara until after she’s ready to face her without hurting her.

The voices in the office are getting louder now and you wonder, exactly how your family is going to get over this one.

XxXxX

“Go to your room,” is the first thing out Alex’s mouth as soon as you get home.

Kara’s been quiet since Alex arrived at the school and she kept quiet all through Alex shouting match with her principal and the really short drive home. So, she doesn’t protest as she quietly pads off to her room and closes the door behind her.

Alex is left standing in the middle of the living room, her frame too tense and ready to start shaking and you don’t know what to do now.

You’ve been comforting Kara for the last hour or so, but with her in her room, you don’t know if Alex wants to be the one comforted now. “Love?” you ask, hesitantly. “What can I do?”

_What can I do to make this better? What can I do to make you feel better? What can I do to make Kara feel better? What can I do to stop feeling this way? What can I do to help?_

Alex raises her eyes and your heartbeat skips when you see the tears that are trying to fall. “I’m angry,” she tells you. “I’m furious. I’m so, so, so, so mad, Maggie,” her voice cracks. “I’m so mad and Kara flinched away from me. Maggie, she flinched.” She looks up and blinks, trying in vain to contain her tears. A couple of them still fall and she chuckles dryly. “Goddammit, I swore I’d never hurt her and I failed. I fucking failed.”

“Alex-”

“No.” She rubs at her eyes, forcing the tears away. “No, Mags, not now.” She sighs. “I’m going to head off to the lab for a couple of hours, I think. Can you stay with her?”

You nod. “Always.”

Your girlfriend throws her arms around you and hugs you tight. “Rao, I love you so much.” She releases you and goes to grab her keys. “Call me if anything happens.”

“I love you too, darling.” You are ready to let her leave, knowing that she needs the space when you remember something important. “Wait!”

Alex stops just before she can cross the front door and looks at you.

You quickly undo your boot and take it off, much to your girlfriend’s confusion. You fish the cursed dampener and hold it to her. “Kara said she lost the box,” you inform her.

Alex takes it and stares at it, before raising her eyes to you. “She didn’t lose the box,” she informs you.

“No, she didn’t.” Because you know your girl is more careful than that. Because you know Kara knows how important that box is and she always has in on has it on hand while wearing the dampener. No matter what.

Alex sighs. “I’ll get another one from the lab,” she informs you as she finally leaves.

And that means that you’re alone with Kara and you don’t know what to do.

You don’t know if going to see her it’s the best course of action or not.

You don’t know if leaving her alone is for the better or not.

You’re trying to decide what to do when your stomach protests. You see the clock in the kitchen and notice that it’s past lunchtime and you haven’t eaten in a long while. You also realize that Kara said everything happened on recess, but you’re not sure if your girl had anything to eat. You doubt it, though.

So, now you have something to do: you’ll make lunch and then you’ll see Kara.

Everything else can come later.

Nothing wrong is going to happen.

XxXxX

You open the door when knocking for the third time doesn’t give you any kind of answer. “Kara?”

The girl is lying on the bed. She’s curled up in a little ball and she’s changed out her normal clothes. She’s now wearing the one-piece pyjama that Vasquez gave her as a gag gift and you can’t help but smile softly at how, even at eleven, she really looks like a little kid wearing it. Kara absolutely loves it, she wears is as often as she can, always with the hood up that reaches down to her nose up to resemble a little puppy and the puffy, heavy tail trailing behind her when she walks that makes her waddle a little.

She’s adorable and your heart breaks at how your little girl is crying softly, her lithe frame shaking quietly.

“Oh, Kara,” you say as you finally enter the room. Without hesitation, you let the plate with sandwiches on her desk and climb into bed behind her. ~ _Hey, baby_ ,~ you coo as you embrace her. ~ _Talk to me_.~

Kara turns in your arms and she instantly cuddles you, one hand going to your gemstone and the other fist your top. ~ _She’s mad_ ,~ she whimpers. ~ _You’re mad_.~

You nod. Of course Alex it’s mad. Of course, you are mad. ~ _Yes, sunshine, we are mad… but when Mama gets home we’ll all discuss it, okay? We’ll talk and you’ll let us know why you were wearing your dampener_.~

“I-I’m sorry.”

~ _I know you are, sweetheart. I know you are_.~

~ _Ma-Mama’s gone_ ,~ she shivers in your arms.

~ _She went to the lab for a little bit, sunshine, but she’ll be back_.~

~ _She’s t-too mad_.~

“She’ll never hurt you, Kara. You know that.” Or at least you hope she knows that. Rao, you hope she knows that. “Do you think she’ll hurt you, baby?” You need to know, you need to be certain she really doesn’t think that of Alex.

Alex has never gotten physical with either of you. Yes, she gets mad. Yes, she tends to shout when it becomes too much. Yes, her simmering anger is the worst. But she tries her hardest to control herself, she does everything in her power not to say things she’ll regret. And, yes, she sometimes fails, but you’ve never seen her fail with Kara.

You’ve never seen Alex hurt her little girl.

“… n-no,” Kara says quietly, barely above a whisper.

“Then why Kara? Why are you so scared?”

“… she d-doesn’t love an-anymore…”

You’re up in an instant, sitting up and forcing to Kara to do the same, grabbing her by her upper arms. “No, Kara, no,” you tell her, maybe a little forcefully, as she whimpers. “No, Kara. You can’t think that. Mama loves you with all her heart and nothing will ever change that. Nothing.”

Kara trembles but keeps quiet.

You don’t understand her logic, you don’t think Alex has ever done something to her to even warrant Kara thinking like that. But, you need to know, you need to know why is she thinking that way. “Kara, love, why would your Mama stop loving you, uh?”

“Eliza…” Kara begins, but clamps shut when you involuntarily squeeze her a little too tight.

“Sorry, baby, you caught me off guard. Please, continue.”

Kara looks up to you and you can see the tears in her eyes, but she’s no longer crying. “Eliza… said that when I’m bad people stops loving me,” she says and something in her posture changes. She relaxes and for the first time, you see how her eyes, her baby blue, shiny eyes, lose something that you can only describe as pain. Pain you’ve never noticed before. “She said school was important and that I needed to be my very best there. That I couldn’t be bad, not at school, never at school,” she sniffs just before she starts rambling, but telling you _everything_ :

“I was bad at school and now Mama doesn’t love me and I didn’t want to be bad and I really needed the dampener because I was feeling like being bad for a long time now and I know I can’t be bad but I was and Eliza said Mama would stop loving me if I was bad at school and so I told the principal Mama was away on business and to call you because I didn’t want her to know I was bad but Mike was really hurting me today and he insulted you and I couldn’t stop being angry and I was bad and Mama doesn’t love me anymore and I’m so scared because if she doesn’t love me, do you love me? Is Mama sending me away? I don’t want to go away I love it here and I love you and I love Mama and I don’t want to be away I  don’t want Mama to stop loving me but she doesn’t love me and it hurts, Mom, it hurts and I don’t know how to stop it. Mom, make it stop.”

And then she’s in your arms. She’s crying again and your heart breaks because this was bigger than you first thought. Somehow the ghost of Eliza Danvers made everything worse and now you understand why Kara was so freaked out.  You understand why the school called you. You understand why Kara’s seeking you and not Alex. You understand why she needed the damn dampener. And you understand why she’s hurting so much.

Suddenly another pair of arms appears around Kara, making the little girl start wailing. Somehow, you were so focused on Kara that you missed Alex returning.

“Oh, Kara,” your girlfriend sighs as she gently takes Kara from you, cradling her on her lap as if she were a baby and rocking her. “My poor girl. Kara, I love you with all my heart. You are my world, baby. You are the only reason I kept going for years. Baby, nothing you do or don’t do will ever make me stop loving you. Kara, my little ray of sunshine, I love you so, so, so, so much.” She leaves a kiss on her forehead and you feel your chest sizing when you see Alex is crying too.

“But- but-” your daughter tries to say, but the words simply won’t come out.

“No Kara. Whatever my mom told you, it’s wrong. She’s wrong,” Alex says, one hand gently combing Kara’s hair. “I love you. No matter what, I love you. I always will. Always.”

“E-Even if- Even-”

“Even if you do something truly bad, Kara. I’ll never stop loving you. I might not agree with your choices, baby, like using the dampener without our permission, but I’ll always love you. No matter what.”

“A-And M-Mike?”

Alex cracks the first smile of the day, maybe it’s because of the question, or maybe it’s because Kara’s finally calming down. “That little shit doesn’t matter, love. Hitting when angry is not a thing you should be doing, but sometimes you can’t help it. While I don’t like that you hit him, I’m proud you stopped him. I’m proud of you, baby.”

Kara looks up at her, her eyelids heavy and her breathing finally calm. She contemplates Alex for a long moment, before weakly pointing towards her open doorway. “Jar.”

And you chuckle and Alex snorts and Kara smiles shakily. The girl curls onto Alex and grabs for her Mama’s gemstone. “I’m sorry,” she says softly as she plays with it.

Alex nods. “I know, love. I’m sorry too.”

You can see Kara frowning, confused. “Why?”

And Alex smiles sadly. “Because I never made sure you knew that no matter what, I love you. _We_ love you.”

Kara nods, and Kara sighs, utterly exhausted. “I love you too. Both of you,” she whispers. Her thumb slips into her mouth and she snuggles against her Mama, sucking softly and succumbing to sleep.

You see your girls and you smile sadly. They are so tough all the time and they are always trying to ignore their bad thoughts, their bad feelings. Maybe this was not the best scenario, but you’re glad they could talk. You’re glad Kara could voice her fears and that Alex could finally make your daughter stop feeling so bad.

“Sometimes I hate them,” Alex says, softly. She’s staring down to the girl in her arms. “Sometimes I wish I had taken Kara away from them sooner… sometimes, I’m so glad they are gone… I’m so glad they are dead.” She chuckles sadly. “Rao, I’m such a monster… no wonder she was scared.”

And you sigh. “No, love,” you tell her firmly. “No. You’re not a monster. Your childhood wasn’t the best and you grew up a little different that the rest of us. You’ve been doing your best for Kara, love, but you were hurt. You’re still hurting.”

Alex looks up at you and the haunted eyes that stare back at you frighten you. “Aren’t monsters born that way?”

And you don’t know what to say, because, somehow, you’re suddenly out of words.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @reinakonanofate wanted me to pass along this message:
> 
>  
> 
> _Dear Charis and readers of Kismet my deepest apologies if you find a grammatical or spelling errors but the moment I was editing this chapter, I was crying my eyes out and it's really hard to see through the tears, so yeah, I'm sorry again and someone, please hug them all of them #Sanvers and Kara. TT_TT_
> 
>  
> 
> So... sorry?


	14. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The days that follow are strange.
> 
> And stressful.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where we see what happened after Kara's school called Maggie and Alex deals with... issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta love to @reinakonanofate to deal with me and my strange ideas.
> 
> She deserves all the chocolate in the world!
> 
> Go say hi to her on tumblr, folks.

The days that follow are strange.

And stressful.

You debate with yourself if you want to follow through with the promise you made that scum of a man who calls himself a principal. He said that Kara complained too much about her classmates, especially about Mike Dal and that she was too young to be in her grade. Yes, she was intelligent, but she wasn’t mature enough to face the harshness of the world.

That stupid bastard was so wrong. So, so wrong, and he kept defending that dumb-ass kid that was double the size of your daughter.

So, you told him you were pulling Kara out of the school.

You didn’t consult with Maggie, or worse, with Kara, but the way they, the principal and that wretched, stupid kid’s mother, kept hinting you and your partner were the problem with Kara just made your blood boil. You were so mad at Kara at that moment, so mad and scared and so, so, so, guilty, you exploded in the only way that you could: yelling at the narrow-minded man and that hellish bitch.

Rao, when you stormed out the office Kara had flinched again and you could have shot yourself right there and then.

Kara was so afraid, you practically begged Maggie with your eyes to carry her to the car, to cuddle with her in the back-seat while you drove home, for her to stay with her when you needed to cool off.

Maggie was a godsend and you cannot thank Rao enough for that. Without her, you are not sure you could’ve faced that day alone.

You don’t care Kara hit someone. You don’t care she’s been suspended. Hell, you don’t care if she does it again when provoked… you just care that Kara thought she needed to be strong on her own and that she somehow didn’t trust you enough to go talk to you or Maggie.

You won’t ever admit it, but beyond your anger, you’re hurt. You’re hurt because Kara thought so little of you. Yes, she learned to think that way since she could go to school and your mother was such a horrible excuse for a human being, but… haven’t you showed her how much you love her?

Haven’t you showed her she can always go to you?

Have you been too strict with her?

Have you somehow hurt her, in any way?

Why did she doubt your love for her?

And, beyond your hurt, you’re so guilty, because, haven’t you showed her how much you love her?

Why have you failed so?

You haven’t been sleeping at night, maybe an hour or two at most, but every time you close your eyes, your brain starts filling with thoughts and you can’t shut them up. You eat the food, but it doesn’t taste like anything… you’re jumpy and you don’t know how you’re going to fix this.

The front door opens and you are shaken from your musings. You’re making breakfast for your girls and you should’ve been done by now, but you keep getting lost in thought, so it’s not a surprise when Kara hops on a stool and immediately pouts. ~ _No eggs?_ ~ she asks you.

You smile because even though you still can’t let go of the problem, it looks like Kara is fine… mostly. Sometimes she too gets lost in thought and you’ve caught her staring into space one too many times for the last handful of days, but she snaps out of it quickly. You’re sure she’s still stressing over it, just as you are, just as Maggie is, but the punishment Maggie and you came up with is really helping.

You took a little time off, the semester is starting and your interns are more than capable of managing the lab and your classes without a hitch. You planned this semester just to focus on your research and you can do that from home if needed, but you also can let that simmer without much trouble… you can make it up for it later, you are more than capable of it.

Maggie’s not so lucky with her schedule, but she’s helping as much as she can, doing her part of the punishment with a smile on her face, even if she’s too tired to actually enjoy it.

You two decided that Kara needed to be busy the week she’s been suspended, so you two came up with the plan of having Kara constantly occupied, either helping you or Maggie when needed. Kara’s cooking lunch and dinner with you, as well as helping with the general chores in the mornings and studying with you on the afternoons whatever she’s supposed to be seeing in school that day. Kara’s a genius, even more so than yourself, and so study time goes by quickly and then it’s quiet time for her and research time for you.

She curls up with a book in your beaten up bean chair by one the windows in your study while you do your research and check on your interns. Yesterday, one of your ducklings needed something and you had no trouble meeting with him in your home office while Kara read silently to the side.

She’s behaving and she hasn’t get fussy or gotten cabin fever.

And that’s Maggie’s job.

Maggie’s been waking her up around five thirty in the mornings to go jogging with her. She takes her to circle the neighbourhood once or twice, depending on the snow, and they come back in time for breakfast and for Maggie to shower and go to the Academy. And, after dinner, Maggie takes her to the store two blocks down to buy whatever you’re making the next night.

It’s not practical, but it helps Kara feel more at ease with being at home the entire day, and, even though the early mornings mean a midday nap, something Kara hates with a passion, it’s been a while since you last seen your girl this calmed, this relaxed.

Maybe you really needed to spend more time with her, just you and her.

Which is weird, because you spend most of your free time with her, either with her and Maggie or just her.

Maybe she’s still fragile after everything that happened and just needed some alone with you or Maggie.

~ _Mama_?~ Kara’s sweet voice calls to you and you notice that you spaced out again.

You smile but you don’t feel it reaching your eyes. ~ _Yes_?~

~ _Breakfast_?~

You look at what you’ve done and cringe when you see you’re not even halfway done. _~Why don’t you come here and help me with the pancakes?~_ you ask her because if you want to feed Maggie before she leaves, you need to hurry up.

Kara nods and hops down her stool. You smile as your girl takes the batter and starts heating the pan. The only thing Kara has been able to make for years is pancakes and they are always amazing. No matter if the batter is the made from scratch or store bought, somehow, Kara flipping them makes them taste heavenly.

 _~Are you sad?~_ Kara asks you as she starts on her first batch and you keep with the fruit salad.

You pause for a second, considering. You are sad, but it’s more of a soul wound than anything else. So you smile. _~Not really, baby, I’m just over thinking things.~_

Kara looks at you, oddly. It’s strange to see her a little sweaty after her morning jog and you wonder how hard Maggie has to run to make the little alien break a sweat. _~About?~_

 _~Your school,~_ you say honestly, because, damn it, you need to star communicating better and maybe Kara will be a good enough sounding board… and, she’s the one affected, after all.

Kara stops mid motion and she looks up at you, a little fear showing in her eyes. _~Mama?~_

You reach to her and gently place a hand on her head, rubbing softly. _~Did you hear what I told your Principal? When I was angry at him?~_

The girl shakes her head. ~ _No, Mama. Mom’s heart was too loud and I was not paying attention.~_

You nod towards the pancakes, telling your girl silently to keep working as you return to the salad. _~I told him I was pulling you out of school, baby, but I don’t know if I’ll follow through.~_ You see from the corner of your eye as Kara tenses and you have to hold in a sigh. ~ _What do you think, baby, want to go back to that school?~_

Kara flips her pancake and stares at it. ~ _School’s okay…_ ~ she tells you in a tiny voice. ~ _Mom and you work, so I need to be somewhere, right?_ ~

Your heart clenches at that. Kara sounds so defeated and you wonder exactly what you parents told her when she was a little kid. ~ _Our work will never be more important than you, Kara_ ,~ you tell her honestly. _~I rather you don’t return to that place and I really prefer if you have a tutor of some kind… maybe you won’t get as bored then._ ~

Kara shakes her head, stacking her first pancake. ~ _School is not boring… I like to hear what people say and I like to play in the playground…_ ~

~ _But the classes bore you_ ,~ you finish for her as you serve the fruit salad into your plates. _~I understand that… I was like that too._ ~

Kara’s then looking up at you, surprised. ~ _Really?_ ~

You smile, you sometimes forget that Kara hasn’t been around for more than eight years and that she didn’t get to meet you at her age. When you were Kara’s age, you were already starting high school and that was awful. ~ _Yes, baby. Remember when you got here? I was already in college.~_

She nods as she starts making the first tower of pancakes you know it’s going to be Maggie’s as soon as she’s out the shower. ~ _You dropped out school and Eliza was mad._ ~

You blink, surprised. ~ _You remember that?~_

Kara nods again. ~ _Eliza yelled too much… and Jeremiah was angry too.~_ Something in her tone rattles your brain.

 _~… and you think I’ll be mad if you stop going to school? You’re not dropping out, Kara, you’re just changing how you study… if that’s what you want.~_ You smile at your girl, who, with her spatula in hand and looking up at you with earnest eyes, is just too precious. ~ _Even if you choose to drop out after high school, I’ll support you, Kara… I’ll never be angry.~_

 _~Who’s dropping out?~_ Maggie asks you as she comes into the kitchen, still drying her hair with a towel.

Kara puts a plate with three pancakes before Maggie and you pass along her portion of the fruit. ~ _I was talking to Kara about trying home-school for a while.~_

Maggie nods as she starts digging on her breakfast. You talked to her about what you said to the principal and she supports your idea of pulling Kara out of that school. She’s not so sure about home-school as an option, but she really doesn’t want Kara in that school anymore. ~ _And what do you think, sunshine?~_

Kara’s brow crinkles as she keeps flipping pancakes. ~ _I dunno,~_ she tells you honestly.

~ _Think about it?~_ you ask her. ~ _Would you rather change schools? If you don’t want to try home-school, Mom and I rather you don’t go back to that middle school.~_

Kara stacks the last of the pancakes and she gives you your portion, keeping for herself a stack of more than ten pancakes. You always marvel at how quick she can make pancakes and you smile because when your girl goes to college she at least won’t starve… if she decides to go to college, that’s it. ~ _Can I think about it?~_

 _~You can take however long you need,~_ Maggie answers for you.

You nod and you sit at the counter, Kara hoping on her stool and bowing her head to send a silent prayer to Rao. You do the same, closing your eyes and simply thanking him for your little family.

And asking him for guidance on how to deal with all this mess.

XxXxX

“Mama?”

You hum, checking your email, but focusing on her completely. The day has gone slowly after lunch and Kara’s nap. Your girl is a little more subdued today and you don’t have to be a genius to know your little chat at breakfast is occupying most of her mind.

“Where’s my dampener?” she asks timidly and you look to where she’s soaking in the last sun rays that bathe the room.

You debate with yourself if you want to lie to her or not… but you remember communication needs to flow and you need to be first, you need to be honest. That she used English just shows how important this is to her. “It’s in my lab, baby, I’m going to destroy it and that’s the only place where I can do that.”

Kara’s up in an instant, her book forgotten. “What?”

You sigh, because you knew this was going to happen. The way Kara asked for the dampener makes you think that she already went look for it but didn’t find it… and that just make you believe she wants to use it again, reason why you need it gone. “I’m going to destroy it, Kara, I just need to come up with an alternative so I can nuke it, just wipe it off the face of the earth.”

“No! You can’t do that!”

“I’m sorry, baby, but that’s not up for discussion.”

“But- but-” Kara starts pacing and it breaks your heart when you see that there are tears in her eyes. “You can’t do that!”

You sigh and get up from your chair. You go to your girl and force her to stop, embracing her. “Listen to me, Kara, the dampener is harmful and I don’t want you to be hurt every time you wear it. I’ll make you another one, one that doesn’t hurt every time you wear it, baby, I promise. Give me some time, love, and I’ll have it, but, in the meantime, the one you have needs to go.”

Kara pushes you and you stumble a little at the force behind it. “You can’t do this to me!” she yells as her tiny fists clench enough to make her knuckles white.

You blink, perplexed. Kara’s angry, too angry. “What do you mean?”

Kara starts trembling and you don’t know what to expect now. “I need that dampener! I can’t do this without it! It’s safe, it helps!”

You shake your head. “No, Kara, it doesn’t help. It hurts you. You can control your powers without it for a little while, I promise I’ll make you another, okay? One that won’t hurt you, one that you can use all the time if that’s what you want.”

“You say you love me! Don’t do this!”

“I love you, baby, with all my heart. Never doubt that, baby.”

But Kara is already far too gone, her eyes shine with an unnatural light and for a second your scientific mind wonders if she’s finally able to use her heat vision. “No! Don’t call me that! I’m not a baby! I’m not your baby!”

That freezes you.

Cold starts spreading across your body, starting from your chest and expanding all over. Your heart hurts painfully and you’re reminded of what you were taught about heart attacks, how there this sudden sharp tug and then a dull ache that makes it hard to breathe, make your forehead start sweating. You have to clench a hand to your chest, squeezing, trying to get the hurt out. “Baby?” you repeat, because that’s what you call her, that’s what you’ve been calling her since she, like an angel fell from the sky to save you.

That’s the only thing you knew how to call her then.

Dammit, that’s the only thing you know how to call her now.

She’s your baby. Your baby girl. Your little kid. Your daughter.

The girl is crying, but her eyes still shine and she looks so, so, so mad. “No!” she shrieks. “No! I’m not your baby! I’m not! If I were you’d let me have it! You’d understand!”

Your heart is still hurting and nothing is making sense. “Understand what?” you whisper, but Kara doesn’t stop yelling.

“I need that dampener, Alexandra, I need it!”

She called you Alexandra.

She called you Alexandra.

She called you _Alexandra_.

“Kara, the dampener is hurtful. You don’t need it,” you manage to say, a little breathlessly.

“You aren’t listening! Why would you need to ask what I want, if you don’t listen?! You don’t listen!”

“Kara, I-”

But, no, the girl is storming out the room. The girl is sobbing now as she screams with all her might, “I hate you!”

And the pain in your chest only intensifies.

XxXxX

You hear the front door open and you notice it’s already dark.

Where did the time go?

“Alex?” you hear Maggie call to you and you realize it’s late and dinner should be done by now. The table should be set by now and Kara and you would be serving the food, just waiting for Maggie to arrive and eat. As a family.

“Alex?” Maggie’s voice comes closer and you can see her in the doorway. She’s looking at you with a concerned frown that immediately transforms into panic. “Babe?” she says as she rushes to you, kneeling beside your sitting form on the floor.

“Kara hates me,” it’s the first thing out your mouth. You don’t even try to explain it, you don’t even try to soften it. You just say it and the words leave a nasty taste in your mouth.

“What?”

“Kara hates me.”

Maggie snorts, but she looks at you with caution. “Kara doesn’t hate you. She couldn’t.”

You want to chuckle, but nothing comes out. You’re surprised you haven’t shed a single tear in all this mess. Somehow the pain is too much to even cry. “She told me so.”

“Alex…”

You look at your girlfriend, your voice monotonous. “Could you please go check on her? I don’t want to bother her and I know she still loves you.”

Maggie sighs and you know without doubt that she thinks you’re being overly dramatic… yes, that’s the Maggie sigh of ‘you’re overdoing it’. “Kara loves you, Alex. You’re her whole world.”

You shake your head, because, dammit, your heart is still hurting and you haven’t heard Kara since she stormed out your office and you really don’t want to go check if she’s still in her room or if she ran away… you don’t want to know if she decided she no longer wanted to be around you.

“Fine,” Maggie tells you as she gets up. “I’ll be back in five minutes with Kara so we can talk properly… like a family.”

“No!” the denial is shouted almost as soon as Maggie finished talking, shaking you out of your dead-like state. “No, Maggie, don’t force her to come… just, don’t. Please, just go check on her. Just make sure she’s okay.”

And Maggie might have seen the desperation in your eyes, because she’s gone and you feel a little more relieved, knowing that Kara has someone she could trust, that she has someone to lean on.

You know what’s to be alone in a world so larger than you, to have no one to help you overcome your pain.

You know what’s to be valued in just your brains and maturity and you know what’s like to feel so, so, so powerless against an adult.

And you know that Kara is right in some tiny way.

You never talked to her to know what she wanted… but, you didn’t want to talk to her about this particular topic. You always ask her what she wants… don’t you? You listen to her and take into account what she wants. You listen and think it over and then decide if it’s the best course of action. Yes, you don’t always concede to her, nor you always let her get away with everything she wants.

But this, when it comes to her safety when it comes to her being okay… you think it took you too long to destroy that dampener.

You should have destroyed it a long, long time ago.

Hell, you should have destroyed it when your mother made it.

If you’d known…

You sigh and you feel the world’s entire weight in falling upon you. But, what’s done is done and you will stand firm and destroy that thing as soon as you can.

In the meantime, you own Maggie dinner and you’re sure Kara will like to eat too at some point… you’ll get back to your study as soon as you’re done… But your girls need to eat.

Yes, you can do that.

You can still take care of _her_ like that.

XxXxX

A knock at your door startles you out of your thoughts, again.

You’ve made dinner for your girls and you’re back at your study as planned. You’re simply sitting at the desk, nursing a glass of scotch… you haven’t drunk the thing in months, but, suddenly, the bottle that sat on the very back of the kitchen pantry looked too appetizing… too tempting.

You’re glad the thing was already half empty when you started, that fact makes you feel like you’ve drank much more than what you already have. It helps you try to really feel the buzz…

It’s not working, your heart feels way too heavy for it to work.

“Yeah?” you call to whoever it is… you know it’s Maggie. It can’t be other than Maggie.

You look up and see your girlfriend enter and you have to remind yourself not to be disappointed. You take all your remaining scotch in a go, grimacing slightly, but wishing it starts kicking in soon. . You knew it was Maggie since the beginning, not Kara.

Not Kara.

Maggie looks at you and goes to sit on the desk, near your empty glass. “Hey,” she tells you softly.

You glance briefly at her. You grab the bottle and are about to serve yourself more when Maggie stops you.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” She grabs the bottle before you can get a refill. “Hey, I’m here, okay? Tell me what happened.”

Your eyes go up and meet hers, but, really, what can you say to her? What can you say to make things better? She didn’t take five minutes with Kara as she had told you, and you know by now that Kara has surely told her side of the story and you won’t be surprised if Maggie sides with your ba- with Kara. So, you bow your head, ready to wallow in your own misery.

Maggie’s knuckle is suddenly on your chin, making you lift your head and look into her earnest eyes. “Hey, look at me,” she says, her eyes searching into yours. “What happened with Kara? She won’t talk to me, she just... cries.”

Maggie’s warmth is suddenly too much to bear. Her concern is palpable and you feel the sob starting to build on your throat. You can’t help but scrunch your face, trying to contain your emotions, because you don’t get the chance to cry when Kara’s the one hurting.

When Kara’s the one crying.

“Oh, sweetie,” Maggie coos as you’ve seen her do with Kara and you can’t help but give up.

Maggie rises so she can cradle your head to her chest, embracing you and shushing you. Embracing you and protecting you. Embracing you and supporting you.

Embracing you and loving you.

And you can’t help but start crying, fat, large, tears because Maggie is here, she’s going to help fix things. She’s going to make it all better, she’s going to help.

And you cry, you cry your eyes out. You sob, with all the bottled up feeling you’ve been carrying over the last week, you sob your soul out.

And you crumble before Maggie, before your soul mate.

Because right now, the only thing that’s keeping you breathing it’s the knowledge that Kara’s safe and you still got Maggie.

You still got Maggie.

XxXxX

You wake up with a headache and a painful pressure on your bladder. Maggie is still sleeping beside you and you can’t help but smile sadly at how exhausted she looks… she stayed up comforting you until the wee hours of the morning and you don’t blame her for not waking up before you.

After using the bathroom, and making sure Maggie is still comfortably resting, you go to the kitchen to make some coffee. It’s later than your normal waking hour, but you know Maggie will not be attending classes today and you can lean on her for a little bit longer.

Kara’s door is closed, but you find a used bowl on the sink and an empty milk carton in the garbage.

At least your girl had some breakfast.

Maggie, bless her soul, prepared the coffee machine before bed and so you don’t really have to do it now that you’re half dead. The morning is quiet and, even when it’s late and Friday, there really are no sounds around you… maybe you’re too used to Kara and her never-ending commentary, to the background noise of the news or simply the quiet chat shared between your family in the mornings.

But Maggie’s asleep and exhausted and Kara cried herself to sleep last night and Maggie wasn’t able to know if she was mad or sad or what… and so you’re alone.

The coffee is done while you’re so lost in thought and you prepare your cup just following the motions, not paying any attention. You’re not like Maggie who likes her coffee black and bitter, you drink yours with a dash of milk and some honey.

The first taste you take its… weird. Maybe it’s the scotch aftertaste, but it’s somehow not the same you’re used to. Maybe you need more honey today if only to sweeten a little your day.

The front doorknob rattles and you’re instantly alert. You notice that the latch is undone and that the door is opening without any trouble. You are about to call for Maggie when the scream on your lips die and you see who is entering your house.

“Kara?”

The little girl jumps, dropping your keys on the hardwood and she looks at you with the signature deer-caught-in-the-headlights she often gives you when you spoil any of her pranks. You see that she’s carrying a small bouquet of white and red roses mixed with some purple and blue flowers you don’t recognize, and a paper bag with some grease stains. Your little girl (no, she said she was not _that,_ you need to remember it, you need to remember it) gulps and she picks up your keys from the floor, putting them back on the fishbowl by the door with Maggie’s keys.

You want to ask, no, you want to demand where she was, why was she out the house alone and why is she carrying flowers, but you remember that right now, Kara is angry at you and she hates you and maybe you need to wake Maggie because you don’t know how to deal with the pain and anger that mix at seeing your kid –sister? daughter?- returning home from Rao knows where.

Before your dulled mind can really come up with anything, Kara walks to you and say in a really small voice while offering you the flowers: ~ _I’m sorry_.~

You accept them, shocked into silence. This is not what you expected. You don’t know what to say. What to think. So you keep quiet, smelling faintly the sweet perfume your flowers carry.

Kara saves you from having to say anything, though, because the girl is suddenly talking, her eyes trained on the floor. ~ _I’m so sorry,~_ your heart skips a beat _. ~I didn’t mean what I said. I don’t hate you and I’m sorry I hurt you and I’m sorry you cried and I’m sorry I was so bad and that I yelled and I’m sorry I didn’t say sorry sooner but I didn’t know how to say sorry and I’m really sorry but I fell asleep before I could say sorry and when I woke up you and Mom were still asleep and I thought that maybe I could do something to show you I’m sorry but we don’t have pancake mix and I can’t do anything else and I thought that maybe I could go buy some and I’m sorry I went out without permission and I’m sorry I broke a rule but I needed to do something and Mom wouldn’t wake up and I needed to say sorry because I’m sorry and_ -~

~ _Kara, I forgive you_ ,~ you interrupt her. You love how Kara sometimes starts to ramble, but your heart is not into it today and your headache is a little on the bad side and, really, you are just relieved she didn’t mean it (even though part of you still think she did) and you just want to know where she was and if she is fine.

Kara looks up at you and she might’ve seen something there, because she shakes her head and says a little more firmly, her red eyes moistening. “No. I’m really sorry and I went out to buy you the flowers Miss Diana said to mean ‘I’m sorry’ and to get you some food.” She presents you with the paper bag. “I’m sorry.”

You take the bag and notice with surprise it’s from a food truck that parks not too far from Gotham U and that has become your favourite over the last year. “How-” you start to ask when Kara is the one to interrupt you now.

“I took some jar money… it’s your favourite, right?” she asks timidly and you peek into the bag because you don’t want to think of your bab– no, no, no, - of _Kara_ alone in the city.

~ _Yes, it is_ ,~ you say a little robotically and, frankly, you’re at lost and you really, really need Maggie. You leave the bag and flowers on the counter and pick your mug. Maybe caffeine will help? A sip later and you’re grimacing, the taste is wrong and you don’t know why.

Kara looks at you, guiltily, her tears falling. ~ _The coffee is not good? I’m sorry, I didn’t know how to make it. I’m sorry.~_

You blink.

The coffee is off because Maggie didn’t make it.

Kara did.

You shake your head, finally starting to come out of it, finally making sense of what’s happening. Of what Kara did. Of what you’re feeling.

“Bab-” You interrupt yourself for a second, shaking your head to clear your thoughts, even more, catching your mistake just in time. ”Kara, wh-” you start but suddenly the girl is latched at you, embracing your middle and taking your hand to her head, making it comb her hair.

“No, M-Mama, no!” she starts sobbing. “P-Please, Mama! I’m your baby, Mama, p-please! I’m your baby, I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She buries her face on your stomach, wailing, “I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry! I’m your b-baby, I’m your baby! I’m yours, Mama, I’m yours!”

That’s what finally gets you to move.

You have Kara up in your arms in an instant, her legs wrapped around your middle and her face hidden in the crook of your neck. “Oh, my sweet baby, shh,” you coo. “Easy, love, easy, breathe.”

Kara’s cries intensify when you start rocking her. “I’m s-sorry Mama, I’m sorry.”

You sigh and notice that Maggie is now in the room, looking at you concerned. You shake your head thoughtfully, you know you’re the one that needs to comfort Kara right now. “I know, baby, I know. I’m sorry too, sweetheart, I’m sorry too. I forgive you, baby, I forgive you. Can you forgive me too?”

Your girlfriend doesn’t say anything, she just approaches the flowers and bag and peeks at them, frowning. Kara is crying too heavily and you know she’ll start hiccupping soon. “Yes! Yes! I’m s-sorry!” You start crying at her fervent cries. She forgives you. She forgives you.

“Shh, my beautiful girl, shh,” you keep rocking her and you look at Maggie, because right now Kara is a mess, you are a mess and your girlfriend is the one you trust to help you out. But, your girlfriend’s focus is on a card attached to the flowers and then she’s looking at you with pained eyes before rushing to your side and embracing you both.

“My precious ladies,” she breathes out as she squeezes you both, one of Kara’s arms sneaking to hug her by the neck. “Everything is okay, we’re all okay.”

Kara’s cries continue, but your baby is no longer shaking and she’s cuddling with you while forcing Maggie to be closer, nearer.

“We’re all okay, we are okay.”

And for the first time in a week, you believe her.

XxXxX

Kara’s asleep in your arms and you don’t want to move her. You’re cuddled on the couch, the girl – your baby – is in your lap and even in sleep she’s not letting go of you, her unused tiny fist is clutched to your top and her legs are wrapped around you, squeezing every so tightly.

“She was pretty upset last night,” Maggie comments from her spot on the other side of the couch. She had been holding you both for a long time, but hunger won out and she’s now helping you eat the amazing burritos Kara brought you while you still hold your baby.

“I gather…” you mumble around a bite of soft meat. “I didn’t think she’d be this… guilty.”

Because that’s what she’s been feeling, and you hope fervently that she’s no longer feeling as such. Guilty. You could see it in her eyes and it hurts your heart your baby – yes, she’s yours, she’s _yours_ – has to feel as such even for a second. But you can’t do anything to ease her pain other than hold her and make sure she understands she’s loved.

“She went out on her own,” you comment, lightly, still trying to process what she did.

Maggie nods wearily. “She broke the rules, yes. But she wasn’t on her own.”

You frown at that. You are pretty sure Maggie wasn’t with her. “Susan?”

Your girlfriend shakes her head. “No,” she says. She gets up off the couch and go to the flowers, retrieving the card she was looking at intensely before. “She was out with a Miss Diana.”

Something Kara said clicks on your brain.

_I’m really sorry and I went out to buy you the flowers Miss Diana said to mean ‘I’m sorry’ and to get you some food, I’m sorry._

She went out with a Miss Diana.

“What?” you ask and Maggie simply hands you the card. It’s a white generic one, written in a neat cursive script that neither resembles Maggie’s loopy one or your doctor-like chicken scratch. The message is short but to the point, and you feel grateful the universe still has some kindness in it:

_I’m sorry to hear Kara was mean, but I know you can work through this. I met Kara when I substituted for her English teacher last year when she was in maternity leave and she left an impression on me with her advanced vocabulary and quick wit, so, when I saw her today wandering alone, I approached her. She told me everything that happened and I offered to walk with her to the florist and the food truck. I hope you don’t mind, but I didn’t want her to be alone. She’s a sweet kid and bad things happen in this city._

_Miss Diana._

Under the name there’s a phone number and you know Maggie’s going to be checking who the heck that woman is… although now that you think of it, Kara used to rave about a Miss Diana shortly after you moved in to Gotham. You remember that those days the pain was still too fresh and that you were a mess, trying to juggle taking care of Kara full time while attending school and doing your research. Those first weeks you neglected your baby a little bit and it showed on how sullen she looked, but then, she started talking about a teacher that she really liked but was sad that Miss Diana wasn’t going to be her teacher for long.

In hindsight Miss Diana really helped Kara when you couldn’t, when you were unable to, when you were too emotionally stunned to provide Kara any form of reassurance. Your funk didn’t last long, thank Rao, but that kind teacher was there for Kara when you weren’t.

You sigh. “I remember her,” you murmur to Maggie.

“But she still went out without permission.”

“Yes, she did…” you muss. “But I don’t have the heart to ground her again.”

“Tomorrow is laundry day,” Maggie reminds you gently.

You have to smile, because laundry is your chore as washing the car is Maggie’s. “Kara hates folding clothes…”

“There,” Maggie says softly, reaching out to Kara and combing her hair out her forehead, “she’s helping you fold the laundry for a month.”

And you sigh, knowing Kara will be pouting for hours tomorrow.

But everything is fine.

You are fine.

Your family is fine.

Kara is fine.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @reinakonanofate wnated me to pass along a message:
> 
>    
>  _Just three things:_
> 
> _1\. Passive voice is going to be the bane of my existence._
> 
> _2\. Life got in the way of beta reading this chapter, I'm so sorry._
> 
> _3\. Hope it's at least this is half decent, I have lost count of many times I cried while editing this chapter also my apologies, that_
> 
> _“I need that dampener, Alexandra, I need it!” line was my fault, originally Kara was going to call her Mama "Alex." and I made a comment to the author on how Kara at least wasn't angry enough to call her Mama "Alexandra." and well, here we are. I'm sorry again._
> 
> ... what can I say? the Alexandra line was precious.
> 
> Thanks for the tears and for you guys keep reading.
> 
> Also, school is starting to pick up and I was counting on some free days I didn't get to keep writing at the pace I was going... Kismet it's being updated every other day for a while now, but update rate is slowing from now on.
> 
> We're aiming at two chapters per week, so keep posted!


	15. Surfing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~ _Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up!_ ~
> 
> The bed bounces violently as you’re startled awake. You can hear Maggie chuckling at your side and you groan when you feel Kara’s knee press your bladder painfully. ~ _Easy, Kara_ ,~ you grumble.
> 
> Kara giggles, but she stops her assault, collapsing on you. ~ _Wake up, Mama._ ~
> 
> Or, the one where they celebrate Alex's bday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took a little longer than usual, but remember the chapters are getting heavier and also a little longer, so bear with us.
> 
> Beta love to @reinakonanofate for listening to my rants and my rl problems. She's been helping me a lot and not only with the story. So, go say hi to her, people!!!!

~ _Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up!_ ~

The bed bounces violently as you’re startled awake. You can hear Maggie chuckling at your side and you groan when you feel Kara’s knees press your bladder painfully. ~ _Easy, Kara_ ,~you grumble.

Kara giggles, but she stops her assault, collapsing on you. ~ _Wake up, Mama._ ~

You groan again, opening an eye halfway and embracing your kid to your chest. ~ _I’m up, baby. What is it?~_

Your little girl is vibrating with emotion and you have to anchor her to you as she starts floating slightly. Kara’s hair is still mussed from sleep and you can see a little of dried drool on the corner of her mouth. Her puppy onesie is rumpled and you smile at the huge grin she’s giving you. Maggie’s eyes are still closed, but her smirk is too smug for you not to think something is going on between those two.

~ _It’s Saturday, baby,~_ you say when it’s obvious neither is going to speak. _~Why are you waking us up at,~_ you pause to see the clock, resisting the urge to groan again, _~seven am?~_

 _~Happy birthday, Mama!~_ Kara finally bursts out as Maggie sneaks an arm around Kara’s back, pinning her to your body and practically embracing you too.

~ _Happy birthday, love,~_ Maggie kisses your cheek and you’re confused.

~ _… My birthday was two days ago…~_ They have to remember that… they were the ones who chose the cake.

Maggie finally opens her eyes and you see how they spark dangerously. ~ _Yes, but we didn’t get to celebrate it properly with work and school, so, we are celebrating today.~_

You blink once. You blink twice. You blink thrice.

Kara is honest to Rao floating now and you let go of her and she takes the chance to hover quickly off the bedroom. ~ _Slow, Kara!~_ you call to her as she does her version of running in the house.

Maggie just quietly chuckles. “She’s too excited, darling.”

You look at her with an eyebrow raised. “… Why?”

However, Kara’s back, this time walking before Maggie can say anything. She’s carrying a tray full to the brim. ~ _I made pancakes, Mama!~_ she announces proudly.

“Really?” you ask her, truly confused. Cooking is your job… neither of your girls were really good at it, to be honest. Pancakes, however, are Kara’s speciality and they are delicious… but Kara’s usually out with Maggie jogging when you make breakfast so you don’t get to eat her pancakes that often before you two are rushing to school.

It’s been almost a month since you took Kara out of that dreadful school and by now she’s used to going with you at Gotham U and have a handful of Ph.D. students tutor her on her school subjects, so she’s used to getting up earlier, but she’s also used to now have more of free time to wander around school or read in the immense library. Her school work hasn’t slacked, in fact, you’re almost positive that after just a month, she’s starting to already pull ahead. Devon, one of your ducklings, is even teaching Kara Latin and Greek and your girl is taking them up as a fish to the water.

It’s also been almost a month since Kara and Maggie got used to jogging in the early mornings and you and Kara took to spend quiet time in the afternoons, she reads or colours or naps and while you work on your research. You are close, you know it, but you’re also still too far from reaching any decent conclusion. The moment you finish it, though, you’d open a door to many more theories and methods you can use to study alien physiology.

~ _Really, really!~_ Kara exclaims happily, giving you the tray with care. ~ _Mom said it was okay to have breakfast in bed today…?~_ she finishes her statement as a hesitant question because Maggie and Kara know that you hate eating in bed because you’re the one doing the laundry and you are the first to admit you’re a messy eater when you’re relaxed (there’s nothing more relaxing than your queen sized, fluffy, comfy bed) and you really don’t like the extra work you create for yourself.

However one look at Kara’s earnest eyes and you know what your answer will be. ~ _Of course, baby, we can have breakfast in bed today.~_

Kara’s smile could rival the sun and you just have the gut feeling that you’re having an eventful day today.

XxXxX

After tidying up the kitchen, Kara insisted you took a long shower and dress for a whole day in the park. Maggie, once Kara was away showering herself, insisted you made sure you were hair free and that you took the time to really clean up… which was hard since Maggie also insisted on showering with you. It’s always hard to get physical with Maggie when Kara’s awake, but the exercise of trying to be quiet was as much fun as the activities involved… especially since your daughter hasn’t slept in her own bed since her suspension and you simply have to squeeze as much couple time as you could while you can.

Then, when you were dressing, Kara demanded to braid your hair following a tutorial she found on YouTube. It took her nearly half an hour, but you would lie if you say you weren’t impressed with the intricate braid she did and how awesome it looks. It left most of your hair up in a way you know won’t be in the way at all during the day and it also makes you look something you never associated with yourself: hot… it’s weird, but amazing.

Then, Maggie simply put Kara, a couple of backpacks and yourself in the car and started driving. You didn’t even get the chance to ride shotgun, as Kara used a little of her super speed to practically dive into your usual seat, no doubt eager to finally have reached the minimum height to ride in the front seat and fiddle with the radio, which you think is hilarious, since the only place your kid can ride in the front as of now, is Gotham City with its lax laws. Was she a normal child, you’d protested, but really, Maggie and you were in more danger of dying of busted ears with Kara’s music selection than Kara in any accident.

So, you shrugged mentally and sat on the back, taking the chance to snuggle into Kara’s pillow collection and stealing her blanket for a short nap… You got back from the lab late last night and being awakened at the crack of dawn was not your plan for today. A brief shut-eye was in order.

So, when you arrive at your destination, you are surprised to see where you are.

“Wayne Water Park?”

“YES!” Kara jumps in excitement high enough to be considered abnormal and you embrace your baby to yourself mid-float. Someone is eager and you are simply baffled.

“It’s February,” you note out loud, because, really, it hasn’t snowed in a couple of weeks, but it’s still too cold.

“It’s an indoor water park,” Maggie says to you as she picks up the bags from the trunk. “Also, you can rent a surfboard… I heard they have an amazing wave pool.”

At the mention of surfing, you’re instantly perked. It wouldn’t be too far-fetched for Bruce Wayne to actually build a small indoor ocean if he so wished. “Surfing? Real surfing?”

“Yep,” Kara pops the ‘p’ as she wiggles so you let go of her. “Devon says it’s really good. He’s from Jump City, he knows where to surf,” she informs you sagely before she grabs your hand and starts pulling. “C’mon! The park opens in minutes!”

You suddenly understood why Kara woke you up so early on a Saturday, she truly wanted you to spend the day at the park… just not the kind of park you imagined.

And you feel excitement start rising in your chest, it’s been too long since you last surfed and you want to show Maggie your moves.

This day is going to be amazing.

XxXxX

Laughter and the sun are what you seem not to get enough. Bruce Wayne is a genius and you really want to meet the man if only to thank him… the indoor water park really has an indoor beach, with sand, sun, and waves.

Real waves.

The board you rented is top quality, like everything else that surrounds you, and you wonder how much money Maggie had to part with so you could have a day by the ‘ocean’. Yes, Gotham City is a coastal city, but its waters are oily and blackish so they are not really family friendly, besides, the city itself is not known for its sunny skies and warm weather and swimming in the freezing air is simply madness.

The water park, though, is warm and provided with lights that really resemble a vivid sun – your scientific mind wonders what those lamps would do to Kara… you will have to wait and see, in the meantime, you will keep an eye on her – and there’s a salty though strange quality to the air. It really feels like a warm beach and you’re not surprised the place it’s packed, even when the wave pool is relatively empty, Maggie and Kara really put an effort, securing a pretty amazing spot on the sand before many more families arrived.

You are not really into rush rides and Maggie is more of a roller coaster girl, so you have forgone the attractions to focus on the beach even when Kara pouted and begged you to let her try some on her own. You didn’t have to say no, though, when you discovered that Wayne Park has stricter rules than Gotham City when it comes to heights… Kara still has an inch to grow to be allowed on the rides.

Kara knows how to swim, of course, she does, having being raised in a coastal town, but for some strange reason, she begged for a pair of arm floaties and a giant plastic dolphin as a consolation prize for not being able to be on the slides. She was adorable, though, with her pout in place as she floats away in the ‘ocean’, mourning the chance she lost by being a short kid. Luckily, her mood brightened quickly as you and Maggie started surfing and Kara, true to her new koala nature was instantly clinging to you both, taking turns surfing in your boards, and, when she really started to be excited again, making sure that whoever she was surfing with end up losing their footing and crash into the cool water.

You are used to her antics, you know she is going to get tired of sabotaging you and she’ll wander off to build a sand castle, but it melts your heart to see Maggie laughing each and every time she surfaces from beneath after Kara somehow spoiled her turns, forcing her to bail every single time. Kara’s laughter is the loudest and you can’t help, but feel at ease and so, so, so happy.

Maggie and Kara knew what they did when they brought you here.

Soon enough Kara is off to build her castle with her rented tools and that leaves Maggie and you, competing to break the waves in the most daring way, to see who’s the one to manage the first aerial, to see who can carve the barrels the longer. You knew Maggie learned to surf during her summers at Metropolis, and, damn, is she hot and you won’t lie if you admit that most of your own bails came from ogling Maggie for a tad too long.

“Having fun, babe?” Maggie asks you when you decide it’s time for a break. Your spot on the beach is perfect, near enough the water and far enough that your daughter is building her castle within reach of you.

“Hell, yeah!” you breathe out, winded, as you lie down on the towel. It’s been too long since you had such a workout and it shows.

“Jar!”

You snort. Of course, she’s yelling jar even at such a public place. “Yes, Kara,” you concede. “Jar.”

Kara sends a bright smile your way, but her focus is on the monstrosity she’s building. It’s a castle, alright, and the thing is being well-built and sturdy… but it’s almost as tall as she is and for a moment you’re worried she’ll be buried alive. Then, you remember that Kara learned to build her castles from you and you taught her well. There are some kids around her, watching her work, but so far no one has approached her.

The moment other people start asking to mess with that castle, you’ll be there to be sure they all don’t die under that much sand.

Maggie’s at your side, applying another layer of sunscreen. It amazes how Maggie is naturally tanner than you, but even so, you soak up the sun better than her, and you don’t have to use as much sunscreen… it goes without saying that Kara has never needed the stuff and she will never need it. Maggie says that’s because you grew up near the beach and she first saw the ocean when she first visited Lucy after she turned thirteen.

You just think she’s a drama queen that don’t know how to deal with sunburn.

“Are you hungry?” Maggie asks you, the moment she’s done with the nasty white stuff. She smells like cheap coconut and it makes your nose twitch.

“Not really,” you tell her, closing your eyes. “I’m thirsty, though.”

The air leaves you when you feel a sudden wet thing draping on you. “Can we get ice-cream?” You open your eyes to Kara eagerly bouncing just lightly on top of you.

“Kara,” you whine, because you’ve been ignoring your needs for a while, but then Kara has to come and ruin it. “I have to pee now.”

Your kid giggles and you have to remember that Kara loves making your life difficult when she’s having fun. “I hafta go too,” she confesses, as she wiggles, making it even more painful.

Maggie laughs at you two and you glare at her. She coughs, trying to cover it up, failing miserably. “Why don’t you two go for a bathroom break and I go find us some ice-cream?”

“Yes!” Kara’s instantly off you and dancing in place at the edge of the giant towel Maggie somehow managed to acquire and you are suddenly aware that you need to rush. Kara has never had an accident before, but she has come close when she’s too excited or busy having fun. Like she’s doing right now.

You’re up swiftly, extending a hand to your kid. “C’mon, baby, let’s go before we both pee in here.”

Kara latches to you without question and you lead you both with ease to the last bathroom you saw, Kara happily skipping next to you.

You arrive quite fast and a quick scan on the bracelet you were given upon entrance allows you and Kara to enter the family friendly restroom. Really, Wayne thought of everything, the place is big enough for a medium family, but it’s also private and clean enough that you think a mother could feed a baby in there. Only one family is allowed at a time and you and Kara have the place for yourself.

“Go on,” you urge your kid, as you marvel at the thought Bruce Wayne has put into the place.

All your valuables are at a safe near the parking lot and you were given a colour coded bracelet to use within the park. As you understand it, the darker the colour, the more amenities you have access to. Gray, the colour Maggie, Kara and you are wearing, allows you to consume everything within and to have access to family friendly places like the bathroom you are in.

~ _Mama, help_!~ Kara calls to you, whining pretty much as you did not so long ago.

You go to the single stall and notice the problem immediately. Kara’s wearing a short-sleeved wetsuit and she’s struggling with taking it off. Her arms are almost off, but she’s somehow managed to tangle herself with the material.

You have to smile because you haven’t noticed you missed helping Kara out a wet swimsuit. You just realize that you actually missed the ease that comes with the ocean, the peace of riding a wave knowing that on the beach there’s Kara, trying to outdo her last castle, trying to build a little masterpiece. You miss the tranquillity that will come once you are home, sun-kissed and tired, languid and ready to sleep solidly for hours and wake up the next morning full of energy.

“Thank you,” you tell Kara honestly as you embrace her because, suddenly, you feel the need to let her know how much this day is meaning to you.

“Mama?” Kara stops struggling with her suit and she looks up at you, confused.

You smile and say easily, “This is the best birthday I’ve ever had, baby. Thank you.”

Kara nods, suddenly solemn. “I know,” she tells you. “It’s your best birthday ever for me, too. But Mama… I have to pee!”

And you laugh, because your kid is priceless and, yes, this is your best birthday ever.

XxXxX

After your bathroom break, you start helping Kara finish her giant castle. If you were alone, you’d let Kara go on unassisted, but the beach is packed and the thing is officially now taller than Kara and your daughter can’t really start floating like she did back home when she couldn’t reach something. So, you’re now helping with a castle that’s starting to look like the one from the Little Mermaid.

Maggie left to buy you some ice-cream treats when you got back, something about not wanting to leave your stuff unsupervised… you get the feeling she too was concerned that those little kids would start messing up with the castle and die a horrible, sandy, death.

“Amazing skills, there,” a velvet voice calls to you and you look up from where you are moulding some sand into tiny windows.

You look the woman up and down. The first thing you notice is her body. She’s clad in a bikini that shows everything she has to offer and you know that if you weren’t in a relationship you’d totally try to bang that. The second thing you notice is the black bracelet she’s wearing on her right wrist, making her one of those few that have total access to the whole park. The third thing you notice, though, makes you snort.

The crest of the House of El is on her left breast, big enough to cover her whole boob. “Fan of Superman?” you ask her.

The woman snorts back at you, taking off her sunglasses and leaving them to rest atop her unruly red hair. “Heavens no!” she says with a laugh. “I loathe the man… no… I’m more of a bat person. This… this was a gag gift.”

You nod with a smirk as you rise. “Well, a woman after my own heart. I hate Superboy too.”

The woman gets an eyeful of you and, damn, you still have it. You love Maggie with all your heart and you will never do anything to put your relationship in danger, but it’s nice to know that you’re still hot. That you still have people turning their head to you.

And you know it’s silly, you just turned twenty-four, but you really feel older than your years and this kind of attention reminds you you’re still young. That there’s still too much to do.

The woman smirks. “I’m glad to hear that… not many people see past the ‘s’.”

You shrug. “I’ve known people who share my views.”

The woman is a step closer to you then. “Really?” Her voice has gone down an octave. “Do you think I could share some too?”

You want to laugh because this situation it’s ridiculous and, frankly, you don’t feel offended at what you’re perceiving as some friendly flirting. Maybe you’re reading the thing wrong, but you don’t get anything other than amusement from the woman before you, so you play along. “Why don’t you start sharing your name?”

“Kate, darling.” She takes your hand in hers, bowing slightly and dropping a fake kiss to the back of it. “Enchanté.”

Something rattles your memory, but even so, you can’t help, but snort again. Who’s this clown and why are you not feeling threatened in any way? “Well, Kate Darling, it’s a pleasure. I’m Alex.”

“Mama!” Kara shrieks and you look away from dull green eyes to frantically search for your daughter. Kara comes into view in a second and she attaches herself to your middle, almost toppling you over.

“Hey, baby,” you look down to her, gently placing the hand Kate has been holding on top of her head. “What’s the matter?” You can’t see why Kara suddenly decided to cry out or why she’s suddenly hugging you with that much force.

“Where’s Mom?” she whines like she does when she’s lost Krypto only to find him in the bottom of her socks’ drawer. “I want Mom!”

You see from the corner of your eye how Kate bites her lip to prevent that laughter you see in her eyes from escaping. “I don’t know Kara,” you tell her honestly. “Why don’t you keep with the castle? I’m sure Mom will be here soon enough.”

Kara whines, “no! I want Mom!”

Kate’s lost the fight and it’s now laughing at your side and you smile because you can see what Kara’s doing. You’re thrown back to when Kara used to cockblocking you whenever she could, calling you, mom left and right and chasing your suitors away. That’s she’s also making a point of reminding you Maggie’s going to be back, it’ priceless. “I’m sorry, Kara,” you tell her with mirth in your tone. “Your Mom is not around right now and Mama’s talking with the nice lady, why don’t you say hi? She called your skills amazing.”

“Oh, is this little lady the author of this masterpiece?” Kate bends slightly to the waist, to be more at Kara’s level. “Lady Kara, isn’t it? I really love your castle, princess, it’s quite impressive.”

You have to bite the inside of your cheek to stop the laughter you feel bubbling up. Kara’s face it’s suddenly hot and she hides it on your side, blushing like mad. “Thanks,” she mumbles against your skin.

“Your kid it’s too cute!” Kate says earnestly and you get the feeling that she’s struggling not to scoop Kara in her arms. “You two are definitely coming with me for some ice-cream.”

You like Kate, you do, but going on a date when this woman knows that you have a kid and that the kid has another mother, is simply not going to happen. You are about to tell her that when an annoyed voice reaches your ears.

“Piss off, Kane, get your own woman and kid.”

Kate’s amused eyes are trained to just above your shoulder and you turn to see Maggie scowling, two cones of ice-cream in one hand and a frozen yogurt in the other. You are about to speak, you know now what your brain was trying to tell you when Kate beats you to it.

“Relax, Sawyer,” she says with an easy smile. “I’m sure the lovely Alex and charming Kara will let you tag along. I promised them a good time.”

Maggie’s scowl deepens, but you know she’s not mad. The shine in her eye lets you know she’s actually having fun with this. Kara, however, can’t see it and you feel how she tightens her hug. You kneel, letting her sneak her arms around your neck and you start combing her slightly matted hair, cooing easily. “Shh, baby. Everything it’s okay.”

Kate, it’s looking at you for a second with regret in her eyes before she turns to Maggie again. “Damn, Sawyer, we’re scaring the kid.”

Maggie shakes her head and goes to you. “Hey, sunshine, here’s your cone.” She passed the girl her chocolate treat and you your strawberry one. Now with a hand free, she joins you,  rubbing Kara’s head. “Kara, I want you to meet someone special to me.”

You have to smirk at that because you were right.

“Mom?” Kara let go of you so she can hold Maggie’s board shorts, her ice cream forgotten for now.

“Sunshine, meet Kate Kane,” she bends so her lips are close to Kara’s ears, but you’re close enough that you can hear her too. “AKA, Batwoman.”

Kara’s sharp intake of breath threatens you to start laughing again. If there’s a superhero Kara actually likes, it’s Batwoman. “R-Really?”

“Really, really,” you tell her because, yes, Maggie has spoken of Kate Kane often enough, even when it marvels you how easy their relationship is. “She’s also your mom’s ex, baby.”

At that Kara’s eyes, which had been fixated on Kate turn sharply to Maggie. “Mom?!” She asks in a little squeak that kind of make you think of a chipmunk.

Maggie rubs the back of her neck. “Not the best moment of my life,” she admits.

“Hey!” Kate protests loudly. “We made a kick ass couple!”

Maggie shakes her head, dramatically, and you snort yet again as Kara looks between the two women, amazed. “I almost died twice,” Maggie laments.

“Nobody told you to leap from that ledge!”

“It was that or a bullet, you nut.”

“Again, nobody told you to follow me.”

“You dashed off mid-date, I needed to make sure you didn’t die. You are not Catwoman, you don’t have nine lives!”

“I’m better than a cat!”

“A cat it’s cute… you’re just annoying.”

You laugh at their stupid banter and at how Kara’s head switch between the two, following their comebacks as if they were a tennis match. “Quit it out, you two,” you tell them, chuckling.

It amazes you how, when it came to the ‘ex-talk’, Maggie spoke fondly of most of her past girlfriends. It also amazed you, impressed you, how Maggie admitted to still meet with a couple of them nowadays to catch up and chat for a while. When she said she dated socialite Kate Kane, you had to scoff because what a GU student could do to impress a rich girl known for doing stupid stuff?

Then, Maggie confided in you who Kate really is and something made a little more sense, you came to understand how Maggie knows every niche were non-humans roam and what parts of the city to avoid at all cost. You also learned that Maggie was the one to call the relationship off because Kate Kane was all party and no study and it was starting to affect Maggie’s performance at school and at the Academy.

And you also learned that Maggie was the one that introduced Kate to her nowadays girlfriend Renee.

Kate pouts and Maggie snorts and Kara turns to you. “Mama,” she asks, licking her ice-cream. “why don’t you and mom go surf and I stay here with Miss Kate?”

Kate beams at that, but Maggie is suddenly the one killing that plan before it even takes flight. “No, no, no, no, no,” she says. “I’m not leaving you with miss I-killed-the-plant-my-girlfriend-gave-me-because-I-forgot-to-water-it.”

“It was just one time,” Kate grumbles.

“Of course it was just one time… I wouldn’t let you come near a plant after that.”

Kate’s eyes then turn to you again. “Say, Alex, Kara…” she says with a smirk that screams mischief. “Why don’t we ditch Maggie and you two and I go surfing?”

“Easy, Kane,” Maggie warns. “Remember I have your woman on speed dial.”

Kate waves her hand, dismissively. “Renee is around here somewhere, I’m sure she’ll love to keep you company if you ask nicely.”

Maggie growls and Kara giggles and you simply shake your head.

This is too bizarre.

“Oh, shoot!” Kate smacks her fist to her forehead. “I forgot you have a type! Ya know… redhead, stormy eyes, body to die for…”

“Are you implying my body it’s not to die for?” An unamused voice calls from behind Kate, making the formidable Batwoman startle.

“Renee!” Kate, it’s suddenly attached to the tall woman that you now identify as Renee. Renee is wearing a tankini not too different from yours and she levels a pretty impressive glare to the bubbly redhead. “I’ve missed you so much!”

And you sit on the sand cross-legged, Kara instinctively climbing on your lap, mirroring how you used to spend hours gazing into the ocean together because your little girl is intelligent, she knows you two are in for a show.

XxXxX

After watching amused how Renee chewed Kate off, the five of you spend the rest of the day together. You learn that Kate surfs as good as she fights and that Renee it’s a pretty amazing castle builder. You know Batwoman was out-of-town for over a year and that Renee was doing a joint job at Metropolis for most of that time, so you don’t get to wonder why you didn’t meet the unlikely duo before, albeit you do lament not meeting them sooner.

Kara spends most of her time alternating between Kate and yourself, forgoing Maggie and Renee almost completely. When Maggie asks why she was being ignored, Kara looks at her with such a deadpan look that you crackle: “You and Miss Renee are talking about boring cop things… Miss Kate and Mama know how to have fun.”

And yes, Maggie and Renee spend some time talking about how things are going in Gotham while tanning and after hearing part of it, you decided that their conversation it’s too heavy for such a lovely day.

“Have you heard from Fred?” Maggie asks.

“Fred? Horn and tail, Fred?” Renee asks back.

“Yeah…”

“We don’t know anything… he’s been gone for three weeks… there are rumours…”

“Rumours?”

“A van is taking them…”

After hearing that, you decide that it’s time to join the two loons that have bonded in such a short period of time that it scares you.

You find them chasing each other with water guns and you take the time to see them interact.

“No!!!!!” Kate clutches at her heart when Kara’s aims her water gun at her and let it loose. “I have been defeated, no, I’m dying! I’m dying! I’m dead!”

Kara laughs at the prone form on the sand that’s lying oh so still. “Auntie Kate! You’re not dead!” your girl squeals as she drapes over her, making your heart clench happily as you watch the two roll around.

“Did you hear that?!” Kate yells at you happily. “I’m an aunt!”

Kara’s suddenly frozen over her, suddenly shy. “I-It’s that okay?” she asks her in a timid voice, perplexing Kate.

You go to your girl and pick her up to rest on your hip. “I think Auntie Kate will be happy to be called that, baby.”

Kate is instantly on her feet, running at top speed to Renee’s lying form and flopping on her with her back to Renee’s chest. “I’m an aunt!” she yells happily to the sky.

You bounce Kara. “See? She’s happy,” you point out.

Renee pats her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Good for you, Walnut.”

“Are you Auntie Renee, then?” Batwoman asks impishly and you understand how Kara and Kate could bond so easily.

They are the same kinds of brats.

“If Kara wishes to.”

Kara wiggles to be put down, running to the two women, jumping on top Kate’s stomach and making Renee grunt. “Hi, Auntie Renee!”

Maggie snorts and you sigh. Yep, those two are two peas in a pod.

“Hey, Sawyer, this means I’m entitled to babysit my brand new baby niece soon!”

“Like hell you are!”

“Jar!”

Maggie glares at the pile of two brats. “Kate Kane, you are not babysitting my daughter on your own and I know Renee will not help you with this.”

“It was just a plant!” Kate wails, still sandwiched between Kara and Renee.

You take the time to go sit next to Maggie, humming softly when one of Maggie’s hands starts rubbing your lower back. “Just a plant!” your girlfriend snorts. “If you can’t take care of a plant, you’re not taking care of my kid!”

Kate harrumphs for a second before she’s bending ever so slightly to murmur in Kara’s ear. The kid nods sharply and you should not be surprised when suddenly there are two brats kneeling by Maggie, their hands clasped together in a begging motion and pout on her lips.

“Pleaaaaaaase?” they ask together. “Pleaaaaaase?”

Maggie face palms and Renee snorts and you sigh yet again.

Why did Maggie have to have such strange friends?

Maggie is suddenly up and tickling Kate and Kara, much to Renee’s torment as she’s suddenly beneath not two, but three females wrestling around.

You see how Maggie’s smiling and how Kate’s laughter and Kara’s squeals fill the air. You see Maggie, the woman you love with all your heart, mock fighting with her ex-girlfriend, a woman that she spent almost a year with, a woman you know was, is, too important to her.

You saw their easy banter, their familiarity and you wonder that if, if Maggie and you were ever to part ways, you too could have that with her. To be able to run into each other at the beach and turn a family outing into something more, into something special. To have the trust to flirt with her new girlfriend, to know that there are no hard feelings between you two.

Knowing Maggie, it’s highly possible that she would still be around even after you two move on with your lives, if only for Kara’s sake… but does it really matter?

You smile.

Maggie is your soul mate and she’s never leaving your side.

There’s no point on dreaming on things that will never come pass.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @reinakonanofate wants you to know something:
> 
>  
> 
> _Hey, Charis, readers, I just want to let you all know that I'm very happy at the moment, Lena is not a villain, Lena didn't die and Supergirl saved her *cough girlfriend cough* and I'm also happy because we got #Sanvers kissing, #Sanvers being badasses together, Alex being absolutely awesome, Supergirl saving her sister and hundreds of aliens, now this is the Supergirl ( The show ) that I remember, this is the Supergirl ( The show ) that we all know and love. Unfortunately for you and me this episode aired while I was doing the final touches to this chapter and I got kind of... distracted, hope I did a good job editing this chapter, if not I blame #SuperCorp and #Sanvers._
> 
>  
> 
> ... Don't blame her, she got the chapter done on time... it was me that took too long to update it.
> 
> Thoughts? Too fluffy? Want more angst?


	16. Graduation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want a suit.”
> 
> “Sunshine, we’re picking up yours and Mama’s dress, not a suit. We need to hurry before they close.”
> 
> Kara pouts at the floor even as you keep walking, pulling her along by the hand. “But, I want a suit.”
> 
> “Kara, you said you wanted a dress last week.”
> 
> “I changed my mind…”
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where Maggie finally graduates, Kara doesn't get to wear a suit and Alex is a tired muffin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the wait!!!!
> 
> In our defence, this one it's almost 9000 words long...
> 
> Beta love to @reinakonanofate, for putting up with my craziness on daily basis so we can present you this beauty.
> 
> Go say hi to her, people!!!!

“I want a suit.”

“Sunshine, we’re picking up yours and Mama’s dress, not a suit. We need to hurry before they close.”

Kara pouts at the floor even as you keep walking, pulling her along by the hand. “But, I want a suit.”

“Kara, you said you wanted a dress last week.”

“I changed my mind…”

You sigh. When you decided Kara was joining you in picking up the dresses so she didn’t stay on her own, you didn’t take into account that going to a mall with Kara it’s a pain in the ass. Depending on her mood, Kara is the shyest girl in the world or the more impish one when it comes to that many stores in one big place. You haven’t gone back to Wayne Mall to see if they still remember Kara… you were kind of banned from there and you really don’t want to see if they’ll fulfil that promise.

“Kara, you’ve wanted a dress for weeks now… why do you want a suit suddenly?”

Kara looks up at you and adheres herself to your middle, making you stop. “You’re wearing a suit. I wanna wear one too.”

And you suddenly understand the change of heart.

Your formal uniform arrived from the cleaners and Kara was the one to receive the delivery guy while you were finishing dinner. She surely saw the formal suit. So, even when you three went dress fitting for both Alex and Kara a few weeks ago, she started saying she wanted a suit shortly after you left home to go pick up said dresses.

“Kara, sunshine.” You gather your kid into your arms, settling her on your hip. “The gala is in two days, love, even if we get you fitted for a suit now, it wouldn’t be ready in time.”

Kara’s lower lip starts trembling and she sneaks an arm around your neck, she drowsily rests her cheek on your collarbone. “But, I want to wear a suit,” she mumbles miserably, rubbing one of her eyes with her fist.

You have to smile at the sight as you keep walking with your girl in your arms. The gala is in two days and both you and Alex have been running yourselves ragged trying to do everything in your power to be ready for it, sweeping Kara into your madness. Alex is spending many hours in the lab, tidying everything up so she could have the day of the gala and the weekend off. You, on the other hand, were busy with rehearsals, last minute instructions and the very last examinations and your poor daughter was feeling the stress.

Today you had your last physical and then you picked Kara up from Vasquez’s house to have a rushed dinner and then ran to the mall to beat the closing hour and your girl never complained. You’re still waking Kara at five thirty for a morning run and you’re almost certain your girl didn’t have her midday nap, so at least you now know that Kara wasn’t being a bratty brat, she was just tired and grumpy.

“How about this, next gala we attend, we can choose you a suit from the beginning, hm?”

“Promise?” Kara asks, still miserable, letting her body go boneless in your arms, her thumb starting to caress her pouting lip.

“Promise, baby,” you drop a kiss to her hairline. “Why don’t you close your eyes for a little bit, hm?”

“No,” Kara whimpers, but her eyes are dropping. “I want ice-cream…”

“We can have ice-cream as soon as we pick up the dresses, love... if we hurry.”

“Okay,” Kara mumbles, her breathing evening out.

“Good girl,” you sigh the moment she’s completely still… maybe now you can stop rocking her around and actually be able to pick those dresses.

XxXxX

The front door opens and you stir from your light slumber. You knew Alex was arriving late tonight, but you frown when you see it’s past midnight and you realize that you fell asleep waiting for her.

“Hey, love,” Alex greets you as soon as she sees you, lying on the couch.

You sit up and stretch. “How was your day?” you ask around a yawn.

Alex comes around to give you a quick kiss. “Long. And yours?”

“Exhausting,” you answer her before giving her another quick peck. “There’s a plate with your name on it, in the fridge.”

Alex’s nose crinkle. “I’m not hungry,” she states. “Thanks anyway.”

You look at her oddly as she drapes across the rest of the couch, putting her head on your lap. “Did you have dinner?” Because, really, Alex never eats take out on her own, something along the lines of it reminding her of her days when she was truly and utterly on her own, way before Kara was in her care.

“No, but I’m too tired to chew.”

“Alex… you need to eat something.”

Your girlfriend whines as she turns in your lap, burying her nose on your stomach. “I’ll drink a glass of milk or something… I’m really too tired to do anything other than sleep.”

You chuckle. “Then get going to bed, darling. I’ll make you a smoothie.”

Alex whines again, but she does as told and rose from the couch to head silently to your room. You’re certain that if she were Kara, she’d be floating instead of walking to save the energy.

And you chuckle because Kara is really Alex’s carbon copy and you couldn’t be happier to get to see this soft side of the scary Doctor Danvers.

You make your girlfriend her smoothie in record time (milk, strawberry, honey and almonds in a tall glass with Alex’s favourite metal straw) and rush to join her on the bed. If you’re quick enough, you might even convince Alex to drink the whole thing before she falls asleep, even when you know that’s not going to happen. As it is, you will be lucky to catch Alex still awake.

When you enter the room, the sight that greets you, makes your heart soar.

During some point of your unplanned nap, Kara moved to your bed and she’s sound asleep, curled in the middle with her head resting on your pillow and her arms wrapped around Alex’s pillow. You can hear the water running in the bathroom and, soon enough, Alex joins you, her face recently scrubbed and with her glasses on.

“We have a pest problem,” she informs you dryly as she takes the smoothie from your hand.

You snort, amused. “It’s your fault,” you tease her as she slurps her dinner through the straw. “She is well behaved when you are not around.”

Alex snorts back at you and a little of the smoothie comes out of her nose. She starts a coughing fit, no doubt having almost died by smoothie asphyxiation, and that somehow is funny.

“’ama?” Kara mumbles around her thumb from the bed.

You go to Kara while Alex goes to the bathroom to clean herself up. “Hey, sunshine,” you shush her gently as she opens her eyes wearily. ~ _Go back to sleep_.~

Your girl shakes her head. ~ _Wan’ ‘ama_.~

~ _Mama’s a little busy at the moment, sweetheart_ ,~ you tell her with a smile because you can hear Alex trying to breathe from the bathroom and for some reason that’s hilarious.

Kara’s eyes start to moisten and you know she’s still out of it. For some reason she’s been overly emotional since your trip to the mall, so you’re not that surprised to see her have a mini meltdown right now. She hasn’t cried until now, but she’s spent all evening attached to your side and being quieter than usual. You know she’s tired, not sad or angry, just tired, just like you and Alex are tired. ~ _Wan’ ‘ama_!~ she cries sucking harder on her thumb.

~ _Hey, hey, Kara_.~ You sit beside her, taking her hand and kissing her palm. ~ _Hey, love, easy. Why the sudden tears?~_

Kara’s tears start to roll down her cheeks. ~ _Mama gone_.~ Slurring her words a bit and you knew she won’t remember a thing in the morning. She’s practically still asleep.

~ _Mama’s here, love,_ ~ you tell her with a smile. ~ _She’s in the bathroom._ ~

Kara sits up, trying to see through the doorway to the bathroom. ~ _Mama_!~

~ _I’m here, Kara_ ,~ Alex says as she emerges, still rubbing her nose. ~ _Why are you crying?~_

“ _Mama!_ ” Kara makes grabby hands and you know then and there that you too are too tired. In any other circumstance seeing Kara crying would make you sad, but right now everything is simply funny.

Alex seems to be having similar issues, as she’s not reacting as she usually does when her baby girl is in tears. She still goes to the kid, scooping her in her arms, but she’s not fussing over her, she’s just holding her. ~ _Hey, baby, shh, I’m here_.~

~ _Mama no go?_ ~ Kara mumbles as her thumb goes back into her mouth.

~ _Mama no go_ ,~ Alex reassures her.

Kara’s out before her tears dry and Alex places her on the bed again. “She’s tired,” she comments unnecessarily.

“We all are,” you tell her easily, climbing on your side.

“Do you know if she had a nap?” Alex goes back into the bathroom for her smoothie.

“Vasquez didn’t say,” you answer her as you comb Kara’s hair out her eyes. She’ll need a haircut before the gala. You’re so glad one of Alex’s first inventions were a pair of lead lined Kryptonite shears that allow Kara’s hair to be tamed most of the time. “She fell asleep on me at the mall, though.”

Alex nods as she finishes her dinner. “She needs an early night and a late morning. She’s been napping too much during the day.”

You groan in empathy. You too, need an early night and a late morning. Kara has the advantage of having a really nice couch available for her in Alex’s office at the school, but you don’t have that luxury. Once the ceremony it’s over with, maybe you will have the chance to catch some Zzz’s, but in the meantime, you need to push through. Kara doesn’t need to suffer with you, though. “I will let her sleep tomorrow morning, she’s been having trouble waking up to go running.”

“No.” Alex shakes her head, turning off the lights. “She’ll never forgive us. Running with you, it’s the highlight of her morning.”

“I thought breakfast was the highlight of her morning,” you mumble with your eyes closed, an arm hugging Kara from behind.

“… Fine, it’s the second highlight of her morning.” You can feel Alex burrowing in the sheets and how her arm goes to lay beside yours over Kara. “But, really, go run with her. I’m not spending the whole day in the lab tomorrow, so she’ll be with me after her classes. I will put her to sleep while I finished my paperwork.”

“Are you sure?” you ask her, not really hearing her.

“Sure, sure. Go to sleep. I love you.”

“Love ya too.”

XxXxX

Today is the day.

After years of studying, of working your ass off, of juggling college with the Academy, of working in the streets for weeks at a time, of pushing your body to its limits.

Today is that day.

You earned all your credits at school and you have passed all the courses at the Academy with flying colours.

You are ready to join the force.

You are ready to be considered a true officer.

Today is the day.

“Nervous?”

You take a deep breath, turning to Silva, who’s going to give the accepting speech of your generation. “Of course I am,” you tell her. “This is one of my greatest achievements.”

“Oh, really?” Douglas says from beside you. “This was brutal, what’s your greatest achievement, then?”

You want to scoff at his statement. Douglas, as most of your generation, focused only in the Academy, finishing it in the mandatory two years when you and a handful of others, decided to not only go through it but also pursue a degree at Gotham University, adding your time at the Academy up to three years. Now, that’s brutal, not the coddling Douglas and the rest were privy of. Adding to that the extra training you and few others went through to be able to be part of the Science Division…

“Surely the partner and kid,” Silva comments amused.

Douglas, and the rest of your colleagues that are within earshot look at you, interested. They have been bothering you for information ever since that officer came looking for you when the school called you in. They are constantly trying to dig information out of you and Silva, but the other woman just told them you had a partner and a kid and left it at that.

Giving them that little information was almost like giving a thirsty man just a sip of water. You are not even sure if they know your partner is a woman.

“Of course they are my biggest achievement,” you tell them, proudly. With any luck, you won’t see most of them ever again. The Science Division is housed Down Town and you know the rest of them will be assigned to different stations all over the city and others will even leave town altogether to return to their home cities’ police forces. Silva and you will probably be partnered as soon as you are assigned and at least you’re glad you two already know how to work together.

“Will we see them tonight?”

“Of course.”

You’re at the Academy’s canteen at the moment, chilling after taking care of all last minute paperwork you need to do to officially be considered part of the police force come the gala. Alex and Kara are probably getting ready as you try not to stab your eyes in boredom. You only needed to finish those miles long papers and have your very last interview with your superiors to be given permission to go wait for the others.

An hour before the gala is set to start, all of you would be escorted to the hotel so you can all arrive pretty and together in a little parade of police cars. You still have some time to kill until then, though, while you wait the rest of your colleagues are done with their part of the paperwork.

“How’s the bloke?” Johnson asks, getting closer to you. She’s a tall blonde woman who always want to know all the juicy details of everyone’s love life.

“Ugly,” you answer her shortly because she never said which bloke and right now you’re looking at Douglas and you’re _bored_.

Silva snorts but doesn’t comment, leaving Johnson too confused to even try to get an explanation out of you.

Really, you’re bored and you don’t know what to do with your life at the moment.

“Say, Sawyer, are you taking your partner’s last name when you marry?” Silva asks you when it’s obvious no one has anything to talk about.

You smile at that. “I don’t know,” you tell her honestly. “We haven’t talked about marriage.”

Johnson startles at that, having found a new bone to chew on. “You have a kid together and you’re not married?” she asks, curiously. “Isn’t that a bit risky? I mean, my sister did that, but the asshole dumped her after my nephew turned two.”

Your smile widens. “The kid was there when we started dating. Kara’s eleven.”

Johnson’s eyes widen. “Damn, Sawyer. Dating someone with a pre-teen is ballsy. How old is he?”

“Alex’s twenty four,” you tell her as Silva’s interest is sparked.

“Wait, what? Alex’s twenty four and Kara’s eleven?! Those are just thirteen years of difference!”

Johnson, and the rest of those that are paying attention, turn to you, confused.

Your smile turns into a smirk. You wanted to shock people once Alex and Kara meet you at the gala, but messing with them right now is proving too funny. “Good, Silva. And here I thought you failed math.”

Silva glares at you, but she doesn’t get to say anything as your commanding instructor comes in. “Okay, people, it’s time to get going!”

You are all up in an instant, ready to get out the Academy for the last time.

After this, you won’t get to see this halls and rooms unless you come back as an instructor at some point.

Today is the day.

XxXxX

You have to give it to Silva, her speech was amazing and the clapping hasn’t stopped yet.

Mayor Grange is now shaking Silva’s hand for a photo and you are suddenly aware that it’s over.

It’s final.

You are a now a brand new Science Division police officer, ready to take on the streets and help contain unnatural forces and, with time, rally in favour of those non-humans that have to hide from the humans.

You’re a police officer.

You are still on the raised dais, waiting for the people before you to leave so can take your place at your table to have dinner and start smooching. Most of your colleagues are mingling among themselves as the photos are taken and you wait patiently to the side, seeing everything and simply waiting to join your family, but apparently, someone has other plans.

“Mom!” Kara’s overexcited voice is the only warning you have before your girl attaches to you. The little girl looks up at you, resting her chin on your lower sternum, not caring she practically parted officers left and right to get to you and that all eyes are on you two. “Congratulations, Mom!”

“Kara!” Alex’s embarrassed voice is heard easily in the silence that follows Kara’s little show.

You chuckle as Kara’s eyes widen in shock, finally realizing what she did. She looks left and right, seeing how everybody is smiling bemused at her. Her cheeks heat up a bit and she blushes as she hides her face in your stomach. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles against your jacket.

One of your hands goes to her hair, resting it there. Alex has put your girl’s long locks into a high bun with curls hanging from it and you don’t rub it in fear of messing her nice hairdo. “It’s okay, love,” you tell her honestly. “C’mon, let’s hand you over to your Mama.”

You pick your girl up, making sure her dress is properly covering her, and start marching toward where you last saw Alex in the crowd, your girl’s face hidden in the crook of your neck.

“Officer Sawyer!” your name is heard and you internally wince.

You turn to where the Chief Sargent is and you curse in your mind. He’s standing next to James Gordon and Mayor Grange. The two men are looking at you expectantly, but the woman has an easy smile on her face. Gulping lightly, you go to them with a fake smile on your face.

“Sir?” you ask as soon as you approached them, not sure if the man will only be his grumpy self or he’s actually mad at Kara’s antics.

Sargent Jefferson looks you up and down. “This kid yours?” he asks in his gruff voice.

“Yes, Sir.”

The Mayor smiles friendly, her teeth showing a little. “Hello, little one.”

Kara turns so she can peek and you know it’s okay to put her down now. Settling Kara on her feet, you turn her to face the other three adults, leaving your hands on her shoulders as support. “Say hi, sweetheart.”

Kara’s shy voice barely reaches your ears. “Hello,” she says in such a tiny voice she almost resembles a mouse. “Nice to meet you.”

The Mayor bends ever so lightly to try to meet Kara’s downcast eyes. “Nice to meet you, too. My name is Marion, what’s yours?”

Kara looks up to you for a second and you give her an encouraging smile. The Mayor is pretty chill and the few times you’ve played security for her, she looked to be pretty down to earth and not like the other politicians you’ve had to shadow for hours. Also, Jefferson seems to be mildly amused at the situation, so you know everything is fine.

“I’m Kara,” she tells her after a pause. “I like your name.”

The Mayor’s smile widens. “I like your name, too, Kara. Excited your mama is now a police officer?”

Kara’s nose twitches and you bite your lip, not knowing why she’s suddenly defensive. “I’m happy my _mom_ is a police officer,” she says, putting emphasis on the word ‘mom’. “She worked hard and she likes helping people. I’m happy she finally can do that,” she informs the Mayor curtly.

Jefferson laughs at the attitude your girl is suddenly displaying. “Too old to call your mother mama?” he asks, amused.

Kara’s nose twitches again and you squeeze her shoulders in warning. “No. I’ll never be too old to call my Mama mama.” She looks at the man fiercely.

And then you understand. This is the first time Kara gets to meet people that aren’t aware that she has two mothers since the Mike accident. Vasquez was there when you started dating Alex and you know for a fact that Alex’s interns are aware their boss is a helpless romantic lesbian (their words, not yours) and you can understand a little where she’s coming from.

She’s being protective of you.

“Easy, sunshine,” you tell her. “They haven’t met your Mama yet, you’re confusing them. Why don’t you go find Mama and come back?”

Kara looks at you, sceptically, but does as she’s told. With a brief ‘excuse me’ she is gone in search for your partner.

You can feel three pairs of eyes on you and you have to stop yourself from fidgeting like Kara does when you’re scolding her. “So, you are Mom,” it’s the first thing that comes out James Gordon. “And she also has a Mama.”

You nod, suddenly weary. “Yes, Sir.”

The man mulls the information. “And your kid is adopted?”

You nod again, not really knowing where he is going.

He suddenly smiles. “Know Renee Montoya?”

His question startles you. “Yes?”

“It’s good to have more people like her in the force.” His eyes bore into your shoulder, locking no doubt in the rank that marks your speciality. “Especially in the Science division.”

You blink at that. This is not what you were expecting. “Thank you, sir.”

Jefferson looks at Gordon with a raised eyebrow but doesn’t comment before turning to you. “Just, please tell us your partner is not like Montoya’s. We can’t deal with more than one of those.”

And you have to snort at that because he’s right. Not even the universe could deal with more than one Kate Kane.

XxXxX

Alex and Kara find you, no long after Gordon complimented you and after introductions were done, you are free to go sit at your table and wait for the food to be served. At your right sits Kara and at her right is Alex, who is talking with your alien physiology instructor. On your left sits Silva and next to her, her date, a dark skinned, wild curls and bright smile woman, a woman that’s currently making funny faces to Kara at the moment.

“Didn’t know you batted for the other team,” you tell Silva quietly and a little surprised. Your gaydar never went off with her.

Silva smiles. “I can be flexible.” She looks at her date. “Harper and I have been together for a while now… I think she might be the one,” she tells you in the same quiet voice.

You smile. “I’m glad.”

“Mom,” Kara tugs at your jacket’s sleeve. “I’m hungry.”

“I know baby, but we need to wait for a little bit.”

Kara’s brow crinkles. “Why?”

“Because people are still looking for their seats and they are first serving drinks for us adults. When Renee comes sit with us, it’ll be time for us to eat, okay?” Renee is part of the organizing committee and once she’s sitting is the clear sign that the time to eat has come.

Kara’s eyes widen. “Auntie Renee is here?” she asks before sitting on her knees so she can survey the room from over her chair’s backrest. “Where?”

Alex gently pats Kara’s bottom. “Sit, Kara.”

“But-”

“Kara.” Alex’s tone is not stern, but it gets her point across and your girl sit with a pout, leaving Alex free to return to her previous chat.

“Is Auntie Kate here too?” your girl asks you in a hopeful voice.

You look around, trying to find Kate’s fiery hair among the people that’s still mingling about. “She should, sunshine, but I don’t see her.” You turn back to Kara. There is a handful of kids off to the side, playing a mild game of tag, but you know for a fact that Kara won’t be joining them and your girl looks bored. “Want to play on my phone?”

Kara nods as you pass her the device. Before Kara, the only games you ever had was Snake and Worms, but now you have a handful of games that your girl can play when she’s bored and she doesn’t have any books with her. She is truly Alex’s girl, preferring books over her toys in many occasions.

“You never told me how Alex had Kara so young,” Silva says to you once she’s sure Kara’s focus is somewhere else.

You look at Alex, knowing she heard her and she nods to you before refocusing on her companion. “She’s Alex baby sister,” you explain to Silva. “Their parents died a couple of years ago and Kara took to call Alex Mama.”

“Mama’s always been Mama,” Kara comments lightly, the tip of her little tongue peeking out with her concentration on her game. “I’m just happy Mom came home… even if she arrived a little late.”

That confuses you. You know Kara likes to say that you came home the moment you started dating Alex, but even so, what she’s saying makes no sense. “Late? Sunshine, I met your Mama three months before we started dating.” From there you think things went pretty steady, moving in and Kara starting to call you Mom took time, but you don’t think they took _that_ long.

Kara looks up at you, her eyes earnest. “In a perfect world, you’d arrived before I was born. In a perfect world Mama wouldn’t have to grow up alone.”

Most of the table is listening to Kara, and Alex even when she has her head turned away for your girl and her attention is on your trainer, is aware of what Kara just said. Her knuckles tighten over the table top and you know what Kara just said cut her deep.

“But it’s okay,” Kara continues as her attention returns to the phone. “You’re here now.”

Silva and you exchange a look and let the matter drop, instead focusing on other topics you are both interested in. There’s no point in trying to lessen the deepness that Kara just showed you.

XxXxX

“Niece!” A shrill voice is heard in the dimming noise of the room a few minutes later, making all eyes turn to the front door. There Kate stands, her hair a little disarrayed and the straps of her purple dress a little off.

Kara perks up immediately, leaving your phone on the table and dashing off.

“Kara!” Alex’s embarrassed voice is heard again, but no one pays her any attention: all their focus is on Kara running into Kate’s arms.

“Auntie!”

You sigh because, really, you sometimes wonder how in Rao’s name you dated that woman… and why on Earth you still are her friend.

“I didn’t know kids under ten were allowed in here,” a man that’s sitting on your table comments. He has a smile on his face and you know he isn’t criticizing, just pointing something out.

“She’s over twenty,” Alex informs him, her cheeks a little red with embarrassment. “Though she doesn’t act like it.”

The man looks at her, strangely and you snort, knowing Alex is talking about Kate and not Kara. “Kara’s eleven,” you tell him, helpful.

He nods at you before his eyes wander to the side to where Kate is walking towards you with Kara in her arms.

“Hey, Sawyer,” she greets you. “Look what I found!”

Alex glares at them and you bite a chuckle at how both Kara and Kate fidget under it. “Miss Kane,” she tells her icily. “I’d appreciate if you stop egging my kid on.”

“But, Mam-”

“Come here, Kara.”

Your kid wiggles to be put down and she walks miserably to be next to Alex, no doubt waiting to be scolded. You see with a raised eyebrow how Alex scoops your girl in her lap and starts talking quietly to her, way too quietly for you to hear her. Whatever she said, though, brightness Kara immensely.

“Really?” Kara squeaks out.

Alex smiles. “Really, really. But, right now, I need you to behave, okay? No running around, no yelling and not following Auntie’s Kate example. Got it?”

“Hey!” Kate protests as she sits on her spot, right in front of you as Kara nods frantically to Alex.

“Do you know each other?” Silva asks curiously. Everyone knows Kate Kane, but the fact that you actually _know_ her – heck, your kid called her Auntie – is somewhat of a shock.

“Ex,” Kate and you say at the same time, earning a great deal of surprised looks.

You shrug at Silva’s inquisitive look. “Not my best time,” you tell her honestly.

“Hey!”

“Please tell me Kate’s behaving,” Renee’s tired voice calls as she approaches the table.

Kara’s nose scrunches adorably. “Mama says lying is bad,” she tells her easily from her spot on Alex’s lap while she rubs her eye with a fist.

The table is silent a beat before everyone is laughing at Kate’s wounded expression while Renee sits at the girlfriend’s right.

“No fair…” Kate mumbles and Kara just sends her, her widest smile.

And you beam because tonight is your night and you have the most amazing people at your side.

XxXxX

After dinner dancing followed.

You are not sure if this kind of event are normal at police academy’s graduations, but you know that graduating from Gotham Police Academy is a great deal. They don’t open spots every other month as many academies do and their training is extensive and allows for new officers to be on the streets working for short periods of time to get a feel of the job. It also takes way longer to finish and with how extensive it is, police forces across the nation often send people to do specialized courses so graduation day at Gotham Police Academy it’s a big deal.

Alex and you mingled for a while and smooched for far longer in between dances. Jefferson took the time to introduce you to several officers and you’re amazed to know that many have come from all around the nation. You met people from Metropolis, National City, Jump City, New York City, Central City and Star City and all of them congratulated you on achieving your degree and your training in the Science Division. A handful of them even offered you a spot on their ranks if you ever want to change venues.

It was terrifying but also really satisfying.

Kara attached herself to Kate since the moment your ex arrived, going so far as to switch seats with Renee at the first chance she got. Dinner took a long while and by the time dessert rolled around Kara was fighting off sleep. Kate, living up to her title as an aunt, volunteered to cuddle Kara in her lap while your girl had a nap and you’re surprised to notice that this is the first time you’ve seen Kate so still and quiet.

Even now, Kate hasn’t been around bothering people and embarrassing Renee as she usually does in this kind of gatherings.

It’s amazing.

“What has your mind whirling?” Alex asks you as she sways in place with you in her arms. You’re so glad she forgo the high heels and she’s wearing a pair of subtle flats to match her midnight blue dress so the height difference is not that much.

“Kara’s still asleep,” you inform her. The last time you looked into the unlikely duo’s direction Kara was still snuggled into Kate and Batwoman was simply looking down at your daughter adoringly.

“Oh,” Alex guides you so she can to look at the pair. “I think I know what’s wrong with her.”

“What?” You’re instantly alert. “What do we need to do?”

Alex smiles at you and you know then that nothing wrong is going on… or at least Alex doesn’t think something wrong is going on. “Sun, love. She needs sun.”

You blink, confused.

“I was talking to Renee earlier today and she was grumbling about the rain. Been outside lately?”

The change of topic is too quick you fear whiplash. “No,” you answer her hesitantly.

“Well, neither have I and guess what? It’s been cloudy and rainy. Kara needs sunlight, Maggie, and there isn’t any.”

You could shoot yourself in the foot at how obvious it is. “Well, I knew that… now I feel stupid.”

Alex sighs. “Know the feeling. I’m a scientist and I’ve been taking care of Kara for years and it took me talking with Renee to figure it out.”

“So, what are we doing?” you ask her because you know you need to do something and Alex is the brain to your brawn.

“I’ve been tinkering with some lights at the lab, trying to recreate the ones the water park had at the beach, make them more powerful. But I haven’t gotten too far with all the experiments I have going…”

“The lamps at the water park could help?”

“Maybe,” Alex shrugs. “We’ll have to try them.”

You nod. “Then we’re going there tomorrow.”

Alex nods back and embraces you, still swaying. “Good. I’ll tell Renee to meet us there.”

You are confused once again. “Why?”

Alex stops mid-sway and you have to act quickly not to topple over. Your girlfriend places her hands on your shoulders. “Kate and Renee are taking Kara for the night,” she informs you with such intensity that you have to process what she said.

The moment your brain does the connection, though, you barely contain your explosion. “What?!”

“Kate and Renee are taking Kara for the night. That’s why I was talking to her, we were going over Kara’s routine.”

“No!” The denial is quick in your lips, making the people around you startle. “No, Alex. No.”

Alex sighs and embraces you again. “Babe,” she whispers in your ear. “We haven’t got the chance to be together for a long while. Like, really together. Renee offered, love. I said yes.”

You gently push her away from you a little bit to see her eye to eye. “And you didn’t ask me? Why didn’t you ask me?”

Alex sighs again, releasing you completely. “It was a surprise, Maggie. But if you’re not comfortable with it, I’ll tell Renee thanks, but not thanks.”

You look at Alex and see a little disappointment in her eyes. You will be lying if you say that a night with just Alex doesn’t sound amazing, but Kara it’s your baby and it makes you wary thinking of her not sleeping at your house.

Yes, Kara’s spent nights at Vasquez’s, but… well, she’s Vasquez.

Still, Alex looks comfortable with the idea and you wonder why that’s it.

“It doesn’t bother you that she’ll spend the night away?”

Alex snorts. “Of course it bothers me. But,” she looks at where Kara is with Kate. “I think Kate is good for her. She’s carefree and she’s pulling Kara out her shell. Every time Kara plays with her she’s left with this sense of… I don’t know… Fulfilment? Contentment? I don’t know Maggie, but I get the feeling Kate is good for our daughter. And Kara loves Kate.”

You look at the duo and notice that Kara’s awake, but still cuddling Kate. Kate is making silly faces to her and Kara is giggling groggily. You know Kate has taken to visit Gotham U at least twice a week to play with Kara in the gardens and you know that Kate knows that Kara’s not human, even when no one has said a thing. You know in the way that Kate treats Kara, how she’s gentle, but not so much. How she doesn’t comment on how much Kara eats, how she has once carried your girl when it was almost obvious Kara was starting to float. How she does those little things that are subtle, but there.

Alex knows it too and you suddenly understand why Alex trusts in Kate so much.

“Fine,” you concede. “But we’re keeping our phones on the whole night. I want to be available if Kara needs something.”

Alex nods at that. “I already gave Renee our land line and a spare key… just in case,” she admits sheepishly, looking past your shoulder.

You kiss Alex then because now you have the whole night to show her how much you love her and her brains.

“It’s getting late.” Renee’s voice comes from behind you, making you startle. “We’re leaving soon,” she says with mirth in her tone.

You know she’s heard what Alex said and she’s now telling you this so you can go say goodnight to your kid. You smile at your friend while taking Alex’s hand. “Then let’s go say bye,” you declare.

Renee nods and leads you to Kate and Kara and your smile widens at the sight that greets you.

Kara’s hair has been let down and her long tresses kept the curliness Alex gave her bun, making her look like a China doll with her pinkish cheeks and bright eyes. Somehow Kate had managed to put a pair of leggings under Kara’s dress and Kate’s own shawl over her tiny shoulders and you notice that it’s getting chilly and for an instant, you think that maybe Kate it’s not such a bad choice for a sitter this night. That’s it until she decides to open her mouth.

“Guess who get to babysit the little princess?” she asks you with a huge smile that’s almost rivalled by Kara’s.

You look at Kate, not impressed.

“No, really, guess. I'll give you a few hints, red hair, beautiful eyes, a body to die for, graceful, cool, can you guess who that is? Who that beauty is?”

You raise an eyebrow. “I thought I got Alex to myself tonight? When did she decide to babysit Kara?”

Renee snorts. “Yeah, that description fits Alex like a glove.” She gives your girlfriend a once over. “She’s a beauty alright.”

Alex blushes ever so lightly as she preens under the attention. “Why, thank you.”

Kate pouts turning to Kara. “I think you’re the only one that likes me…”

Kara hugs her tightly. “I think you’re a beauty like Mama, Auntie, but I know Auntie Renee loves you like Mama and Mom love each other. I do like you, but I know Auntie Renee loves you.”

Kate smiles at that, beaming at your kid before looking back at you. “I wasn’t talking about Alex… I was talking about… Me! I get to babysit the little princess!” Kate finishes triumphantly while sticking her tongue out to you.

“Don’t even think about it,” you warn when you see Kara is about to do the same.

Your kid pouts but behaves… for the time being.

Alex sighs at your side. “Kate, what did I say about bad influencing our baby? Don’t make me regret allowing you to take care of our daughter.”

Kate’s widen in panic and your heart soars. Even after months, it still warms your heart hearing Alex refers to Kara as yours. As your baby. As your daughter.

“I’ll be good!” Kate says hastily. “I promise I’ll be good.”

You shake your head at the wounded pout Kara’s giving you and the scared look in Kate’s eyes. “Fine, Kane. You will take our daughter for the night. But,” you add when it’s obvious Kate’s going to try to be obnoxious again. “There will be some rules if you’re taking care of Kara. Pay attention, Katherine Rebecca Kane, because there will be hell to pay if you don’t follow them.”

Kate and Kara are both paying rapid attention to you and you’re surprised to see your daughter didn’t cry jar.

“First,” you start. “Do not spoil Kara.” You hold a hand up when they both want to protest to that. “I mean it, you two. No spoiling. No buying toys, clothes or video games, Kate. Kara already has too many of each. If you want to buy her something, wait for her birthday or, at least, discuss it with Alex or me before you name her your heiress or some stupid thing like that.

“Second,” you look at your watch and take notice of the time. “It’s way past Kara’s bedtime and I know that asking you to go to bed soon is useless, but Kate, please, she needs to sleep. She’s been too tired lately and she’s used to waking up early, go to sleep at a decent hour.”

“Third,” Alex chimes in. “No sugar.”

“But, Mama!”

“No, Kara. It’s already late and you know you can’t have sweets after six.”

Alex glares down onto Kara and the kid pouts again. “Fine,” she huffs, crossing her arms.

“Watch the attitude, young lady,” Alex warns before returning her attention to Kate. “Fourth, no spoiling her.”

“That’s the first rule…” Kate grumbles, imitating Kara and crossing her arms, making Renee chuckle. 

“That’s because we don’t trust you to remember it,” Alex says to her honestly.

“Fifth,” you continue. “No scary movies. I know you Kane, and your favourite movies are not for little children.”

“I’m not little,” Kara whines and you can tell from her attitude and tone that she’s getting grumpy. She really needs that sun.

“Still, scary movies are a no,” you inform them both. You turn to Renee next. “She eats a lot, but please, not much junk food.”

Renee nods at you. “I’ve already talked with Alex and I know what she can eat and what she can’t. Don’t worry about it, I’ll make sure she doesn’t get any diabetes.”

You sigh. “Thanks, Renee.” You turn again to your kid, still seated on Kate’s lap. “I’m going to miss you, sunshine.”

Kara’s up in an instant, embracing you. “I’ll be fine,” she murmurs against your jacket.

You comb your fingers through her hair. “I know, love.” You bend to kiss her forehead. “Have fun, okay?”

Kara nods. “I will.” She lets go of you and embrace Alex. “Love you, Mama.”

You see how Alex gets a little teary-eyed. “Love you too, baby. Call if you need us, okay?”

“Yes, Mama.”

Kara’s hugging you again. “Love you, Mom.”

“Love you too, sunshine. Don’t try to do the same as Auntie Kate, okay? I don’t want you to become a hooligan.”

Kara sighs and looks up at you with a bored expression and you swear you’re looking at Alex when she’s not amused right now. “Auntie Kate’s not that bad, Mom. She’s just a happy person.”

You snort as Kate beams. If Kate is a happy person then, you’re a depressed one. “Fine, love. Kate’s not that bad, got it,” you tell her with a smile. “Now, shoo,” you tell her. “Before I change my mind, and take you home with us.”

Kara’s out your arms in an instant and behind Renee’s leg in the other. “Bye, Mom. Bye, Mama.”

Alex laughs as you shake your head amused. At least Kara isn’t showing any signs of anxiety or fear at sleeping over an almost stranger house. You trust Renee with your life, and to some extent with Kara’s, but you’re still wary of Kate’s and her antics… even when you know she’d die for your daughter.

“Yes,” Kate says as she stands to be beside her girlfriend and your daughter. “Bye, Mom. Bye, Mama. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

You shake your head again, but smile.

Damn it, you have a pretty strange family.

XxXxX

You’re scrolling fast, way too fast.

Snippets of languages you don’t know flash before your eyes and you understand you’re quickly reading what’s happened in the last twenty-four hours around the world.

A cup of clear tea is at the right of your computer and it steams in the quiet air.

The room is bright, bathed in light, showing you how spare it is, how bare it is.

The only thing in the room that calls to you it’s the battered computer and its news.

You somehow know that you’ve been doing this for years, absorbing whatever information there is to absorb.

Suddenly, something catches your eye and you pause.

You go back.

You stare.

The Gotham Gazette announces that the latest generation of police officers has graduated from the Police Academy. There are three photos displayed.

One is of a young woman speaking to the crowd from behind a podium at a raised dais, a man and a woman on either side of her. The woman is listed as the Mayor of that city. The man, as the Chief Sargent of Gotham Police Department.

The third photo is of the whole generation of new officers posing. They amount to not more than forty and you see interested how some uniforms are different from the others.

The second photograph, though, it’s the one that made you stop.

A recently graduated police officer is smiling at the camera. Her skin is tanned and her chocolate eyes are shining. Her smile is big, showing white teeth and forming dimples in her cheeks. Next to her, another brunette is staring at the camera, although her hair has a little red in it opposed to the first woman almost black hair. The second woman’s eyes are a soft hazel and she’s smiling sweetly at the camera.

And, in between them, a little blonde is beaming up at the first woman. Her baby blue eyes sparkle with mirth, even when they are a little obscured by the police hat that she’s wearing. The girl is hugging the first woman as the second woman embraces the girl.

Beneath the photo the caption confirms you’re right: _S.D. Officer Sawyer celebrates in the company of partner Dr. Danvers and daughter, Kara._

You feel your lips pull up.

Your fingers go to the screen and caress the smiling woman’s face, trace the redhead’s cheeks.

Suddenly you’re smiling.

“Found you.”

XxXxX

You wake up with a start. Your dream was too... weird, too real, and you feel your heart beat furiously.

You look at your right. Alex is sleeping soundly, a little pool of drool staining her pillow. The sheets are all bunched at the small of her back and you can see most of her constellation tattoo peeking out, the black ink contrasting sharply with her clear skin.

You reach to touch her, to know she’s there. Your fingers trace the ink pattern on her skin and you sigh.

She is here. Her warmth is solid besides you.

You breathe out before panic settles in your belly.

“Kara…”

You’re up from the bed in an instant, startling Alex awake, but you don’t care. Right now the only thing on your mind is finding your daughter.

Her room is bare, the bed is made and Krypto is gone.

Kara is gone.

“Kara!”

Alex is behind you, embracing you, grounding you. “Easy, Mags, easy,” she coos. “What’s the matter, what you dreamt?”

“Kara?” you croak out. “Where’s Kara?”

Alex’s hold on you tightens. “She’s with Renee and Kate, love. Remember that?”

You exhale, shakily. The memories from the day are coming to you. You finally graduate Academy. Alex and Kara were with you. Kate and Renee were there. Kate and Renee took Kara with them.

You spoke with Kara when she arrived at Renee’s.

Kara was happy and too giggly. She was fine.

But, there’s something _off_.

“I need to call Renee,” you tell Alex and don’t wait for her to answer you.

You wiggle out of her hold and back to your room with your phone in an instant. You’re dialling before Alex is again by your side.

“ _… fuck? Sawyer?”_ Renee’s grumbles greet you.

“Where’s Kara?” you ask her frantically.

There’s a beat before Renee answers you. “ _Sleeping, woman. It’s three in the morning. She’s sleeping.”_

You’re about to demand for more information when your phone chimes, indicating you’ve got a message. You put your phone in speaker and see what you’ve got.

The message is from Renee and you open it to see a photo of your daughter in her new panda onesie sprawled on top of a snoring Kate. Kate’s on her back, arms above her head and Kara’s cheek is on Kate’s chest, the tip of the thumb in her mouth. The bed on their right side is rumpled and you know that’s where Renee was sleeping before you woke her.

“ _There,”_ Renee’s voice startles you. “ _Can I go back to sleep? I literally just managed to put them to bed.”_

“Thanks, Renee,” Alex calls out and you hear the call disconnect. Alex embraces you from behind. “Better, love?”

You sigh. “Yeah, yeah,” you exhale and finally feel how your heartbeat starts to go back to normal. You turn into her arms and rest your cheek on her shoulder. “I’m sorry… I just…”

“Shh, love,” Alex kisses your temple. “Don’t apologize, darling. I get it. You had a bad dream.”

“But-”

“No, Maggie. It’s okay. Now… do you want to talk about it?”

You shake your head. “No, I-” you rub your forehead in frustration. “I don’t remember… I… I just… Kara.”

“Shh, she’s fine. She’s happy.”

You nod. You sigh.

Hands start to roam over your bare back and you are reminded that for the first time in a year you were sleeping naked. Kisses are dropped at your neck and you shift to accommodate Alex. “May I help you relax?” Alex whispers in your ear before biting softly on your earlobe. “Let me help you melt your worries.”

You shiver and gulp.

You nod again.

It’s three a.m. And Kara is not home.

There’s no reason you should say no.

XxXxX

The next afternoon, after you’ve spent most of the day lazing around the water park, hours after you’ve woke up frantic and scared, Kara is home again and happy.

Happy to have been in the sun for hours and happy with all the stuff Kate got her in the short time those two were together. You have the feeling Kate bought most of that stuff beforehand and was just waiting for the chance to give it to your girl.

“Really, Kane,” you complain as you set down the bags you’re carrying. “What part of ‘don’t spoil her’ didn’t you understand?”

Your ex, looks at you, wounded as she leaves her own bags in the couch. “Me? I did nothing!”

“Then explain this?” Alex says as she enters your apartment with even more bags. “What did you do? Buyout Toys ’R’ Us?”

Kate sniffs. “Of course not! That store is boring.”

You raise an eyebrow to her. “So, you did buy those things.”

“I did not!” Kate denies as Renee arrives with a koala-like Kara attached to her back. “Tell them, Ree, tell them I didn’t buy these things.”

Renee looks at you three and shrugs as Kara slithers down her back. “She didn’t buy her anything,” she tells you flatly. “I did.”

“Thank you again, Auntie Ree,” Kara chirps as she embraces Renee. “I love everything.”

Renee ruffles her hair as you stare at her open mouthed. “Renee!” you exclaim. “We said no spoiling!”

Renee shrugs. “You said Kate couldn’t buy her stuff. You never said anything about me.”

“It was implied!”

“What can I say? I have no siblings and I never thought I’d have a niece. Chill out, Sawyers, most of that stuff are books… per the little princess request.”

Kara beams at you happily and you know you can’t say no. Alex sighs behind you and you’re certain she too has given up.

And you groan internally because more books mean you’re due for an Ikea trip… there’s no way Kara can fit more books in her cramped bookcase and you know Alex’s bookcases are too full too.

You eye Kate.

You smile.

You know who’s assembling that bookcase.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who asked for more fluff?
> 
> I didn't, but here it was, either way.
> 
> @reinakonanofate wants to leave a message:
> 
>  
> 
> _Hey, people, I hope you are enjoying the fluff as much as me and like always I hope I did an acceptable job at editing this chapter, if not I'm still blaming #Sanvers and #SuperCorp also I wanted to let you know that I've finally "fixed" my Tumblr and now it accepts anonymous questions and can be seen by almost anyone now._
> 
>  
> 
> _Remember to send Charis or me prompts, they are always welcome._


	17. Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know there’s a tradition when it comes to buying this kind of stuff. You remember your mom telling Bob about that when he proposed to Delia… you also remember teasing your oldest brother about him spending three months his salary in the ring alone. But now, when you’re the one that will pop the question… well, you understand how Bob felt all those years ago.
> 
> Ring hunting is not something you ever thought you’d be doing… you never thought of getting married and having kids, it simply wasn’t in your plans. Then, you met Alex and wow, it was love at first sight. And then, then you met Kara and you were a goner. Maybe you’re doing things in the wrong order, but dammit if you’re not enjoying it.
> 
> Or,
> 
> That one prompt most of you have been asking for...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *peeks from around the corner, seeing if people are still around*
> 
> Hi... so... life happened.
> 
> No, really, it's been hard to write and to focus on the story at the moment, however, @reinakonanofate and I kept growing the plot while you guys waited, taking your prompts and waving them into the plan we have for this beauty.
> 
> So, without further ado, please read on:

You know there’s a tradition when it comes to buying this kind of stuff. You remember your mom telling Bob about that when he proposed to Delia… you also remember teasing your oldest brother about him spending three months his salary in the ring alone. But now, when you’re the one that will pop the question… well, you understand how Bob felt all those years ago.

Ring hunting is not something you ever thought you’d be doing… you never thought of getting married and having kids, it simply wasn’t in your plans. Then, you met Alex and wow, it was love at first sight. And then, then you met Kara and you were a goner. Maybe you’re doing things in the wrong order, but dammit if you’re not enjoying it.

“Mom, what about this one?” Kara asks you, her face pressed on the glass counter with a little too much force.

“Easy, love,” you tell her quietly, resting a hand on top of her head. “Don’t push too hard.”

Kara nods, but still points. “Do you like it?”

Taking Kara, ring hunting with you was a last minute decision. Your little girl should have been with Vasquez at the moment, but you have a short vacation period before you start working at the precinct as an honest to Rao police officer and bringing Kara with you felt right.

You’re proposing to Kara as much as you’re proposing to Alex, after all.

You look at the ring that caught Kara’s attention. It’s cute, yes, but it’s also pinkish and too girly. The stone it’s too big and you know beyond all doubt Alex would need to take it off to wear her protective gloves at the lab.

“No, baby,” you tell Kara. “That’s not what we’re looking for.”

Kara nods and skips to another case and you sigh. This is the fifth store today, the twelfth over the last three days and you’re getting the impression you’re going to end up asking for a custom-made ring because nothing so far it’s quite right.

“Do you need any help there, little darling and Mom?” a nice woman asks you as you stare down the rings.

You look up to her and smile tiredly. “Maybe?” you sigh again. “I don’t know.”

“Mom!” Kara yells, making you wince at her volume. She’s at your side after a moment, bouncing and embracing you. “I found one!”

“Sorry about that,” you tell the nice clerk. “She’s a little excited.”

The nice woman, Sharon, her name tag reads, just wave a dismissing hand at you. “Try not to stress over it, you and I are the only ones here.”

The store is not that big and you can see after a quick perusal that it’s empty alright. “Still.” You grab Kara by the back of her neck, shaking her affectionately and looking down at her. “She knows she is supposed to use her inside voice when we’re actually...Well, inside.”

Kara bites her lip, sheepishly. “Sorry, Mom. Sorry, ma’am.”

Sharon smiles at your kid. “It’s okay, sweetie. Nothing to worry about. Weren’t you going to show your Mom something?”

Kara nods frantically. “Yes!” she says happily. “I think I found it, Mom.”

You let Kara drag you to where she spotted the ‘one’, the lady following you. Kara takes you to a small case that you notice have different kinds of jewellery and you groan. Kara’s intentions are good, but really, you are not proposing with a huge emerald in a tiny, thin, ring. “I don’t think so, sunshine,” you tell her, causing your daughter to pout.

Kara sighs, and she resembles Alex too much that you have to snort. “I know…” She bites her lip again. “I really don’t like anything here,” she informs you honestly. She sees Sharon and she blushes, suddenly aware of how loud she was. “Sorry.”

You blush too because you once worked at a department store and there nothing more embarrassing than having someone points out the store doesn’t carry what the customer wants. Especially if it’s not up to you to say what the store actually sells. And the customers are too picky.

Rao, you hope you’re not being picky.

Sharon’s cheeks also turn a little pink, but she smiles. “Don’t worry, you shouldn’t buy something you don’t like.” She tells Kara. Sharon looks at Kara and then at you, smiling shyly. “Your kid’s too cute…” the woman says. “She takes after her Mom… say… do you think I can give you my card?”

You groan internally. Really? The woman that’s supposed to help you pick an engagement ring is hitting on you? She’s cute, no doubt, but your heart already has an owner, two owners at that, and Kara is the jealous type.

Instead of answering her directly, you embrace Kara to your side. “Think she’s cute?” you ask Sharon. “You should see her other Mom, she’s the cute one in our relationship.”

You feel a little bad at how Sharon deflates before you, but really, what did she expect?  You have a kid and there was nothing to say you’re gay – okay, maybe the plaid shirt you’re wearing, and the rainbow messenger bag, the neon snapback and ‘ladies’ lover’ t-shirt Kate bought Kara are huge hints, but still – the lady shouldn’t have expected anything from you.

In another lifetime, maybe, but not in this one. Especially since you’re proposing to Alex as soon as you buy the ring – and as soon as you grow the pair to pop the question.

“Mom,” Kara asks you then. “Can we try somewhere else?”

You nod because really, this is awkward now. Kara made a list of the jewellers and most of them you haven’t visit and you’re not sure how many more you will be visiting today. You turn to Sharon and say with a grateful smile. “Thanks for having us. You were really helpful.”

Kara chirps a ‘thank you’ and you are out the store before the lady clerk can say anything to you.

Once you’re outside and far enough the store, you turn to Kara. “So, where to?”

Kara reaches into her messenger bag and grabs the list of the stores you’ve tried along with a pencil and a chocolate bar. She hands you the chocolate as she crosses the store you just visited. “There’s another one about five blocks from here… can we have ice cream after? It’s by Grant Park.”

“Sure, sunshine,” you tell her easily as you break the chocolate into two parts, one larger than the other. “Come on then, guide me there,” you order your kid as you hand her the larger piece.

“Thanks,” Kara says happily, taking the sweet and pocketing the list.

You walk in silence for a bit as you both consume your treat before something nags you. “Say, baby, why didn’t you get mad at that woman?”

Kara looks up at you, confused. “Uh?”

You shake your head, trying to put your thoughts in order. Ever since the gala you’ve been having nightmares, or rather, a nightmare. You see the same scene happen at least once every night since that first time you had it, and the sleeplessness is taking a toll on you. You’ve been eating more sugar to compensate the lack of energy, and sometimes, like now, you hear yourself speak but it doesn’t seem to make any sense. “You’re always making sure people know you have two Moms, Kara… and I wonder why you didn’t tell the woman anything when she hit on me,” you tell her. Kara has shown to be more possessive than Alex and, while endearing, it’s also embarrassing and mildly disturbing. “I guess I missed your over protectiveness,” you finish with a shrug as you don’t want to make your kid uncomfortable.

Kara has already finished her chocolate so she takes your hand and force you to stop. She looks up at you with such earnest eyes you have to blink more than once. “Mom,” she informs you solemnly with that tone she’s using more and more when she thinks you or Alex are being stupid or doing something stupid or saying something stupid. “You’re marrying Mama, I don’t care other people want to date you. You’re marrying Mama and you’re ours. Other people don’t matter.”

You feel your eyes moisten and you hug your daughter to you. ~ _You’re eleven, how can you be so deep?_ ~ you whisper into her hair.

You feel Kara shrug before her arms sneak around you. “You and Mama are good teachers.” She pushes you away after a moment. “Ready to keep looking?”

You nod.

God, you’re marrying Alex and Kara.

You can’t wait.

XxXxX

“That’s the one.”

You stare at the ring Kara pointed to you and you have to remind yourself to keep breathing. It’s breathtaking. It’s so Alex.

“Sir, can you show me this one, please?”

The man nods and unlocks the case, handling you, the ring.

You’re amazed.

The design is simple. The stones, for there are five of them, are simply stunning. They are small, yes, but they are also the bright enough to be seen from a distance. They are what the gentleman helping you, calls blue diamonds mixed with grey diamonds, three blue ones and two grey ones. The diamonds are waved into the silver, making the shank smooth and even.  It’s perfect, it’s practical and so, so beautiful.

“Yes, Kara,” you whisper. “This is the one.”

The gentleman gives Kara a strange look and you chuckle.

“She’s amazing,” you inform him. “She’s been helping me for days, searching for the perfect ring.”

Kara beams up at the man and he smiles too. “I would gather,” he says. “She seems quite intelligent.”

Kara perks up at the attention and embraces you. “So, Mom, are we buying?”

“Yeah, baby. We are buying.” You look at the man and say with a smile. “How long would it take you to engrave it?”

The man looks at Kara again, but smiles. “Give me a couple of hours and I’ll have it done… in the meantime, there’s an arcade a block down. I’m sure the little lady would like to play there, while you wait.”

You don’t even have to say yes to know that that’s where you’re spending the next couple of hours. It’s early enough that you know you will have time to pick up some Thai before heading home and wait for Alex to be off work and, really, Kara’s been spending three days ring hunting with you and not playing. She deserves to have her butt kicked by your superior skills in gaming.

You see your daughter has her game face on and you groan internally.

You are sure your butt would be the one kicked.

XxXxX

After getting your ass handed to you by an eleven-years old, and picking up a ring that costs you much more than three months your salary, you and Kara are walking hand in hand towards the parking lot you left your car.

“Thanks, love,” you tell her as Kara swings your hands in between your bodies. “You really did me a solid, helping pick the ring for your Mama.”

Kara smiles up at you. She’s wearing her snapback backwards and you’re suddenly struck with how handsome she looks. Your daughter will be breaking hearts left and right.

“Thanks for letting me help,” she chirps as she skips beside you. “Mama’s going to be really happy.”

“I hope so,” you exhale. Just thinking about asking Alex to marry you, makes your knees go weak and your heart race.

Kara tugs at your hand, making you stop. “Mama’s going to say yes, Mom,” she informs you in her no-nonsense tone. “She’d be too dumb to say no. She loves you almost as much as I do.”

You smirk at your daughter. “Your Mama? Dumb? I don’t think so. She’s almost as smart as you.”

Kara looks at you and you think she’s trying to smirk back at you, but she’s failing miserably. She’s still too innocent to smirk properly. “Mama can be dumb,” she tells you with finality.

“Really?” you ask just to humour her.

Kara nods as she starts walking again. “When I was little she was dumb.”

“You’re still little and she’s never been dumb.”

Kara pouts at you, but doesn’t comment that you are referring to her as little. “She quit school.”

Something inside you shift uncomfortably. “Sunshine,” you tell her softly. “She took a break so she could focus on you.”

Kara’s brown crinkles. “Even so, she’d be finished with her research if she hadn’t quit.”

“Oh, it’s that so?” you ask the kid because you want to know where she’s going with this.

“Yep,” she pops the ‘p’. “She’d be a doctor doctor now and not just a doctor.”

You know Alex went through medical school but never finished her residency and thus never got her certification. She’ll never be an MD… that’s not where her interests lay… you also know that Alex is a year away from finishing her Ph.D. and actually become a doctor.

“Doctor doctor?” you ask her.

She nods. “She’d be able to heal people and invent cool stuff if she hadn’t quit school once.”

Oh. You understand now. “Kara, baby,” you tell her with a slight smile. “Your Mama didn’t want to become a doctor doctor. Her goal was to study medicine and focus that on alien physiology and biology… she never meant to heal people, love… it was about the aliens.”

Kara’s crinkle deepens and she looks at you with hurt in her eyes. “But… but we aliens are people…”

In that instant, you feel like an idiot. A bag of shit. Like the worst person in the world.

Without pausing your gait, you pick your kid up. “I didn’t mean it like that, baby. Rao, I didn’t mean it like that. Yes, love, alien are people… but what I meant is that your Mama never thought she’d be working in a hospital or a clinic. She wanted to help aliens, love… not what many think as normal people.”

Kara’s crinkle doesn’t ebb. “Jeremiah said that normal people weren’t worthy of what Earth gave them…” She cuddles to you, a little stiff. “That’s why Mama doesn’t want to help them?”

“Kara…”

“And why would you help them? That’s what a police officer does, right? Help people who can’t help themselves?”

This topic is getting too heavy and too deep for you to handle on your own. You need to talk to Alex to know exactly how you’re addressing this, how you and Alex are going to face this line of questioning from Kara. You already put your foot in your mouth once today, you don’t want to do it again.

So, you change topics.

“Tell me something about your Mama, from when you were little.”

Kara looks at you and you know she won’t forget her questions and she will demand answers at some point.

“She’s always liked strawberry,” she says. “That’s because I’m allergic and she liked to have something just for herself.”

“I don’t really think that’s the reason…” you tell her, unamused. “… also, you’re not allergic to anything…”

Kara shrugs. “My file says I’m allergic to strawberries and nuts… so I don’t get those often.”

You frown… you haven’t really noticed that little fact, but you do know there are not many nuts in the house and the only one that actually eats the strawberries at your house is Alex, even when you know Kara, indeed, eats up to seven or more pounds of oranges and apples per week.

You wonder if Alex is aware of the fact or she’s simply doing as she’s been doing for years now and don’t let Kara have any nuts or strawberries without thinking.

Yet another thing you need to talk with Alex about.

“And what about a sport, baby?” you ask her as you can see how her mood is dampening. “What did Mama do, other than surfing?”

“She liked to run,” she informs you. “She liked to go on running for hours… sometimes she took me with her, strapped me to her back, and sometimes she ran at night when I was sleeping. I would wake up to her coming in, drenched in sweat,” the girl scrunches her nose. “She was smelly.”

You snort at that. “Of course she was.” You lower your voice a little as if telling Kara something meant only for her ears. “She still is after our workout,” you confide in your daughter as if that was a national secret.

Kara giggles and you feel yourself start breathing easier. Crisis averted, for the most part.

“And what about you, huh?” you continue distracting her. “Aren’t you a smelly little girl?” you ask her as your fingers start tickling her.

“Mom!”  Kara squeals. “Mom!  No!” She starts wiggling like a worm and you smile, glad that such a good day wasn’t turned into something sad.

That’s it until Kara suddenly goes stiff in your arms and her eyes zero ahead of you.

This whole time you’ve kept walking towards the parking lot you left the car in and you’ve unconsciously chosen the shortest path towards it, cutting through the streets you’ve gotten to know after years of living in the city and months of practical training.

Yes, you chose the shortest path.

Not necessarily the best when accompanied by your daughter.

“Kara?” you ask her as you cease your tickling, eyeing the alley you’re in warily.

The girl is completely still. “There’s someone here,” she murmurs, her nose twitching. “They smell… bad…”

You feel yourself relax as you put Kara on the ground, with the firm intent of turning back to more lit places. “It’s probably just a homeless guy, baby… they sometimes smell bad.”

Kara shakes her head, clutching your belt and tugging you out the place. “It’s not that,” she says as she starts walking away from there. “Let’s go, Mom,” she says with a little tremor in her voice.

“Don’t move!” A sudden voice yell and you curse in your mind at distracted you’ve been.

You turn to face the alley properly and feel your blood boil.

A ragged man is pointing a gun to you, not three feet away. No. He’s pointing a gun to your frightened daughter.

“Give me your money!” The man waves the gun wildly and you see his pupils are blown and his hand is shaking a little too much.

He’s either too frightened or on drugs.

By the way he keeps sniffling, and how his arm that’s holding the gun is full of bruises, you guess he’s on drugs.

“Calm down,” you tell him in the calmest voice you can manage. You show him your empty hands, waiting for his attention to be drawn to them before you start shifting every so lightly to stand in front of Kara. “Easy. Calm down.”

He jabs his gun towards you, making Kara flinch ever so slightly. “Don’t move! I’ll shoot!”

You curse in your mind. You’re not carrying your gun and there’s no way you can go to him without him shooting. The only saving grace you find is that he’s shaking so badly that no matter if he shoots the chances of the bullet hitting you or Kara are slim. Still, a gun is a danger and you fear for your little one more than you fear for yourself.

“I won’t move,” you tell him honestly. “Let the kid go and I’ll give you anything you want,” you say easily. You don’t care that you’re carrying the ring, even when you’re short of cash.  Right now the only thing that matters is Kara getting to safety.

“No!” he yells, waving the gun around. “She stays!”

“Okay, okay,” you try to calm him down. His finger is placed dangerously on the trigger. “She won’t go. Just calm down.”

“Give me your money!”

“Okay, okay… just, lower the gun, please.”

“Mom-”

“Shh, Kara.”

“Be quiet!”

“We’ll be, we’ll be,” you let him know. How you wish you could send Kara a telepathic message just to stay calm, to try to inch her way behind you. You revile yourself for not paying heed to where you were going. For not teaching Kara what to do when confronted by a gun, particularly when you live in such a dangerous city.

“The money!”

“Okay, okay,” you tell him again. “Lower the gun and I’ll take the wallet out.”

You’re not carrying a purse and your wallet is in your back pocket, along with your badge. You need to know he’s not doing anything funny before you reach for it. You know what can happen if you try any sudden movements.

You’ve seen what that can do.

“No! The money first!”

You nod. “Fine, fine. I’m taking the wallet out,” you reach towards your back pocket with caution, trying to do everything in your power to appear harmless.

You fail.

“You bitch!”

The shot rings out and you freeze.

What happens next would forever be etched in your memory.

The bullet leaves the chamber and you can see how it travels in the air. The shot rang true and you know there’s going to be pain coming your way shortly. You see the bullet come close, too close and you’re prepared for the impact. You’ve never been shot before, at least not without a bulletproof vest, but you’re aware how much that will hurt.

But then, Kara’s in front you and you don’t have time to cry out before the bullet impacts her little hand. You stare at the closed hand. A hand that is just above your ribs, holding the bullet that was meant for you.

That could have probably killed you.

“Kar-”

“You freak!”

The gun goes off once again and you see incredulously as the bullet hits Kara’s stomach before bouncing.

“Ouch,” Kara murmurs as she stares down her body and you notice faintly that her eyes are glowing.

That makes you move.

The ragged man is still shooting, but the chamber is empty and the dull clicks are the only sounds the gun makes. You are on him in an instant, your fist goes to his left cheek and he’s so unstable that he meets the floor easily, you on top of him.

Your fist connects again with his face, this time snapping his head up as his nose make a wet noise. “Not my daughter, you bastard!” you tell him as you pummel him.

“Mom!”

The man is out cold after your intense beating and you’re up again, searching into your kid’s eyes and crouching beside her. “Are you okay?” you ask.

Kara’s looking past you to the man on the ground, her eyes still glowing. Then, she’s looking at your hands and you don’t need to look to know that your knuckles are probably scraped and a little bloody.

“Kara,” you have to stop yourself from snapping at your little girl so she concentrates in you. You know what snapping does to her. “Eyes on mine,” you order her as softly as you can. “Eyes on mine, love.”

Kara’s wide eyes finally find yours as they lose their glow and you grunt when your daughter is suddenly embracing you around your neck. Kara starts trembling and you waste no time in picking her up and cradling her as she starts sobbing.

“M-Mom. I-I-I-”

“Shh, love, shh,” you murmur to her as you start rocking her. “It’s okay, love. Everything is okay.”

“What happened?” The panicky voice startles you and you are ready to pummel someone else when you notice who is the one talking.

“Batwoman,” you sigh in relief. Kate is standing there in costume and you cannot feel more at ease knowing that you are not alone with the distraught Kara. In the distance, you can hear faint siren sounds and you guess this time people actually called the police when they heard the gunshots.

“Sawyer,” Kate asks again, looking at the man on the floor, before her focus turn to you and Kara, “what happened?”

“We were almost mugged,” you say shortly. “Kara kind of stopped the bullets.”

Kate’s sudden intake of breath soothes you. You’re not the only one shaken by this.

Kara hasn’t stopped crying, but she’s quiet now and you feel so bad for your little girl you don’t even know what to do anymore. You know you need to be there when the patrol cars arrive, you know you need to be there when the man is arrested, you know you need to focus completely on what’s happening around you.

But Kara’s more important.

You see how Kate kicks the downed man in the crotch and you smile slightly. He’s going to wake up with several bruises already and you know Kate’s boots are heavy-duty. You really don’t pity him.

“Bastard,” she mutters.

“Jar,” you tell her softly, trying to remind her that Kara’s still around, although, now that you think it more clearly, after almost getting mugged and stopping a couple of bullets, hearing bad words is the last thing that’s probably on Kara’s mind.

Kate grimaces. “Sorry,” she tells you honestly. “It’s just that…” she finishes with another kick at the man’s shins.

There’s a sickening sound and you know Kate broke something.

“Stop,” you snap at her making Kara flinch and her eyes to start glowing again. “Sorry, baby,” you apologize to your kid, rubbing the back of her head. “Mom didn’t mean to yell. I’m sorry.”

Kara nods against your neck, sniffling. You can feel she started sucking her thumb and you curse yet again that stupid man.

Kara’s almost broken the habit and this encounter reverted all progress she’d made.

The sirens are getting louder and you know it’s a matter of minutes now before the officers on duty arrive.

One look at Kate and you know she knows too.

Kate focuses on Kara, on her softly glowing eyes, then you, and say with such regret you’ve never heard of her before. “I need to go.”

You nod. Batwoman and the police don’t see eye to eye and you know the moment they see her they are going to try to pin it on her and make her look like the crazy woman that she is not.

Kate is about to leap to the rooftops when something occurs to you. “Wait!” you tell her.

Kate looks at you, perplexed.

“Take Kara. See if she’s injured. Protect her.”

Kate stares at you for long, long seconds, before nodding. “Okay.”

Detaching Kara from your neck proves to be difficult, but you both manage without hurting Kara… at least physically. Her eyes are still shining, and with her distress, their intensity is growing.

“M-Mommy, no!” your kid sobs. The new title makes your heart break, but you know you’re doing things right.

~ _Shh, Kara_ ,~ Kate coos to her in Kryptonian as she embraces the little girl to her chest. Alex started teaching Kate Kryptonian at her request and much to your shame, your ex is picking it up quicker than you did. Kara fights to be put down, kicking and scratching, but Kate’s hold stays firm. ~ _Kara, easy, easy._ ~

“Mommy! M-Mommy, noooo!”

_~Kara, easy, princess. Mommy will follow us shortly, princess. But we need to go, okay? I need you to keep me company, princess. I don’t want to be alone. Will you come with me?~_

Kara nods her consent, the intimacy of the language no doubt calming her, but even so, as Kate manages to take to the skies with the still sobbing girl in her arms and even after they are long gone and you no longer can see the glow of Kara’s eyes, you can hear her crying out brokenly for you.

You turn to the alley entrance and take a deep breath. The patrol cars are arriving and you swiftly take your badge from your pocket and show it to them and your empty hands before they can start asking questions.

You are in for a long evening.

XxXxX

You arrive home later than what you have planned. Apparently, you’re not in the system and the officers that took the druggie also arrested you, claiming that fake badges were as common as gun fights.

Renee has been your saving grace then. Kate alerted her of what was happening and Renee was able to fetch your documents before you were processed. The druggie, however, was not so lucky and was in detention right now, waiting for the drugs to pass so he can make his statement and be assigned a lawyer.

Renee at least told you that Alex was informed as soon as Kate called her and she picked Kara up at Kate’s as soon as she was able to. Rao. What are you telling Alex?

“Maggie?” Alex’s voice is loud in the silence and you make an effort not to jump in surprise.

“Rao, woman,” you breathe out. “You scared the crap out of me.”

Your girlfriend is at your side in an instant hugging you before her medical training comes to light and she starts inspecting you all over, her fingers tracing your arms like a feather. “Are you hurt?”

You snort because, of course, the first thing Alex says to the girlfriend that failed to protect her kid, at almost midnight in a weekday is, ‘are you hurt?’. “I’m fine,” you tell her, gently pushing her slightly away.

Alex’s eyes bore into yours and you feel so inadequate of the love you see there. “Mags?”

You sigh and go sit on the couch, knowing Alex will follow. “Kara?” you ask her, defeated.

Your girlfriend sits beside you and she reaches out to hold your hand, squeezing tightly. “She was distraught,” she informs you and you’re so glad she’s not hiding the truth from you. “When I picked her up she was hyperventilating and Kate was panicking. Kara latched on me, and she didn’t let go until she cried herself to sleep.”

You nod. You know she’s already in bed – your bed – and that you two will be lucky if she doesn’t wake up in tears in a couple of hours. “W-Was, was she hurt?”

Alex’s eyes narrow a little and she looks to where your bedroom is. “She bruised. They were small, small enough to know that she actually didn’t feel them… but she did bruise. She freaked us out there for a moment, but they’ve already healed…” She turns to look at you, with a sad smile on her face. “She kept asking for her Mommy,” she informs you.

You wince at the new title, at how Kara suddenly wants to call you.

“… if you don’t want her to call you like that… I can tell her to always call you Mom…”

You shake your head. That’s not what’s bothering you.

“… you feel guilty…”

You laugh, brokenly. You close your eyes and let your head drop into the backrest of the couch. “She got hurt, Alex. She got hurt because I wasn’t paying attention. I was so engrossed talking to her I stopped paying attention… Rao, Alex… I’m so tired and I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Kate told me she took the bullets for you, Mags. She loves you and she protected you just like you always protect her.”

“I didn’t protect her for shit,” you mutter. “She was the one being the hero.”

Alex’s thumb starts caressing the back of your hand, soothingly. “You’re her hero, Maggie. She looks up to you and she’s so amazed you’re an officer now and that you help people. Shit happened today, but neither of you are at fault.”

“Of course it isn’t her fault, Alex. She’s a kid. I was the one that was taking care of her, I was the one that let her down… she got shot, Alex. Your baby girl got shot.”

You feel the tears rolling down your cheeks, but you don’t do anything to stop them. You failed Kara. You failed Alex. You failed your family.

“She’s yours too, Maggie, don’t pretend otherwise.”

You shake your head again. “How can she be mine, if I couldn’t protect her?”

You feel Alex shifting next to you and you grunt softly when she straddles you, embracing you around your neck and letting her whole weight rest on you. “She’s an alien, she’s tough,” Alex says, reminding you of the faux pas you had with the kid not so long ago. “But, she’s also always have the heart of a hero. When she was young, she used to rescue so many animals that we practically ended being a zoo. Dad, once he paid attention, was so angry he took all the cats and dogs and left them in the forest behind our house. Kara was distraught and tried to find them all… she couldn’t do it and it made her cry for weeks. I wasn’t there at the time and she told me long after it happened… she knew I would fly back immediately to fight with Dad. She knew it would make things more difficult and decided to keep it to herself for a really long time.

“She used to help the younger kids at her school to adapt to be apart from their parents, the kindergarten teachers loved her, she made their jobs easier. She used to help the old ladies cross the streets, Mags, when she was six. She’s always looked out for other people and she’s always looked out for me in her own way.

“She was always such a bright star, Mags, always helping out and being simply adorable… the accident when my parents died hit her hard. She… she saw how the truck struck them, how mom died in an instant, how the impact broke her neck. She saw how the truck crushed dad almost to death and she surviving it was just my luck and my blessing… she was wearing that damn dampener, like she used to do back then, wearing it daily… just to fit in… just to be normal. But, love, she’s never been normal, and I’m not talking about her being an alien.”

You can feel Alex’s tears wet your neck, where she hid her face. Your girlfriend is not sobbing or even making distraught noises, she’s just crying.

“You’re upset,” you point out the obvious. “but you’re not angry.”

Alex’s shuddering breath tickles your skin. “I’m angry this world is so fucked up. I’m angry that you have to be a police officer, just because that means there are people out there that need to be behind bars. I’m angry the world won’t accept Kara, sweet, lovely, Kara just because her DNA won’t ever match those of Earth. I’m angry you feel guilty. I’m angry Kara’s so scared… but I’m not angry at you, Mags, never at you. I know that you would die for Kara and that is something not many would do.”

“Of course I would die for Kara, darling. I love her and I love you. I can’t imagine my life without either of you.”

“I love you, Margaret Ellen Sawyer, with all my heart, and that won’t ever change.”

You had planned this. You were going to borrow one of Kate’s fancier yachts one night in exchange for being able to babysit Kara the whole night again. You were going to order some fancy dinner and dance under the stars with Alex for hours before you popped the question. You were going to swallow your fear and go down on one knee and ask.

Instead, the words that leave your mouth next ruin everything. “Marry me.”

Alex stiffens in your arms and you wince. Maybe you read things wrong… maybe this is not the right time.

And maybe the right time wouldn’t matter… maybe she would say no either way.

“Mags?” Alex’s voice is small and… hopeful? As she pushes away from you just enough to be able to look into your eyes.

You swallow around your tears, suddenly too exposed, too bare before her. “Marry me,” you repeat. “Would you do me the honour of calling you, my wife.”

Alex laughs then and you feel a little better, a little calmer, even when her laughter is mixed with her crying. “Yes, love, yes,” she says as she embraces you again. She doesn’t kiss you and you’re grateful for it, weird as it sounds. The hug feels perfect for the occasion and you think a kiss wouldn’t be as heartfelt as how tight she’s squeezing you.

As for how close she’s pulling you together.

“I love you so much, Alex. I’m sorry I-”

“No,” she interrupts you. “No, Maggie. Stop apologizing. You did your best. Nothing bad happened.”

“Next time-”

Alex shakes her head. “No, Maggie. Next time will not happen. By next time, all the bad guys will know not to mess with the amazing officer Sawyer and won’t come three feet near you.”

You laugh at that, Alex following you shortly, grateful for what your girlfriend – no, fiancée -  is trying to do. You feel better, knowing after all this mess Alex wants to marry you. “Officer Danvers, you mean.”

Knowing she loves you so much.

~ _’ama? ‘ommy?_ ~ A sleepy voice cuts through your laughter and you look left to see Kara in her panda onesie, rubbing her eye tiredly with her free hand while her thumb is in her mouth.

Alex untangles from you with a smile still on her face. ~ _Hey, baby. We woke you up?_ ~ she asks as she goes gather your kid in her arms.

Kara cuddles into her chest, sucking gently and grabbing Alex’s gemstone. She shakes her head, closing her eyes and sighing deeply. Alex comes sit next to you, rearranging Kara on her lap so the kid can face you too.

~ _Bad dreams, baby?~_ you ask her softly as you comb the hair out her eyes.

Kara sighs again, before opening her eyes. They are red a swollen and it hurts your heart seeing so much pain directed at you. ~ _’ommy ‘one. ‘ommy ot hut.~_

You take her hand from her mouth, kissing her palm gently, aware of Kara’s eyes following your movements. ~ _Can you repeat that, baby?_ ~

~ _You left,~_ she says with finality. ~ _You left and got hurt and never come back.~_

“Oh, baby.” You try to reach her, to embrace her, but she scoots away. She scoots away far enough that she’s out of Alex’s lap and she’s curled into a ball by the end of the couch.

Your heart breaks.

“Kara…” Alex’s is confused, you can see it. But you’re just hurt.

Kara shakes her head wildly. ~ _Mommy,_ ~ her eyes hones on you, ~ _don’t leave me. Promise me._ ~

If your heart was breaking, it’s shattering right now.

“Kara,” you rise and go kneel next to her. “I love you, baby, and I’m sorry I left you with Auntie Kate. But your eyes were glowing and I was scared they would try to do something to you, okay? I needed you to be safe, Kara, I couldn’t bear it if they did something to you. I can’t live without you …

“Do you know why I chose to work in the Science Division?” You wait until Kara shakes her head again, her eyes trained in yours. “Auntie Kate introduce me with so many aliens while we were dating, and I learned that they are just like us humans. They have dreams, jobs, careers. They date, they eat and drink, just like us… I used to think that all aliens were as standoffish and difficult to get by as Superman and the rest of the Justice League… I didn’t think they needed protecting too. That’s why I decided to do the specialized training, Kara, because I want to help aliens, aliens just like you and I want to make sure that no one is treated badly. I want to make sure people are just that, people, no matter their origin.

“I’m sorry I asked Auntie Katie to take you away, sunshine. You were so brave and I’m so proud of you… but the world is not ready, yet. I won’t chance it.”

Kara’s earnest eyes are locked on yours and you know she’s absorbing the words as her own. She nods in understanding, conceding to you what you’re telling her.

“I can’t promise you to never leave you behind, Kara, but I swear to you I will always protect you. I swear that I will always love you.”

Kara nods again and she launches at you, embracing you around your neck and you smile at how similar Alex and Kara really are. “Okay, Mommy,” Kara murmurs against your skin. “Promise me you’ll do anything to always come back.”

You smile sadly, taking your kid completely in your arms and sitting again next to Alex so she can join in the hugging. “I promise you, Kara, Alex, I’ll always do my very best to come back to you.”

“You better,” Alex says quietly into your hair. “We can’t live without you, either.”

Kara nods against your cheek before leaving a kiss there and settling in exhausted sleep, thumb in her mouth and hand around your gemstone.

You sigh contently and stay put for a couple of minutes until something prods your mind. You wiggle a little and reach into your pants’ pocket where the box’s been waiting for hours now.

Alex looks at you oddly, but you grin sheepishly as you present the velvet box to your fiancée. “I kind of forgot to give you the ring,” you whisper.

Kara mumbles something in her sleep and you see Alex’s eyebrows shot upwards.

“Mags?” She reaches for the box and opens it, gasping at the ring inside. “Wha-”

“We went ring hunting, that’s why we were at City Hall…”

Alex frowns before she’s up and going to your bedroom, leaving the ring on the coffee table. “Wait here.”

She is back before you can get confused or panicky. She’s holding something in her closed hand as she sits next to you again, presenting you, her hand. “Here,” she says still out of it.

You place your palm under her fist and she lets a velvet box, not too different from the one you gave her, drop in there. “Alex?”

“Open it,” she tells you, fondly.

You open the box one-handed, the other one is still cradling Kara to your chest and you understand why Alex was so surprised.

Inside the box is a ring, like you thought it would be, but the ring per se it’s eerily similar to the one you bought Alex. It’s silver with the stones woven on the shank and the five stones are also blue and grey diamonds… the only difference you see is that this one has three grey diamonds and two blue ones and that the outer pattern is just a tiny bit more linear.

“Kara.” Realization dawns on you and you have to smile. Of course, your little girl managed to make you both buy similar rings to propose.

Wait.

Alex was going to propose too.

“Marry me,” Alex echoes your words.

You smile.

You’re marrying your soul mate.

XxXxX

Going back to the precinct late the next morning is not something you wanted to do, however, the rules stated that you needed to be back to help process the druggie that tried to mug you, an officer of the law.

Your brand new engagement ring still feels out of place in your hand but it’s a constant reminder of Alex and Kara’s love and part of you really wishes that you never get used to it. That you are always reminded of the love those two have for you.

So, you walk into the precinct and go find your first arrest… only to find out he was bailed early that morning.

“What do you mean?” you ask the officer in charge of the holding cells, Phillips. “He was to be processed this morning.”

Phillips looks through his records. “He was bailed by the army this morning, Sawyer. We couldn’t do anything.”

You curse under your breath. The FBI and the Army that comes meddling with the police always have the highest ranks and as such going against them is almost always impossible.

“The bastard must have been a veteran,” Philips, says to you with a shrug. “What are we gonna do about it?”

“He must have,” you sigh, annoyed. “Thanks, Philips.”

“Sorry, Sawyer.”

You turn around and leave the office, ready to go pick Kara from Vasquez’s and spend the remaining of your last free week with your daughter when Renee catches up to you. “Maggie!”

“Hey, Renee.” Your smile is strained and you know it, but really, the man deserved to rot in jail for at least a couple of years, he shouldn’t have been bailed. Heck, the army shouldn’t have known, but you know they are snitches in most precincts that call the army or FBI when they deem it necessary.

“Sorry about your guy,” she tells you honestly. “He was up all night, talking about monsters and glowing eyes… he had the precinct so fed up with that.” Your heart stops at that, but Renee’s words relax you. “Nobody believes a druggie, of course. They are too far gone in their minds.”

You nod. Of course, no one would believe a druggie when the drug’s effects were still high. But, still, it was a close call.

“Thanks, Ree,” you tell her honestly.

Renee nods at you, but she doesn’t smile as she starts walking with you to the exit. “There’s another little thing, though… someone’s looking for you.”

That perks you up. People don’t usually look for you, if anything, you look people up. “Really? Who?”

Renee looks down at a piece of paper. “Her name’s Lyla… she says she had a one-night stand with you around six months ago?”

You freeze, feeling dread wash over you.

Renee, however, doesn’t relent. “What are you playing at, Margaret?”

“Wha-What do you mean?” you ask her, your voice trembling.

“If memory serves me right, you and Alex had been together for a year now… did you cheat on her?” Renee’s tone is brusque and you recoil from her harsh words.

“What! No! I don’t know any Lyla! I would never sleep around, Renee, you know that!”

Renee looks deep into your eyes, into your soul. “Okay,” she tells you. “But you need to address this, Maggie. She has come around three times now, looking for you and she will be trouble if you let it simmer.”

You nod and take the paper from her outreached hand, noticing the phone number and name right away. “Who knows about this?” you ask because if you’ve learned something over the years is that police officers gossip like old hags and you really don’t want your reputation to start building before you’re on active duty.

“No one,” she tells you. “She came today not too long after your druggie was released and asked for you again. I was passing by and talked to her. Told her I would give you her number and inform you she’s been looking like crazy all over the city for months.”

You rub at your forehead, tired. “Okay, okay. I’m going to talk to Alex to see how I’m dealing with this…”

“Mags… you didn’t…”

You shake your head. “No. I haven’t slept away from Alex in months… Actually, I moved in with them around six months ago…”

“You don’t really know her?”

“No.” You pause for a bit. “did she say something else?”

Renee thinks for a second. “Something about revenants? That you meet at revenants?” She shakes her head. “Sorry, was a little distracted and nothing she said actually made any sense. She said she kept poking you, trying to make you listen… she also kept rubbing her temple, all. The. Time.”

And then, it came crashing all back.

The Revenant was one of the few alien bars in the city… the Revenant is the one bar you’ve always frequented the most.

The Revenant is also the bar you went to drown your sorrows around six months ago when Alex and you had the big fight.

Before she asked you to move in.

Before you became Mom.

Before…

Shit.

You know you drank too much that night. You barely remember anything after a while. You remember Anya the usual bartender, you remember talking with different girls. Alien girls, meta human girls, human girls… but you don’t remember a Lyla.

You can’t remember.

Did you… actually cheated on Alex?

        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, @reinakonanofate wanted to tell you this:
> 
>  
> 
> _*Hides* I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, sorry!!!! Life has a funny of butting in when you least expected, last week I got sick ( From stress ) like really sick, I was sick for days and my week was strangely busy, I didn't have a moment of peace, a moment to sit down a give this chapter the beta reading it deserved, also this chapter changed quite a few times, throwing ideas back and forth and finally last week I went from happiness ( When I (We) thought that Kara's brain was back from vacation. ) To disappointment to extreme euphoria...Katie McGrath ( Lena Luthor ) is going to be a regular on season 3, also I'm not sure if Floriana is already a regular but she is also is going to be a regular on season 3. So, Yay!!!!_
> 
>  
> 
> _My apologies once again and remember that I'm also a reader and I actually love it when a great story like this one updates on a regular basis but my friend Charis trusted me with her story and I like to do decent job at beta reading it, so I'm sorry and I'm going to try to do a quicker job for chapter 18, that I promise._
> 
>  
> 
> She makes it look like it was her fault, but, really, it was a joint effort.
> 
> Prompts? please leave a comment below or go bother us at tumblr.


	18. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When she comes to you, a day after getting engaged (without the chance to celebrate properly) and tells you that there’s a woman looking for her that may or may have not had a one-night stand with her while you were together – albeit fighting, but still together – you don’t know what to think.
> 
> “Maggie?” you can feel your voice crack. Dammit, you’ve been in a handful of serious relationships before and all of them had cheated on you at one time or another.
> 
> No one could stomach that Kara and school were your priorities.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where Maggie's guilty, Kara cries a lot and Alex's life changes drastically. 
> 
> Well, all their lives change drastically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!!!! Life happens and this chapters are getting hella long!!!
> 
> The other day I was telling @reinakonanofate that I promised myself that I was keeping this story short, around 20 chapters and that I wouldn't let the chapters grow longer than 3k words each... and well, as she said, here we are.
> 
> Beta love to @reinakonanofate for being her amazing self and helping not only polish this baby, but also grow this universe and helping the plotting and the angst and the fluff and the all!!!
> 
> Go bother her and I at tumblr!!!! @reinakonanofate and @charis-chan.

You’re getting married to the woman of your dreams.

She proposed and you said yes.

She gave you a ring and you gave her one as well.

Maggie has always been too true to you. She’s always been there to support you and help you when you feel lost. She’s been so understanding with Kara and she’s always made the time for you both. She’s been the best girlfriend you’ve ever had and the best of friends you could come across.

So, when she comes to you, a day after getting engaged (without the chance to celebrate properly) and tells you that there’s a woman looking for her that may or may have not had a one-night stand with her while you were together – albeit fighting, but still together – you don’t know what to think.

“Maggie?” you can feel your voice crack. Dammit, you’ve been in a handful of serious relationships before and all of them had cheated on you at one time or another.

No one could stomach that Kara and school were your priorities.

“I… I don’t remember,” Maggie tells you miserably. “I blacked out. I have no memory of that night after the fifth shot… I don’t remember anything.”

She waited until after Kara went to bed to tell you and for that you are grateful. You know Kara isn’t aware of all your dating disasters, but she remembers accurately what Vicky did and how betrayed you felt and how hurt you were. You are not aware Kara knows what cheating is per se, but she knows it had hurt you badly before, and you are so grateful she wasn’t around to see this.

Maggie is crying, curled into a ball at the end of the bed. She’s got her pajamas on and you know she’s ready to go sleep on the couch for the night… the first thing she did when she started speaking was to gather her pillow and the throw and while you at first, thought it was odd, now you understand.

However. You don’t.

You don’t understand.

You know Maggie. You know her better than you knew any other girl you dated. Ever since your first kiss at twelve, ever since your first relationship at thirteen, you have never felt this feeling of belonging before.

Of security.

Of calmness.

Of love.

Maggie’s not one to cheat and you know it. She knows it too. She’s doubting her memory and that makes it all wrong.

“Maggie,” you say, suddenly firm. You feel a pang of remorse as for how Maggie recoils and curls even more on herself. “You didn’t cheat on me,” you tell her.

She looks up at you, devastated. “But-”

“No, Maggie. You didn’t. You couldn’t. I know that. You know that.”

Maggie sobs then and you gather her in your arms in an instant.

“Shh, love. You didn’t cheat. You know that.”

“B-But, she said-”

“We don’t know her, Maggie. She can say whatever she wants to say and that won’t make it true.”

“… you really- you really believe that I didn’t cheat on you?”

You smile at your fiancée. “Yes, Maggie. I don’t think you’re able to cheat… you are way too loyal.”

Maggie nods, wearily. “I want to see her. See what she wants… I think that if I don’t meet her she’d become a problem… I don’t want her tracking you or Kara down…”

You smile at that, your fiancée is always looking out for you. “I’ll meet her with you, Mags. You don’t have to face her alone.”

“Really?”

“Really, really,” you smirk. “I kind of have to. I love you, you love me.” You finish with a shrug.

Maggie’s eyes shine and you know she is going to make a stupid comment now to diffuse the tension. “We're a great big happy family! With a smile and a kiss, a hug from me to you, won't you say you love me too?”

You shove your fiancée away, disgusted with her singing. She knows you hate Barney the Dinosaur since Kara made you listen to those damn songs over and over and over again when she was four for _months_. “Gross! Remind me why I want to marry you?”

Maggie’s laughing and you breathe easier knowing the crisis was averted. “I love you, you love me…” she says with a little singing thrown in there.

“Yes, love, I do love you… but you can’t sing, so please stop.”

Maggie throws her pillow at you and you can’t help, but let out an indignant squeal as it makes contact with your face, knocking your glasses off your face. “Maggie!”

Your fiancée is suddenly on top of you, tickling you like mad and you are laughing like insane. “I can sing, Danvers!”

“Noooooo!” you say as you push with your knees just enough to overpower Maggie and be the one on top in a swift move.

“’ama? ‘ommy?”

You two freeze at Kara’s sleepy voice before Maggie pins you beneath her, again. ~ _Another nightmare, sunshine?_ ~ she asks the moment you start struggling again, putting too much pressure on your wrists this time around and immobilizing you.

Damn, you need to workout… Maggie’s too strong for you. At least she’s not tickling you anymore.

You can see Kara’s rubbing her eye as she sucks her thumb. ~ _'athr'oom_ ,~ she says quietly.

Maggie grunts as you manage to buckle enough that she’s sent airborne for a second. ~ _Want to come and torture Mama with me before we go to sleep?~_

It’s a statement of all the weirdness your kid has seen over the months when Kara just shakes her head and climbs into the bed next to your struggling form. She crawls under the covers and snuggles as far away from the action as she can.

~ _Let go, silly_ ,~ you tell your fiancée, trying again, in vain, to throw her off you. ~ _I want to cuddle our kid_.~

Maggie sighs dramatically, but lets you go. You scoot to your side of the bed and Kara wastes no time in climbing over you, so she can be in the middle. The kid buries her nose in your chest and clutches your gemstone with her free hand. ~ _Night, baby,~_ you whisper into her hair after dropping a kiss on her hair. ~ _Rao, guide me in the darkness,~_ you say gently, knowing Kara fell asleep while you were reading to her before she made her prayers.

Kara takes out her thumb from her mouth, clutching your top with her moist hand. ~ _Rao, guide me in the darkness,~_ she repeats in a whisper. ~ _Let the light of your love brighten my way._

_~Help me understand my place. Help me face the dangers ahead. Help me understand myself. Allow me to serve you. Allow me to love you. Allow me to be yours. For days past, for the now, for those to come. Bless my homeland. Bless my loves ones. Bless my soul and give me faith._

_~Rao, let us reunite, let us be one again.~_ you finish with your kid as Maggie smiles at you both.

~ _Love you, Mama,~_ Kara breathes out, as sleep starts claiming her again.

~ _Love you, baby.~_

“Every time I hear you, praying with her I remember my dad,” Maggie whispers as she cuddles Kara from behind.

Your nose twitches. “Is that good or bad?”

“So good,” she murmurs, her eyes closing.

You know the conversation you had not so long ago drained her and, you’re certain that your small wrestling match was a last-ditch effort to forget the heaviness in her chest. Maggie is exhausted, but at least the stress lines she’s been carrying around all evening are gone.

You smile.

There’s no way she cheated on you. You know that.

You close your eyes.

You don’t need to believe, wish. She didn’t cheat.

You know she didn’t.

You know.

XxXxX

“Thank you so much for meeting me.”

You let Maggie pull the chair for you and help you sit comfortably at the table before you look at the woman in front of you.

She’s pretty, you will give her that. Her blonde hair nears platinum and her whiskey eyes shine with a deep you don’t get to see often. She’s wearing a nice pant suit that doesn’t really let you guess what she does for a living. Is she a lawyer? A librarian? A store clerk?

She smiles at you, widely and you frown at that.

Maggie called her that morning, to see if you could meet sometime during the weekend and the woman had instantly said she was free that day. How… convenient…

The meeting is going to be short, you will make sure of that, and so Susan is at your home taking care of Kara for a little while… they are probably beating Maggie’s scores at her latest racing game. You just hope she’s not giving Kara too much sugar.

“My name’s Lyla Michaels,” she tells you with an easy smile as soon as Maggie’s sitting next to you and across the woman. She turns to Maggie, then. “I know you, detective. However, I don’t think I’ve met your wife.”

You feel Maggie tense beside you as your frown deepen. Maggie’s no detective and, even when you joke about it, you’re still not married… and, if this woman knew Maggie was taken, why was she looking for Maggie? What does she want? This smells like a scam.

She turns to you then, with a wide smile. “Nice to meet you…?”

“Doctor Alex Danvers,” you say easily. “Not so sure it’s nice to meet you, though.”

Her smile falls at that, but she doesn’t look upset at all. She grows serious, yes, but even so, she doesn’t seem upset with your attitude. “I guess it wouldn’t be so nice meeting with the woman that claims bedded your lover…” She looks at Maggie and then at you as she says with earnest eyes. “I’m sorry I lied about that. I never slept with the detective here… but I needed to talk to her and this was the only way I knew she’d agree to meet me.”

“… you said you slept with me just so I’d talk to you?” Maggie’s tone is as incredulous as you feel.

Lyla winces at that. “Not my best idea or moment that I can assure you… but I’ve tried contacting you and you won’t listen.”

“I haven’t got any calls from strange or blocked numbers, I can tell you that.”

Lyla shakes her head. “Not that kind of contact.” She taps her temple with her index finger. “I kind of have a way of ‘calling’ many don’t possess.”

Her eyes flash for a microsecond and you are suddenly transported to another place, to another time.    

The edges of your vision are fuzzy, but you can see and hear everything in vibrant colour. You can see Maggie sitting at the bar, nursing her fifth shot if the empty glasses in front of her are any indication. You see her eyes half close as she sways lightly. Believe it or not, Maggie is a sleepy drunk opposed to your silly drunk.

A woman is next to her, chatting with her. You can see she’s interested and it’s trying to make a pass on your girlfriend. Maggie, however, is ignoring her and she’s simply nursing her drink.

You feel yourself going to Maggie, resting a pale hand on her shoulder. “Hey, babe,” you say, but it’s not your voice. “Sorry I made you wait.”

The lady that’s been hitting on Maggie huffs and leaves and you take her place, sitting as close as you can to your fiancée and you notice you’re wearing a pink dress… you don’t own a pink dress.

“I don’t know you,” Maggie slurs as she side-eyes you. “But thanks for making her leave.”

You feel yourself smile. “That’s okay.” You wait for a beat. “I’m Lyla.”

“I’m taken,” your girlfriend says curtly.

Your smile widens. “Congratulations! What’s the beau’s name?”

Maggie’s eyes narrow. “… why would you care?”

You peg the bartender and order yourself a martini. “I don’t,” you say amused. “But if you’re drinking yourself silly when there’s someone waiting for you… you might need someone to talk to.”

Maggie smiles sadly at that. “I might.”

You sip your recently delivered drink and turn to face Maggie completely. “So, stranger, talk away.”

You’re pulled back into your body and see how Lyla’s looking at both of you, amused. “Sorry I did that… needed you to see what happened that night.”

You blink away your confusion as Maggie groans, rubbing her forehead. “You’re a mind-altering alien.”

Lyla huffs at that. “No, I’m not. I’m a mind-altering meta human… there’s a difference.” She scrunches her nose. “Actually, I’m telepathic, not mind-altering.”

That’s when it dawns on you.

“Your dreams, Mags,” you tell your fiancée. “She is the one sending you those dreams.”

Lyla beams. “Been sending you images for days now. It wasn’t until a friend told me it would be too ambiguous, so, I have made it my goal to look for you.”

Maggie nods, warily. “And you have been looking for me because…?”

The brightness in her face suddenly vanishes. “Your little kid, Kara, is in danger.”

Fear washes over you as Maggie tensed next to you. However, before either of you can actually demand answers your phone starts ringing.

You look at it and see Susan’s number flashing.

Lyla sighs. “Too late for that one, now.”

XxXxX

When Maggie and you sit to talk after this long day, you can’t believe how your life made such a drastic turn.

XxXxX

“Susan?” There’s fear in your voice as you answer your phone.

“ _Thank God_.” You can hear the relief in her voice. You can also hear voices rustling in the background and crying.

So much crying.

Kara’s crying.

“ _Kara’s okay,”_ she tells you hurriedly. “ _But we’ve got a problem…”_

“Susan! What happened?!” Maggie’s up at that instant, gathering your jackets in her arms and getting close to you to hear what’s going on.

You hear a nervous sigh escape her lips. “ _The army came looking for Kara.”_ You freeze midway to standing up before you collapse in your chair again… this can’t be. This cannot be. “… _Alex… CADMUS came for Kara.”_

You knew this was going to happen sooner or later. You know this is destiny pulling the rug under your feet.

How stupid you were. Thinking CADMUS would ever leave you alone.

How naïve you were. Believing they forgot all about you.

How incredibly selfish of you. Forgetting all about them, living your life as if they are no threat.

“CADMUS?” you whisper back, feeling the panic trying to settle in. You force it back, and you focus on what’s Susan telling you. You can feel Maggie’s worrying eyes on you, but you don’t have time to explain everything to her. “Where are you?”

“ _Easy, Alex… I’m at work, Kara’s with me and I’m sending someone to pick you up.”_

“Su, the Gotham U is not safe. You need to take Kara out of there.” You’re not going to panic. You’re not going to be irrational right now. You need to focus, even when the edges of your vision are threatening to darken.

Maggie is at your side, tense and you see Lyla looking at you with wide, scared eyes. You don’t have the mind to try to tell anything to either of them.

You just want your baby safe, in your arms.

“ _We’re not at school, Alex. I’ve got a couple of friends picking you up in a second… they’re almost there.”_

“Wha-”

As if on cue, a couple of suited men come over to your table and you notice that Lyla is gone, even when she was there just a second ago.

No time to worry about that.

You need to focus.

“ _Alex… Murphy and Miller are there to help you. Don’t be afraid, okay? They will bring you to Kara… they will ask you to wear hoods, Al. You need to let them take you here without questions.”_

“Ma’am,” the man on the left tells you with a nod. “Agent Vasquez sent us.”

“ _I need to go back to Kara, Al. Everything is going to be fine.”_ Susan hangs up and you are left facing the two men before you. Maggie’s eyeing the sullen man and you see how she has her hand poised near her gun. You know she has decided she’s carrying her gun from now on, even when she’s not on active duty at the moment, and, while you were wary this morning when she donned her gun, you are grateful she is packing right now.

The man who addressed you smiles tightly. “I’m Agent Miller, ma’am,” he says as he shows you a FBI badge. “Agent Vasquez’s a friend of ours.”

FBI badge.

Didn’t Susan quit at the CIA?

Did she change to the FBI?

“I’m sorry, Agent,” Maggie bites out. “I’m not sure I follow.”

Miller and… Murphy? exchange a look.

“We were told you’ve been told of our presence,” Murphy grumbles.

“Susan said to go with them,” you inform Maggie, still a little out of sorts. Any panic you’d have is dulled now and you’re lost.

You don’t know what’s happening.

You don’t know what to think.

“Alex?” Maggie questions you with a single word. What are you talking about? Is Kara okay? What are we doing?

“We need to go with them.”

Maggie nods at you while Miller tells you, “please follow us.”

You grab Maggie’s hand and rise.

~ _Are you sure about this_?~ Maggie asks you in a hushed murmur as you walk behind Miller, Murphy at your back.

~ _No_ ,~ you answer her honestly. ~ _Kara’s in danger... I trust Susan.~_

Maggie’s face sets in determination, but you can see the fear in her eyes. ~ _Tell me everything.~_

You follow the agents to an unmarked SUV and you gulp when Murphy opens the back door for you. “I’ll need that gun, Officer,” he says, holding out his hand.

Maggie frowns and looks at you. You nod because, really, what else can you do at this point?

“In you go,” he says the moment Maggie’s gun is in his hand.

Maggie’s the first to climb in and you follow suit. ~ _They’re blinding us,~_ you inform Maggie.

Your fiancée nods stiffly. ~ _I gathered as much… Murphy here seems sunny.~_

You stifle a laugh at that as the men climb in the front. Murphy’s driving and Miller turn so he can see you both. “We’re driving for a little while,” he informs you. “We’ll ask you to wear this in a couple of minutes.” He hands you a couple of black cloth bags. “… the place we’re going is… classified.”

Maggie snorts but takes the bags. “Gotcha.”

“And please, stop speaking in code,” Murphy says. “We need to know what you’re saying at all times.”

You nod as Maggie vocalize your consent. “Yes, sir.”

This drive is going to be long.

XxXxX

And long it was.

After you put on the bag, the agents drive you around for what feels like hours. At some point, you heard the bustle of the city fade away and you’re certain you’re somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

Maggie’s hand keeps holding yours and you can feel how, little by little, as more time pass, she holds you with a little more force.

You can’t but do the same, showing your silent support and taking her silent love.

You feel the SUV park and hear the engine cut. “We’re here, ladies,” Miller says.

“Can we take these things off?” Maggie asks from beside you.

“Yes,” Murphy says curtly and you waste no time in doing just that. You’re in an underground parking lot and you gather you won’t be seeing any windows while you’re visiting the place.

What’s with the FBI and their secrets?

Murphy’s by the door once again, opening it for you. You get the feeling that door wouldn’t open if you tried it by yourself. “Thanks,” you tell him shortly.

“I don’t want to cuff you,” Miller says as he starts walking to the elevators. “Stay close, please.”

Maggie and you walk a step behind him, Murphy close to your heels.

“Where are we?” your fiancée asks.

“Classified.”

Maggie’s not deterred, though, especially when the elevator opens for you only after Miller’s eye got scanned. “You’re not really FBI, are you?”

“Classified,” Miller says again as you climb the spacious elevator.

“… that’s a confirmation. You know that, right?”

Murphy snorts amused and Miller sighs resigned, but neither of them say anything further.

The elevator doors open again and you’re met with a long hallway with windows along the walls. Miller starts walking again and you follow him, Murphy once again taking the rear. As you walk you can see labs set up at either side of the hallway and what looks like an armory, filled with what you can only assume are guns but are different from    those you’ve seen.

The place’s not quiet, no, but the noise is hushed and you get the feeling that you are seeing just a tiny, little bit of a really giant place. The air doesn’t feel stifling, on the contrary, it feels clear and sharp… almost as if you were outside in the woods, but without the piney smell.

 _~Are you okay?~_ Maggie asks softly, softly enough so that Miller and Murphy don’t scold you as she interlocks her fingers with yours, but loud enough you can hear her if you put the effort in it.

~ _I will be when Kara is in my arms.~_

Maggie nods in understanding, but before she can say anything a blur of yellow and pink is rushing at you at top speed from the other side of the hallway.

You release Maggie’s hand and kneel just in time to gather the small speedster in your arms.

“Mama, Mama, Mama…”

~ _Shh, baby, shh. Mom and I are here. We’re here_ ,~ you say as you feel a cold nose rub into your neck and the tears that will dampen your shirt in no time. ~ _Easy, love, we’re here.~_

Maggie’s kneeling beside you, embracing you both with fierce determination. _~Shh, sunshine. Mama’s right, we’re here.~_

 _~I-I-~_ Kara chokes out, reaching out to hug Maggie around the neck, her other arm clutching at you tightly, almost tightly enough to hurt.

~ _Shh, baby, shh.~_

“Alex,” Susan’s voice is what you hear next and you look up to see your friend’s worried eyes fixed on you.

“What happened?” Maggie demands of her and you remember she doesn’t really know what’s going on.

What danger Kara is in.

Susan looks at you and nods towards an open door some meters away. “Come, let’s talk in a more private place.”

You nod, standing up and letting Maggie take Kara in her arms. Maggie’s the stronger one out of you two, she’s the one with the training and, even when you know it’s hopeless, you feel Maggie has more chances to get Kara out here if things go south.

You know Maggie know that too as she exchanges a quick sharp glance with you.

~ _Mama!~_ Kara whimpers, reaching for you and you notice her thumb is moist. Poor baby, she must’ve been terrified, sucking her thumb to try to calm herself.

“ _I’m here, baby,”_ you tell her, combing a hand through her hair. “ _Let me see what Su wants to tell me, yes?”_

 _~Mama!~_ She again tries to latch on you and out of Maggie’s arms, but you steady her on your fiancée’s arms.

~ _Let Mama go, so she can talk with Vasquez, baby, okay? I’ll stay with you,~_ Maggie tells her softly.

You probably couldn’t, but you fall in love with Maggie even more. She has no idea what’s happening, but even so, she’s letting you manage the crisis while she focuses one hundred percent on Kara.

She’s making sure your kid is at ease… that she’s at least calm in this mess.

You remember how around six months ago, when Kal came visit, Maggie was the one to face the music. She was the one that fixed the problem. The one that got things done on behalf of Kara while you took care of your girl.

It’s your turn now, and just as you put all your trust in Maggie doing everything in Kara’s best interest, you trust her now to flee if she can with the girl.

She now trusts you enough to take care of it.

And you feel a huge weight lift off your shoulders.

~ _I’ll be back, baby ,~_ you tell Kara before leaving a kiss on her forehead. ~ _Mommy’s with you, Kara. You’re not alone.~_

Kara sniffles loudly, but nods. ~ _I love you, Mama,~_ she tells you as she puts her thumb back into her mouth, sucking madly.

 _~I love you, too, baby . So, so much,~_ you tell her as you look to Maggie and try to convey your love goes to her too.

“Go,” your fiancée says. “We will be here when you come back.”

You nod, a shaky nod, just like the one Kara gave you a little while ago. You turn to Susan, ready to see what’s this all about. How is that CADMUS found about Kara? How is that Susan managed to escape with your kid?

How is that, suddenly, Susan is a non-FIB agent?

XxXxX

“Little Danvers, it’s been a while,” a gruff voice says the moment you enter the spacious room.

Susan told you, you will find all your answers with her boss and she directed to where you can find him.

She led you to a wide room, a floor up, and left you to walk through a catwalk from where you can see what’s happening on the first floor.

Below, you can see to the right there are several screens, each of them showing different maps, different footage, different data, different people’s names and photos, all changing constantly. A group analysts, or at least you guess they are analysts, are typing away in front their computers and there’s a huge table in the middle, covered in maps and papers.

When you hear the voice, though, you can’t help, but look startled to the man before you as a ghost from your past materializes in front of you.

“Mister Hank?” you say in shock. You cannot help it, but go back to the childish name you used to address him with.

Your right-hand goes to the bulky watch you sometimes wear, a watch that helps you remember with fondness the few happy times of your childhood. When this nice man visited your dad but took the time to explain to you things you didn’t understand without making you feel stupid. When this nice man would, a handful of times, teach you about stars and constellations.

It was after Kal left to become a Kent, but years before Kara came living with you, that you last saw him.

“It’s Director Henshaw, now, Little Danvers.”

You nod, jerkily. “Sorry, Director.” You’ve always respected this man. You know he didn’t work in the same company as your parents, but he sometimes went on missions with them. Sometimes, when your dad was away for weeks this man would come back home with him.

He was agent of some sort, you know that.

And apparently, he’s the director of whatever organization this is, now.

Sudden fear washed over you for a hot second… exactly what organization is this?

The man looks at you, his expression serious and hard, but his eyes shine with the same warmth they used to have when you’d look up at him as he explained you the stars. He nods at you, accepting your awkward apology. “I gather you’re not aware of what’s happening, right?”

“No, sir.”

He gestures towards the main floor and frown. “We received a call, an anonymous call, saying Agent Vasquez and the kid she was looking after were in danger. The caller also said the kid is related to Eliza and Jeremiah Danvers.”

“Was,” you tell him quietly. “They… they passed away about a year ago.”

He smiles sadly at you like he used to do when you accidentally entered a room when your parents and he were talking and your mom snapped at you to leave. “I’m sorry to hear that, Alex.”

You nod. You don’t miss them, but you guess he can’t know that.

Your relationship with your parents was a shaky one and he saw more of it than you are comfortable with, but they were your parents and the last time you saw him you were probably fifteen years old, when your dad stopped going to missions and joined your mom full time in the lab.

Things change in almost ten years.

He can’t know you resent your dead parents.

You smile shakily. “I know you didn’t work for CADMUS,” you tell Hank, wanting answers, needing to know what’s happening. “Do you now?” Again, it’s been years and you can’t be certain of anything.

Hank’s frown deepens at that. “No, Alex, I’ve never worked for CADMUS. No. They are monsters. You’re at one of the Department of Extranormal Operations bases. We dedicate to defend this planet from threats that come from beyond.”

_Threats that come from beyond._

Aliens.

Kara.

You tense, but try to keep you face blank. “Aliens,” you state.

“Yes.”

“You fight aliens.”

“We make sure they don’t go, rogue,” Hank says easily. “You know aliens walk among us and we can’t see them. We make sure they can keep hiding and they don’t abuse their abilities.”

You eye him, warily as he goes and leans over the partition, looking down the floor. Somehow, you feel you’re being tested and you don’t know why or what for. You follow his gaze down and see that Susan is escorting Maggie, Kara still in her arms, across the large space to where, you don’t know.

There are so many things you don’t know.

“Susan said CADMUS was after my daughter,” you say when Maggie, Kara, and Susan disappear around a corner. You want to ask where they’re going, but something tells you right now it’s not the time.

You really feel like you are being tested.

Hank raise an unimpressed eyebrow at that but still doesn’t take his eyes off the main floor. “I wasn’t aware she was yours…  I might have my dates messed up, I believed you to be still too young.”

That makes you frown. “Don’t play dumb. You know Kara’s not human,” you state.

“Yes.”

Your patience is running low and whatever game Hank is playing is not appreciated. You need to know exactly what happened and so far, you only know CADMUS found Kara and that your kid was taken to this facility to, what? Be protected? Be tested? Be hidden?

Be locked away?

“Then tell me what the hell is going on. My baby’s in danger and I have no fucking idea what’s going on!”

Hank smiles at that, eyes still off of you.

“There’s the fire I remember.”

You feel like snarling, you really do. You’re not too sure it’ll help you right now, so you try to contain yourself. “Please, Director. Tell me why is Kara here,” you grit out.

Hank nods. “Agent Vasquez’s been working for us for a while, but she’s still in training. After we received the call, we were able to intercept a group of CADMUS agents headed towards your apartment. Vasquez managed to flee just in time and she was ordered to bring Kara here,” he says as he turns to look at you in the eye. “The DEO works under the President’s orders, so the Army has no say in here. Right now, the DEO is the safest place for Kara. And you.”

You shake your head. “It doesn’t make sense,” you tell him. “Kara was with my parents for years. They worked with CADMUS until the very end… CADMUS wasn’t aware of Kara… why are they after her now?... we made sure no one knew of Kara.”

And that’s the real problem, you think. You knew organizations like CADMUS existed ever since you were old enough to comprehend where your parents worked. Yes, your parents worked with CADMUS, worked there since before you were born. Their work was the reason a young Kal-El lived with them for a year before being placed with the Kents… the Army needed to know the alien wasn’t a threat, that they didn’t need to kill him before he did something with his abilities.

So, yes, you know that there are groups that monitor alien activity as there are groups that looked to experiment on aliens and their biology… such as CADMUS.

CADMUS was, still is, the worst place on Earth for an alien to be. You know that. You’ve read your parents’ research, their experiments, their history with the organization.

Yes, you moved to Gotham to take Kara far away from Midvale and the memories… but you also moved to Gotham to try and put as much distance between who your parents were and what you want to become.

You want to help aliens, protect them.

They wanted to experiment with them, learn their secrets and apply them to better the human race.

It’s a wonder why they took Kara in and hid her so well. Part of you know it had to do with Kal and the fact that your parents consider him their own – they considered him their own kin, closer than what you ever could achieve. The rest of you, however, is baffled they never turned Kara in.

Looking back, one of the main reason you chose to drop out school and focus on Kara was because you were afraid CADMUS would come looking for the little girl. You used to live in fear back then. You lived in fear after your parents died. You lived in fear until Maggie showed up.

And now, now that your demons are knocking at your door, yes, you feel scared, but not like before. Maggie’s at your side and that makes things far better. Way easier to face.

Hank smiles thinly at that. “We don’t know,” he tells you. “But we’re working on it. We’ll make sure Kara’s safe.” He looks at the screens and you look with him how the faces and names flashes.

“Why? How?”

Hank turns to you again. “We have a registration system of sorts, believe it or not. We have the information of almost all the aliens in the country. Some, like your kid, fell through the cracks, but we know where we can find most of them… somehow, CADMUS’s been able to find them, no matter how well hidden they are. They are taking them, Alex, and it’s our duty to make sure they are set free… we need to know how they’re getting their information. If they can track a little alien girl that’s not in our system… they can track anyone and that, Alex, is exactly why we are here. To prevent them doing more harm.”

You comb a trembling hand through your hair. “That’s the why… not the how.”

Hank’s smile widens, and somehow it makes you feel a little at ease. “That, Agent Danvers, is where you come in.”

XxXxX

“Director!” an agent comes running to the new room you’re stationed. Maggie’s sitting in a comfy looking couch with Kara, both fast asleep. Maggie’s been too tense for far too long and it warms your heart that she’s getting a little shut eye now that all the panic is gone. She looks tense and you know the moment someone goes near them she’ll be up and alert in a second, always protecting Kara.

Hank gave you two an hour or so to talk through his proposal and, even when it feels like you are selling your soul, this is the best outcome you can dream for right now.

Maggie’s not too convinced in how they are doing things, but she supports you and she too can see that this is the easiest way out the mess you are in. You know she’s also glad Kara has now another layer of protection around her.

Your fiancée was offered the same deal, but after discussing it, you decided it was better if you were the only one to take it. Not only did Maggie’s interests lie somewhere else, by you being the only one doing this, you have a way out for Kara if things go south.

You can divorce and Maggie can take full custody of Kara if this mess gets too big.

Susan had taken Kara play with some of the computers you saw while you were talking to Hank, leaving you to talk in private and you’re grateful for that, because the feelings that were addressed and the heavy topics touched would have been too much for your eleven-years-old daughter.

The last thing you want is for Kara to feel guilty or responsible for the next chapter of your lives.

“Stuart,” Hank addresses the young man who came running from his spot at your side. He’s been helping you fill out forms and he’s been explaining to you what’s expected from you the moment all formalities are finalized. “What is it?”

Stuart grimaces at the harsh tone and you have to see to where your family is napping to make sure the sudden volume didn’t wake them up. No. Kara is still snuggled against her Mommy and both are sleeping, even when Maggie’s brow is a little tense.  “Sorry, Sir. General Lane and his entourage are here… they demand talk to you.”

Hank’s eyebrow rise. “General Lane? Weren’t we expecting the always happy Colonel Harper?”

Susan – no, Vasquez – snorts from your other side at the table, she’s been rereading all your info, making sure you jotted down what you needed to.

Stuart shifts uneasy in his place and you want to snort too. Hank is intimidating, yes, but you know he’s a big teddy bear… or rather, he was such a teddy bear when you were a kid, so maybe he’s changed.

Nah. The warmth you feel emanating from his solid form at your right makes you at ease. Whatever test he was putting you through finished as soon as he made his deal and the impotence and desperation you felt at his lack of answers disappeared with it. You know you passed his trial and that’s the reason you were offered the deal.

A deal that’s way too magnificent for him not care about you.

“No, Sir,” the agent says again. “It’s general Lane this time… he brought several forms and the big guns.”

Hank sighs. “Do we know why he’s here?”

Stuart’s eyes stray to the couch, to the sleeping forms. “Apparently, he’s demanding we hand in our latest prisoner. He says the alien threat is too dangerous for us to keep.” 

That makes your blood boil. Kara’s no prisoner. She’s no threat and she definitely is not dangerous.

Hank sighs again. He turns to you and the stack of papers in front of you. “Have you filled forms 4AF and DC52?”

“Those are the first she sighed,” Su- Vasquez answers for you, handing them to Hank as you keep writing, feeling your hand threaten to cramp. “They are somewhat legible, Sir.”

You bump S- Vasquez’s shoulder with you own, playfully. Somehow, knowing there’s an out for all this makes you feel light. Vasquez helped Kara, fleeing your apartment before anything could happen and for that, you’d be eternally grateful.

It’s good to know that Susan – Vasquez – is coming with you and that you won’t be alone in this new chapter of your life.

Of course, Maggie’s coming with you (it kind of goes without saying, even when you feel so guilty she’s leaving her life behind), as is Kara, but it’s nice knowing you will be out your deep and Su – Vasquez – is going to help you immensely with that.

Hank takes the two thick wads of papers and you wince, remembering those two were the most tiring to fill. “Are the backgrounds ready?”

Sus- Vasquez quickly checks something on the tablet that’s resting by her elbow. “They are done, sir. All digital trails are up and running and all the documents should be printed within the half hour.”

Hank rises, a hand clamping over your shoulder. “Finish these and come find me in the Control Room. You will need to talk to them, so learn your history.”

You nod. Vasquez said this is the last batch of forms and you’ve already committed to memory what’s your new life… or at least you’ve learned the basics… the information that’s on form 4AF. That’s the one that labels you as a top agent within the agency, a trusted lab head and an agent of three years… It may be a lie, yes, but it’s the best alibi you can have at the moment.

Apparently, the DEO is opening a base at the other side of the country and you are now one of the agents that will go work there. You will be training to fill in the position you’ve supposedly had for over three years as soon as you get there, and you’ll be put to work both in the field and in the labs as soon as you finish the training.

It sounds exciting, but it’s also terrifying.

Hence why you’re happy Susa- Vasquez – is transferring with you to National City.

And, not only did Hank’s deal will feed your growing baby, you will also get to work on the projects you haven’t had funds to before _and_ you will get to work with aliens closely. Exactly what you wanted to do when you decided to study alien physiology.

Part of the deal also includes a new house and new names and backgrounds… or, rather, mostly new names and mostly new backgrounds.

You are now Doctor Alexandra Caroline Sawyer, wife of Detective Margaret Ellen Danvers and mother of Kara Álainn Danvers-Sawyer. Your basic story is the same as your real one, with the only difference that you’ve been working with the DEO part-time as you work for your Ph.D. and that Maggie has accepted an offer to go be an Officer at NCP instead of staying at Gotham.

You have married two years ago, according to your new papers, changing names and all and officially adopting Kara at the same time. Officially, your last names are different, but you hadn’t wanted to attract attention to it, so all the papers you’ve been writing this whole time kept your maiden name. Same as Maggie, who preferred to go by her maiden name at the Academy.

Kara’s records and papers have been already altered to have her new last name and something tells you your kid will be beyond happy when she’s made aware of them.

Hank leaves with Stuart, and Maggie opens her eyes, letting you know she’s been awake the whole time.

“You think that’s the Lane I’m thinking about?” she asks you as you keep filling forms and Vasquez keeps reading over your shoulder.

You pause at that, looking at her worried eyes. You know Maggie met Lucy Lane at military camp when she was twelve and the youngest Lane was thirteen. They’ve spent the summers at each other houses since then when they weren’t at camp and you know Maggie has grown to be like the other little Lane over the years.

You know Maggie’s mom, her dad having passed away shortly before, showed support to what Maggie wanted to do with her life and career, but you also know that the Lanes were not happy with it. Lucy was already at West Point by then and you know she was expecting Maggie to join her as soon as she finished high school, but Maggie had other plans, wanting to become a police officer rather than a soldier and Lucy accepted that with a smile… what she didn’t accept, nor her family (bar Lois, you think), is that she chose to take alien studies and, later on, chose to change her plans and went from the Homicide Division to the Science Division.

Kate was the real reason she chose the change, she’s told you, but you’re aware that her study focus was chosen since she was young.

Your Maggie has always wanted equality for the minorities and there’s no minority more violated than aliens and meta humans.

So, yeah, your fiancée has history with the Lanes, not a good history as of late, but you know she loves them as their own family and it hurts her knowing that maybe, yes that Lane being _her_ Lane is saddening.

“Maybe, Mags. Maybe.” You chew on your lower lip for a second. “Want to come, once I go meet them?” You don’t ask if that’s okay or if Maggie needs to be left behind, you know Maggie needs this and so you’re taking her with you if she so wishes.

Maggie nods, wearily. “Yeah, I want to come.”

Susa- Vasquez sighs heavily from beside you.

“What?” you ask her, knowing she has an opinion to share.

“… just thinking how difficult working with you will be.”

“As if,” you snort. You’re relatively bossy and a little hardheaded, but you’re not hard to work with. Your ducklings like working with you.

Oh, your ducklings. You’re going to miss them.

The knowing look Vasquez levels you with tells you she differs. “Sawyer going with you is against protocol.”

“I don’t care,” you shrug as Maggie also snorts from her place.

“See? Difficult to work with. Pam is going to be so done with you.”

“Pam?”

“She’s our HR director. She’s going with us to National City.”

“Oh.”

XxXxX

“So, this is the agent you’ve been telling us about.”

You enter the Command Room when you’re done and you frown at how rude this man is. Maggie’s with Kara, calming her down so she can stay with Vasquez and she can join you later at meeting with the army.

“Yes,” Hank nods. “Agent Sawyer here is in charge of our subject… she’s been taking care of her since Kara landed, roughly eight years ago.”

The army man is standing by the side, in a relaxed pose and a petite woman is standing at attention just a step behind him. Both are dressed in full uniform and a handful of soldiers are at ease at the back of the room.

Seeing those two, together, makes you uneasy. You’ve seen enough childhood photographs to know who they are and your stomach rolls at knowing what can happen once Maggie comes join you.

You’re aware they haven’t spoken in months and suddenly this cover story doesn’t seem as easy to sell.

“Pleased to meet you, sir,” you say in your most polite voice.

“Sawyer,” he nods at you, but you can see the assholeness irradiating from him. Yes, he’s irradiating assholeness… that bad he is. “Tell me, are you capable of taking care of such a danger to our country.”

You grit your teeth, but heed the advice Hank gave you and try to rein in your frustration. “Sir, with all due respect, Kara is just an eleven-years-old girl. I’ve been taking care of her since she was two. She’s never done anything to be considered dangerous.” You wait for a beat, looking for a vein in his forehead tick. “Sir.”

“The subject attacked a man yesterday,” he informs you coldly as the woman at his side presents you a wad of papers.

You frown at that, taking the papers, as Hank is the one to take control of the conversation. “The man was arrested for mugging, Lane. He attacked first. It was a good thing the girl was there, she saved the life of Officer Danvers.”

Rage starts boiling in you as you read the papers. The damned mugger that attacked your fiancée and kid was released by this stupid woman that’s looking too hauntingly for your liking. They are telling that this mugger, this bastard, was attacked by Kara and they are glossing over the fact that the druggie shot a gun at them, twice.

Really, are these people in charge of defending your country?

“Nonetheless,” General Lane scoffs. “It attacked the man.”

“Sir,” you interrupt whatever Hank was going to say, choosing to ignore for now how he addressed Kara. You get the feeling they have gone over this for a while now. “What did she supposedly do?”

The woman quirks an eyebrow. “It attacked him with laser beams.”

You can’t help it. You snort at that.

Both Lane and his companion scowl at you and you struggle to bite back your incredulity and anger. “Sorry, sir, ma’am,” you shake your head. “First of all, Kara’s a ‘she’. Not an ‘it’. And second, that’s impossible. Kara is too young to use that ability.”

“So, you aren’t denying it possesses laser beams?” the woman questions you immediately.

“She. And, no, ma’am. She doesn’t possess that ability at the moment… in fact, what she has are no laser beams, ma’am. Her species is capable of heat beams… there is a difference.”

You can’t help the sass that accompanies your statement and you’re pleased to hear muffled chuckling from the agents around the room and the not so muffled snort Hank gives out.

The woman’s scowl deepens. “Laser or heat doesn’t matter. It, is a hazard for those around.”

Hank sighs. “She’s eleven, Major. She can’t use that ability yet.”

Lane sniffs loudly. “Exactly, it, is eleven. It, is a hazard. It has no control.”

That makes whatever little patience you have left go. “She’s eleven, yes, but she has amazing control,” you snap. “She has never done anything to harm anyone and she will never do something like that!”

“Sawyer,” Hank gently scolds you and you struggle to take in a deep breath. In the back of your mind, it amazes you how he called you ‘Sawyer’ and how it sat so well with you… it’s almost as if you’ve been called that for years.

However, you were not supposed to lose control. You were instructed since the beginning not to lose control. Not to let them get to you. And dammit, you’ve failed your very first assignment as Agent Sawyer.

“Sorry, Sirs, ma’am…” you apologize through gritted teeth. “Kara’s my daughter, and I can assure you my wife and I will never let her be dangerous. She’s in control and most of her powers haven’t kicked in yet. She’s young, but she’s learning as she grows and she has a heart of gold many would envy. I promise when she reaches her maturity she won’t be a hazard.”

General Lane’s eyebrow shots up at the mention of your wife and you wonder if he’s going to be difficult about that too. “I doubt it will be in our bests interests if the… subject… grows in your care, Agent. It would be better if we take it with us,” he says as you notice how, ever so subtly, the Major shifts in place.

“Why?” you demand. “Because I love her? Because I’m a woman? Or, it is because I’m a lesbian?”

He exchanges a quick look with the Major, but whatever was going to be said is interrupted by a cry that both makes your heart break and your uneasiness grow.

~ _Mama!~_

Kara comes running at a speed a little too fast for a normal human and barrels into you with almost no force. Yes, your kid kept control of her strength even now and you’re so grateful she didn’t fly to you or did anything too obvious in front these close minded people.

The last thing you need is for Kara to give them more ammunition.

~ _Mama!_ ~ she cries in your lab coat. Yes, they even put you into uniform before releasing you to the wolves.

You reach to pick up your kid and start talking to her, ignoring all the eyes in the room. ~ _Kara, baby. You needed to stay with Susan or Mommy.~_

Kara shakes in your arms as she hugs your neck with a little too much force. ~ _H-He said- He s-said he’s ta-taking me a-away!~_

You close your eyes at that. Of course, she was hearing everything. You open your eyes and catch Hank’s steady glance. ~ _No, Kara, I promise he won’t take you away. I promise.~_

_~S-Swear by- by Rao?~_

Kryptonians are not allowed to swear. The only swear, the only true promise, is made to Rao to always be true to him and to oneself. So, swearing by Rao not only is a sin, it’s inconceivable. It’s like making a promise to death and life itself. It’s beyond possible, beyond understandable. So, of course, you waste no time in sealing your promise to her. _~I swear by Rao, my love that I won’t let them take you.~_

“Take her?!” Maggie’s angry voice is heard next as she comes running into the room. She looks around, her eyes pausing briefly in General Lane and his companion before she’s by your side. “Take her?” she asks again as she reaches to rub Kara’s trembling back. Kara’s face is hidden in your neck and you can feel her tears dampen your coat.

“No one, but your wife and you are taking Kara, Officer Danvers,” Hank says strongly, glaring at the sudden shocked General and Mayor.

“Maggie?” The woman, Lucy, says with surprise.

“Hey, Luce,” Maggie’s tone is not unfriendly, but it’s definitely cold. “Care to tell me why you plan on taking my baby away from us?”

Lucy and Lane stiffen at that. “Your baby?” the General asks, before frowning. “I wasn’t aware your love for the… strange… has gotten you this low, Margaret.”

“I’ve been married to my wife for two years, general,” she informs him steadily. “I’m sorry we haven’t seen each other in so long that you forgot I prefer the fairer sex.”

The General’s frown deepens and you see with curiosity how Lucy shifts ever so lightly in her place again… it’s almost as if she’s too uncomfortable with this topic. “I wasn’t aware you married, Margaret. Or that you took a dangerous alien as your own.”

Maggie smiles sweetly and fakes at him. “Our wedding was a small affair and I’m sorry to say we didn’t invite anyone.” She turns to Lucy, something in her eyes speaking of danger. “It was, as I said, _two years ago,_ and I knew Lucy had better _things to do_ than come visit for the weekend for a small wedding… although I’m sure she _remembers_ I told her I tied the knot. I told her how Alex was so beautiful she looked like _Helen_ of Troy and how she dyed her hair _darker_ for the occasion. It was a shame she was otherwise _occupied_ and didn’t _tell you_ the good news, General.”

Lucy stiffens at whatever message Maggie is sending her, but really, they are best of friends and they have their own code, pretty much like how you and Vasquez can have a long debate with just rolling eyes and hand signals.

“Yes,” she says after a beat. “I knew she was married… I just never thought she was married to a DEO agent… or that the kid she talks so much about is an alien. She made her sound like such a sweet kid I never imagined she’d be… our subject.”

General Lane looks at his daughter strangely, but nods. He turns to Hank and shakes his head, irritated. “Fine,” he concedes. “The alien can stay with you, but we will be watching closely. Any other incident and it will be removed from your care.”

Hank scowls at that and you hug Kara closer to your chest. She’s still crying, but she’s not making any sound and that on itself it’s heartbreaking. “I’d like to see you try, Lane. Leave, before you make a bigger fool of yourself. Kara stays with her mothers, whether you like it or not.”

Lane’s upper lip twitch, but he turns around and marches to his five soldiers, barking them to leave. Lucy, though, comes close to you, and position herself as to be heard only by Maggie and yourself.

“That was low, Sawyer,” she whispers harshly. “Threaten me with Helena in front of my father.”

“All is fair in love and war, Luce,” Maggie tells her and you notice for the first time how tired she looks. “I can’t let you take my kid.”

Lucy’s lip twitches like her father’s did not so long ago. “It, is not yours, it, is an alien and it will be dangerous.” She fixes her glare on you next. “Father’s right. We’ll be watching you. The smallest mistake we will be taking it.”

“I would like to see you try, _Lane_ ,” Maggie says her name mockingly. “You may be a Major, but you lack something we do.”

“Yeah?” she scoffs. “What? Something stupid like love?”

Maggie smirk and you can feel Kara shifting ever so lightly to see the discussion. “No, Major. We have the balls to fight for what’s right… you, you just follow daddy around, like a stupid lap dog waiting for approval.”

Lucy’s face suddenly gets red in her anger, but before she can counterattack, the bellowing yell of General Lane is heard. “Major Lane! We’re leaving with or without you!”

“Go,” Maggie says acidly. “Before you get stranded here with us alien lovers.”

Lucy doesn’t say anything to that, she just turns and storms out the place.

You rest a hand on Maggie’s sudden hunched shoulder. ~ _You okay, love?~_ You cannot imagine having that kind of confrontation with Susan and not feeling like shit afterwards.

Maggie exhales shakily. ~ _No,~_ she admits. ~ _But I have you both near and safe and that’s the only thing that matters.~_

You nod, understanding that once you get home you will not only have a clingy little girl in your arms the whole night, but also a heartbroken wife to hold through her tears.

But, Maggie’s right.

You’re all near and safe and that’s what matters.

No matter you practically sold your soul to a secret organization.

No matter you’re moving to the other side of the country.

No matter Maggie just lost her best friend.

You’re all together and safe.

That’s what matters.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @reinakonanofate wanted to add her two cents:
> 
>  
> 
> _Well, isn't this embarrassing. *Blushes*_
> 
>  
> 
> _This time it was all my fault and Char is completely innocent but once again life got in the way, funny how before I had the privilege of Beta reading Kismet I had so much time in my hands and now suddenly I'm constantly busy, also we have had so many weather alerts in my county, (Yes, it's meant to say county, not country.) tornado alerts, severe thunderstorms alerts, flash floods alerts, strong winds alerts, hail alerts and the weather in my State had been crazy lately, and also I wanted to give Char a chance to have a chapter or two more before posting this one, so my deepest apologies and know that I'm currently beta reading chapter 19 and chapter 20 is already in the works._
> 
>  
> 
> _Once again, I'm so sorry for my lateness and forgive me for any grammatical errors._
> 
>  
> 
> Shh, don't listen to her... all tardiness is a joint effort, really.
> 
> And, yep, working on chapter 20... which is going to be the beginning of a mini arc within the story... a mini arch that was going to be 2 chapters long and has now grown to be 4 chapters long... so wait for around 30k words of a mini adventure our little family is going to embark!!!!
> 
> Also, I'm heading out of town for around 4 days, so I won't be able to write then... but, please contact us and drop us a prompt. We are working overtime trying to make this story as grand as it deserve to be and we're always in the look out for ideas.
> 
> And, before you go leave a comment... would you guy like to see our headcast for this story? Like, how @reinakonanofate and I think the main characters look? if so, leave in below and I'll add the images and names next chapter. (We all know Chyler and Floriana are Mama and Mom, but I found a couple of pictures that show them younger and, well, more fit for Kismet :D)
> 
> Thanks for reading this rant and for reading this story and for being so awesome!!!!
> 
> Also, I dropped out of school this week and that means no scholarship to help me buy medicines and the like... I'm looking for a job, but, in the mean time, would you consider helping me by inviting me a [Coffee](https://ko-fi.com/A518R68)? Thank you so much!!!!!


	19. Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m going to miss you so much!” 
> 
> You smile sadly at how Kate is kneeling by Kara. They are hugging so tightly you get the feeling that Kara might break Kate in half… If Kate doesn’t break your kid in half first.
> 
> “Come visit soon?” Kara asks and you know she is seconds away from crying.
> 
> “I promise, princess,” Kate kisses your girl’s temple and you notice that it’s time to go through security and say goodbye for now.
> 
> “Remember, this isn’t a goodbye, this is a ‘see you soon’."
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where they move to National City and start their brand new lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the wait!!!
> 
> @reinakonanofate and I are working really hard with this story and sadly sometimes we don't have the time to sit down to write or edit, but when we can't do that, we spend the hours plotting and ironing details so you guys can have the very best we can offer.
> 
> If you don't know yet, we when back and changed how we write _Kryptonian_ so, _~if you see dialogue like this, then you know they're speaking Kryptonian.~_
> 
> You'll understand this need later on.
> 
> \----
> 
> As always, beta love to @reinakonanofate to put up with my silliness and craziness and overall moodines, she's the best and deserve you all go bother her in tumblr.
> 
> Come visit me too, at @charis-chan for prompts, ideas, concerns and everything else except complains... I don't deal well with them... unless you write them in haikus... that'd be awesome!
> 
> Without further ado, please read on!!!

“I’m going to miss you so much!”

You smile sadly at how Kate is kneeling by Kara. They are hugging so tightly you get the feeling that Kara might break Kate in half… If Kate doesn’t break your kid in half first.

“Come visit soon?” Kara asks and you know she is seconds away from crying.

“I promise, princess,” Kate kisses your girl’s temple and you notice that it’s time to go through security and say goodbye for now.

“Remember, this isn’t a goodbye, this is a ‘see you soon’. I love you, and so does Renee. Can you tell me what she told you, last night?” she asks her in a loud whisper and you know this should be a secret of sorts and the whispering would actually work if you weren’t standing so close to them. You look at Alex and know she isn’t listening to this part of their whispered conversation. Too much punk music when she was younger, you think. That, and the horrid habit she has of using her headphones with the volume all the way up while conducting her experiments. To let the science flow, she says. To make her deaf, you think.

Or maybe it’s just that you’ve been training your hearing for months and you can hear better than the average Joe. Either way, you know you are eavesdropping, but with these two that is not impolite… It’s a security measure.

“That she regrets she couldn’t come today,” Kara answers her dutifully and just at quietly. “That she has a big case and couldn’t be here to see us off.”

Kate shakes her head. “No, no. Before that. What did she say about the you-know-what?”

Kara’s eyes brighten a little, not enough for her to stop being sad, and not enough for her to keep the tears at bay, but enough to know she is not as heartbroken. “That when you come visit she will have it ready!” she whispers as loudly as Kate did before, a little excitement heard in her voice.

“Exactly. That means we’re coming visit soon, okay?”

Kara sniffs. “Okay.”

“Come, baby,” Alex says, seeing how you checked your watch. She lets a hand rest on your kid’s shoulder, telling her softly, “we need to get going.”

Kara nods and steps outside Kate’s arms, clinging on Alex the moment her tears start to fall. “Mama,” she whimpers, holding her arms up to be held.

Alex obliges, picking up your little girl and cuddling her to her chest. “Shh, baby. If Auntie Kate and Auntie Renee don’t go visit us soon, we’ll come back as soon as we can, and we will drag them by their ears, okay? We will be back.”

Kara sniffs, but nods, resting her cheek on Alex’s shoulder, her hand going to play with Alex’s gemstone.

Alex smiles at Kate, still kneeling. “Thanks for dropping us off.”

Kate’s own smile is wobbly. “Don’t mention it. I would do anything for my little princess.”

You sigh. You didn’t think this was going to be so heartbreaking when Kate offered to drop you at the airport. You’ve sold your car and the apartment has been stripped down and all your boxes had been ship to your new address, so when it came to catching your plane, Kate was the one to offer to drop you off.

You know Kate is attached to Kara to a level that goes beyond friendship or even familial love. The kid is your daughter – blood doesn’t count anything for you when it comes to her –  and you love her more than life, so really, you can grasp why Kate is so in love with her for the most part. So, it came to no surprise that their farewells have already gone for half an hour.

You are far from annoyed, it just breaks you that Kate got attached so much in such a short period of time and now you have to leave her behind. It makes you remember that Kate’s family is gone and that she has just Renee to support her now that your little family is moving to National City.

For all Batwoman easygoing nature and friendly demeanor, Kate’s a solitary soul at heart and she lets so few people in that your heart aches. She’s got close to Kara, Alex and you and you know the separation is going to be too hard to her.

It’s just so sad. Even when you two were dating, you weren’t this close as you’ve gotten over the months Kate’s bonded with Kara.

You really hope Kate can go visit as soon as possible. You know Kate is going to miss Kara much more than Kara is going to miss her. Kara has you and Alex. Kate is mostly alone.

No. Not even Renee is going to be able to make her feel better.

So, it’s a no brainer when you go to Kate’s kneeling form and force her to her feet, embracing the life out of her. “I love you, madwoman,” you whisper in her ear. “Try not to die out there.”

Kate embraces you just as hard and you won’t ever tell on her how she’s dampening your neck where she’s hiding from the world, just as Kara does on several occasions. “I love you too, Mags.”

“Come visit,” you order her gently. “You can stay for as long as you want… you know you are part of our family, right?”

Kate nods against your skin. “Call if you need anything,” she tells you. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

You smile as you feel another arm going around Kate and you know Alex is joining to the hug when Kara’s little arms go around you and Kate both. “We love you, Auntie,” Kara whispers, leaving a kiss on Kate’s cheek.

“Yeah, Kate,” Alex chimes in, kissing Kate’s hair. “We love you. So, don’t be a stranger. We have a room with your name on it waiting at our new house.”

Kate shudders in your arms. “Okay,” she whispers, hugging you fiercely. “Okay. I will do anything to go and stay there. I promise.”

You sneak your own kiss to Kate’s temple. It amazes you how you are so physical now after spending a year and some with your ladies… they certainly changed you for the better. “You do that. Our life won’t be as fun without you in it, Candy Kane.”

Kate nods again, releasing you and quickly landing a kiss to your cheek, turning to hug Alex and squashing Kara between the two. “Thanks, Mama Bear,” she says in a whisper.

Alex rolls her eyes at the nickname Kate’s started calling Alex as soon as she found out what your wife did to protect Kara. Wow, it still tickles you that you get to call Alex your wife now. “Thanks for what, Kate?”

Batwoman let go of Alex and tells her in the most serious tone you have ever heard her use. “For letting me meet Kara. For letting me be her Aunt.”

Alex shakes her head and hands you Kara so she can cup Kate’s cheeks, drying the tears on them. “You are the big sister I always wanted, Kate. You don’t get to thank me for anything. If anything, I’m the one who should be thanking you.”

Kate beams at those words and you know that Alex just made her year. You are Kate’s friend and you have known her for a long while. You know her past and her history and you know that she is still mourning Beth and her mother so having Alex telling her that she is her sister… well, it seems to make your friend the happiest person on Earth.

Kate launches into Alex’s arms again. “I love you, Mama Bear.”

“Love you too, Walnut.”

“I call dibs for being your maid of honor,” Kate says as she releases Alex again.

It’s your turn to roll your eyes, making Kara giggle, much to your relief. “Officially, we are already married, Kate.”

Kate sniffs. “Still,” she rubs under her eyes, erasing the last of the tears from her face. “You deserve a wedding and I demand to be there.”

Alex smiles. “Okay, love,” she tells her squeezing her hand. “If we do a wedding you will be my maid of honor.”

Kate sniffs again. “Pinky promise?”

Alex just shakes her head at how childish she is being. “I promise, I pinky promise.”

XxXxX

Kara is curled in her seat, snoring softly with her head pillowed on Alex’s chest and her feet resting across your legs. Saying goodbye to Kate tired her out and you got the feeling that your kid is going to be sleeping the whole six hours it will take to get to your new city, to your new house.

~ _She is going to be up the whole night_ ,~ Alex says, her hand gently playing with Kara’s hair.

_~Considering we are going to be three hours behind, this is good. She can go to bed around her usual time and it won’t be hard for her to stay awake.~_

Alex nods, arranging Kara’s blanket so it doesn’t just cover her legs but also her torso. ~ _National City is much sunnier than Gotham. Maybe she won’t need naps anymore._ ~

It’s your turn to nod as you start to pat Kara’s sock-clad feet. ~ _I know their beaches are amazing for surfing, so I guess we will spending enough time there.~_

Alex sighs, closing her eyes. ~ _If I have time for surfing I will give my firstborn to the devil_.~

You snort at her melodramatics. ~ _Director Henshaw is going to run you through the ground?_ ~

~ _He said I will be training twelve hours a day, six days a week, for five months… I haven’t set foot in a gym since you and Kara started jogging in the mornings,_ ~ your wife whines.

You pat the hand that Alex has around Kara’s middle. ~ _You will be fine, love. Five months fly by._ ~

~ _I don’t want them to fly by_ ,~ she continues her whining. ~ _I want to close my eyes and open them five months into the future._ ~

You chuckle at her melodrama. ~ _Really?~_

 _~Yes. In fact, I’m inventing a time machine to do just that._ ~

You roll your eyes and see that the steward is coming your way with the little cart filled with drinks and snacks. Something tells you that the DEO really want Alex to be comfy and willing. After all, you’re in first class and the seats are spacious and the privacy is enough you can discuss about sensitive matters. However, as soon as the woman comes closer you gently tap Alex’s hand, indicating her that it is time to switch back to English.

“Hello, ladies,” the woman smiles down to you. “Would you care for something to drink?”

“Scotch?” Alex mumbles miserably from her spot, her eyes still closed and her head turned to you, her face the perfect mask of fake misery.

The flight attendant raises an eyebrow as you roll your eyes at how dramatic your wife is being. It is nine in the morning, is the beginning of a long flight and you know Alex is being just a little drama queen. “Of course,” the steward tells her. “But I will need an ID.”

That makes Alex open her eyes wide, turning to the woman. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I was joking.” She pauses for a second. “… ID? How old do I look?”

The woman smiles. “Eighteen?”

Alex sighs and slumps in her seat. “Really?” The whine is back in her tone. “I’m twenty-four, dammit,” she laments. 

You get to roll your eyes at her again, deciding to turn to the stewardess, who surely has more important things to do than seeing the sorry excuse of a human that you call wife cry over her young looks. Alex is not wearing makeup today and her baggy, thin clothes were chosen for a comfy flight. Kara is dressed similarly, wearing baggy shorts and a long-sleeved shirt two sizes too big and you marvel at how young they both look. Alex does look like a teenager and Kara looks like an oversized toddler.

No wonder the flight attendant asked for an ID.

“Apple juice for our kid and water for us, please,” you tell her.

“Would you like some snack boxes?”

“Yes, please.”

The woman nods, serving you quickly and leaving the drinks and white boxes on your tray. You knew Kara would be sitting on Alex’s lap during most of the flight: the kid is indestructible and can fly, but she is still nervous in big tuna cans –  Alex’s words, not yours – so Alex stole the window seat, leaving you all the way over to the aisle seat… and leaving you to deal with the drinks and snacks, apparently.

“I’ll be back in a bit to take care of your trash,” the stewardess informs you as she rolls her cart away.

“So…” you turn to your still pouting wife. ~ _Kate is going to be your maid of honor?_ ~ you ask her with a smile.

Alex’s eyes are closed, but she smiles at that. ~ _We’re already married_ ,~ she tells you easily showing you her hand with the two rings on her finger.

Your breath catches as it usually does when you see the engagement ring and the plain silver wedding band on her finger. Your bands are simple and practical, just like your engagement rings are, but even so, they are beautiful.

 _~We never had a wedding_ ,~ you point out. ~ _We just got the certificate_. _~_

Alex’s eyes open and she’s suddenly looking at you with curiosity. ~ _Do you want a wedding?_ ~

Is at that moment that you realize you never got to the wedding talk. You got engaged and the next day the DEO handed you the marriage certificate. You were riding the high of being engaged and so you never really talked about the wedding itself. You never got the chance.

 _~Well… when I proposed I was kind of expecting a wedding…_ ~

Alex nods at that. ~ _Me too… I was planning to propose, after all… but do we need it after all?_ ~ She scrunches her nose a little. ~ _I mean, if you want a big wedding we can totally do that, I’m not opposed to it. It just… being married to you is all that matters to me, and I really don’t mind not having a wedding._ ~

You have to smile at that. Of course being married is what matters. But, still, you feel you are missing some kind of a milestone. ~ _Being married to you is all that matter to me too, but… do you want a wedding? I mean, do you have any wedding fantasies you want to bring to life?~_

Alex looks at you with a sad smile. ~ _No_.~

~ _No_?~ This, this perplexes you. Alex is the embodiment of the helpless romantic lesbian trope. She is that kind of girlfriend that randomly comes home from work with a bouquet of flowers, the kind of girlfriend that sees something in a shop’s window and buy it because it reminded her of you, the kind of girlfriend that planned for a nice dinner in for Valentine’s day knowing you forget that date easily… So, having Alex telling you that she never had wedding expectations baffles you.

 _~No_ ,~ she tells you again. ~ _You remember I told you I realized I liked girls instead of boys when I was in high school and met Emma, right?_ ~ She waits for your nod to continue. She lowers her gaze onto Kara and starts playing with her hair again. ~ _What I didn’t tell you that my parents weren’t happy about it._

_~I knew I was wired differently when I started crushing on the soccer team’s captain. She was a senior and I was twelve. Midvale is a conservative place and she was openly gay, so you can imagine how evil she was for the older folks. She noticed I was a baby gay and she took me under her wing right away. She would take me with her to get milkshakes after her practices and she helped me understand myself._

_~When my parents got word of her daughter hanging out with the local dyke, they were furious. Everything Emma taught m became moot when they started yelling at how unnatural she was, how I was better not doing anything with her, how she was corrupting me and the like… she wouldn’t let me kiss her, you know? She was eighteen and she told me over and over again that I was a kid and she was an adult that she didn’t want to put me at risk… She didn’t want to abuse me, she used to say. She always kept me at arms’-length, but she would talk with me for hours, just helping me sort myself out._

_~That summer was the first time I was sent away to study abroad. They didn’t want me to hang out with Emma anymore, so they sent me to England to study chemistry, to put as much distance between her and I while she went to college.~_

_~And that is where you met Rose, right?~_

Alex smirks at you. The ex’s talk happened a while ago and it was surprisingly painless. In fact, sometimes even to date, you find yourselves talking about one ex or another when something happens to remind you of your past conquers. ~ _That’s the summer I had my fist kiss, yes_.~

You smirk back at her. Her summer with Rose is one for the history books. It was filled with pranks, food wars and sneaking out past curfew to experiment in the labs. ~ _It wasn’t too intelligent of your parents to send their lesbian daughter to an all-female nerdy camp,~_ you observe teasingly.

Alex shrugs. _~They were in denial for a long time. They really thought Emma was influencing me and that I was as straight as an arrow… they thought I would see the error of my ways or some stupid stuff like that.~_

You nod. Alex’s told you Eliza and Jeremiah wouldn’t accept their kid was gay until one of their coworkers mentioned something about how open-minded they were to let their kid date another female. If your memory serves you right, it was when Alex started dating Vicky Donahue at pre-med school and this colleague of them saw Alex and Vicky on a date that her parents stopped trying to force men into her life. _~That still doesn’t tell me why you don’t have wedding fantasies.~_

_~One of the things I spoke with Emma the most was the lack of legislation regarding same-sex marriages. She wanted to become a lawyer so she could help on that front and I remember I kept thinking that, even if I could marry someday, my parents wouldn’t be there for the ceremony and it just made me sad. So, I decided I was getting married, just like everybody else, but that without them around I didn’t fancy a large wedding. My partner, friends and whoever she wanted to invite would be fine by me. I realized, then, I didn’t need some elaborate day, I just needed to feel loved.~_

_~… Alex_ …~ There are tears in your wife’s eyes and you regret asking her anything related to her past.

 _~So, Maggie Danvers_ ,~ she tells you with a wide smile that somehow reaches her sadden eyes. ~ _I feel loved. I don’t need anything else. But, what about you? Do you have anything you want us to do?_ ~

You can’t help it, you reach across Kara’s seat and kiss your wife slowly and tenderly. “I do love you,” you whisper against her lips. ~ _With all my heart_.~

Alex kisses you then. _~Good, because I love you too_.~

“Ugh, ~ _gross!~_

You chuckle as you separate from Alex. ~ _Good morning, sunshine_ ,~ you tell your kid in between you.

Kara fidgets so she can properly sit on her seat, instantly going for the cup of apple juice in your tray. ~ _Morning_ ,~ she replies in a mumble.

You shake your head as Alex starts combing Kara’s long hair into place. ~ _Had a nice nap?_ ~ she asks your kid.

“Yes.”

~ _Still sleepy, huh?~_

Kara rubs at her eye with her hand, finishing the juice in no time. ~ _Yes_.~

 _~Want to lie down for a little longer?_ ~ you ask her.

Kara shakes her head. ~ _No_.~ She starts playing with her gemstone, her other hand still rubbing at her eye. ~ _Krypto_?~ she asks.

You smile at that. All the mumbling and one word answers mean that Kara is going to be sleeping again in almost no time. You reach into Kara’s backpack under the front seat and hand her the stuffed dog. ~ _Here, love_.~

 _~Thanks_.~

~ _Come here, Kara_ ,~ Alex opens her arms and your girl wastes no time climbing on Alex’s lap. She embraces her stuffed dog, resting her cheek against Alex’s shoulder and switching to play with Alex’s gemstone. ~ _Close your eyes for a little bit, okay?_ ~

~ _Otay_.~

Kara’s breathing evens out in just a couple of minutes, leaving you to return to your previous conversation.

~ _So_ ,~ Alex turns to you. ~ _Spill_. _What are your wedding fantasies?_ ~

 _~Well… I really don’t have any either,~_ you confess. ~ _I kind of promise my mom I was having a grand wedding after Tony eloped and Mary’s husband refused to spend money on a party… so…~_ you finish with a shrug.

“Oh, shit,” Alex’s eyes grow three times their size. “What are we going to tell Maria?”

Your eyes widen too. With all the things happening over the last week you haven’t called your mom to tell her that you are married or that you are moving to National City. In fact, you didn’t even tell her you were planning on proposing the last time you talk to her over the phone.

Granted, you speak with your mom at least once a week for about an hour at the time… but… this week’s call slipped your mind. It’s not the first time you forget to call, so you know she won’t be worried, but you do need to call her soonish and think what you are going to tell her.

Alex and Kara speak to your mom often enough, too. Heck, Alex calls your mom sometimes when you are not around just to know if her knees are still bothering her! Your mom loves them and she is so happy that you finally settled down that she hasn’t bothered you about marriage for a while…

Now. Well, now you are married and you kind of forgot to tell your mom about it.

“Shit.”

“… ’ar…”

You both look down to see Kara still out, her thumb in her mouth.

“… Not fair,” you tell your wife. “She doesn’t cry jar with you.”

Alex snorts at that. “That’s because I don’t curse like you. My mouth is pretty damn pristine, and my baby knows it.”

Kara stays quiet, both you and Alex waiting to see if she cries ‘jar’ again in her sleep.

“You said damn,” you point out after a minute.

“…”

 “… ’ar…”

“Ha!”

“… Dammit.”

“… ’ar…”

XxXxX

“Remind me again why we brought six suitcases when we could ship everything?”

“Because we don’t trust all our stuff getting here in time,” you remind Alex with a smile.

Your wife nods as you keep waiting for the last two suitcases to emerge from the carousel. Kara woke up cranky and so she is sitting with the rest of your luggage, away from the rustle of people in dire need of coffee and their suitcases, in the hope that she can cool off before her grumpiness gets out of control.

“So… when are we telling Maria?”

You sigh at that. “Can’t that talk wait until we are sure our new home is livable?” Because, really, Alex looks more frantic than what you are feeling regarding telling your mom you are now married.

“I like Maria, Mags… I really don’t want her to hate me because we ‘eloped’.”

You cringe at that. Of course you can’t come out and say that the documents cementing you marriage were provided by a law enforcement department that officially doesn’t exist nor that you got married in such a hurry because Kara’s safety was compromised…

But, well, eloping sound so…

Well, so something you’d totally do, and that is totally something your mom would yell at you for sure.

“She won’t hate you, darling. If anything, she would cuff my ear and yell for a bit.”

“And demand we have that grand wedding after all?”

“And demand we have that grand wedding after all.”

XxXxX

“Out!” Kara yells as she kicks the back of your seat.

“Kara,” Alex scolds her, turning just enough to level a mild glare to your angry kid. “Stop kicking.”

“Out!”

“Kara, calm down. You will hurt Mom if you keep kicking her seat.”

“Out!” she yells again, but she doesn’t kick your seat this time.

You sigh. You know you are in for a long evening at your new house.

Finding your driver was easy once you managed to acquire all your luggage. He’s a tall guy that your gut tells you will be working alongside Alex in the months to come. So, no, finding your ride was easy.

The problem came when the luggage was put away in the SUV and Kara had to ride in the very back of it.

Using a booster seat.

Kara’s crankiness after sleeping for almost five hours in the plane didn’t pass and she’s throwing her first tantrum in National City at being forced to use said booster seat. Apparently, National City takes child’s safety to the extreme and demands kids under 4’9” use a booster seat to travel safely and the agent driving insisted on Kara following the law.

Kara was angry about it, but after making sure she understood she wasn’t going to get her way, she let herself be strapped down.

But, apparently, she’s decided she doesn’t like the booster seat after all.

“Kara,” you turn too to see your kid’s crying angry tears now. “We’ll be there soon and then you will be out of it, okay?”

“No!” she grumbles. “I want out!”

Alex shakes her head, turning to the man – Elliot – in the front. “How long until we get there?” she asks him.

“Another ten more minutes, ma’am.”

“Heard that, Kara?” you say. “Ten minutes and you’re free.”

“No! I want out now, stupid!” she says as she kicks your seat once again.

“Kara Álainn, stop with the attitude,” Alex tells her. “We get it, you are not happy. You can be angry, but you can’t be rude, understood? You need to be sitting there, so you are sitting there. Get angry, yell. But don’t kick and don’t call Mom mean names.”

In answer Kara simply kicks at your seat again.

“Fine,” you tell her. “That means time-out as soon as we get home.”

Kara’s tears are still coming down strong as she crosses her arms and glares out the window. ~ _This is a new house, this is not home_ ,~ she grumbles.

You know this was going to arise sooner or later, and really, you were hoping for sooner, but not as soon as you get to National City.

You and Alex discussed just this the other night. Kara is not fond of changes and she tries her hardest to always keep her routines and her ‘normal’ at all times. She struggled when she stopped going to school, just as she struggled when she started being tutored by Alex’s ducklings. But, back then she was surrounded by sights, smells and people she knew.

Here however, everything is new and she is taking it harder than either of you expected.

You both knew she was having a meltdown at some point, but you didn’t think a booster seat would trigger it so soon.

You exchange a look with Alex and you both decide not to comment to that. You can’t convince Kara this is home now as you two are as equally out of your depths. You can’t make her understand that the change is good when you two are equally nervous about your new jobs and lives.

“Mommy?” Kara asks after a couple of minutes of complete silence.

“Yes, sunshine?”

“I’m sorry I kicked your seat and called you mean names.”

You smile at turn again to see her. She is still frowning and she is still crying silent tears and she is still glaring at the city as it goes by, but she is also absentmindedly playing with Krypto in her lap, pulling at his ear nervously.

“I forgive you, baby. Mama is right. You can be mad, but you can’t be rude.”

She nods and turns to look at you. “I know. I’m sorry.”

You nod back at her. “All is forgiven, love.”

Kara’s eyes fixes on the city again and you turn to Alex who is smiling sadly. You reach across the gap between your seats and take her hand, squeezing it tightly.

Arriving at your new home takes no time after that. The agent parks in front of a tall building and you know you’re not the only one confused. “We’re here,” he announces. “Give me a second and I’ll let you out.”

Alex frowns as he opens the door so you can climb out. What’s with the DEO and car doors that only open from the outside? “Here?” she asks. “Director Henshaw told us we’d get a house?”

Elliot shakes his head. “This is the address I was given. All your things are already unpacked per your preferences.”

You and Alex exchange another look before you climb to the very back of the SUV so you can untie Kara.

“Ready, sunshine,” you tell her as you unclasp the belts around her. Somehow, and this is something that will bother you until you google it, booster seats are childproofed and you need to know _how_ they manage to keep the kids contained. Kara is intelligent and strong and she was really trapped. Your interest is picked. “You are free.”

“Thank you,” she grumbles as she quickly leaves the seat and climbs out the van to stand next to Alex, you are following shortly behind.

Alex’s hand hovers over Kara’s shoulder as soon as she is near her. “Are you okay, baby?”

Kara eyes the hand and steps aside just enough to make clear she doesn’t want to be touched right now, cleaning the tear tracks on her cheeks with the sleeves of her t-shirt. “Yes,” she says sulkily.

Alex nods as she turns to Elliot, her hand falling to rest on her hip. “Show us inside,” she tells him when he has all the suitcases gathered by you.

The agent calls for the doorman and they grab most of your luggage between the two, leaving you to carry the last one. “This way, please.”

You follow them inside the building and you notice right away that it’s one of those buildings that mix living space with offices. You’re downtown, so you guess this kind of building was expected, although Alex and you thought you were going to be given a house in the suburbs or something like that… you are all used to live in apartments, so it won’t be that much of a hassle, but still, a house had sounded good.

Elliot directs you to one of the several elevator doors and you see that the door in this one is slightly different from the others. He calls for the elevator and you see how the people in the lobby look at you oddly. So yes, maybe it’s weird to have a man in all black, a doorman and three baggy women in the same place… but really, why the looks?

“Could you please watch the suitcases for a little bit?” Elliot asks the doorman and you’re about to ask why when the door opens and you see that this is a smallish elevator that won’t fit your luggage and yourselves at the same time.

The doorman nods as you climb inside, Kara going to the very far side of it to keep sulking in silence. Once the door has closed again, Elliot procures a handful of keys and hands them to Alex. “These are the house keys. We took the liberty of making five copies of it, so you can share as you please.” He then nods at the pad in the box, where you see there are only three buttons, one that reads PH, one that reads LB and other that reads B2. Elliot presses the first one. “This elevator is exclusive for you, or rather, it goes directly to your floor. Two penthouses share the last three floors and privacy is complete. So is security. The elevator takes you to your floor, the lobby and the basement, where three parking spots are reserved for your use. A DEO standard SUV and a black sedan are waiting for you there, as requested.”

“We never asked for vehicles,” you point out.

Elliot shrugs. “The SUV is assigned to all agents and our orders were to assign you with a sedan too.”

Alex and you share another glance and you simply shake your head. You are a proud woman, but really, you are not going to get fussy if your wife’s job landed you a car and a penthouse… really, Alex has always been the wealthy one in the relationship and you’ve never had an issue with that. That means you don’t have to fret about money _and_ you get to spoil Kara as much as you want.

“Okay, then,” Alex says, turning to the agent again. “Did you mention something about two penthouses?”

“Yes, the building is fairly new and it’s mostly empty as of right now, but we are expecting the other tenant moving in soon. Most offices are already occupied, but the living areas are still being sold.”

“And under whose name is ours?”

“Under Margaret Danvers, as you requested.”

Alex nods happily at that as you roll your eyes. Somehow, Alex wanted everything to be in your name based on the belief that maybe the DEO was not as good as it looked like. Somehow, Alex thought that keeping everything under your name gave you and Kara another layer of defense if things go south… you don’t really think having your name scrawled across the title of the property would make much difference if the DEO decides to be difficult, though.

The elevator door opens and you are led to a wide, but short hallway. On the wall directly in front the elevator sits a huge window letting light in and it allows you to see the city below. On either side of the hallway two double doors are placed and Elliot motions to the one on the left, marked with a PH1 in brass letters. “I’ll leave you to investigate while I go back down for the suitcases. All your furniture is unpacked, but if you need any changes, I’ll be pleased to help you.”

“Thanks, Elliot.”

He nods to Alex and steps inside the elevator again, riding the thirty-something floors down.

“Shall we?” you ask your ladies, taking the keys from Alex’s hands and marching towards your new home.

“We shall!,” Alex answers you as she offers Kara her hand. Your kid is hugging Krypto to her chest but takes her Mama’s hand without prompting after a brief moment of hesitation.

Let’s see what your new home is all about.

XxXxX

Settling in your new house is strange, to say the least, but easy. The penthouse is big, big enough to be considered a townhouse at the top of a tall building with five bedrooms, a studio and a TV room that Kara stole as soon as she unpacked all her toys and books.

The master bedroom is at the back of the third floor and it’s the only room there, sharing most of the floor space with the roof garden and giving you and Alex much more privacy than your previous place. Kara’s room is a floor below, sharing the space with the TV room and two of the other bedrooms. While Kara’s room is the biggest in her floor, with private bathroom and a balcony wide enough to lounge at her heart’s content, she still complained that she thought she was going to get a whole floor for herself.

You’re not too sure she was joking or not.

The main floor houses the last bedroom, the studio and the open living room/dining room and kitchen combo. You are sure Director Henshaw had a say in what things were chosen to replace the ones you left behind if the two huge refrigerators in your kitchen are any indication.

The studio was commandeered by Alex and all her research and you took possession of the last bedroom, the one on the main floor. You know exactly what you’re doing with it, you just need to acquire the heavy bag, the treadmill and the weight station to make yourself a small gym.

Unpacking the boxes and suitcases took you nearly two days of constant work. Kara’s mood didn’t improve in those days and you and Alex found yourselves putting the kid in time out more than once. Kara’s moodiness was easily explained, but after breaking a mug when asked to help put them away, Alex’s patience was starting to wear thin.

 _~Go to your room to read_ ,~ Alex says, as she rubs her temple, after Kara refused to help with the last of the boxes, which are kitchen appliances and the odd cookbook.

 _~Why?~_ Kara whines.

 _~You’re not helping, baby, and, frankly, after two days of tantrums, I rather you go read in your room while we finish_.~

Kara huffs and storms to her floor.

 _~Read in your bedroom, Kara!~_ Alex yells at her. ~ _No TV!_ ~

She doesn’t get a response, but you hear a door slamming close and you at least know she didn’t go into the door less TV room.

 _~You thought she was going to react this poorly to the move?_ ~ you ask Alex as you keep washing dishes. You may not be the cleanest person in the world, but after hauling your plates and silverware across the country, you know you need to wash them before putting them away. You grew without using the dishwasher and so washing by hand it’s for your peace of mind… you really don’t trust a dishwasher can wash as good as your hands.

~ _No,_ ~ Alex tells you, placing the cookbooks in one of the cabinets. ~ _We know she doesn’t like change, but well, this is extreme, even for her_.~

_~… has she always this wary of change?~_

~ _Sort of. When she was a baby she was easily convinced to try to do new things, but when she was around five she started getting really picky with her food and even the littlest thing would set her off._ ~

_~What happened when she was five?~_

_~… I went back to school… or rather, my parents forced me to go back to school. I was given the choice of being sent away or Kara being sent to a boarding school.~_

You raise an eyebrow at that. ~ _She was five.~_

Alex shrugs, getting ready to open the very last box. ~ _Don’t ask. I didn’t ask at the time. I just didn’t want to risk it, so I enrolled in JCU to finish my pre-med. It was close enough to our home so I could drive back there every weekend to see Kara. They told me to go to a better school after that and so from there I jumped to Seattle for the medical degree, the closest they allowed me to be. When I decided enough was enough, I enrolled at Gateway’s University to get that alien Ph.D.~_

 _~Why not Gotham from the very beginning?~_ You really need to ask. You know Alex was doing her first round of pre-med at Oxford, but you don’t get why she didn’t go to the best school when it comes to alien studies since the beginning of her second round of education.

_~It was too far away from Kara, that’s why.~_

You nod at that. Makes perfect sense, really.

_~So, she’s overreacting?~_

_~Oh, no, she’s not._ ~ Alex opens the box and scrunches her nose. ~ _Who packed a box of Cheez-It bags?_ ~

You snort. You three spent the last week packing all your things and, ~ _do you really need to ask?~_

Alex sighs and works on getting Kara’s snacks hidden. ~ _And to answer your question, no, I_ _don’t think she’s overreacting, love. I think something is really bothering her, but I don’t know what, and I think she doesn’t either. She hasn’t been this fussy since she was in grade school.~_

 _~One thing is sure, though, she is being way more guarded lately.~_ Kara has been crawling in bed with you, but she is also trying her hardest not to be touched by you or Alex at any time, forgoing her cuddles and lying the farthest away from you. Kara’s usually more reserved with people she doesn’t know and she is treating you two as if you were strangers, not letting you hug her or cuddle her.

Kara is like an oversize toddler when it comes to her affection. She likes to be carried around and she demands hugs and kisses constantly, but right now, she is being distant and fidgety and way too anxious.

She is also so angry.

Alex finishes putting the snacks away and looks at you, who are mostly done. She quickly disassembles the box and goes to put it with the rest to be taken out tomorrow. ~ _I’m going to check on her, see if she’s calmed down.~_

_~Want me to come with you?~_

She shakes her head. ~ _No need. I’m bringing her here to talk, the three of us… if she’s calmed enough_.~

You nod, that sounds like a plan. ~ _Okay, I’ll watch some TV. I googled nearby restaurants and we have a Noonan’s not too far from here. Maybe we can go have dinner there.~_

_~That’s a good idea. Let’s see if Kara’s up for being around people first, though.~_

You watch as your wife climbs the stairs two at a time and you smile at how at ease she looks. The house is grand, but cozy and you can actually see yourself living out a long life here.

You hope your job, which you start in a week, will be as easy to fall into as your new house.

XxXxX

Alex takes a long while to come down again and you use that time to peel some oranges and apples for Kara, who, in her fussy state, refused to have lunch earlier today. You notice that at least Kara is with her, clinging to her Mama like a baby koala, hugging her with both arms and legs. You can also hear she is sniffling and you wonder exactly what went down between those two.

Alex comes to you, sitting on the couch next to you as you turn off the TV and arranging Kara so you both can see her face. ~ _Kara here wants to tell us something_ ,~ she explains as lieu of getting things started.

Kara sniffs and she starts playing with her gemstone, looking down the whole time. “I’m sorry.”

You reach to her and wait until Kara nods to touch her knee. “Okay, baby. What are you sorry for?” She already said sorry for the mug after her time out and you get the feeling Alex didn’t scold her for her stubbornness, knowing she was angry and moody, but trying not to be _that_ defiant.

Kara fidgets on Alex’s lap and your wife puts a calming hand on the kid’s back. ~ _Tell her what you told me, Kara_ ,~ she orders her gently.

Baby-blue eyes rise to meet yours and you are taken aback by the pain and regret showed in them. Kara sniffs again as she launches at you, hugging you fiercely as she starts crying again. “I-I’m sorry we had to m-move because of me.”

You look up to see Alex’s sad eyes reflecting the pain you are feeling at hearing those words. “No, baby, no,” you tell her as you gather her in your arms. “My little sunshine, no. It’s not your fault. Never your fault.”

~ _M-Mama said the same t-thing._ ~

“And Mama is right, sunshine,” you tell her, rocking her slightly. ~ _It’s not your fault. Mama and I decided this was the best for us_.~

 _~B-But_ -~

~ _Mom’s right, baby._ ~ Alex comes and hugs you both. ~ _We decided this was the best for us. I’m sorry you are not happy, love, but it really is the best for us right now.~_

_~But – But the mean man was taking me away a-and we moved here so I-I could stay with you. It’s my fault.~_

_~Kara, no_.~ Alex turns her so that she can look into Kara’s eyes. ~ _What is the only thing I have always told you it’s the most important?_ ~

Kara looks at Alex’s earnest eyes as she shrugs.

“Come on, baby, think. What’s the only thing I’ve always told you it’s the most important?”

“… that I’m safe.”

“Exactly.” Alex kisses Kara’s forehead. “The most important thing is that you are safe. Nothing else matters. Nothing else.”

“If we are here now Kara,” you continue, “it’s because you saved me form that druggie. You, Kara Álainn Danvers-Sawyer are a true hero and we are so damn proud of you.”

“This move is not a punishment, Kara,” Alex tells her softly. “This is a decision Mom and I made in the hopes that we can have a better life. That _you_ can have a better life.”

Kara rubs at her eye. “But Mommy was going to work at Gotham Police Department, help the aliens there… and Mama, you were going to be a doctor doctor, finally.”

Alex smiles down at her, leaving another kiss to her forehead. “Baby, I don’t care where I finished my studies… the DEO will make sure I get my Ph.D. while I work for them, you don’t need to worry about that.”

You turn the girl so she can look at you and at the determination that shows in your face. “Do you know why we moved to National City and not, say, Central City?” You wait for her to shake her head before you continue. “That’s because National City is one of the cities with the highest alien population, baby. The Science Division Department here is huge compared to the one in Gotham. If anything, moving here will help me more than if we stayed at Gotham.”

“That’s true,” Alex says, combing Kara’s hair and making the girl relax even more. “It’ll be beneficial for me too, you know? Not only do I have the chance to work in what I want, Kara. I can do all the research I want and I don’t get to be monitored as I would be if I worked for STAR Labs like I had planned. And, the cherry on the cake? Hank, Director Henshaw said they are planning on opening a clinic. I get to actually help aliens like you with their health issues, something I had always wanted to do. Do you know how cool is that?”

You snort at how excited your wife is getting and you’re glad to see that Kara’s giggling at her Mama’s beaming face.

“We’re sorry we didn’t ask for your opinion, baby,” you tell Kara honestly. “But this decision had to made quickly and without taking into account any feelings… we also didn’t want you to feel like this is your fault, sunshine. It’s not.”

“Exactly, baby. Mom and I decided this and we stand in that this is a really good chance for us to grow as a family.”

“… And your wedding?” Kara asks in a tiny voice. “Weren’t you planning a grand wedding?”

You have to wince at that, making Kara’s brow crinkle and Alex sigh. “The marriage was unexpected, yes,” you tell her. “But we’re not unhappy about it. We didn’t really want a big wedding in the first place.”

“Then, why are you wincing?”

“That’s because my mom doesn’t know about the marriage yet and your Mama and I are cowards and we don’t really want her to know that she didn’t get to see me in a white dress.”

“Huh?”

Alex laughs softly at that. “Don’t worry your pretty little head over it, baby. Mom and I are working on telling Maria and, when we do. Everything will be okay.”

“Mommy? Mama?”

“Yes, baby?”

“I love you.”

“We love you too, Kara. So much.”

XxXxX

~ _Remember baby, we will be meeting your tutor tomorrow morning_.~

Kara’s brow crinkles at that. She is eating yogurt and apples, her face a little sweaty after your morning jog. She will be showering in a little bit, today’s workout made her especially hungry to shower before breakfast.

You hear a thumping noise that makes Kara wince a little and you sigh. The DEO said the lead lining would have been ready for when you arrived to your new house, so far only Kara’s room and her bathroom were done in time. The rest of the penthouse, however, would be worked with, in the months to come… according to them.

Apparently, not even the mighty DEO could prepare the whole place in under a week and now you get to hear your lovely neighbors moving in, as you have been doing for three days now. Whoever is moving into the penthouse next door surely has several big pieces of furniture, or so the hammering, grunting and cursing that you have been hearing lets you believe.

Kara’s grimace disappears after a second and you see her looking at where the noise came from, gently rubbing her left eye. Alex says Kara is slowly developing her powers and at the moment it seems that her heat vision and her x-ray vision are starting to show up… she also said that you need to prepare for that, whatever it means. In the meantime, you and Kara started your jogging again as soon as the unpacking was done and that, coupled with the evenings studying with Alex, are what you think has helped the most to make her comfortable in your new home. She is still moody at times with her things not being where they usually were, but the abundant sun that bathes her room helps to calm her down quickly when she’s sent upstairs to cool off with a book.

 _~Do I need a tutor?~_ she asks.

_~Yes, Kara. You said you are not ready to go back to school and even if you wanted to, it’s too late into the term to get you enrolled in any school and you need someone to teach you school stuff while Mama and I go to work.~_

_~Can’t I tag along_?~

~ _Not this time, baby,~_ you tell her as you finish your bagel. Today is the last day you three have off and you plan to stay in, watching movies and relaxing.

Rao only knows when it’ll be the next time you will get a lazy Sunday.

Alex starts training in a week and you need to present to your precinct tomorrow morning to gather your badge and to be introduced into the life of a true police officer. You’re just too glad having graduated from Gotham Academy allows you to skip most of the level entry jobs, you won’t get to patrol the streets as a rookie in training, but rather, as a somewhat seasoned officer.

You just hope the partner you’re assigned with is nice and at least not a complete asshole.

Kara pouts at that. ~ _Okay_ ,~ she says miserably. ~ _What’s their name again_?~

Alex smiles at the adorableness that is Kara’s puppy dog face. ~ _All I know is that her last name is Prince. Hank recommends her, says she worked with the Justice League and that she’s good with kids and she’s like super smart and her credentials are amazing_.~

You scrunch your nose at that. “Is that wise? Letting a stranger near her?” This is not the first time you ask her, and like always, Alex doesn’t take offense in your wariness.

Alex smiles at you and tells you again, ~ _I trust Hank and I’ll be around the first week, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem. But, just to be sure, we’re meeting her at NC Library and we’ll see if Kara likes her_.~ Alex turns to Kara next. ~ _If you don’t like her, Kara, you need to let me know, understood? And I mean it, like, really don’t like her. You can’t just say that to avoid having a tutor. If she’s too strict or too serious, but I think she’s good enough, you will deal_.~

Your kid huffs but agrees. “Yes, Mama.”

“Watch the attitude, young lady.”

“I don’t want a new tutor!” Kara whines then. “I want Devon and Mark and Claire and Stefan and Lola and Sam.”

Alex sighs and goes to Kara, sitting on the bar stool next to her and taking her hands in hers. ~ _I know you miss them, sunshine. I get it, but they have their lives in Gotham and they are all working really hard to become their best in their fields. We said ‘see you later’, baby, not ‘goodbye’. I’m sure we will see them someday soon when we go visit Auntie Kate and Auntie Renee. But, in the meantime, we have to start living our lives here. That means a new tutor, baby_.~ Alex pauses for a second, seeing the tears that start gathering in Kara’s eyes. ~ _Remember when you first started working with my interns?_ ~ she asks.

Kara sniffs and nods. ~ _Yeah. Devon was really loud and Claire hit him ‘cause he was scaring me_.~

~ _And now, do you think Devon’s bad?~_

_~No. He’s loud but funny. He gave me sweets.~_

Alex snorts at that and you can help chuckle too. Of course, Devon is the favorite duckling, he gave sweets to Kara. In truth, all of them might have sugar up the kid at some or other point… Kara got used to them quickly.

“And maybe Miss Prince won’t be that bad either. I promise, baby that if you are really uncomfortable with her we will look somewhere else, okay?”

Kara nods as she climbs onto Alex lap, nuzzling her shirt lightly. “Yes, Mama.”

You smile at the sight and how at ease Kara looks now that her anxiety and fear has been addressed and talked about. However, you can’t help but mull the tutor’s name over and over in your head. At first, when Alex told you who Director Henshaw had recommended the name Prince rattled your memory and it made you awfully suspicious.

There’s been another Prince in your lives, a Prince that once was Kara’s teacher, all the way back to when she was taken out of school. You checked the number she left in that card and you found out that Diana Prince was a substitute teacher in her forties with years of service under her belt.

The Prince Director Henshaw recommended, though, like Alex said, is another matter altogether and, if you are honest, the only reason you are wary of her is that you can’t actually look her up in the database or ask a friend to find you all her information. For one thing, you don’t have her information other than her name and then, you don’t have any friends in this city to help you out at the moment.

You really need to get to work and start building a reputation in this city.

You also need to buy coffee.

Lots of coffee.

XxXxX

The first thing you notice is the light pressure against your eyelids, your nose, your cheeks, your jaw, your temple.

You smile.

“It’s not even dawn,” you rasp out as the kisses, feather light, keep raining on your face. “Why are you up?”

“Good morning,” Alex whispers against your ear, biting softly on your earlobe. “Kara didn’t crawl into bed with us.”

You hum in appreciation, trying to dislodge your brain from its sleepy state to truly savor what Alex is doing. “Yeah. No Kara.”

“It’s your first day in the force, but I haven’t got the chance to let you know how proud you make me. I haven’t got the chance to show you what seeing you in uniform did to me when you modeled for us last night. I haven’t got the chance to make sure you can’t walk properly when you do your rounds downtown. I haven’t got the chance to let you know exactly how much I love you.”

You gulp. The first time Alex whispered like this in your ear you became a hot mess of arousal in under five seconds. It surprised you then how just a few words from Alex can wire you up, it still surprises you, if you’re completely honest with yourself.

Having Alex’s warm breath brushing against your ear and her husky voice echoing in your brain wakes up your body in a way no lover had ever managed. That Alex knows what dirty-talking does to you, and that she makes use of it often, it’s just one more thing why you’re so in love with this woman.

“Kara…” you try to protest.

Suddenly you hear a muffled thud and you know that your new neighbor is at it again. The noises have been going all day and night at irregular intervals and you are just glad they are muffled enough that you managed to sleep the night away. You are also really grateful that Kara’s room got indeed lined with lead: she could and would, be awoken with those sounds.

Uh. Maybe that’s why she decided not to climb in bed with you this time.

“Shhh,” Alex bites every so softly at your jaw. “I went check on her before starting this. She’s out cold.”

“H-How long?” you squeak as you feel hands start roaming your inner thigh.

“An hour. Two if you forgo your morning jog,” she says in that same husk that makes heat pool in your belly.

“But, Kara…”

“Didn’t go to sleep until eleven,” she starts peppering kisses down your neck onto your cleavage, one hand at your thigh, the other tugging your t-shirt up. “She needs to sleep a little bit more.”

You snort at that. Yes, Kara went to bed too late last night, too nervous about what this day represents for her, but really, Alex simply wants in your pants.

You grin.

There’s no reason you shouldn’t let her get away with it.

You are going to start letting your hands roam all over Alex’s back when something makes you pause. Your new neighbors are still thumping, but there is another sound there, a sound that doesn’t belong.

“Did Kara just call for you?” you ask Alex. You are about to sit up when Alex’s hand comes to rest on your shoulder, pushing you down gently.

“Easy there,” she smiles. “I really checked on her. She was out like a light, Mags, she isn’t waking anytime soon.”

You look up at Alex, an eyebrow raised. “You know you can’t hear her if she actually called.”

Alex rolls her eyes. “She was snoring, babe. She is fine. She is asleep.”

You wonder, for a brief moment, if Alex’s idea of setting up Kara’s old baby monitor in her room was a good one. Alex said that when they moved to Gotham she used the baby monitor to make sure Kara’s nightmares wouldn’t get out of hand, but that she also got rid of that measure when Kara started feeling more at ease in her new bedroom. Alex knows that Kara does not sleep well in strange environments when she is on her own and so she was ready to use the baby monitor again until you shot down that idea.

It makes you uncomfortable listening to Kara and violating her privacy in any way. Kara’s room is her sanctuary and it’s the place where your daughter should feel free to do whatever she needs or wants. The baby monitor idea, then, was vetoed to the point that Alex simply agreed.

Besides, if Kara wants anything, she has the maturity and familiarity to go into your room at night with whatever problem she’s facing at the moment. She’s done so before, be it a scare or a nightmare. She can do it again.

So, you still Alex’s roaming hands with yours, waiting to see if Kara’s really up and coming into your room or you imagined things.

When a couple of minutes have passed and no Kara appears on your bedroom door, you smile up at Alex and guide her to straddle you, finally letting your hands roam all over her body.

As she said… this really is your first day and you need all the energy you can muster to make it the best first day ever.

And some Alex energy is always welcomed.

XxXxX

“She hasn’t come down yet?”

You pause serving your coffee to look at the bottom of the stairs where Alex stopped, drying her hair with a towel and no doubt getting frustrated with it as she always does. She swears she’s cutting it soon, but she’s been swearing that ever since you met her and she hasn’t grown the nerve to actually do it.

You used to wonder why she doesn’t use a hair dryer, but then she explained to you that the noise has always spooked Kara. Now, you’ve also ditched the hair dryer and you have to admit your hair thanks you for it.

“Come make us breakfast, woman,” you order her lightly. “I’ll go get us a little sunshine.”

Alex snort at the obviously fake southern accent you tried to do as she goes into the kitchen. “You’re a dork,” she tells you, stealing your mug and going to the pantry to, you’re almost certain, retrieve the honey.

“I’m your dork,” you tell her easily, grabbing an empty mug and serving yourself some java.

“That you are,” she agrees, stirring the honey into her coffee. You can’t really understand how she drinks it like that. ~ _Go wake Kara. I’ll start with some eggs and bacon.~_

“Yum,” you can’t help but add as you take your cup and head for the stairs.

Kara’s room is the last in the corridor, bypassing the guest bathroom and the two guestrooms, and next to the open TV room. You shake your head at the mess your kid has already done to that room, not only are several books sprawled all over, but also her toys are out and you can barely see the carpet on the floor. You will have Kara cleaning that up before bed tonight if she doesn’t get frustrated with having her things out of order by then and starts cleaning on her own.

 _~Hey, sunshine_ ,~ you call to her as you open the door. It can go two ways now, Kara wakes up from your voice or she remains asleep and then you have to go pry her from her dreams.

You really hope is the former, waking Kara up when she is not ready is never a good way to start the day.

 _~Sunshine_?” you ask again, not hearing any response from your daughter.

You sigh when Kara doesn’t stir, the lump under the covers not moving. The late night she had is probably going to make her cranky for the rest of the day… not a good omen, especially today that she is meeting with her tutor.

You hope Alex makes this first meeting short and have Kara home early. Your girl is going to need a nap and some quiet time today.

You sit on the edge of the bed, sipping your coffee. ~ _Kara, baby, you need to wake up now._ ~

Nothing happens and you frown.

Mug still in hand, you reach to gently shake the girl awake, placing your hand over where you know Kara’s back should be.

Only to feel the blanket yield under your touch.

Only to feel nothing under the covers.

Nothing.

Panic rise in your chest and you aren’t aware when you let the mug drop, you only feel the how the scalding liquid starts soaking your socks.

You are standing up in an instant, yanking the covers in the next.

The bed is empty.

You look around bewildered, and noticed that Krypto is lying there, lying still on the ground near the bathroom door.

Krypto is sacred, why did Kara went to the bathroom and left him on the ground?

You go into the bathroom in a flash.

Maybe Kara realized the time and in her nervousness of meeting her new tutor and is showering, forgetting all about Krypto, but you know Krypto doesn’t touch the ground and when he does he needs to be washed before Kara allows him to her bed again, and Kara hates when Alex bathes Krypto.

Maybe Kara is angry you didn’t go jogging today and she is ignoring you, making a point with Krypto on the floor, a way to tell you she is mad and she is not going to behave today.

The bathroom is as empty as the bed and the panic in your chest only amplifies.

Returning to the room you look around.

There’s nothing, nothing different from what you remember seeing last night when you finally manage to make Kara sleep.

The book Alex’s reading her is still on the nightstand. The socks Kara that always takes off before succumbing to sleep are still at the end of the bed. Her backpack and snap back are still resting on her desk chair, ready for the day ahead.

Nothing has changed in the night.

But, there is no Kara.

Just Krypto lying on the ground.

“Kara?” you call, knowing the girl will hear you from anywhere in the place.

Silence.

“Kara?” you call again.

Nothing happens and you rush out the room.

“Kara? Come on, sweet heart, where are you hiding?”

You go to check all the rooms in the floor, still calling her name. “Kara? Love, this isn’t funny! Did Auntie Kate told you to play a prank on us? Kara, honey where are you?”

The rooms prove to be empty.

As does your own bedroom.

And the roof garden.

“Maggie?” you hear Alex call you.

You know this is bad. You know Krypto wouldn’t be on the floor if this wasn’t.

You go to the rail that sees into the main floor, looking down at Alex and noticing that Kara is not in the living room or the dining room.

You know Kara is not in the kitchen.

“Babe, is Kara downstairs?”

Alex’s eyes widen as she runs to the back rooms, calling for your kid.

You climb down the stairs two at a time and check the keys that rest on your fish bowl.

All five sets are still in there and the latch is done.

The alarms system is still activated.

No one has gotten in or out during the night.

You hear footsteps coming from behind and you turn, hope in your heart, only to feel even more distressed.

Alex is alone and she shakes her head at you, worry and fear evident in her eyes.

No Kara is following her.

There is no Kara hugging at her middle, all grins for the scare she put you through.

There is no Kara.

Just Krypto laying on the ground.

No Kara.

Just Krypto.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @reinakonanofate asked to pass along some thoughts:
> 
>  
> 
> _*Imitating Alfred Hitchcock*_  
>  Good evening. 
> 
>  
> 
> _It's that time of year again, people. Angst._
> 
>  
> 
> _*Evil laughter*_
> 
>  
> 
> _Just kidding, I love them as a family, #Sanvers and little Kara are so cute, Kate saying goodbye to them broke my heart_  
>  *sniff* and Kara's reason for her bratty behavior also broke me. 
> 
>  
> 
> _And having allergies is not fun at all, I'm tired of sneezing so much. *sneeze.*_
> 
>  
> 
> _Well, what do you think happened to Kara? Do you think that Kara left on her own and went back to Gotham?_
> 
>  
> 
> _Did the DEO double crossed them and took Kara to God knows where?_
> 
>  
> 
> _Did CADMUS took Kara?_
> 
>  
> 
> _Did Kal-El took Kara?_
> 
>  
> 
> _Did one of villains of the week took her?_
> 
>  
> 
> _Find out in the next chapter of Kismet! Ummm, next time._  
>  Don't know when.
> 
>  
> 
> _Again, I'm just kidding chapter 20 is already being edited and chapter 21 is in the works._
> 
>  
> 
> _Once again forgive me if there are any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes._
> 
>  
> 
> Isn't she the sweetest? Giving away all my evil plans?
> 
> Oh, well. 
> 
> I was asked to post the headcast for this lovely story and so here it is:
> 
> As we know and love (and cause we can't never get enough pictures of them) [side note, do any of you know how to use photoshop to help us with some minor changes here?]:
> 
> Alexandra Caroline Sawyer:  
>  _Chyler Leigh_
> 
> Margaret Ellen Danvers:  
>  _Floriana Lima_
> 
> Kara Álainn Danvers-Sawyer:  
>  _Malina Weissman (for now)_
> 
> Renee Montoya:  
>  _Blanca Soto_
> 
> Katherine Rebecca Kane:  
>  _Elena Satine_
> 
>  **[Here](http://charis-chan.tumblr.com/post/159816733094/headcast-for-kismet-a-supergirl-fanfiction)** , you can see their pictures as we imagine them.
> 
> Also, remember this story is part of a series, so go check that out!!!
> 
> See ya next time :D


	20. Vanished

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She is gone.
> 
> She vanished into thin air.
> 
> They found nothing.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where we all cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING!!:** Before reading this chapter is advised to drink lots of water. Like, really huge quantities of water. Also, is advised to read it in a secluded place, far away from prying eyes.
> 
>  **TRIGGER WARNING!!!:** There are no triggers in this chapter, but I wanted to make sure you guys knew that so you can read ahead without that kind of worries.
> 
> * * *
> 
> I really don't have much to say this time, other than all the love to @reinakonanofate and her devotion to this story. I thought she'd hate me after editing this one chapter, but surprisingly, she's still around, and for that, she's amazing.
> 
> Go bother her in tumblr or come yell at me at @charis-chan.

She is gone.

She vanished into thin air.

They found nothing.

Or rather, they found whatever Maggie found when she initially searched for Kara:

No signs of a struggle. Nothing out-of-place. No signs of forced entry. No blood. No fingertips. No hairs. Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

Kara disappeared in the early hours of the morning.

She disappeared during the two hours you were making love with Maggie, just a floor above your little angel. Dammit, you checked on her just a few minutes before you started with Maggie. She was asleep, her left thumb in her mouth and Krypto clutched tightly to her chest.

She was snoring softly, the telltale that she would sleep soundly for at least another hour.

She was still, but so, so at ease.

She was there.

She was in her bed.

She was there.

How can she be gone?

XxXxX

“It is really a shame we get to meet like this, officer.”

Maggie nods somberly at the woman in a suit. You are sitting in the middle of your couch, Maggie at your side and this woman, Detective Lars, is sitting in front of you, in the robust coffee table, taking your statements.

And making you awfully nervous.

“Okay, please, could you state your names for the record?” She eyes your interlaced hands, no doubt noticing the rings in your finger. “Maiden names too, please.”

“Margaret Ellen Danvers, née Sawyer,” Maggie tells her. “And Alexandra Caroline Sawyer, née Danvers.”

Lars looks at you with a cocked eyebrow, no doubt unimpressed you haven’t said a word in her presence. In the background, you can see her partner, a short, burly man, Detective Bauman, smile.

Maggie glares at them and neither comment.

“Okay,” Lars says, taking note. “And the girl’s name is Kara, right?”

You nod, again, letting Maggie handle the interview.

“Yes,” your wife says. “Kara Álainn Danvers-Sawyer.”

Lars takes note again. “We received the call at approximately ten thirty in the morning, but you say you noticed Kara disappeared around seven… why didn’t you call as soon as you saw she was missing?”

You tense at that internally. You can’t really tell them the DEO ordered you not to call the police until now. They wanted to run a series of scans before the police came to take a look.

They found nothing out-of-order in their readings.

The police found nothing. Period.

“We wanted to wait and see if Kara came back on her own… the move has been difficult on her and we harbored the hope she went out and planned on coming back before we woke up.”

The lie tastes bitter in your mouth, even when Maggie’s the one talking. You weren’t waiting on Kara, Rao’s know she won’t ever go out alone in a strange city, but rather waiting for the okay from the DEO to inform the police. If Maggie wasn’t in the force you are certain you’d never contacted the police, you don’t need them in your business, in Kara’s business, but Maggie works there and she needs to be able to help look and the only way to achieve that was involving the police.

You don’t trust the police to help. This smells CADMUS and only the DEO can help you at the moment.

“Really, Officer?” Lars smells the lie from a mile away. “You trained at Gotham… you know our protocols better than most rookies.”

Maggie eyes her, carefully. Hank gave you the okay to tell the police the FBI was involved in the case if the need arose, but you and Maggie decided that would complicate things further… that it will irk the police…that it wasn’t in your best interests…

… This is such a mess and the only thing you want to do is have your daughter in your arms and never let her go.

Why do you have to lie so damn much?

Why can’t they help you look for your kid without them doubting you?

Why, why, was Kara taken?

Wasn’t CADMUS officially out of your lives?

So many questions and not one damn answer!

You squeeze Maggie’s hand with force, making your wife look at you sharply. You nod once and Maggie looks back at you, resigned, before turning back to Lars.

“We didn’t call as soon as we noticed because the FBI was here before you.”

Lars’s eyebrows shoot up. “And please do tell us why is the FBI interested in this case?”

“I consult with them,” you finally open your mouth. “My work is… delicate.”

Lars frowns at that and even Bauman can’t help but come closer as he reads over his notes. “It says here, you worked at Gotham University and that you currently work for DEUS labs? Is that information correct?”

You wince internally at the stupid name the DEO gave to one of their civil fronts. “Yes. I was offered a good deal here and so we,” you motion to Maggie and yourself, “decided to move to National City.”

“… And why do you think the FBI would help?”

“Alex is a person of interest,” Maggie informs them. “Her work is well known in some circles and not all of them are happy with her work.”

“You think one of these… circles… have an interest in your daughter?” Lars rejoins the conversation.

“We don’t know,” you confess. “We have no idea. The only thing we know is that Kara is missing and that she didn’t go on her own free will.”

Lars nods, flipping a page in her notebook. “And you know that because…?”

“She left her stuffed toy on the ground,” Maggie sighs out, running her free hand through her hair. “Whenever it touches the ground she goes into near hysterics… that darn toy is sacred for her.”

“Krypto, the toy, being on the ground is what made us panic and call the FBI.”

Lars’s eyebrow is raised again at that statement and she might have seen something in the desperation in your eyes that she doesn’t doubt you… much. “Okay,” she says finally, “you’re the parents… you know your own kid.”

You breathe easier hearing those words leaving her mouth. She doesn’t openly question you and that makes things easier, doesn’t it?

Does it?

“If the FBI is taking this case I don’t know how much help we can be,” Bauman says popping your hope bubble.

“The FBI hasn’t claimed anything yet,” Maggie points out. “For all we know, they won’t take the case.”

Lars snorts at that, shutting her notebook closed. “Stop lying to us,” she says evenly as she raises. “You and I both know that by them coming around they are claiming the case.”

Maggie suddenly tense beside you. “You won’t help?” she asks in a thinly controlled voice.

You can feel ice spreading through your veins.

“We can’t,” Bauman says. “You made the report, you followed the book… it’s our turn to do the same.”

Lars sighs. “Look, we get it. This is your kid and you want all your bases covered… But you know that the FBI has a better chance at getting her than we do. They have more resources and you can’t tell us everything regarding this case. As Bauman here says, you did everything right and now it’s time to let the big guns do their job. We will help, as much as we can, but we can’t actively be involved in this case if you want the FBI’s help. You are an officer, you know that.

“Call Lowes,” she advises. “She is the best when it comes to family matters and I’m sure she will give you some time off. Don’t worry, Danvers, you will find your kid quickly.”

Maggie nods, defeated and it takes all your willpower to remember to breathe.

In.

Out.

Breathe.

In.

Out.

Your wife gets up then and accompanies the detectives to the door, thanking them for their help and pulling them out of your sight.

You stay seated on the couch, gravity pinning you in place, making you feel as if the cushions are swallowing you up.

In.

Hold.

Out.

Breathe.

In.

Hold.

Out.

Bre-

A sudden crash behind you startles you and you turn quickly to see Maggie’s hand resting on the side table. The fishbowl that’s always kept your keys in place is shattered around her fist, your keys lying on the floor in between pieces of glass.

“Mags…”

Your voice, pained as you have never heard before, makes her jump.

Her hand flies to the chest, cradling it there and now you can see the how the skin is broken, how the blood starts running down her arm.

“I- I’m sorry!” she says immediately, looking down at her hand, wincing. “Rao, Alex, I’m sorry! I didn’t- I-”

You are up in an instant and the next you are by her side, tugging her to the downstairs bathroom.

This.

This, you can do.

You can focus on Maggie’s hand.

You can focus on the glass embedded in her skin.

You can focus on the blood.

On your keys on the floor.

“Shh, love,” you soothe her. “It’s okay. I understand.”

“But-”

“I get it,” you look deep into her eyes as you sit her on the toilet. “I get it.”

Maggie nods but stays quiet.

And you are glad.

Because right now you need quiet.

Right now you need to focus.

In.

Hold.

Out.

Breathe.

In.

Hold.

Out.

Breathe.

Breathe.

_Breathe._

XxXxX

_Click._

_“Hello, my beautiful Mama Bear! I thought you weren’t going to call anymore? Something about me being annoying as –”_

“Kara’s gone.”

“– _fuck and something about you being jealous of moi? Something along the lines –”_

“Kara’s gone.”

_“– of me being like, the hotter redhead and the one with the deadliest body and –”_

“Kara is gone.”

_“– and really, I get it, you –”_

“Kara is gone!”

“… _What?”_

“Kara is gone.”

“ _… Alex, you’re not making any sense…”_

 _“_ She is gone, Kate. She is gone. Someone took her, I-”

“ _Did they ask for money?”_

“What?”

“ _Did they ask for money?”_

“… No.”

“ _Did they leave a note? Contact information?”_

“No.”

“ _Shit.”_ You can hear rustling in the background and a sudden thump. Kate’s voice comes further away and you can practically hear her yelling at her assistant. “... _Get the damn plane ready!”_

“Kate-”

“ _Hush, you,”_ she tells you sternly before her attention is drawn back to whatever the assistant is telling her. “ _Thirty minutes? Thirty long minutes? So, explain to me what is exactly the point of having private planes if I can’t leave whenever I want or need, huh? Emily, listen to me, I have to leave **now**! Make it happen.”_

You keep quiet. You knew Kate would want to come over as soon as you told her, and you are forever grateful that she is not wasting any time getting to you.

You will still have to wait six or so hours for her to arrive, but knowing she’s coming makes you feel marginally better.

“ _Call Renee, Ems! Tell her to meet me at the airport if she wants to keep being my girlfriend!”_ She waits a beat, probably hearing whatever the assistant is telling her. “ _I mean it this time! Just tell her Kara is in trouble… What, no! The dog’s name is not Kara! Remind me why I hired you?!”_

You can’t help but snort at that. All the time Kate’s being on the phone you have heard the constant rustling of papers and the shutting of machines all around. It really warms you that Kate is dropping everything to come help.

“ _Easy, Mama Bear,”_ she tells you, her focus again on you. “ _We’ll be there soon, I promise.”_

“Thanks, sis,” you can’t help, but whisper to her, softly. Never in all your 24 years have you encounter a person that resonates this way with you. What you feel for Kate is so different from what you feel for Maggie but it’s just as powerful and just as intense.

Susan – Vasquez – may be your best friend, but she really can’t compare to Kate. Vasquez is helping you look for Kara right now, yes, but you need Kate. You _need_ her.

You can hear how the air catches in her throat for a second before she is telling you as softly “… _Hang in there, Mama Bear. I’m on my way”_

_Click._

Kate is coming.

Kara is gone.

But Kate is coming.

That is something, at least.

Maybe.

XxXxX

“Babe?”

You look into Maggie’s eyes, sad and filled with pain, just like yours no doubt are, and you reach out for her.

“What did your boss say?” you ask her when Maggie’s strong arm comes rest around your shoulders and you stare at the bandaged hand that’s now resting limply over your lap.

Maggie sighs but accepts your choice of topic. “She was kind. She told me I could take all the time I need and that her resources are at my disposition for whatever the FBI can’t manage… she also told me to keep her posted and that family comes before work…” your wife sighs and you notice not for the first time that she is beyond tired.

It’s before noon and you are also bone tired.

“… Did I hear you calling Kate?” She asks after a moment of silence in which neither of you know what to do with yourselves.

You know you itch to go and wander the city. You know Maggie feels that itch too.

But you also know that she and you know that it won’t do anything.

If CADMUS has your daughter there is nothing you, as a single person, as a couple, can do.

Right now, Hank and Vasquez and the rest of your new coworkers are working on contacting Colonel Harper and making sure that they actually have Kara.

When you signed the documents cementing your position within the DEO you knew you’d have to start following orders. You knew some orders would be harder to follow than others, but you trust Hank and the short week you’ve been reunited has proven you that the man has the same level head you remember from all those years ago. What you didn’t know, however, was that the first order you were given was to stay put.

To do nothing.

To leave your kid’s search in their hands because, as Hank told you, _you are not capable of helping._

You are physically weak. The next five months were going to be spent building your muscle and resistance up… but you’re not up for training now.

You don’t have tactical training. Once Hank deems you fit enough, you will have to divide your training into physical work and mental work… but that’s months away.

You lack the know-how. After being with Maggie for over a year and living with her for months, you know that the workings of the police are special and follow certain sets of rules… you are not naïve enough not to know the DEO is the same and so far you have no idea how they operate within themselves.

And, worst of all, you have zero connections. Even if you wanted to try to demand answers, you don’t have anyone to call. You are entirely dependent on what the DEO and the police can do… you can’t do anything.

Except, call Kate and pray for her to help.

“Yeah,” you breathe out, snuggling into her side. You don’t know what to do now other than wait. “She’s coming.”

Maggie sighs at that. “I’m glad. We can use her connections with Batman and the Sirens.”

You scoff at that. “CADMUS has her,” you state. “I doubt her three villain friends can help us against the military without making this mess worse.”

“… I think they can help… if…” Maggie hesitates for a second, making you turn to face her completely. “… If CADMUS isn’t the one that took her,” she finishes quietly.

You scoff again. “Who else, but CADMUS, Maggie? They’re the ones that came after her.”

Maggie advert your gaze and you wonder why she is suddenly this shy on sharing with you. You think you are not being unreasonable. You really think that you are being good, staying put. Letting them, take control.

Letting them, look for your kid.

Letting Kara in their _capable_ hands.

You feel your own hands start shaking ever so slightly and you fist them tightly to stop them. To control them.

To control yourself.

Why isn’t Maggie talking with you?

“Why don’t you think it’s CADMUS?” you ask her plainly, shifting so you are facing her. You miss her warmth immediately, but you need to see her face, to read her. She is not being honest at the moment, she is hiding something and you need to know _what._

Maggie’s eyes are still away from you when she answers and you know deep down that she is trying to convince herself almost as much as she is trying to convince you when she starts speaking. “They wouldn’t do that in the middle of the night… they had their chance and we trumped it. They wouldn’t come back a week later and do it like that.”

You furrow your brow at what she is _not_ saying. “They are the only interested in Kara.”

Maggie bites her lip as she looks at you with hardened eyes. “I really don’t think they were the ones that took her.”

It takes you a moment to realize exactly what she’s telling you. Or rather, what she doesn’t want to tell you. “You don’t think Lucy’s involved in this,” you say without preamble.

Maggie doesn’t flinch, doesn’t avoid your gaze, doesn’t recoil. She simply nods.

You let your head fall onto the couch backrest, staring blankly at the ceiling. “Maggie,” you tell her plainly. “They are the only ones that know of Kara… I know you want to believe the best from Lucy, that she didn’t do it… but you need to see what is in front of you, Mags…”

You feel how Maggie stands up and you can hear her pacing around, no doubt trying to focus her energy on _something_. “You don’t know her,” she tells you. “She wouldn’t do this. Her dad wouldn’t do this.”

“If I recall correctly, he was adamant on the fact that we were not fit to take care of Kara… he’s homophobic as fuck.”

“Yes, he is. But even so, he is not one to take a kid in the middle of the night. If they wanted Kara, they would bring warrants and orders and a damn platoon to make sure we don’t resist. If Lucy wanted to, she would make an iron tight order, triple checked and all fixed so that we couldn’t refuse them.”

“Gee, thanks for making me feel better,” you grumble at her words.

You can almost feel Maggie rolling her eyes. “What I mean, is that they wouldn’t come for her like that.”

You shake your head. “Maybe not them, personally, but CADMUS is ruthless… the people that work in there are heartless, Mags, they don’t care about families, about feelings. They just care about their investigations, their experiments, the advancement of the human race…”

Maggie is next to you again, sitting as close as possible without climbing onto your lap. “Alex…” she says almost too softly for you to hear her and you’re annoyed by it for some reason. “Not all of them are like your parents.”

That, coupled with your slight previous annoyance, makes you shot out the couch and be the one that starts pacing around. “I know that!” you tell Maggie forcefully, fighting with yourself not to actually _scream_. “But I also know CADMUS, Mags. I have seen their research, I have seen the results of their experiments… I have seen what they had to do for those results to exist… Maggie… you don’t have the faintest idea of how many lives they have fucked up… The number of lives they have taken-”

Maggie is suddenly at your side, embracing you tightly, forcing you to stop pacing, but not preventing you from shaking. “I’m sorry, love,” she murmurs in your hair. “I’m sorry you know that…I know you are scared, I’m scared too. However, I don’t really  think they have her… Something in my gut tells me that they are not responsible.”

You sink into her warmth, still annoyed she can’t see what is in front of you. “If not them, then who?”

“I don’t know. And that is what scares me the most.”

You cling to her. You are not seeing eye to eye, but you are together.

That’s what matters.

XxXxX

You enter your baby’s room and survey it with critical eyes. 

Nothing has been moved since that morning per the DEO request. They had come and scanned the room, leaving everything in its place for the police when they came looking for clues… The police did their own investigation in there, but they didn’t touch a thing either, claiming they were going to send the specialist after their initial interview was done.

When the ‘FBI’ was brought to light, however, all help from the police was withdrawn and so now you must contact the DEO again, inform them the police won’t be taking any evidence.

You will need to give them permission to come bag Kara’s things to speed up the investigation. If Maggie’s claims are true and CADMUS doesn’t have Kara, then you will need all the evidence you can gather in here.

Problem is, there is none.

There is no ransom note.

There are no strange fingerprints, according to the DEO scan.

There’s also not a hair that doesn’t belong in the room.

There is nothing amiss… Kara’s room is in that stage where it’s not untidy enough for Kara to feel the need to clean it, but it’s not at its best either. The coffee that Maggie spilled is long dry and it stains the baby blue rug… but other than Krypto still lying on the ground, nothing feels off.

Kara was sleeping here not twelve hours ago.

How can she be gone?

XxXxX

You don’t know how long has passed, but you can see how the sun is starting to lower when the knock comes at your door. You’re staring at your phone, waiting for a call or some sign of… anything.

Maggie appears from the room she has claimed as her gym as a second knock is heard. Her hands are wrapped and you can see a light sheen of sweat layering her bare arms. You should tell her hitting things with an injured hand would cause more harm than good, but you know that her punching bag is one of the outlets she has to let go all her frustrations and emotions.

You wish you could lay it on the punching bag too… Perhaps hitting something would help you as well.

“Are you going to get that?” she asks you, panting slightly.

You don’t answer her. You really aren’t going to.

The knock comes again. Maggie looks at your pitiful form curled on the sofa and she sighs, walking to the door and wrenching it open.

“How can we help?”

The familiar voice register with you and you’re up in an instant, silent phone forgotten in the cushions. “Kate! Kate!”

Kate barrels past Maggie and catches you in her strong arms. You can see Renee embracing Maggie from near the door as you inhale Kate’s scent. She smells like clean sweat and stale air. You need to remember that she flew six hours to come be by your side.

She came.

For a second you doubted she was going to show up… when the hours stretched for so long that every minute really felt like an eternity… you doubted she was coming to you.

You doubted she loved you enough to put her life on hold for you, no matter how much she claimed she was on her way. No matter how much she claimed she loved you. Others had claimed so before and never delivered.

So far, the only ones that have come for you are Maggie… and Kara.

Oh, Kara.

“Mama Bear,” Kate breathes into your hair, clutching you tight. “It will be alright, honey. It will be alright.”

You cling to her with as much force as you can. You are so grateful she is at least the tiniest bit taller than you, making you feel protected in her embrace. The way she is hugging you feel so different from how Maggie hugs you… you feel safe, you feel loved, just like you do with Maggie… but you also feel… allowed… to… feel. Feel the pain of what’s happening, feel the despair of Kara’s absence.

Feel the fear consume you.

“Shh, honey,” Kate whispers, pushing you away ever so slightly and ducking her head to meet your face.

Your hands clutch her pressed shirt, refusing to let go. A small whimper leaves your lips as you try to hide from her inquisitive eyes.

“Oh, honey, no. I’m here. I’m here.” Warm, calloused skin touch your cheek and you notice how she is brushing your tears away. “Don’t cry, Mama Bear, don’t cry. We will make things better, I promise. We will find her. We will find her.”

The tears start running down your cheeks with more force as you feel your knees buckle under the pressure of your pain and hurt.

Kate’s strong embrace prevents you from falling to the floor. In any other situation, you would be embarrassed to feel an arm go under your weak knees and another to your back. In any other situation, you would marvel at how Kate can effortlessly carry you to the couch. In any other situation, you would be mortified, and to be honest, a little marveled to be placed in a warm lap where you are cuddled with love. In any other situation, you would let your mind wander to your childhood, trying to look for a memory of something like this happening before.

In any other situation, you would tease how soft Kate is around you.

In any other situation, you would be embarrassed at how much you crave her love.

In any other situation, you would try to be strong.

But.

Kate’s arms are around you and the only thing you can hear is her soft voice, whispering in your ear as she rocks you. The only thing you can smell is the saltiness of the tears and that thing that’s simply Kate. The only thing you can see is a blur of colors, of reds and greens and whites and blues. The only thing you can feel is Kate’s strong heartbeat under your cheek, steady, with purpose…

“K-Kate,” you sob into her shoulder. “Sh-She’s gone!”

“Shh, Mama Bear, shh,” she soothes you, pressing a kiss to your temple. The action is foreign to you, but oh so welcome. You can’t remember the last time someone kissed your temple… or if you were even kissed there before. “Everything will be okay, honey. Shh.”

“S-She’s gone. She’s g-gone,” you repeat as a mantra. As a dark chant that won’t stop leaving your lips, no matter how painful each word is to you. No matter how much you long for your statement to be a lie.

Saying it out loud makes it real. And it hurts. It hurts too much.

It _hurts._

You are faintly aware of words being spoken around you.

_“Yeah, I’ll take care of her.”_

_“Text me if the DEO calls.”_

_“We’ll go see what we can find.”_

_“_ _No, I’m not fine… but maybe I can do something now.”_

_“Thank you. Really, thank you.”_

You are faintly aware of the front door being opened and closed.

You are faintly aware that Maggie and Renee are gone.

You are faintly aware of how Kate, every so often, would brush the hair out your face, would scratch the base of your neck, would rub your back.

You are faintly aware that the tears keep raining down and that your lips keep murmuring your new chant… “She’s gone, she’s gone, she’s gone”…

You are faintly aware that the room starts darkening and that your curled legs are cramping.

You are faintly aware of the warmth against your side and how your eyelids start feeling heavy.

You are, however, acutely aware of the gaping wound in your chest and how it’s bleeding invisibly onto Kate.

You are so aware of the pressure on your lungs that is making it hard to breathe through the sobs.

You are so, so aware of how the cold is sweeping into you and how the flicker of light that once made your days worth living is abandoning you.

You are so aware of the pain Kara’s absence is causing you.

XxXxXx

You wake up still atop Kate. At some point, she’s arranged you to be more comfortable with her resting in between the backrest and armrest and a leg propped up so that she’s making a cradle for you. Your head is at her breast and your lower body is sprawled over the length of the couch. You can feel a little of drool beneath your cheek and maybe you would be embarrassed if Kate’s soft voice doesn’t call your attention to her immediately.

“Hey, honey,” she says almost too quiet for you to hear. “Do you feel any better?”

You blink up at her. In the moonlight, her hair looks almost like blood and her eyes shine with the same wilderness of a street cat. Her words take a little to register, but when they do you have to stop for a bit.

Do you feel better?

No. Not really.

The pressure and the pain and the wound at your chest and the powerlessness and the sense of uselessness and the knowing that you can’t do a thing other than depending on _them_ are still there.

But, somehow, crying it out and letting Kate take care of you for a little bit helped some.

You think you are ready to actually start doing _something_ instead of just curling up on the couch and wait for something to happen.

“No,” you rasp out to her. Your throat feels patchy and your eyes are itchy, so you close them and nuzzle her breast. “Thank you for coming.”

You feel Kate sigh as her arms squeeze you tightly for a second. “I’m sorry it took us so long, honey… the damn plane wasn’t ready in half an hour like Emily said it would and Renee didn’t show up on time, sorry,” she says with a little growl

You shake your head at that. It really felt like an eternity, waiting for her, waiting for any news and waiting for _something_ to happen to you, but you don’t want Kate and Renee to fight over it. You really couldn’t stand this mess ruining Kate’s life. “I’m sure it wasn’t her fault,” you tell her simply, thinking about changing the topic smoothly. “Where is she? Where is Maggie?”

You won’t ask about Kara.

If Kate didn’t wake you, if Maggie didn’t come for you, if Susan didn’t call, then nothing has changed.

There’s still no word on her or her whereabouts.

It’s late, you can tell by how your body is languid and the moonlight is streaming through the wide windows.

You fight with yourself for the tears to not come. You have cried too much now and you fear you won’t stop again for hours if you start now.

Kate’s cold hand comes to play with the baby hairs on your neck, soothing you in a way you didn’t know before and helping with those damn tears. “Renee took Mags down to the precinct. She knows Lowes, so they are going to see if they can do anything while the DEO works backstage.” 

“I thought the police couldn’t interfere if the FBI was handling the case?”

“They can’t, no. However, Maggie and Renee are both on leave right now… meaning that they can use their resources, if Ree has her way, without involving the rest of the force.”

You smile thinly at that. “I love Renee,” you tell her softly, basking on the feel of her fingers. “Have I told you that?”

“Once or twice… when she scolds me for being, how do you put it? Oh, yeah, a total dimwit and a really bad example for Kara.”

Hearing your kid’s name makes all the calm that surrounds you evaporate. You tense and you feel your breath catch and the hole in your chest aches horribly.

Kate sighs again. “We’ll find her,” she tells you with a sense of confidence you wish you possessed. “I called in some friends while we were flying here. They will help look too, honey. They will help.”

You clutch to Kate’s shirt with a hand as the other goes to your gemstone, wishing that the hand around the stone was Kara’s and not yours. “Thanks,” you tell her, dejected.

“Hey,” Kate taps your nose with her cold finger, making you flinch a little and open your eyes to her. “We will find her,” she repeats when you are looking directly at her eyes.

You sniff and settle down against her again. Maybe she wants to pee after hours on a plane and hours acting as your mattress. Maybe she’s hungry, you don’t know if she ate lunch and you are certain she didn’t have dinner. Maybe her arms are sore and stiff after holding you for so long. Maybe she is simply tired. But, for once in your life you don’t care she is in discomfort.

You need her warmth and her safety and her smell and her protectiveness and her solid form against you.

She’s freaking Batwoman. She’ll deal.

“Alexandra,” she calls to you and hearing your full name being spoken with so much love and so much care instead of the harshness and coldness you are used to is so foreign, but strangely welcome. “We will find her.”

You bite your lip at that. You don’t want to contradict her, but well…

“Hey, hey, baby sis… why won’t you believe me?”

The term of endearment takes you off guard and you look up at her, startled. “I-”

“Come on, sis,” she tells you as she brushes the hair out your eyes before cupping your face. “Why won’t you believe in me? In Maggie?”

“I- I-” you stammer. “I-”

“Come on, say it, love.”

“… I can’t be there,” you tell her so softly you can’t even hear yourself.

Kate frowns at your words. “What do you mean, honey?”

“I- I can’t be there.”

And that’s the real problem. You can’t, for the first time in your life, be there for Kara.

When you were forced into college you had the option to always go against your parents’ demands and come back home if Kara truly needed it. You had the option of dropping whatever you were doing and drive back home and be there if Kara called.

This is the first time in your life, in Kara’s life, that you can’t be there.

That you can’t be of any use.

“… Why do you say that, sweetheart? You are here, you are with us.”

“But I’m of no use for Kara.” The damn tears are now flowing down again and Kate’s hand cupping your cheek is the only thing stopping you from borrowing into her chest again.

At least you’re not sobbing.

Yet.

Kate looks at you, puzzled. “You are her Mama, her Mama Bear, Alex. Of course you are of use!”

“But I can’t go out there! I can’t call anyone! I can’t do anything!” you explode as the sobs start racking your body again. “I-I can’t h-help!”

“Oh.” Kate lets your face go, lets you hide your tears on her chest again, as she embraces you with force. “It’s okay, honey. It’s okay.”

“No! N-No, it’s not! I’m s-so, so, useless!”

Suddenly Kate is pushing you away and grabbing you by your upper arms in an iron grip, a grip strong enough you know you will have bruises in the morning. She forces you to sit you next to her, facing her and you are so startled you stop mid-sob when she shakes you with a bit of excessive force.

“Never again,” she says in a deadly quiet tone. “Never ever, call yourself useless.”

You blink, feeling two fat tears roll down your cheek. “But-”

She shakes you again. “No, Alex, I mean it. You are far from useless.”

“But I can’t help!” you tell her as you try to escape her grip. “I don’t have the connections, or the training to help!”

She shakes you once, making you still. “You already go get the connections! So go get the training!”

“But, I don’t know anyone that can h-”

“Alexandra,” she says again, in that same sweet and loving voice, so different from the hold she has you under. “Listen to me, you have got the connections. You have me and Renee and with us come a whole deal of other people -”

“I m-met you through M-Maggie.”

“We are still here for _you_ too, honey,” she tells you sternly. “You also have that agent friend of yours, and your director, no? They are helping because you know them. Those are your very own connections, aren’t they?”

“Y-Yes… But- But I can’t _help._ Hank w-won’t let me help!” you tell her brokenly. Her harsh treatment has dried your tears, but you are still too raw. Too hurt. “He says I’m n-not ready.”

“Then, you get your ass up and start training so you can join the search party, too.”

You furrow your brows at that, confused. “Wha-?”

“You were going to train for, what, five months? Then get started today! Start training, Alex and get ready!”

“… I won’t be ready on time.”

“So?” Kate smiles brightly at that and you wonder how can she be so sunny in this dark hour. “You will be better prepared if you start today rather than wasting your life in this couch until you actually need that training.”

You smile shyly at her intensity and at how she read your mind.

You were totally going to waste away in the couch until they found Kara.

But, now?

Now you are going to go to the DEO at first light and you will demand Hank to start your training.

Kate’s right. That is something you can do.

That’s how you will be useful.

XxXxX

“Civilians are not welcome here.”

You raise your chin at Hank’s words and clutch even tighter onto Kate’s – Batwoman’s – hand, tugging her behind you as you walk up to your boss.

After your crying fit and the finding of your new resolution, Kate and you retired to bed for a couple of hours before a text from Susan woke you.

CADMUS finally replied. And they are adamant they don’t have Kara.

So, of course, you bolted out of Kate’s arms and got dressed as quickly as you could and forced Kate into costume before rushing to the DEO.

Elliot, the agent that drove you home your first day at National City, procured you with your ID and pass to work, along with the address of the downtown facility and the access code for the parking lot. You were supposed to keep both the address and code a secret, but really, Maggie already knows where and how to find you and Kate, well, Kate got to tag along today.

It felt weird, sleeping cocooned in arms that don’t belong to Maggie, but your wife didn’t make it home last night and you are in no place to be sleeping alone. Kate was a magnificent substitute and you are not ashamed to admit that you enjoyed sleeping with her and won’t mind doing it again… probably you will be doing it again tonight.

Apparently, Maggie texted Kate after your first crying bout and she let her know that she and Renee were meeting with ‘a contact’ that happens to be in Jump City to try to see if they could find any assistance there.

Maggie still thinks CADMUS doesn’t have your baby, and, no matter that they are denying it, you won’t believe it until you see it. So, you are here pressing for answers while Maggie is with Renee two hours away looking for more hands to help… If what Kate let you know of this contact is true, though, she will be more than able to help you whether CADMUS has your kid or not.

“I know,” you tell Hank the moment you come stop in front of him. All around you, agents and technicians are working and rushing and yelling orders. You are not naïve enough to think all of them are looking for Kara, but you could see a couple of monitors with her photo and what you assume is a face recognizing program going through video feeds. “But Batwoman here was so nice to offer her help and I would be stupid not to accept it… sir.”

Hank growl on the low and the hairs on your neck stand up in attention.

Did you misjudge him that badly?

“Hello, director,” Kate says smoothly, letting go of your hand and offering it to him. “Pleased to meet you. Danv-, oh, sorry. Sawyer here has spoken highly of you.”

Hank eyes the hand offered to him, his arms crossed before he levels a glare onto Kate’s masked eyes. “Miss Kane,” he says in an eerily calm tone, too low for the people around to hear him, but loud enough you two to stiffen at it. “Does Wayne know you are here?”

“How did you-”

“What are you-”

Both your voices are cut short by Hank’s sudden raised hand. “I know everything, ladies,” he says unamused. He turns to you. “You don’t have the clearance to bring outsiders in, Agent Sawyer.”

“I don’t care, sir,” you tell him honestly, refusing to concede. You are itching to know how he knew, but Kate doesn’t seem bothered, just surprised, so you let it go. “She is going to help us and that’s all that matters.”

Hank’s stare lasts a full minute and you have to fight the urge to fidget before he finally sighs exasperated and lowers his arms. “Fitz!” he yells.

A lanky man, dressed in a lab coat and with a holo-tablet in hand rushes forward. “Sir?”

“Please lead Batwoman down to meet Pam. She will need to sign several forms before lunchtime.”

The man, Fitz, nods and turns to Kate. “Please follow me, ma’am. I’ll bring you to HR quickly so you can come back.”

Kate looks at you and you nod your consent. If all that will take for Kate to be here with you is force her hand until it’s cramping with signature after signature, well, you know she will be more than willing to do it.

“Sawyer.” Hank is growling at your back and you gulp a little bit before facing him.

“Sir?”

“Please don’t make it a habit of bringing in strays.”

“I’ll try, sir.”

“Don’t try. Do.”

“Yes, sir.”

Hank’s eyes soften just a tiny bit. “How are you holding up?” he asks you.

If you were any other agent, one that didn’t get to know the softer side of Hank Henshaw, you’d probably be weird out. As it is, you knew his softer side, the side that comforted you, that made you feel seen and heard. So, you aren’t really surprised when one of his giant hands come rest on your shoulder.

“Not so good,” you tell him quietly, suddenly incapable of looking him in the eye. “But Kate’s helping.” You muster the courage to quickly catch his eye, before lowering your gaze. “All of you are… thank you.”

Hank squeezed your shoulder and his grip is firm and comfortable. “No need to thank us, Little Danvers… it’s our job.”

You smile faintly at that. You know he is telling the truth but you also know that he is not putting people to work _just_ because it’s their job.

Thanks to Maggie you’re awfully aware of how many non-humans are taken by CADMUS and other organizations remarkably similar to that one on weekly basis. Thanks to Susan, though, you also know that one of the DEO assignments is to rescue the poor souls that are taken illegally and without reason. The way they work, how they operate, allow them to interfere with the injustice that is CADMUS and the like, but to your dismay that doesn’t mean that they always manage to bring the non-humans home.

And that’s just because non-humans aren’t considered citizens and to the eye of the law, they lack any rights and liberties. With the proper wording, the proper excuse, a non-human, no matter how innocent and harmless they are, can be locked up indefinitely and experimented on.

Which is why, even when Kara has a citizenship, even when Kara has all the documents claiming she is human, is in such danger with organizations like CADMUS around.

She is Kryptonian and to the common eye, to the common bureaucracy, she is just another kid but to the high-level of the government, she’s nothing but a _thing_ waiting to either be studied or waiting to go rogue. Kara has been in danger since she first arrived on Earth and that’s something you have always been aware of, even before you knew that the DEO existed to try to prevail over CADMUS.

So, when Hank tells you that they just are doing their job, he is right. But he is also wrong because you know he is putting the very best into looking for Kara, into pressuring CADMUS to part with their information. He has spoken with the president himself, Susan told you, to try to get to Kara.

So, no. He’s not just doing his job.

You let it slide, however, knowing how awkward he can get at times and instead, focus on what you came to do.

“Su- Vasquez said CADMUS is denying having Kara?”

Hank nods. “Yes. Agents Vasquez, Miller and May are currently there, getting proof of their claim.”

“If they don’t have her…?”

Hank’s already somber expression turns even more serious. “Then we keep looking for her.”

You want to ask what would really will happen if CADMUS doesn’t have her. What _you_ are going to do when the time comes for you to see that Kara’s not only detained but truly missing. You are adamant CADMUS has her… them not having her will open a whole new deal of pain and hurt you that are not ready for.

“Why don’t you head home?” he asks you after a minute. “Let us take care of this. With Batwoman’s connection, and ours, it will take little to no time to find a lead.”

“No, sir,” you tell him firmly. “I came to begin my training, sir.”

Hank sighs. “You are in no mental capacity to undergo the training, Sawyer. You will be better off at home.”

“I beg to differ, sir. If I go home I will get worried sick and I’ll start over thinking this. Kate, Batwoman, made a point to me earlier today. If I start training now, I’ll be able to maybe help a little in the future. I won’t be as useless as I’m now.”

Hank looks at you, deep into your eyes and you feel for a moment naked before him.

“Fine,” he says after a pause. “I’ll have Murphy escort you to the new recruits… they are already a week in, but I’m sure it will take no time for you to catch up with them.”

Sudden nerves start growing in you.

You are really doing this. You are really pushing your body and mind to its limits.

You are going to turn yourself onto training so when you find Kara you can be of use.

You are going to excel at this, as you are always excelling at everything.

Kara deserves the best of you, and you are delivering.

XxXxX

Two days and still no sign of Kara.

Susan, Miller, and May came back the day before empty-handed, but with the certainty that CADMUS doesn’t have Kara.

Two days and Maggie’s still at Jump City with Renee.

She is working with a friend of Kate and Renee and you would feel abandoned if Maggie didn’t text you constantly to check on you and to keep you posted of the little progress they are making. The Oracle, Maggie says, can really help you and you are lucky she was visiting Jump City when you needed her the most because, apparently, the only way to contact her is face to face.

Two days and your body is ready to shut down.

Training is brutal and, so far, one of the recruits in your class already drop out. He collapsed and he was rushed out the facilities. As you understand it, none of the recruits know what they are training for. Some think they are training for a special force unit, others for the FBI and a couple for the CIA. You are the only one that knows the truth and that makes you feel as lonely and removed as you can.

Two days that you’ve slept in Kate’s arms.

It feels weird to sleep on your bed, on yours and Maggie’s bed, with another woman, so you have practically moved onto one of the spares rooms with Kate when you actually are home. You are pushing your training from before sunrise to well into the night, much to Hank’s silent approval and Kate’s loud concern, so the few hours you are home are spent sleeping exhausted and comforted by Kate’s warmth.

Two days that Kate has been coordinating search groups made from her own contacts. As far as she’s told you, she has the whole Bat family (you didn’t know they were _so_ many of them) looking for Kara all around the country. She’s also, apparently, got her three favorite reformed villains to start moving their own connections all around the globe.

You don’t know exactly how having Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy and Catwoman working on your side will help, but all the extra hands are more than welcomed.

It’s until day three that something happens.

XxXxX

“Still, I don’t understand why you are here.”

You were called from training to meet Director Henshaw at the control room and the first thing that you see is Lucy freaking Lane in full combat uniform glaring up at Hank. Hank who is being incredible and is partially ignoring Lucy as he keeps working on a tablet in his hands.

“I told you, director. Your lack of progress prompted my superiors to send _help._ ”

You smirk at how irked she looks at saying those words. Lucy Lane was sent to help, but that didn’t exactly mean that she’s enjoying it.

“I didn’t know CADMUS was interested in our work.” Hank says as you go stand by him, prompting Lucy to glare at you.

“The president is concerned this little disappearing act will lead to severe consequences,” Lucy informs him coldly. “I’m here to make sure your department doesn’t fuck it up, director.”

You can’t help but snort at that.

“Something you want to add, Agent Sawyer?”

“Nothing, ma’am.”

“Please, Agent. Share your thoughts.” The smile Lucy sends you is a cold and false one, her tone dripping with sweet venom.

You chance a quick glance to Hank and notice how he’s looking annoyed and tired, but he gives you no indication that he wants you to keep your mouth shut, keeping at his tablet, so, you speak. “Gee, I don’t know, I was just thinking that the only reason we are having this problem is because of you, Major. If only CADMUS hadn’t try to bring Kara in that one time, we all be happy and safe in our respective homes, ma’am.”

And maybe your words were a little harsh, maybe your tone was a lot cold, but so far, that’s the truth and you think Lucy Lane needs to hear it.

Lucy’s already impressive scowl deepens at how Hank chuckles at your statement, but she doesn’t get the chance to say anything when she is suddenly interrupted by a new voice.

“Hiya, Sawyer!”

Kate comes in full costume and you have to bite your lip to keep you from snarling when Lucy gets a look at her and sneers pettily.

You remember what Maggie told you about the Lanes, save Lois, of course: that they hate anyone, not ‘normal’. So, by their definition, all LGTB+, non-human and vigilantes are persona non grata for them. Kate, well, Batwoman, is openly gay (even when she’s been with Renee and has been for years now, the odd picture of her in custom flirting and kissing girls is still a constant in the tabloids) and she is sort of an anti-hero that has ties with the wrong sort of people, namely, Batman and the Gotham City Sirens. So, no wonder Lucy is kind of hateful of your sister being around the DEO.

You know Lucy knows Maggie dated Kate Kane, AKA Gotham’s Party Girl, but you also know that she never learned that Kate is Batwoman and you wonder, for a second, what face would she make if she is to discover that little tidbit of information… considering that she not only hated that Maggie dated a person that was a bad influence on her studies, but that she also hated it when Maggie claimed she had started ‘hanging out’ with Batwoman after hours…

What is it like, you wonder, to hate so many people that don’t deserve it?

“What is she doing here?!” Lucy demands as she swirls to face Hank again.

“Miss B has special clearance to be here while we look for Kara,” Hank tells her easily as his attention is pulled again to the tablet in his hand. He frowns and curses under his breath in a language you know it’s not English, French, German or Spanish. Uh.

“Miss ‘bee’?” Lucy’s scowl deepens.

Kate shrugs, throwing an arm around your shoulders before her nose twitches and she takes a step away from you. They pulled you away from training, what was she expecting? You smelling like roses? “People here are lazy,” she says and you know she’s forcing herself not to be baited and take a swing at Lucy. “Miller started calling me Miss B and it stuck.” She turns to you, letting her head tilt to the side. “Ready for lunch?”

Your stomach clenches uncomfortably at that. It feels wrong eating and sleeping when you know Kara’s not around… when you don’t know if Kara is sleeping or eating. But, training is so hard that you can’t really escape sleep (something you are grateful for) and Kate has made it her mission to feed you at least twice a day and Hank is the first one to check that you actually ate something when you are at the DEO, so you know you aren’t getting out of this one.

“Yeah…” you tell her dejectedly as you give your watch (the one that once was Hank’s) a glance. Practice time is over and you have a couple of hours until the afternoon session starts. “I need to shower, though.”

Kate’s nose twitches again and she nods, somberly. “Yes, please.”

You roll your eyes at her antics turning to Hank. “You needed me for anything, sir?”

Hank hands you the tablet. “Study this and get back at me before you head out for the night.”

You took the tablet and saw a series of chemicals and substances, many of them that you haven’t seen before now. “Sir?” you ask, puzzled.

Hank smiles thinly at you. “The scans we made of your kid’s room told us there was no anomaly in her room, DNA-wise, but after Simmons fiddled with the samples she came up with this. She lacks the knowledge in this area, Agent, so it falls upon you to try to crack it.”

You look down at the tablet in your trembling hand and you nod. “Yes, sir.”

You will work on this until you’ve discovered what mysteries lie in those samples.

“But first, go shower. Eat.” You are about to protest when he cuts you from it. “The data will be there when you come back, Agent… But you won’t if you start fading away.”

You smile when Kate’s hand suddenly finds your unoccupied one, squeezing it. “Come on, honey, let’s clean you and feed you.”

You blush at her words, but smile nonetheless, grateful that Kate isn’t letting you succumb to your darkness. You can see from the corner of your eye how Lucy tenses at Kate’s actions and you wonder why is that.

You don’t think too much of it, though, as Kate’s is suddenly tugging you away towards the showers.

And your blush deepens, because you know that in your immediate future you will be fighting off a noisy Batwoman out your shower stall and possibly you won’t be able to keep her prying eyes away. Again.

And you wonder, not for the first time, how is it possible that this child of a woman is the one responsible for keeping you grounded and healthy in such tiring hour.

XxXxX

You feel the bed dip and you open your eyes warily. Kate’s arm is thrown around your waist as she spoons you in the bed, her soft snores the perfect lullaby after a tiring day.

 _~Hey,~_ Maggie says from where she is sitting at the edge of the bed. In the darkness, you can see the bags under her eyes and the redness that you know comes from crying too hard for too long. She looks pale and you are mostly certain she is wearing the same clothes she was wearing when she left.

 _~Hey,~_ you croak back at her. You untangle the hand that’s holding to Kate’s over your stomach and reach out to her, grasping the hem of her jacket. _~When did you get home?~_

_~About ten minutes ago. We stopped by the DEO before coming here.~_

You nod and you feel yourself relax marginally. Maggie is back.

You don’t need to ask her what happened in Jump City… she’s been keeping you posted for the last five days and you know that she and Renee have done everything they could while there. Now it’s the Oracle and her own contacts and influences’ turn.

They will look for Kara in ways the DEO can’t, using back doors, secure networks and different forms of communication to look for Kara. You don’t know why Maggie and Renee needed to be over there for five days, but you are happy they are back safe and sound.

 _~Did you eat yet?~ Y_ ou ask when she doesn’t say anything for a minute.

_~Did you?~_

_~I asked you first.~_

_~And I asked you second.~_

_~Ugh! Yeah, yeah, kiss kiss, hug hug and shut up already, some of us need our beauty sleep~_ Kate’s grumbling voice calls from behind you as she smashes her face between your shoulder blades.

“Yo, Kane, you are sleeping with my wife.”

“Well, that’s your fault, not mine,” you hear Kate mumble against your skin. “You weren’t here.”

You feel Maggie tense at that as she looks down at you guiltily. You smile at her. You are not mad. Not even a little. You weren’t alone and Maggie didn’t leave just because. She was out there, looking for answers when you yourself couldn’t.

You won’t ever tell her off for looking for Kara.

“Ready to rest?” you ask her softly.

“I’m ready to shower,” she answers with a slight smile.

“Then go freaking shower and let us sleep!” Kate whines, making you chuckle and Maggie roll her eyes.

“Fine, fine,” Maggie says, exasperated. “Want to come with me?” she asks you, a lot gentler than previously.

You close your eyes and shake your head. Maybe you are a little mad after all… Maggie left without saying anything and it hurt. You won’t condemn her for helping, for doing anything and everything to try to get Kara back, but the way she left was wrong and you will probably talk to her about it once you stop feeling so numb with exhaustion. “I’m fine here, Mags. Go shower.”

Maggie sighs as she stands and you don’t need to see her face to know she is disappointed with your choice. Kate’s right though, she is the one that left in the first place and she gets to deal with the consequences.

“Tell Renee to bring her ass here, will ya?” Kate calls out when Maggie’s footsteps can be heard walking away. “And come back after your shower, Danvers, don’t go mope all on your own.”

You crack one eye open at that, to gauge Maggie’s reaction. She’s still at the doorway and looks back at the bed. “That’s a double bed, Kate…”

Kate snorts, snuggling deeper against you, pressing her front completely to your back. “You are tiny, Mags… you won’t fall off.”

“Hey!”

You giggle as Kate shrugs. “Then don’t come back… I’ll simply be snuggled to death by two hot badasses,” she says with a dreamy sigh and you can practically see her huge grin plastered on her dumb face as she squeezes you tight. “My way to go, Mags, my way to go.”

Maggie grunts at that and leaves.

You know Renee will come crawl behind Kate in minutes.

Just as you know that Maggie will come not long after that to burrow in your front.

You are a little angry and hurt that she left, yes, but you are also so glad she is back.

You missed her.

As you miss Kara.

Closing your eyes, you wonder again if she’s sleeping, eating, having sun.

You wonder why she was taken, why now, why no one can find her. Her genetic markers are only shared by Kal and the stupid ass was all the way back in Metropolis and he is even refusing to pick up his phone.

You have spoken to Lois, though, and she is doing her very best to convince him to move his ass to National City while she is breaking up with him. You are glad she finally opened her eyes, but you are pissed that he’s probably refusing to help just to spite you and her. You still can’t understand why he decided to become a ‘hero’ when he certainly lacks the heart to be such… you know he thrives on fame and adoration, but really, he could go and be an actor with his good looks and he (and you) would be happier.

But no, he had to be a hero and save the damsel in distress one too many times.

That Lois is more often than not that damsel just makes you want to resign from this planet. She’s intelligent, she’s brave, she’s hot, she’s smart and she’s cunning… why was she always putting herself at risk and prompting Kal to save her?

“You’re thinking too loud again,” Kate grumbles.

“Sorry… just…”

Kate’s thumb over your belly starts rubbing circles around your belly button. “Over thinking helps you not to think… I know.”

“That’s not-”

“Shh, honey, I get it. I do.” Kate shuffles a little and presses impossibly close to you again. You can feel her warmth embrace you and you relax in her embrace. “When things get too much, when you don’t know what to do… your brain becomes your worst enemy. I get it. Thinking on other things, keeping busy, that’s what you can do to prevent the darkness… to stop _thinking_ about it, if even for a little while… if even for a second.”

“Kate…” Her voice sounds so far away, so lost in her own thoughts. In her own memories.

“… But, thinking about _it_ helps too, honey. I know it’s too soon, too raw… and it’s still happening. You need to face the fact that Kara’s gone, Alex. We will get her back, you know that. But you need to accept that she’s gone right now. And you need to accept that she will be back.”

“… What if she-”

“She’s though, Alex. You taught her to be her very best. She’s fine. She’s fine.”

And you nod. You believe in her.

You believe in Kara and her never-ending strength and her ever-present smile.

She is coming back.

You will make sure of that.

XxXxX

Having Maggie back changed nothing of the schedule you have been keeping for the last week or so.

You’re still up before dawn, at the DEO shortly after sunrise and training eight hours straight. You have a light lunch while you work on that data Hank gave you and then you train for another five hours before Kate drags you home, where you keep looking at the data… the data that’s been giving you migraines every single day: no matter how many variables you run, how many experiments you try, nor how many hours you simply stare at it… you can crack that puzzle.

The only difference is that Maggie’s there at night to hold you and to kiss you good morning as soon as open your eyes, ready to face the day. She’s spending most of her time down at the precinct with Renee, focusing on the spare information the DEO gave them. It’s not that the DEO is withholding anything… it’s just that there’s almost nothing to share.

You know Kate’s job at the moment is to coordinate all the info her resources keep feeding her, as she helps the DEO not only to look for Kara, but for the other non-humans that are missing, but CADMUS swears they don’t have… you want to be a fly on that wall, to see what happens in the hours that Kate and Lucy have to work together, cropping out agency after agency by the president’s instruction.

You really wonder how long they will be at it… how many agencies and black ops there really are and how they are all practically their own bosses with no one to answer to.

You just keep discovering how inefficient this government really is.

It’s the tenth day since Kara was taken and you’re a little surprised that when Maggie and Kate come fetch you from the showers they are somber looking and they guide you wordlessly to Hank’s favorite conference room. Today is the second time she and Renee join you and Kate at the DEO for lunch and this behavior is not only strange, it’s concerning.

“Sawyer, Danvers, Kane,” Hank greets you three without looking up and you notice that Renee is already sitting down at the table, glaring at the two brunettes that are sitting across from her. “Please, take a seat.”

“Sir?” you ask him as you sit between Maggie and Kate, on the opposite side of the table from the two strangers.

One of them is a tall woman, taller even than Renee and with a slight tan to her skin. Her black eyes shine with fierceness and her angular jaw could cut diamonds. She is hot, but you get the feeling she is also hella strong… she exudes dominance and you have to force your heart to stop beating so fast. She is dangerous and it makes you uneasy that Hank is sitting casually at the head of the table, tinkering with something in his hands.

The other brunette, though, puzzles you. She is a kid, a teenager, no older than eighteen and her fair skin is so different from the woman beside her. She is beautiful beyond measure, but while the older brunette is all sharpness and danger, this one is all softness and grace. That doesn’t mean that she is not powerful and dangerous, no, you can appreciate the muscle on her arms thanks to the sleeveless top she’s wearing.

You are the first one to know that her being a teen means nothing when it comes to her worth, though, so you know you have to be warier of her than her companion.

“Ladies,” Hank says, finally looking up at the thing in his hands. “I would like you to meet someone close to my heart. Diana Prince, please meet Maggie Danvers, Alex Sawyer, Kate Kane and Renee Montoya. Ladies, Diana Prince.”

You feel Maggie tense beside you as you too startle at the introduction. “Diana Prince? As in, our kid’s tutor?” Maggie asks quietly.

The woman nods and you see how her face softness a little. “Yes,” her accent is stiff and just a tad mechanical. “It’s a shame we meet under these circumstances.”

You glance at the girl, expecting an introduction to come your way, but Maggie keeps talking before any can be made. “And, pray tell, Miss Prince, what are you doing here in the DEO?”

Diana Prince smirks at that. She gestures to the girl at her right and says proudly. “We believe my daughter came up with something that will help you look for Kara.”

The teen beams at you softly and you blink at that, too stunned to even say a thing.

The rest of your party is sharing that shock if the sudden silence that fills the room is any indication.

It’s Hank the one that breaks the spell, surprisingly so. “Maybe it will help to know that Diana’s alter ego is known as Wonder Woman?”

The silence that follows _that_ declaration is deafening. Your brain refuses to work and your mouth simply hangs open. Maggie’s stiff form is frozen in place and you’re about to force yourself to ask something, _anything_ when a loud bang makes you jump.

Kate slams one hand on the table as she points to the woman before her with the other. “Fuck yeah! I knew I’ve seen you somewhere before!”

What.

The.

 _Hell_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hello people, how are y'all doing?_
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> _First of all my deepest apologies if there is any grammatical mistake, you know how hard it is when you are editing something but it's hard because you are crying your eyes out? Well, that happened to me._
> 
> _Um...I don't know I'm beginning to think that Kal-El was the one that took Kara, I mean Lois finally grew brains and dumped his awful butt and he doesn't want to answer his phone, he doesn't want to help, but I also think that the DEO double crossed them and they were the ones that took Kara._
> 
> _Also, SUPERCORP!!!!!!! Also, KATIE MCGRATH!!!!! Also, I miss Sanvers. ☹ Also, Amazon Prime Video did something amazing ( I was completely unaware ) they have all the seasons of Unsolved Mysteries..._
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> _For every mystery, there is someone, somewhere, who knows the truth. Perhaps that someone is watching. Perhaps it's you._
> 
> So, what do you think guys? The beta is right and Kal is behind this? or the DEO?
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> Or neither of those took her?!
> 
> Chapter 21 is already written and in process of being edited and chapter 22 is around 2k words long already, so, we hope to have next chapter up soonish!!!!
> 
> Come yell at me (and band with the beta @reinakonanofate) on tumblr at @charis-chan


	21. Helpless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's start this post pointing fingers, shall we?
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> Yep, it was all @reinakonanofate's fault:
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> _So, funny story. ( Y'all are going to laugh with me when you read it ) *nervous chuckle.*_
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> _This wasn't the original chapter 21, this was going to be chapter 22 after we finally got to know what had happened to Kara and who took her._
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> _When I was editing the original chapter 21, Char sent me a draft of "Helpless" and I suggested to her if..."Wouldn't be better if you release this chapter before the one I'm editing?" And Char said, "Why?" and I said. "Well, this chapter (Helpless) is not going to have the impact as it should have if you release it after chapter 21 (The original chapter 21)" And Char said, "Makes sense." and then I said. "I also want to see people cry." *evil laugh*_
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> _The good news the original chapter 21 A.K.A. The chapter where we finally get to know what had happened to Kara and who took her is ready (remember that I edited that chapter before this one.) I just have to change a bit of dialogue (because we changed a few things here and there) and I will send it to Char and let's hope it gets released in a few days._
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> _And more good news chapter 23 is also in the works. You are going to love it. And I'm sure that very soon we are going to start working on chapter 24, so hang in there dear readers._
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> @reinakonanofate is at fault here... I totally didn't think you guys needed to cry more than what you've already done... *innocent whistling*

Three weeks and still nothing has changed.

You have a little more info, but other than that, Kara is still missing and you don’t know who took her.

Renee and Kate were godsend and you will forever be in their debt. Not only Kate took care of Alex completely, she’s still taking care of her, but Renee helped you focus all your energy on productive things… in doing proactive stuff.

She didn’t let you maul your punching bag nor she allowed you to get lost in a bottle of whiskey… yes, the temptation was there and once Kate showed up and Alex latched on her, your first thought was to go to a bar and drown your sorrows in alcohol.

You may reassure Alex (you may try your best to reassure Alex) constantly, but you knew, you _know_ that after seventy-two hours, the chances of getting an abducted kid back safely gets low. Lower with each passing hour, even lower with each passing day.

After three weeks…

You won’t ever lose hope, but you are mature enough, bright enough, seasoned enough, to know that getting Kara home is getting harder and harder.

If you only knew something, anything, of those two that took her. If only you knew _why_ they took her, if you only knew where they took her, you could plan for something.

You could theorize, you could speculate what happened that night, you could even try to find _how_ they did it _._

Yet, up until this point, nothing has been discovered other than two people were behind it.

The Prince kid, Wonder Woman’s child, presented you with a little device that separates body signatures in wavelengths. It’s not too sophisticated and it works better when it has something to compare to, but it allowed you to know that in Kara’s room there are traces of several bodies: the DEO’s personnel, the police officers that attended the crime scene and the family, namely, Alex, Kate, Renee and you.

There were three signatures that you couldn’t compare to anything and the Prince kid showed you that one of those was more prominent than the others… that was probably Kara’s and then that left you with the mystery of the other two.

You scanned the rest of the penthouse and you confirmed that the wavelength the kid called as Kara’s could be shown in every room, but not the other ones.

So, she was taken by two people.

Two people whose signatures were not found in any other place within the house.

Their signatures simply appeared on Kara’s room.

Then the three of them vanished.

You have no idea how they took her.

You have no idea of their identity.

You have no idea why they took her.

You have no idea of where Kara is.

XxXxX

You are suddenly jostled awake by a shrill noise and an elbow to the kidney.

“Turn that fucking thing off!”

Alex grumbles in her sleep, (damn her and her ability to sleep through a stampede – or maybe it’s just that she’s too tired with all the training she’s doing) and cuddles deeper on Kate’s chest. Her newly cut hair is sticking in odd places and makes her look like a fairy. When she said she was cutting it off, you didn’t really think she would go for a pixie cut.

“Seriously, Mags, turn that thing off!”

You huff and push out the tangle of sheets, accidentally, or maybe not so accidentally, returning the favor and elbowing Kate’s back.

You reach for your phone grumbling at being waked at this unholy hour by and unknown number… you see Alex’s digital clock from the corner of your eye as you press the green, big, button. Really, who calls at four in the freaking morning?!

“What?!”

“ _Margaret! That’s not how you answer your phone!_ ”

The voice on the other side of the line freezes you. “Ma?”

Kate kicks you with the sole of her foot, pushing you away from them and you grunt as you almost roll out of bed. Last night, when you got home from dropping Renee at the airport, Kate and Alex were already asleep and so it was Kate’s turn to sleep in the middle.

Ever since they, Kate and Renee, came to National City, you’ve been sleeping in the same bed most nights… sometimes your nightmares make it impossible to sleep and you relocate to the living room, where you always wake up with a blanket thrown over your body.

Renee had to head back to Gotham for a couple of days, she is a Senior Detective and people depend on her to breathe… she will be back before you know it, though, and she will come to help you keep Kate in line.

In the meantime, you need to deal with that madwoman on your own.

(You ignore that little voice in the back of your head that tells you that you are also a little jealous of how Alex latched to Kate in this time of need and that having Renee around balance you four. But, you kind of abandoned Alex, after all.)

_“Margaret! I can hear you breathing!”_

“Ma!” you definitely don’t whine into the phone as you get up to avoid more kicks. “Why are you calling so damn early?”

 _“Margaret Ellen Sawyer!”_ her booming voice comes, making you wince. _“Don’t you dare use that tone with me after a month without calling!”_

“Ma… it’s four in the morning,” you whine, okay, you whine, as you make your way out the room and down the stairs. “Why are you calling at four in the morning?”

“ _Well, when my baby girl starts screening my calls, I need to get creative.”_

You groan as you collapse on the couch. You hate it when your mom somehow knows you’re screening her calls and avoiding her. She always knows when you do it and you wonder, being wondering since you got your first phone, how she does it. “Ma…” you whine.

“ _Stop with the attitude, young lady. I had Josh lend me his phone. I knew you wouldn’t answer any other way.”_

“That’s low, Ma, using your grandson to do your dirty work.”

“ _I wouldn’t be using Josh if you’d answer your phone.”_

You rub at your temple. It’s too damn early for this. “Didn’t you think there’s a reason I haven’t called? A reason I’m not taking any of your calls?”

_“Oh, darling, I know there’s a reason… and that’s why I called. You tend to keep things hidden, after all.”_

You sigh. Your mom is right. This is not the first time you ignore her to the point she has to hunt you down. Last time it happened, though, was when you broke up with Kate and you were so freaked out that you simply stopped calling for months. It’s not that your break up was traumatizing or anything, no, it was mostly that your mom swore you were marrying Kate and you really didn’t want to face her disappointment.

This time, though, this time you have been avoiding her because you have no idea how to bring up the subject of Kara being missing. How can you tell your mom Kara was abducted when you can’t tell her that the whole DEO, the Justice League, Gotham City Sirens, the Bat-family and a handful of other villains and heroes joined the manhunt?

 “Ma… right now it’s really not a good time.”

_“Margaret, I know you. Something is going on and you need to tell me.”_

When you were a kid you really looked up to your dad. He was a sheriff back at home and he was so, so good at his job… but looking back, the one that was more perceptive and had more insight was your mom. Your dad was good, sure, but he was fit for shoplifting and speeding teenagers more than resolving mysteries. Looking back, you know you aspire to be a detective because your mom is as close to a hardcore detective as you’ve known.

She knows everything and she sees it all.

“Ma… please… not now.”

_“Margaret, do I need to hop on a plane and go smack some sense into you?”_

“Ma, pl-”

_“Please tell me you didn’t break it off with Alex! Oh, sweetie, please, tell me I’m wrong. You were so happy together, you could m-”_

“We are still together, Ma!” You groan, long and loud. This, this is why you didn’t want to talk to your mom. She’s getting too close for comfort and she will, no doubt, reach the right assumption at some point.

_“Oh, no! Please tell me nothing happened to Kara! She’s my only granddaughter!”_

There. There it is.

“I’m hanging up now, Ma, I really don’t want to do this right now.”

_“What happened to Kara, Margaret?”_

“Bye, Ma.”

You press the red button and close your eyes.

Maybe you can catch a quick shuteye in the hour you have until you have to be up again?

The ringing of your phone makes you open your eyes and answers you: no. No, you can’t get back to sleep.

You know it’s your mom, so you let it ring until the call goes to voice mail.

You close your eyes again, just to rest them when the ringing starts again… this time, though, when you open your eyes it’s in alarm because the phone ringing is not yours.

“Dammit!” you launch from the couch and start climbing the stairs as quick as possible.

The only reason you don’t have the phone on silent is because someone might call with news and you can’t miss that call… in hindsight, receiving a call at four in the freaking morning would have made you feel hope and a little excitement, chances were that call would tell you they found Kara.

Or that they had a linking of where she is.

That your first instinct was to feel annoyance…

You don’t want to think why you didn’t feel any hope.

You refuse to think that you’re losing the little hope you still have.

“Hey, Maria.”

You reach your room just in time to hear Kate greet your mom. You slump against the doorway, resigning yourself to whatever a sleep addled Kate will say.

“Yes, Maria, I’ve been good. How about you? Is Mary still staying with you?”

Kate offers you a small glare as she listens to whatever your mom is telling her. She flips you the bird and you shrug. Really? What can you do if your mom decides to bother _her_ at this unholy hour? Besides, Kate should be in Gotham, meaning that she’s one hour ahead of your mom and therefore she should be already awake.

Dammit, why does your mom have to know you two are early birds?

“Oh, Maria, that’s wonderful! Yea- what? Oh. How do you-?” Kate sighs. “Yeah, give me a sec.” Kate takes the phone from her ear and offers it to you. “Your mom wants to talk to you.”

It’s your turn to sigh as you go take the phone. You aren’t surprised by this turn of events.

Your mom really knows everything and sees it all.

“Hey, Ma.”

_“Margaret Ellen Sawyer!”_

“… Ma…”

_“If Kate’s with you something big has happened. Tell me in this instant what it is and I won’t go there and smack you silly.”_

You can feel tears start building behind your eyes and you don’t know if it’s the frustration or the tiredness that makes you suddenly so emotional. “Ma, please, not right now. Please.”

There’s a pause in the other side of the line. _“Baby, tell me what happened.”_ Her voice has gone soft and suddenly it’s too much.

It’s too much having your mom calling you in the morning when you are at your weakest.

It’s too much having her soft voice, that voice that consoled you through the years, calm you.

It’s too much hearing the pet name that Alex calls Kara thrown at you.

The tears start pouring down and you wordlessly hand the phone back to Kate.

You can see that Alex’s awake now and she opens her arms to you. You waste no time crawling into them, sandwiching your body between the two in the bed, as Kate deals with your mom.

“I’m sorry Maria. This really isn’t a good time.”

You burrow your nose on Alex’s breasts, nuzzling as Kara often does. The action just makes your tears start falling faster.

“Yeah, I know you are worried. I understand… but things are a little fragile here.”

Alex’s hand starts to comb your hair and you clutch her tank top with enough force to rip it a little. Your wife starts a low hum, trying, and failing, to drown the conversation going behind you.

“... No, no. Coming won’t do any good… I promise, Maria…”

“Tell her we will call her later,” Alex’s voice is loud in the room. You don’t need to see, to know Kate’s throwing her a curious glance. “Tell her, Kate.”

“… I’m sure, Maria… Alex says they will call you later… Yep, I’ll take care of them, no worries… Bye Maria, say “hi” to Mary.”

You feel Kate shift behind you until she’s lying on the bed again, her front cuddling your back and letting her warmth enter your tired bones.

“… Why do you always say “hi” to Mary?” It’s the only thing you can come up with between your tears. “She hates you.”

You don’t need to see to know that Kate is smiling. “And that’s why I do it. Besides, your sorry excuse of a sister needs some love in her life.”

Alex hums in agreement. Your older sister is not well welcomed among your friends and family, not that you can really blame them. Mary can be… well, a really shitty person and a homophobic to the extreme.

You don’t want to judge, but you are pretty sure her husband left her not because he was a cheating bastard like she always wants the world to believe, but rather because she’s a shitty human.

You three cuddle in silence after that and you are grateful they don’t try to ask you why you decided today was the day you finally cried.

You have been bottling it up for weeks now and hearing your mom’s voice was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It simply was too much. Way, way too much.

“… Are you really calling Maria?” Kate asks after a while. It’s Sunday and you don’t really have a schedule to keep. You are going to the DEO as you do all days, but you are not really going to do anything other than work out and crack that formula, in Alex’s case, and keep contacting agencies and coordinating searching groups in Kate’s and your cases.

Wonder Woman (it’s incredible that she and some others from the Justice League and a small army of Amazons, led by no other than Little Prince, are all helping) is taking the graveyard shift with Lucy and doing what you, Renee and Kate do during the day. You know you can make them wait for a little for their shift change and nothing will happen.

Rao. Nothing will happen if you all stop the search for a couple of hours.

That’s a depressing and a very real thought you have been fighting for at least a week now.

“Yes.” Alex sighs, her hands never stopping combing your hair. “We need to tell her… we’ve been postponing this for a long while.”

“… How?” you tell her thinly. “We’ve been lying to my mom for more than a year now.”

Alex’s hands still for a second before returning to their petting. “I’m sorry, Mags,” she tells you softly. “I know it’s been hard for you… maybe it’s time we come clean to her?”

“Weren’t we going to tell her face to face?”

Alex, Kara and you had planned on going to spend two weeks back at Blue Springs on July during your family’s annual reunion. You were arriving a week earlier to talk to your mom about Kara and your marriage and to properly introduce your new family to your old one. Last year your relationship was too new and you were too busy with school to even think about flying back home and you wanted to use this year to make your mom happy, coming back home with all she ever wanted for you, finally.

“Well,” Alex says softly. “We can tell her now and then we’ll finally meet in July. Maybe that will be best. Give her time to wrap her head around Kara’s blood status.”

“… Do you think that’s an option right now?”

Yes, you were meeting the family over summer break, but…

But now, well, now you don’t know if it is going to happen.

You don’t know if you are going to be able to fly in time for the reunion with all the time you are taking off right now.

You don’t know if Alex and Kara will want to go with you after all this ordeal.

But, worst of all, you don’t know if Kara will be back by then.

You don’t know.

Something in your tone should have alerted Alex, because the next thing you know her hands are gone and she’s sitting up, looking down at you. “What do you mean?”

“Love… are you sure we’re going to my mom’s in July?” Even to your ears, the term of endearment sounded stilted, forced. Fake.

Alex’s eyes find yours and she narrows them. “Why wouldn’t we?”

Your tears are still running and you feel so small, so adrift, so vulnerable that the first thing out of your mouth is a lie. “I just think she, she might w-want to take it easy… not want to go after all this…”

You know she doesn’t believe you… you don’t believe yourself.

“Bullshit.”

“… Alex, I’m serio-”

“No, Maggie, tell me what you’re thinking… something’s bothering you…”

You can feel the knot forming in your throat. You are one of the most proactive people out there, hell, your brothers used to call you Baby Sinclair based on your always there energy and stubborn nature… they knew not to cross you or make you angry because you always get what you want and how you want it.

You are, according to them and those that know you, the embodiment of fixing your sight in something and then getting it. You know that whatever your goal is, you will get it.

Bringing Kara back home is a goal, a goal all of you are sharing at the moment… a goal you are not too sure you can achieve this time around and that scares you a lot.

Way too much.

“… Alex…”

You are left staring at her hazel eyes. Eyes so full of pain and sorrow and trust and wonder and pain and hurt and desperation and _hope._

How can you make this better? How?

“I think…” Kate’s voice startles you, her unusual hesitance is shown in how she pauses her words. “… I think I should go relieve Diana and Lane, now,” she says as she gets up from the bed.

Alex’s eyes don’t leave yours as she nods. “Give us five and we will go too.”

“No.”

It’s a simple word, but it makes Alex and you both turn to Kate. “What?” Alex asks as you sit against the headboard. The sudden tension in the air drying your tears in an instant.

“It’s Sunday,” she informs you as if already didn’t know as she gathers her clothes for the day. Knowing her she will be dress in a minute and leave in two. “You don’t need to be there and you two need to talk.”

“We don’t-”

“What are you-”

Alex and you talk at the same time and shut up at the same instant, turning to each other. It’s you the first to turn to Kate again.

“I don’t know what you are thinking, but you are insane if you think we are not checking in today.” Your tone is firm and to the point, leaving no room for arguments.

Kate, however, is the one that always goes against you. “No, Mags… Alex.” You know she added your wife’s name because she opens her mouth to protest too. “No. You need some time off. You need to talk and then, tomorrow we’ll all go and tackle the problem again.”

“Ka-”

Kate shakes her head and puts a palm up to silence Alex, turning to leave the room. “No, I mean it, honey. You need time. Couple time.”

Alex shakes her head as she too gets up from the bed. You’re watching them interact shocked. Since when they argue like this? “What we need is t-”

“It can wait, honey.”

Your wife is now pulling off her tank top, letting you see how little she’s been eating. “No, it can’t! What if-”

“You will be no good if you keep pushing yourself this much. And you _need_ to talk.” The way she puts emphasis on the word need makes your skin crawl. What is she up to? What does she know?

“Kate! Come on! You kn-”

Kate puts her hand up again from the doorway and you are not sure if this is the moment for you to intervene or not. “Save it. I don’t want to hear it again. You need to talk and you are talking now. Call Maria afterward if you want, go to the park, go get an ice-cream. Neither of you is putting a foot in the DEO today.”

“No! Kate, what is wrong with y-”

“Alex!”

Kate’s tone is unforgiving and loud, making even you jump startled. You have never ever heard Kate raise her voice like that. Not even when she’s angry. Not even when she’s chasing down the bad guys. Not even when she’s fighting with Batman. Not even when she’s scared. Not even when she’s sad.

And… you have never seen Alex become so tiny before anyone.

You have seen Alex face bigoted generals. You have seen her go toe to toe with Henshaw. You have seen her defend her ideas in front of hundreds of experts. You have seen her take down men twice her size at least once. You have seen her glare down Superman. You have seen her fight for her beliefs, for Kara, with teeth and nails.

Yet…

Yet, your amazing, brave, compassionate and all around resilient wife is suddenly frozen in place and Kate, the one that’s been helping cope, that’s taken Alex as her own blood, is the cause of that.

Angry doesn’t even start covering how you feel.

“What the hell, Kane?!” You jump from the bed and stand between Alex and Kate, noticing how your wife is trembling ever so slightly. “What is wrong with you?” you ask your friend, betrayed.

Haven’t Alex suffered enough?

Kate turns her glare at you and you’re reminded why criminals piss themselves when they encounter Batwoman. “No, Maggie,” her tone is cold and firm. “She’s been carrying this around for too long. She needs to talk to you. And you need to talk to her too. I know you. You are bearing guilt too-”

“What the hell are you-”

Kate cuts the air with her hand angrily. “Guilt Maggie, guilt!”

“You don’t make any-”

“Stop it! Both of you are- are so, so stupid! You need to address this or it will fester and when Kara comes back she will have no family to come back to!”

Alex whimpers and you waste no time embracing her. “Kate…” your tone is hurt and so, so confused.

What happened to the sisterhood these two shared?

Kate’s eyes soften and she goes to you, opening her arms and you are not a bit surprised when Alex barrels into her, burrowing in her neck. “I’m sorry, honey,” she apologizes, even when you can still hear the anger in her voice. “But enough it’s enough… you need to tell her.”

“Kate,” Alex whimpers and your heart shatters at how small, how young she sounds. “I-I can’t.”

Kate kisses Alex’s temple and rubs her back. “You need to, honey. It’s been too long now. Talk to her.”

“… Kate?” your tone is hesitant, scared and you wonder if you look as fragile as Alex does in this moment. “What are you talking about?”

Kate’s eyes meet yours as she gently pushes Alex into your arms after giving her another kiss to the forehead. “Talk, Maggie. You need to.”

Alex is still trembling, but there are no tears in her eyes and you wonder if she’s all dry now. If she’s cried too much and now she can’t cry anymore.

Somehow, that makes you even sadder… and more scared.

“Ka-”

Kate turns, leaving you and ignoring Alex altogether and making Alex deflate in your arms. She doesn’t return the hug, but she’s trembling. Trembling so, so badly.

“Love?” you ask tentatively when it’s obvious Kate’s really gone and Alex can’t stop her shaking. “What did she-”

“I’m sorry.” Alex’s voice is so small you barely hear her, but her trembling intensifies, confusing you greatly.

“Al? What are you talking about?”

She turns to you, taking a step back and out your arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She refuses to meet your eyes, but you see that she’s starting to cry now. “I’m so, so, so, so-sorry… I-I know you won’t ever forg-give me and I underst-tand… I-I can’t forgive m-myself either.”

Alex’s not sobbing, but you can see how her chest is raising and lowering too fast and too erratic… just a second from having a panic attack. “Alex, hey, babe,” you tell her softly. “What are you apologizing for?”

You don’t understand. You don’t get what Alex did wrong… or at least what she did that she thinks it’s wrong. She’s putting herself through hell on Earth to be able to help, she’s just three weeks in and she’s already two months ahead in her training. Her body is straining to its maximum and she’s realistic enough to know it will take more time for it to be at the level she needs for the field, but she is pushing and working too hard and she is the best and you know she will complete the training well ahead of her peers.

She is doing everything right, she is focusing on what she can do…

What is she apologizing for?

“T-That night-” Alex takes a shuddering breath. “That n-night you said you-you heard something. I-I forced you to s-sleep with me and I-I didn’t let you go-go and check on Kara. It’s my f-fault she’s gone and-and,” another shuddering breath. _~I-I’ll understand if you don’t want to continue t-this.~_

You are stunned. Too stunned to speak and Alex takes that as a sign to continue.

~ _I understand if you wan-want to take Kara. I’ll sign whatever papers you want. I-I’m so, so, so, sorry. I get she’ll be be-better with you. She’ll grow to be strong and-and so goo-~_

“Stop.”

Alex’s mouth audibly clicks shut.

“Alex…” your voice sounds so far away to your ears. “… You are so stupid.”

Your heart shatters as you see Alex curl into herself a little, but you need to say this. You need her to listen and you need her to understand what you’re saying.

You go closer to her, raising a hand just a little, trying to touch her. She flinches, never making eye contact and her breathing becomes even more erratic. Making you suddenly wonder if someone has ever hurt her. Or, if she is like Kara and she doesn’t answer too well when she feels she’s not loved anymore.

“Alex, babe,” you plead with her, finally touching her shoulder, not minding how she tenses. “Darling, I need you to breathe. Okay? Can you do that for me?”

Alex tries, she really tries, but she’s still on the verge of a panic attack and she still refuses to see you. Something is missing.

“Here, love.” You take her hand in yours, putting your interwoven hands over your chest. “Feel that? Breathe with me, okay? Try to breathe with me, love.” She gives another shuddering exhale and she manages somehow to calm her breathing after a couple of agonizing minutes.

“Better?” you ask her, and she answers you with just a tiny nod. You smile thinly at that.

Under all this stress, under all this whole world of hurt and pain, you marvel at how similar Kara and Alex really are.

“Alexandra Sawyer.” She stays so quiet, so tense and you feel so bad for making her panic before. Still, you need to say your piece. “You are the most stupid person on this planet if you think this is your fault.” Your voice doesn’t lack conviction and you hope it’s not cold or harsh.

Alex shakes her head, her tears still going strong, but not saying a word.

“Alex? Babe? How can you even think that this is your fault?” She doesn’t say a thing. She keeps staring at the carpet. “Alex? Talk to me.”

“It’s my fault…” she murmurs. “I-I… My-My only job was to protect her… I couldn’t do it…”

“…Alex…”

She finally meets your eyes. “I failed.” The steel in her voice totally mismatches with the devastation in her eyes. “She will be better off with you.”

“No.”

“Mag-”

“No!” you comb your hair in exasperation. “No, Alex, no. You don’t get to be a coward and say it’s your fault and give up… if anything it’s me the coward.”

You see the confusion beneath the pain and you offer her a hand, silently asking her to join you. You need the contact if you’re going to be talking about your demons too.

She stares at your hand and you can’t lie when you admit that for an instant, you feared she wasn’t going to take it. But, she does. Her hand is clammy and cold and too, too thin.

You tug her to the bed. You climb on it and rest against the headboard, pulling her between your legs and resting her back to your chest. The position is just so that you can embrace her with all your body and rest your chin on her head. So, you do just that.

“I love you, Alex,” you murmur against her hair.

“I love you, too, Maggie.”

“You think this is our fault,” you start in a low whisper. “And that’s not true. It’s not your fault… and I think it’s not my fault either. Should we have gone and check on her? Sure, probably. But then maybe we couldn’t be around to look for her… there’s nothing saying they wouldn’t doubt killing off witnesses. Should we use that baby monitor you wanted? Maybe, but I don’t think it would have done much of a difference. I really just thought I heard her, like, in my head… I didn’t hear anything amiss over the neighbour’s noise… Remind me to yell at Henshaw for the shitty quality of our walls.”

That at least gained you a small giggle from your wife.

But, really, according to Kate the noise from the penthouse next door kept for three more days after you were gone and even now that the neighbours are moved in, you can hear when they leave or arrive, their heels echoing too loudly in the short hallway that connects your houses.

“Should we make her sleep with us every night? I doubt that will look good when she applies for college or, well, when she starts dating.”

“Dating?!” Alex’s horrified gasp makes you laugh. “Oh, hell, no. Kara’s not dating, nope. No dating.”

“Not even when she reaches thirty?”

“Especially after the thirties… I don’t want people calling her MILF or some shit like that.”

You snort at that, happy to know that at least some things don’t change. “Fine, fine, no dating.”

“Good.”

“So, as I was saying before being so rudely interrupted-”

“Dating,” Alex grumbles.

“- There were things that we could have done differently, yes, but that doesn’t warrant that she would still be with us. We know nothing of the people that took her and we also don’t know exactly what happened, and, well trying to change anything is not an option. So, Alex, you need to get that it’s not your fault. It’s not mine and it’s not Kara’s-”

“Of course it’s not Kara’s!”

“- the people that took her is at fault here. Just them. No one else, got it?”

“But…” You don’t need to see to know that she’s biting her lip in consternation.

“Alex, I know it will be hard to stop feeling like this.” Rao, you to feel too guilty, although for other reasons. “But I need you to know that I don’t blame you. Kate doesn’t blame you and Kara doesn’t either, okay? You are doing your best right now and that’s all that matters. That’s all you and everyone can ask of you. You are trying and you are delivering love. That’s all that matters.”

Alex is quiet for a moment and you think that maybe you will shelf the conversation for later, for when she’s processed your words and when she’s ready to start letting her guilt go.

You are about to suggest you go take a shower together like in old times when her small voice reaches your ears.

“… Are you mad at me?”

“No.” The word comes to your mouth quickly and strong. “No, Rao, Alex, no. Why would I?” If anything, you are angry at yourself and the doubt and sadness that has been consuming you for weeks.

_~… Then why… why did you leave me?~_

Each word feels like a punch to the gut. Each word a death sentence. Each word, twisting in your chest so painfully that the air leaves your lungs.

Kate was right. You are carrying guilt indeed.

“… Alex…”

“I’m not mad,” she says just as softly, just as vulnerable. “At least not anymore… but I’m a little hurt, and I need to understand… _~please.~_ She tightens her hold on your hands and you feel how she is tense, too tense, again.

You gulp, the heaviness getting harder to endure with every second that passes. “Alex… I’m sorry,” you start lamely. “I’m so sorry I was such a dick… I needed to do something, anything to bring her back… I-I shouldn’t have left like that, it was stupid of me leaving without talking to you…”

“Yes, it was.” She turns in your arms and you let her cuddle up to your chest, resting sideways across your lap. “Why, Maggie? Why did you leave like that?”

You close your eyes, grateful that Alex’s new position hides her face from you… this way she can’t see the pain and sorrow and despair on your own face at what you are about to say. “About 68 percent of the kids abducted in Gotham City are never found.”

“Wha-”

“From the 32 percent that are,” you continue, pained, not wanting to hear what Alex has to say, not right now. “73 percent are found within the week… most of them dead… those that are found, alive, and unharmed… those, Alex, those can be counted on one hand-”

“Magg-”

“No, Alex, let me say this.” You open your eyes to see her looking up to you, mouth working, but without anything coming from it. She’s pale, ashen, and you hate being the one telling her this. “I knew that CADMUS wasn’t responsible… it- it didn’t make sense for them to take her so I wanted to act quickly. When Renee came here and we went down to the precinct… Alex… the numbers here are somehow worse. Sure, there are fewer cases, but the success rate is low, love, way too low.

“When Renee mentioned Kate and her connections… when she said Barb was near and that she brought part of her HUB with her to set up another of her ports in Jump City… Alex, I needed to go. I needed to make sure we had all our bases covered because-” your breath catches in your throat and you realize that tears are running down your cheeks again. “Because I’m so fucking scared that we are too late now.”

“Maggie…”

“I-I knew, I _know_ , that time is of an essence and I _needed_ to make things better. We-We had seventy-two hours, Alex, seventy-two until Kara’s case became one of those with retrieval rate really low… Alex, we have crossed that line a long time ago… I-I-”

_~ …You don’t think we-we are going to find her?~_

_~No.~_

Alex is then burrowing onto your chest, her sobs echoing your own. It feels amazing sharing this burden, but you hate that it was you that gave Alex these facts. Renee and you get this, you were trained to know this, and so you did what you could with your knowledge so that you could bring Kara back.

It took time, too long for your peace of mind, but when Barb gave you all the info she had, it was worth it. It didn’t work as well as you hoped, but at least, thanks to the Oracle, you have fewer places to look, fewer people to try to follow.

The Oracle cut half you work in just a week.

That gave you hope.

But now…

“You c-can’t,” Alex’s small voice pulls you from your musings a little after her sobbing was reduced to hiccuping.

“I can’t?”

“Yes, you can’t give up.” Your wife is looking up at you, a small glare in her teary eyes. “If I can’t feel guilty, you can’t give up.”

“… Love-”

“No, Maggie. I mean it. If I can’t feel guilty you don’t get to give up.”

“I won’t ever give up, Alex. I’ll keep looking for all eternity if it comes to that.”

“Then you don’t get to lose hope that we will have Kara with us soon.”

You narrow your eyes at Alex and she returns the gesture with force. “Okay,” you tell her finally. “I’ll work on my hope as long as you work on your guilt.”

Alex nods, determinate, the last tears rolling down her cheeks as she put the steely mask she’s been working on getting this past three weeks. “I’ll believe you when you tell me it’s not my fault. You will believe me when I tell you Kara’s coming home. Are we clear?”

The ice in her tone, the firmness of her conviction makes you nod. “Crystal clear.”

Because, now that you have said it out loud, now that you have to face it, you are ready to let it go.

You are ready to get Kara back.

XxXxX

Once you stopped the tears after crying for what felt like hours, you had a light breakfast and resigned to not go into the DEO. Kate took the sedan and the SUV is still at the facility and you two were really too exhausted to try to face the world today to even think about calling a taxi or an Uber

After a stressful morning followed by a really long, and emotional draining phone call with your mom in which you and your wife told her _everything_ regarding Kara, Alex and you decided it’s time to face the stupid rug that you need to clean for when Kara is back. And, while at it, maybe it’s also time to clean the place none of you had set foot in three weeks.

“Are you ready?” you ask your wife. You are holding hands, just shy of entering the door to Kara’s room and you are nervous as fuck.

You don’t know why, but you are.

And, judging by the paleness of Alex’s face, you are not the only one.

“As ready as I will ever be.”

You nod and you enter the room first, pulling Alex behind you. “Let’s do this.”

The room is the same as the last time you saw it. You don’t know why you’d thought it would be different as if Kara’s absence made the room something else completely. It’s hard to be here and you wish you could go back to your own room and kind of hide under the covers with Alex… maybe Alex can build that time machine after all and you will open your eyes someday in the future when Kara is finally back safely in your arms?

“This is dirtier than I expected.”

Alex musings make you jump slightly, but you look around and, yes, the room has a faint layer of dust on it and the rug is way past the point of redemption. Krypto is still on the floor and the bed is unmade.

Part of you knows that you didn’t set foot in here because for the longest of times this was a crime scene… the other part, the more realistic one, knows you didn’t just because you were scared and weren’t ready to see that, yes, Kara is really gone.

Alex releases your hand and goes to Krypto, taking him from the ground. “I can’t believe we left him here…”

You nod, just barely. “… We were-”

“- Too scared to come in here… I know.”

You smile at her and she looks at you with fondness. You make a show of pushing your sleeves up your arms, taking the hair-tie from your wrists and donning a ponytail quickly.

Alex smirks at that. “I’m really glad I cut my hair.”

You snort. When she texted you to inform you that she had finally cut her annoying hair (her words, not yours) you really thought she was going for something that reached her shoulders or something like that. Something practical and easy to take care off. Seeing her amazing, lush, silk-like hair gone and be replaced by a nest of spiky locks was not something you were prepared for.

Your wife looks hot with her new look. And when she’s in uniform…

Well, if the circumstances were different you would be taking her into a supply closet at the DEO without hesitation.

“Took you long enough,” you tease her. “Been saying you were getting rid of it since I met you.”

Alex just shrugs. “C’mon. Let’s get started… with any luck, we will tire ourselves out and we’ll sleep soundly tonight.”

You want to tell her that the chances of you sleeping soundly are almost non-existent, but you remember you are trying to be positive, to believe in her and the search you are doing.

So, you keep quiet and start dusting.

When Kara comes home she will have a room spotless waiting for her.

No matter how long she takes coming home, she’s coming and you won’t let yourself think otherwise.

XxXxX

“Hey, Maggie… come here for a sec.”

You have been cleaning the room for an hour now. You both are taking your time to make sure everything is in its place and that everything that needs to be washed is indeed clean and perfumed.

When you first started hanging out with Alex you were drawn to her smell. Alex doesn’t really use perfume or anything like that other than her deodorant, but she always smells clean and sweet and flowery and simply heavenly. It took you a little while to figure out that your then “date interest” has a heavy hand when it comes to fabric softener and that her clothes were always perfectly clean and neat. It was weird, you thought that a college student, barely above legal age, no doubt fresh out her parents’ house, kept so clean and so immaculate.

Later, when you discovered she was a Ph.D. student you chalked it up to her being a control and a neat freak. But, when you met Kara and got to know her, everything started to make sense.

Kara hates laundry, she hates folding clothes (which is a good punishment when you don’t want to ground her, but she needs to cool down a little) but she loves the fabric softener’ smell. She loves it to the point that when she is having an off day, Alex would change her sheets just so she can sleep better at night.

So, it only makes sense that Alex made sure to change the sheets and pillowcases as you dusted her bookcases’ book by book, taking special care to put it everything back as it was before Kara left.

Once Alex was done with the bed, she moved to the closet to see what dirty clothes were in the hamper and that’s when she called you.

Neither of you ever go into Kara’s closet. Her room, like pretty much everywhere that are dubbed as Kara’s spaces, is respected and your girl is in charge of keeping the room tidy, putting her clothes away when Alex delivers them folded to your little girl and bringing her dirty things to Alex on laundry day. She knows that you vacuum as Alex does laundry, so she always has all her things put away for those days, but when you vacuum you just go in and out, cleaning, but not poking around.

That’s how it was back in Gotham and how you were starting to settle in National City.

So, when Alex calls you from the closet, you go, not knowing what to expect.

And well, even if you had an idea of what you were expecting, what Alex shows you, is not something you would have guessed.

“Is that a portrait?” you ask your wife, amazed.

“… I think is it…”

You know Kara likes to colour and that she also likes to draw sometimes, but well, up until now, you didn’t know she used the easel she’s had since you met her. When you asked Alex about it, after the first time you ventured into Kara’s room, your wife told you Kara liked to paint sometimes, but that since the accident she hasn’t done anything big.

And when she said big, you imagined some kind of, well, some kind of smeared colours here and there, some scribbles and, why not, a couple of stick figures, something fit for a kid, but done on a large surface.

What you didn’t expect was for Kara’s ‘big’ meant gallery-worth art.

The portrait, or what you _think_ is a portrait, it was done in pencil and it’s far from complete. You have seen how artists sketch the preliminary lines of their works and how, little by little, they start filling in the drawings, getting rid of the sketch as they go… well, Kara is not like that.

She started at the top-right corner of the thick white, cardboard and went diagonally down. You can’t see any marks or anything like that indicating what she is supposed to draw next, but the part that’s finished is drawn in so much detail it looks like a photograph. It was all done in pencil, yes, but the shadows and the lights are perfect, as are the lines and, wow, she’s even drawn Alex’s hair with precision, hair by hair. She’s almost done drawing Alex and she is halfway drawing you, you can see half your face done and, amazing, the girl is a true artist.

“… Wow…”

Alex smiles. “Yeah… I didn’t know she was drawing again…” she crinkles her brow. “I wonder where she got the supplies… I haven’t bought her anything in years.”

You look at Alex, weird out. “Really?”

Alex nods, never looking at you. “I mean, she hasn’t done much other than colour since my parents’ accident.”

You turn back to the portrait, mesmerized, taking in all the little details. It’s a simple pose, you think, and it doesn’t have any background other than a sky of greys, but the detail is amazing. “Why is that? She’s really good and she loves to colour… I remember that she coloured all the time when I first started to stay over.”

Alex shrugs her eyes still glued to the masterpiece. “I don’t know. Mom used to buy her a lot of paints and stuff and she used to paint when she was left with the sitters… maybe she missed them too much to keep painting?”

You hum in acknowledge, but you don’t really think that Kara’s little drawing break came from the parents’ death. Still, something else prickled your attention. “Paints? Does she paint too?”

Alex smiles softly. “Yeah, she’s amazing. Her landscapes are the best.”

You turn towards her embracing her by the waist. “Do you have anything of hers…?”

Alex’s brow crinkles again. “Well, no… Most of her stuff is back in Midvale. She didn’t want to bring much besides her clothes.”

You hum again. You know Alex kept her parents’ house and that she kind of fled the place as soon as Kara was able to travel. You know she hasn’t gone back but you know she pays a lady to go and make sure everything is kept tidy and that no one tries to break in. You also know that the house has years’ worth of experiments and research on Kryptonian physiology that Alex will, at some point, go to reclaim.

“Let’s keep cleaning,” you tell her softly. “She can finish this when she comes back.”

Alex nods. “Yeah. She will finish it soon.”

You smile.

Yeah. She will finish it soon.

XxXxX

Days pass and the weight of your guilt and fear ebbs little by little.

The missing kids’ data is still at the forefront of your mind, but you have decided to ignore it. And to simply stop thinking about it.

You spent the days splitting your time between the DEO and your precinct, trying to use whatever resources you have at hand to look for Kara.

You can see your colleagues shaking their heads at you, some exasperated, no doubt thinking you are too stubborn to keep looking… some others just sadly, thinking you are beating a dead horse.

You know you are the talk of the precinct, especially after they saw you hanging out with the so famous Detective Montoya on a daily basis. You know they talk behind your back and that they keep saying how dumb you are to think your daughter is coming back unharmed.

Rao, you want to punch them all in their ugly faces and be done with it… but you can’t.

The only ones that have shown support are the guys at the Science Division and you are so grateful for it. The unit at the precinct is small, only five other police officers are assigned to the cases that go bump in the night and your partner, Karen Starr, is so supportive and amazing with you.

You know it had to do with the fact that these guys have seen stranger things than the rest of the force, and that they have come to rely on their instincts more than the data (something you are learning to do) and so they are positive Kara’s coming back.

You wish you were at their level of confidence, but alas, you are not there yet.

When you’re at the DEO your days are spent going over the data they have and contrasting it against what Barb and the NCPD offered you.

It’s tedious, is tiring, but this is what you can do while the people with the big guns (mainly the DEO, the Justice League, the Gotham City Sirens and the small Amazon Army) comb the planet meticulously… none of you can rule out that Kara can be anywhere under the sun… it’s been long enough that she could be in China by now.

So, yes, even though it’s hard, you are scraping by and you don’t feel so helpless now.

Little by little.

Almost as slow as the grass grows.

But.

Your hopes are getting up and that’s all that matters.

XxXxX

“Honey, I’m home!”

You sigh at how dramatic Kate can be. You are spread out in the dining room, the latest reports blanketing the surface… considering it’s an eight people table, it says a lot that you can’t see the glass under your papers.

“Where are you, dears?!” Kate’s loud voice resonates around, even when she can easily see you from where she’s taking off her shoes as Renee wheels her suitcase behind her, finally coming back after whipping Gotham’s officers in shape.

“Why are you always so loud?” Alex asks as she comes out your small house gym, drying her short hair with the towel that’s resting around her shoulders. Ever since she started the training she’s been laying it thick on the punching bag. While you sometimes join her, today you wanted to keep looking at the reports.

Two days ago, a possible lead was found. Apparently, the device Little Prince came up with showed some residual wavelengths in northern Canada that matched Kara’s. She and her platoon of Amazon warriors combed the area but found nothing other than ice and more ice so far…

To say you are disappointed is an understatement, but they are focusing on there until they can say for sure if the device malfunctioned or that Kara was indeed there for a period of time at some point.

You haven’t told Alex, the knowledge is being kept between Kate, Henshaw and yourself… you don’t want to raise your wife’s hopes up to then just to stomp on them if this clue ends being a false alarm. The Prince kid swears her device works. The weird tablet-looking thing she created is a little out your comprehension, but Alex says is an amazing invention and that, yes, it works and the kid’s conviction makes you believe in her even if your wife didn’t approve it.

So, yeah, those reports are a little too important to spend time punching a bag with your wife at the moment.

“I’m loud because that’s the only way you ever listen to me!” Kate says dramatically as she throws herself across the couch, Renee just shakes her head at her antics as she ignores all of you and goes upstairs. No doubt she is going to unpack and then going to sleep.

It’s close to one in the morning and you know for a fact that Renee worked hard so she could come back as soon as possible and that she finished her case an hour or so before boarding Kate’s plane. She might travel in luxury, but the bags under Renee’s eyes tell it all.

She’s tired beyond measure.

“Get off! You stink!”

You are pulled from your papers when Kate’s whining reaches your ears. Alex is now sprawled over Kate, her arms raised just so that Kate’s nose is buried in her armpit.

You shake your head at them… they are so childish sometimes and you wonder why Alex gets so upset when Kate eggs Kara on when she’s just as immature when it comes to Kate.

You smile softly at their wrestling forms, though, because you have never seen Alex be so at ease with someone that’s not you or Kara.

Alex deserves all the love in the world and there are few loves as intense as Kate’s.

You are glad they found each other.

“Hey, kids,” you call them when Kate manages to flip them so Alex is now beneath her. “Don’t break anything!”

You are so glad you invested in a robust couch and a sturdy coffee table… you bought them with Kara’s ever growing strength in mind, but they will work for a couple of oversized toddlers too.

“Ma-Maggie!” Alex’s laughing voice calls to you. “Maggie! H-Help!”

Of course, Kate’s now tickling her.

You roll your eyes. You’re not getting in the middle of that and it’s not your fault that it’s a not-so-secret secret that Alex is ticklish as hell.

Really, she brought in onto herself, bothering Kate in the first place.

“Walnut, leave her be,” Renee says as she comes downstairs dressed in loose pants and an oversize t-shirt. She’s carrying a thin square wrapped in newspaper under her arm.

“But she started it!” Kate whines like the kid she is.

Renee rolls her eyes and goes to her girlfriend, promptly smacking her square in the ass. “Get up, walnut.”

Kate jumps at the unexpected pain and rolls off of Alex, landing hard on the space between the coffee table and the couch. “Ow…”

“Oh, no. No, you don’t,” you watch amused as Renee flicks Alex on the forehead when she tries to follow Kate to continue their little match. “Stay there, hazelnut, I want to talk to you.”

You wonder if Renee’s nicknames derive from her nut obsession. Really, the woman can be found snacking on them through the day, all week, and she is cranky when she can’t get any. But, then again, as long as she doesn’t start calling you something strange like pecan or peanut… that’s reserved for the nut jobs that are your partners.

“Come here, Mags,” Renee calls you as she sits on the couch, keeping a firm hand clutched at the back of Alex’s neck, immobilizing her like a badly behaved puppy.

When you get up to join them, you notice that she’s put her feet on Kate’s stomach, preventing her from standing up.

“Really?” you ask her amused. “Now you moonlight as kindergarten monitor?”

Renee shrugs. “As long as I don’t end up handing out spankings like candies, I don’t mind.”

“That’s because you like spanking only my a-urgh” Kate’s lewd comment is interrupted by Renee’s heel being painfully dragged across her stomach.

“Eww! Gross!” Alex says, scrunching her nose and earning her a sharp shake from Renee.

You sit on the coffee table, taking the chance of a downed Kate to plant your feet on her legs.

“Hey!” Kate says indignantly from the ground, jostling you just a little. “Don’t knock it off until you try it!”

Alex’s face is the picture of grossed out as she replies. “I don’t care about _that_! I can’t get the image of your pasty ass out my head, now!”

You raise an eyebrow at that. “Really? And how do you know is pasty?”

Alex’s face reddens to the point that you fear she is going to burst a blood vessel. “Uh…”

Renee shakes her head and her eyes makes contact with yours. “Remind me why we are with these idiots?”

“… We love them…?” you make your voice go as hesitant as you can manage.

“Debatable.”

“Oy!” Alex cries, just as indignant as Kate.

“… They can cook…?”

“Yours might… mine is a lost case.”

“Ree!”

“… They are house broken…?”

“… That might be the cause, yes.”

You have to bite your lip to keep from laughing at the massive pouts on their faces.

“Anyway,” Renee says, ignoring those two idiots. “I have something for you two here.”

“Oh, let me up! Let me up! I want to see too!” Kate starts wiggling and Renee simply turns to you, her face impassive as she hands you the wrapped square.

You take great pleasure in digging your toes in the soft part of her thighs, making her wince and settle down. You take the square and notice is light and feels somewhat fragile. “What is this?”

“A belated Mother’s Day gift,” Renee says with a sad smile. “It’s a gift for both of you, guys.”

Alex’s eyes start to water at that and you know at that moment that your wife has crossed from tired to exhausted. Not only did she willingly start rough-housing with Kate, she’s now teary over something that Renee brought you without really knowing what’s in it. Sure, it’s related to Mother’s Day and that’s something that makes your own throat close up… well, maybe Alex has reasons to cry as you too suddenly feel like crying too.

“You shouldn’t have,” you tell her softly, inspecting the package and seeing nothing that could tell you what’s in it. You lock eyes with Alex and know that she’ll support what comes out your mouth next. “We can’t take it, Renee. Thanks, but it feels wrong.”

You pass it to her again, but she shakes her head, pushing it back to you. “It’s not from me… it’s not from us,” she motions to herself and to the still downed Kate. “It’s from Kara.”

Alex’s breath hitches and you feel light headed for a second.

“Wha-?” Alex says, dazed.

“She asked us to help her,” Kate announces and you turn to her to see a little smile on her face. “Your move here took us by surprise and it wasn’t ready when you guys came here… we were planning on coming around Mother’s Day and bring it then.”

You can feel your chest clench at Kate’s soft tone. Kara has been planning this for a while if what she’s telling is true. “Kara…?”

“Open it,” Renee gently commands you.

You reach a hand to Alex and she wastes no time in stepping on Kate and joining you on the table.

Yeah, you are really glad you invested in such robust furniture.

“Together?” you ask her softly.

She nods. “Together.”

Peeling the paper takes little to no time and you are left speechless at what you are seeing.

It’s another portrait.

But, this time, it’s not of Alex resting her chin on your shoulder, her cheek pressed against you as she smiles softly at you. No, it’s not of you letting your head fall back just so that the corner of your mouth is just an inch short of her mouth as you look at her with plain adoration. No, it’s not a pencil drawing, so detailed it looks more like a photograph than a drawing. No, this time is not all soft greys and sharp shadows and bright lights.

No.

This time the portrait is a watercolor masterpiece.

Just like the drawing, you can see how she didn’t sketch, you can see how she never made a mistake. Just like the drawing, it has your face and Alex’s in it… but it also has Kara in it.

Your little girl made it so that she’s in the middle, her smile as beaming as you have ever seen it. Her blonde hair strands have reddish highlights to it and she’s wearing her snapback backward just so that she looks like an imp with a slight breeze making her hair flutter just a little. It’s painted so that only the upper half of your torsos are shown and it doesn’t surprise you she painted herself wearing her sleeveless rainbow top.

At her right is Alex. She too is smiling brightly to the front and she’s wearing her most comfy red tank top, her bare arm going around Kara’s shoulders, holding her softly. Her face is tilted upwards just a bit so she looks like she’s looking down her nose, almost as if she was captured mid laugh… and taking into account how her nose is wrinkled a tiny bit, you think that she was.

And you… you have never considered yourself ugly, maybe not the hottest or the prettiest, especially when you hang out with goddesses like Kate and Alex on a daily basis… but seeing yourself as Kara thinks of you… you marvel at how Kara could capture herself so truthfully, so honestly… she’s the light and the sun and all the good things and her smile and eyes show that… and Alex, Alex the love of your life, was painted just as she is: all softness and love and laughter…

And you…

If this is how Kara sees you… you are doing a pretty good damn job.

Your face, in contrast to the other two, is not showing white teeth and dimples, no, yours is smiling fondly, smiling tenderly, smiling lovingly. If Alex portraits warmness and Kara never ending light, your portrait… calmness and security, those are the only words you find to express what Kara’s representation of you makes you feel.

You are wearing a thin looking flannel shirt and while Alex embraced Kara’s shoulders, you are embracing her middle with a firmness that makes you ache… that’s how you usually hug her. Kara’s leaning just a tad into you and you think that’s the reason you’re not looking up like them, but you’re looking at them both with tenderness. Your hair, unlike Alex’s, is pulled up in a loose ponytail, letting you see your uncovered face.

Kara’s amazing.

She even filled in the background with soft tree leaves and sunny skies, hinting that you are in a park of some sort.

“Do you like it?”

“… it’s amazing,” Alex whispers wetly and you startle when a tear suddenly drops into the painting, resting motionless for an instant before it starts rolling along the protective glass.

“She gave it to me,” Renee explains, “so we could frame it properly. She wanted it ready for Mother’s Day… I, we, think you should have it now if even a little late.”

You don’t really know what to say, other than you’re hanging it first thing in the morning.

Your neighbors might be assholes with all the noise they had their workers make, but you were raised right and you are not hammering at almost two in the morning. You know how to respect other people’s sleep.

“Thanks, Ree,” Alex says as she steps on Kate again, collapsing in Renee’s arms. “This means a lot.”

Renee smiles as she kisses Alex’s temple. “You’re welcome, honey. You’re welcome… she was working on another painting, for your birthday” she tells you. “But I don’t know if she finished it…”

You waste no time in copying Alex, stepping on Kate’s stomach to reach them and embrace them too.

“We saw it today,” you inform her as you hug her as hard as you can manage. “It’s beautiful too… it’s not finished…”

“… But she will get it done soon, I’m sure,” Alex says firmly between her sniffles.

You nod at that and you are glad when Renee squeezes you too to her tall form in her own brand of motherly love. You are so grateful you have her in your life.

“Can I join the hug now?” Kate asks, a little out of breath, after a minute of silence.

“No,” you and Renee answer. Alex’s too busy sniffling to even pay attention to her so called sister.

Kate grumbles too low for you to hear what she said, but you don’t mind her. Your eyes are trained on the portrait you left on the coffee table and your mind is wandering to the one you put back on Kara’s closet, the one meant for your birthday in just a handful of days. You had no idea she was so talented… you had no idea she could make you feel warmth even when she’s not around.

You cherish both portraits, but really, the best gift you can ask for right now is having your kid safely in your arms.

“Come on, honey,” Renee says a little while later. “Go take a shower, it’s time we all go to bed.”

Alex nods, wiping the last of her silent tears away as she stands up. “I’ll be quick,” she tells no one, but that’s the cue you and Renee take to get up and start packing things away.

“Right!” Kate calls from the floor. “Leave the wounded behind!”

Renee and you share an amused look as you keep gathering the reports and neither of you are surprised when Kate doesn’t rise from her deathbed. What surprises you, however, is that not five minutes later a phone starts ringing.

Renee and you pause mid motion and Kate springs from her spot like a jack-in-the-box.

The phone rings for the second time and you suddenly realize it’s not yours… it’s not your shrill, but constant ringtone.

It’s not Renee’s, her own phone is in her hand.

It’s not Kate’s, hers in the floor near where her head was.

That only leaves…

The phone stops ringing abruptly and you hold your breath.

Unconsciously you start counting in your mind, expecting the caller to call back, to call you, to call Renee, to call Kate…

When you reach the sixty-six, Alex comes running down the stairs, stopping at the landing, her face pale, too pale. Her hair is dripping onto her uniform shirt, her cargo pants are undone and she has her phone in one hand and the other holds her combat boots.

“… They…” she starts, in shock. “… They’ve found where she was held.”

Air suddenly fill your lungs and you feel light headed.

“Wha-?”

Alex’s voice is firmer this time as she comes down the last leg of the stairs. “They’ve found where she was held… one of the Amazon had a vision. That and the Prince’s kid device led them to where she was… we need to go. Now.”

You shake your head, clearing it, just to see Alex hopping on one foot as she put on her boots. “Was held? She’s not there anymore?” you ask as you hurry to pick up your gun from the safe under the kitchen island. You can see and feel how Renee is quickly gathering the last of the reports and you know that Kate disappeared in the gym to change into her Batwoman persona.

“… She’s not there…” Alex says, hesitating just a little bit. “… The place is empty. But they say it’s well lived in… they are leaving a handful of guards there to see if they come back as they expect them to.”

That makes sense… you guess… you don’t really want to get your hopes up, but that’s proving to be too difficult… way too difficult…

“Are they sure she was held there?” Renee’s crisp voice startles you out your mild panic.

“The readings are right, Ree… and they found her raccoon onesie in one of the rooms.”

“… Shit…” Renee’s single word response to that sums up what you’re thinking.

Shit indeed.

“What are we waiting for, ladies. Let’s go!” Kate comes from the gym, most of her costume on. She’s just missing the wig and the mask, but she’s ready to go and it shows on how she’s by the door in an instant, just like Kara gets when she wants to go to the park, _now._

You nod as Alex finally puts on her boots and does her pants. “Let’s go.”

You are about to reach for the doorknob when a loud crash sounds from upstairs.

The four of you freeze at that.

A second, smaller crash sounds, prompting you to whisk your arm out and to Renee to do the same. You don’t know where she had her gun hidden, but you are grateful you have two arms on your side.

Kate takes out two of her retractable bo-staves passing one to Alex, who, much to your surprise grabs it with confidence.

The four of you make a beeline to the stairs, moving silently and with purpose.

You and Renee walk with your guns ready, just a step in front your partners and you move quickly down the second floor’s corridor. A small groan catches your attention and you halt suddenly.

It’s coming from Kara’s room.

Renee holds eye contact with you for a second as she goes to stand on the right side of the closed door, Alex mimicking her on the left. You clutch your gun tightly as Kate inches forward, grabbing the doorknob as softly and silently as she can manage.

You wait for a beat then nod your head to Kate.

She turns the doorknob quickly and opens the door, prompting you to enter in a half run, Alex and Renee close to your heels, one on each side of you.

The sight that greets you, makes you stop suddenly and Alex nearly stumbles onto you.

The balcony window is open, the breeze making the deep blue curtains flutter into the room.

The moonlight illuminates the room softly, a path of light resting squarely on the bed.

Kara’s star-shaped bedside lamp is on the floor, shattered, no doubt knocked off by the intruder.

The bed, so pristine and with all of Kara’s stuffed toys lying in it is disturbed badly. The toys are on the ground and you know you will be washing plushies for a while. The duvet is crumpled and the pillows are in disarray.

On the floor, near the foot of the bed is a thin body.

Its hair dirty blonde.

Its form covered in a black one-piece suit.

It’s breathing labored.

You can barely see the face… her face.

Light suddenly bathes the room and you know either Kate or Renee turned it on… Alex is still breathing in your ear, pressed tightly to your back… too shocked to move.

She is a stranger, yes, but not the reason you are suddenly too scared to move.

No.

The reason you can’t propel your body anymore rests on the bed.

Hair sprawled on the messy pillow, body curled like a dormant baby, baby-blue eyes closed…

… Her chest still, too still, almost like a statue, way too pale, pale enough to see the veins under her skin…

… Her face free of bruises, you can’t see anything broken, anything hurt, there is no blood to be seen, there are no tear tracks on her cheeks, there is no sign of distress…

… Her always petite body, her willowy body, is thinner than ever before, her cheeks are hollow and her arms, visible in the sleeveless dress she’s wearing, are pure bone, too thin, too fragile…

… She’s still, too still…

 _~… Kara…~_ the body on the floor, the woman – no, the girl, she’s young, some baby fat still clings to her cheeks, even when she is almost as thin as your daughter – groans. _~… Kara… ~_

Kara, who is resting on her bed as if she had never left.

Kara, whose small body fits so perfectly in between her toys.

Kara, who all of you have been looking for five, long agonizing weeks.

Kara is home.

Kara is home.

Kara is finally _home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... That happened.
> 
> Also, I posted on Tumblr how this chapter was taking a while to be posted due internet mishaps... welp, we have a saying here that roughly translate to: "like an ill kid when they go to the doctor's". This basically means that an ill kid is often whining, crying and feeling bad, but the moment they go to the doctor they are suddenly really healthy, free of aches and totally ready to go away from the doctor's office. We say this saying when we complain about things and then they work out fine in the end.
> 
> So, yeah, that was my internet just now.
> 
> Either way!!!!
> 
> What do you think of this chapter? Who brought Kara back? Where was she in those five weeks?
> 
> Leave a comment!!!
> 
> Come yell at us!!!


	22. Taken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You remember little of what happened that night.  
> You remember hearing the workers the neighbour contracted start working again.
> 
> You remember hearing it and jostling awake, too befuddled and feeling awfully tired.
> 
> You remember burrowing in your covers, the duvet all the way over your head and your face smashed in the pillow.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where we see who took her. Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Girls, guys, people that are still reading this...
> 
> ... Here is it.
> 
> The chapter where this story goes beyond AU.
> 
> The chapter that either makes it or breaks it.
> 
> Shoutout to @reinakonanofate for being her lovely self and for being the one that helps me build this story more and more complex.
> 
> She's the mastermind behind the angst and I couldn't be prouder of her!!
> 
> Come yell at us on Tumblr at @reinakonanofate and @charis-chan!!!!

You remember little of what happened that night.

You remember hearing the workers the neighbour contracted start working again.

You remember hearing it and jostling awake, too befuddled and feeling awfully tired.

You remember burrowing in your covers, the duvet all the way over your head and your face smashed in the pillow.

You remember wanting to go see your mommies, plead them to make the noise stop.

You also remember thinking their room was louder and that you were comfortable in your room.

You remember closing your eyes and thinking that you should sleep a little more, that Mama and you were meeting the new tutor in a few hours.

You remember hearing noises again, closer this time.

You remember thinking it was Mama or Mom, checking on you like they do most of the time.

You remember feeling the bed dip with their weight, a hand coming to uncover your face.

You remember frowning at that. Mama and Mom never get close to you unless they want you to get out of your bed.

You remember thinking that maybe something happened and you needed to wake up properly.

After that, what you remember becomes foggy.

You remember pushing the covers off to face them.

You remember your startled yelp at the blonde stranger before you.

You remember calling your Mama, frightened.

You remember a sudden nick at your neck.

You remember feeling your body fall.

You remember darkness.

XxXxX

 _~Do you think she will be fine?~_ you hear a shaky voice say. _~She’s been out cold for days now… Did we mess up?~_

_~Don’t worry, Little One. She will be fine. The Kryptonite we used is not that strong.~_

_~But-~_

_~Fear not. She will be fine. She is young, it will take her some time to eliminate the kryptonite shot out of her body.~_

Your body is heavy and your eyes won’t open, but you can hear the voices and those are voices you don’t know.

You can feel your heart beat slowly and you can feel your eyes water behind your eyelids.

You can also feel that ball of pain growing in your chest, but at least, you can also feel the fogginess in your brain dissipate little by little.

Your Mommy told you that if anything happened and you found yourself in a place you don’t know, you need to ‘assert’ the situation… she said to listen to the sounds around you, she said to try to find hers or Mama’s heartbeat.

Their heartbeats are comforting, are familiar… but you can’t hear them.

A constant hum and those unknown voices are the only things you are able to hear.

_~I think she is waking up.~_

You feel something cold touch your cheek and you flinch away as far and fast as you can. Your body is still giving you trouble and you fall on the hard floor.

It hurts.

It actually hurts where you landed.

Tears start pouring down your cheeks then as you open your eyes to see whoever this person is. “I want my Mama,” you tell her, trying you hardest not to let your voice waver.

Mommy said not to show weakness in front of others when you are on your own. Mama said that you need to look around and try to see where you are. Mommy said not to say names, or addresses, or even telephone numbers when you don’t know the people before you.

Mama said to breathe. To always try to breathe. To always try to keep calm.

You know you can’t panic, not now, no matter how much you want to. You need to calm yourself, you need to make a run for it.

You need to find your mommies.

Mommy says it was okay to use your powers to run, no matter where you are. Problem is, you still can’t move your body that much.

A girl sitting on the bed above you frowns. _~What is wrong with you?~_

This girl speaks Kryptonian.

You look up at her, eyes wide.

This girl speaks Kryptonian. Or something really similar to it. You can understand almost everything she is saying, you know what she is saying, even if you don’t really grasp the words.

Only Mama, Mommy, Aunties Kate and Renee and Kal-El speak Kryptonian. Why is this girl speaking a language that your Mama says is dead?

 _~Kortni,~_ another voice chimes in and you look to the side to see a tall woman by the doorway. _~Give her space.~_

Mommy said to look for any exits if you were trapped somewhere.

You use the movement to see exactly where you are.

The room is small and made out of metal. It’s dark. There are no windows and the only way in or out seems to be the door this woman is blocking. There is a small bed, smaller than the one you have back home and the girl, Kortni, sits there, looking down at you, her frown deepening.

_~Yes, General.~_

The woman nodded stoically, before turning to you. Your tears are still running, and you bite your lip to stop from whimpering at how her eyes burn into yours. “I want my Mommy,” you tell her.

Mama said never to speak Kryptonian outside the family. Mommy said to never speak it where others can hear. Mama said to never speak anything other than English when in doubt, to never switch between languages, even if she is teaching you French, German and Spanish… even when Claire was always talking to you in Portuguese.

So, even if you understand, you keep asking in English.

The woman frowns, switching her gaze between the girl and you.

_~Speak your mother tongue, child.~_

You frown at that.

You are speaking your mother tongue.

“I want my Mama,” you repeat and pause, “please.” Perhaps if you are polite it will help you get what you want and that’s being by your mommies’ side once again.

The girl on the bed groans, making you jump and scoot farther away from them. _~I can’t understand her!~_ she says as she combs her blonde hair away from her face. You can hear the frustration in her voice, the same kind of whine that Mama has when she wants to sleep more.

Mama. Mommy. Where are they, you wonder.

“Where’s my Mama?” you ask them. “Where’s my Mommy?” Then, something dawns on you. “Did you hurt them?!”

The woman blinks at you, showing for a fraction of a second surprise at you. You can feel warmness in your eyes and you close them, knowing they are glowing.

“No, no, no, no, no,” you mumble, bringing your hands to cover your eyes.

Mama and Mommy are not here, they can’t keep you from the mean men if you start showing signs that you are different.

You can hear footsteps, and you scramble backwards as best as you can, hitting the wall and hurting your back.

Why does everything have to hurt?!

_~Easy, Little Sun. Breathe.~_

You refuse to open your eyes. Mama said to breathe too. When you feel the hotness around your eyes, when your eyes start to prickle and the colors start to blur into greys. She said to breathe when you feel your feet float over the ground, when you can’t control your body’s gravity and it starts hovering.

So. You breathe.

You breathe as you Mama taught you.

In. Count to eight. Out. Count to four. In. Count to eight. Out. Count to four. In. Count to eight. Out. Count to four.

The heat recedes and you open your eyes to see the woman crouching by you, her hand inches away from your feet. She is regarding you with somber eyes and you pull your knees to your chest, pulling your feet farther away from her. “Please, I want my Mama,” you tell her again. “Please.”

The woman sighs as she stands. _~It’s useless, Kortni,~_ she says as she turns her back to you. Mommy said never to give your back to a threat… Does that mean you are not a threat to her? _~She doesn’t know the language.~_

_~Kal-El knows it!~_

The mention of your cousin confuses you, but neither of them are looking at you to see that through the silent tears you’re frowning.

 _~Kal-El also told us she was dead.~_ The way she says it, all cold fury and deadly power, makes you shiver as you embrace your knees and hide your face in your arms. This woman is scary and you really want your mommies. _~Come. Let’s give her space. She will open up to us sooner or later.~_

_~But-~_

_~Kortni.~_ Her voice is not a shout, but its sharp and thunderous. And frightening, too frightening. You can’t help but flinch at her voice, a hand going to your mouth, rubbing your bottom lip, face still hidden, your other hand searching for your gemstone under your clothes.

In. Count to eight. Out. Count to four. In. Count to eight. Out. Count to four. In. Count to eight. Out. Count to four.

You clench the unbreakable stone in your hand. You’ve never taken it off, at least not that you remember. Mama told you once she tried to take it off so it wouldn’t get wet when she gave you your first bath, back when you were little and asked about the gemstone for the first time.

You can hear the door closing and you strain to hear their footsteps fading, but there are none. You look up and see them gone, but the uneasiness is still there, so you start rubbing your gemstone with much more force.

Ever since you remember the gemstone has always been there. Mama said you came with it to Earth. That those first weeks the only thing that could entertain you was seeing yourself in the mirror for hours, listen to her stories and playing with the gemstone.

Mama made one similar to it when the town started talking about it, she told you because she wanted you to be able to keep it because she didn’t want Eliza or Jeremiah taking it away.

She did it to protect you.

You whimper.

You want Mama to come pick you up, to come to protect you.

You want Mommy to come punch this woman and this girl, to come and keep them away.

You are on your own now, though. You need to find a way out so you can look for them.

You need to find a way to call them, to ask for help.

Just like Mommy taught you.

You need to stay calm, you need to stay focused.

You need to breathe and control your powers.

Just like Mama taught you.

You can do this. You can do this.

You can prove to them you are not a little kid anymore that you too can help.

That you too can rescue yourself.

That you too are a hero.

XxXxX

The door opens again after a while.

You tried to do as Mommy said and tried the door to see if it would open.

It does, and you ventured out a long, bare hallway that looked like it was infinitive.

You went back into the room when you started feeling that oppressing pressure in your chest and your breathing started failing you again.

You know you are not locked up, but you don’t want to know what really lies outside the room.

 _~Here’s some food,~_ the girl says as she approaches you.

You are sitting by the bed’s headboard, hugging your knees to your chest again, wondering what is taking your mommies this long to come and get you. You know you are not a patient person, Mama has said so many times, but why can’t they come?

You shiver.

It’s cold, you noticed shortly after your captors left you.

It’s cold and that bothers you. You can’t really feel the cold, but hot temperatures annoy you. Mama says you are like a furnace and that’s why you like the cold better because you can’t really feel it.

Here, though, it’s cold. And you feel it strange to have your arms grow goosebumps and your feet feel icy… even when you are still wearing the thick raccoon onesie that Auntie Kate got you as ‘see you soon’ gift.

The girl places a tray near your feet and you are grateful that she isn’t trying to touch you again.

She sits at the end of the bed, as far away from you as she can manage. And stares.

And stares.

And stares.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” you ask her when she doesn’t say anything… after just a minute of silence. Mama’s right, you are indeed impatient.

 _~You can’t understand me, can you?~_ Her defeated tone reminds you of how Mama sounds after another failed experiment. Of how Mommy sounded when she went to the Academy and got home with news of another street kid killed, another woman beaten, another injustice happening.

You look at her now.

Really look at her.

The woman said her name is Kortni.

Kortni has blonde, straight hair with no bangs. Her eyes are a deep blue and you notice with surprise that they look red… like if she has been crying.

She is taller than you and you guess she is also older than you. She is wearing a one-piece suit, just like that woman, and you can see that she is definitely more developed than you.

But, still, she looks young.

She looks as young as your schoolmates back at Nathan Cook’s Middle School.

Young enough that you wonder why she’s here, helping this woman.

Is it safe to think that she was taken as well?

You gulp and shift. What you are about to do will go against your Mommy’s instructions, but there is a chance Kortni is in trouble too and you want to help.

You _need_ to help.

 _~I understand you,~_ you tell her softly.

Kortni’s eyes widen at your words. _~You…~_

You shift again, uncomfortably. The Kryptonian she speaks is off and, while you can understand it, has a lit and a softness that you are not used to. It’s different from what Mama taught you to speak but similar enough that you know what she means, what she’s saying. But, it’ll have to do. You need to talk to her, know if she is okay. _~Are you in trouble too?~_

 _~What?~_ She looks at you, her fair skin paling and you wonder if you made a mistake, speaking Kryptonian.

_~Did the bad lady stole you too?~_

Kortni stares at you and you realize that, yes, you made a mistake when she stiffens and glares. _~General In-Ze didn’t steal me. She didn’t steal you. She brought you home.~_  

You frown at that. The only General you have met is General Lane, Lois’ daddy, and you think that maybe being a General isn’t that good after all as Mommy wanted you to think. But, what really makes you upset is what she said at the very last.

 _~I’m not home,~_ you tell her and you are proud that you are not crying again. _~Mama is not here. This is not home. I want home.~_

And maybe National City is not home yet, but that’s where Mama and Mommy are and so that’s where you want to be.

That will be home at some point and you need to be there for it to become home.

 _~Mama?~_ Kortni asks you and you see a little anger start sweeping into her.

It doesn’t help that her eyes are glowing just a tiny bit.

You nod. You can’t take back that you have said Kryptonian, that you have disobeyed Mama, but you can at least now beg them in a language they understand. _~Please, can you take me home? I want my Mommy, please.~_

Kortni’s eyes start to glow with greater intensity and you know somehow begging won’t help you out this mess. _~You don’t have a mother,~_ she tells you coldly as she stands from the bed. She goes to the door, angry.

Her words bite and you can now feel the tears at the corner of your eyes. _~Oh, I know that!~_ you snap, startling her. _~I have two mothers! And they love me! And I want them!~_

She looks back at you, a petty frown on her face. _~Those two aren’t your mothers! Mother is gone! She died on Krypton! Or don’t you remember? Didn’t they tell you how she died?~_

You cover your ears and close your eyes when she starts shouting. It’s too loud. Too, too, loud. Mama never shouts, Mommy never shouts, why is she shouting?

Why?

 _~Eat your food,~_ she orders you coldly and you hear the door slam close and you jump frightened.

In. Count to eight. Out. Count to four. In. Count to eight. Out. Count to four. In. Count to eight. Out. Count to four.

Breathe.

In. Count to eight. Out. Count to four. In. Count to eight. Out. Count to four. In. Count to eight. Out. Count to four.

Mommy and Mama are coming.

They are coming.

You just need to hang on.

Just a little more.

Just hang on.

XxXxX

_~You didn’t eat.~_

The voice startles you.

You have been dozing in the corner you found between the bed at the wall.

After Kortni left, you wedged yourself there to try and calm down. Tiny spaces sometimes feel nice.

Tiny spaces like you Mama’s arms or your Mommy’s lap.

Tiny spaces ground you most times, like when you have a nightmare or can’t sleep and lie in between your mommies. The side of the bed and the wall reminds you of the safety of feeling their chests against your front and back.

But now, the lady is here and you don’t know what to do.

 _~Little Sun,~_ she calls you as she sits on the spot Kortni used not so long ago. The name ranks something in your brain. You know your name translates as ‘sunrise’ but no one calls you little sun and that bothers you. Mama’s nickname for you is baby, has always been baby, and Mommy started calling you sunshine not long after you met her. _~Why won’t you eat?~_

You know that Kortni has told her that you understand them, so you don’t bother pretending anymore. You are hungry, but, _~Mama said not to eat anything I didn’t see being prepared… Mommy said not to eat anything if offered by a stranger.~_

The woman smiles softly. Sadly. _~Your mothers sound like really intelligent people.~_

You nod. _~They will come for me soon, too…~_

The woman shakes her head. _~They can’t find you here, Little Sun.~_

The way she says the name is weird, but you can’t put a finger on _why_ you feel like it, she’s waiting for something.

She sounds like Mama when she says your name when you forget to say ‘thank you’.

Is this woman really wanting for you to thank her?

You don’t think so. You are not thanking her for anything.

 _~I want them,~_ you tell her softly, looking up into her grey eyes. There’s something familiar with the color, but you don’t want to think too much about it. _~If they can’t find me, can you please take me to them~_

 _~I’m sorry, Little Sun.~_ There’s that tone again. _~But you are home now and you can’t be with those women anymore.~_

You want to yell, you want to kick your feet. But Mommy says yelling and kicking won’t lead to anything. So, you pout. _~This is not home,~_ you inform her. _~My mommies are not here.~_

The woman sigh. _~Kara.~_ How is it that they know your name? _~Do you know who you are?~_

Yes. Yes you do. So, you nod.

_~Can you tell me your full name, please?~_

You look at her with a frown. She knows your name and Mommy told you not to give strangers any information they already don’t know. Scammers are all around, she said, and they don’t need their work cut for them.

You shake your head.

The woman sighs again. _~I promise you, nothing bad will happen. I just need to know your name.~_

You bite your bottom lip nervously. Maybe if you comply she will be more open to take you to your moms? “Kara Álainn Danvers-Sawyer,” you tell her.

The woman sad smile is back. _~But that’s not your real name, is it?~_

You tilt your head to the side, thinking. Mama said this was your new name and that you will keep it for a long while, at least until you are old enough to marry and then if you so choose, you can change it just like Mama and Mommy did. But, still, this is your real name now, no? _~I was Kara Danvers, before,~_ you inform her. _~But not since Mama and Mommy married. I’m Kara Danvers-Sawyer, now.~_

The woman looks ahead, not seeing you when she asks her next question. _~Does the name El means anything to you?~_

You try to hide your gasp, you truly do, but by the way the woman is looking at you again, you know you failed.

_~It does mean something for you.~_

You squeeze your gemstone in your hand, you haven’t even noticed you were playing with it the whole time, and its smoothness and ever present coldness calms you.

This woman speaks Kryptonian. The girl, Kortni, has laser eyes, just like Kal. You didn’t hear them leave the first time, you didn’t hear Kortni come to bring you the food and you didn’t hear the general coming in either.

It’s almost as if they were floating instead of walking.

Just like you.

These people are Kryptonian… maybe telling them stuff will them to see that you need to be with your moms?

 _~Yes,~_ you tell her. _~… Mama knows Superman. He’s from the Kryptonian House of El.~_ You know to never reveal Kal’s human identity, nor your connection to him, but this woman knows you know _something_ and this is the least dangerous information you can part with.

The woman smiles at that, but you can see the sadness in her eyes grow even more. _~Is that the only thing your Mama told you?~_

You fidget a little bit more, not knowing what to say. You could lie and say no, but Mommy says you wear your heart on your sleeve and that you are a terrible liar. You are good at sneaking around your mommies, but you are really bad when confronted directly.

So, you shrug.

She looks at you intensely and you fidget some more. _~Does the name Zor-El means anything to you?~_

You shake your head again. There is no way you are telling this lady that’s the name of your Kryptonian father.

 _~It should,~_ she tells you, her tone soft and so out of place with how she was talking to you, not five minutes ago. ~ _Zor-El gave you his name, Little Sun.~_

You know you have to react to that information, but really, you don’t know how. You knew you have known for years and on every Rao’s Name Day you send a prayer for him and your Kryptonian mother, Alura, to wait for you. To be with Rao and to keep you and yours safe and happy.

You know it took you too long to react when she keeps talking, another small smile gracing her lips. _~You already knew, Little Sun,~_ she points out. _~Do you know the name of your mother?~_

“Alexandra Sawyer.”

She shakes her head. _~Try again?~_

“Maggie Danvers.”

She snorts as her smile briefly reaches her eyes. _~You are clever, Little Sun,~_ she says wistfully. _~The women you call mothers taught you well. But no, I was asking about your birth mother, Little Sun, do you know her name?~_

You could keep lying, you could keep shaking your head and let her make her own answers, but there is something in her eyes that seem to tell you that giving her the right answer might make her smiles reach her eyes again.

And, for some strange reason, you want her smiles to reach her eyes again.

_~Alura.~_

Her smile reaches her eyes, just like you wanted. _~That’s right, Little Sun.~_ She pauses for a second. _~Do you remember anything of her?~_

This time you are not lying when you say, _~no.~_ Mama knows your parents’ names and Kal once mentioned your uncle and aunt’s name, but you have no idea how she looked like or what her full name was.

Mama says on Krypton females used their fathers’ names as their second names, making you Kara Zor-El, but that they didn’t change their names when they were bonded. So, you don’t know what’s your Kryptonian mother’s full name.

You frown, peering into grey, sad eyes. _~Do **you** know her full name? Do you know what she looked like?~ _ you ask out of sheer curiosity. You don’t think about them often. You know who they were, but you they are not in your mind as constantly as other things.

Mommy bought you the Harry Potter series as part of your Christmas presents and you were so confused when Harry kept missing his mom, so, you asked Mommy about it. How can Harry miss his mom when he couldn’t remember her? Why don’t you miss your Kryptonian parents? You can’t remember them either.

Mommy told you that sometimes people miss what they don’t know because they wish they could have it. Harry didn’t know his mother and father, but also never got to know what being loved by a mother or father was.

She didn’t need to explain to you that you don’t miss your Kryptonian parents because you knew what a loving mother is as you grew up.

Mama made sure of it.

So, no. You don’t remember them. You don’t miss them. And you don’t feel guilty about it anymore.

The woman looks at you and your eyes feel like they are peering into your soul.

You fidget yet again.

 _~Her name was Alura In-Ze. She looked like me.~_ she pauses for a moment, her eyes drifting away, and focusing on the doorway. _~She was my twin sister… I’m your aunt.~_

Your eyes widen and suddenly this woman seems less scary and a lot more intriguing. You already have aunts. Amazing aunts, and you are happy with having just them as aunts. This woman’s claim startles you.

But.

You frown. _~Krypton is dead,~_ you say. Even Kortni said so before when she was being loud and mean. _~Mama says only Kal and I survived… how are you my aunt?~_

You hear movement and you look at the doorway too, where Kortni is standing, just shy of entering the room. _~General In-Ze and I were on a mission far away from home,~_ she tells you somberly _. ~We were going home when…~_ Her voice trails off as she closes her eyes briefly. _~We got close enough to see it explode… we could see your pod as it_ _travelled_ _through space.~_

Something shifted in her tone, she doesn’t sound as she did before. You cannot tell if she is sad, angry, disappointed or all of those. You wish you could read people like Mommy does, but you can’t and you are left wondering what exactly is she feeling.

 _~I’m sorry,~_ you tell her honestly.

She startles and looks at you, her brow furrowed. _~What?~_

 _~I’m sorry your home is gone,~_ you specify because you are truly sorry. You can’t imagine life without your mommies. _~I’m sorry you are alone now.~_

Her blue eyes start to moisten. She nods, jerkily, once, but she doesn’t start crying or anything.

 _~Do you remember anything?_ ~ the woman, your aunt, asks you. _~Anything about Krypton?~_

 _~No,~_ you answer her and somehow you feel disappointed with your own answer. _~I’m sorry.~_

 _~Kori,~_ Kortni says suddenly. _~Do you remember Kori?~_

You shake your head yet again and for some strange reason, you feel like crying too when her tears start running down her cheeks. _~I’m sorry.~_

She nods once and turns to leave.

 _~Little One, wait,~_ your aunt calls, but Kortni doesn’t answer. She simply floats away, prompting a sigh from your aunt.

 _~I’m sorry,~_ your repeat. _~I didn’t mean to make her cry.~_

She closes her eyes. _~It’s not your fault, Little Sun, you were too young back then… it’s unfair for her to think that you would remember.~_

 _~… What’s Kori?~_ That’s a word you don’t know, and Mama taught you plenty of Kryptonian words, so you are confused. Is that some kind of place or thing you don’t know about.

Your aunt opens her eyes, but she keeps them on the doorway. _~She is Kori,~_ she tells you simply. _~That’s what you used to call her, back at home.~_

Your brow crinkles at that. _~I did?~_ If someone forgot all about you, you would be pretty upset too, you think. Now you feel more like crying than before. _~Why?~_

_~You couldn’t say Kortni, Little Sun, so you called her Kori.~_

Again, _~why? Were we friends?~_ It would be awful if Devon or Claire or Lola or any of your Mama’s ducklings forgot about you. _~Why can’t I remember her?~_

_~You were too young, so it doesn’t surprise me you can’t remember her. You can’t remember your parents, can you?~_

_~No.~_

_~Then it’s no surprise you can’t remember your sister either.~_

XxXxX

Your aunt, Astra, finally introduced herself, when you were too shocked to say anything after she informed you that you have a sister, and left shortly after dropping that bomb on you.

You have a sister, a blood-related sister.

You have an aunt, a blood-related one.

Part of you feels happy that more of your family managed to survive Krypton’s death.

Part of you still doesn’t believe what she said.

Part of you is sad they lost their family in such a cruel way. You don’t remember them, but they certainly do.

Part of you simply wants Mommy to come rescue you, part of you wants Mama to come and hug you.

When you were little Mama was your sister, but she never was your sister… was she?

She took care of you, loved you, taught you. She didn’t act like what you think, like you thought, a sister should. But, she didn’t act like a mother either. She wasn’t like Eliza, that’s for sure.

She loved you and you loved her, and back then that was enough.

Labels weren’t as important.

Mama being near was.

You want Mama, more than anything, right now.

So, you do as Mommy told you, and ventured out the room when it was obvious your aunt Astra or your sister, Kortni, weren’t going to be back.

You need to know where you are and if you can make your big escape.

No matter what they told you.

This is not home, no matter how often they insist it is.

They are not really family, no matter that you are indeed bonded by blood.

Kal is family, blood family, and he is awful and he doesn’t love you.

There is nothing that says these two aren’t like him.

So, you go out and get lost.

The hallway your room is in is long and colder than what you are used to. You checked the room’s closet, looking for something to wear, but it was empty save for what looked like a white dress and some more blankets.

You took one of those with you, tying it around your neck as a long cape to help with the cold.

And maybe to feel a little safer.

Kal wears a cape. Auntie Kate wears a cape. Even Batman wears a cape.

Yup, your cape makes you feel a little safer.

So, you take a deep breath and chose a direction to walk. Right sounds good. Yeah, right is good.

The hallway is not as long as you remember the first time you saw it, it’s not infinite, but it’s long enough you feel like an eternity passed before you reach its end. When you do, though, you find yourself utterly confused.

What you thought was a wall is a huge window. The whole wall is a window. A grey window that, upon further inspection is not really grey, but rather, it’s snowing outside.

Midvale was a coastal, sunny town. You never knew snow when you were little until Mama started taking you to fly to the mountains. Later, when you and Mama moved to Gotham, the only thing you saw for weeks was snow. Dirty, foggy and lumpy snow. Not like the one you are seeing right now, white, soft and weightless, but even so it’s similar. Similar enough that you can gather it’s snowing heavily, different enough to know you are far from a city.

The snow is cleaner than you are used to even when the sky looks too dark. The snow is the only thing you can see it’s allowing some light in.

Like the snow on those mountains Mama took you to.

Not like the snow that fell on Gotham.

You know why it’s cold now, at least, even when you never really felt the snow before either.

This new hallway, all window on one side, is longer than the other one and it also gives you the idea that, yes, this one is infinite. You encounter other hallways that veer off the one you are walking, but you can’t find anything _on_ it. No doors, no stairs, nothing… only the window and the heavy snowing.

You strain your ears, but there’s not a sound that you can hear.

When you feel you have walked for a long while, you stop at the next hallway and venture into it.

This one is similar to the one your room is and you wonder for a moment if you didn’t come full back until you notice that this hallway has a ladder attached to the wall. Looking up you notice for the first time that the ceiling is higher than you first thought… or maybe it’s just this hallway the one with practically no ceiling you can look at… it’s too dark and the ladder gets lost in the blackness some feet up.

You gulp.

Do you really want to try to climb that?

A loud, startling noise comes from somewhere around you and that makes up your mind for you.

You grab the first bar and start climbing as fast as you dare. You have never been fond of complete darkness, but you are far from scared of it. Mama says that’s because your eyes are like a cat’s ones, letting you see clearly even if you have just the faintest of light. Mama says you have never been fond of light neither, needing to have the room with as little light as possible to be able to sleep (again, she says that’s cause you have cat eyes), but that doesn’t mean that you would willingly head into the unknown … Most of the time.

Mommy also says that you are like a cat with how curious you are, not minding if you are doing something dangerous. Most of the time, you are wary and reserved, you don’t like changes and you really don’t like new people, but once you are comfortable you are more than happy to start probing and asking questions.

When you go back to your mommies, you are going to ask them for a cat, to see how much truly you are alike.

Reaching the top of the ladder takes little to no time. It’s dark, yes, but it’s not too dark now that you are on top that you can’t see. You scrunch your nose at how you are now at another hallway.

Really? What’s with all these strange, barren hallways?

At least now you know you can only move in one direction, as the ladder is just where the hallway ends.

So, you walk.

You tried floating a little while ago, when your bare feet started getting a little too cold, but for whatever reason, you could only hover an inch off the ground. Trying to float felt like when you used Eliza’s dampener for too long and then tried to do something with your powers afterward.

You refused to panic about that.

You still refuse to panic about that.

The hallway is short this time and it leads you to what you have seen only two times in your life: one, when Mommy made you and Mama marathon the whole of Star Wars (you liked Anakin better, much to your Mommy’s concern); and two when you were at the DEO.

This is what Mama called a control room, a place where all the decisions happen and where, in the movies, the rebellion discussed how to overthrow the empire.

The place is big, not huge like the control room at the DEO, but big and strange. There’s a table in the center, with what looks like those holograms your Mama rants about often. There’s also a board that you _know_ has Kryptonian writings on it. Mama knows how to write and read Kryptonian, and you know the basics, but that writing is beyond your knowledge.

There’s another huge window here, huge as the room itself, and now you see that the whole place is made up of metal, hallways and windows. There’s also some seats at the front of the room, facing the window and you get the feeling that you are on some kind of ship… You are looking at what looks remarkably like the insides of Jumba’s ship, but bigger.

Where are you?

_~What are you doing here?~_

The voice startles you and you jump a little. Kortni is sitting on one of those chairs and she swivels it to face you. Her eyes are red and puffy and you feel a pang on your chest.

You wish you had Krypto with you right now.

Kortni looks like she needs to hug him.

 _~I’m sorry,~_ you say. _~I got a little lost.~_   Yes, you got lost. Trying to find a way out of here, you got lost deeper into this place.

She sniffs and you frown, was she crying right now?

 _~General In-Ze said you can go wherever you want,~_ she informs you with a careless shrug.

You bite your bottom lip, hand going to your gemstone, debating if you want to stay or if you want to flee and look for the exit.

If you are right and this is a ship of some kind… you really have no idea what the exit door looks like.

 _~Do you need anything?~_ Kortni asks you when it’s evident you don’t know what to do now.

Well. You need to find the way out, but you don’t think she is going to help you with that.

You shake your head and she rewards you with a raised eyebrow. Now that you see her in with the barely any light that comes from the window, you see that she looks like your so-called aunt… and that she looks like you too, a little.

Looking at her with new eyes, you can see that her hair is almost as blond as yours and that her eyes are the same shade as yours. She is taller, that’s for sure, but Mama says you still have some years to grow and you are comfortable with your shortness… It makes it easier for Mama and Mommy to carry you and that’s the only thing that really matters to you. Kortni is taller than you, then, most people are, but she is also a little shorter than Mommy and clearly not as tall as… aunt Astra.

_~Then why are you here?~_

_~I got lost.~_

_~Looking for what?~_

Now, you can’t tell her that you were looking for a way to leave, can you? You can’t lie, so you simply shrug.

Kortni regards you with narrowed eyes and you fidget under her glare. _~Did you eat the food?~_

You scrunch up your nose at that. The ‘food’ that they offered you was something akin to uncooked oatmeal. It was a paste that smelt bland, looked bland and no doubt tasted bland. But, _~Mommy said not to eat anything a stranger offered me.~_

Kortni’s cheeks flush red in an instant and you know you said the wrong thing… she looks like Mike did when he hurt you… she is angry.

 _~Your mother is dead,~_ she tells you quietly, but her voice resonates in the room, making you shiver. _~And we are no strangers.~_

Oh.

You blink.

You think you understand now why she’s angry at you… maybe.

 _~I’m sorry.~_ It feels like you have been apologizing too much lately. _~I’m sorry your mom’s dead… and your dad… but… but they are not my parents. Not really. Mama and Mommy are. Mama has been taking care of me since I can remember… I’m sorry I can’t_ _honour_ _your parents… our parents, like you want. Like they deserve. But, they are not mine. Not like they are yours.~_

Kortni stares at you and you see with a little panic how her eyes start to mist again. Did you say the wrong thing again?

 _~You are wise beyond your years,~_ she tells you.

You crinkle your brow at that. _~I’m not a baby anymore.~_

Mommy likes to tease you, tell you that you are still a baby, but you know that’s not the case. Mama may call you baby all the time, and that’s fine, you are Mama’s baby, but that doesn’t mean you are an actual baby.

Kortni scoffs and you smile at how she looks and sound like Mama when she’s amused at something silly. _~No, you are not…~_ she looks at you, searching for something. _~How many Name Days have you celebrated?~_

The question startles you a little. There are many things that don’t add up and this is one of them… how come she doesn’t know?

Aunt Astra, you are forcing yourself to think of her like an aunt, Mama says you need to be polite to your elders… Aunt Astra said you couldn’t remember them because you were so little when you escaped Krypton… Kortni doesn’t look a day older than you. How old was _she_?

 _~Eleven,~_ you inform her. _~And you?~_

_~Fourteen, I think.~_

That makes you frown again. _~You think?~_

She looks to the window again, and you notice the little light that was there a moment ago is now gone. The snow is still falling, though, and you wonder where you are. _~Time is different here… I’m not sure when my Name Day is anymore.~_

 _~How old were you when…~_ Kortni looks back at you an eyebrow raised. _~… when, you know…~_

Understanding dawns on her and she looks back at the window. _~I was twelve when home exploded.~_

You see how her hands form into fists and you feel awful for making her remember, but still, things don’t add up. _~Then how come you are fourteen?~_

 _~We were trapped in a place where no time passes.~_ Astra’s voice makes you jump and you wonder how long she’s been listening to your talk. You startle again when Kortni practically jumps from her seat, standing at attention. _~When we were returning home, Krypton’s explosion made our ship lose its course and we were trapped for years.~_

 _~The Phantom Zone.~_ The name falls easily from your lips and you are proud you managed to surprise them both. _~Mama said I was trapped in there for a long time too, longer than Kal.~_

Aunt Astra blinks at you before a little smirk makes its way to her face. _~Your mother told you that?~_

You see Kortni stiffen at the question, but you answer her just the same. _~Mama said I slept in there for a long while, that’s why Kal is so much older than me now and why he is so mean sometimes. She says he got to see Krypton die and that that makes him sad.~_

Aunt Astra’s eyes lose some of her shine at your words and you know that you’ve said the wrong thing yet again. She sighs, however, and doesn’t comment on that. _~It’s late, Little Sun,~_ she informs you. _~And you have had some rough days. Let’s get you to bed, okay? You need your rest.~_ She looks at Kortni too, for a second. _~You both do.~_

You frown at that.

Mama is not here to read to you and Mommy is not here to give you warm milk if you need it. But, you won’t lie to yourself. You are very tired and you feel your body too muted to try to look for an exit right now.

You don’t think these two women will hurt you or make you feel bad. So far, they have respected your space and they have given you a chance to meander around without berating you. Maybe Kortni is a little harsh and loud, and maybe Aunt Astra is too formal and very patient, but you don’t get any off vibes from them.

Mommy said that following your gut in cases like this was a good idea.

Your gut is telling you to go sleep now and to try again tomorrow.

To go rest and sleep off the aches and the strange feeling of helplessness.

So, you nod and led your aunt guide you back to the room you were previously.

The route she follows is shorter than the one you found, but you are strangely glad to find yourself near a bed.

You really feel tired.

_~Sleep well, Little Sun. We will talk to you more in the morning.~_

You nod and turn to the bed as she turns to leave.

_~May his light greets you in the morrow.~_

_~What?~_

That simple, low and gravel word makes your brain reboot again and you pause your climbing in the bed.

You are really tired after the long day and being tired makes your mouth run without your brain’s consent. Did you say something wrong? You don’t know, so you turn to her and ask just that.

_~Did I say something wrong?~_

She regards you with an eyebrow raised. _~You said, ‘may his light greets you in the morrow.’~_

It’s your turn to be confused. _~Yes?~_

_~You invoked Rao?~_

You don’t understand it. Not in the least. What does Rao have to do with all of this? _~Yes.~_ You pause, wondering. _~I shouldn’t have?~_ you ask her, a thought crossing your mind. _~I’m sorry! Mama says I need to check what I say, to never impose my beliefs on others and I didn’t think right now and I didn’t ask if Rao, in his lightness and love, is something I shouldn’t name and now I said it again and I didn’t think to ask I’m sorry I’m sleepy and I don’t think well when I feel tired and sleepy and now I’m rambling and Mommy says I don’t make sense when I ramble an- ~_

A raised hand makes you shut up and you gulp.

Were you going to be struck now for your insolence?

You must have shown your fear because your aunt is suddenly kneeling by you, shushing you, but no touching you.

You are grateful for that.

_~No, no, no, Little Sun… you did nothing wrong… you just surprised me. I didn’t think you would believe in Rao and his light.~_

_~My Mama taught me… since I was little, to honor him and those with him…~_ you don’t know why are you telling her that. You don’t know why you nod hesitantly when she reaches for you and you let her touch your cheek with the tip of her fingers.

Maybe it is because, for the first time since you came here, she looks other than sad or utterly calm. She is looking at you with a shine in her eyes that you have only seen in your Mama’s and Mommy’s eyes when they look at you when you do something they really love on when they look at each other when the other is not looking.

Adoration? You think that’s what Auntie Renee called it when you once asked her.

She strokes your cheek ever so softly. Her fingers are warm against your chilled skin and you can’t help, but close your eyes midway at the gesture. You can feel her fingers trembling, hesitating when she starts speaking again.

 _~ Rao, guide me in the darkness,~_ she lets the last words hang in the air and you blink up at her, confused for a second. Why isn’t she finishing the prayer?

You blink again.

Oh.

 _~Rao, guide me in the darkness,~_ you repeat, softly just like Mama taught you, closing your eyes and really elevating the words to him. Even if he is gone, if his body is gone, he is with you in spirit. Mama says that the only way you could have survived Krypton’s death and the only way you could have found Mama after so many years trapped in the Phantom Zone was because Rao looked over for you. You are a miracle and Rao is the only one that could have made it so.

_~Let the light of your love brighten my way. Help me understand my place. Help me face the dangers ahead. Help me know myself. Allow me to serve you. Allow me to love you. Allow me to be yours._

_~For days past, for the now, for those to come. Bless my homeland. Bless my loves ones. Bless my soul and give me faith._

_~Rao, let us reunite, let us be one again.~_ Aunt Astra says in a whisper along beside you and you open your eyes to see the tears streaming down her cheeks.

You reach out for her too, touching the corner of her eyes. _~Why are you crying?~_ You can’t understand. Talking to Rao, elevating your prayers to him, always makes you at ease, calm. Why is she crying?

She smiles. _~Because I never thought a daughter of Krypton raised on Earth could know of him… could honor him.~_

You smile too then, proud of your heritage and proud of what your Mama raised you to be. _~Mama taught me… said Rao was the reason I survived so it was only right for us to honor him daily. For us to remember him and the ones with him.~_

You can see the surprise in her eyes, but she keeps smiling and crying at the same time. At least you know for sure that those are not sad tears. Not like Kortni’s. _~Do you and your mothers honor him daily?~_

You shake your head. _~Mama and I do. Mommy’s still learning. She joins us sometimes, but Mama’s the one that always accompanies me.~_

_~I’m glad that your… Mama… let you be close to Rao.~_

_~Why wouldn’t she?~_ you ask truly confused. As long as you can remember, Mama’s always trying to teach you about your roots, about your past and heritage.

However, Aunt Astra just smiles and strokes your cheek some more.

She doesn’t say anything further and you decide that she is not so bad.

But, still, you are getting out of here.

You belong home. With Mama and Mommy.

Maybe Kortni and Aunt Astra can visit sometime.

But you need to go home.

You need to.

XxXxX

Time in here passes differently than you are used to.

There’s little light, both artificial and natural.

The snow doesn’t stop and the darkness that comes with the storms is constant and overwhelming sometimes.

You sleep a lot, which tells you that there is something wrong with you… you only sleep this much when something wrong with your body. You haven’t eaten anything yet, and you won’t start doing so anytime soon.

Mommy’s warning still makes you wary of the food that’s presented to you… if what they give you counts as food.

… If they offered you something close to an apple or an orange or even a piece of toast, you would totally eat that. However, what they offer you, not only tastes bad… It feels bad, it looks bad, it’s just bad.

So, maybe it’s not Mommy’s warning, but your own wariness at the things given to you that haven’t allow you to eat.

You drink plenty of water, though, to help with the cold and the hunger.

It helps, even if a little. But it helps.

They don’t force you to eat and for that you are thankful.

You managed to find an exit after the fifth time you woke up.

The first time you woke up you were confronted by your Aunt and sister for the first time. You discovered that they don’t speak English and that their Kryptonian is strange.

On the second time you woke you chatted a little with your Aunt and discovered that she and Kortni are blood family.

On the third, you got lost for the first time and found yourself talking with Kortni in their command center.

On the fourth, you got lost again, but this time you found what you guess is a med bay and a room filled with machines and computers and what looks like a giant cauldron. Images of witches suddenly filled your mind then and you made a hasty retreat. That day you didn’t see Kortni or Aunt Astra and you got the feeling they were out doing whatever they did before they took you.

So, on the fifth time you woke up, you finally find the exit: a round metal door that looks like those cartoon vault doors, but smaller. It takes you no time deciphering how to open it, a pad to the side has some Kryptonian glyphs on it and one reads ‘open’ so… and then you venture out.

And you didn’t get far.

There’s too much snow surrounding the area. So much snow that you barely could see what’s in front of you in the never-ending storm. You were still cold, but your powers are mostly back and you can hover and fly. You didn’t need to touch the cold snow with your bare feet (you had to change out of your onesie when it got too dirty and so you are now wearing that dress like thingy) and you didn’t need to worry about frostbite.

You chose a direction and flew.

You flew as fast as you could and as steady as you could. It’s been a long time since you went flying with Mama, but you remember her telling you that the closer you flew to the ground, the more effort you would need to fly and that if you flew too high the tricky thing would be maintaining the altitude.

So, you flew as high as you dared and as fast as you could.

You didn’t know where you are (you still don’t) so you simply took a direction and stuck to it as much as you could.

The snow didn’t help. Everything was white in every direction, no matter how far you flew, but at least the storm was over by the time you started to get tired.

Those few moment with the faint sun hitting your face were glorious.

You remember flying for what felt like hours.

You remember losing altitude little by little.

You remember getting slower and slower.

You don’t remember collapsing.

You don’t remember being found.

You don’t remember anything, but darkness.

XxXxX

When you wake up again you are alone.

And cold.

Too cold.

There’s food on a tray over a small table that wasn’t there before. It’s the same lumpy, tasteless and gross stuff they have been offering you constantly.

Your stomach grumbles, but you definitely don’t want to eat that.

You push the covers off your body and notice that they have changed you out the white dress like thingy and now you are wearing a deep blue dress like thingy. It’s heavier and thicker than the white one and that gives you a little more comfort.

You are really cold.

You think you should feel more uncomfortable about them undressing you, but you feel your brain foggy and heavy. You don’t dwell on it and you don’t really care… you feel your body heavy and slow, but there is nothing else there that alarms you.

_~Good, you are up.~_

You didn’t notice Kortni sitting on the floor, her back leaning against the wall near the door. She’s playing with something in her hands, her attention on it and not you. It looks like one of those Rubik’s cubes Mommy likes, but with less color and a little larger. The sight of her doesn’t confuse you, not really. You haven’t talked to her since your visit to the control room, but there is something about her that puts you both at ease and makes you feel trapped, judged.

Is this what having a big sister feels like?

You never felt that with Mama, but then again, Mama really wasn’t a sister to you back then.

Your brain really feels foggy and stupid, so you just stare at her.

 _~You scared me. I couldn’t find you,~_ she says softly, her voice shaking, almost too softly for you to hear, and that’s a first. Your hearing is amazing.

So amazing, in fact that you can easily hear Mama’s music loud and clear when she’s wearing her headphones.

It’s weird you can’t hear Kortni’s musings as clearly, but you heard them and you feel your chest contract painfully when you register what she said. _~I’m sorry.~_ You know what it feels like to be scared when you don’t know where someone is. Losing Mama and Mommy at the mall on purpose, knowing you can hear their heartbeats if you focus is not the same. Losing Krypto in your socks’ drawer is not the same, but you know really what that feels like.

Calling for Mama, back when she was still Alex, when you had a nightmare and she wasn’t there, back when she was still studying to be a doctor, not finding her in your sleepy state… That kind of scary, that kind of pain, you understand.

So, you get up from the bed and go sit by her, careful of not touching her.

You don’t like people touching you freely, and you are aware there are people like you, so you mind all your limbs, even if they feel heavy and uncooperative. _~I’m really sorry I scared you,~_ you repeat.

She looks at you then, and you see that her eyes are red again.

You wonder if her eyes are always red now.

 _~General In-Ze is not around,~_ she tells you thickly and you frown when her eyes moisten. _~What if I couldn’t find you on time? You were unresponsive for a really long time.~_

 _~How did you find me?~_ You thought you did a good job at not leaving traces behind. You flew for a reason other than to move quickly. You really were making a run for it but it didn’t work.

At least now you know you truly have no clue where you are. You didn’t find any towns or urban areas. Nothing to tell you where you are.

Getting away it’s proving to be more and more difficult.

 _~I focused on your heartbeat,~_ she says and for some reason she blushes at that, avoiding your gaze.

 _~Why are you embarrassed?~_ you ask curiously.

 _~… It took me a long while to turn off my hearing after that…~_ her confession is small, pained as she returns her attention on the cube. _~I… I still can’t really control it.~_

You tilt your head to the side, confused. _~I can’t control some things, either,~_ you tell her plainly. _~Why does that make you uncomfortable?~_

She looks at you from the corner of her eye, her hands stilling. _~I should be able to control my powers without much trouble. General In-Ze does.~_

 _~But she’s big and we are little. We don’t have the maturity to help ourselves, or so Mama says.~_ You wrinkle your nose, however, at something else she said. ~ _Why do you keep calling her that?~_

You can see Kortni wants to protest, no doubt about you calling Mama ‘Mama’, but, well, she needs to deal with it. Just like Mommy says you have to deal with broccoli and using the stupid booster seat. Things are like they are, Mommy says, and so Kortni has to deal with it.

Thankfully, she doesn’t comment, but asks a question of her own, returning to her fiddling, _~calling who, what?~_

 _~We are sisters, right?~_ you ask her and she nods at you, warily. _~Aunt Astra told me to call her that, Aunt Astra… why don’t you call her that?~_

Kortni’s brow crinkle and you blink at that, wondering if you look as weird as she does when it’s you the one doing it.

 _~I’m part of the Military Guild,~_ she tells you softly. _~I started my training when I was ten… Aunt Astra is a general, a really powerful one, and she’s my commanding officer, I can’t call her by her name, at least not when we are on duty.~_

 _~… You are on duty right now?~_ you ask her confused. Krypton is gone… how can they still be part of a Guild that no longer exists?

Mama taught you about life in Krypton, about its story, aided by the information that came with Kal’s pod. She taught you all about the different guilds and how people were designated to one or another since birth. Kal was supposed to learn and live at the Military Guild too, so you at least know what Kortni is talking about.

Also, does that mean that Aunt Astra was Kal’s commander officer too at some point?

_~When away from Krypton, I’m always on duty.~_

_~But… Krypton is gone…~_ you remind her gently. _~… will you be on duty forever now?~_

Kortni shrugs and you know that now is not the time to push her.

You can see that she brushes a tear off her cheek, quickly, and you don’t comment on that. As Lemony Snicket wrote… “Sometimes is honorable comforting people that cry, but sometimes it’s more honorable ignoring they are crying”… or something like that.

 _~What is that?~_ you ask her when the silence stretches for too long.

She looks at you and then back to the cube she is playing with. _~Is a portable memory reader… it reads memory crystals.~_

You don’t comment to that. You have no idea what she is talking about.

 _~You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?~_ she asks you with a smirk.

You shrug at her with a small smile. _~Sorry, no.~_

She huffs and graces you with a small smile too. _~You apologize too much,~_ she notes.

_~Sorry?~_

She huffs again, chuckling lightly as she presents you with the cube.

You take it in your hands, marveling at the warm touch and the lightness of it.

 _~See that hole there?~_ she points to a little crack on it. _~You can put gems or stones in there. Memory stones are just that, stones with memories on them. The reader lets us see the memories… Want to see?~_

You regard the cube with a critical eye, thinking that Mama would be too happy to play with it. _~Yes, please.~_ you tell her as you hand it over again.

She nods as she reaches to the back of her neck, combing her long hair away and you notice for the first time that she wears a chain under her one-piece suit. She unclasps it with ease and your breath hitches…

… From the end of the chain hangs the same gemstone that you have always worn…

… The same gemstone Mama made a duplicate so you could keep wearing it without disapproving glares being thrown in your way…

… The same one you gifted Mommy last winter, when they told you that you could celebrate Christmas as a family, finally…

… The same gemstone that signifies and marks your family as yours… that marks you as theirs too.

_~… What… What’s that…?~_

As far as you know Kal’s pod didn’t include any kind of information about your gemstone and when asked (you remember the phone call Mama made at the time, after you asked your Mama about it for _days_ ) Kal didn’t tell her anything other than it was his aunt’s and that probably that is why you have it now.

Kortni smile grows a little. _~This is a memory gem… just like the one you are playing with right now.~_

You notice that, yes, you are playing with your gemstone. You look down at it, confused. _~This is a memory gem?~_

_~Yup.~_

_~And is normal for Kryptonians to have them?~_

Kortni scrunches her nose, holding the gem to the cube, stopping midway of putting it inside the hole she showed you. _~No. Not really.~_ She puts the gem in place and twists it. You hear a low hum starting and you blink. _~They are common, yes, but not everyone has them. Our family gives them to their kids when they reach five Name Days… I know they gave that one to you when they sent you here. I bet it have a message for both of us in there somewhere.~_

The way she says that makes your brain tickle. _~You… you were coming to Earth?~_

Kortni smiles sadly as she turns something on the cube.

The image that gets displayed hovering a foot in the air you can’t be described.

You know that’s a city, it has to be a city. Tall buildings, arches all around, streets and what you think have to be homes greet you. The whole picture is tinted red and you can see people walking around, things hovering in the air and kids marching in line. The view allows you to feel as if you were in there, among them. You can’t see a tree or a bird anywhere, though, and that’s what makes you understand that you are seeing Krypton before it died.

 _~This is Argo’s City main square.~_ Kortni tells you softly. _~We were born there, Sunny.~_

You frown at that, turning to look at her. She keeps her eyes focused on the image, though. There’s something strange with the way she addresses you… it feels familiar, but also strange. Distant but close.

 _~Want me to show you around?~_ she asks after a moment of silence.

You’ll ask about the name later, you decide. _~Yes, please… Kori.~_

Kortni beams and you know that the tears that are running down her cheeks are not sad ones. She starts pointing to buildings, telling you stories of when she was young…well younger and stories of when you were born.

And you smile because the light that you can see in her eyes remind you of Mama when she’s explaining a complex formula to you. Reminds you of Mommy when she’s playing soccer with you. Reminds you of Auntie Kate when you are planning pranks together. Reminds you of Auntie Renee when she teaches you to bake.

And you feel sad. Because you are not with Mama and her enthusiasm for science. Because you are not with Mommy and her balls and skateboards and Frisbees. Because you are not with Auntie Kate and her endless supply of candies. Because you are not with Auntie Renee and her funny stories.

When are they coming for you?

XxXxX

_~It’s late.~_

You blink at that and you notice that you fell asleep for a little bit, your head pressed to Kortni’s shoulder.

_~…Huh?~_

She chuckles as she removes the gem from the cube, vanishing the vibrant images. She showed you cities, planets, stars, places, you could have never been able to see in real life. She talked about people you don’t know, never knew existed and she talked for hours about your home, your House, your parents… even when she refused to show you their faces, the memories she has of them.

Too painful, she said.

Kortni’s gem is filled with places and history and her own memories.

She says yours should be filled with your Mother and Father’s memories.

Kortni said Kal and you were supposed to travel to Earth in the hopes that they would take you in… because it was too late for anything else. That your parents were coming down too, but that they took too long to flee…

They were caught in the explosion.

In between history lessons and legends told, she spoke of how she and Aunt Astra came to Earth.

She said that Aunt Astra and she went to the planets that had friendly ties with Krypton in search of help for the whole family and those that believed in Krypton’s imminent death.

She told you of the trip, showing you images of those worlds, of the stars and constellations up close.

She told you how they were denied help, how Aunt Astra sent word back to your mother, Alura, and how it was decided to flee to Earth as soon as Kortni and Aunt Astra were back.

She told you of how they miscalculated the time they had left, how she and Aunt Astra were just arriving within Rao’s system when Krypton ceased to be.

She told you how the aftershock of the explosion pushed them into the Phantom Zone and left them, you, in stasis for years.

She told you how they arrived on Earth and started looking for you and Kal.

She told you, tears in her eyes, how Kal told them you never made it down… how he made them believe you were dead.

She told you of Aunt Astra finding your photo in the computer they acquired shortly after arriving on this planet, how both of them were so happy at seeing you alive.

( _~How did you know it was me?~_

_~You look too much like me not to be you.~)_

And now, when she was telling you how the House of El came to be, with Rao’s blessing, you finally feel the tiredness creep on you again.

_~It’s late. We should sleep. Maybe General In-Ze will be back tomorrow.~_

You get up, groggily. _~Where is she?~_

She shrugs as she stands too. _~She never says. She said she would be back soon, though.~_

You head directly to the bed, your tummy hurting a little, but you are too tired to really complain. _~Okay,~_ you concede.

Kortni smiles at you as you climb into bed. _~May his light greets you in the morrow,~_ she whispers.

 _~And may his love delivers you home,~_ you intone the usual reply.

Your sister… she is your sister after all, isn’t she? Your sister’ smile widens at your automatic response and something in you tighten.

 _~I will see you tomorrow,~_ she says as she finally turns to leave and the tightness intensifies.

_~Wait!~_

She turns at you, a crinkle in her brow. _~What? What is it?!~_ she asks you, a little panic in her voice.

_~Stay?~_

_~What?~_

_~Could you stay?~_ you repeat. _~You said that Aunt Astra is not here… I don’t want to be alone and I don’t know where your room is… can you stay? Sleep with me?~_ And it’s not your aunt’s sudden absence that makes you uneasy, no, it’s Kortni’s eyes that dimmed a little when she was about to leave that makes you unhappy.

She looks too sad. Too lonely.

And really, you feel the same too.

You miss your mommies’ bed. You miss being pressed in between their bodies. You miss the safeness that they always provide you.

Kortni’s crinkle deepens just a little but she doesn’t let you wonder why when she’s speaking. _~Are you sure? Don’t you need space?~_

It’s your turn to crinkle your brow. _~I sometimes don’t like being touched… but I really want to cuddle right now.~_

She regards you for a moment. A moment too long and you begin to wonder if she will turn around and leave without comment when her small answer reaches you. _~Yes.~_

You beam at that and scoot as close to the edge of the bed as you can. Kortni climbs in beside you, turning to face you.

 _~Now what?~_ she asks, voice barely above a whisper.

You have already closed your eyes, you are silently elevating your prayers to Rao as it’s done when there is no one to accompany you. Your Mama is the one that always accompanies you, the one that guides you with Rao’s light. Aunt Astra might have accompanied you once, but she’s not here and you’re sure Kori is not fit to be your guide.  She is too young.

You open your eyes, and you see Kortni’s eyes closed as her lips move just barely.

She’s sending her own prayers and you wait until she finishes, until she has opened her eyes, to answer her. _~Now we sleep.~_

You two stay with your eyes open, looking into each others’ blues and not really blinking.

Your breaths are in sync and you feel tiredness pull you to sleep, but you also feel unease at how close she is. At how different she feels.

She’s too hot. Too hard. Too sharp.

She’s not soft and cool and squishy like Mama and Mommy are.

 _~I can’t sleep,~_ she mumbles, making you giggle.

Well, you can’t sleep either, but you are tired and you wanted her near. _~I wish Mama was here to sing us to sleep,~_ you tell her softly.

Kortni’s eyes tighten just a second, but they relax almost instantly. Then, she’s hesitating. _~I-I can sing…~_ she says softly.

You are not really surprised. Her voice is soft and warm and perfect for singing, not like Mommy’s that at best can produce a squeak. You smile. _~Would you sing for me?~_

Instead of answering she closes her eyes and start a low tune… a tune that sounds familiar, but still too foreign.

Too far away from home.

_~Lay down your head and I'll sing you, a lullaby. Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay. And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow. Bless you with love for the road that you go.~_

The tune is pleasant enough and you close your eyes to savor it, trying to place where you have heard it before.

_~May you sail far to the far fields of fortune. With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet. And may you need never to banish misfortune. May you find kindness in all that you meet.~_

You can feel the pull to rest stronger now, but you really want to hear where this is going, so you listen intently.

_~May there always be angels to watch over you. To guide you each step of the way. To guard you and keep you safe from all harm. Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay._

_~May you bring love and may you bring happiness. Be loved in return to the end of your days. Now fall off to sleep, I'm not meaning to keep you. I'll just sit for a while and sing loo-li, lai-lay.~_

You are almost asleep when an arm comes to your waist, circling it. And you snuggle into Kortni’s warmth, shuffling closer and relaxing further.

_~May there always be angels to watch over you. To guide you each step of the way. To guard you and keep you safe from all harm. Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay, loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay.~_

As darkness closes onto you, you picture you and Kortni lying like this, Mama behind you and Mommy behind Kortni, protecting you, loving you.

Both of you.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _~Greetings~_  
>     
>  __  
> _~Hey, Congrats to those who said that Astra was the one behind it, you were half right! Now, Kortni Zor-El is based on the DC character of Courtney Whitmore A.K.A. Stargirl. At the same time, we took the idea of Kortni and Kara being sisters from DC Bombshells ( Awesome series that I had been reading. A series that I read every week. ) So, what will happen now that little Kara's blood-related family is here? What the heck happened in those five weeks that little Kara was away from her home? Theories are always welcome and so are more prompts._  
>    
>  _Like always please forgive me for any grammatical errors that I may have overlooked.~_  
>  _~Our Kori is amazing and you are going to love her just as much as we love her.~_
> 
> Remember when I once said that we might not write/edit all the time but that we plot like mad? welp, Kori is the product of that plotting.
> 
> For those interested, the actual Lemony Snicket quote Kara uses is: “When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.”
> 
> Also, the song used this time is [Sleepsong by Secret Garden](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yQpU_73Dv0)
> 
> Come yell at us in tumblr!!!!


	23. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your life has always been normal. 
> 
> You were born of two amazing parents, just like all kids were.
> 
> You were the charge of an amazing caretaker, just like many of your friends were for various reasons.
> 
> You entered your guild when you were ten, just like all other kids your age.
> 
> You applied yourself, working hard on making your parents proud, just like any other kid out there.
> 
> You were bred in the chambers, you are the result of the mixing of your parents’ genes, just like the vast majority of the people.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where we finally get some answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... sorry for the wait.
> 
> This is, so far the longest chapter I've written... also, I really hope this is a one-time thing. As much as I love writing for one character per chapter, I also want to advance the story and we are looking at at least two more chapters for this particular arc.
> 
> So, yeah.
> 
> Shout-out to my lovely @reinakonanofate for putting up with my stupid ass and my crazy ideas!!
> 
> This chapter contains another little surprise, hope you enjoy it :D

Your life has always been normal.

You were born of two amazing parents, just like all kids were.

You were the charge of an amazing caretaker, just like many of your friends were for various reasons.

You entered your guild when you were ten, just like all other kids your age.

You applied yourself, working hard on making your parents proud, just like any other kid out there.

You were bred in the chambers, you are the result of the mixing of your parents’ genes, just like the vast majority of the people.

Sure, there are little things that make you slightly different, but everybody has those. Those little tidbits that make you, you.

You are the first woman to be born in your house for generations… but considering who your parents are, well that certainly is not strange.

You bear your caretaker’s name instead of your father’s one… But well, while not common is also not unheard of. One of your House mottos may be ‘bind by blood’, but you were taught since infancy that a name was not the end of the world… You are part of the House of El solely for political reasons, nothing more, nothing else.

You are also one of the few in your generation that has a sibling, a sister, to be more precise. By the time you were born, things back home were tense and difficult. Births were more controlled and the waiting lists for a spot on the chambers were years long… You are lucky you got a baby sister, even when she was born nine years too late.

(In your mind, in your perfect world, you would be just like Mother and Aunt Astra, twins. Still, this is not a perfect world, and your sister took too long to arrive.)

But, you are also different from your own merits, not your family’s quirks.

You are the first Cadet to finish training in less than a year.

You are also the youngest Cadet to be assigned a one-on-one trainer and that means that you are also the youngest Cadet sent to inter-planetary missions at the tender age of twelve.

You are also one of the fastest out there, be it behind the controls of a ship or on the ground on your own two feet… You are the fastest and sometimes you were chosen to do recon over more experienced agents.

It was thrilling, it was dangerous and so, so, satisfying.

Especially when you got to go home to your parents’ warm embrace and your baby sister that demanded to be pampered like the princess she is.

Back then, your life was perfect if maybe a little chaotic and tiring, but perfect.

But, then again, nothing perfect lasts and you were reminded of it quite violently.

XxXxX

_~Wha’s dat?~_

You repress a sigh from leaving your mouth. You love your sister, you really do, but her Kryptonian is awful… She sounds like one of those outdated teaching recordings that are more than a century old. Kara’s vocabulary is insufficient and she tends to say the same words over and over again, thinking that they have different meanings.

You get it, you do. She was raised on Earth and she somehow learnt how to speak Rao’s tongue… But her speech is too obsolete and too formal and you feel like she is one of Mother’s old council associates droning in and out in one of their stuffy meetings.

It’s almost bad enough to give you a headache.

 _~That’s the Narrow Tower. The Military Guild’s main building,~_ you explain to her softly.

For the last three days, you two have been combing through the information stored in your gemstone.

You have taught her all about Argo City: its landmarks, its markets, its desert zones, its housing areas… You have shown her where the birthing chambers were and you even went as far as to show her the one where you were bred… She was so happy when you told her that it was the very same one where she was bred too. You have shown her about all the little nooks where you and your friends liked to hide from your nannies and all the places where you could buy candies without adult supervision.

You have shown her the Council District, with its grand towers, low buildings, narrow streets and never ending masses of people.

You have shown her the Science District where Father worked, shown her the lab, the machines, the classrooms. You have shown her the vaults where all the knowledge of your civilization was guarded, where the information was kept alive and growing.

And now, you are showing her the Military District, where you spent most of your time and where Aunt Astra lived when she wasn’t on a mission. Aunt Astra was one of the top generals in there and after Non was whisked away to Fort Rozz she moved in permanently into the barracks.

 _~Dat’s wher’ you learnd to figh’?~_ Kara’s sweet, quiet, voice is slurred by her thumb and you repress yet another sigh.

Your sister has celebrated, according to her, eleven Name Days. She is too old to be sucking her thumb now. But, you have noticed that she doesn’t realize that she is doing it. She talks with Aunt Astra, with you, but she doesn’t realize that her thumb is in the way most of the time… Not only she is speaking an outdated Kryptonian, she is messing up her words with how she can’t seem to stop the sucking.

 _~No,~_ you order the projector to zoom out and focus on another building, a shorter, more robust one. _~That’s the Academy, that’s where I studied,~_ you tell her plainly. _~Narrow Tower is where the generals meet to discuss Krypton’s affairs. It’s where it’s decided if we went to war, or if we were sending troops to another planet or if we were evacuating some parts of Krypton or not.~_

Kara’s brow wrinkles as she cuddles closer to your chest. She is sitting in between your legs while you hold the projector in your hands over her stomach as you embrace her.

There is another thing you have come to realize about your baby not-so-baby sister…

She craves physical contact.

… She really, really craves it.

She took a handful of days to warm up to you. Granted, those days she spent them sleeping off the effects of the Kryptonite shot Aunt Astra gave her when you brought her home, but still, she took a long while to start even talking to you.

(Aunt Astra said she didn’t remember you. That felt like a punch to the gut with one of Rel-We batons… If you are honest, it still hurts.)

But, once your sister started talking to you she started cuddling with you… A lot. It started that first day you showed her the memories contained into your stone and since then she has been glued to your side. She is a frail little thing and she is too cold. You fear you will hurt her somehow with this new strength you have acquired in this planet, but having her near you and pressed into you, is a feeling you thought you would never again feel and you can’t help but soak on it… Really, having your sister here, with you, it’s simply amazing.

Kara perks at your words, sitting a little straighter and you know she is going to share something about the women that took her in. She has been telling you all about them and you have come to know that she gets just a tad taller when she talks about them… You imagine that if she were a man she would be puffing out her chest just like Rel-We used to do when he managed to beat you in training.

 _~Mo’my wen’ to an Aca’emy, doo,~_ she tells you proudly, still whispering. _~She was de bestest.~_

You can’t help your frown at hearing her words. You can accept that those two took her in, but you can’t, you won’t let them replace your mother. No.

You have learnt that Kara calls one of them Mommy and the other Mama… Even when those two words are one and the same. The names are old, not how one would call a mother nowadays, but you understand the feeling behind her words… Somehow, she makes a difference between them and you wonder who is the father and who is the mother in her fake family.

 _~Really?~_ You try to make your tone as friendly and as open as possible. _~She is in this planet’s Military Guild?~_

Kara shakes her head. _~Mo’my’s a… uh “_ podice officed…” _~soddy, I ‘on’t know how to say dat,~_

You hum, not really caring about the strange dialect she speaks. Over these last days, you have come to realize that, as much as she speaks a broken language and you can understand her, she uses a weird mix of it and whatever dialect those two women has her talking. It sounds forced, a little guttural and too mechanical. You know several languages, but none of them is as hideous as the one your sister was forced to grow up with.

 _~Do you want to see inside the barracks?~_ You ask her then, not wanting to know more about the women she replaced your mother with. Besides, you are risking Kara starting to whine about getting back to those women if she keeps talking about them.

Kara shakes her head and you know it’s too late. _~I wa’na go ‘ome,~_ she says in her small voice, a voice that somehow is even smaller, as she lets more of her weight rest onto you. _~I wan’ my mom’ies.~_

You don’t repress your sigh this time.

Kara has been like this for weeks now…

 _~This is our home,~_ you tell her for the umpteenth time.

She pushed away from you at that like she always does when you tell her that little tidbit of truth. _~This is not my home!~_ She says loudly, but not overly so and you are grateful for that. And the way she pushed at you made her take that stupid thumb out of her mouth, which is a bonus too.

What had those women done to your baby sister? For the long week you and Aunt Astra watched them, there wasn’t a time when they wouldn’t scold Kara for the slightest things. You have seen them send her away more times than you can count and you have seen her being tortured with some strange green food they force her to eat.

Your sister didn’t look happy and even so, she wants to get back to those monsters. She cried constantly during those days and you saw with rage how she had to get into bed with them even when she obviously hated it by how she tried to be as far away from them as she possibly could. Only one night you saw her sleeping between them, but the trashing she did left you with no doubt that she was unhappy with that arrangement.

However, what makes you the angriest is how they have prevented her from maturing as a normal kid her age.

Her speech is old, yes, but also childish. Her word construction is off and only fitting for a kid not over five. You have heard those women talk to her in this same kind of broken, old, low-grade language and it makes your blood boil listening to them being so hindering towards Kara.

Your sister used to suck on her thumb when she was an infant and that was a habit that your parents were against of… it showed weakness and insecurity. It showed that Kara was not well-bred and – while you know that was not the truth, your parents told you so – it’s something that the greater minds of Krypton wouldn’t have allowed no matter what.

You have also heard what the taller woman taught Kara in the evenings. Not only the knowledge was archaic at best, the way she taught her was old-fashioned and easy to be misunderstood.

Those awful women have not only brainwashed your baby sister, they have made her dependent on them and you promise on Rao’s guiding light that you will protect Kara from them and all harm that comes her way.

You are going to make sure Kara knows who and where are the people who truly love her, even if it takes you years.

You sigh again and shut off the projector. _~I’m going to get food,~_ you announce to the room because Kara is now huddled in the space between the wall and the bed, just like she does when she gets angry with you.

She doesn’t say anything. You have grown used to that too. She ignores you when she is angry, almost as if she retreats into her own world.

She will come back to you after a few hours.

She really can’t handle being on her own.

XxXxX

Krypton was dying and Aunt Astra and you were just one of the several agents assigned to search for aid.

The goal was for the entirety of Krypton to be evacuated before the first fissures appeared. With the right support, you could have done it without trouble. Counting on that the other planets accepted the refugees, your people, your technology was more than able to evacuate and build cities in other lands within the year.

The problem was, almost no one believed that Krypton was near its last moments.

The Council deemed your Father and Jor-El’s concerns moot and prohibited the Military Guild to go ahead with the plan… But that didn’t mean that what Father knew wasn’t real…

Krypton was dying.

Your mother and father, with the support of the House of El, sent Aunt Astra and you on a clandestine mission to tour several friendly planets to seek asylum for those that believed in your parents.

At first, they sent you to the farthest planets. Father said that the farthest, the better, but when it became obvious those planets didn’t want to assist hundreds of refugees, you had to start searching nearer home.

Soon enough, though, you discovered that no one wanted to help.

Aunt Astra says that it was something to be expected. Kryptonians are a proud race, she said, and proud usually translate to arrogant. Even when you were ready to get on your knees and plea for help, years and years of bad blood between your people and the rest of the galaxy couldn’t be overlooked easily.

Aunt Astra said that it didn’t help the matter either that Houses like the House of Dal and the House of Tul were among those seeking refuge.

(To this day you don’t know why she said those things, but you believed her as you kept looking for a place to escape.)

The first fissures came when you and Aunt Astra were far from home.

Father informed you of how things were back on Krypton. More people were starting to listen, yet the council was still stubbornly saying that no, nothing was happening and that Rao would provide and that Krypton would stand true.

By that time, you have been gone for months.

Months away from your comfy bed and your sunny room.

Months away from your friends and colleagues.

Months away from your Mother and Father.

Months away from Kara.

And, still, you and Aunt Astra kept looking… No matter how hard you missed your family and home.

Aunt Astra changed the plan when the tenth planet told you no.

She was no longer asking for asylum for hundreds of people.

She asked refuge for just your family.

For Mother and Father.

For Zor-El and Jor-El.

For herself and Kal-El.

For you and Kara.

Less than ten Kryptonians.

She started asking for no more.

They still said no.

XxXxX

_~You are getting rusty.~_

Your aunt’s voice makes you jump.

You didn’t know she was back. She never told you when she was going to return from her latest mission and you certainly didn’t think she was going to be back this soon.

Also, how is that you didn’t hear her come in? How is that you didn’t pick up her breathing? You have trouble stopping hearing the storm outside. You even have trouble sometimes with hearing your heartbeat and Kara’s at the same time.

How is that you didn’t hear her?

Your spine straightens immediately and you leave the bowl of paste on the counter in a swift move, the same move that makes you turn towards your aunt. _~General In-Ze,~_ you greet her formally.

She smirks at you from her perch at one of the crates of paste, from where you know she has been watching you for the past ten minutes as you prepare food for Kara and you. _~At ease, soldier,~_ she tells you easily.

You relax at her words and pick up the paste again, contemplating if you should make more than a portion today or not.

Kara hasn’t eaten anything and it’s starting to worry you.

After almost two years on this forsaken planet, you and Aunt Astra came to realize that food was not exactly required for long periods of time. The paste you and Aunt Astra have been eating since leaving Krypton is more than enough to sustain you as you don’t really want to try any Earth substances… There is no way to be certain that your metabolism will accept some of the things you have seen humans eat.

How can they eat the flesh of dead creatures?

How can they drink the nourishment of the baby animals?

Humans are barbaric and you understand why Kara felt so bad and uncomfortable when those women forced her to eat those green things.

 _~Is Kara finally eating?~_ Aunt Astra asks you. Her voice is loud, too loud. Louder than what you have grown used to.

You shake our head. _~No, ma’am.~_ You really don’t understand Kara’s aversion for the paste. She tasted it once and she spit it out before she could really taste it. You know it’s not the best food you have had, but it’s good enough to eat daily.

You don’t need to see to know that Aunt Astra is frowning at what you said. _~Have you tried giving her something else?~_ She asks you.

You nod. _~I tried, but she doesn’t want to eat it either.~_ You can understand that. What other things you have offered her are military foods, designed to provide nutrients, but not really having the best taste.

The paste is the best you have to offer her, and the fact that she is not eating will be a problem in a week or so.

Aunt Astra stays silent after that as you finish preparing today’s meal. You know better than to ask her if she wants you to make her some… she never eats near you.

 _~… Maybe…~_ she says after you are done and ready to go face Kara again. _~Maybe it is time we bring her some human food.~_ The indignation that causes you must be plainly seen in your face at how your aunt’s gaze hardens. _~She needs to eat.~_

You bite your lip, knowing you can’t talk back to your superior.

_~Speak freely, child.~_

_~How can we know she wasn’t being poisoned by that awful stuff?~ Y_ ou ask her seriously.

 _~I’m bringing her human food.~_ Your aunt looks at you blankly and you want to yell at her. She is looking at you again like she does when she thinks what you are being too young and too stupid. Like you don’t know what you are talking about.

It’s not your fault you are the youngest one in this duo. You are intelligent and you have more experience than most kids your age… Well, you used to have more experience than most kids your age.

They are gone now, so that point is moot.

Still.

Your concerns and thoughts are valid.

_~There is enough food her for her and us. It will last us years if rationed right. She doesn’t need any other kind of food. I just need her to eat it once, she will come around.~_

Aunt Astra ignores you as she rises from her perch. _~I will be back in a couple of days,~_ she informs you. _~Try to pay more attention to your surroundings. Don’t let me catch you slacking off.~_

_~Yes, General~_

Why did she ask you to share your thoughts if she won’t listen?

Why did you bother even telling them out loud?

You know that she never listens to you when it comes to serious matters… she is your commanding officer, she gets to call the shots and you know she only has your best intentions at heart… but…

You miss your Mother and how she used to put everything aside to talk to you.

You miss your Father and the long walks around your neighbourhood.

You miss Rel-We and the way he made you laugh and smile.

You miss getting home to a baby Kara and her babbling and her demands.

You also miss your Aunt Astra… the one that used to train with you and that didn’t dedicate all her time to hunt down Fort Rozz’s inmates.

You miss your old life, when all was easier and when your family was alive.

You miss your Father’s perfume.

You miss you Mother’s embrace.

You miss Kara’s love.

XxXxX

You were far from admitting defeat.

No.

The great General In-Ze, the woman all of Krypton knew about, the youngest General in recent memory, the toughest ally on this side of the universe, wouldn’t allow you to give up until you found a safe haven for you and yours.

But, even the best soldiers need a break from time to time.

You were away for almost seven months and you needed to see your family

Aunt Astra needed to get in touch with her contacts in Argo City to look for more options.

So, you headed back home after several planets told you no over and over and over and over again.

You believed in what you were doing, in what your Father and Mother told you, in what Rao destined for you.

Nothing really prepared you from getting your Father’s message just as you started sighting your home. You knew right away that Krypton was different. It looked more barren, more dark, more desolate.

No training, no class, no lecture ever let you be ready for when she told you that you needed to go back.

That it was too late.

That they were all heading towards Earth, the only place they could find that was far away enough and ignorant enough and similar enough so that you all could blend in.

There was no time for anything else.

As Father spoke to you, you could see Mother rocking Kara to sleep… You were witness to your sister being put into her pod and from the seat at the front of the ship, you could see how her pod was launched through the vastness of space. Kal-El and Kara’s pods were already in transit to Earth and Mother was already strapped down on hers and Father was asking you to head that way, to catch up with them…

Nothing ever will ever help you forget how she told you she loved you and how, when she was saying how proud of you, she was, the connection was lost.

Nothing ever will allow you to erase from your mind how an immense shock wave hit your ship a second after. How it caught up with Kara’s and Kal-El’s pods…

At first, it didn’t dawn on you what had really happened.

It took you a long moment to realize your new truth…

Krypton was gone and Father was gone with it.

Mother was gone with it.

Rel-We was gone with it.

Everything was gone.

Your home was gone.

And as the shock wave sent your ship out of course, towards the Phantom Zone you refused to cry over it. They were gone and there was nothing you could do about it.

You needed to focus on getting to Kara.

But… You didn’t count on the fact that your ship was damaged, and that the Phantom Zone is more than a void in space.

You didn’t count that the Phantom Zone is a torture chamber.

Where you slept for years.

Replaying over and over and over and over and over again the shocked face of your Father, her kind words, and your planet’s destruction.

XxXxxX

You have gotten used to waking up after a nightmare without making a sound.

When on missions you learnt to be quiet, fast and accurate.

You learnt to apply that to your day-to-day life.

Waking up screaming and thrashing is not something you had the luxury to have once you start sleeping at the barracks for months at a time.

So, you open your eyes and control your breathing as much as you can, before trying to untangle your sister from your arms. The bed is narrow and she has been insisting on you, sharing since she started talking to you.

You know you are not going back to sleep and you know Kara sleeps deep enough for you to get up without really bothering her.

(If you are honest with yourself, you are more than a little concerned. Kara is sleeping more and more and deeper and deeper. The Kryptonite in her system should have faded long ago.)

You hear right away how she is sucking on her thumb and you feel a flicker of annoyance at the sight. If it were for you, you would have scolded her the first time you saw it happening, but Aunt Astra gave you strict orders not to bother her about such things yet.

Your mission is to make sure she is safe, she starts eating and she understands that this is home now.

Everything else will come with time.

You itch to teach her all the knowledge she needs to have, but again, Aunt Astra says this is not the time. Just like you were made to be in the Military Guild like Aunt Astra by your mother’s insistence, Kara was meant to be in the Science Guild like Father to make her proud.

Her level of ignorance is not only pitiful, it’s downright angering. She has the brain to be a master of all things science and yet when you asked some basic stuff yesterday she looked at you blankly for five minutes.

You discovered that she is not only talking like a five-year-old, she is also at the same level of an uncultured brat.

“… ‘ama… Mom’y…”

… And she keeps insisting on calling those women as if they were her mothers.

You wish Aunt Astra was here to make Kara _see_ what you have done for her. You with Aunt Astra could help you with teaching Kara all she needs to know to be a proper Kryptonian. Yes, she might make her prayers every night and her speech then is perfect, she knows exactly what to say and in what order and when you asked her about Rao’s teachings, she answered you faithfully, passionately and accurately.

But, following his teachings does not make a Kryptonian.

You heard one of those women praying with her all those nights you observed them, and you saw how your sister and the woman she insists on calling Mama taught the other woman the basics, the way to form the words, the intonation, everything… You are more than aware that those two women may preach Rao’s love, but they are not Kryptonians.

They will never be.

So, Kara knowing that too, even when she is your blood, doesn’t make her any more Kryptonian than them.

She grew up in a toxic environment, not fit for one of the latest daughters of Krypton.

Mother would have been devastated at seeing how they turn Kara into an Earthling. Yes, Father might have chosen Earth, but you know your parents… Mother might want you to raise Kara properly, with all the things that meant to be a protégé of the House of El, with all that means to be your parents’ kid.

You can feel the tears starting to gather in your eyes as you contemplate your baby sister.

You thought you had lost everything other than your Aunt and that stupid older cousin of yours.

You arrived on Earth almost two years ago and as soon as you did, you heard all about the caped man wearing the House of El crest and that calls himself ‘Superman’. You looked for him almost immediately and the bastard had the nerve to say he was really hoping you were dead.

(Your relationship with your so-called cousin is an atrocious one, filled with backstabbing, jealousy and not a little amount of hate. You would be lying if you say you didn’t hope for his pod to never make it to Earth, or, even better that he was caught in the explosion and died a crispy death.)

Still, when interrogated by Aunt Astra the stupid spawn of Jor-El actually got teary eyed and claimed that he got to Earth alone that he never even saw her pod being launched. You and Aunt Astra knew Kara was cast from Krypton moments after Kal-El was, in the hopes that Kal-El would arrive before Kara and that he would help her while you and Aunt Astra managed to reach them.

Your ship was damaged when you landed on one of the coldest places on Earth and after Kal-El told you that, you and Aunt Astra worked for months on repairing it as close to its former glory as you can get with the limited resources at hand. You lack the fuel to make it fly again, but all the systems and trackers and artificial intelligence work to a certain degree and that’s when, finally, you were able to track your sister’s route.

(A part of you, the bitter one, the resentful one, blames Aunt Astra and her never-ending need to go into missions for how long it took you to repair the ship. Had she stayed behind with you more often than she did, you’d be able to find Kara sooner… yes, the prisoners from Fort Rozz arrived to Earth before you did, yes, they are a danger to the humans, yes, it is Aunt Astra’s – General In-Ze – duty to capture them… But… Kara comes first and you will never forgive your Aunt for not giving your sister the importance she deserves.)

Kara made it to Earth and you were able to find where she landed, roughly. When you visited the site there was nothing that indicated she was there at some point, but the knowledge that she made it was enough to make you work harder on those trackers.

Not even four months ago you managed to find her pod.

It was stashed in an abandoned building, hidden among the rubber and fallen bricks. It was also empty of most everything except molten pieces of crystals… Father said she was sending Kara with all the knowledge she could gather in such short amount of time, all of it condensed in those huge memory crystals.

All of them melted and all of them gone.

You might have lost centuries of information, of history, art, and progress, but you gained the certainty that Kara was somewhere and that you were going to find her soon.

It took you some time, the machines in your ship are still not running as you are used to and, miraculously, it was Aunt Astra that found her while using the ancient computer she acquired from the humans after your visit with Kal-El.

She found her in a news site for some of the cities in one of the countries the Earthlings have… Why do they divide their world? Is small and mostly covered in water… Why do they need to divide it when that just causes confusion and trouble overall?

Still, you managed to find Kara quickly after that and then you had to wait for her and those women that take such bad care of her to lower their guard and then take her… You really feel for our sister, being forced to sleep with those two monsters every night.

Taking her was easy.

The only reason you knew of Kal-El’s alter ego – the reason you knew of him being around in the first place – is that he made the news globally when someone called Lex Luthor managed to beat him using some Kryptonite. Kal-El said that Kryptonite on Earth is harmful to all of you, and, when you and Aunt Astra went to see if that was true, back on the ship, you discovered he was right about that.

Really, who had thought that the mineral that usually made for fuel substitute and which some weapons are made of is so harmful to you here?

Aunt Astra managed to use some of the Kryptonite you had around. She prepared a diluted shot to help Kara’s transportation, making your work easier and quicker. You were in and out in a minute and you didn’t stick around to see how long it took those humans to realize Kara was gone.

(You refuse to think _why_ you needed to drug Kara to get her back home. You refuse to think that you could have, somehow, bring Kara home talking to those women, talking to Kara, making them see how your sister was better with you and Aunt Astra…

… You refuse to think that you took Kara without her consent…

… You refuse to think Kara’s right, asking to be sent back…

… You refuse to think you did something wrong…

She is home and that is the only thing that what matters.)

You are not really sure how long has Kara being with you now, but it feels like just a second to you. You have missed her so much and now that she is here you can almost see the wedge between you two. She is so different from what you remember, she is so different from what you thought you were going to find when Aunt Astra and you saw that your sister was all grown up.

You didn’t get to see her learn her prayers.

You didn’t get to see her learn her first equations.

You didn’t get to see her stop being a boot-sized girl.

You didn’t get to see her learning to fly a hover.

You didn’t get to bathe with her again like you did almost daily back at home.

You didn’t get to lull her to sleep again nestled against your chest like you did nightly back at home.

You didn’t get to help her with her gums again like you started doing shortly before you were sent away with Aunt Astra.

You didn’t get to see her grow up.

You didn’t get to learn her oddities, her hobbies, her fears, her insecurities.

You lost your sister to time.

You lost your sister to Earth.

You lost your sister to those two women.

You lost your sister to herself…

She is her own person, so distant from you and what you remember.

She is really different and you resent her a little for it…

… And you hate yourself for it.

XxXxX

 _~I’m ‘ungry,~_ Kara mumbles around her thumb.

You are cuddled on her bed like you are almost always nowadays. Your sister is starting to really worry you.

She doesn’t really move around much anymore, she just stays put. At first, you knew it had to be the Kryptonite shot, but now you don’t know anymore.

 _~I can get you more_ “apple” _?~_ The foreign word tastes bitter in your mouth and you are still annoyed at how Aunt Astra came around two days ago for just long enough to drop a sack of those strange things that look eerily similar to the desert candy you remember Kara loving back when she was a baby… It was the very first thing Father managed to feed the fussy baby, other than the special drink they gave all babies.

Acquiring the candy back home was hard and Mother used her connections and power to make sure you always had some of it at home. Kara loved the candy and you grew to associate it with your sister and her oddly sweet tooth. You never understood how your sister could eat the candy, it is too sweet, way too sweet for your tastes.

But, Kara apparently translated her love for the dessert candy onto this strange thing that at least smells good when she bites on it.

_~’es, p’ese.~_

You get up and go grab the strange food for your sister. You feel useless, not having anything to do other than feed Kara and show her the memories contained on your gemstone… But Aunt Astra made it clear that your only concern is to make sure Kara is healthy and at ease with her new living situation.

You wish Aunt Astra would let you help her. Now that you don’t have to concentrate on repairing the ship’s systems, now that you no longer have to look for Kara like a madwoman, now that you’re free to go with her on missions, Aunt Astra refuses to let you help her round the prisoners that she has been hunting down since you came to Earth.

You were trained for that, Aunt Astra made sure that back at the Academy you were taught to follow her steps… But now she won’t let you help. She claims that you are still getting used to your powers that your body is still trying to cope with all the new things that being on Earth causes that the other aliens also have a series of abilities that you are not ready to deal with… She basically claims that you are useless.

(You don’t know how Aunt Astra managed to get her powers under control in just a handful of months, but it certainly helped a lot when you two confronted Kal-El.)

And you feel that.

Useless.

But, you console yourself with the fact that Kara is with you and that she hasn’t been angry at you for days now.

Maybe it had to do with the fact that she is finally eating something and that she is also less jumpy now around you.

You refuse to think that is because you have stopped telling her that those two humans are not like Mother… You are now letting her talk about them at her heart’s content and you have also stopped reminding her she is not going back…

She forgot Mother and Father, you are sure that with time she will forget those she calls Mommy and Mama too.

You just need time.

And you need to make sure your sister remembers her origins. Her family.

You know how to do that, but you have been putting it off.

You are scared of what you will find once you convince Kara to take a look in the memory stone she wears.

Your memory gem contains your memories and some others your Father put in it in preparation for your departure from Krypton. Your Father’s family tradition of giving kids their very own memory gems is comforting to you because no matter what, you can carry a little piece of your parents with you… You have been wary of showing Kara your memories regarding them. They are too personal and too close to your heart for you to share them with her.

She wouldn’t understand and you are not ready to be disappointed in her again.

However, Kara was too young when she left Krypton, so you know the gem resting against her breastbone is your Father’s. You think showing your parents from Father’s eyes would be easier… But you are too scared to look what it’s inside other than her memories.

But, maybe watching with Kara will be comforting enough.

 _~Hey, Sunny,~_ you say softly as you go back into your sister’s room, a couple of the strange food in each of your hands. _~Here’s your food.~_

Your sister takes them from your hands, eagerly, and you have to smile at that. They might have taught Kara to eat strange things, but they certainly didn’t mess with her big appetite.

 _~Why ‘ou called ‘e that?~_ she asks you, around a mouthful of the thing.

You grimace a little at that. You know you have been trying not to call her anything other than her given name, but the nickname has been stuck in your mouth for years now and seeing her so small and curled up on the bed made you remember better times and you couldn’t but call her as you used to when she was a baby. It wasn’t your intention calling her that again, ever.

But, she looks so little and so fragile and so like when she was your _baby_ sister.

Nicknames on Krypton were frowned upon after certain age and the only person you know of that overlook that social rule is Aunt Astra, who keeps calling you Little One and keep calling Kara Little Sun.

You used to call your sister Sunny all the time. Not only her name literally translates unto sunrise in olden Kryptonian, she is a little ray of sun, she always has been.

And you can see that she hasn’t changed a bit.

 _~I used to call you that when you were a baby,~_ you tell her softly. _~I won’t do it again, sorry.~_

Kara shrugs. _~You ca’ call me dat if you’d like,~_ she whispers as she gulps down her mouthful before biting onto the food again.

You shake your head. _~You are too old to be called anything other than your name,~_ you tell her a little sadly. _~Giving you a nickname is beneath your age and status.~_

Kara frowns at you as she stops devouring her food. _~Mama’s always called me baby, and Mommy calls me sunshine… Even Aunties Katie and Ree call me little princess all the time… Mama calls Mommy babe sometimes, and Mommy calls Mama darling…~_ Her frown deepens. _~Auntie Ree calls Auntie Kate walnut, too… I don’t think you can actually get too old not to have nicknames.~_

You shake your head again. _~You are too old…~_

Your sister lower lip starts trembling ever so lightly and you are suddenly presented with a face you had never encounter before.

Her eyes are glassy and incredibly big, her lip is trembling and a little whine escapes her throat. Her head is tilted down just a tiny bit, enough for her to see you through her long lashes and the sight makes you feel uncomfortably guilty.

 _~Koooooooori!~_ she whines the word and your chest clenches painfully. _~I’m not too old!~_

She looks on the verge of a crying fit and you know it’s your fault and you need to make her happy again. _~I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! You are not too old! I promise!~_

A single tear escapes your sister’s eye. _~Would you give me a nickname?~_ She asks you in a pitiful voice.

You nod frantically. _~Yes! Yes! I will call you Sunny if that is what you want!~_ You promise her earnestly.

The watering eyes and trembling lip are suddenly gone and your sister is beaming at you as she keeps munching her food. _~Thank youuuu!~_

You get the feeling you have been played somehow and you get the feeling you will be played again by your baby sister in the future.

You sit by her on the narrow bed with your back leaning against the headboard, still confused and a little on edge. You don’t protest when Kara crawls onto your lap, forcing you to open your legs so she can snuggle to your chest.

She’s holding her last piece of food on her left hand as she plays with her gemstone with her right. She lets her head fall onto your collarbone and you bite your lip, remembering what you were thinking about less than an hour ago.

It’s time to see what message Father put on the gem Kara carries around and you are suddenly scared.

 _~Kori?~_ Kara’s little voice reaches your ears and the name she uses warms your heart, even if that’s what you have been hearing since she opened up to you.

(You refuse to think of that name as a nickname. That is just the name she refers you as. Nothing else, nothing more.)

_~Yes, Sunny?~_

_~Are you scared?~_ Kara’s voice is full of apprehension and you frown.

_~What do you mean?~_

_~Your heartbeat is loud… And you are shaking… I don’t think you are angry… Or sad… but I don’t know… Are you scared?~_ Her concentration is now totally on her gem, her half eaten food now immobile in her other hand.

 _~Yes. I’m scared.~_ You admit softly as you let your arms sneak around her middle.

 _~Why?~_ She is looking up at you, tilting her head just so that she is resting her temple in the crook of your neck.

 _~… Would you want to see what is inside your memory stone?~_ You ask her in the same soft voice you have been using. The question feels too delicate to be talking normally… Almost like a secret you don’t want anyone to hear about.

(You are so grateful Kara started whispering around you – when she is not shouting her anger at you – after you found her on the snow that time she wandered out on her own. You told her you couldn’t stop hearing things for a long while and she adapted to that. You couldn’t stop hearing even the littlest things, the fabric brushing on your skin, the way Kara’s heart sounded, the way her blood, your blood, ran through the veins… It was a nightmare and so Kara now whispers to you more often than not.)

 _~Uh? You don’t know what’s in it?~_ she asks you a little too loud and you can’t help the wince that escapes you. Kara grimaces and she bites her lip, silently asking your forgiveness.

 _~I do… Or, I think I do,~_ you tell her, letting your thumbs start playing around her stomach. Kara certainly made you so much touchy-feeling. _~It’s Father’s Stone, Sunny. I know she left a message there… what I don’t know is what she said.~_

Kara’s brow furrows, just like they always do when you mention Father. You don’t know why is that, but you are certain it had to do with a language barrier of some sort.

You know you were equally baffled at first at Kara’s insistence of calling both humans mother.

 _~I thought it was Alura’s?~_ she asks you, confused. Oh. Maybe her frown is because she had the wrong information.

 _~No.~_ You refuse to get offended at your sister, your _blood_ sister, calling Mother by her first name. _~It’s Father’s. Mother’s family didn’t follow the custom of giving their kids memory gems… You were too little to have you own and this one,~_ you point out at the carvings near where the stone meets the chain, ~ _bears Father’s sigil. It’s Father’s and I’m sure she left a message there.~_

Kara’s brows don’t stop crinkling, but she looks even more pensive now.

 _~Do you want to watch it?~_ You ask her again, softly.

Kara starts nibbling on her lower lip as she contemplates her answer. _~Yes. Yes, I do.~_

Fine… Totally fine… You are not nervous or anything.

You weren’t waiting for her to say that no, she doesn’t want to watch it.

You untangle from your sister and go to retrieve your projector from the sack you left by the door. The sack has all your possessions and all the valuables that you could convince your aunt into letting you carry on the mission. It contains your projector, a couple of uniforms, three change of clothes, one of your Mother’s anklets, Kara’s first blanket and Father’s oldest, broken signet.

So far you haven’t gotten around to show Kara any of your treasures.

You are afraid she won’t cherish them as you do.

You are afraid she will look at them with boredom and not with the love they deserve.

 _~Ready?~ Y_ ou ask her as you climb into bed behind her, bracketing her between your legs.

Kara’s food is gone now, the centers of the round things are on the bedside table and you know she will insist that you take them out to bury them somewhere. Apparently, the woman she calls ‘Mommy’ taught her that the ‘cores’ can be used as food for other beings on Earth, so they always keep them to make this strange food for those other beings… You got lost in her explanation if you are honest with yourself, but at the end of it all, Kara insisted on you to bury the centers every time she eats.

Your sister looks at you with suddenly panicky eyes. She is clenching her gem in her left hand so hard her knuckles are white and her thumb is again in her mouth. _~’o I have to tak’ it od?~_

You blink at her, perplexed. Why is she suddenly so concerned about taking it off? Why does she look scared to dea- Oh. Realization dawns on you and you feel warmth spread in your chest knowing that maybe, just maybe, you can actually share with your sister your treasures. _~You haven’t ever taken it off, have you?~_

Kara shakes her head. _~Once, ‘hen I wen’ to the- uh- ‘ow ‘ou call the ‘ick people p’ace?~_

You blink again, confused. _~Sick people place?~_ You ask for clarification.

_~Uh-uh. ‘here sick people get ‘ealed.~_

This is the first time that Kara asks for clarification when it comes to a word in your language. You don’t know how to feel about this.

You never ever, considered that Kara might not know a word in your language.

You never ever, considered that Kara might not know something regarding the language, giving that she knows so much of it, even if her speech is old and li-

 _~’ama never found dat wor’ in her te’ts.~_ Kara’s sweet voice reaches you in the middle of your confusion.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

Kara’s speech is old and limited… You have heard her say words that even you struggle to remember what they mean and you have heard her talk in a broken, stiff way.

You never ever, considered that she learnt from the written language… From ‘texts’.

Is it possible that your baby sister and those women speak as they do because they didn’t have a way to know how to speak it?

As you think about it, mull about it, it becomes more and more likely that the woman who Kara calls Mama couldn’t have known how to speak the proper language. As far as you are aware of, the only Kryptonians around are Kal-El and the prisoners of Fort Rozz and you don’t think one of those could have gone to her, to Kara, and taught her.

Kal-El insisted Kara never arrived… It is easy to see him abandoning your baby sister to the wilderness if he was aware she was around.

(You know Kal-El knew Kara was around… He just chose to hurt you by not telling you the truth.

You wish Aunt Astra would allow you to go impale him with your aunt’s Kryptonite blade.)

 _~A clinic? Do you mean a clinic?~ Y_ ou ask her when you manage to get your sudden surprise – And reluctant respect, really? Who learns and _teach_ a language based on probably old texts? – under control.

Kara is pensive for a moment and you see her lips moving around her thumb… almost as is she’s sounding the word in her head, cementing more firmly your belief that they, indeed, learnt an incomplete and old language through old texts. _~’inik?~_ she repeats the word.

~ _Cli-nic~_ You pronounce, slowly.

~ _’il-nik,~_ She says proudly. _~’ama’ll be so ‘appy to kno’ dis ‘ord!~_

You contemplate her. She is looking up at you with bright eyes and a slight smile that interrupted by the thumb still stuck in her mouth.

You bite your lip and nibble on it, pretty much just like she did a few minutes before. The woman, the redheaded one, taught your sister a language that, by any means, is dead now. Kara says she also taught her all about Rao and his teachings and, somehow, suddenly that knowledge makes you feel… At ease? Happy? Grateful?

You don’t know what lengths that woman went through to make Kara closer to Krypton and, now, now that you can think of it with a cold head, with Kara looking up at you like you just gave her the sun and the stars and the moon… Just because you gave her a word that her… Mama… didn’t know.

 _~’il-nik!~_ Your baby sister says again, tasting the word.

You shake your head at that. She almost has the pronunciation down, but she is missing something… Oh.

… If her Mama knows Kryptonian and taught it to Kara… Maybe…

You gulp slightly and raise a hand. With just a barely there tremor, you grasp Kara’s right wrist and pull slightly. The effect is immediate.

Your sister’s mouth let go of the thumb and she looks at you with wide, confused, eyes.

You don’t let your hesitation show as you take a firmer hold of her hand and bring her palm to your lips, leaving a little kiss on it.

Just like you have seen her Mama do on a handful of occasions when she wanted to listen to Kara more clearly.

And, just like when you saw them do this little ritual, Kara’s hand doesn’t return to her mouth. She lets it rest over your thigh, where she grabs at the fabric of your clothes slightly. She doesn’t look upset or angry, she just looks at you expectantly.

 _~Try saying it again,~_ you request of her, gently. You don’t know why your heart is beating this loudly and fast, but you feel like you just did something extremely intimate… Something you shouldn’t have known off.

~ _Clilnic.~_ Kara’s speech improves greatly, even when she is not there _yet._

_~Cli-nic.~_

_~Cli-nic,~_ she repeats obediently. Her eyes close a little with the effort she puts in each intonation. _~Clinic.~_

You beam at her. _~Yes! Well done, Sunny!~_

Kara beams back at you, proud and happy.

You hug her tightly, your chest is all warm and fuzzy with how big, how useful you suddenly feel.

Your sister snuggles to you and you are greatly surprised she doesn’t return to her sucking. _~When I was at the clinic, they took the gemstone before Mama arrived,~_ she explains to you, proudly using the word you just taught her. _~I didn’t know where it was, but Mama gave it back to me when she took me home.~_

You frown at that. You want to know what your baby sister was doing in a clinic, but you don’t really want to question her right now. Maybe later you will, but right now, you need to see your Father’s message before you lose your nerve and let Kara keep using the gemstone without ever knowing what it contains.

 _~Mama says I never let her take it off, and she has never tried to do so since I was a baby… I don’t know what’s like to be without it.~_ Kara confesses as she plays with the stone with both hands now.

 _~It would be easier if you take it off,~_ you tell her honestly. _~But you don’t have to if you don’t want. You will just have to be really still so the gem doesn’t move.~_

Kara looks down to it and you can almost see the thoughts swirling in her head. _~Will you give it back as soon as we are done?~_ She asks next.

 _~Of course. It is yours, Sunny… I wouldn’t take it from you.~_ And that last bit is true. The memory gem is hers just like your father signet and your mother’s bracelet is yours. Maybe, in the future, when you show Kara your treasures, you will let her keep her baby blanket, but you will never give her the last things – besides the memories – you have of your parents.

You won’t ever take her treasures from her, just like you know, just _know,_ she will never take away yours.

Kara keeps silent for a second and, after a little while, she nods. _~Okay. But you will give it to me as soon as we are done.~_ Her voice is firm and to the point.

_~I promise, Sunny. I will give it back as soon as we are done.~_

You are not surprised when it takes her more than a minute grasping the chain on both hands for her to finally take it off. Her face is pale and her hands are unsteady, but she passes you the gem and you take it in your hand as the precious object it is.

You prepare the projector, twisting the gem into position and hover your thumb over the activator. _~Are we ready?~_ you ask your baby sister.

Kara nods. _~ I’m ready.~_

You nod back and held your breath for a second before letting your finger press down the bottom and letting the image of your Father’s project on the space before you.

Your throat closes up at the image. Your gemstone contains a wide variety of memories of both your parents, but you have been too scared, too sad, to even think about seeing them once Krypton exploded… This is the first time you see your Father’s face in almost two years.

Yes, you used to watch memories of them both, of Kara, nightly when you were on the mission with Aunt Astra… But after landing on Earth, you really couldn’t mourn properly and you couldn’t even think about seeing their faces without sobbing and feeling a hole form on your chest.

But now, not only seeing you Father’s face again, ready to talk, ready to relay her message but also seeing your Mother there, with her sweet smile and gentle aura, was too much and you feel the tears streaming down your face even when Kara stiffens in her place between your legs.

It’s an image message, just like you predicted. You are shown both your parents’ faces and some of their shoulders too. Mother’s eyes are sunken and Father’s cheeks are hollow and you know they recorded this message not long before Krypton died ... They didn’t look this stressed and fearful the last you saw them in the flesh.

 _~Kortni,~_ your Father begins talking and you feel your heart clench painfully. _~My darling daughter. It is my wish that when you see this, I’m beside you and that we are far away from harm… However, I know that if you are seeing this our plans failed and now we are reunited with Rao, and Kara and you, at least, are safe now… That’s the only consolation I have as we record this message.~_

You gulp when you see your stoic Mother start crying then.

 _~If you see this, Kortni, our loved one, please know that we are so proud of you and what you have become. You are young, Kortni, but you are so brave and you have chosen to bear a burden greater than yourself… ~_ she pauses, looking up and blinking rapidly, concerning you greatly.

Kara shifts once again, curling onto your lap sideways so her legs hang over one of yours, you see faintly how her thumb is back in her mouth and you really don’t have the heart to take it out again.

She too is crying silent tears.

She doesn’t know them, all your reasoning is telling you she shouldn’t be feeling the pain you are feeling… Yet, she is crying with you and that, at least, warms your heart enough so you can focus back on what it’s being told.

 _~Kortni,~_ your mother continues when it is obvious your Father is suddenly fighting back tears. You’ve never seen Father this emotional and you have to fight back you own sob. ~ _We know what we asked of you when you left, beloved, to be a proud member of the Houses of El, Ze, and Van… Kortni, you have done your best, you have always done, and now it is time for your next mission._

_~Adapt.~_

Father embraces Mother and you feel Kara’s unused hand clench around your own memory stone.

 _~We have always asked so much of you, Kortni, but now it is time for you to let others help,~_ Father says, her voice is choked up and you can see her blue eyes are misted with tears and that she is fighting really hard not to cry. Mother’s hand goes to the back of Father’s neck, brushing apart her long blonde hair and curling her fingers around the base of her neck… Just like Mother always did for Father when it was an exhausting day at the Science Guild. _~Kortni, we always asked you to be strong, to do face everything with dignity and to always, always do your best, never relying on others to achieve greatness… But, beloved, it is time for you to forget all about that and start leaning on other people._

_~Kortni, you need to let other people be the responsible ones now. Mother and I are no longer with you and while I know Astra will guide you and help you, I know she won’t be able to take care of you both as you two deserve. As you two need._

_~Earth is a fascinating place, Kortni. Most of their societies are similar to ours, if several millennia behind, and their science is barely starting… But they are as a whole an accepting race. They look like us and you will be able to blend in easily. I have no doubt that you will find someone that will take you both in. That will provide you like Mother and I always did. So, this is your newest mission, my darling daughter, let other people take care of you, let them teach you their language, their ways, their culture. Adapt to it, learn everything that this new world has to offer you… I know you won’t ever forget us, Kortni, but you need to adapt to your new reality.~_

_~Love your sister,~_ Mother says next. _~Make sure she doesn’t forget what it means to be a member of our Houses. Let her grow happy, Kortni, you too grow happy. Don’t dwell on the past and don’t be bitter of our destiny. We are with Rao in his never extinguishing light, my love, and that is the most beautiful thing we could ever dream of. You and your sister will come to us and we will be together again, but not for many years. Do you hear me, my Tiny Star? Not for many years.~_

Mother smiles up at Father and she returns her eyes to you. _~I need you to be brave for me once more, tiny star,~_ she says with the same sweet tone she used to say goodnight, even when her tears ruin the image of her tranquility. _~Live, Tiny Star, live. Don’t close up your heart after this tiring hour. Let yourself find love and let yourself be happy. Don’t think for a moment that we are gone and you ought to mourn us all your life._

_~We love you and we know you love us too. We don’t need more than that to know we did our best as parents.~_

_~And we love you too Kara,~_ Father says and you notice that she is openly crying now. _~We love you so much, Sunny. Rao might not have given us the chance to see you grow, but know that we are proud of you too. Even at your young age, you are still one of the most caring and understanding people I have ever known. Kortni chose wisely when she named you, you are indeed the bright rays of sun that chase away our darkest nights._

_~When you see this, once you are older, please know that we chose to send you away, both of you away, because you are our world. We lost Krypton, but at least we managed to keep you two safe. ~_

_~We love you,~_ Mother repeats Father’s words and you get the feeling this message is coming to an end. _~Carry that knowledge for the rest of your lives. We love you and we are proud of you. Lean on each other, learn together, live together, but most of all. Love each other.~_

 _~ May his light ever guide your path,~_ Father starts and you have to close your eyes. You don’t want to see when their images fade.

~ _May his strength ever fight the darkness away,~_ Mother’s voice joins Father’s in praying for your safety, for your protection, for your happiness.~ _May his wisdom ever let you understand._

_~May her compassion ever dry your tears. May her sacrifice ever let you live. May her love ever warm your heart. May you ever be free of worries and may you ever have free will._

_~To the end of your days, to the end of theirs, be ever safe.~_

You can see from behind your eyelids how darkness returns to the room, indicating the message is over and that the projector was automatically turned off. You know that you will be able to see the message again later on, but right now, you just need to bask in your parents’ words and faces and love and warmth.

Kara tugs at your gem and you can feel her wet nose brush against your jaw. You let your cheek fall against her hair, tightening your arms around her and smelling her clean scent. Even when she has been cooped indoors for days, she still smells like sun and that, above all, anchors you to the now.

You are grateful that Kara doesn’t try to talk to you for a really long while. Sometimes your sister surprises you with how she can deliver exactly what you need while other times you can tell she struggles to understand what you are trying to say or what are you feeling.

When she starts talking, though, her question surprises you.

 _~’here was Zor-El?~_ she asks you in a tiny voice.

You shrug, snuggling her closer to you. Your tears have stopped for a while now, but you are not ready to open your eyes just yet. _~Maybe he was busy at the Science Guild or he was building the transportation pods… Mother and Father tasked him with building the pod that brought you here. Last time I saw him he had our pods ready and he was working on the ones for our parents.~_

Kara pushes a little away from you, prompting you to open your eyes to see her brow wrinkling her thumb firmly in her mouth. _~I don’ under’tand,~_ she tells you.

You waste no time in taking her hand from her mouth and kissing her palm again. _~Father knew Zor-El needed to make the pods in case we couldn’t find a way to flee Krypton… I doubt he knew they would be sending them to Earth, but I know he was tasked with building at least ten pods,~_ you tell her easily, satisfied to know she isn’t sucking her thumb again.

Her brow is still wrinkled, though. _~But… why didn’t he leave a message? ... Your Mother did… Why didn’t he?~_

The way she phrases her question is weird, but you let it slip. You know now that she can improve her language and you will dedicate to do that until she is as fluent as yourself. _~I know he loved us, Sunny, but I doubt he had much to tell us.~_

_~But…~_

_~What is it? You can ask me anything.~_

_~If he’s your dad… our Father, why didn’t he leave a message?~_

Her latest question confuses you greatly, but at the same time makes you understand something that suddenly shades light on why Kara and you have been trouble talking about your parents. _~You think Zor-El is our father?~_ you ask her bewildered.

Kara hesitates a second, her right hand going to her chest to find it void of her gem. She instead goes to play with the hem of the slip she is wearing. _~…Um, yes?~_

You don’t know if you want to laugh or cry or bang your head against the wall.

Somehow Kara thinks Zor-El is her, _your_ father and that is so wrong on so many levels.

 _~Sunny,~_ you tell her softly, letting on hand caress her lower back. _~Our Mother’s name is Alura In-Ze.~_ You wait for her to nod at that. ~ _And our Father’s name is Lara Lor-Van.~_

XxXxX

Your life has always been normal.

You were born of two amazing parents, just like all kids were.

You were the charge of an amazing caretaker, just like many of your friends were for various reasons.

You entered your guild when you were ten, just like all other kids your age.

You applied yourself, working hard on making your parents proud, just like any other kid out there.

You were bred in the chambers, you are the result of the mixing of your parents’ genes, just like anybody else out there.

Sure, there are little things that make you slightly different, but everybody has those. Those little tidbits that make you, you.

And one of those tidbits was, is, your family tree.

Alura In-Ze was promised to Zor-El when they were kids to help solidify one of Krypton’s new immigrant laws. In the same contract, Astra In-Ze was promised to Non-Tur and Lara Lor-Van was promised to Jor-El.

The law-making trifecta of In-Ze, Ul-El, and Lor-Van received Hu-Tur in their political ranks with this move and so it was decided that, as the four men were going to be family at some point, the kids would get to grow together as the adults planned the best course of action for Krypton’s glory.

And so, when Mother had celebrated her sixth Name Day and Father her fourth, they met.

Your grandparent’s plan was to have all the children grow as a unit in such a way that when they were of age and part of their respective Guilds, they could all help each other and Krypton to see better days.

(Father once told you that even your grandparents suspected that something was wrong with Krypton years before Jor-El found Krypton’s core was failing. They weren’t sure exactly what was wrong, but the oldest Houses, the more cultured ones, knew _something_ was happening.)

And they all grew together and they all learnt to help each other and they all went to different Guilds, just like your grandparents had planned…

… What they didn’t plan on, was for the couples they chose to be the wrong ones.

While all of them understood the contract was binding, and that they were obligated to follow it to keep both their parents’ and Rao’s honor, that didn’t make several of them happy.

Jor-El found his mate in Gol Tu-Ra, a lab assistant that got assigned to him on his first day as a Senior Researcher at the Science Guild. Their romance was a slow one and they took their time in getting to know each other before they promised their love to Rao. Gol Tu-Ra accepted that Jor-El was to be married to your Mother and even so she agreed to be his concubine.

Your Aunt Astra fell in love easily with Uncle Non, but Uncle Non never favored females. To this day Aunt Astra talks fondly of him, saying that he might never love her like a lover, but he indeed loved her as a friend and as a companion. After their union, they were the first of the new generation to ask the Council for a spot on the breeding chambers. They were also the first to be denied.

Zor-El found himself not with one lover, but two. A guard by the name of Hei-Hei and a judge by the name of Yku Thai-Kaf. Their relationship was not one of love and Zor-El never intended it to be that way, but you vividly remember both Hei-Hei and Yku Thai-Kaf assisting to family reunions.

Mother and Father, though, found each other.

The First daughter of House Ze fell in love with the only child of House Van and both their husbands, Jor-El and Zor-El, respected their wishes to start a family on their own.

The six of them were content enough with the way things were until tragedy struck.

By that time, Jor-El had already discovered how unstable Krypton’s core really was and your Mother, Aunt Astra, Uncle Non and Yku Thai-Kaf had started a campaign to try to make the council see that your home planet had less than a hundred years to live. The Council’s reaction though had been apathetic and dismissive and their only action was to limit the breeding chambers’ production.

Shortly after that, not too long after Aunt Astra and Uncle Non’s petition was rejected, Gol Tu-Ra and three other members of the Science Guild were assassinated and several of the most secret documents were broadcast for all to see. It was the proof that Krypton was dying that their, your, society was nearing extinction.

Kryptonians are – were –, according to Father, a proud and stubborn race. Not even knowing the truth, seeing it with their own eyes, made the Council see what was happening and the rest of the population chose to believe them, chose to pretend they were not dying.

Jor-El was devastated. 

Breeding chambers never operated under the assumption that the couples – and in cases, trios – needed to be married to conceive a child, but the genes needed to be compatible enough so the kid would grow to be a productive member of the society. Jor-El and Gol Tu-Ra’s petition was pending and they were excited to know they were having a young one before she died. Once she died, the Council decided the petition was moot, hurting Jor-El even more.

He was now without lover and without son.

Your Father, your Father then offered to carry the mix of both their genes in a move that was out of practice and that sometimes was frowned upon. Why would a couple risk the kid have defects when the chambers made sure all imperfections and illness were erased from the produce?

While all of them were close, were friends, the friendship between your Father and Jor-El was akin to siblings and your Mother understood right away how important it was to Father for Jor-El not to be without child…

… Mother felt the same way regarding Aunt Astra.

While Jor-El’s request was denied on emotional and political reasons, Aunt Astra’s was rejected due to gene’s incompatibility. No matter if she wanted to bear Uncle Non’s child, the chances of the child to be healthy were low, too low to risk it.

Your Mother and Father’s genes not only matched, they were perfect together. Their petition came through easily and quickly and so, while you were being bred in the chambers, Zor-El and Faora-Ul helped Father get pregnant with Jor-El and Gol Tu-Ra’s child.

Kal-El was born five Cythonna Journeys before you and according to Aunt Astra, he was born being the crybaby he’s always been.

You, on the other hand, were born like the proper Houses of Ze and Van’s heir… even when, for political reasons and that dumb contract, you had to carry Zor-El’s name. He was your caretaker and you were his heir until the day a kid with his blood was born.

Just like Father carried Kal-El to make Jor-El happy, you were ‘given’ to Aunt Astra to train as her own. Father had wanted you to be in the Science Guild just like her, but Mother convinced her to let you join the Military Guild to keep Aunt Astra company… due to the match between their genes, the chances the Council approved them to have another kid was high, so Father agreed.

And so, you grew up to be part of the Military Guild.

And unfortunately, so did Kal-El.

When you had celebrated your ninth Name Day two things happened:

Your parents’ request to have another child was approved and Uncle Non betrayed them all.

Or, rather, your Father learnt that Uncle Non was the one behind Gol Tu-Ra’s death. In an effort to make the Council see reason, Non and a small number of his followers had disrupted to the Science Guild and had taken the information regarding Krypton’s instability. They had a man on the inside, but he bailed at the last second, prompting your uncle to kill him and the rest of the witnesses.

Uncle Non then was sent to Fort Rozz and Aunt Astra took your training to the next level… that’s when you started being the very best.

You were going to be an older sister, yes, and you needed to make sure you were the perfect role model for your baby sibling, yes, but you also had to be the best niece for your hurting Aunt and there is not a better way to say ‘I love you’ for Aunt Astra like being the most dedicated, most focused cadet at the Academy.

XxXxX

You contemplate the projector in your hands, trying to decide if you want to replay the message again or no.

Explaining to Kara how your family is made was complicated and tiring to the extreme, but at least your baby sister knows where she came from and who she is.

It doesn’t surprise you that Kal-El lied to them, telling them that Zor-El is Kara’s father, but it angers you that the damn bastard didn’t even mention Father… But that is what he’s been doing all his life, trying to steal Father’s attention, thinking that she is his Mother.

(And while you concede that at some level Father is his Mother, the fact that Father was the first to tell him not to call her that demonstrates exactly how much she cared for her relationship with Kal-El.

Jor-El might have been a brother to her, but Kal-El was just her brother’s kid.)

What surprises you, however, is how much your relationship with Kara improved in the days that followed that conversation.

You and Kara now spend most of the time practicing her language and your baby sister hasn’t disappointed you yet with how quickly she picks up the nuisances of your mother tongue. And she, much to your chagrin, is teaching you, the basics of her language… Something called English that sounds like a dying _truphyl_ mating with a _resptil…_ You don’t get why Kara thinks you will need her language and you haven’t really tried that hard a learning, but the bonding is the best thing that has happened to you since you first bested Rel-We.

Sadly, not everything is good and happy.

Aunt Astra hasn’t come back and while that means no more _apples_ (that’s the first word Kara taught you) and a hungry Kara, that also means that you are truly alone and neither of you feel that good… and you have no idea what to do if you get any worse.

Kara’s sleepiness has reached another level. She is sleeping now more than she is awake. She is still refusing to eat the paste and her _apples_ only lasted her a couple of days after you saw your parents’ message. The other day she put on the strange garment you took her with and you can see how big it is on her now. Your sister is losing so much weight and there is nothing you can do to make her eat.

There is also no way you can try to brave the humans to fetch more _apples_. You think you could make your way to where Kara once lived, but you haven’t really seen much of this new planet and you don’t think your English is good enough for it.

Right now, for example, you are waiting for your sister to wake up, but it has been a day and you are starting to really panic.

What if she doesn’t wake up?

There were animals back at Krypton that could sleep for years, but you know you and your sister can’t do that… You would waste away before you are able to wake up again.

You don’t know if this is something humans do, but you really doubt it… And even if they did, there is no way Kara could learn that kind of thing with her physiology.

So, as you try not to panic, you play with the projector in your hands.

True to your word, you gave Kara back her memory gem the moment she asked for it and now, unwilling to take it off from her sleeping form, you have placed her head on your lap to make it easy for you to play the message as she is resting.

You don’t know what would be worse, to wait in silence for Kara to wake (you tried waking her up a while ago and she didn’t even stir, not in the slightest ) or to see your parents’ faces again.

You can barely hear Kara’s breathing and heartbeat, you have been struggling to hear them for some days now, and you can’t really say if that’s because you too feel ill, or because she is really getting worse.

You struggle to move your arms, been struggling for a while. It’s not too hurtful, but it’s bothersome. It feels almost like when you first started your training and you were so tired you couldn’t move. You also struggle waking up a little too on the mornings now, and you go to bed earlier than normal.

Uh. Maybe Kara brought a human bug to you and that’s why both of you are feeling so down?

You don’t know and you don’t know who can help.

Aunt Astra is gone and you don’t know how long it’ll be until she comes back.

So, in order to occupy your thoughts, you fiddle with the cube in your hands and reach for Kara’s gem.

Your sister’s thumb is in her mouth as it always is and she doesn’t move when you move her hair a little in order to reach the chain.

You hesitate for a second, before you simply grab the blue gem and put it in the proper place, not pausing to think if you are ready or not, you punch down the activator and let your parents’ message play.

But, this time, instead of the message – that should be programmed to start every time you start the projector – another image of your parents appears.

This time the two of them are fully bodied. Your Mother is wearing her usual blue uniform and your Father is wearing her red one. Both bear their House insignia and they look healthy and happy if a little stiff. You know that last one is due the message properties, but you wonder when and why they recorded another message.

 _~Hello, Kortni,~_ your Father greets you with a slight smile. _~How may we help you today?~_

What is she… oh.

_Oh._

~ _Could you tell me why Father decided to program an AI in her memory stone?~_

Mother’s the one that answers you this time. _~Lara and I decided we will able help you more this way, rather than leaving all of Lara’s old memories in here. We sent those memories and several more down with Kara’s pod for your later review.~_

You snort at that. ~ _Aunt Astra and I think that Kal-El destroyed them before we could reach them.~_

The AI that takes your Father’s form closes her eyes as the one that takes your Mother’s sigh. You have to give it to Father, her programming with this AI was on point… You will need to deprogram it to find out exactly what she did and how you can better it.

AI Science is, after your training, one of your passions.

Somehow, knowing these images are AI’s and that your Father programmed them, Makes you feel more at ease with them… Makes you almost feel as if they were here with you, but at the same time you know they won’t ever offer you comfort or love and that somehow makes you feel better.

And, you realize immediately that now you have someone who can help.

 _~Kara is sick,~_ you tell them. _~Do you know what is wrong with her?~_

You won’t waste your time asking stupid questions, you will make full use of the last gift your Father gave you and you will find out what is wrong with Kara.

_~What are her symptoms?~_

_~She is not eating… She hasn’t been eating anything I offer her. She has been sleeping too much and she is too thin.~_

Your ‘Father’ contemplates for a moment as your ‘Mother’s’ eyes travel to your sleeping sister.

 _~For how long has she been like this?~_ ‘Father’ asks.

You shrug. Time here is weird. The nights are too dark and the days too short and you have lost count of how long she has been with you now. You can’t even look up to the stars and try to make sense of things… This place is very different from home. _~For a long time.~_ Or at least that is what it feels like.

~ _Has she been like this before?~_

_~I don’t know.~_

The AI looks at you strangely, both of them do.

 _~Did she suffer from any illness before now?~_ ‘Mother’ asks.

~ _I don’t know.~_

_~Does the food on this planet makes her weak?~_

You bite your lip at your ‘Father’s’ question. _~I don’t think so.~_ You really don’t think human food is poisonous to her anymore, not after seeing her eat the sweet-smelling _apples_ so eagerly.

The AI keeps silent then. You guess they are processing the information you have given them and you are grateful they don’t ask the more obvious questions of how it is possible you don’t know if Kara was sick before or if she reacts badly to human foods… It is not your fault you missed nine years out your sister’s life, true, but it is something you don’t really want to dwell on.

 _~Your genes make it impossible to be ill, Kortni,~_ Father says after a moment. _~Jor-El’s first assessment of Earth indicate that no illness from there would harm us…~_

 _~You don’t know what’s wrong with her,~_ you state with finality.

 _~It appears that we don’t have that information,~_ your ‘Mother’ confirms.

You power down the projector then. Maybe, later on, you will bring their AI up again, but right now, the last words your ‘Father’ said are making swirling around your head.

_Jor-El’s first assessment of Earth indicates that no illness from there would harm us._

So that means that whatever is ailing Kara is something your parents didn’t know of.

Aunt Astra is still gone and, you hate to admit it, even if she was around, you doubt she would be of much help.

House of Ze isn’t known for their medics or scientists…

You rearrange yourself so Kara’s head no longer rests on your lap, not really minding how brusque your moves are.

Your sister doesn’t move at all, reaffirming your worry. Any other day, the kind of move you made would wake her up. She’d wake up groggily and disoriented, she would go back to sleep in under a minute, but she would have wakened up.

What is wrong with your baby sister?

XxXxX

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

How could you be so stupid?

You tighten your hold on the frail body in your arms and curse yourself yet again.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

You force your body to go as fast as you can.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

When you woke up today, fighting the fogginess in your brain, you were disappointed and scared to see that Kara didn’t move at all.

Yesterday you couldn’t hear her heartbeat.

Today you can’t even hear her breathing.

Aunt Astra is not back yet and you didn’t know what to do.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

Kara is not waking up.

Kara’s thumb fell from her mouth the moment you tried shaking her to wake her up.

That was the last straw.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

Shortly after talking with the AI you knew what you needed to do.

Either wait for Aunt Astra and risk Kara’s health.

Or risk yourself and bring Kara to safety.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

You, of course, chose to wait for Aunt Astra…

… Or at least that was the plan.

The moment you couldn’t hear her breathing… The moment she was too far gone to go completely slack…

… That was the moment you knew you had to take Kara to _them._

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

If there is someone who knows everything about Kara, it’s _them_.

As much as you hate the way your sister’s life turned out

As much as you hate them for making Kara different.

As much as you hate how powerless you are…

… They are your only chance of making your baby sister better.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

So, you took your sister in your arms.

You cradled her inert form against your chest.

You exited the ship for the first time since your sister tried to escape…

… And you launched into the skies.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

You flew unsteadily for a moment or two. Aunt Astra made sure you could fly easily, but Kara’s slight weight shifted your balance enough for you to panic for a hot second.

The moment you were in control of your body, though, you flew as fast as you could.

You need to go faster, faster, faster, faster.

You have already lost too much time.

You have already waited too long.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

You remember the way to their tall mock of a house. Or at least you think you do.

You flew there often for a week or so, sometimes keeping Aunt Astra company, sometimes doing the surveillance on your own.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

Why did you have to erase all the memories of the flight there?

Granted you didn’t think you would ever need to remember how to go back, but still.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

So far you have passed all the snow and lots of greens.

You know you are on the right track when you pass a series of buildings you remember vividly… They sit abandoned in the middle of nowhere and you remember the vastness and the green and the emptiness that impressed you, making you remember that landmark easily.

You know you are just about to arrive when you notice that tall tower that raises in the middle of the city. It’s not the tallest or even the prettiest, but you remember its mirrors as walls and how the yellow sun reflects on it during the day.

Right now it is nighttime and you flew through the darkness with ease… Your new eyes let you see easily with just the moonlight.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

What if they are not there? What if they are out and they can’t help?

… What if they refuse to help?

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

You should have come sooner.

You should have put your pride and fear aside and make sure Kara was alright.

You shouldn’t have waited on Aunt Astra.

You shouldn’t have let your stubbornness risk your baby sister.

Oh.

Finally.

After what felt like days, you have arrived.

You enter the room you remember you took Kara from, the same way you did all that time ago… The glass door is open and you waste no time landing.

Or, well, crashing.

Your feet fail you and suddenly you are dizzy, but you need help and so you leave Kara on the bed, you leave to let her drop bonelessly onto the strange little animals that litter the bed, knocking something to the floor in the process.

The crash that you hear is not loud, but it is not so quiet either.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

You can’t hear any noise from the rest of the place, but you don’t care about that.

You start walking to the door when suddenly the dizziness is too much to bear and you find yourself on the floor.

The moment to make contact with the soft carpet you know you won’t be getting up again.

Your arms and legs and everything hurts. And you know you have failed.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

You just needed to fetch _them_ and beg them to help and you have failed.

You groan.

And suddenly the door is being kicked open and they come inside, followed by other two women and the only thing you can say is…

 _~…Kara…~_ The shorter woman gasps in surprise and you feel your heart loosen. _~… Kara…~_

You want to tell them what is wrong, what happened that you need help that _Kara_ needs help, but you can’t.

There are black spots in your vision and you know you are about to pass out.

The shorter woman, _Mommy,_ kneels down next to you as the redhead, _Mama_ , goes to Kara.

She says something to you, something gentle, something fierce, something heartfelt, something promising.

You don’t understand.

You pass out.

XxXxX

Sometime later, when you ask her what she told you that night, she smiles and tells you easily.

_~Thank you.~_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Well, how is that for a surprise, huh?_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  _Remember that I told you before how I have been reading a series called "DC Bombshells." And BIG GIGANTIC SPOILER ALERT... ****It turns out that Kara is, in fact, daughter of Lara and Alura in the universe of the Bombshells._ [Autor's note: you can check that [here](http://charis-chan.tumblr.com/post/161407037889/captain-narraboth-can-u-believe-that-kara-is)]**** _Well, I sent a text to a friend (One of my sources for comics information) and to Char showing them screenshots of the comic and their words were quite similar (Wow, what a twist!) So, after one of our many talks, we decided to borrow from Bombshells that idea too, though Char's idea of how Kori and Kara were conceived is very different from the Bombshells (If you are curious to know how Kara was conceived on the Bombshells universe I would recommend buying the comic is just .99)_  
>  Isn't Kori amazing? Also, she is like a sour patch kid, first she's sour then she's sweet, and that's exactly my nickname for her and we love her to bits.  
> Like always, please forgive me for any grammatical or spelling error that might have escaped me, also, let me tell you that chapter 24 is almost ready, let's just say that is about 70% to 80% ready. So hang in there and also, chapter 25 is in the works, so...
> 
> @reinakonanofate's right, chapter 25 is halfway there!!
> 
> Also, @queercapwriting is organizing #SanversWeek 2017, you can see the info __[here](https://queercapwriting.tumblr.com/sanversweek). I'm participating, so the lovely beta and I are working on that too.
> 
> Aaaand, just to keep with our casting, the lovely Lili Reinhart was chosen to be our lovely Kortni. [Here](http://charis-chan.tumblr.com/post/161407060214/betty-and-jughead-lili-reinhart-melissa-benoist) you can see how look alike the sisters are :*


	24. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can’t believe your daughter is back.
> 
> Your worst fears didn’t come true.
> 
> The kids that come back unharmed are counted with one hand.
> 
> The kids that come back, at all, after five weeks… Those are unheard of.
> 
> And still, Kara is here.
> 
> She is back.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where we know what the heck happens to Kara and feels are feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello folks!!!
> 
> This week(s) been chaotic and so, so, so, emotional... so, I might have taken too long to write this time around.
> 
> Sorry.
> 
> Beta love to @reinakonanofate, cause she's the one that keeps my ass in line and helps with my crisis (how do you say that in plural...?). Anyway, go bother her (and me) at tumblr at @reinakonanofate and @charis-chan.
> 
> Without further ado... here's chapter 24:

You can’t believe your daughter is back.

Your worst fears didn’t come true.

The kids that come back unharmed are counted with one hand.

The kids that come back, at all, after five weeks… Those are unheard of.

And still, Kara is here.

She is back.

Those that come back without any kind of trauma, those do not exist.

Kara is no different in that regard.

She is extremely thin and awfully pale.

She has never weighed as a normal eleven-years-old, but now she is almost feather light.

When you helped Alex change Kara into a hospital gown, you noticed the ribs poking out, you also noticed the blue veins sticking out of her skin.

There are dark circles under her eyes and it took half an hour for Alex and her team of doctors to confirm that she is in fact breathing.

To confirm that the other kid didn’t bring back a corpse.

So, you watch her from behind a glass wall. She is lying on a hospital bed, a series of cables attached to various parts of her body and head. You don’t know what it is that is wrong with her, exactly, and the only one that knows is currently knocked out in her own hospital bed in another room.

The girl is, according to Alex’s assessment, not over thirteen-years-old. Her dirty blonde hair is long and uneven, almost as if she hasn’t got a hair cut in years and her pallor is as pale as Kara’s.

Alex felt it was wrong to examine the girl while she was unconscious and thankfully Director Henshaw agreed, so you have no way of knowing anything from her until she wakes up. So far, the only thing you know for certain is that she’s too light for her height and that her breathing is stable.

Which is more than you can say of Kara.

XxXxX

“Nothing yet?”

Your eyes leave Kara’s motionless form and settle on Kate, shaking your head at her question. She is too watching inside the room and you feel a burst of warmness at seeing her in full Batwoman suit, but without her mask. The first time you saw her like that, deep inside the DEO offices, you were startled and honest to Rao scared.

Batwoman’s secret identity is that, a secret, and suddenly Kate is pacing around without her mask and sometimes even without her whole costume. Apparently, the whole DEO learnt of her identity shortly after she started helping out on site. The only one you know is still out of the loop is Lucy, because, and you quote Kate, “she is such a bitch”.

Granted, you haven’t seen much of Lucy for the last month. Your best (former best?) friend has been keeping the graveyard shift and you get the feeling that’s intentional on her part… She doesn’t want to see you and, frankly, the sentiment is mutual.

You love Lucy, you used to wait for summer breaks with held breath because then you would be able to see your best friend, you would be able to spend time with her, gossip with her, play ball with her… During the year you would exchange letters, make phone calls, but you used to live on opposite sides of the country most of the time. General Lane was moved around constantly and Lucy was always with him and so you couldn’t really go visit and she wouldn’t come stay at your house either.

She was the first to know you were gay. She saw your first kiss. She was the first one that knew you were going into the force. She was the first you confessed to that you were interested in aliens.

She wasn’t as supportive as you had thought she would be, with both your sexuality and your career, but she was your friend and she warmed up to both with time.

You wonder now if she simply said she was okay with them to make you feel better. You wonder if she lied when she said she would be always there for you. You wonder if her beliefs and prejudices are so rooted that she simply couldn’t help herself.

But, above all, you wonder if the girl you felt so comfortable with is still there somewhere.

“I hate seeing her like that,” Kate confesses in a murmur and you let your eyes go back to Kara’s still form. “She is always so full of energy… Even when she sleeps she is moving around a little bit.”

Kate isn’t your best friend. She is your best ex and she has grown to be your wife’s family and that is better and more precious than her being your best friend.

You know you won’t ever be betrayed by Kate. You know she will always be there for you and yours. You know she is hurting right now with you. You know she will be there to kill whoever took the girls.

“She kicks if she is not held at night,” you murmur back. Kate’s right, it is so weird seeing Kara so immobile.

It’s wrong.

“Where is Alex?” Kate asks you. “I’d thought she’d be in there with her.” She looks at you from the corner of her eye. “I’d thought _you’d_ be in there with her.”

You grimace.

“Procedure dictates to have her on quarantine for a while,” you tell her sullenly.

Kate scoffs. “Since when do you or Alex follows procedure?”

You glare at the glass. “I’m a police officer, Kate. I _have_ to follow procedure… As does Alex, now.”

Kate scoffs again. “You two are stupid,” she declares as she goes to the door.

“Kate…”

“She is back, Mags,” she says, hand on the pad near the steel door. “Why shouldn’t we be with her?” She is annoyed and you can understand why.

You sigh. “We don’t know what happened to her, Kate…” You bite your lip. “We don’t know if being around her would harm her more than help her.”

“Bullshit.”

“Kate…”

“No, Margaret. You are talking bullshit. Kara is back, we should all be around her, making sure she is fine, keeping an eye on her. Up. Close.”

You blink when Kate tried to press the open button and nothing happens.

She tries again, punching the button with a little too much force.

Nothing happens.

“What the hell, Maggie?”

“I told you she is in quarantine.”

And, truthfully, you hate it.

You hate that she is locked in there and the only one that has the code is Director Henshaw and that he put his foot down on both you and Alex and forbid you in the room for now.

He has Alex working in something, but you are too concerned with Kara to pay attention to where your wife is. She should be by your side, but you are glad she is busy so her mind can’t worry.

Right now, you wish you had something to keep you busy too. But, you can only stare into the room where your girl is and pray for Alex and her team to come up and quickly with whatever is wrong with Kara.

Once you do, you will be able to go in there and hug the stuffing out of your kid.

Carrying her to the DEO was the hardest thing you ever did.

Alex was too wired to drive, so that duty fell on Renee as your wife called the DEO and inform them on the latest turn of events.

Kate was too busy scooping the strange girl into her own arms, leaving you to carry your kid. Lifting Kara is always easy. But, now your baby weighs close to nothing and that is one of the things that concerns you the most.

How is that Kara, with her Kryptonian metabolism, managed to get so thin that even another kid would be able to carry her?

And that other kid, how is it that she managed to bring Kara back?

“This is stupid,” Kate grumbles. “Where is your wife?” she asks you in a near growl.

You shrug. “I haven’t left this spot once,” you tell her. “Henshaw took her a long while ago…”

Kate combs a hand through her hair. “It’s been what? A day now?”

Yes. It’s been almost a full day since the girls crashed in Kara’s room. A day filled with medical examinations over Kara’s body. A day filled with speculation. A day filled with briefings. A day filled with holding back tears. A day filled with worry and pain and uncertainty.

Yes. Kara is back, but you have yet to know exactly how much you will need to work to get Kara back on her feet.

“Any idea what is happening out there?” You ask her. You really haven’t left your spot since Alex was whisked away.

Kate’s hand goes back to her hair. “Renee’s with the kid and I only know that the stuff the Amazons brought back were mostly useless and they are doing a second swipe at the place with some DEO agents present too. Wonder Woman is there, I think.”

You nod before a thought crosses your mind. “And why aren’t you with them?” You ask her truly confused. Kate never lets an opportunity to hit the bad guys slip.

Kate sighs, exasperated. “They forbid me to tag along… They say Batwoman is good fighting metahumans and criminals… But that I would be a loose card if I went with them into the unknown.”

You scoff now. “And you actually let them go without you?”

You notice a faint blush starting to creep under the collar of her suit. “I… kind of wanted to be around…”

You smile softly at that.

You understand.

That’s the reason you haven’t moved at all in almost twenty-four hours.

You want to be around for when Kara wakes up, too.

Not _if._

When.

A soft chirp interrupts the silence that settles as you look into the room. You don’t look away as Kate takes her phone from one of her many hidden pockets. You know she has spent the last several hours calling around to the different search parties to call them off. You also know that Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy were on the phone with her for up to an hour asking question after question in true concern over your daughter.

It warms your heart that even crazed vigilantes are concerned with Kara’s health.

“It’s Ree,” Kate says. “The kid has wakened up.”

Your eyes meet Kate’s, silently conveying your request.

Kate nods. “I won’t move,” she tells you seriously.

You nod back and chance a last glance into your daughter’s room before spinning on your heels and walking away.

You have a kid to talk to.

XxXxX

Director Henshaw meets you at the room entrance. He looks at you with critical eyes and you square your shoulders.

He regards you and he doesn’t say anything for a while, simply looking into your eyes before he punches a code in the door’s keypad, allowing it to open.

“We will wait here,” he informs you as he gives you a wireless, small, microphone.

You eye the small device for a second before taking it and pinning it to the collar of your jacket. You smile gratefully to him and enter the room, not knowing what to expect.

The door closes behind you with a barely there hissing sound.

The lights are dimmed, just like in Kara’s room.

The girl is awake, yes, but you can see she is not at her best.

She is curled up in a corner, knees to her chest, arms around them and face hidden in the crook of her arms. Her long hair prevents you from seeing her face, but you can see the tiny tremors on her shoulders.

You approach her slowly, letting your feet make a little noise so she can know you are there.

She is still wearing the same one-piece you found her with, as no one felt comfortable changing an unconscious girl, and you notice for the first time how it’s a little muddy on the legs. She is barefoot, you were the one taking off her shoes, and the paleness of her skin there makes you feel awful.

You sit cross-legged in front of her far away enough not to be touching, but close enough to let her know you are there. She is now holding still, not making a sound, and you see a glimmering blue eye peek at you from between matted hair.

“Hello,” you start softly, not wanting to spook her. “My name is Maggie… Can you tell me your name?”

The girl looks at you, not saying a thing.

“I know this looks scary,” you say, watching her reaction closely. You are half waiting for a scoff or something to indicate that the girl thinks otherwise, for some reason this girl gives the vibe that she has been in tougher situations. You are also half expecting to see in the eye that she has shown you a little fear or nervousness, but you don’t see anything other than a calculating mind behind her muteness. “But I promise you, you are safe here.”

The girl keeps looking at you, not moving and barely breathing.

“Does anything hurt?” you ask her. Just like with her clothes, at not seeing any visible injuries, Alex and the other doctors decided to let her be until she woke up. She could be sporting massive bruises on her back or something and none of you would be aware of them. “Are you hungry?”

At your last question the kid’s eye shift, barely, and you gather she is, indeed, hungry.

“Do you want any food?” you ask.

If any other situation, you know you won’t be offering anything to the person you are trying to interrogate, but this is a kid and as far as you know she helped Kara escape her captors… Captors that might have taken this girl too.

She lifts her head, just barely, and you see recognition in her eyes. “Food?” you ask her again.

She blinks and then lowers her face once more, hiding completely from you.

You sigh.

“Okay, then. How old are you? My kid is eleven now. She is the kid you rescued.”

Nothing.

“Her name’s Kara-” you pause a second, seeing the girl react to that information, she stiffens even more and you hear her breath hitch. “You knew that, uh?”

Silence.

“She told you her name, then? She’s usually shy, but when sh-”

_~Where is my sister?~_

The question is asked so softly you almost miss it. Still, what you hear cannot be right. “What?” you ask dumbly.

The girl looks up again, both eyes now peeking at you. _~Is Kara alright?~_

Well, shit.

The girl speaks Kryptonian.

A weird kind of Kryptonian, but still.

 _~She is… in a deep sleep.~_ You don’t know the word for coma, but even so, you switch languages easily after months of practice. The girl speaks Kryptonian and that makes you think you might have heard her right the first time she spoke. _~Did you ask about your sister? I’m sorry, but I don’t know where she might be… Maybe if you tell me something about what happened, maybe, we can help you find her.~_

She raises her head a little more and you notice a little crinkle between her eyebrows.

It reminds you so much of Kara when she’s-

Oh.

_Oh._

_Oh, hell no._

_~You… You think Kara is your sister.~_ It’s definitely not a question, but the kid answers you anyway.

_~She is my baby sister.~_

Okay, then. The girl thinks Kara’s her sister. The girl speaks Kryptonian. The girl _looks_ like Kara. The girl is wearing strange clothes. The girl _somehow_ managed to enter Kara’s bedroom without using the front door. The girl kind of carried Kara from you don’t know where and Kara might be light, but the kid is visibly weakened. The girl is awfully light too, and if she is Kryptonian that might shed some light into that…

Whether she is right or if she believes something you really _don’t_ , you need to work under the assumption that no matter what you tell her, she will believe she is Kara’s sister.

So, you nod and continue talking to her. _~Thank you, for helping her come back to us,~_ you tell her honestly.

You see the kid bite her lip, a habit that is so Alex and so Kara and you know now it is yours too.

You wonder, not for the first time, who started doing it first, Kara or Alex. And now, seeing the kid doing it, you wonder if it is something the girl did before or something she picked up from your daughter in the five weeks she was away.

That’s it if this kid was with Kara during all those weeks.

So many questions and only one person to answer them all.

 _~She is sick,~_ the girl says and you hear a raspy quality to her voice. _~I didn’t know how to help her.~_

Something in the way this kid is acting sends alarm signals to your brain, but you can’t tell for sure exactly _why_.

Still, she is finally giving you information.

_~Can you tell me what happened? Why do you say she is sick?~_

The girl frowns and you get the feeling that she’s weighing her options.

This girl is smart and you feel a sense of respect grow for her.

 _~She slept most of the time. She is weak. She kept complaining about the... cold. She… She… um.~_ You can clearly see the hesitation in her eyes and you want to demand answers, but you know that right now your best option is to have her speak freely, without you breathing down her neck.

Still, you need to reassure her everything is fine.

_~I promise you, you can tell me anything.~_

_~She… She can’t fly.~_ It’s said so softly you strain your ears to their maximum and you still don’t really get what she is saying.

 _~You say she can’t fly?~_ you ask confirmation.

The girl hesitates briefly again before nodding.

 _~Did she try and couldn’t? Or she didn’t try at all?~_ You need to know if this kid is assuming Kara can’t fly at all.

_~She flew once… she… um… she fell.~_

Shit. Kara has never had any trouble with her flying. She loves floating if she can avoid walking and her version of running in the house is flying quick enough to knock things over if she is not careful. You remember vividly the chewing off Alex inflicted upon Kara that one time she broke the living room bookcase because she misjudged the distance between it and the hallway entrance.

Hell, you have seen your daughter sleep-flying twice.

Kara and not touching the ground is like pizza and pepperoni.

In the back of your mind, you register that Kara was comfortable enough with this girl to fly around her, and you really don’t know what to think of that.

But, you are at least going somewhere and the girl is telling you what’s wrong with Kara.

You have to refrain your desire to look over your shoulder to the room’s window to see if Renee is taking note of the conversation, to see if Alex has arrived and it’s already making the connections in that beautiful brain of hers.

You know if you look back you won’t see anything other than an opaque glass and you will alert the kid that you are being watched… if she already isn’t aware of that fact.

You think quickly in all other symptoms can Kara have, things she might have done that could help the doctors find the best treatment.

So far, weakness, cold sensibility, inability to fly and sleepiness.

~ _Was she eating?~_

 _~No… she had some, “_ apples” _but not many.~_

You snort softly at that. Of course, she ate apples somehow.

Add to that loss of appetite.

 _~Did she,~_ you motion vaguely to your face, ~ _lose control over her eyes?~_

The girl frowns as she looks to the ground, thinking. _~No.~_

Okay, so Kara wasn’t distressed. That’s good. You and Alex came to the conclusion that her heat vision is coming soon, and that anger and panic apparently trigger it. Kara not using any of her heat ray vision is good, really good.

 _~Will she be alright?~_ the girl asks you, her voice timid and weak.

This girl is not healthy, either. You can gauge from the tiredness in her eyes that she’ll be ready to pass out again soon. _~She will,~_ you tell her firmly.

You trust blindly in your wife and in your kid. You know Kara will get better and that Alex will make sure of that.

The worst has passed. Kara is with you again and whatever comes next, you will face it together and you will overcome it, together.

_~Can I see her?~_

You have to think on that. Frankly, you don’t see anything wrong with the girl visiting Kara, but you are not the one that calls the shots right now. Kara is your daughter, but she is also Alex’s daughter, so you need to ask her what she thinks.  Also, the girl is as of now a ward of the DEO… unless she somehow is older than she looks… so whatever they let her do falls upon the organization’s shoulders.

 _~I will try to arrange that.~_ Your voice is as firm as when you told her that Kara was going to get better. ~ _They might need your permission to run some tests on you first, though,~_ you tell her honestly.

The girl’s frown deepens. _~Tests?~_ she asks, confused.

You nod. _~They will want to see if you are hurt or something.~_

Her eyes widen at that and you can see the wheels turning in her head. At last, she nods, slowly.

Behind her intelligent eyes, you can see a little fear and lots of tiredness and wariness. You are certain she’ll cooperate as long as she gets to see Kara, but you also can see that she won’t play nice if she is denied for long.

You move to rise and her eyes instantly harden. _~Easy,~_ you tell her as you halt all your movements. ~ _I’m going to tell them what you said and that they should let you see Kara.~_

Her eyes don’t soften, but her posture relaxes. She nods back at you and you realize she is dismissing you.

You smile softly, this girl is something else.

 _~May I have your name?~_ you ask her softly once you’re up and looking down to her. She looks up you and bites her lip again. _~I’m Maggie Sawyer, by the way.~_

_~… She calls you Mommy…~_

Your small smile widens and you think it’s obvious how proud and happy that title makes you. _~Yes, she does.~_

The girl’s eyes lower and you wait for a minute, letting her digest the information.

_~I’m Kortni Zor-El, third rank cadet, identification code 239876, to serve Rao for days past, for the now, for those to come.~_

You try not to react to her name. The fact that she believes – and you suspect – that she is indeed Kara’s blood won’t be true until Alex proves it with some kind of test.

So, you bow slightly to her in respect, just like Alex taught you, with your left arm pressed across your chest and your right hand going to your back. _~Kortni Zor-El, may He guide your path.~_

She hesitates once again, before slowly and painfully rising to her feet, using the wall as support. You notice right away that she is just a couple of inches shorter than you. _~… And may He brighten your future,~_ she answers dutifully, returning your bow.

_~Kortni Zor-El, I recommend you lie down and rest. We will be back soon.~_

She shakes her head. _~I will be waiting.~_

~ _As you wish, daughter of El.~_

The girl, Kortni’s, frown returns at that, but she doesn’t say anything, choosing to sit back down against the corner once again.

You take that as your cue to leave.

XxXxX

Once you are on the other side of the door, you aren’t disappointed. Renee has a notebook on her hand as Henshaw’s eyes keep fixed on Kortni. Alex has also arrived at some point and she’s looking at you with wide eyes.

“Sister?!” she whispers-yells. The bags under her eyes are darker than the last time you saw her, but she looks incredibly alert and refreshed. Whatever she’s been doing has kept her busy and stimulated enough that you _know_ she can go another twenty-four hours without sleep.

You shrug. “She believes she is Kara’s older sister… did you hear how she introduced herself?”

Alex nods. “Yeah… Kortni Zor-El.” Your wife blinks slowly once, twice, before burying her face in her hands and letting a small scream out. “What. The. Hell.”

“The girl looked awfully certain of what she is saying,” Renee comments.

“She can believe anything she wants, it doesn’t make it true,” Henshaw retorts.

Alex’s fingers play with her hair, messing it up even more than before, as her palms rub her tired eyes.

“Can she be her sister?” she asks in a muffled voice.

Henshaw’s face is pulled tight in a grimace when he looks any from the room. “We have no record of any surviving Kryptonians… other than Kara and Kal-El.”

“And some Fort Rozz prisoners,” Alex’s chimes, face still in her hands.

Henshaw’s eyebrow rises. “I doubt the girl was a prisoner there.”

Alex glares at him from between her fingers. “The girl is not in the system, sir, I checked as soon as I could.”

Well, that answers the question of what Alex has been doing for the last several hours.

“She wants to see Kara,” you remind them before they can dwell into a long discussion. Director Henshaw might be, well, the director of the DEO and Alex is a mere recruit, but they go at each other as if they were on the same level sometimes. You know it has to do with the history those two shares, with the way little Alex used to look up to him, with the bulky watch your wife wears, with how unfit was Alex’s home life.

Whoever makes Alex so at ease, so comfortable in her own skin, is a hero in your book.

“No.”

Their answer comes in dual stereo and you are left glaring unamused at both Henshaw and Alex.

“I mean, not until we run some tests, to see if she is sick or something,” Alex says hurriedly, realizing how awful she sounded. She looks at you with pleading eyes, begging you to not be mad. “We didn’t plan on letting her be locked up all the time.”

And, you realize you were getting mad at how they refused immediately, even when their refusal was expected and the safest call.

“Alex is right,” Henshaw says. “She won’t be seeing Kara until we know she is not a hazard to your kid or to herself.”

You nod. They have a point. You are still annoyed, but they are right.

If you were them you’d make the same choices.

“Did you hear what she said about Kara?” you ask your wife.

Alex shakes her head. “No, but Renee told me.” She bites her lower lip, just like Kortni did, not half an hour before. “It sounds Kara acted like when she is really tired…”

Your eyes widen at that, you didn’t really see it, but yes, now that Alex mentions it, you know she is right.

All the symptoms that Kortni said are awfully similar to what happens when-

“… Kara is missing sunlight,” Alex breathes out and you feel all the tension leave your body.

You slump against the wall and you close your eyes. You once missed it, before your graduation, and you and Alex swore never to miss it again. Kara may eat her weight at every meal, but she depends on the sun to be full of energy and keep healthy.

Kara is just missing some sunlight.

“How can you be sure of that?” You open your eyes to see Henshaw frowning at your wife.

“Her blood work came mostly fine,” Alex explains plainly. “There is nothing that’s making her ill, no known bacteria, no viruses… this is not the first time she has missed sunlight, sir.”

“She is in a coma.”

“Which can happen if her body is too depleted… last time around, she was cold too, but she could still float around for short periods of time.”

“We didn’t let her get too bad,” you tell him.

“Did you say her blood work came mostly fine?” Renee chooses that moment to join the discussion. “What does mostly fine even means?”

Alex rubs the back of her neck and you kick yourself for not noticing how she worded her explanation. “Well… I haven’t finished her new dampener and she might be in a coma, but her skin is still iron-hard…” She pauses and you feel your heart clench painfully. “… I had to use some Kryptonite to weaken it and the blood tests show some Kryptonite in her body… it’s not ideal, but I’m confident it will fade in time.”

“Alex!” you can’t help but snap at her, making her flinch just a tiny bit. Her new training is showing because the pain and fear you see in her eyes last just a fraction of a second. “What the hell? We said we will never let that stuff get near her!”

Alex looks away from you and you see her jaw tighten. “I had no choice.”

“You also had no clearance to use Kryptonite, Agent Danvers,” Henshaw’s face darkens and you get the feeling Alex is going to be chewed by him too. “It amazes me, Agent, that you chose to risk your kid’s life that way.”

Alex’s jaw tightens even more as she turns to look him directly in the eye. “It was a calculated move, sir.”

“It was a stupid move, Agent… You risked an innocent life. Are you sure you are fit for this organization?”

Alex’s fists tighten at her sides and you can see a little shine in her eyes and you suddenly feel so bad for her. She is doing her best with the resources at hand. Yes she made a bad call, but if you know something, is that Kara is Alex’s world and she would never, ever, put her at risk willingly.

You don’t know why you are suddenly doubting her this much.

“Permission to go and see to Kara’s treatment, sir?” Alex’s voice doesn’t waver and she keeps her posture straight. She doesn’t show how hurt she is and she deflects the question as best as she can.

If she asking herself the same question right now? If so, what’s her answer?

You see just the quickest flare of remorse in Director Henshaw’s eyes before he nods. “Dismissed, Agent.”

Alex nods back. “Sir.”

As she turns to leave, you reach to hold her wrist. She stops moving, but she doesn’t meet your eyes. “We will talk later,” you tell her softly, trying, silently, to convey how are you feeling, how much you trust her, how much you love her.

She doesn’t say a word. Her face is turned to the ground and your heart shatters when a single tear drops on it as she nods. She tugs her wrist and you let her go. She walks as fast as her legs would let her to Kara’s room on the other side of the med bay.

“I fucked up, didn’t I?” you ask the other two.

Director Henshaw gives a shuddering breath as Renee nods firmly. “We both did, Officer, we both did.”

XxXxX

Hours pass and you find yourself with Kara and Kortni, keeping vigil.

Kortni was checked over by a team of doctors under Alex’s watch. Kryptonite wasn’t needed this time around, as Kortni’s skin was easily pierced by the needles.

Blood was taken. Tests were done.

Kortni was declared Kryptonian too… but a really weakened one.

“She depleted all her energy in a really short amount of time,” Alex said. “It’s amazing she is still awake. She should be in a coma-like state, like Kara.”

It was decided that Kortni could stay in Kara’s room and that the solar lamps – which you are amazed Alex managed to build after all in between all this mess – could be shared by the two.

Whether Kortni is Kara’s sister, however, is still pending.

Alex doesn’t have a way to compare Kryptonian DNA. The best she could do was run their blood together and see for any kind of similar markers… last time you saw her she was still avoiding your gaze and looking for those markers in one of the closer labs.

She doesn’t put a foot in the girls’ room unless she is doing her rounds, checking their stats and seeing if anything has changed.

When you are not in the room with the girls, you are out at the control room, keeping an eye on the team that was left in Alaska where they found the ship Kara was. The place was combed and yes, is of Kryptonian origin, but it’s also bare of life.

They couldn’t find any signs of anyone living there. The kitchen was mostly stocked, yes, and there was the room where they found Kara’s onesie and a bag with an assortment of things that were declared Kortni’s, but other than that, the place was  exceptionally tidy, too _abandoned_ , for it to be lived in.

A team of DEO agents and Amazons are still waiting for whoever lives there to return. The Prince kid’s invention was able to pinpoint Kortni as one of the ones that took Kara, but you are still missing the other.

All of you refuse to believe Kortni wasn’t coerced into helping the real kidnapper. She is a kid and when she is awake her eyes refuse to leave Kara’s immobile form. You can plainly see how much she cares about your daughter and you know deep down that she is just lost… whether she is Kara’s sister or not.

Director Henshaw and Kate are hunting down Clark. If anyone knows the truth, that’s the so-called Superman.

Stupid asshole. You so want to punch him in his ugly face.

Right now, both girls are deeply sleeping and, by Kortni’s request, their hospital beds are pushed close enough that the older girl can keep a light hold on to Kara’s outreached hand. Progress has been made with Kara and you are so happy that Alex managed to get those sun lamps ready.

Kara’s stillness is no more and she is curled up almost the same way as if she was in your bed, she is facing Alex’s side while one of her hands is reaching backward lightly, just like if she was looking for your top to hold. Kortni’s light hold keeps her calm, you are almost certain. She sometimes kicks a little and shifts, it’s barely there, but she is starting to respond and that’s all that matters.

It is a good thing that Kortni can be there to keep her company. You are not allowed near the girls while the sun lamps are on and you know the only reason Kara is not restless and Kortni is asleep in the first place is the way they are holding hands in their sleep.

The lights are too bright in the room for you to sleep, but you had a power nap a couple of hours ago as Renee kept an eye on the girls. You refuse to be too far from them, so you can’t do much, other than making periodical trips to the control room while Alex is in the room checking on the girls progress.

Alex…

Alex is avoiding you and you are trying to give her the space she needs, but you feel awful at how you snapped at her, at how you didn’t validate her efforts and her worries.

You think the decision to use Kryptonite in a weakened Kara was a hard one to make and you two, Henshaw and you, made her doubt herself in a way you had no right to.

Alex’s guilt is still fresh on your mind.

Your wife once thought it was her fault Kara was taken. You are not sure if that guilt ever went away.

And now you have made her feel guilty again for something she did out of concern and love.

And, speaking of the devil, you see the lights turned off a couple of seconds before Alex enters the room from the room’s other door.

They have moved the girls to a sturdier room, one that can easily help contain the radiation produced by the sun lamps. Alex, adamant she doesn’t mess up again, forces everyone behind the protective screen while the lamps are on and no one that doesn’t need to be there is allowed inside.

Alex’s calculations project severe cancer risk if a human is around for too long.

You are sure she is going to work on making the sun lamps human-friendly at some point in the not so distant future.

You take the chance when the lamps are turned off to circle the screen and go to the girls’ side.

Alex is fiddling with the machines hooked to both Kara and Kortni and you see how she tenses when you get close.

“Any progress?” you ask her in a whisper. It feels wrong speaking louder than the faint hum of the monitors.

Alex pauses her movements for a second, the only indication that she is uncomfortable. “I think so,” she says in a tiny voice. This is the first time she that spoke to you since you snapped at her.

“Yeah?” You want to reach out to her, touch her arm, reassure her, let her know how much you love her, but you are not sure she will be open for that.

Alex’s head dips a little. “This is actually the first time I do something like this,” she confesses and you can barely hear her. “So, I don’t really know what I’m looking at… their energy levels, what I think are their energy levels, are getting better… Kara’s faster than Kortni’s, but I think that’s because Kara’s levels are lower…”

Up this close, you notice two things.

One, that Kara’s chest is raising and lowering with ease. When she first was brought in, you couldn’t see her breathing. She is definitely making progress.

And two, the bags under Alex’s eyes are now black and she kind of sways in place while she blinks constantly to the monitors. Upon further inspection, her hands are shaking, but she keeps still, waiting.

What is she wa-

Oh.

“You are doing a great job, love,” you tell her honestly.

Alex sags a little and she exhales loudly before she straightens her back again. “I sent Susan to Midvale, to look for my parents’ records, see if she can find something helpful.”

She’s still not meeting your eyes and you decide that enough is enough.

You let your hand rest on her bicep, smiling sadly at how she starts to flinch before she can school her body into motionlessness. _~We need to talk,~_ you tell her firmly.

 _~Let me… Let me finish here first,~_ her voice is barely there and you nod your consent.

_~Want to talk here?~_

Alex hasn’t let herself _see_ Kara in all the hours she has been checking on them. You know she is punishing herself, not even carrying her baby to her new room, not letting herself coddle Kara, or even talk to Kara like you and the rest of your weird family has done at least _once_ so far…

“No. We-We can talk outside.”

“Alex…”

“Give me five minutes. I’ll be done in five minutes.”

You squeeze your hand in her bicep, noticing in the back of your mind how the muscle is growing there, but noticing with the rest of your brain how she is ready to bolt if you don’t back off, _now._

 _~Okay,~_ you let her go and return to your chair on the other side of the protective screen. You pick up your phone and start checking your notifications.

Renee is napping right now and Kate hasn’t text you, regarding Superman’s hunting, yet. You are certain that between her and Director Henshaw they will track him down and force him to help sooner rather than later.

Lucy left as soon as the news reached her and you haven’t heard from her since. So, no texts or calls from her either.

Your mom has texted you several times, but you are aware that is nighttime outside these walls, so she is sleeping right now and she hasn’t texted in a while. She has been informed that your alien baby girl is back and she was so happy and relieved that it took you and Kate on the phone for an hour to plead her not to come. Right now, her support would be better appreciated if she gives it distantly. Her being around at the moment would be complicated in so many ways.

There is a text from Karen that came in five minutes ago and you wonder what she needs to tell you at this time of the night.

_Hey M! Bosslady says to take aaaaaall the time u need to get tiny up and running. Writtin u rn cause just started a tough case u gonna love when u come back! Take care, yo, and say hi to the missus!_

You smile. Your new partner is funny and easygoing and you know you will work wonders with her once you are actually back on duty. Your boss giving you more time off is exactly what you need right now.

Alex is suddenly beside you, behind the screen, and she wordlessly nods to you.

“Ready?” You ask her just to be sure.

She nods again and you pocket your phone while she turns the lights on for the girls.

You let her take you out the room and you are not surprised when she moves just far away enough to still keep the girls within sight through the room’s window.

“I’m sorry,” she says the moment you stop beside her. You are not surprised this is how she starts things. “I know I fucked up. I know I should’ve asked. I-”

“Alex,” you interrupt her gently, prompting her to bite her lip. You reach to her, offering her your hand to hold. “Love, I’m sorry too. I had no right to snap at you… you’re doing your best and it was unfair of me to demand different from you. You thought that was your only choice.”

Alex glares at the floor. “You were right, though… we swore we weren’t letting Kara near Kryptonite again and Hank was right too… I put her in danger and I understand if you don’t forgive me for that.”

“Alex…”

“You told me I don’t get to say I’m at fault and give up… and I promise you, I’m not doing that… but I understand why you are mad… I do. And I accept that you might not forgive me.”

You sigh when she doesn’t take your hand, so you lower it, taking a step closer to Alex, glad that she lets you near without tensing up. “Should you have consulted it with me before deciding? Yes. She is my daughter too. Am I mad you used the only resource you had at hand to make Kara better? No. Never. Alex, you are really doing your best… we are flying blind, you just told me this is the first time you do this… Alex, you are doing great and Kara is getting better, you can’t l-”

“And if she got worse?” Alex’s voice is just barely loud enough to be heard. “What if I hurt her?”

“… You say it was a calculated move.”

She shakes her head. “It was a stupid move.”

“Henshaw shouldn’t have said that. He had n-”

“He’s still right,” Alex cuts you off.

You sigh. “Okay, fine. What’s the worst that could have happened?”

“That I’d kill her.”

You pause at that. You regard Alex with critical eyes. Yes, you are certain she is running on Red Bull and coffee right now… she is taking bullshit and she is not censoring herself. She is definitely abusing on stimulants if she said what you think she said. “Don’t.”

“I’m being hone-”

“Dammit, Alex!” you whisper-yell. “Stop it. New rule. You don’t get to give up and you don’t get to downplay yourself. I know you, Alexandra Sawyer, and you wouldn’t have done it if the risk was too great.”

A shaky breath answers you and you see that she is now crying.

You open your arms and sigh in relief when she buries into them. “I’m so-so sorry,” she whimpers onto your shoulder.

“Shh, love. I know. It was scary… I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”

“I-I could have hurt h-her.”

“No, Alex. No. Kara’s your whole world, love… even at your worst, you couldn’t hurt her.”

“But-”

“Nah-uh. No buts. I trust you, Alex, and I trust that you did the right thing.”

Alex sniffs at that, but she doesn’t move from your arms. If anything, she lets her weight fall more firmly into you. “I-I’m sorry I didn’t tell y-you first, t-though.”

You smile at that. “And I forgive you, love. Would you forgive me for getting angry without reason?”

She shakes her head again. “You had a reason-”

“Alex.”

“Yes, Maggie. I forgive you… even when I think you did nothing wrong.”

“Back at cha, Alex… I really think you did the right thing.”

“… Just let you know beforehand next time?”

“Yeah. Just let me know beforehand next time.”

“I promise.”

You kiss the top of her head. “I love you, Alexandra Sawyer.”

You can feel her smiling against your shoulder. “And I love you, Margaret Danvers.”

You stay in comfortable silence after that, both of you keeping an eye on the kids on the other side of the glass. Right now, nothing could go wrong. Things can only get better from now on.

XxXxX

“I’m worried…”

You have moved places so that you are now sitting on the floor inside the kids’ room, with Alex’s head nestled on your lap. She admitted being high on caffeine, taurine, and sugar, so you are waiting for her to crash at any moment now.

Her tests are running and her lab aids are keeping an eye on them as she finally is taking a breather.

“About what, love?”

“… I really think she is Kara’s sister…”

You hum, combing her matted hair absent-mindedly. “Why is that?”

Likewise, you think Kortni is your daughter’s sister. They look eerily alike, and, well, the kid speaks Kryptonian, claims to be of the House of El and demonstrates a closeness to Kara that marvels you.

How can that be possible, well, that is what you would like for Alex to find out.

“… When Kara first came to live with us… she kept asking for ‘Kori’…” She pauses, blinking owlishly, eyes unfocused. You wait so she can gather herself… you hate it when she does this to herself. The last time she pulled a stunt like this it was finals week and she was certain you would take care of Kara while she rushed through experiments, papers, and articles. “I thought she was naming herself… when she saw herself in the mirror…”

You hum in agreement. “You think she was calling for her sister.”

Alex nods lazily, rubbing her nose on your pants. “… she asked for apples, you know? When we fed her, she didn’t want anything, but apples.”

“That sounds like Kara alright.”

“Mmm. She is stubborn like Kara, too…”

You snort at that. Yes. Once those two were put together, all sense of cooperation Kortni has shown flew out the window. She refused to be tested any longer and she refused to be taken away from Kara.

She’d definitely do a good older sister.

You wait to see if she is going to talk again, but she has her eyes closed now and you know she will pass out soon.

You will get her out the cold floor then. You already texted Kate to ask for another bunk for the room.

You doubt Alex would complain if she is laid to bed in the cramped space behind the protective screen.

 “What are we going to do, then? If she is her sister after all?”

“… I don’t know…” her voice is breezy and you know she is moments away from falling asleep. “… I don’t want to separate them…”

“… I wouldn’t mind having another kid with you, you know?”

Alex doesn’t answer. She is already out.

You smile and let your fingers play with her hair for a moment longer.

You are about to move her so you can go and fetch that bed when your almost dead phone buzzes.

Kate texted you:

_They got their kidnapper. ETA 7 hours._

You close your eyes as two different emotions run through you.

One is the coolness of relief at knowing that this is finally starting to get over.

And the other is hot, all-consuming hatred.

You look down at your wife. She seems relaxed and she looks younger than you have seen her in a long time.

She is finally sleeping after all the tension and panic and fear and uncertainty.

You will let her sleep for six hours and give her an hour to reconcile with the fact that whoever took your kid is coming.

You stare at the kids in their beds.

Kara has moved again, which is amazing in itself.

Kortni hasn’t awoken yet, but Alex said that was expected. She’s drained and she showed signs of anemia. Alex says she was probably fed, but she was lacking most of the vitamins and calories her constitution requires for a prolonged time. The most she sleeps under the sun lamps, the better.

They will try to feed her more proteins and carbs tomorrow, once she is well rested and more open for communication.

So, you close your eyes and sigh.

In seven hours, your world will shift again.

You can feel Alex moving around, one of her hands clutching at your jacket.

And you smile.

Whatever comes next, you have your wife by your side.

Kara is back. She is not healthy, but she is getting there quickly.

And, maybe, just maybe, a huge maybe, you have acquired another child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _So, a lot of things had happened these past weeks, *clears throat.* WONDER WOMAN!!!!! also, I got the news that DC Bombshells is ending this coming Friday and by that I mean 6/16/2017 *Ugly crying.* Then, yesterday I got the news that Bombshells will return this August and it's going to be called Bombshells UNITED!!!! also, WONDER WOMAN!!!!!! also, Wonder Woman is not good for my wallet, but really, who cares, I mean is WONDER WOMAN!!!!!!_
> 
>  
> 
> _Hooray!!! Finally, we got to see our beloved family together ... well, kind of. I loved Maggie's interaction with our Kori and right now I do not like Hank *angry.* How dare he doubt our beloved Kori. And I feel really bad for Alex. Yes, her idea was very stupid, but she didn't deserve everyone getting mad at her. Astra!!!!!!_
> 
>  
> 
> _Like always forgive me for any grammatical errors or spelling mistake that might have escaped me._
> 
>  
> 
> _I have chapter 25 in my power!!!! *evil laughter.* I will do my very best to get it ready as soon as possible. I'm sure that Char already started with chapter 26, so hang in there._
> 
>  
> 
> _Go watch Wonder Woman as many times as you can. It's totally worth it._
> 
>  
> 
> The beta is right, go watch Wonder Woman... I wish I could go watch it again.
> 
> What do you think? Was Maggie to harsh on Alex? Is Alex taking good care of herself? When is Kara waking up?
> 
> Leave your thoughts in the comments!!!
> 
> In other news, Sanvers Week starts this Sunday (06/18/2017) and I already have all the days ready!!!! So, either go hang out with us in Tumblr at the #SanversWeek tag or hang around here cause I'm gonna publish them here too.
> 
> For more information, go visit our dear Captain ([@queercapwriting](https://queercapwriting.tumblr.com/sanversweek)) as they are the one organizing this massive event!!!


	25. Powerless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It hurts.
> 
> It hurts so damn much.
> 
> Making the call to use Kryptonite around Kara had not been easy.  
> It took you almost an hour to make the right calculations so you could make Kara’s skin soft enough to be penetrated in one spot, just one spot.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one when Alex is hurting, Maggie risks cancer and Kara wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... hard week.
> 
> Really hard week.
> 
> I'm even mixing up my languages and stuttering when talking with how tired I am.
> 
> But!!!!
> 
> Good news!!!
> 
> We're ready to share chapter 25 :3
> 
> Shoutout to @reinakonanofate for being her amazing self. Being my sound board, the shoulder I cry on and the bestest friend to ever grace earth!
> 
> I love you!!!!
> 
> (Go bother her on tumblr, people.)
> 
> Also, thank to all of you who went to look at my #SanversWeek contributions!!! To those that are here cause they heard of us thanks to #SanversWeek, welcome!! To those that read those... thoughts? anything you'd like me to expand? (except day seven, that one is being transformed in a series that are being cooked as we keep plotting Kismet!!!).
> 
> Read on, my lovelies.
> 
> Drinking water beforehand is advised.

It hurts.

It hurts so damn much.

Making the call to use Kryptonite around Kara had not been easy.

It took you almost an hour to make the right calculations so you could make Kara’s skin soft enough to use a needle in one spot, just _one_ spot.

But, no matter how much you have been working on her new dampener, it’s still not ready. The math doesn’t add up and you can’t scale down the transmitter yet. However, when the necessity arose, the technicians that helped you build the sun lamps started building a large-scale transmitter that can imitate a red sun’s radiation.

It’s still not ready, no, and, even if it was, there is no guarantee it will work as planned.

So, yeah, you had to recourse to Kryptonite.

This is the first time you work with Kara’s blood. Your parents were the ones that used to do bi-annual blood tests on her…

… As much as it pains you, the idea of using a small bit of Kryptonite on Kara to prick her with the needle was not yours. It was something your mom used to do.

It’s something you promised yourself you wouldn’t ever do.

You need to be honest, though. Why would it surprise you that you broke your promise? You and Maggie decided never to use Kryptonite near Kara again, never with the intention to harm her in any way. Hell, even the shards you use to cut Kara’s hair are used quickly and in broad midday: you cut her hair and let her nap under the sun for the rest of the day so any residue can be eliminated quickly.

You nuked the damn Kryptonite dampener your mom made.

You really promised yourself, and Maggie, you wouldn’t use the damn thing again.

… But desperate times calls for desperate measures and there was just one way you knew how to draw her blood quickly and you _needed_ to know that she had nothing poisoning her veins.

Other than Kryptonite, that’s it.

Yes. It was a stupid move. Hank was right about that.

And now you have to think if you are fit to be a DEO agent.

So, yeah, it hurt that they are doubting you, that they are second guessing you, that they are questioning you.

But, talking will come later.

Right now, you are done setting up Kara’s new room and are en route to see this girl who calls herself Kortni Zor-El.

You know your daughter is in good hands right now, having both Kate and your wife on watch, so you know you can talk to the new kid without worries.

(You refuse to acknowledge that you don’t want to visit Kara. After hurting her, after _poisoning_ her, with Kryptonite, you know she is better off with her Mommy and Auntie.)

“Hey,” Renee’s soft voice startles you from your musings.

You smile. You will forever be grateful to Rao for bringing you these two amazing women.

Kate has grown to be your sister in all but blood and Renee is the mentor you always wanted but never got.

You may fuck it constantly and royally, but at least Rao keeps blessing you.

“Hey,” you call back to her. “Thanks for keeping watch.”

Renee glares down the can of Red Bull in your left hand and it suddenly feels too heavy to carry. “Please tell me that’s your first.”

You sigh. It shouldn’t surprise you that even levelheaded Renee, understanding Renee, supportive Renee, is ready to chew you out too. “You know it’s not…” you mumble as you lean against the wall, resting the heavy briefcase you are carrying on your right hand against your leg… the thing definitely needs some wheels, it’s awfully heavy.

You can see the girl is still curled up in the same corner Maggie left her. Her knees are pulled at her chest and she is hugging herself fiercely. Her face is still hidden and you are certain she is in a state between sleep and wakefulness…

“Alex…” Renee starts and you can feel a scolding coming your way, but she cuts herself off suddenly. “Is Kara’s treatment ready?”

You bite your lip, grateful to Renee for not making things harder on you, but unwilling to tell her so. “Yeah… I came to see if the girl will let us take a sample of her blood-”

“Her name is Kortni.”

You blink up at Renee. You know her name is Kortni. You heard her say it. Why is Renee suddenly snappish too? “Yeah, Kortni… I get the feeling that if she is indeed Kryptonian she will benefit from the sunlamps too.” You rub at your eye with the back of your left hand, accurately aware of how your contacts are itching. “If she is willing, that’s it.”

Renee is eyeing you in a way you don’t like, but that you can’t also really understand.

It irks you.

“If she is Kryptonian, are you using Kryptonite on her too?”

You freeze at that. Shit. You really don’t want to talk to her about this right now. “… I guess?” The red sun recreation has some hours left to be finished, so if you want the girl’s samples as soon as possible you will have to do it with Kryptonite, just like you did with Kara… _if_ you can’t prick Kortni’s skin.

Oh, Rao… the new look she is giving you is one you recognize immediately.

You used to see in your mom’s eyes all the time.

Renee is disappointed in you.

“And you think that’s the wisest idea?”

You lower your eyes. Dammit, you aren’t fit to do this right now. “I’m going in and talk to her,” you tell her as you push from the wall, swaying just a little in place.

“Alex…”

“You can go and sleep a little,” you tell her, shaking your head to get rid of the sudden dizziness. “Kate is in one of the quiet rooms taking a nap. Or, you can go with Maggie oversee Kara’s settling in her new room.” You punch in the code to let the door open as quickly as you can. You can’t really do this right now.

“Alex…”

The doors open and you can see Kortni’s head rising just a little to peek at you. Quickly, but not so much as to startle the girl, you cross the threshold and lock the door from the inside. You let your forehead rest against the smooth, cool, steel and take a deep breath.

Letting your briefcase rest by the door, you turn around and notice that the kid is looking at you expectantly.

 _~Hello, Kortni Zor-El,~_ you say softly. _~My name is Alex… Maggie told me what you said.~_

The girl looks at you and you feel a pang of sadness rush in you. She looks tired, starved and ready to drop, but she is still fighting sleep and she is still trying to present herself as someone not weak.

You can certainly relate.

_~Mind if I sit with you?~_

The girl lowers her head again and you take that as your cue to approach.

Instead of sitting like Maggie in front of her, you let yourself slid against the wall on her left and rest just a foot away. You take another sip of Red Bull and discreetly notice that she is keeping an eye on you.

 _~Thank you,~_ you tell her from the bottom of your heart. _~For bringing her back.~_

Kortni nods, letting the silence blanket you. Rao, when is the Red Bull kicking in? You feel like falling asleep, but you can’t, not right now.

 _~Will she get any better?~_ Her tiny voice reaches you and pulls you from your half passed out state.

You take notice that just like your first thought when you heard her speaking with Maggie her language is more relaxed, her accent sweeter and her pronunciation more sing-like. You remember you begged Kal to teach you to speak like that, to teach you how to speak like a proper Kryptonian… but by the time he had thought you the basics, the more formal language, the one that is used to teach strangers before they can learn the tilts to the language, the dips, and the shortcuts, Kal was gone to the Kent’s Farm.

Later on, when he came around and visit and you asked for more lessons, he ignored you and started treating you like garbage.

To this day, you still wonder why he was so mean to your seven years-old-self. Sure, when he first came he was a proud boy and he was always brooding and always doing his own stuff, but he was nice to you, kind to you in an impatient kind of way that you attributed then to all the years he was older. He put up with you easily and he was never snappish to you, even when you sometimes saw him getting worked up and impatient after one too many questions…

… However, your parents were the same, so you thought he was not mean to you. Looking back you know better now, but still, you can’t really see why he changed his attitude towards you or why he suddenly was even more self-centered.

 _~Yes. It will take time, but she will get there,~_ you force yourself to answer her, taking your thoughts away from things you cannot longer change and that you simply don’t have the brainpower to revise. Sleep right now is really calling you.

 _~I’m sorry… I didn’t know how to help her.~_ You hear a little sniffle and you open your eyes. She is not crying, no, but you can see in her eyes that she is hurting and she is fighting with that hurt and that she is ready to break.

Oh, Rao, don’t you know that feeling.

_~You brought her here, Kortni Zor-El… that was the right thing to do.~_

_~… I couldn’t help her,~_ she says and her words are slurred and she’s blinking repeatedly.

It looks like the two of you are really out of it and ready to pass out.

 _~Are you really Kryptonian?~_ You ask her plainly, mainly because the faster you get her samples, the faster she can go to bed and the faster you can get to try to decipher if they are related or not and if the kid is sick or not.

DEO standard procedure dictates that you sample and examine everything that comes through the doors, be it human or alien, animate or inanimate. One of the things the DEO aims for is to build an enormous database of everything alien, human and unidentified.

The girl bristles and you have to fight back a little giggle. Damn, why is the Red Bull not working? You are so getting an espresso once you leave this room. Just to be safe, you sip your way too sweet drink again.

_~Of course I’m Kryptonian! I’m a cadet of the Most Honorable Military Guild! My parents are part of the Science Guild and the Judicial Guild! I-~_

_~I’m sorry I offended you, daughter of the House of El,~_ you tell her softly. _~This is just extremely strange… We thought Kal-El and a handful of others from Fort Rozz were the only ones still alive…~_

You can see the shock on her face and you are waiting for her to ask you something, tell you something, but before you can blink three slow, heavy, times, her face is schooled and she nods at you. _~Apology accepted, Alexandra of the House of…?~_

You smile at that. _~It’s Alex Sawyer… we don’t really do Houses here and if I give you my family’s name you will get a little confused right now. So, call me Alex. Just Alex.~_

Kortni’s brow wrinkles and it reminds you so much of when Kara crinkles her own when she is confused or preoccupied. It’s cute and it makes them look even more alike.

If you had any doubts of this kid being Kara’s kin, they are getting smaller and smaller.

 _~Won’t I be dishonoring your family?~_ she asks in a confused tone that doesn’t want to make you laugh, this time. Uh. Your third Red Bull is finally kicking in.

 _~My family, my birth family, doesn’t really deserve honor, kid,~_ you don’t know why you are telling her this… maybe the Red Bull isn’t really kicking in?

She looks at you perplexed, and you remember that Kal once told you that family is the most important thing for a Kryptonian… it comes second only to Rao and his light.

 _~Just call me Alex, kid,~_ you tell her simply when you see she’s ready to protest. You really are not fit to have any kind of deep conversations with anyone.

Your chest hurts and you know that half of that pain comes from the disappointment you saw in Maggie’s eyes, in Hank’s eyes, in Renee’s eyes… you are lucky Kate wasn’t around because letting her down too would have been your last straw.

The other half of it comes from all the caffeine running through your system, you’re certain.

_~Understood, Alex.~_

The way the girl complies makes you think that, at some level, she is at the same breaking point as you… you two are bone tired and so done with life right now… at least that’s what you can see in her eyes and in the way she is suddenly defensive and suddenly all softness.

 _~We want a little of your blood,~_ you tell her after another sip of Red Bull. _~Could you let me take some?~_

 _~What for?~_ The way she is not defensive again, the way she simply rests her cheek on her knee, makes you see that, yes, the kid is so done and ready to pass out.

Just like you.

_~I want to make sure you are healthy… and I need to know if there is anything that could harm you in it.~_

_~And you need my blood for that?~_

The incredulity in her voice makes you smile. _~We are eons behind in this side of the_ “Milky Way” _, Kortni Zor-El.~_

The girl’s crinkle is back. “Mil-key Wei?”

Her pronunciation is cute and your smile widens at it. _~This side of the galaxy,~_ you explain. _~That’s what we call our galaxy._ “Milky Way.”

She nods at that and somehow, you two find yourselves in a bit of a comfortable silence while she meditates on your answer.

You sip your Red Bull again, noticing how it’s almost empty, but you have yet to feel the wings spring from your back.

You need to demand your money back.

_~So, will you let me take some blood? And a little spit?~_

_~When can I see Kara?~_ she asks you back.

You smile sadly behind your can. She is as desperate for Kara as you were not three days before. _~As soon as we know you are healthy, you can go see her. In fact, I was thinking of moving you to her room, let you use the lamps too.~_

You are talking too much and not making sense, you can tell, for how her crinkle intensifies. ~ _Lamps?~_

You nod, finishing your can. _~Lamps that imitate the sun’s rays. It will help Kara charge quickly and it will help you too.~_

If you are fair to your technicians, they haven’t completed the red sun transmitter for the sole reason they had to build the solar lamps you designed first.

Getting Kara up and healthy is more important than having something to weaken Kortni. Yes, she is a kid. A weak, thin, fragile, kid, but she claims to be Kryptonian and you can’t risk not having a backup plan set.

Using Kryptonite to incapacitate for long periods of time is simply out of the question.

Somehow, her crinkle becomes deeper. _~Sun? Charge?~_

Right.

This doesn’t complicate things at all.

_~What do you know about Kryptonians living on Earth?~_

The girl shrugs. _~We are stronger. We can fly. I hear things… see things, I couldn’t back ho- before.~_

You decide not to comment on her little slip. You guess that talking about her home, her planet, is still hard for her.

Little by little more questions start to appear, though.

First, if she’s indeed Kara’s kin. Then, how is that this is the first time you hear Kara might have a sister. Now, how is that this kid can speak the same perfect Kryptonian Kal can, how is that talking about _home_ makes her hesitate when you know Krypton has been gone for more than a decade… she sounds like she lost her home a couple of months ago.

How old is she?

How old was she when Krypton died?

How did she survive?

How long has she been on Earth?

Was she alone until whoever took her, took Kara, came around?

So many questions.

So little answers.

 _~Our yellow sun, “_ Sol” _, emits a series of lights, most of which your bodies aren’t used to get from Rao’s weakened force,~_ you tell her as you look up to the fluorescent light bulbs in the room. _~These lights are metabolized in your bodies in such a way that they transform into energy… almost as if you were plants. That energy is stored in your cells and that is what allows you to fly, to be really strong and to shoot laser from your eyes among other things._

 _~Unfortunately, your bodies depend on that energy to the level that Kara’s completely depleted and she went into a coma-like state to survive.~_ You eye her, the tiredness around her eyes, the paleness, the skinniness… ~ _I think it will do you some good using the lamps too.~_

She is looking at you, grossed out and, you think, a little wary. _~Like plants?~_ she asks after a moment. _~We are like plants?~_

You can’t help it, you snort at that. _~Not quiet, but yes.~_ The freaked out face she gives you, makes you bite down another amused snort. _~I’ll explain it you in detail once all this is done, okay? Right now, I just need some blood so you can go and lie down under our fake sun.~_

The girl looks at you for a minute, contemplating. _~And if I’m not healthy?~_

You shrug with a smile. You can feel the itchiness behind your eyes easing, letting you know that _finally_ the last burst of caffeine and taurine and sugar is kicking in. _~Then I make you healthy so you can go see Kara.~_

Kortni nods to you then. _~When do we start?~_

You jump to your feet in one swift movement, proud that you can actually pull it off after weeks of training. You notice in the back of your mind that Kortni doesn’t startle as she scrambles to her feet too. _~Right now,~_ you tell her as you motion to the bed.

She lies on it again and you go to your briefcase to start preparing everything you need.

You will start with the least invasive stuff and work your way up. Looking at the girl, at how she is holding herself, at how she is ready to pass out, you doubt that you will need to use any Kryptonite.

If your instincts are correct, the girl has blown her powers, just like Kal often has. You remember the first time that happened when you were barely fifteen, and he went to your parents’ home to get better… he was weaker than you then, and to this day you remember with a smirk how you managed to give him a shiner on his first night there.

So, just like Kal, you think the Kryptonite won’t be needed.

But, as you eye the small lead contained in the middle of your briefcase, you know you will use it again if it comes to it.

You close your eyes and elevate a little prayer to Rao, to give you strength, to guide you as you come close to Kortni.

_Hear me, oh Brightest Light, hear my humble prayer. For in this day I’m tripping, I’m falling._

_~When darkness comes closer and my heart is beating the loudest, help me face the burdens ahead,~_ the girl says softly as you think the next part of the prayer and you realize you were speaking out loud without realizing it.

You startle, making her widen her eyes at you.

 _~I’m sorry,~_ she says hastily. _~I didn’t mean to-~_

 _~Shhh,~_ you call to her softly, calming. Your unoccupied hand comes to hover over one of hers, just shy of touching. _~It’s fine.~_

She nods, barely, biting her lower lip. You can practically hear her hesitant thoughts, taste her fear… understand her weariness. Rao, looking at her is like looking at your younger self.

 _~ Hear me, oh Brightest Light, hear my humble prayer,~_ you start again with a small smile, an invitation.

Kortni smiles back, wobbly and shy, and you take it as a win. _~For in this day I’m tripping, I’m falling.~_

Your smile widens as you start the machines around the bed, joining her on the next verse. _~When darkness comes closer and my heart is beating the loudest, help me face the burdens ahead._

_~Help me stay strong in the roaring storm, never drown in my sorrows, never be struck by the pain. Help me bend to my fate, unmoving, unbroken, complete in the end._

_~As you know my heart, my thoughts and my soul, guide me, oh master. Light my path, I surrender to your will._

_~I surrender to your calling,~_ you finish together and you notice that the girl is a little bit relaxed and a lot calmer.

Time to get to work, then.

Time to start getting answers.

Rao will guide you and he will make sure you don’t mess it up too badly.

You already messed up once, you know he won’t let you fall again.

XxXxX

Your memories from the last twenty-four hours are hazy at best.

You remember most vividly your first visit with Kortni… but other than that the hours blur together and the tests result, the numbers on the machines, the countless chemical names in your sheets, they are all a big mess of something you can’t discern.

Now that Maggie made you sleep for around five hours, you are ready to keep going.

Being awakened to know that their captor was taken, though, well… that certainly made you alert and eager in a second.

“What do we know?” Hank’s voice resonates in the control room. You are awaiting Diana’s arrival with the prisoner in less than half an hour and Hank is debriefing the teams that will engage them.

“The prisoner looks like a woman,” Vasquez reads from her tablet. “The use of Kryptonite confirms she is Kryptonian. Suspect looks in her late thirties, athletic built and considerable stature. She was knocked out by the Amazons with the help of Kryptonite. She hasn’t awoken yet. They have found several knives on her… Agent Coulson Jr. informs she looked wary and tired when they ambushed her and Agent May reports she arrived flying.”

You and Maggie are paying close attention, but both of you are forbidden to join the teams, even after the prisoner is put in a cell. Maggie may have the training, but she lacks the clearance for engaging a hostile alien. You, on the other hand, have the approval to do so but lack the training… Hank refuses to put either of you in any danger.

“Are the girls awake yet?” Hank’s next question is directed at you.

Ever since he scolded you, you’ve had trouble when his attention is focused on you. You have been helping coordinate the team in Alaska, and you have been around him when he’s been debriefed so you could know what is happening, but having his eyes on you, having his ears trained to your voice, makes your heart beat too fast and too hard and you feel like fleeing and you feel like hiding from him.

You haven’t spoken since he snapped at you and you don’t want to give him any reason to continue doing so, so you have avoided him as much as you could.

“Kara’s still out, sir,” you inform him with your back as stiff as you can make it, not wanting to show any weakness before him, before your colleagues. “And the girl, Kortni, woke once since we transferred her. She ate some fruit and was out again before I could ask her more questions.”

You know you had to ask several questions, not only because Hank has ordered you to, but because you need to know what the hell happened in those five weeks Kara was taken… and you also need to know all about Kortni… and not only for intellectual purposes.

Hank nods at you and you breathe easy at knowing he’s satisfied with your answer.

You don’t think you could face more of his disappointment.

Next to you, Maggie gently squeezes your pinky. She does so with little force and with just one finger. You don’t look down, but you think she is using her middle finger, by the way you feel the stone in her engagement ring scratch your skin softly.

You smile, barely. Your wife is showing you support in the only way she can with all the eyes on you and Hank.

You squeeze her finger back and she retreats her hand, just in time for you to catch a slight softening in Hank’s eyes before he turns to Agent Coulson Sr.

“I want you to test the cell again, Agent,” he tells him. “We need to make sure the red sun’s radiation is working at all times… we don’t know how strong is she or what powers she can or cannot use. Have a case of Kryptonite at hand. We can’t risk it.”

Agent Coulson Sr. nods. “It will be done, sir,” he tells him as he motions for Agents Fitz and Simmons to go near him.

“Team Gamma,” he barks out. “You are in charge of securing the prisoner. Team Delta, get ready to move to Alaska and relieve team Theta. We are not leaving the place unguarded until we are certain there is no one else involved in this. You leave in three hours.”

A chorus of ‘Yes, sir’ are heard all around, making you know that this little debriefing is almost done.

“Team Zeta, prepare everything for Team Rho’s return. They have been in the field for almost twenty-four hours.”

“Yes, sir!”

“The rest,” he says loudly to all the gathered to hear. “Dismissed.”

That was over twenty minutes ago, and now, now you are perplexed.

During your training, you have seen many things happening within the Department of Extra-Normal Operations.

Granted, you are the only recruit that knows what you are training for and that has allowed you to see things the others can’t.

You know they accuse the trainers of showing favoritism towards you, and you are not shy to let them see that is somewhat true. That happens when they train around seven hours compared to your almost fifteen hours, both physically and mentally. You are way ahead of them and you are already an Agent while they are only focusing on being picked for a job they don’t know about.

You have no friends within their ranks, but then again, you don’t need to be their friend right now. Most of them will leave the program before they are informed of what they are training for… heck ten of them have already quit for various reasons.

So, no. You don’t really need to be their friend at the moment. Once they are truly accepted, once they have clearance and once they are deemed trustworthy, that’s when you will be able to make friends with them… even if you know that by then you will be their superior.

You have seen so many things happen in the DEO and that is why you are presented with a strange mixture of amazement and bewilderment when a normal looking woman is brought in, held between Agents May and Coulson Jr to prevent her from escaping. On her wrists, they have put a pair of thick, green-glowing handcuffs and they are marching her like how you have seen they do other prisoners. She is pale, shaking, a side-effect for being near to so much Kryptonite.

Even so, as she walks through the base, she holds her head high and her spine straight. She may be dragged, but she never stumbles or trip. You look how she carries herself like she commands the place, like she’s the one that outnumbers you.

In a way, she is right. In a way, she is the superior being all around, but technology and training and planning and stubbornness and preparation allow you all to take her down and keep her down… mostly. She is ready to fight, you can see it, she is not giving up and that amazes you.

You have seen several aliens and humans being brought in and this is the first time you don’t see a defeated or a crazed look in the perpetrator’s eyes.

Often, more often than you would like, the ones brought in are rough aliens that haven’t adjusted to life on Earth and that they simply don’t know better. They are brought in and they don’t put much of a fight, knowing it’s a lost cause, knowing the last refuge they have found is not welcoming to them.

That’s why the DEO is an amazing thing, you believe. They actually listen to them and they find a place where they can be themselves while adapting to human life. They work so hard so organizations such as CADMUS can’t hunt them down, can’t hurt them.

Right now that knowledge doesn’t really make you feel better.

Maggie tenses besides you as the woman passes by you. You can see from the corner of your eye how your wife clenches her jaw, how her fists tighten and how she’s practically vibrating with the effort of staying put.

You wish Kate was around, she could help you contain Maggie if necessary, but she’s on her way from Metropolis after unsuccessfully trying to contact Kal. The bastard left the country and he never let anyone know where he is… not even Batman or the rest of the Justice League were informed where he went to.

Stupid son of a bitch… he is really a deplorable sorry excuse of a being.

“I want to kill her,” Maggie mutters the moment the woman is out of sight.

You eye your wife and, somehow, you can’t feel what she is feeling at this very moment.

It’s weird, really, that you know you are angry too, that you want that woman to pay, that you _need_ her to pay… but… you don’t really feel murderous like your wife is feeling right now.

Maybe you are repressing again. Maybe you are bottling it all up like you used to do when you still lived with your parents.

“Agent Danvers!” Hank’s voice calls to you some feet away. “I need you to check on the prisoner as soon as she is secured.”

You put your hand on Maggie’s shoulder, squeezing lightly. “Yes, sir!”

Hank looks at you two with a frown and you tense. You don’t know what’s going through his mind, but you don’t like the ball that forms in the pit of your stomach at it.

You know that you have disappointed him, but you also know that he will do nothing for now.

You are his only Agent able to identify if the woman is Kryptonian or not… you are the only one with the knowledge to assess this threat.

It would have been preferable if Susan was back to inform you of what she found in Midvale, sure, but you have spent a day and a half analyzing Kara and Kortni’s information and you have seen your parents’ work thousand of times so you at least know what you are working with.

“I’ll go see her now,” you murmur to Maggie.

“I’m coming with you,” she says in response. Her tone is hard and unyielding and you know it will be hard for you to convince to take a step back.

“You are not cleared to be around,” you tell her softly. That’s the same response you and Kate had gotten countless times when you wanted to do something, but you weren’t allowed.

“Detective Danvers,” Hank’s voice is closer now and you both jump when he materializes behind you. “Please accompany me. We will watch the procedure in the observation bay.” He glares at Maggie for a moment before stalking off.

Maggie deflates when he’s gone. Now that Hank requested her presence it’s impossible for her to go with you.

“I’ll be fine,” you assure her. “Don’t worry.”

“I know, I know.” She racks a hand through her hair. “I love you,” she tells you. “Please be careful.”

You grin and you know she can see how fake it is when she just frown. “I love you too, wifey. I promise I’ll be careful. I’m so ready for this.”

XxXxX

You are not so ready for this.

Agents May and Coulson (both Sr. and Jr.) are on standby by the cell’s door. The two women, Agents May and Coulson Jr. are handling guns while Coulson Sr. is holding the switch that will open the glass for you.

You can see that inside the room two other guards are keeping vigil, but you don’t know their names.

A low hum can be heard and the softest of red lights let you know that, even when the handcuffs were removed, the woman is being subdued by the radiation this fake red sun emits. She is hunched over in the sole bench inside the cell, head down and posture tense. You don’t know if it’s due the Kryptonite’s traces that must still be in her body or is it because she is expecting some kind of confrontation.

Either way, you are ready to be alert at all times. This is the first time you use the red lamps and you worry they won’t pull through.

“Ready?” Coulson Sr. asks you.

You nod and the other agents aim to the woman’s head. Coulson Sr. then opens the door for you, prompting the woman to look up.

You take a fortifying breath and enter the room, briefcase in hand.

You are so glad one of the firsts things they taught you were interrogation techniques and enough self-defense to see to this little procedure done.

(You make a mental note to buy Kate a huge bucket of chocolate-mint ice cream as soon as she is back, you are so glad she made you start your training as soon as Kara went missing.)

 _~Greetings,~_ you tell her as the glass door closes behind you and you don’t miss the brief look of surprise in her eyes. The information Team Rho sent implicated the woman neither spoke nor understood English, so Kryptonian is your next best shot. _~My name is_ Alex Sawyer, _would you tell me yours?~_

_~You speak my language.~_

Good Rao, the woman speaks Kryptonian. For a moment, you wished your little experiment would let you know that whoever this is, she was not Kryptonian… you don’t know what to do with this information.

 _~I do. Name?~_ You need to be calm and as unmoved as you can.

You can feel the eyes of the two guards inside the room, keeping you safe and the woman in place, but this is your first field operation (even if you’re still inside the DEO’s facilities) and you need to woman up.

_~Where are the girls?~_

_~That’s none of your business,~_ you tell her plainly. _~Now, your name?~_

You see the woman ready to stand and you tense, preparing for trouble, accurately aware how the guards lift their rifles to aim. A rattling sound catches your attention and when she is forced back down, you notice that the handcuffs may be gone, but that she is chained to the bench in such a way that she can’t really move.

So that is why they are not constantly aiming at her.

Something in your stomach swirls at the sight of this woman chained and vulnerable. Part of you feels it’s wrong and sick, but another part of you, the bigger part of you, feels vindicated seeing her like this.

You mentally shake yourself.

You can’t think like this.

 _~They are my business!~_ the woman snarls, trying to stand again, but failing. _~Where are they?~_

You can’t help but narrow your eyes. You know you can’t let yourself become engaged, but still, this is the woman who took your daughter and kept another child for who knows how long. _~Name?~_

The woman scowls and you can almost see the gears working in her brain. She is good, appearing unconcerned and just a tad annoyed, but you know that she is weighing her options.

_~General Astra In-Ze, Commander of the Second Reckon Platoon,_ _identification code 208572, to serve Rao for days past, for the now, for those to come.~_

You weren’t around for Kortni’s introduction, but Renee passed along her notes and that is the reason that your blood freezes and boils at the same time.

Kortni was part of Krypton’s Military Guild, she was a soldier, she was no doubt trained just like Kal since she was old enough to be taken into military life…

… and this woman was, is, a higher rank within that very same Guild.

This woman has, you are deadly sure of it, great power over Kortni and now you know, you just _know,_ she has abused it.

You don’t know the whole story, you don’t know what the hell happened, but you _know_ this woman is responsible for Kara’s condition and for Kortni’s starvation.

And, still, you can’t do anything until Hank and whoever else gets to decide her fate come to a verdict.

 _~General In-Ze,~_ you tell her coldly. _~I’m here to take some samples.~_ You put your briefcase, the one you used on Kortni, on a small table near the door. You make eye contact with Agent May through the glass and you wonder if they put her in this particular cell, made out of unbreakable glass, for anything other than making her nervous.

The holding cells, the ones most prisoners go to are in another place altogether and they are all made from hard rock and an alloy of maybe fifteen metals. They are impossible to escape and impossible to get in. This cell, however, is like a showing case that you think you could escape from given enough time and a good enough distraction.

You made sure the red sun transmitter is mobile… so, why did they installed it _here_?

_~I would appreciate if you let me do my job, General, so you can be put to trial once we know you are healthy.~_

The woman lets you approach with the needles, the small piece of Kryptonite is in its case in your lab coat's pocket, ready to be used if the red sun is not enough for breaking her skin. You notice, though that she is frowning.

 _~Trial?~_ she asks, but thankfully she doesn’t protest when you quickly jab her to take some blood. _~I committed no crime and even if I did, I don’t abide by your laws.~_

You can feel heat starting to creep up under your collar… but you decide to ignore her. No matter that you feel like iron is cursing through your veins, like heat is pooling behind your eyes. It doesn’t matter that you want to yell and scream and beat her into a pulp…

You are already on thin ice with Hank, you can’t really afford to kill this woman… not only it wouldn’t help you understand why Kara was taken, but it will taint you in a way you don’t think you are ready to deal with right now.

You are not stupid… you are training to be a field agent and your job description will, at some point, force you to take a life.

But, no matter how much you crave it right now, your first kill will not be this so-called General.

… if you have your way… your first kill will never come…

 _~Human,~_ the woman, Astra In-Ze, calls to you.

 _~My name is Alex Sawyer, General.~_ You use the title with sarcasm.

She narrows her eyes at you. _~Human,~_ she calls to you again. _~Where are the girls?~_

Ignore her. Ignore her. Ignore her. Ignore her. Ignore her.

_~Human.~_

You clench your jaw as you tidy up your instruments. You have three blood vials and you didn’t need to use the Kryptonite. You could use a spit sample too, but at this point, you need to get out of here before you pummel her to death.

You turn to head out, once your briefcase is packed and the samples are properly labeled. _~They will guide you to your more… permanent quarters in a while, I think,~_ you say, gesturing to Agents May and Coulson Jr., who have kept their guns trained on the woman’s head, and Coulson Sr. who is ready to open the door at a moment’s notice. You nod to her, once, in farewell.

If you are lucky, you will never see her again after this. You are too involved to be part of the team tasked to resolve the case and for that you’re grateful. You want to bash her head against the glass wall and hit until she is unconscious and then some more.

 _~I will find them!~_ she yells, suddenly, struggling against her chains. You motion to Coulson Sr. to open the door, you really need to get out before you do something stupid. _~I will find my nieces even if that’s the last thing I do!~_

You freeze at that, even when the door is open now and you need to leave and you need to ignore her and you need to let the others handle it.

_~They are my blood! They are mine!~_

You can’t engage her.

_~Kortni will free me! They both are better with me!~_

You can’t.

_~You filthy, weak human! You are not her mother!~_

You flinch.

You turn around, the grip on your briefcase tightening.

 _~What?~_ Your voice sound strained to your ears, and you don’t need to see yourself to know you are flushed.

The woman smirks, no doubt happy to have struck a nerve. _~We have watched you, human. How you treat Kara, how you make her weak. She is one of the last daughters of the great Houses of Ze and Van… she deserves better than you, filthy rat. She needs to be with me, her blood.~_

This… this… this woman this thing, thinks she knows you? Does she really thinks she knows anything about Kara? Does she really think she can take your daughter?

 _~You are insane.~_ Because amidst all the anger, all the rightful fury, you can see clearly that she is talking nonsense, that’s she is delusional and so, so, so, stupid if she thinks you will give Kara up.

Her eyes shine with something you can’t decipher. _~Insane?~_ How her tongue wraps around the word makes it sound stale, off, strange. _~Your language is off, human.~_

You scoff. _~Forgive me for learning a dead language off books… I did my best.~_ You don’t know why you are still talking to her, but the brief look of surprise is back.

_~Rao’s tongue is not dead as long as one of us keeps breathing.~_

_~And after Kal-El showed to be such a bastard, not worth of His light, I made sure Kara knew it.~_

The woman is the one that scoffs next. _~And you probably think you have done your best for her, too… Doing one’s best is not enough, human. She needs to be with her people. Her family.~_

You can’t help it. In two long strides, you are by her side again, the briefcase banging loudly in the metal bench. You are satisfied that she startles at the sound. _~Listen to me,~_ you growl. _~Kara is my daughter. She has been my daughter for nine years. I have dedicated my life to her so you don’t come here and tell me I’m not her family. She is my kin, she is my blood and tears and flesh.~_

The two agents that were keeping an eye on you are now grabbing your arms, tugging you away.

 _~Yet you are still human,~_ she snarls. _~You are weak. You are pathetic, dumb, a worthless worm not able to raise a princess!~_

The guards tug at you harder, making you stumble backwards, yet, you can’t be deterred. _~I love her, you cow!~_

 _~Love is not enough! Love has never been enough!~_ She is suddenly calm, her face brightening in realization. _~But that’s it, isn’t it… Love is the only thing you have to offer her… you can’t give her anything, but your smelly, pathetic, love.~_

With a mighty yank, the arm that’s holding on to your briefcase get loose from the guard. The briefcase impacts solidly with the woman’s cheekbone, its rattling climbing up all the way from your wrist to your brain. _~You, filthy bug!~_

“Enough!” More hands are grabbing you, tugging you away from her. The woman is blinking, dazed, but her eyes start glowing bright red… the telltale she is getting ready to use her heat vision.

“Get her out of here!” you recognize the older Coulson’s voice yelling as you are practically carried away from the place.

“Dammit! Leave me alone!”

You are dropped unceremoniously on the ground, Coulson Jr. yanking you up and pulling you away, down the hallway.

“You did good,” Coulson Jr. says once the cell is out of sight. Her gun is holstered and you noticed that you are shaking.

Whether it’s from trying to control your anger or for the effort walking, suddenly you are glad Coulson Jr. is keeping you upright even if she is going to leave a bruise on your bicep.

“I did?” you own voice sounds too far away, still too angry, still too shaken.

Your vision tunnels, you can only see ahead.

You tighten your grip on your briefcase, looking to ground yourself if even a little.

“Yeah,” she says and you blink.

You are no longer near the prisoner.

You are halfway to the lab.

You still can only look ahead.

“Thanks, Agent Coulson,” you hear yourself say.

“Call me Skye,” she tells you and you turn to look at her, finally snapping out of it. “Calling me and Dad Agent Coulson is confusing.”

You are now in the lab and you can see the scientists assigned to you working all around with the girls’ samples.

“Skye?” you ask, confused and dazed. The walk here was hard and your brain seems to be kick starting in a weird way. “I thought your name is Daisy…?”

She laughs. “Welcome back!” she says with a small grin. “Yeah, they named me Daisy, but FitzSimmons and the rest call me Skye… so, call me Skye,” she finishes with a little shrug.

You smile wobbly at her cheery nature. “Thanks, Skye,” you tell her honestly.

The young woman blinks at that. “What for?”

You gesture around, vaguely. You don’t know if you are thanking her for dragging you away, for preventing you from doing something terrible, for making sure you made it back to the lab without getting lost…

Skye’s eyes softened in understanding. “That was a test, you know that, right?”

It’s your turn to blink, confused for a second. It’s your turn too, to have understanding dawning on you.

Of course, it was a stupid test.

Any lab tech, anyone with the slightest of medical instructions, would be able to do as you just did.

Yes, Hank may need you to break their code, to analyze their blood, to come up with medical answers… but that’s done in a lab… you didn’t need to face the prisoner for you to work with the samples.

“Hey,” Skye’s hand is again at your shoulder. “You did great. You did the job. You proved the boss what you’re made of.”

“… I wanted to kill her,” you confess in a small whisper. The briefcase weighs too heavily in your hand and your head is still swirling. “I wasn’t supposed to engage.”

“And you engaged.” She shrugs again. “Most of us want to kill someone at some point and yet here we are. We get tempted, and yeah, sometimes it’s hard. But if we fall, we get up again. Don’t dwell on it. I’m sure her interrogation will go smoother now and you won’t get to see her again. Whatever her punishment is, she won’t cross paths with you again.”

“… she said the girl, Kortni, will free her.”

Skye’s eyes widen at that. “Okay, thanks for the heads up. I’ll make sure to tell May to up the security.”

You bite your lip. “Do you think that the girl is capable of that?”

Skye shrugs once again. “If we’re all alive and well is because we listen… she may be bluffing, but we won’t take the chance.”

You smile at that. Is good to be around competent, intelligent, people. “Thanks, again, for not letting me roam without a course.”

Skye laughs. “Don’t mention it. Really, don’t. Simmons will get jealous again and last time she convinced the chef not to give me pasta for weeks. Weeks, Sawyer, _weeks.”_

You snort. So far you hadn’t interacted much with the assets other than your trainers and the ones directly involved in Kara’s case. If Skye Coulson is proof of how the other agents are, you will be happy working here.

“Alex,” you offer her your hand to shake. “Please.”

“Alex Please, it was amazing walking with you,” she says with a small smirk. “But, I need to go before Jemma realizes I haven’t checked in.”

You smile as she gives you a small salute before sprinting away. You don’t know if Simmons and Skye are an item or something, but it’s nice seeing the people around you doing their job with a smile on their faces and without letting the gloomy air of the kind of operations the DEO runs spoil them.

Right now, you can’t feel that love nor that sunny disposition, but once this whole mess gets sorted, you think you can really be one of them and enjoy it like they do.

With a small shake of your head, you enter the lab and are accosted by a frantic technician.

“Ma’am,” McMillan tells you hurriedly.  It still amazes you that you are a junior agent, that you are not even cleared for combat or anything like that, and even so, Hank is putting you in charge off your own lab. “We have a Code Blue in room nine.”

Your mind blanks at the room number. That’s your daughter’s room. Panic surges in your chest when you remember what Code Blue means.

Patient in distress. Urgent need of tranquilizers.

You pass the briefcase to another technician, Roberts, you think, as you rush out the room again.

“Which girl?”

“Your daughter, ma’am.”

Shit.

XxXxX

The first thing you notice nearing your kid’s hallway is the frantic crying.

The second thing you notice is Renee standing outside the room, a tired looking Kortni held firmly against her chest. The girl is slumped onto her, and you see that Renee doesn’t have to put much of an effort to have her contained.

The third thing is how the warning for the sun lamps is blaring… meaning that the sun lamps are still on and, knowing your wife, that Maggie is right now trying to calm Kara in an environment not fit for humans.

“Damn it, Mags,” you curse under your breath as you slid to a stop outside the room. You quickly punch the code that will turn off the lamps before running in.

“Alex!” True to your thoughts, Maggie is kneeling on the floor, near a curled up, crying, and levitating Kara. “She won’t let me get close!”

You nod. Looking around, trying to find what has Kara so worked up. “What happened?” you ask as quietly as you can while still being heard over Kara’s wailing.

It’s been years since Kara got like this.

“She woke up!” she yells, and you want to wince at how Kara’s cries intensify. “She startled and started crying!”

You bite your lip as you kneel beside Maggie. You reach to touch your girl, but you immediately retreat when she looks up with glowing eyes.

 _~N-No!~_ she yells.

Oh. That’s how she is keeping Maggie at bay.

 _~Kara…~_ you try to coo to her.

Her eyes brighten and for a moment you think she is going to fry you alive. _~No!~_ she sobs out. _~I w-want my Mama!~_

You look to Maggie then, confused.

Your wife shakes her head. “She has been up no more than five minutes… she has been asking for you the entire time.”

But she won’t let you, or her Mommy, touch her.

That only means she is still half asleep… and you don’t need to have superpowers to know she is having a nightmare.

 _~Hey, baby,~_ you call softly to your kid. _~I’m here, baby, I’m here.~_

Kara can’t stop crying and you see how she’s starting to struggle for air.

 _~_ _My heart shall see light,~_ you sing to her, gently. Even when it’s too quiet, you know she can hear you easily. _~Our hearts shall be forever. Go forth, rest in dreamland.~_

Kara’s wailing stops at that, just enough to take a shaky breath, but she’s still crying. Hard.

_~I_ _'ll soon be there_ _. Wait for me, my love. You know I'm here. To join you in dreams.~_

Kara looks at you, her eyes no longer glowing, and you stare intently into baby blue as her pupils start to contract.

_~You have nothing to fear. Fiery sun, begone. Moonlight, protect us. Heaven's star, shine through.~_

She is whimpering now, her guttural crying reduced to quietness.

_~Flame of hell, vanish. Lonely voice, cold and bare. Wandering alone._ _Asleep, yet awake.~_

You open your arms and Kara doesn’t flinch. She allows you to crawl to her, to put your fingertips to her cheek.

_~Safe in dreams. Shelter from the storm. Here_ _.~_

She is quiet now, but she is still crying and she is still struggling to breathe. Her little chest rises and falls erratically and she is starting to sway.

You reach her and pull her to you, with soft, slow, gentle moves. _~Shh, baby, shh…~_ You embrace her, grateful that she doesn’t fight you.

She doesn’t embrace you either.

“Her breathing is too erratic,” Maggie says, thankfully quiet, as to not startle Kara.

You nod. Right now, the best thing that could happen was for Kara to pass out, allow her body to breathe without her hysterics, but you know she won’t pass out… no… your baby is too stubborn to pass out.

“Pass me the sheet,” you tell Maggie. She gets up quickly, without question.

Kara is wearing a thin gown and you waste no time in taking it off, leaving her in just her panties.

Maggie hands you the sheet and you, in return, give Kara to her. “Keep her upright. Put pressure on her chest.”

“Alex?” she does as asked, but she’s still looking at you like of you had grown a second head.

You guess taking off your shirt and bra in such a public space is the reason for that.

“Give her here,” you open your arms and Maggie doesn’t hesitate to pass her along.

You press Kara’s chest to yours. Her crying is over, but her breathing is still not right and she’s starting to fail her arms. The odd tear still runs down her cheeks.

“I need you to wrap the sheet around us,” you tell Maggie. “As tight as you can.”

“… Alex…”

“Trust me, Maggie. I’ve done this before.”

Yes. And it hadn’t been pretty.

The first time, Kara was three and her gums hurt terribly. The medicine stopped working and she was hysterical for hours. You had to resort to Google to look for a way to calm her down.

The second time, you knew it worked. It didn’t make it easier. It was the day before you left for college. You didn’t sleep and neither did Kara.

The third, you were home, visiting for the holidays. To this day you don’t know why she cried, but it took you the longest to calm her down that time.

“Tighter, Mags, tighter.”

And the fourth, when she woke up in the hospital after being hit by that truck. She was in pain, confused, weakened and she just saw your mom die. You did then like you do now, wrap her tightly to your chest, to let her feel you, truly feel you.

Maggie does the last knot. It’s uncomfortably tight, you can barely breathe, but that’s the point. 

Kara can’t move around, she is trapped against you. She can feel your heart, beating loudly. She can feel your chest rising and falling. Her arms are trapped at her sides and you can feel her struggling less and less.

 _~Ma-Mama,~_ her voice is so tiny, but you are so, so, so glad to hear it.

_~I’m here Kara, I’m here.~_

Your arms are free and you embrace Kara closer to you, running your fingers against her scalp, as hard as you dare.

Right now, Kara needs to _feel_. She needs to know you are with her. She needs to anchor herself.

From the corner of your eye, you notice movement. Maggie is gone. She is gone to close the door, ushering Renee and Kortni inside.

You are about to ask why, when you notice her.

Somehow, for some reason, the woman who took Kara is at the doorway, watching you.

You manage to glimpse her, standing between Wonder Woman and Hank, with her hands bound, just before Maggie’s closed the door.

_~Mama!~_

You focus back to Kara, to how her chest is moving with yours, with how she’s buried her face in your collarbone.

Your skin feels sticky where it meets Kara’s, but at least she is breathing.

She is breathing.

_~I’m here, baby, I’m here.~_

You don’t stop running your fingernails on her scalp, but you do it more gently now.

She is calming down.

_~Mama…~_

Her voice is fainter, but it’s no longer distressed.

_~Yes, my love, yes. I’m here. I’m here.~_

_~I’m…~_ she takes a shuddering breath. _~I’m… I’m…~_

She is struggling with her voice… she is struggling to think clearly… she is struggling with how her brain is reacting to all this mess… she’s confused, still out of it.

 _~Can you tell me what’s the most important thing?~_ you ask her gently, trying to get her to focus.

You are aware that Renee has put Kortni on the bed. The other kid looks too scared to move, to try to approach.

Maggie is sitting next to you again, one of her hands rubbing Kara’s back up and down up and down up and down with enough force you can feel it.

_~That I- That I…~_

_~Yes, baby? That you what?~_

_~… that I’m… safe. That I’m safe.~_ The words stumble for her mouth and you can feel how her new tears are wetting your bare skin. _~That I’m safe.~_

 _~And you are, Kara,~_ Maggie tells her. _~You are safe now.~_

 _~Mommy…~_ she whimpers.

 _~Shh, baby, shh. You are safe. We are so proud of you.~_ You rock her, just a little, trying to bring her down, trying to lull her to sleep.

_~We are so damn proud of you.~_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Can't. Write. Note. Too. Busy. Crying._
> 
>  
> 
> _My heart hurts for Kori, for Alex, for Kara, for Maggie and for everyone in the family...However, my heart hurts for little Kara the most, and hats off to Maggie she risked cancer just to help her Sunshine._
> 
> _Dear readers if you haven't had the privilege of watching Wonder Woman, go watch it, it's AWESOME!!!!!_
> 
> _If there is any grammatical error or spelling mistake please let us know, it is difficult to beta read while you are crying, everything becomes a bit blurry._
> 
> _Also, I have chapter 26 in my hands and it's about 40/45% ready so, I will be sending chapter 26 to Char soon._
> 
> _Read you later._
> 
>  
> 
> _Hey, don't forget to send Char or me prompts._
> 
>  
> 
> ... and I'm 5k into chapter 27, so we'll moving forwards!!!
> 
> So... Kara's awake (finally). What do you guys think about her waking up crying for her Mama?
> 
> Too dramatic?
> 
> Not dramatic enough?
> 
> Let us see what you think in the comments below!!!
> 
> And come bother us @charis-chan and @reinakonafate on tumblr!!


	26. Illusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _~Come on, baby. You need to eat. The canteen is not that bad.~_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Kara shakes her head, hiding her face against your collarbone.
> 
> Kortni shifts in the towel beside you, still asleep.
> 
> You sigh and make sure your arms don’t stop making contact with her.
> 
> This is the first time you ever had trouble feeding your kid.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where Kara suffers, Alex suffers and Kate is Kate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta love to @reinakonanofate, for being her amazing self and being like 70% responsible for what you're about to read.
> 
> She also left this for you guys, she said it made sense in our story context?
> 
>  
> 
> _"They say a dream takes only a second or so. And yet in that second, a man can live a lifetime._
> 
>  
> 
> _He can suffer and die and who's to say which is the greater reality, the one we know or the one in dreams, between heaven, the sky, the Earth in the twilight zone."_
> 
>  
> 
> I don't know why she thought that. *innocent whistling*

_~Come on, baby. You need to eat. The canteen is not that bad.~_

Kara shakes her head, hiding her face against your collarbone.

Kortni shifts in the towel beside you, still asleep.

You sigh and make sure your arms don’t stop making contact with her.

This is the first time you ever had trouble feeding your kid.

She might be fussy about her greens, she might turn her nose up to certain sweets, but she never ever refuses food when it’s offered to her.

 _~Kara,~_ you coo into her hair. _~Why don’t you want to go? If it’s too loud we can eat here.~_

 _~Mama, hold me,~_ your baby whimpers.

_~I’m holding you, baby. I’m not going anywhere.~_

Ever since she woke up… ever since you helped her through her panic attack, she has been latched to you.

The sheet is long gone, you no longer need it to make Kara feel surrounded in you, in your warmth, in your smell. You no longer need it to help Kara breathe, to help her anchor herself in the _now._

But, even when the sheet is gone, your arms around her are not.

She knows she is back with you, the earnest crying she did when that fact sunk in is enough proof of that. She knows her Mommy is around too, but she only wants you.

You feel bad for Maggie, but Maggie says it is only natural that she asks only for you.

Kara lets herself be touched by Maggie, by Renee, but she never lets go of your shirt, of your hand, of your pants. She demands that you are always touching her back somehow. Always.

She refuses to leave your side and, as much as you love knowing she is around, as much as having her like a burr that won’t come out, you are worried about what is making her be like this.

She asks to be held. So, you hold her.

You never stop holding her one way or another.

_~Kara, would you eat if I eat with you?~_

Kara shifts on your lap. You are sitting outside, in a small shelter they set up for you at the DEO’s rooftop.

Kara’s attachment to you means that she can no longer lie down in the sun lamps unless you are ready to get skin cancer in the next three years. As such, Skye and her girlfriend showed you the way to the rooftop, where you have spent the last couple of hours, trying to feed Kara _and_ sunbathing with her.

Kortni refused to be left behind and so she is lying next to you. She is still weak and even though her energy levels are improving steadily, she is taking longer than Kara to bounce back. She is wearing a thin shift someone got somewhere and with the real sun hitting her she is soaking up as much sun as she can too.

Kara, on the other hand, is mostly naked.

(Having your kid mostly naked, with just her panties on, would cause you conflict in any other time. Right now, it only makes you happy that Kara has never shown any shyness around strangers… she really needs the skin contact and the sun.

That doesn’t mean you don’t cover her when other people come around, though.)

 _~I’m not hungry,~_ she tells you, moments before her stomach rumbles.

You chuckle at that. _~Really, baby? I just heard a monster that’s threatening to eat your tummy.~_

Kara fidgets. _~It hurts.~_

You are alert at that. _~What hurts, love?~_

_~My tummy.~_

_~That’s because you haven’t eaten anything… you had a little water Mommy gave you, but your tummy is empty. That’s why it hurts.~_

Kara shakes her head. “No, Mama… hurts.”

You kiss the top of her head. “We don’t need to move, love. Mommy can bring us some applesauce… it’s going to be good for your tummy… can you try?”

“Don’t want to…”

You sigh again. “Do you mind if I ask her to bring _me_ some fruit? I’m hungry.”

Kara shrugs in your arms.

“Okay, baby, okay,” you whisper in her hair. You cuddle her closer, freeing one hand so you can text Maggie. “Are you sure that you don’t want anything?”

“Uh-uh.”

You order apples, applesauce, orange juice and some bananas… you _are_ hungry, but you need to make Kara eats something. _Anything._

Fruit is the only food you can think to give her right now.

_~When the sun goes down, you are going to have a shower, okay?~_

Kara nods, moving around so her back is pressed to your front. _~Mama bath with me?~_

You bite your lip. You hate the way Kara is speaking. She is talking like a kid half her age.

She is acting like a kid half her age.

She is demanding things from you that she hasn’t demanded since before she started school.

You dread the days to come when you finally make Kara, or Kortni, open about what happened during those weeks. You know she needs therapy, maybe both kids do. They need professional help because you are also painfully aware that you are not prepared to help them in the ways they need. In the ways Kara needs.

The only thing you can do, as the woman who took her said, is give her love and comfort… and, right now, you don’t think that is enough.

You look to your left. And Kortni… you are a stranger to her. She is a stranger to you. You have no idea how you are going to help _her._

_~Yes, baby. We can shower together.~_

The lab’s results are far from conclusive, but what you have discovered, what you think you have discovered, is that the girls share _something_ at a molecular level. You can’t call it DNA for the Kryptonian markers are alien to you, but there is some kind of match in their blood.

They share a less matching marker with the woman, so her claim as their aunt can be true. Everything points that they are all related, the kids more so to each other than to their ‘aunt’.

The only one that could shed some light on this is Kal and the asshole is still missing in action. You swear you are pushing him into the red-sun room and kick his sorry excuse of an ass… even if the red-sun room has proven not to work as well as you hoped.

“Hey, loves.” Maggie’s voice reaches you and you look to see her exit the roof-door. She’s carrying Kara’s backpack and you have to smile at that.

You have tried to bring Kara’s things now that she is awake and sleeping really short naps in between long periods of being awake. So far, Krypto, her backpack and the book she was reading have made their way into the clinic room. Maggie also brought one fragrant orchid to make the room ‘less hospital-y’ and so far you think it’s worked.

(Part of you feel awful you can’t give Kortni anything to comfort her. The stuff that was brought from the ship and that was deemed hers is still on your desk at the lab, ready to be inspected and to be declared safe.

You hate that you _need_ to declare her stuff safe before she can have it and you hate it is taking you so long to inspect it, but you refuse to let anyone touching it but you.)

“Hey, Mommy,” you greet your wife when she comes to give you a quick kiss.

“Hey, Mama.” Maggie sits thigh to thigh with you and you smile widely when Kara shifts to face Maggie.

“Hi.” Kara’s voice is small and raspy. Your heart soars when Kara reaches to Maggie, crumpling her jacket.

“Hi, Sunshine,” Maggie beams down at your kid. “How are you feeling?”

Kara shrugs and her stomach rumbles.

“Hungry, love?”

Your baby shakes her head. “No, Mommy,” she says tiredly, shifting again so she can rest her head on Maggie’s shoulder.

Maggie’s eyes find yours and you convey silently how Kara’s statement makes you feel.

You see the same fear you are feeling in her eyes, the same apprehension.

The same powerlessness.

“ _I_ am hungry, though,” you tell your wife.

“Okay.” Maggie shuffles a little, trying not to disturb Kara and maneuvering the backpack so it is open before you. “I got apples, bananas, some yogurt, and applesauce…” She digs inside the backpack. “Kate also sent a chocolate bar and some apple and orange juice.”

Those are news. “Kate is back?” You ask Maggie, taking a banana and peeling it. You also keep an eye on Kara and what she is doing… you left the chocolate bar near where she can easily reach it.

“Yep,” Maggie pops the word. She does like you and leaves the apple juice, as close to Kara as she can manage without being overtly obvious. “She is out debriefing now, but Renee needed her for something. She said she is going to come as soon as she was done.”

You bounce Kara lightly. “Hear that, baby? Auntie Kate is coming soon.”

Kara shifts again. Her hand going for the collar of your shirt and letting Maggie’s jacket go.

This is something different too.

Before, Kara loved sitting on one of your laps. Before, your kid used to keep still when held. Before, Kara would reach and play with your hair or your gemstone. Before, Kara would love having your hands running down her back, through her hair.

Now… now Kara hasn’t touched your gemstone, nor Maggie’s. Now, she fidgets and moves around constantly. Now, she doesn’t care if you play with her hair or rub her back, she just wants her entire back to make contact with you, all the time.

You want to know what the hell happened to Kara during those five weeks to have changed her so.

You bite on your banana, aware that Kara’s eyes are following you.

“Wonder what Renee needs with Kate,” you muse out loud.

“I think it has to do with Kane Industries… I know she left her second in command in charge, but she hasn’t been around in a while…” Maggie shrugs. “Maybe Kate needs to go to work at some point soon?”

Maggie’s grabbed an apple and is methodically peeling it with a small pocket knife you gave her for Christmas and you can see how Kara is switching her eyes between your banana and Maggie’s apple.

Still, you ignore Kara, even when her stomach rumbles again. “You really think she is going back to work? Now that Kara is back?”

Maggie smiles down at Kara. “Kate won’t go back until she knows her little princess is up and about.”

Kara shifts once again, turning completely so she is straddling you. You move your hand so your palm touches the most of her skin as possible. Kara’s own hand is playing with the DEO logo at your breast while the other goes to her mouth.

She is sucking her thumb and you and Maggie look at each other, more frightened than you can ever recall being.

Kara sucks her thumb when she is anxious… when she is asleep. For some periods of time she would stop sucking during the day, even if things get hard for her, and sometimes something would happen to set her back… but… but if you are reading things right, no matter what, there is nothing Kara should be worried about.

You hand Maggie your banana and gently take Kara’s wrist, lifting her hand to your mouth and kissing her palm. _~Hey, baby. Can you please tell me what’s wrong?~_

Kara looks up at you. One second her baby blue eyes are wide and penetrating, the next, they are full of tears and anguish.

She hides again against your collarbone. Her left hand going up to grab your gemstone, but at the last second clutching your shirt. _~Mama.~_ It’s not quite a wail, nor a plea… but it holds something you can’t place and that makes your heart shatter.

Maggie said kids that come back without any kind of trauma do not exist. Your wife said that the chances of you ever finding Kara unharmed were imaginary… she said that no matter what, Kara would feel the experience in such a way that she would need help.

You understood it. You understand it now. You are unable to relate to whatever Kara is feeling right now, but you understand that Kara is hurt. She is hurt physically, mentally and emotionally.

You understand that you are unable to help her other than giving her love and make sure she knows she is not leaving again.

And Rao… that is proving to be way more difficult than anything you have ever done.

XxXxX

It’s past midnight before you can detach from Kara.

The naps she has had through the day are too short to be considered resting and she’s still lacking enough sunlight to be healthy. Given that it is night the girls’ room is dark and the sunlamps are off as you’ve decided with Maggie that they have taken enough sun through the day already and that they need a little darkness to rest properly.

Kortni has slept most of the time Kara has been awake and you also think Kara should have slept most of the time Kortni has been asleep.

Both girls are no longer attached to machines, but they are still weak and they are still in dire need of energy.

Food is your biggest issue right now. Kara refuses to eat and Kortni refuses to eat anything but apples and drink apple juice. You don’t want to know why both girls are so reluctant to eat. Was it because the food was used as some sort of punishment? Was the food poisoned whenever they were hungry that they learnt not to eat it unless they were really, really, really hungry?

Was food so appalling there that they simply lost the will to eat?

You don’t know and unfortunately, the woman – General Astra In-Ze – is still being difficult and not sharing any information at all.

Hank and Wonder Woman were inquiring her since you almost dented her face when you examined her in her cell. You don’t know what they are doing to her, you don’t know what they are talking about, but Skye bribed a couple of the security guards so you can be informed if anything important is being shared…

… So far, the only thing you know is that Kortni is around fourteen and that both the girl and the woman were trapped in the Phantom Zone for years. According to the ‘general’, Kortni was twelve when she saw Krypton die and you don’t know how to deal with that information.

“This is fucked up,” Kate tells from the stall beside yours.

Now that Kara is passed out for good you took the time to have a quick shower on your own and Kate tagged along, leaving Maggie and Renee to keep an eye on the sleeping girls.

Once you are done here, you are sending Kate to the canteen for real food for all four of you as you rush back to Kara’s side.

You don’t want Kara to wake up and not see you.

You don’t need to be a genius or a professional to know how that will affect your kid.

“Fucked up is the right word to use right now.”

Kate hums. “Rumor has it that Wonder Woman’s lasso is not working on the lady.”

You sigh. “No, it works… it’s just that the stupid woman has a high pain tolerance.” The water feels so good against your skin. Washing the grime and a little of the tension away is amazing, too. “It doesn’t help that the red lamps didn’t work as planned, either.”

Kate’s shower turns off and you wait to hear what is your sister’s next move. She is not shy of getting into your stall, she has done it before.

It doesn’t surprise you, then, when the curtain is pulled open and your sister’s dripping form stares at you. “I still can’t believe you have a tattoo and you never told me,” she comments sullenly before she steps inside with you. “Scoot.”

“You had your own stall… with your own water.” You refuse to move. In the last five or so weeks body shyness has gone out the window. You know you are not as good looking as other people out there, other people you have seen naked due to various training issues, but you are comfortable in your skin and with your body.

Kate pokes your belly, making you jump and letting her move under your shower head. “Why do you say the red lamps didn’t work?”

You moan a little when Kate’s hands start shampooing your hair. You close your eyes and let her do whatever she pleases. You are giving her no more than five minutes, though. You have already used ten minutes under the calming water and you need to be back with Kara ASAP. “The fake radiation makes it so she is as strong as a human being and it makes her skin human-like. But it doesn’t really do much else. She is still able to fly and she still keeps her heat-vision. I think she also has her x-ray vision and her good hearing. If she uses her powers for too long, she solar flares, though. Happened with the heat-vision.”

Kate whistles low. “Ouch! That must have hurt. Who was at the end of her heat-vision?”

“Wonder Woman. Her reflexes are amazing and the only reason she didn’t become a roasted chicken.”

Kate laughs at that. “Rinse.”

You do as told, happy to just follow instructions for a little while. In here, in this moment, you are just Alex, a girl doing as her sister tells her to, not over thinking things, not having any other responsibilities other than following orders.

You wonder if this is what being a soldier feels, leaving all thinking and planning and responsibility in others’ hands…

No, you think. This is what you feel sorely because you trust Kate with your life. With Maggie’s. With Kara’s.

“You are thinking too loud,” Kate complains a moment after she shuts the water off. “I think your brain went down the drain. Hey! I made a verse!”

You glare at Kate. “You are stupid.”

Kate shrugs. “It runs in the family. You should meet my baby sister, she is as daft as a plank. Hey! Another verse!”

You look up, asking for help. “Rao, give me patience.”

Kate slaps your butt. “Stop dragging your god into this. C’mon, let’s get dressed so we can go eat.”

You nod your thanks when Kate passes you your towel. You are dry and dressed in a clean uniform in the same time Kate manages to towel-dray her hair. You sometimes miss your long hair, but not in moments like this.

“Hey, you mind if I go back to Kara now?”

Kate smiles. “Run along, little bug. I’ll go fetch us some food.”

You look at Kate with an eyebrow raised. “Were you trying for another verse?”

“Didn’t work, huh?”

“Nope.”

Kate sighs, mock defeat. “Go, honey. I’ll get the food.”

You smile, grateful before turning around and fleeing the scene before Kate decides she’s hugging you while still wet or something annoying like that. “You are the bestest, big sis!”

“And don’t you forget it!”

You giggle, you honest to Rao giggle, as you power-walk away, intending to get to Kara as soon as possible. Kate always warms your heart and makes you feel like the weight of the world stops resting on your shoulders.

So into your mind you are, you miss the shadow waiting for you in the hallway just off the locker room.

“Alexandra Danvers.”

You jump at that just a tiny bit. It’s way past midnight… you think you have a little leeway in how your guard was down.

“Wonder Woman,” you greet her. “It’s Sawyer, ma’am.”

The tall woman smiles down at you, pushing from the wall she’s been leaning on. “My apologies, Alexandra Sawyer… I still have trouble seeing you as other than a Danvers.”

You frown. Admittedly, you didn’t see much of her for the last weeks and you never really talked to her. Maggie was the one that had the most contact with the warrior given how she and her daughter were the ones leading the Amazons’ searching parties.

You know her civil name is Diana Prince and that she used to be a curator for a while, but she started working with children shortly after her daughter came live with her. You also know that now her kid is almost ready to head off to college, Wonder Woman is aiming to start tutoring special children and that your daughter was on her radar before you knew Diana Prince _is_ Wonder Woman.

You still feel that’s off, but you can’t deny that the gratitude you feel for the woman and her daughter is immense.

They are the ones that found Kara, even if Kortni beat them to bring her home.

They were also the ones making sure your kid’s captor didn’t run.

And, Diana, Princess of Themyscira, is the one that’s interrogating the captor in your behalf.

(You refuse to acknowledge Hank forbid you near the so-called General due to your lack of restraint.)

But, no matter how you look at it, there is no reason Wonder Woman knows of you enough to still “having trouble seeing you as other than a Danvers”.

“Whatever you mean, Princess?” You have heard Hank refer to her as such. He always shows the utmost respect and the most formality you have ever seen a human have when he does so.

Wonder Woman makes a face at that. “Please, call me Diana… or Miss Prince if you must… I’m no princess in these lands.”

You nod. “I’m sorry, ma’am… I just assumed-”

“Hank is the only one that refuses to call me otherwise. After years of knowing him, it’s impossible for him to call me any different.”

You nod again. “Understood, Miss Prince.” There is something off in the way she says that little tidbit of information and you make a note to ask more questions once you know where you stand with Hank after all this _and_ Kara gets back on her feet. “… but… what did you mean? You still having trouble seeing me as other than a Danvers?”

The grimace is back at her face and it’s such a weird sight. Diana Prince is all grace and poise and elegance and power… and now she looks not too different from any other girl out there.

“I knew your parents,” she admits.

Those are news. Your parents never, ever, told you they knew Wonder Woman. Yes, they worked for CADMUS and you got to eavesdrop stories about the aliens they worked with, aliens they worked _on,_ when they lowered their guards and discussed their cases at home.

Now that you think about it, they never worked or talked about superheroes. Kal’s decision to become Superman came long after your parents help him get used to being human, long after he went to live with the Kent’s, long after your Dad stopped doing fieldwork.

“How?” you ask her. You know curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back and now that she is telling you this, you _need_ to know how.

How in the world your parents knew Wonder Woman?

How in the world you never knew?

How in the world she’s aware of _you?_ Aware enough to still “having trouble seeing you as other than a Danvers”.

“Walk with me?” She gestures along the hallway. “Both of you?”

You notice that Kate’s behind you when Wonder Woman’s eyes look over your shoulder and Kate’s hand comes to interlace her fingers with yours.

“Lead the way, Diana.”

“Wait,” you tell them hurriedly. “I need to go back with Kara before she wakes up.”

“We will walk that way,” Wonder Woman says.

Kate tugs at you in such a way that she is walking between you two and she has you walking a step or so behind her. You don’t know why, but suddenly the air around Kate feels heavy and stiff… almost as if she was readying for a fight.

Kate doesn’t like it that Wonder Woman was waiting on you _and_ that she wanted to talk to you.

“You said you knew my sister’s progenitors?” The harsh way she says it leaves no doubt in your mind. Kate’s not happy with Wonder Woman.

“Once,” Wonder Woman says. “When Kara went live with them.”

You stiffen and stop walking. “You were there?” Both your companions stop too, regarding you. “I don’t understand.”

Wonder Woman looks into your eyes and Kate shifts ever so slightly in front of you. “Lyla Michaels is a dear friend of mine,” she starts, startling you. Lyla Michaels is the woman who said she slept with Maggie just so she could talk to you both about Kara being in danger.

Looking back, the meta-human was right all along. Kara was in danger and you were too blind to see it.

“She is one of my Amazons,” she keeps talking. “And she has been with us for a long time. She came to us looking for help and training. Her visions often left her weak and she had no control over them and while her improvement is huge, she still can’t decipher what she sees in a coherent way.”

“She told us Kara was in danger,” you point out and you feel Kate squeezing your fingers. “She never told us how.”

“Exactly. She knows images. She knows outcomes. She knows feelings. However, she can’t grasp the how, the why. Not yet anyway. Ten years or so ago, she saw a baby girl in Superman’s arms. A dead baby girl in Superman’s arms.”

You stop breathing.

You stop thinking.

You stop feeling.

You simply stop.

You stop.

Kate’s hold in your hand hurts and that is the only thing you can concentrate on.

“So, imagine my surprise when my daughter saw a meteorite fall in one of the islands that surround Themyscira. A meteorite that was not a meteorite, but a pod with a little baby girl who Lyla swore was the one in her visions. Now, I have met Kal-El before when Batman asked for my help bringing down Lex Luthor. You have to remember this was all before the Justice League was formed, it was actually in the year before it was formed and your daughter was the last push we needed to form it.

“I knew of Kal-El, of Superman, and of course of the House of El. The girl’s pod bore its crest and suddenly it made sense. Kal-El needed to know the girl had arrived, but Batman and I – yes, Batman is also aware of Kara – decided that the best course of action was to take the girl, inform him, but make sure he would not be the one responsible for her.”

“That’s why he left her with my parents?” you ask her, clear disbelief in your tone. “Because you wanted her away from him?”

Wonder Woman tilts her head to the side. “Partially. I wanted to take the girl in, raise her as my own alongside my daughter, but Kal-El was adamant she was his. We came to the compromise that he would choose where to leave Kara. He was honest enough to decide he was too young to be a parent.”

You scoff. “He was twenty-four. I was sixteen and my parents never took care of her.” You don’t want her to feel bad for you, hell no. Nor you want her to feel you need praising. You took care of Kara out of love and out of fear. Love for the little bundle of sunshine that became your whole universe and fear that your parents would treat her badly and that Kal-El would come back for her and do so much worse.

You just wish people would stop making excuses for Kal. He is not a hero and he is not a good person. You also wish they looked at Kara, at how sweet she was, and how they had played with her life and destiny and how one of the responsible of that was a man you don’t trust. At all.

Part of you know that if events played differently you wouldn’t have your daughter, you wouldn’t have met Kara and your life would have been miserable. The rest of you, though, is offended and so, so, so, so angry.

Wonder Woman nods. “And it was never our intention to saddle you with her. I’ll admit I visited a handful of times and kept an eye on your little girl from afar, but should I have known she was a burden for you or yours, I’d take her as my own.”

You are quick to correct her. “Kara was never a burden.”

Wonder Woman smiles. “I know. That is why I never approached you. The love you hold for her is one of the greatest I have ever seen.”

You frown and Kate’s the one that picks it up with the questions. “So, the Justice League knew all along?”

“No. Only Kal-El, Batman and I. Lex Luthor and his followers were still a threat for Superman and so we decided to keep her a secret. It’s worked so far, as Hank tells me. There were no records of Kara Zor-El, daughter of Krypton. Only of Kara Danvers, the adoptive daughter of Eliza and Jeremiah Danvers.”

“You never met Alex?” Kate asks next.

“Only from afar. I didn’t think it was the wisest to approach her… I didn’t want her to become more paranoid.”

You know what she means. Ever since Kara came along, you have spent your time making sure her alien condition never shows. It worked until Maggie was held at gunpoint and Kara _had_ to save her. All in all, you wouldn’t change a thing of your life.

“When Kara became public… that’s how they find her? Kortni and the General?”

Wonder Woman shakes her head at your question. “No. According to General In-Ze, she found a picture of Kara on the Internet and _knew_ she was her niece. It took them a little while to find her with the move you had, but they found her alright and took her as soon as they could.”

Kate groans. “I hate social media.” She looks up, and if you didn’t know she doesn’t believe in anything, you would think she is praying silently. “This means the interrogations are over?”

Wonder Woman looks to the side. “For the most part. Everything regarding your kid, or at least everything we could squeeze out of her, is here for you to read.” She hands you a thin folder that you just now realized she was holding. “We still need to work with her regarding her time on Earth and how she came to hunt down Fort Rozz’s inmates on her own… the Justice League has been in hot pursuit since the first prisoner was delivered to us beaten and almost dead.”

You take the file and it somehow feels too… impersonal.

“This is it?” you ask her, eyeing the folder. Experience has taught you this might not be over twenty pages.

Twenty pages hold your baby’s experience.

“Not really. General In-Ze spent little time with Kara and Kortni through the last five weeks. According to her testimony, Kortni was the one in charge of Kara for most of the time.” She smiles sadly. “If we really want to know what happened we need to talk to the girls.”

“No.” The denial is quick on your mouth, surprising Wonder Woman. “I won’t let them be interrogated.”

Wonder Woman looks at you with eyes a little narrowed. “Kortni Zor-El is a ward of the State. You have no claim to the kid.”

Kate’s hand leaves yours and she’s completely in front of you, breaking your little staring match. Kate’s girl crush on Wonder Woman is the worst guarded secret ever and that she chose to go against her role model makes your heart warm. “That girl is Kara’s sister. That makes her family.”

You reach for Kate’s shoulder, squeezing it tightly. “Ward of the State or not, she is a kid. I’m not letting you or Hank near her if you plan on hurting her.”

The wounded look on Wonder Woman’s face is enough to cool you down and you can feel Kate deflate under your hand.

“My apologies,” Wonder Woman… Diana… says. “I never meant to imply we would hurt them… we just want to talk. The last thing I, we, want is to hurt kids.”

“We are sorry too.” Kate rubs at the back of her neck, clearly as embarrassed and guilty as you for thinking so ill of the woman who is the embodiment of love and forgiveness. “We are not used to people being nice to aliens…”

“… And after what happened with Kara,” you continue, stepping from behind your sister. “We really don’t want people, people who can hurt her, near her. We are really sorry we jumped to the wrong conclusions.”

Diana shakes her head. “I get it. I don’t let many people interact with my daughter either.” She chuckles and the sound of it eases your guilt a little bit. “I remember mother being like that with me… it was infuriating, but I knew she did it out of love.”

Kate and you exchange a quick glance… neither of you can relate and neither of you would tell Diana so.

“We are still sorry.”

Diana smiles at you. “Don’t be. It was a misunderstanding.” Her face tensed then, a small frown appearing in between her eyebrows. “I would still like to talk to them, though.”

“I need to discuss it with Maggie first,” you inform her. “But I don’t think she would mind you talking with Kara as long as one of us is there with her. Kortni, on the other hand…”

“… We should let her make the choice,” Kate says. “I’m sure Maggie will think so too.”

Diana nods. “Perfect. I’ll stop by in the morning, once the kids are up. You can tell me then what you decided. Good night, then, Alexandra Sawyers and Katherine Kane.”

She turns around before either of you can reply to her, and, to be honest with yourself, you are still a little weird out with how this conversation ended… and how it started.

Kal-El is the best example you have to demonstrate that ‘above human’ and ‘loved by the people’ and ‘hero’ doesn’t mean good, dedicated and honest. Just because Wonder Woman is hailed as such an amazing woman by the masses, it doesn’t mean she isn’t like any other faux hero out there.

Kate took a little time to make herself cozy in your heart. Trusting her took you a couple of months, but then again, Kate is special.

Maybe Wonder Woman is special too. So far, what you are seeing makes you think that maybe all the tales about her are true.

“Come on,” Kate gets a hold on your hand again. “Let’s get back to Kara.”

You nod.

Yeah. You need to get back to Kara and you already have lost too much time… even if you have learnt a thing or two about all this mess and about Kara’s life before she came to live with you.

XxXxX

“What are we going to do?”

You look at Maggie at your right. Renee and Kate are both passed out in the gurney that was supposed to be Kortni’s. The older kid, though, is curled around Kara’s tiny form, fast asleep.

Apparently, Kortni woke up briefly to drink some water and eat some fruit while you and Kate were talking with Diana. Maggie somewhat convinced her to try the oranges and tangerines you kept around for when Kara starts eating again and Kortni fell in love with them.

She ate the whole three pounds of them and you are so grateful she is starting to eat other stuff than apples. She then proceeded to crash in Kara’s bed and return to sleep.

(You will need to run a couple of tests on her again. Get her under the red light so you can safely draw blood and see why she’s still sleeping this much.

You get the feeling her tiredness is more emotional than physical, but you need to really make sure before it’s too late if something is wrong with her.)

Maggie and Renee thought it was okay enough to let them be together and you agree. You will try to keep those two together for as long as you can.

Kara might still want to be near you all the time, but the body language she shows around Kortni speaks of familiarity and comfort. You know your kid, you know her tells and her quirks. She feels safe around the older girl and that’s enough for you to keep Kortni around if that’s what you decide to do.

Kara opened up to Kate and Maggie quickly. It took a little time with Renee, but that’s sorely because Renee is often busier than Kate (even when Kate runs an empire) and as such at the beginning she spent less time with Kara. Kara definitely doesn’t feel comfortable around Hank or the rest of the DEO personnel save Susan, but then again, Susan has been visiting since Kara can remember.

So, yes. If Kara tells say she is comfortable around Kortni, then Kortni is a good girl.

On the other hand… you know Kara’s tells so well that you know there is something fundamentally wrong with your kid.

You take Maggie’s hand in yours while you keep eating with your left. “Do what? We have so much to do…”

Maggie smiles sadly and lets her head rest on your shoulder. With all the beds taken, you are sitting as comfortably as you can on the floor against the wall. You are close to the girl’s bed and you could go look for another one, but neither of you plans on sleeping tonight and leaving the room feels too risky… too pointless.

“Let’s talk Kortni first, then,” she decides. “What are our options?”

“Well, Wonder Woman made a point… the girl is underage in our society and as such, she is a ward of the State for now.” You all read the statement Diana gave you and as such you know you can’t expect any other members of the House of El to suddenly appear. There are some points that don’t make sense and that you will ask Hank or Diana to elaborate, but other than that, what she told them is what you already knew. Krypton died, the pods were sent to Earth given the similarity between Kryptonians and humans and that the Phantom Zone is a place where people got stuck for years until they are spitted out some way or another.

“And? What does that mean?”

You side-eye Maggie. “You are the cop. You are the one that knows the law.”

Maggie shifts just enough to pinch your side. “I didn’t mean it like that, asshole.”

“’ar.”

You two freeze at that and turn to see Kara. She is still sleeping, her chest rising and falling with ease and her trusty thumb in her mouth. Kortni’s arm is thrown around her waist as she snuggles her from behind.

“Did she just-”

“Fucking shit.”

“… ‘ar,” Kara mumbles again, turning so she is facing away from you and cuddles into her sister.

You beam and Maggie laughs quietly. “Oh, Rao,” she says. “How I missed that.”

“Yeah…” you whisper. Maggie’s eyes are bright and full of love and, Rao, you missed Kara with all your heart… but you also missed Maggie. Terribly. “I love you.”

Maggie looks back at you, a soft smile playing on her lips. “And I love you too.”

“We are going to be fine, right?” you can’t help but ask.

“Absolutely. Kara is amazing. She will bounce back. Maybe it will take her time, but she will go back to her sunny self.”

You snuggle to your wife. “She needs professional help.”

Maggie nods against your head, nuzzling you. “Yeah. She does… let’s finish talking Kortni and then we will talk therapy.”

“Okay.” You let yourself slid down so your head is now in Maggie’s lap. Your food is mostly gone and you weren’t that hungry anyway. “Options… we can leave her here. I’m sure the DEO will find something she can do.”

“We are not doing that.”

You smile and close your eyes. “No, we are not. We can make sure she is put with a suitable family.”

“Maybe.”

“I know they will punish their aunt one way or another, and I really doubt she will be able to take care of Kortni… she can go live with Ka-”

“Don’t even.”

“I’m just saying, that’s all. You asked for options. We are not shipping her to Metropolis to be ignored by Kal. I know that.”

“But she can come live with us?”

“… yeah. I think so too.” You let your hand rub at your eyes. The contacts are itching again. “We need to ask Kara first, though.”

Maggie’s fingers start playing with your hair, prompting a low hum from you. “And then we will ask Kortni… chances are she doesn’t want to stay with us.”

You groan, turning so you can rub your nose on Maggie’s stomach. “I need to talk to Hank, too. See what options are the DEO giving her, other than her living with us.”

“… If he says no to her living with us…?”

“We will fight him with tooth and nails.”

Maggie’s hand stills for a second, before resuming its gentle petting. “You are awfully defensive of her.”

Maggie’s comment makes you sit up. From your new spot, you can see clearly Kortni’s face smashed against Kara’s head. Their hair is all over the place and, while you know Kara’s is lighter, you can’t tell which is whose.

You have gotten close to Kortni during your tests. So close that you have come to see her crinkle is the same as Kara. So close that you have come to notice her eyes are a tad grayer than Kara’s. So close that you have seen how the bridge of her nose is Kara’s, her lips are Kara’s, her cheekbones are Kara’s…

They don’t look identical, but they are, regardless of your tests results, sisters.

“She reminds me of you,” Maggie says then. You look back to your wife, the silent inquiry obvious.  “She bears the world on her shoulders.”

You nod.

Yeah. That’s one way to describe Kortni Zor-El.

“She reminds me of myself, too” you confess. “She is older than her years but she’s still a kid… I would like for her to have the chance to be a kid.”

Maggie’s hand comes to your cheek. “Then we will give it to her. As long as she lets us.”

“We need to find a therapist for Kara,” you remind her. Now that you two are on the same page regarding the oldest girl, you need to keep making plans now that you have the privacy and time.

Maggie nods. “I know. I was thinking of asking Kate if she can talk to Doctor Quinzel, see if she can refer us to someone.”

Your mind processes her words and you suddenly remember who she’s talking about. “Do you want to ask Harley Quinn for help?” You don’t know if you want to laugh or hit her or be impressed.

“Well, she already knows Kara is an alien and I don’t feel comfortable looking for someone who Kara can’t be one hundred percent honest with,” Maggie voices your thoughts. “She can tell us if there are any psychologists in the area that can be trusted.”

“And I don’t think we should make her see the DEO psychiatrist. Doctor Hamilton is great, but she is _my_ doctor and she is as rough as sandpaper.”

“Same with the one at the precinct. Also, I don’t think that letting my colleagues know Kara’s true nature is such a smart move.”

Probably not, you think.

“Okay, we will ask Candy Kane for her contact info.” You snuggle in deep against Maggie. “What else are we missing?”

“Well…” Maggie hesitates for a moment. “… we still need to get her a tutor, no? And if Kortni is going to live with us, I guess we will need someone to teach her too?”

You sigh. “Yes. But… can that wait until after we are back from your parents?”

You feel Maggie stiffen. “Are we still going?”

You turn to face her again. “Yes? I thought we agreed we were going…?”

“But… Is Kara up to it?”

You bite your lip. “Well, no. But I think she needs a little peace after all this. Your family farm sounds like a great place for her to relax and play.”

“My whole family will be there… the Three Stooges are going to be there with their kids… the Triple W is going to be there. The Lost Boys are going to be there, too.”

“Well, Mary and Josh live there,” you point out. “And so do the Lost Boys… Jess and Sara, right?”

Maggie nods. “Yeah, but like… all the Lost Boys are going to be there for the reunion… with their families. It’s going to be huge… it gets this huge every four or so years.”

You mull over that. Maggie’s parents have a big house and, from what Maggie has told you an even bigger parcel of land. Her family owns a milk farm, but they hire hands to take care of it since all, well almost all, the kids moved away from Blue Springs to pursue different paths and even her father was the town’s Sheriff and thus, also unable to work on it.

Bob and Dave, twins and the oldest, left for Central City together. Bob to pursue a career in architecture and Dave to become a lawyer. Both are married and both have sons, Bob three and Dave just two.

Tony’s loft is somewhere in New Venice, but he spends most of his time in the sea as a top engineer for a charter company. Maggie jokes that he and his wife, Susan, are sea junkies and why they chose to spend most of the time there. You haven’t gotten all the story out of Maggie yet, but as far as you are aware of, Susan is the daughter of Tony’s boss and the only reason the younger brother is not dead is that he somehow saved his father-in-law’s life while at sea. You are actually looking forward to meeting him and see for yourself how crazy he is.

Maggie, the baby of the family by several years, left to become a police officer in the finest Police Academy and that leaves Mariana.

Mariana, Mary, or the Triple W as Maggie and her brothers call her, left for St. Roch, Louisiana, after marrying her son’s father. She recently got a divorce and she is back at Blue Springs while she finishes her studies in management. Josh, Maggie’s oldest nephew, and Mary’s only child, helps around the farm when high school is out and Maggie thinks he is going be the one that actually stays behind to help Maria with the farm.

“How many Lost Boys are we talking about, roughly?” You get her blood family is huge compared to you that only have Kara and only had her and your parents for most of your life… but if you add the Lost Boys…

“Nine, if they all attend… not including Jess and Sara. As far as I know at least half of those have kids and all of them are married now.”

Shit. Nine more siblings are too much.

The Lost Boys is what Bob and Dave named the teens that Maggie’s parents started fostering way before Maggie was born. Apparently, they took older teens in, letting them have a place to be before they are kicked out the system and more often than not, even after that.

Maria and Robert believed that they needed to give back and so, they took the kids no one wanted and helped them out as best they could. They took only boys at first, the reason why they are called the Lost Boys, but after Mariana was born, they started taking in girls too.

Once Robert passed away, Maria stopped taking in teens until just recently, when the Cruz sisters came looking for a forever home.

You do the math in your head, quickly. “So… we are looking towards facing at least over thirty people… for a whole weekend… right?”

Maggie nods. “Yes. We will have the Triple W, Josh, Jess and Sara, and Ma, around the whole two weeks, and knowing Tony, he and Su will stay for at least a week, but yeah, the bulk of people will be there just for that weekend.”

“… I still think we should go. We need to make sure your mom knows Kara’s fine and I still think it will be good for Kara. If she gets too uncomfortable I’m pretty sure we can crash at a hotel in town, right?”

Your wife smiles. “We can totally do that… or we can disappear and go camping if it gets too much. I think she will love to see the clear skies… she can even fly if we venture far away enough.”

You smile back. “Then it’s a deal. We will go to Blue Springs come August.”

“It’s still a couple of months until we go… sure you want to wait until then to get them a tutor? If we play things right, Kara could go back to school this year.”

You shake your head. “Call me selfish… but I really don’t want Kara going to school in a while. She has never liked it, to be honest… if it were for me, she would never go back.”

Maggie looks at you with a raised eyebrow. “You know it’s healthy for her, right? She needs to socialize.”

“I know that. It still doesn’t make me feel any better… and, truthfully, do you think she is going to bounce back in time to be enrolled?”

Maggie sighs, her eyes going to the sleeping girls. “No. I don’t think so.”

“Let’s compromise, then. We get them a tutor as soon as we get back and if they, yes, Kortni too, if they are ready, we will enroll them in January.”

“Okay, okay. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.” Maggie’s eyes are still fixed on the kids and the way she is looking at them makes your heart melt.

“Hey,” you call softly to her and you are rewarded when she turns back at you. You kiss her softly once, twice, three times, just little pecks. “I love you,” you breathe against her lips.

Maggie smiles, you can feel how the skin moves under your lips. “And I love you too.”

XxXxX

“I’m not leaving the room.” Your voice is firm and to the point and you are glad when Diana nods to you.

“And that’s probably for the better. My Kryptonian is not good enough yet.”

You nod to her, surprisingly disappointed that Wonder Woman, the one that is older than life, that meant to know every language to ever be on Earth, doesn’t know Kryptonian. Maybe you have been unfair and all, but well, _you_ know Kryptonian… surely, after working with Kal she knows it?

Oh. How stupid you are.

Of course, Kal never taught her. Even if she asked him, the ‘Holier-than-thou’ bastard wouldn’t have taught her.

You turn then to the girls, each sitting on either side of you, assessing how each is taking having Wonder Woman here. They have been up for an hour now and they look impossible related with their matching soft grey gowns. It looks like they are going to stay awake for longer than a couple of hours and it was decided this was the time for their little interview with the mighty Princess of Themyscira. Kortni has already eaten her weight in oranges, tangerines, and lemons, but much to your dismay and everyone’s consternation, Kara hasn’t eaten a bite.

Even Kortni kept looking at Kara with concern and not a little fear.

 _~What is she saying?~_ You focus on Kortni first, as she is the one presented with a complete stranger and you make the mental note to start teaching her English soon. So far, she has proven to understand and be able to use some fixed phrases, like ‘are you hungry?’, ‘good morning’, ‘are you okay?’ and a standard greeting of ‘Hi, I’m Kortni Zor-El, pleased to meet you’. When she introduced herself to Kate the moment your sister walked in the room with the mentioned citruses.

You all _know_ Kara was the one to teach Kortni those little bits of English.

 _~Her name is Diana,~_ you explain to her, to them, alternating your gaze between the two. _~She is a hero we call Wonder Woman… she wants to talk to you and Kara… and I was just telling her I’m not leaving you both alone with her.~_

 _~She is not human.~_ Her matter of fact statement throws you off guard as does her sudden snobbish behavior. _~Wonder Woman is a dumb name to call oneself.~_ She shifts in her seat and you are grateful there is a table between the three of you and Wonder Woman.

How Kortni’s body tenses and sits at the very edge of the chair doesn’t speak well of the situation you have put the girls in.

At least the room door is open and Maggie and Hank are outside, giving you space, but also staying close enough to intervene if necessary.

 _~No, she is not,~_ you inform her quietly, making her look up at you, even when you can see her focus is not only on you. _~She is something else… a… how would you call it? An almost god? She is special, her birth was special, so no, she is not human. She is more than a human. And she didn’t choose the name… it was trusted upon her years ago.~_

 _~An almost god…?~_ the indignation is clear in her face and voice. _~No one can be like Rao!~_

 _~And you are right. No one will ever come to be like him… but you need to remember humans have other gods, Kortni. She is practically the daughter of one of those.~_ Rao, you need to remember Kryptonians are incredible self-centered when it comes to religion. Kal was just like this when he was introduced to all the major world’s religions.

He never changed.

_~That is not right! There is no other than Rao! There can’t b-~_

_~Kortni.~_ Your tone is hard, but not rude. It’s commanding, but not suffocating. It’s sharp, and admonishing, but not a punishment or constraint of any kind. It’s a tone you have perfected over the years of taking care of Kara – even if she hates it and reminds you so much of your own mother– and you are glad it has worked on her sister too, making her close her mouth with an audible click as her eyes go wide, looking at you. Your hand goes to the back of her chair, resting it there, almost as if you are embracing her shoulders. You would like to touch her, but you haven’t gotten her permission for that, yet.

You haven’t gotten her permission to scold her, either, but you can’t let her keep thinking like that. You don’t want another Kal in your hands.

 _~I understand. I do. I follow his light too.~_ You tell her in a quiet, but firm tone. _~But you are in a new place now and you need to respect it. You need to learn to stop judging what’s different from what you know **without** knowing why or how it’s different. And, even when you realize what you think is better, for whatever reason, you have to respect what other people believe in as long as they don’t hurt other people or themselves. Understood? You don’t get to be rude when something is not like you are used to. Okay?~_

Kortni glares and you glare right back at her. It lasts only a handful of seconds and you are eternally relieved when she looks away first, giving you a curt nod.

_~I would like for a verbal answer, please.~_

_~Yes, ma’am,~_ she grumbles.

 _~Thank you,~_ you tell her honestly. _~If you want to know more about this, I will gladly explain it to you, okay? Or Maggie can. Or I can get something for you to learn on your own if you’d wish.~_

Kortni looks back at you and you see a hint of surprise in her eyes before she nods again, this time, you think, in something like gratitude. You file that for later, just as you will file the other tidbit of information you have just learnt from her.

You have no idea how Kortni knows that Diana is not human. You will ask her about it sometime, in deep, but right now, you need to translate for Diana as much as you can and keep an eye on your baby daughter. The way Kara’s looked at Wonder Woman, one of the superheroes she looks up to the most (no one can thump Batwoman in her heart) when she entered the room before you had to focus solely on Kortni, makes you uneasy.

“Everything okay?” Diana asks as she finally sits before you.

“Yes. Just a little cultural barrier.” You smile at her, thinly. “We’ll keep working on that.”

“I’m sorry if I caused it.”

“Don’t be. It’s really something cultural I will deal with later.” You focus on Kara, then. “Kara?” Your kid looks up to you, prying her eyes from her slightly sulking sister. You notice the confusion and a dash of hope are still in them. _~What’s the matter, baby?~_

Kara’s eyes travel to Diana. _~What is she doing here?~_ She asks as she cuddles closer to you. You convinced her to move from your lap before Diana arrived, but she insisted on being close enough so she could grab hold of your pants at all times.

Kortni interest is picked and you assumed that she thought you all knew Diana before. Your hand goes to comb Kara’s hair from her face. Both girls need a haircut and you hope the red lamps will allow you to dispose of the Kryptonite shears, forever. _~Diana helped us look for you, baby. Before your sister brought you home.~_

Your daughter’s eyes go wide and you can’t help but compare them to the wide eyes Kortni gave you a little while ago. While slightly different in color and in the feelings they are expressing, they are remarkably the same. _~Kori brought me here?~_ She asks, confused and amazed.

You realize this is the first time you are acknowledging exactly what happened before Kara woke up. Since she latched to you, all your efforts have been directed to make her stay calm, to try to make her eat and to try to make her rest.

You never once thought that Kara didn’t know it was her sister the one that flew them to you. You never once thought that your baby girl is missing more than a handful of days of her life.

You haven’t even talked to Kortni outside the older girl’s needs and the odd question here and there regarding what she likes and what she would rather do given some choices. Kortni has been asleep for the most part and, yes, you have been dying to talk to her about what the hell happened, but you are a doctor and a mother and the kids’ comfort and health comes first… you could, you can still, wait for them to be good enough to talk.

Diana’s involvement in all this sped up things, but you are more than confident you can send Wonder Woman packing if the girls so wish it.

 _~Yes, baby.~_ You say, your hand still playing with her hair. _~You were hiding pretty well. We couldn’t find you.~_

Kara keeps facing you, but her eyes travel to Diana. _~But… she has never been here,~_ she comments, her tone so confused and lost that you ache for her.

You blink at that, and even Kortni leans forward so she can see Kara, puzzlement clear in how she raises her eyebrow. _~What do you mean?~_ you ask her in Kryptonian and then in English, knowing Diana needs to hear this. “What do you mean, baby? About Diana never being here?”

Diana perks at that and, pretty much like Kortni, zeroes her attention to Kara.

Your daughter fidgets with all the sudden attention and she tries to leave her chair to climb on your lap, but you stop her with a firm hand on her shoulder. “No hiding, baby. We need to know what you mean.” After a second thought, you repeat yourself in Kryptonian for Kortni’s sake.

Kara whines, making a grab for your shirt, so she can pull herself closer to you. “Mama…” she complains when you don’t relent.

“Please, baby girl. Please, tell me what you mean.” There are tears in her eyes and you know she will be crying in no time.

Kara sniffs and rubs at her eye. “She has never here. You, Mommy, Kori, Aunties Kate and Renee are. They always are. She has never b-been here before. Mama, what is she doing here?”

You rub your thumb gently on her shoulder, trying to calm her down. You are as confused as your baby feels.

“Kara,” Diana calls softly to her. “You have been very brave, child. Can you tell me where here is? Where your mommies and your sister and aunts always are?”

You turn to Diana, the question clear in your eyes, before turning to Kara once more. _~Can you answer her, baby? Can you tell us where here is? Can you tell us why is weird she has never been here?~_

Kara’s focus switches to Diana and to you and back and forth, back and forth. You can see she is ready to shut out, to become unresponsive… this is proving to be too much for her.

So, with great care, you pull her to you, letting her finally climb on your lap. _~I love you, baby. I love you so much. Take your time, love. We are not going anywhere,~_ you tell her, rubbing small circles on her back.

She rubs her nose on your shirt and her hand goes to your gem for the first time since she woke up. Something about the action, so familiar and so usual, so intimate and simply just _Kara,_ makes your heart swell. That Kara too took comfort from it, calmed all your worries for a little bit. “Here is home… sometimes. Here is sometimes Krypton… like Kori taught me.”

_~Kortni taught you of Krypton?~_

Kara nods, closing her eyes. “Sometimes I’m there, with Kori and her parents and sometimes I’m here… but…” She opens her eyes again. “… I’ve never seen Wonder Woman before.” She frowns, opening her eyes and staring at Diana. “How can I see her when I don’t know her?”

You are utterly confused.

Diana comes sit on the chair Kara vacated and you shifted Kara so she can face her too. You can feel Kortni moving too, pressing just a tiny bit against you. “You can see me, Kara, because I’m here. I’m no hallucination.” She offers a hand to her. “See for yourself, child.”

Kara hesitates, her eyes fixed on the large, calloused hand.

 _~Come on, baby. Touch her. See that she is real.~_ You have no idea what is Diana after, but you are out of your depth and you will follow her lead until you understand what the hell is going on.

Kara does as told and you don’t miss how Kortni tenses. Kara takes her time prodding, holding, massaging, poking. “You’re warm.” Her eyes are dry and you breathe in relief at the crisis just avoided. “How?”

Diana chuckles and curls her long fingers on Kara’s tiny ones. “We Amazons run hotter than humans… your Mama feels cool to you, no?” Kara nods. “Well, as we are a tad hotter, you can feel the warmth.”

“I didn’t know that,” Kara says earnestly.

Diana’s smile never wavers. She has a way with kids and you see how she had dedicated to working with kids around Kara’s age. Seeing her like this is a true gift. “Well, you learn something new every day. And you know what the cool thing is? No matter how much you try, you will never run out of things to learn.”

Her words freeze Kara. She stares at Diana’s open friendliness and honest demeanor and, suddenly, she is deflating again. You can sense she is part relieved and partly disappointed in whatever conclusion she reached. “You are Miss Diana,” she states. “You were my substitute teacher. You used to say that all the time.”

Diana’s smile widens to the point you are marveled she isn’t pulling something. “Yes, I am.”

Kara’s body slumps against you, her hand leaving your gemstone and her eyes start filling with tears again. “This is a dream… again.” She blinks, prompting big, fat tears to roll down her cheeks. She turns so she’s hiding in your chest. “I-I don’t want this t-to be a dream again, Mama… p-please…”

Her mumbles make your heart stop, your brain shut off, your body tense.

Even Wonder Woman’s face is slack with shock and surprise.

 _~What did she say?~_ The desperation in Kortni’s voice is as suffocating as the disbelief you are feeling. _~Alex, what did she say?~_

You gulp, forcing all your senses back in order. You turn to Kortni, to the fear in her eyes, to the powerlessness there. _~She believes this is a dream. She doesn’t think this is real.~_

The confusion in her face is as comical as Diana’s… and equally heartbreaking as the despair you’re feeling. _~How? This… this is real…? Right? Right?~_

You shake your head, not knowing how to answer, simply cuddling your girl to your chest, letting her tears soak your shirt.

You have no idea how Kara thinks that. _Why_ does she think that?

But, worst of all, you have no idea how are you going to convince her this is as real as is gets.

XxXxX

_~I don’t understand.~_

_~Your aunt is now under our government protection, so you can’t stay with her.~_

_~But… she didn’t do anything wrong.~_

_~She took Kara, Kortni. Taking a child without their parents’ permission is a crime.~_

_~General In-Ze is no criminal. She’s the one that puts criminals behind bars.~_

_~… We know that. But, still, she needs to be punished and as such, you can’t stay with her.~_

_~She took Kara home. She took her with her family. Us.~_

_~If she had done things differently, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.~_

_~… You wouldn’t let her have Kara, though.~_

_~No. We wouldn’t. Like it or not, Kortni, she is our daughter and we won’t give her up. But maybe we would have allowed her, you, to visit, to stay with us. You are family, Kortni, we wouldn’t keep you away from her.~_

_~Still, you are doing just that now. You are keeping General In-Ze away from us.~_

_~And that is because she committed a crime.~_

_~But, I helped her. Am I in trouble too, then?~_

_~You are a kid, too, Kortni. Whatever responsibility you had still falls on your aunt’s shoulders. She is the one responsible of you… and I doubt you wanted to hurt Kara.~_

_~No! Never! She is my sister! I wouldn’t hurt her… and neither General In-Ze would hurt her. She loves us.~_

_~I, we, think your aunt had enough maturity and experience to know what she was doing was wrong.~_

_~But we are Kara’s family!~_

_~And you will forever be her family. But, you can’t be with your aunt. Neither of you can.~_

_~Will I see her again?~_

_~Yes. If you wish you can visit her before she is moved. And, later, when they deem it safe, you can see her as much as you want.~_

_~… What-What will happen to me, then?~_

_~I can give you three options, for what we have all discussed. You can stay here at the “_ DEO” _, they will fit you with an appropriate family so you can start afresh, with people who will help you adapt and grow. They will probably be aliens too, so they will know the best way to help you. Or, you can go with Wonder Woman to her island and keep training. You said you were training to be a General too, so you can learn there and they will gladly teach you. Or, you can come with Maggie, Kara and me. Whatever choice you make, know that there will be a series of rules you need to follow, a series of things you need to learn and you need to obey whoever you decide to stay with. And, whatever you choose, you will keep seeing Kara, no matter what.~_

_~I will keep seeing Kara? You will let me?~_

_~She is your sister, Kortni. There are few things that are more important than family… and I know that even if we were to forbid you from seeing her, you would find a way to see her, no? I know you won’t give up on her.~_

_~So you are letting me see her because you don’t want me to sneak around?~_

_~No. I want you to see her because I can see you love her. And I know Kara cares for you too. I just wanted to point out you would never let us separate you from her.~_

_~Thank you. For respecting that.~_

_~Any time, sweetie. We will be leaving this facility in about three days, give you and Kara time to completely heal under the lamps. I would like to have an answer before that, so we can plan accordingly.~_

_~Three days are not enough time.~_

_~I know and I’m sorry, but we didn’t know for certain what was our, your, options until now. If you choose something and then change your mind, no matter when you change your mind, you can always tell us and we will make it happen, okay?~_

_~… Can I talk to General In-Ze before I decide?~_

_~Of course.~_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Can you hear that? Is the sound of my heart breaking for little Kara...*cries.*_
> 
>  
> 
> _How about that, I believe that if Kal would have found tiny little Kara, tiny little Kara would have been dead and Alex wouldn't have her baby nor Maggie her sunshine. *cries.* I'm very glad Diana and her daughter found her. Also, pardon me everyone...*screams* WONDER WOMAN!!!!!_
> 
>  
> 
>  _So, um, yeah, *evil laughter.* I had this chapter hostage until a ransom was paid and it was paid in full yesterday, so I hope you enjoyed this chapter and know that I'm currently editing chapter 27 is amazing, you are going to love it, I'm going to do my best to have it ready really soon, but then again is going to be held hostage until I get my hands on chapter 28._
> 
> She's mean, I tell you.
> 
> Keep posted so we can find out how in Rao's light they'll convince Kara she's not dreaming... 'cause she's totally not dreaming...
> 
> Right?
> 
>  
> 
> _Right?_
> 
> Edit as of July 16, 2017:
> 
> So... @reainakonanofate have some sad news to share with y'all...
> 
>  
> 
> _Dear Kismet readers,_
> 
>  
> 
> _I'm afraid I have bad news, my laptop (the one where I do all my editing) went poof *cries.* and so did whatever was in it and that includes what I had edited of chapter 27, so, um, until next week I'm going to be able to buy a new one, and I'm going to start all over again. *ugly crying.*_
> 
>  
> 
> _But wait...there's more..._
> 
>  
> 
> _Apparently, I have one glimmer of hope with my old laptop and have it fixed, so if I can get it fixed in these coming days I will do my very best to have it ready for this coming weekend. I promise._
> 
>  
> 
> _Thank you and deepest apologies to everyone._
> 
>  
> 
> So, yeah, we might got a little behind schedule... but rest assured! She's still making _me_ write, so, she'll have tons of docs to proof, muahahahahahaha.


	27. Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conversation you had with the one Kara calls Mama, with Alex, sits heavily in your mind as you approach the room they have been keeping your aunt in. Alex and Kara stay in the room with the lamps that are too hot and too bright while Maggie escorts you so you can have a free pass around, or so she said.
> 
>  _~There are going to be “_ red-lamps” _in there,~_ Maggie tells you as you walk side by side. She is short, shorter than any woman you have ever seen and it makes you feel adult to be just a tad shorter than her. ~ _Those “_ lamps _” recreate your red sun to an extent… so you might feel weak and a little nauseous at first. It’ll pass quickly, but you will lose your super-strength and if you use your laser or x-ray vision or try to fly, you will solar flare again and you will have to stay under the “_ sunlamps _” for at least ten hours straight.~_
> 
>  _~Those “_ sunlamps _” are nasty,~_ you grumble.
> 
> Maggie chuckles. _~Then you won’t be overexerting yourself, will you?~_
> 
>  
> 
> _~No, ma’am.~_
> 
> Or, 
> 
> The one where Kortni muses over her new life, Kara eats apples and Alex and Maggie are awesome mothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took us so long to get this one up!!! The lovely beta (@reinakonanofate) was missing her laptop and I was a little too shocked by SDCC to actually write, ya know?
> 
> Also, life's been hectic. Just, not nice.
> 
> But, yeah, what happened at SDCC was disappointing and made me lose some hope with this story? The beta won't let me quit, but it's been like pulling teeth when I tried to sit and write... so...
> 
> Please enjoy!

The conversation you had with the one Kara calls Mama, with Alex, sits heavily in your mind as you approach the room they have been keeping your aunt in. Alex and Kara stay in the room with the lamps that are too hot and too bright while Maggie escorts you so you can have a free pass around, or so she said.

 _~There are going to be “_ red-lamps” _in there,~_ Maggie tells you as you walk side by side. She is short, shorter than any woman you have ever seen and it makes you feel adult to be just a tad shorter than her. ~ _Those “_ lamps _” recreate your red sun to an extent… so you might feel weak and a little nauseous at first. It’ll pass quickly, but you will lose your super-strength and if you use your laser or x-ray vision or try to fly, you will solar flare again and you will have to stay under the “_ sunlamps _” for at least ten hours straight.~_

 _~Those “_ sunlamps _” are nasty,~_ you grumble.

Maggie chuckles. _~Then you won’t be overexerting yourself, will you?~_

_~No, ma’am.~_

_~We’re here.~_ She stops before a normal looking door, identical to all the other ones that you have passed, with windows on either side of it that look into the room and made of sturdy metal… the only difference you can see is a couple of heavily armed guards posted at either side of it, partially blocking the windows. _~Don’t get too close to them. They have Kryptonite on them and I don’t want you risk getting sick.~_

You shift your weight and it takes you a second to realize you have moved closer to Maggie after hearing her words. That realization shocks you to the core and you miss whatever else she is telling you until the final bit catches your attention.

_~Take however long you need. I’ll wait here.~_

You nod to her and she smiles down at you. One of the guards punches a series of numbers in the pad and the door hisses open.

_~Knock on the door once you are ready.~_

You nod again to her, and to the guards, and step into the room.

The first thing you notice, after feeling the shift in the air and light, is how spacious the room really is. They have given your aunt a comfy looking bed, a table and a couple of chairs and some shelves with square-like things you remember are called books from your history lessons. There is a door you guess would lead to some kind of washing facility and you can hear some water running.

You accompanied Alex and Kara down to the _showers_ earlier in the day and Alex showed you how to use the rudimentary thing. It feels amazing being clean after you don’t know how long, but the way these people use water to clean themselves is weird and made you feel guilty with how much of it you wasted.

Back at home water was a sacred thing, used and drank by few, and imported from other planets. Being surrounded by the precious liquid was magical, but, still, it makes you wonder exactly how different this planet is from home.

 _~I see you have already adapted to their ways,~_ Aunt Astra’s voice startles you. You didn’t notice her exit the other room and you curse in your mind. You really are lowering your guard too much.

Your back straightens completely and you adapt your usual pose around her. ~ _General In-Ze, ma’am.~_

Your aunt regards you with her cold eyes and you wonder how long it was since you actually saw her for the last time… it was when she dropped by for a couple of hours to deliver Kara’s apples, you think. It was even longer since you spoke to her…

… you have missed her.

 _~At ease, soldier,~_ she tells you, after a moment.

You relax at her words. This is familiar, this, this, you know how to manage.

_~Tell me, Kortni Zor-El… why are you wearing our enemies’ clothes.~_

You have to force yourself to look at her and not on what you are wearing. After your _shower_ , Maggie gave you a series of clothes that, thankfully, were easy to figure out. The tinier bits went on your bare skin and the longer and thicker ones went on the outside. They look close to what Father used to wear on a daily basis and you are glad she gave you something that doesn’t itch like the piece of slip they gave you the first time you woke up.

_~My uniform got ruined, ma’am, and I can’t retrieve my spare. My nightdress didn’t seem proper, ma’am, so I took what they gave me.~_

Your aunt smiles at that, throwing you off guard. _~It warms my heart to see them treating you right. It also warms my heart you are not being unnecessarily stubborn.~_

You blush at that, knowing she is right. In any other time and place, you had already put up an enormous fight with the humans. You don’t like to be told what to do unless it’s your aunt giving you orders, but somehow, you feel at ease with Alex and Maggie, enough to listen to them and so far, you are doing as they tell you.

_~Come sit with me, niece.~_

You follow your aunt to her table, confused at how she calls you. She hasn’t called you that in years. Sitting across her feels weird and it feels even weirder when she gives you a glass of water and offer it to you.

 _~I believe we underestimated the humans,~_ she says casually, sipping on her own glass.

_~General?~_

_~They told me you were the one handing Kara to them,~_ she says and you gulp. _~They explained what was wrong with her, what was wrong with you… I should have listened to your Father better, little one. Her mind was beautiful and she probably knew all about the yellow sun… did you know she tried to teach me all about life in other planets before we left home? I was so stubborn, swearing I didn’t need to know a thing about planets I have already been in.~_

She keeps her eyes trained on the glass, never looking at you and you can’t help but shift in your seat, not knowing what to expect.

 _~I’m proud of you, niece,~_ she says, confusing you. _~Kara was in danger and you decided to go against my orders to ensure she was safe. You did the right thing. You saved your baby sister and you saved yourself. I’m proud of you.~_

For all the things you expected to hear… this one never crossed your mind. It’s confusing, strange and, you won’t lie, your heart starts beating fast and hard and your eyes to sting. _~I went against everything the Academy taught me,~_ you point out because, yes, you want her approval, you want her to be proud of you.

But not like this.

Not when you disobeyed her and got her in trouble.

Not when you won’t be seeing her again in a long time.

Not when you exchanged your baby sister for her.

Not when you get to be free and she won’t be.

Your aunt laughs at that. Is mournful and lifelessly and you wonder if these _red-lamps_ are messing with her. _~The Academy didn’t prepare us for this, little one. It never taught us what to do when there is no Military guild to follow… it never taught us what to do when we are far away from home and going back is not an option.~_

_~I made an oath. I broke it.~_

_~You made sure you and your sister were safe… but yes… you broke the sacred oath and you know the punishment for that.~_

You blink hard once, letting free just a tear before you compose yourself.

You took a shuddering breath and stand, followed shortly by your aunt.

Maggie said they had given you complete privacy for this meeting, that Alex convinced the one in charge that no matter what you discuss with your aunt, she trusts you. And Maggie trusts you too.

Why? You have no idea. But, the thought of helping your aunt escape, the thought of helping her face the guards and kill them, take you and Kara with her, never crossed your mind.

Maybe your aunt is right.

You are adapting to their ways already and you didn’t notice until now.

Your aunt stands before you and glares. _~Identify.~_

 _~Kortni Zor-El, third rank cadet, identification code 239876, to serve Rao for days past, for the now, for those to come,~_ you intone clearly, not letting your voice waver nor the rest of your tears fall.

 _~Kortni Zor-El, third rank cadet, you come before me as a traitor. As someone who broke a promise to her Guild, to her Homeland, to Rao.~_ Her words feel like punches, but you knew, you knew the moment you realized what you have done that this would come. That this would hurt and that no matter how much you hated it, you wouldn’t change a thing. You saved Kara. That’s all that matters.

That’s all that matters.

_~You made an oath, an oath that now has been broken. Do you know the consequences of such act?~_

In answer, you kneel before her, bowing your head to the ground.

Just like Uncle Non did the day he was kicked out from the Guild.

Just as all traitors do when they are faced with this ritual, a ritual common enough that now you think most of the Military Guild never adhered to the Academy’s teachings. A ritual common enough that is one of the first things you are taught once you start training.

_~I’m aware of my actions. I’m aware of the consequences of them. I put myself before you, to be judged and sentenced, to be punished and forgiven.~_

You feel your aunt grab your hair, just at the base of your skull. She pulls tight enough to bring fresh tears to your eyes. _~You have been judged and your sentence is an exile. Exile from the Guild you swore to follow and betrayed. You will be punished, but you won’t find forgiveness here. Rao, in his mighty light, is the only one who will weight your heart and decide the extent of your guilt.~_ Her grip on you tightens. _~Kortni Zor-El, daughter of Alura In-Ze and Lara Lor-Van, heiress of the Houses of El, Ze, and Van.~_ You shiver at the coldness of a knife at the back of your neck. _~Is time to be given your last order, the one you will follow for days past, for the now, for those to come. Open your heart, Kortni Zor-El, and let His light enlighten your path.~_

You gulp, the knife makes you nervous, but you are ready for this part of the ritual. The usual thing to do is having one’s uniform ripped and wear the rags until one is admitted into another guild, but you are lacking your uniform right now. In the absence of it, the next thing in the list to be taken would be your House Coat of Arms until one is wed into another House, but again, you don’t have it… and that leaves your hair. If you were a man, you would be shaven, for there is nothing more shameful than having your head without hair… but since you are female, you get to have your waist-long hair taken away.

It is a small price to pay for Kara’s safety.

You are also ready to hear the last order you will be given. The last order that you will have to follow all your life if you want to keep in Rao’s light, even if it’s difficult, even if some days you feel like you can’t follow it, you will have to do your best to honor it. This order differs, according to the crime committed to be cast out the Guild. It can be as generic as following Rao’s teaching to something as specific as living your days as a beggar or donating all your worldly possessions to the poor.

The knife starts slicing at an agonizing pace as your aunt speaks. _~Your last order, Kortni Zor-El, is simple. You will devote your life to be happy,~_ she says it with such a stern tone it takes you a moment to understand her words, even as they confuse you, even as they make your head swirl. _~You will devote yourself to let go of the pain, of the past, of everything hurtful and you will be happy. You will be with your sister, you will be the best version of yourself you can muster and you will be happy. You will let old grudges behind, you will face the day with a smile and you will be happy. You will train, or not. You will study, or not. But you will do what makes you happy. That is your very last order, Kortni Zor-El. Be happy.~_

You feel the very last of your hair being detached and your head feels uncomfortably light. She lets your hair fall to the ground before you and you have to blink back tears.

Your last order is not what you expected.

You were ready to be told to seek revenge. You were ready to be told to always look out for your sister. You were ready to be told to help her escape. You were ready for anything… anything, but this.

(You were also ready to never be in Rao’s light if your last order went against Kara’s well-being… but you never really thought your aunt would ask this of you.)

_~Stand, Kortni Zor-El, dismissed member of the Military Guild.~_

You do as told and raise your blurry eyes to meet hers. You notice right away the knife she is holding and you wonder how in the world did she manage to hide that from the guards outside. You also wonder for a moment if she would teach you, before remembering you no longer are her student.

You are so focused on the knife, you don’t notice the arms she throws around you until they are being squeezed tight. _~I’m so proud of you, my little one.~_

You embrace her back, relishing the comfort she has denied you ever since she became your commander officer and she no longer was your aunt. You let your tears fall, then, knowing it is allowed now. Knowing she has got you.

She embraces you for a long time, neither of you speaking, both of you soaking in the love and the warmth.

 _~I’m scared,~_ you confess at the end. You can admit that now. Now that duty and pride no longer matter.

 _~It’s okay to be scared, little one.~_ You can feel her hesitating against you for a moment before she drops a kiss to your forehead, shocking you to the core. She has never kissed you before… not even when you were a little girl, before entering into the Academy. _~You are brave, love. You are braver than me and any other cadet that came before you. You are loyal, more loyal than most who claim in his name. You also have a giant heart and a beautiful mind… I’m sure you will put both to good use.~_

_~I don’t want you to leave.~_

_~I have to. My own punishment will be easy and I was promised to see you two comes Rao’s Name Day.~_ She pushes you away from her, looking deep into your eyes and you marvel how hers are wet too. _~In the meantime, follow your order and you will forever be in his light.~_

 _~I will.~_ Rao, it’s going to be hard. Harder than if she ordered you to set her free, no doubt. Harder than dedicating your life to avenge those that hurt your family.

Yes, it’s going to be too hard.

However, you will follow her last order. And you will make her proud again.

 _~I love you,~_ you tell her with all the honesty and warmth and fierceness you can evoke.

She kisses your forehead again. ~ _And I love you, my little one.~_

You want to stay in her arms forever, but you know that can’t be. You have to face the outside world again and you know, you simply _know,_ it’s time to say goodbye for a little while.

 _~We will see each other soon,~_ your aunt promises you once you are ready to knock on the door. She has given you the knife, to hand over to the guards.

She will no longer need it.

 _~_ _May his light ever guide your path,~_ her voice is soft, but commanding. And you smile in between your tears as you start the last prayer you will do accompanied by your aunt in a long time.

_~May his strength ever fight the darkness away. May his wisdom ever let you understand. May her compassion ever dry your tears. May her sacrifice ever let you live._

_~ May her love ever warm your heart. May you ever be free of worries and may you ever have free will._

_~_ _To the end of your days, to the end of theirs, be ever safe,~_ you finish together, sharing a small smile before you lift your hand and knock.

The door hisses open and Maggie is standing there, just as she said she would. Her eyes widen the moment she sees you and you hold the knife to her once you have stepped outside the room. _~It had to be done,~_ you tell her simply.

One guard wastes no time in taking the knife as the other goes into the room, no doubt in search for more weapons.

Maggie looks at you, confused and a little shocked, before understanding dawns on her and she smiles sadly at you, nodding. _~Come. Alex texted me a while ago. She’s managed to make Kara eat.~_

You smile back at her and you accept the hand she is offering you.

You need to follow your last order and this seems like a good place to start.

XxXxX

You stay at the facility for another couple of days before you approach Maggie and tell her what you have decided. Alex is busy with Kara’s newest doctor and she told you Maggie could help you if she was busy.

She smiles at you and tells you she and Alex would be glad to have you by their side.

She smiles and reminds you that you can change your mind at any time.

She smiles and gives you the rules you need to follow if you are going to be with them.

Those are simple rules and you are a little amazed at how much freedom they are offering you.

They will provide you with a rudimentary communication system that you will carry with you at all times when out the house. You can come and go as you please so long as you are back at the house before six every day. You will be given an allowance once you understand how their economic system works. You will learn English and human culture, _American culture_ , Maggie said. You will, sometime in the future if you decide to stay with them, attend Earth school and try to live a human life. In the meantime, you and your sister will have a tutor that will teach you all you need to know to blend in and not draw attention to yourself.

You will learn to harness your powers to the point that you can interact with humans and look and act like one of them. You don’t really understand this point, but Maggie explains to you how humans are not ready for aliens. How humans tend to hurt what they don’t understand and that you’re still young, for both human and Kryptonian standards and that they (Alex and Maggie) don’t want you to be burdened with hate and needless hunts while they can avoid it.

You will listen to what Alex and Maggie say and do as told. If there is something that bothers you, be it with what they say to you or something that you see or hear, you need to talk to either of them. You can push back if you think something is wrong, or off, or simply makes you uncomfortable, but you can’t be rude or disrespectful.

You will be assigned a list of weekly chores to do around the house and they will teach you to do those as they present. You will be in your room by ten each night, preferably asleep, but they won’t mind if you do something else as long as you don’t wake Kara up.

Both the allowance and the freedom to leave the house unaccompanied can be taken away for periods of time if you disobey the rules and you think that’s less than they could do punish you with. You were ready to be anything they wanted you to be as long as they let you be with Kara.

You don’t plan on telling them that they are too soft. If anything, you relish on knowing what they expect from you and that the consequences wouldn’t land you far away from Kara.

You are already far away from your Aunt Astra.

You don’t think you would survive if they forbid you to see Kara.

No.

You _know_ you won’t survive if they forbid you to see Kara.

XxXxX

 _~We’re here,~_ Alex’s voice calls softly as she shuts off the vehicle you have been strapped in for far too long.

 _Seat belts,_ Alex said when she helped you in and strapped you down as Maggie put a fussy Kara in a weird seat that has many more straps than what you are using.

Kara starts wiggling around at Alex’s words and you watch with sympathy how she tries to free herself and fails miserably.

Maggie’s at your side before you can try to reach for your sister and Alex is dealing with Kara with a tiny smile.

 _~Come,~_ Maggie says. _~I’ll teach you how to use the_ “elevator.”

She waits for you to shoulder your bag before she leads you to a shiny steel door that reminds you of the metal box that allowed you to move floors in the facility. Your reflection is still alien to you and you can’t help but stare at it in the door.

You didn’t have to explain anything to Alex or Maggie when you presented yourself wearing your shame visible for them to see. You don’t know how they knew, but Alex asked you in a whisper once Kara was fast asleep – after finally eating lots and lots and lots of _apples_ –  if you wanted her to cut it even, or if that was disrespectful of your dismissal.

Knowing that the shame comes from having it short, you allowed Alex to fix it in a cut she called fashionable for humans. Seeing how Alex – and several other females at the facility – wear their hair close to their heads, you understood that the shame is only for you to see and understand.

Humans will see you and see yet another female with short hair.

That thought is both reassuring and devastating.

 _~Here,~_ Maggie directs you and you see a panel on the wall.

You want to tell Maggie you learnt how to use those by simply watching her and Alex, but you stop when she gives you a little piece of shaped metal.

 _~This is a_ “key”. _See that slot there? You insert the_ “key” _in, twist to the right and push the button. That will call the_ “elevator.” She smiles to you, no doubt noticing your confusion. _~Try it.~_

You do as instructed, and you feel how someone comes to stand behind you seconds before you are able to hear the box moving behind the doors.

 _~I’m sorry if you feel like we treat you as if you were too dumb to understand,~_ Alex says softly. You look back to see her cradling Kara to her chest, your sister’s head tucked in her neck and her left-hand clutching Alex’s stone.

The first time you noticed that both these women wear a replica of your Father’s memory stone, you were angry and utterly confused. You first saw it when Alex came to talk to you for the first time, and, later on, you saw it on Maggie’s when she helped you into the room with the solar lamps. You have yet to ask about those, but you have come to realize Kara clutched to your memory stone when she was with you on the ship because she clutches these women’s replicas when she is looking for comfort.

There is much you don’t know about your sister and that leaves a pang of not quiet pain in your chest.

 _~But,~_ Alex’s voice makes you focus again, _~we don’t know what **you** know and what you can recognize nor what you can work out for yourself. If you think we are over doing it, tell us and we’ll tone it down.~_

You nod and turn to see the doors open and the metal box appears. This _elevator_ thing is just what you were expecting.

You all climb inside and you notice that this one has fewer buttons on the inside panel than the one at the facility. Maggie punches in the one at the very top.

 _~This building is tall, as you might remember,~_ Alex says, her voice still soft and it takes you a second to realize Kara’s eyes are closed. You know she is not asleep because she is not sucking her thumb, but you are grateful Alex tries not to frighten her. _~But, this_ “elevator” _only reaches three floors. This one where we keep the “_ cars” _, the main one that’s on the street level and the last one, where our home is,~_ she explains, pointing to each with her free hand.

~The “key” is yours,~ Maggie adds. _~It also opens the front door, so you won’t be locked outside. We will get you a “keychain” for it later on.~_

You look at her, weirdly. “Ki-chan?” you try the word out. They have been teaching you some words here and there and, while you didn’t want to learn when Kara offered to teach you, you are soaking up the language like a sponge.

You want to know what they say when they switch to their stiff language. You know Alex and Maggie translate for you, but you have no way of knowing if the translation is right or they modify it somehow to make you more at ease.

So, you need to learn as soon and as accurate as possible.

“Key-chain.”

“Key-chain.”

Maggie beams down at you and the box stops moving, opening to a narrow corridor. You can see from the window how their city is alight, even if it is late at night. _~Good! A_ “key-chain” _is used to keep_ “keys” _together and it helps to not lose them.~_

Alex leads you to the door on the left. _~This is home for us,~_ she says. _~I know we would never replace them, but we hope it can be home for you too someday.~_

You know – she knows – her words are hollow and empty. She might say them with warmth and honesty, but you both know they are lies. This place will never be home and you both know it.

Still, is nice hearing her care. Even if it is a lie.

You notice how Alex has her own _key_ , or rather, her own set of _keys_ and that they have attached a little white and grey thing. You suppose that is the _key-chain_ Maggie was talking about. You watch as how she opens the door with ease and walks inside.

Maggie ushers you in after them and you clutch the strap to your bag more tightly. Your bag feels heavy, heavier than you ever felt it, and you know it is from the clothes Maggie gave you throughout your stay at the facility. It is weird, having suddenly too much to wear when you have grown used to have so little at the Academy.

Never the less, you are glad its weight helps you focus on it and not the unknown ahead. It’s time to face this new challenge.

 _~Shoes off. We don’t use shoes inside the house,~_ Maggie commands.

That’s something that is familiar, finally. You didn’t use shoes in the barracks, nor back at home. The training and teachings always made for dirty feet and the easiest way to stop the mud from entering your sleep spaces was to pad barefoot everywhere.

 _~You can use those_ “slippers”, Maggie points to a couple of weird looking shoes near a low piece of furniture that Maggie opens to reveal shelves and shoes inside. She takes hers off and takes a couple of those _slippers_ to put on ~ _or you can be in your “_ socks” _like Kara and Alex.~_

You look at your sister and how she’s still in Alex’s arms. Both of them are barefoot and already moving deeper into the house.

You are somewhat familiar with the layout of the place. Aunt Astra and you spent several days looking through the windows and keeping an eye on what they did and how they behaved. You couldn’t hear what  they were saying, at all, and Aunt Astra thought it was probably due to the same stuff that wouldn’t let you see through the walls.

 _~Come, Kortni. I’ll show you your room,~_ Alex calls from her place in the stairs. Kara’s now peeking at you from over Alex’s shoulder and she is giving you a weird, contemplating look.

Alex and Maggie talked to you yesterday. They talked while Kara napped on Alex’s lap and the sight of that made you feel so weird and so… invasive. Yes, you and Aunt Astra spent a lot of time spying on them, but back then you didn’t see it as anything other than a task.

Seeing Alex holding Kara to her, seeing Kara looking like when she was a toddler and used to cuddle up to Father… it almost felt like if you were invading a private and delicate moment.

They told you, while you were looking at your sister and mourning the years that have passed that Kara is not really believing what she sees is real. They told you they brought help, help to make Kara see she is back with them, to help Kara deal with being gone for too long.

You felt your chest hurt then. You felt the pain as you felt it when your Father’s image vanished before the explosion, as you felt it when you realized Mother was dead too, as you felt it when you couldn’t find Kara during your first years on Earth.

Taking Kara was the right thing to do, you know that in your heart… but Kara wasn’t happy. Kara got sick. Kara is still unhappy. Kara is still sick.

And… is it your fault that Kara is not the happy baby you remember? Is it your fault that the women that take care of her are constantly worrying about her? You can see in their eyes the pain, the worry. You can sense how their actions are hesitant, are weak… almost as if they were trying to connect with Kara, but were too afraid to do so.

And the look Kara is giving you right now, you have seen plenty in the time you spent at the facility.

It’s the look she gives Alex and Maggie, the look she gives Kate and Renee, the look she gives everything when she is not sure what she is seeing and what she is dreaming.

Your baby sister is looking at you, trying to determinate if you are real or not.

Alex asked you to help them, to help them anchor Kara, help her realize she is in the now.

You don’t know how to do that.

 _~You can pick your room,~_ Alex tells you. You have followed her upstairs and you are now standing in a hallway you haven’t seen before. You recognize Kara’s room on one side of it, though. You remember the blue theme she had for it. You also remember that she didn’t sleep in it most of the nights.

Is tonight going to be any different?

Alex paused not far from it and she is gesturing at two doors that are the only ones on that side of the hallway. _~Both are empty with only a bed each. Think what color you would like for the room and we’ll work on it next week, okay?~_

You look at Alex, your brow furrowed. _~What?~_

Alex smiles and she bounces Kara once before shifting her so your sister is now on her hip. She speaks loudly as she looks at her in the eye, swaying lightly and cooing to her as if she was an infant. _~Kara here loves blues, don’t you, baby? So her room is all soft blues and whites.~_ She turns her smile to you. _~Think about what you would like to see every day after waking up. We’ll work around that.~_

Something about how she phrases it makes you uncomfortable. You feel Maggie standing behind you and you turn. She is holding a glass of what you have come to know as _apple juice_ , which she passes to Kara. _~I thought I could change my mind anytime I wanted?~_ you ask Alex.

You refuse to acknowledge how vulnerable you sound even to your own ears.

Suddenly, you understand the feeling in your chest.

Betrayed.

Somehow you feel betrayed.

Alex keeps her eyes on Kara and you notice she is mostly motionless, to avoid Kara making a mess on both of them. _~So? You can change your mind anytime, but that won’t change that we want you to have a room here,~_ she comments easily as she puts her free hand under Kara’s chin, catching the _apple juice_ that is dribbling down it. _~Even if you leave tomorrow, we’d like you to have somewhere that’s yours to stay when you come visit Kara.~_

Maggie passes Alex a piece of cloth and Alex wastes no time in cleaning Kara up.

 _~No matter what you choose, Kortni,~_ Maggie says once she has handed back the glass and cloth. _~You will always have a place here. You are Kara’s sister, after all.~_

Alex cuddles Kara close to her chest. Her smile hasn’t disappeared and you don’t know what to think, what to feel _. ~It’s late and I’m going to give this one a bath. Take your time picking the room. Maggie will be in the kitchen. Join her once you’ve decided, we will all have a snack before bed, okay?~_

With that, Alex leaves for the stairs and you know she is heading to her room. You don’t exactly know why she would give Kara, your gown up sister, a bath, but you had seen them share _showers_ often enough to not consider the fact too weird.

 _~She doesn’t want you to be uncomfortable,~_ Maggie says once Alex is no longer around. _~She wants you to take your time, but if you want, I can stay with you while you decide.~_

You look at Maggie.

Her eyes are trained on you and you want to squirm a little under the intensity, but you are, were, General In-Ze prodigy and protege… you can’t seem weak. _~I would like to do this alone,~_ you tell her even when part of you wants to ask her to please stay.

Maggie’s gaze is penetrating and you shift a little, just a tiny bit and when Maggie smiles at you, you frown. _~I think you’re lying, but I also think I shouldn’t push tonight.~_ She turns and heads downstairs. _~Come see me when you’re done. I got Kate to buy “_ tangerines” _before she and Renee left.~_

Kate and Renee… one is Alex’s sister and the other is a family friend. They are close to Kara, you saw that during those days at the facility. You saw how, when Kara was sure everything was real, when Kara wasn’t second guessing all she saw, felt and heard, she would be glued to Kate for long periods of time.

Kate was the only one Kara spoke to freely. She would answer questions for Alex and Maggie, she would tell them what she was thinking and feeling, but she hasn’t talked to them as she talked to Kate. They would talk at length, mixing both English and Kryptonian and never missing a beat.

When Kara doubted everything, when she was too confused, she would cling to Alex, always refusing to touch Alex’s gem replica, always refusing to let her go too far away. But, Kate was the one that managed to talk sense into your sister the fastest… Kara would let go of Alex for short periods of time to be held by only Kate. Not even Maggie managed that and you won’t lie, you are pretty impressed Maggie never got mad about it.

She would smile, just like how she did right now to you, and let Kara be… just like she is doing to you right now.

She claims she knows you are lying.

Just as she claims she is happy as long as Kara is happy.

You don’t get it.

But, you do as they told you. You see at the two doors that are, somewhat, impossibly oppressing to you. They are plain, wood maybe. You still don’t get how they’d waste precious plants to do this kind of stuff. But, yes, this looks like wood, like the books (another tree product you can’t wrap your mind around) Maggie gave you to help you learn English.

They are plain. And boring. Dark. Sleek. Thin. You can see through them with ease. As Alex said, the rooms are bare except for a bed each. There is a door too on each that leads to a bathroom in between the rooms, only accessible from within one of each.

The room on the left has a huge window. As does the one on the right. They look exactly the same… so… how would you decide?

Father’s voice is suddenly in your mind and you close your eyes, seeing her behind your eyelids.

_‘Remember, Kortni, this will always be your space. Even when you leave, this will be your safe haven._

_Even if I become a great General like Aunt Astra?_

_Especially if you become like Astra. This will always be yours.’_

Father told you that the day you left for the Academy. She reminded you of that the day Kara was brought home and suddenly you had to share your wing of the house.

The room to the left was yours… your right and duty as the oldest daughter gave you the room to the left, the one closest to the wing’s entrance.

You grimace at the memory. Your memories are always plaguing your mind and they always leave you with a bad aftertaste in your mouth. Sometimes, you can make them stop, sometimes, you can’t. Since you have been close to Kara they are fewer and less intense, but they are still there, reminding you what you no longer can have.

Of what you lost.

Here, in these women’s home, the room on the right is the closest to the stairs. It is the one that should be yours. It is the one you should occupy so that anyone looking to harm Kara would need to pass by you first. It is the one that will allow you to walk less to reach it. It is the one that comes first. It is the one that it is closer to potential harm. It is the one that should belong to you. As both your duty and right.

You shoulder up your bag and take a big breath.

You open the door to the left room and step inside.

It is time to change things.

It is time to start letting go.

XxXxX

 _~You know where to find us. If you need anything, come to us, okay?~_ Maggie tells you with a smile.

You have had your _tangerines_ while Kara and Maggie ate some _apples_ and Alex had something white and not quite liquid they told you it came from animals. So far, they hadn’t pushed you to eat anything that was once alive and with a conscience and for that you are grateful. You wonder how long that will last.

 _~You can read for a bit, but I’d like you to try to get some sleep. It’s late.~_ Alex comments. Kara is no longer in her arms, but she is rubbing her face on Alex’s leg and you can see she is tired and ready to sleep soundly.

They are in their _pajamas_ , the clothes they use to sleep. They are weird, but you know they are also soft. Maggie gave you a pair of those and, even if you have yet to wear them, you have felt how amazing they feel against your skin.

Alex and Maggie are wearing sleeveless tops and short pants, while Kara is wearing what you assume is one of their shirts with how big it is on her.

~ _Say good night, love,~_ Maggie gently pushes at Kara’s back.

Your sister hasn’t spoken since you got to the house and you wonder if that will change now.

Kara’s eyes on you haven’t changed since that dubious look she gave you as soon as you stepped foot inside her home, but she does as Maggie tells her and comes to stand before where you are sitting on the bed.

She looks at you, deeply and hard, and you are afraid for a moment what her verdict will be.

You never expect her to suddenly launch at you and embrace you with all her might, forcing you to bend down to accommodate her.

_~I don’t know if I’m dreaming or not. Mama said I’m not, but she’s said that before and it hurt waking up…~_

_~…Kara…~_

_~… but I’m happy you’re here. I’m happy you’re with us. Thanks for choosing me.~_

Your arms go around her, squeezing her tightly and lifting her off the ground easily. Rao, she is a tiny thing. You wonder if the yellow sun somehow made her shorter than average. _~I will always choose you,~_ you murmur in her hair. _~I will always choose you.~_

You feel tears prickling your eyes, so you look up to avoid them falling. Maggie is in Alex’s arms, her back to Alex’s front and Alex’s arms around her middle. Neither of them is looking at you, Maggie’s eyes are closed and Alex’s focus is on her partner, and you appreciate the privacy, even if they are just a couple of paces away, just shy of the room’s entrance.

Kara let go of you after a minute, and her brow furrows. _~You want to cry,~_ she states. _~Are you sad?~_

You shake your head. _~No.~_

Kara’s head tilted to the side confused. _~Are you happy, then? Mommy wants to cry when she’s happy.~_

 _~Hey!~_ Maggie protests with a laugh and you are glad for the distraction. _~I do not cry!~_

Alex chuckles, planting a kiss on Maggie’s cheek. How often they kiss, with what ease they touch each other, makes you uncomfortable. You are not used to their level of intimacy.

Your parents never acted like that in front of you. Not even Zor-El, the most open and physical person you know, acted like that with his partners.

But… you would be lying if you say you don’t like how Kara hugs you freely. How much peace it brings you, seeing Alex and Maggie so close together. How welcome you feel that they don’t change their ways for you.

 _~Don’t lie, love,~_ Alex says against Maggie’s scalp. _~We know you cry at Kara’s_ “movies”… _and those are never sad.~_

Maggie sniffs mock offended, and she leaves the cocoon of Alex’s arms. _~Many people cry over_ “Disney movies”. _Once Kortni has the chance to watch one, she’ll agree with me.~_

You don’t know what they are talking about, but the heaviness of Kara’s statement is gone and you feel lighter now than you have felt this whole day.

No matter what happens next, Kara is happy with you around and you don’t feel like such an intruder now.

 _~Come, sunshine,~_ Maggie calls Kara, offering her hand to her. _~There’s a book with our name on it waiting for us.~_

Kara looks at you and then at Alex, contemplating. _~Mama?~_

Alex smiles. _~I’ll catch up with you in a few minutes, baby.~_

Kara’s nose scrunches up, but she turns fully to you and she stands on her tiptoes, leaving a light kiss on your cheek, startling you terribly, but making warmth spread all over your chest. _~_ _May his light greets you in the morrow,~_ she whispers as she retracts.

 _~And may her love illuminates your dreams,~_ you whisper back.

Kara smiles up to you before grabbing Maggie’s hand and letting her drag her away, leaving you with alone with Alex.

 _~I know is a little scary,~_ she comments, entering your room and kneeling before you. She is shorter than you this way and you are left staring down to her. You want to tell her that, no, you are not scared, but she keeps talking before you can voice your opinion. _~I was scared the first time I slept in this house too. Here is different from what I’m used to… it’s almost too quiet… when I was a kid I used to live by the ocean, its sound was comforting… then, I lived in different cities, just like this one, but never so far from the ground… from it sounds…~_

Her expression is far away, almost as if she is lost in a memory. You wonder what her memories are about. If they are bittersweet like yours.

 _~If you need anything, anything, Kortni Zor-El,~_ she continues snapping back into focus and staring up into your eyes. Hers are a warm, liquid brown, and you can see they must be her telling card… they are too expressive. Way too expressive. _~Come look for us. We’ll always have our door open. I don’t care if you want a glass of water and don’t know where we keep the glasses, or if you’re freaked out by a bug, or if you want another book, you come to us, okay? You come to me.~_

You blink. _~Freaked out by a bug?~_ you ask, perplexed. Bugs are small things, too small to be seen without aid. Bugs are little beings that won’t bother anyone, that won’t do-oh. Bugs back at home are different from what you might encounter here. Right.

Her seriousness makes you uneasy, but you see how her eyes are laughing. _~”_ Spiders _” are a thing on Earth. They are gross and nasty. I’m sure Kara can show you some pictures… she somehow likes them.~_

You smile a little. Having Kara showing you stuff sounds nice. _~So, I come to you if I see a… “_ spider?” You have come to understand that putting the ‘s’ sound– a sound that holds so much meaning to you in your own language – makes things plural, so you are proud of yourself when no correction comes your way.

However, her solemn nod is ruined by her sudden smile. _~Yeah. We’ll wake Maggie up and make her deal with it.~_

You snort at her. This woman can somehow make you feel at ease and calm. She knows when to push and when to back off. Just like Maggie. Maggie can do those things too, but Alex… Alex is different somehow and for the first time you are glad Kara had them while growing up.

They are good for your sister and it’s just until now that you can appreciate that.

 _~Okay,~_ you tell her.

_~Good. Now, onto more serious matters… do you want me to accompany you on your prayers at night?~_

You bite your lip, nibbling on it, thinking. On one hand, it has been too long since you have been accompanied, and frankly you miss it. Aunt Astra was not around often enough for her to accompany you and you are too young to have accompanied Kara during the time she spent on the ship. You haven’t presented yet and while you doubt Alex had a formal presentation, you think she can accompany you with ease. She is of age and she knows her prayers.

While you stayed at the facility, you saw Alex accompany Kara on a handful of occasions. She was busy most of the time and Kara spent most of it asleep, so you understand the lack of praying. And, she let you pray with her the very first day you met. That time wasn’t intentional, not at all, but you were taught that when someone starts praying to Rao or invoke Cythonna, you need to follow.

People that still followed Rao as you were taught, back at home, were few and far in between. The Houses of Tur, Ze, El, and Van were religious and from their faith grew the partnership that saw your parents’ marriages and the close friendship between Father and Jor-El. So, no, finding people that would start praying was hard and so you were taught to do as they taught young kids back when on your grandparents’ days: when someone prays, you pray with them to strengthen their claim and to show them they are not alone.

But… praying with Alex, allowing her to accompany you?

The proper thing to do is, yes, let her accompany you tonight and the nights that will follow until you present and maybe even after if you grow close enough to her. But –

You are startled when a cold finger is pressed lightly to your mouth. _~Stop,~_ Alex says softly. _~You will start bleeding if you don’t stop.~_

You can feel the pain in your lower lip where you have been biting and you suck on it, to ease the sting. _~Sorry,~_ you mumble, still too confused over her question to let her sudden touch and scolding unnerve you.

The smile she gives you is warm and gentle. _~That’s okay. I do that too. I know how annoying a chapped lip can get.~_

Your lip goes into your mouth again, earning you another tap on it and you have to make the effort not to start worrying it again.

 _~Kortni.~_ The way your name rolls off her tongue in her weird accent makes you blink, perplexed. There is warmth in it, almost as if she was surrounding you with that single word. _~Can I hug you?~_ she asks as the same fingertip that touched your lip goes to your wet cheek.

You are again startled, both by her request and by the realization you are crying.

You nod, shakily, out of it and too confused by what you are feeling, but not really _feeling_.

Alex sits next to you, pressing her leg to yours and letting her arms go around you. You don’t get it, how these people are so tactile. You don’t get it and even so you lean onto her, basking in her slight coolness.

You think these past weeks have been the time you have been touched the most. Aunt Astra hugged you, she hugged you after not touching you outside of training ever since you entered the Military Guild. Aunt Astra even kissed you. She had never kissed you. Kisses were the most sacred form of affection and Kara kissed you too…

… Alex kisses Maggie. Alex kisses Kara. Kara kisses Alex and Maggie. Renee kisses Alex. Alex kisses Kate… they all kiss each other and you don’t get it and…

… and Alex is now pressing a kiss to your hair.

This is too much.

The first sob comes unwanted. The second, you try to muffle, you but are unable. The third makes Alex start combing your hair. The fourth has her murmuring soft nothings on your scalp. The fifth, see you turning fully into her, hiding in her shoulder.

After that, you lose count of them and cry.

Cry for what is no longer there and what is now alien to you.

Cry for what you miss and what you have to learn.

Cry for your losses and your gains.

Cry for Aunt Astra.

Cry for Kara.

Cry for Mother.

For Father.

For Rel-We.

You cry for Alex and Maggie too because somehow, you feel a connection to them and that is a connection you don’t want. You should feel repulsed by them, you used to feel repulsed by them… but…

You have cried on your Aunt’s arms not a week ago. And you are crying on Alex now… why? How is that the only ones that ever saw you cry were Mother and Aunt Astra and now Alex?

Why?

_~Why?~_

Your whimper is so tiny you are marveled Alex heard you.

You are marveled at her response, too.

_~I was sixteen when a little alien girl came to live with my parents and me. She was made my sister, the one I should protect with all my might and all my heart. And I did because I fell in love the moment I saw her, and I knew, I just knew, that my parents would forget she existed. So, I cared for her, I loved her, I made sure she was happy._

_~Those first years were hard. I didn’t know a thing about taking care of an infant, but we managed. As long as I gave her “_ apples _”, played with her in the mud and let her see herself in the mirror, she was happy. I’ll admit I couldn’t understand why she kept yelling at the mirror “Kori! Kori!” all the time, but then again, she was happy and I couldn’t complain. She sometimes cried a bit because whatever she was calling for never came, but she was mostly happy.~_

Hearing that little thing, that small thing, that your sister used to do, makes your sobs halt for a moment. Kara didn’t forget you, at least at first. Your baby sister remembered you and time took your memory away from her, but she looked for you, she asked for you, she still loved you.

_~Two years ago, my parents died. They left Kara for me to take care of and it wasn’t an imposition, it wasn’t a sacrifice… and… somewhere along the line, Maggie appeared and we became a family. I didn’t become Mama until six months ago… I knew in my heart, every time I called Kara my sister that she was much more than that. That she was my daughter, my kid. Something in her made me love her so damn much that even the sun’s rays can’t warm my heart as she does. But for the longest of times, I was afraid of how much I loved her, of how she loved me. I was afraid of failing her and it took me too long to embrace it, to accept that she’s mine. My kid, my baby._

_~Kori,~_ Kara’s nickname sounds strange on Alex’s voice. Not unwelcome, per se, nor uncomfortable, but strange. Her fingers are playing with the short hairs at your nape, making you shudder as the sobs continue. ~ _When I see you… when I look into your eyes, I see that little baby that stole my heart, but I also see those hurt eyes I saw all my life staring back at me in the mirror. You carry a huge deal of pain, Kori, and I understand that. But, you also carry so much love in your heart is impossible not to see it._

_~And I thank Rao for that, sweetie. For giving me the chance to meet you. For the chance to get to know you._

_~You ask why, and I can’t answer that. I can only tell you that Rao saw so much good in you that he decided you were meant to keep on. He saw so much strength in you that he decided you could carry the pain. He saw so much loyalty, so much dedication that he made sure you came to Earth._

_~You are amazing, Kortni Zor-El. You are stronger and braver than me, that is for sure, and he made it so that you can be here, with us, so Earth can see that too._

_~I can’t tell you why, why he decided to deal you such a hard life, but if he did, he did because he knew you are capable of facing it and making the most of it. You are a miracle, Kori, a true miracle and I’m so happy you’re here with us.~_

And you cry.

XxXxX

The next morning you are dazed. You can’t feel anything and you are not hungry.

You fell asleep in Alex’s arms, your prayers forgotten, and they let you sleep in. Maggie came early to tell you that Doctor Quinzel is visiting Kara today so that you shouldn’t panic if you don’t see Kara around.

You met the doctor when you were still staying at the facility. She is Kate’s friend, you think, and she was asked for advice by Alex and Maggie and she decided to take Kara herself… or so Renee informed you.

The doctor is weird and smells weird, but Kara seems to like her enough and you think she has made progress with how Kara can talk to her on her own now and Alex no longer needs to sit through her sessions with her. As you understand it, the fact that Kara’s sessions are private are better for your sister so she can talk about everything she can’t tell Maggie and Alex.

They asked if you wanted to talk to her too, the first time she came around, but you declined.

You are already talking with too many strangers and adding another one to the mix is simply awfully burdensome.

For a moment, you thought they were going to be annoyed with you, but they simply nodded and proceeded to help introduce Kara to her new doctor.

But, you have come to realize, they are never annoyed when you tell them you are not comfortable doing something.

Like seeing the doctor.

Or they explain to you why you need to do something until you understand the necessity of your unpleasantness.

Like lying under the sun lamps.

But they never force you to do it if you really refuse and explain to them why you don’t want to do it.

Like eating animal products, even if you are still waiting for them to force you to try them. As far as you can tell, feeding on animals is something earthlings do and they pride themselves on it.

You know Kara is in session now – knowing her, she will be with Doctor Quinzel for hours –, and Maggie told you Alex was going to get a little work done in her study now that she is _suspended_ , whatever that means, and that she would be in the roof garden chatting with Pam if you wanted to join either of them later.

Pam, Pam you like. She is quiet and calculating and she doesn’t touch freely like the rest of Kara’s family. She keeps to herself, but she is also aware of everything that goes around her.

She reminds you a little of Father and a little of Aunt Astra.

So, you push the covers away, get dressed and go up to meet Maggie and Pam in the garden they keep upstairs. You have seen it plenty of times while you were spying on them, but you haven’t seen it up close…

Ever since you got to Earth there was only one thing that marveled you enough that you struggled to do as Aunt Astra commanded you: plants.

Plants on Krypton were a commodity and something so precious only the most influential of individuals were able to have one. Plants and water were the most expensive things to acquire and they denoted status and wealth.

The Houses you are, um, were, part of, were wealthy and of high status… and even so, you were never able to have a plant, not too different from the one that Maggie took to the facility while you were there. It died too soon, but the plant was so nice and smelt better than those you knew on Krypton. You were lucky enough that your Mother knew a couple of judges that had a plant each, so you are one of the few that knows up close what they were like.

Plants here are everywhere and you marvel at them. Their softness, their smell, their bright colors… there are so many of them and of such different shapes and textures… the first time you saw them on Earth, growing in the ground, unkept, abandoned…

Raises voices is the first thing you notice once you step in the covered part of the garden. The place is small, small compared to the vastness you have seen on this planet, but it is beautiful. It is all green and smells divine.

Maggie is standing by a box with flowers with Pam, a grimace on her face, and Pam is frowning and growling and her tone is hard and menacing. You don’t understand what she is saying to Maggie, but you waste no time in going to her, standing between them and interrupting Pam’s tirade.

Maggie is on you in an instant, resting a hand on your shoulder and turning you to her before you can decide what you want to do next. _~What’s the matter, Kortni?~_ she asks, perplexed and scared. ~ _Is Kara alright?~_

At your sister’s name, Pam looks up, equally concerned, asking something in the language that is starting to become familiar, but still escapes you.

 _~Yes, she is fine.~_ Pam’s anger is long gone and Maggie isn’t acting as if she was in danger not too long ago, but even so, you turn again to face Pam with narrowed eyes.

Maggie shifts behind you and Pam’s eyebrows are high on her forehead, contemplating you.

 _~Are you okay, Kortni?~_ Maggie asks, hand again on your shoulder.

You nod, but you still glare at this strange woman. Somehow, the pale skin she had now has a greenish tint to it and her hair is disheveled with leaves and sticks on it. She is cradling a little plant in her hands and you have to blink several times when you notice its leaves are changing from a deep brown to a dark green.

 _~Kori, what’s wrong?~_ The use of the nickname startles you and suddenly you see that whatever they were arguing about, is over now and Pam no longer presents as a threat. She is even smiling, looking down at the plant.

The embarrassment at what you did flushes your cheeks. Why did you make such a fool of yourself? Maggie is a capable woman, a warrior if Kara’s tales are correct. She can deal with Pam if needed and, well, you don’t even know what they were saying… how is that you came to the conclusion Pam was dangerous to Maggie?

Rao, you are stupid.

 _~I- I thought she was threatening you…~_ you mumble, turning your face to the ground.

This place is messing with you. These people are changing the way you think, the way you act.

You are better than this, rushing into things without knowing what is really happening…

… but the sight of an upset Maggie and an angry Pam was too much for you and you needed to act.

Maggie’s hand squeezes softly. _~She’s angry with me, yes,~_ she says. _~But that’s because I left most of our garden to die. She won’t hurt me. She’s helping me save our plants. See.~_

You can see that the plant changes again and a thin stick starts growing as the leaves change to a bright color. The stick starts growing little balls and you gasp, amazed at how some of them start transforming into flowers. The process stops and Pam says something with warmness, her usual deep tone easy to your ears.

_~She said that’s the most she will help it. The rest is up to us. So, we need to make sure we take care of it so it blossoms completely.~_

_~How..?~_ Pam offers the pot to you and you take it, mindful of how the thin pot bends to your fingers. The flowers in the stick smell nice and are a deep red… almost as red as blood.

_~Not all of us are normal humans. Some, like Pam, are enhanced with abilities and powers of their own. This planet is huge and we have many different kinds of people.~_

You nod. After everything that has happened to you, this kind of information doesn’t surprise you. _~What is this called?~_ you asked breathlessly. The flowers are amazing and so, so, so, so beautiful.

“Orchid.”

“Orchid…” the name comes easy to you and Maggie smiles down to you.

“Orchid.”

Pam hands you another pot and you take it with the other hand. It is another _orchid_ , this one as white as the snow that kept falling around your ship all the time.

Pam says something to Maggie, but you are too entranced with the plants that you don’t even try to understand the difference in the words they are saying. Over the last week or so you have been at the facility you have come to identify the pauses in the language, but you still don’t understand it.

 _~Pam and I are going to see what more damage was done here…~_ Maggie tells you softly and you are glad for how she doesn’t startle you. _~Do you want to learn some_ “gardening?”

“Gaden-nin?”

“Gardening.”

“Garden-nin.”

Maggie smiles. _~Close enough. That’s what we call caring for plants. I have some “_ bonsai” _that need some care and love and I’m sure Pam will find several more plants in need of help.~_

You look around and, yes, you can see how many of the plants are far from green. Most of them are lanky and brown… some are even black. Pam is tending to another pot, a bigger one that has greens and whites on it. She is somehow coaching the plants into being happy again and you feel your chest swell at the sight.

But, you also feel it constrict. _~What happened to them?~_

Maggie’s hand is still on your shoulder and she lets go of you after squeezing again, walking to a little plant that looks so much like those big ones you saw on your way here… it’s weird but also cute and tiny.

It makes you think of Kara.

 _~We were so busy looking for Kara I forgot to tend to them,~_ her tone is full of regret and sadness and she looks at the plants with so much love… _~But, Pam is a miracle worker and she will help us get them healthy again.~_

Her phrase makes little sense to you, but you guess she is translating some or other Earth saying literally. Rao, you will make sure they all know proper Kryptonian if they insist so much on making you learn their stiff language. _~How can I help?~_

Maggie’s smile is back and even Pam is smirking… letting you know she understands a little bit of what you are saying. She beckons you near her and starts your first lesson in ‘human’.

How to care for living things.

How to nurture them.

How to make sure they are content.

You stay with Maggie and Pam for hours, marveling at the knowledge they impart you.

You stay and get dirty. The sun, dimmed under the roof, warms your skin and makes you more and more alert as the hours go by.

You stay with them, learning from Pam the _real_ names the plants have… Maggie teaching you the common name, the one that will make sure people around understand what you are talking about.

You stay with them, for hours, until Alex comes up, pale and tense, a basket of _oranges_ and _tangerines_ for you to eat. She takes Maggie with her, leaving you to eat your fruits with Pam, who still tries to teach you how to make sure you have watered enough the _lavenders_.

You stay, even when you know something is wrong for Alex to try so hard to conceal it.

You stay, even when the words _doctor_ and Kara are repeated several times in the hushed conversation they have.

You stay because, in the end, you won’t understand what they are discussing and you can’t make sure they will translate truthfully for you.

And you stay, the last hours of sun, the last hours before Pam leaves with Doctor Quinzel, filled with worry and not little fear.

XxXxX

You ask Alex what happened in those hours she and Maggie spent with Doctor Quinzel, locked in Alex’s study.

She looks relieved, and tired, but mostly relieved, when she tells you that Doctor Quinzel gave them Kara’s diagnostic. Apparently, Alex is a doctor too and her own diagnostic matches that of Doctor Quinzel. Apparently, her worry was over how serious and tense Doctor Quinzel was when she informed Alex the diagnostic was ready.

You understand that. Doctor Quinzel is all smiles and vibrant energy. You can’t imagine her serious or tense.

Apparently, Kara is not worse than they feared, not that it makes matters better.

It simply makes them less complicated.

You beg Alex to tell you what is wrong with your baby sister. She tries. She really does. But… her Kryptonian won’t let her tell you in your language in a way that you understand completely and you can’t understand her strange words.

(Let this frustration on both your parts be the strongest incentive for you to start learning English with fervor and for you to start teaching them functional Kryptonian.)

Kara insists on making you watch one of her _movies_ after you have dinner. Again, Alex and Maggie surprise you with your share: a huge bowl of plant based food and some white chunks of something they tell you is plant based too. It’s delicious and so, so, filling… especially as Alex asks you to have a thick drink that tastes sweet and creamy that is, once again, plant and fruit based after you eat your _salad_.

You don’t think you have been as full of food for a long while now.

The _movie_ Kara makes you watch is almost like a hologram, but on a screen rather than in the air. It reminds you of the recorded shows you used to watch with Mother when you were a kid, even if the technology used in this _movie_ is rudimentary and archaic. You don’t understand a thing the people in the _movie_ say, but you like the weird music on it and you really love seeing the little animal – _dog_ , Kara says – running around.

Kara falls asleep halfway during the _movie_ and Maggie comes pick her up to put her to bed, letting you decide if you want to finish it or not. You do. You watch the whole thing, not understanding, but liking it either way.

You doubt there are real people made out of _straw_ or _tin_ and you really don’t think animals here can speak… but when Alex stays with you for a little bit, playing with Kara’s hair and prompting your sister to fall asleep faster, she explains that some _movies_ are “make believe” and you shouldn’t take them as a representation of Earth culture. She leaves shortly after the _scarecrow_ joins the girl and _dog,_ but you enjoy the _movie_ even when Kara wouldn’t explain things to you like Alex does. Those little people at the beginning of the movie, besides the _dog,_ are your favorite as they remind you of Kara … you will have to ask Maggie and Alex what they are called, though, you don’t get it while watching…

This will be a nice bonus to learning English, understanding the _movies_ , especially seeing how many boxes of them Kara has in the room with the _TV_.

After the _movie_ is done, Alex comes around to help you get ready for bed. She teaches you how to use the _DVD player_ so you can watch any movie you’d like even if any of them are not around… although the rule of you staying in your room after ten – she had to teach you how to use the _analog clock_ in your room – will make it difficult for you to watch another _movie_ tonight.

She accompanies you with your prayers, surprising you when she adds a little twist to them…

… apparently, with the information Aunt Astra gave them, with what you told her, she calculated your Name Day in Earth days and you are soon to celebrate your fifteenth Name Day. According to tradition, she changes your prayers so days before and days after the date you will thank Rao for the gift of life and the gift of being loved.

 _~Do you do this with Kara?~_ you ask her, confused, touched… it has been years, years since you used these prayers.

 _~Every year.~_ Alex smiles down at you. She has helped you to bed and is sitting at your side, her fingers once again playing with your shortest hairs, soothing you after the prayers. _~If you would allow me, I’d be delighted to do it with you too.~_

You close your eyes, burrowing your nose deeper into the _pillow_. This kind of intimacy is alien to you, it’s strange and disconcerting… but it is also calming and grounding.

Aunt Astra made sure you adapted your training to your powers. Years worth of meditation helps you tune out most of what you see and feel – even if you can’t yet tune out what you hear if you aren’t concentrating constantly – but the way that her fingers help you focus on her touch, on her voice, has allowed you to finally, finally _,_ tune _everything_ out.

 _~Yes, please.~_ The small plea leaves your lips in a whisper, so soft and instinctual that it might startle you if you weren’t half asleep already.

You can feel the smile on Alex’s face when she presses a kiss to your forehead. _~Then it shall be done. May his light greets you in the morrow.~_

 _~And may her love illuminates your dreams.~_ Your relaxed ears barely hear your murmur and you are dragged under.

Under, where the darkness is complete.

Under, where your mind can roam free.

Under, where your dreams come alive.

Under, where you can fly without powers, without ships.

Under, where you can see colors this planet doesn’t have, where you see shapes you know you won’t ever see again.

Under, where you can pretend Aunt Astra trains you to beat Kal while Uncle Non tries his hardest to make him beat you.

Under, where plants don’t exist, only hot, never ending sand. Only tall, always shiny buildings.

Under, where water is a luxury, where it’s the drink meant for only Rao and his consort, Cythonna.

Under, where your nightmares are real.

Under, where you get to see your memories again.

Where you see their faces, happy, angry, sad, tired. Alive.

Where you see your world go in a bright light. In a thunderous hit. In blinding pain.

Where you can’t stop the tears.

Where you yell, scream, cry.

For Mother.

For Father.

Where you close your eyes and still see it… see them.

Where you can’t make time still.

Where you there is nothing for you, but ghosts…

… and pain. So much pain.

You wake up with a gasp.

Alex turned off the lights and their satellite’s light illuminates the room, barely. You think, by the way the satellite is high in the sky, that it’s late… at least way later than the time Alex came accompany you with your prayers.

Your heart is racing. Your brow is furrowed and you can feel your sleep dress cling to your body.

You are drenched in sweat and fear.

Your eyes itch and the too cold air entering your lungs, shards of glass embed on your insides.

You can see the images, swimming behind your eyelids as you blink… however, the most you blink, the most you breathe, the colder you get, the images fade into nothing, into colors, into their faces.

You wiggle, trying to find a better way to sleep, to forget what you just saw. You turn, trying to chase away the sounds still clinging to your ears.

You try to concentrate on the present. In the slight breeze that comes through the open window. In the sounds on the ground below. In how the beats of your heart start getting fainter and fainter… calmer.

You concentrate in this very moment.

The sheets are rubbing your legs. The _pillow_ hot under your cheek. The short hairs on your nape stuck to your skin.

Mother’s face flashes in your mind.

You open your eyes.

You get up, shivering as the air meets your wet back. You bite your lip, nibbling at it.

Maggie gave you some _pajamas_ and you are cold. Those were soft and would cover much more than your sleeping dress.

So, you get up and change as quickly as possible.

You are still trembling when you are done, the puffiness of the pants is oddly comforting and the long sleeves of the thin shirt are too long on you… letting you fist them easily.

You look at the bed.

It is a mess.

You don’t want back in it.

The saltiness in your mouth makes you frown. Pain in your lip lets you know you have broken the skin.

You groan.

Alex will scold you again for sure.

Your brain stops for a second.

Alex.

She said to go whenever you need it. For whatever you need.

But, do you need anything?

No. Not really.

Even so, you find yourself before her – _their –_ closed door.

Alex said it will always be open for you…

… but…

… why are you here?

You can’t go back to sleep. You are too alert for that now.

You don’t want to lie in bed all night, even if the rules they gave you said you needed to be in the room after ten… it is way past ten.

Maybe if you go to the garden? It is just one small hallway away and you found peace among the flowers. Now that Pam made sure they are all healthy and alive, the space feels heavy with their scent and vibes.

Or, you could go play something in the _DVD player._ You would be just across the hall from the room you chose and you would be able to hear them come if you need to make a run for it.

Or, maybe you could raid the kitchen. You are not hungry, but food sometimes makes you feel better. Too bad you ate all the _tangerines_ with Pam, may-

 _~Kori?~_ Maggie’s voice startles you and you turn to see her coming up the stairs. _~Is something the matter?~_

Your lip finds its way to your mouth, nipping on it. You are half amazed that it is already healed and half grateful. Alex won’t see you bled a little while ago. _~No.~_

Maggie’s face shows her skepticism. _~Really?~_ she drones. _~Then why are you standing before our door at quart past one?~_

You shrug. _~You are here too, right?~_

Maggie snorts, amused. _~Well, my sister-in-law is literally a bat and she called asking for advice. I didn’t want to wake Alex or Kara, so I went downstairs… what’s your excuse?~_

You blink, her wording makes no sense and you know she might be translating literally again. _~Sister-in-law?~_

_~Kate. Alex’s sister.~_

You nod, not understanding the phrase any better, but at least you know who she is talking about.

~ _And you?~_

You shrug again. _~Can’t sleep,~_ you admit in a mumble. _~I was going into the garden,~_ you lie seamlessly, not wanting to admit you were considering knocking on the door and asking for them.

You are not a baby. You haven’t done this since you were four and Aunt Astra left for months on a mission. That time, the last time you crawled in your Father’s bed, you were reminded that you were a big kid and that the monsters of the night shouldn’t scare you anymore. She allowed you to stay, but that was the last time you looked for either of your parents in the middle of the night.

You wish that was the last time you woke up scared, though.

But, the way Alex – and Maggie to some extent – insisted you could come to them at any time made you come here without thinking. It made you think that maybe they won’t mind if you ask for help that maybe they won’t turn you down because your coming of age is coming soon.

They let Kara sleep with them, no?

But… still…

 _~I think you are lying again.~_ Maggie’s statement shouldn’t surprise you, but it does. _~And I think that tonight I will push.~_

You freeze when her hand comes rest on your shoulder, squeezing softly. _~Wha-?~_

 _~Come,~_ she says steering you to the door and opening it. _~You can stay with us,~_ she whispers.

_~But I-~_

“Mags?” Alex’s groggy voice makes you realize you were a little too loud.

She slurs something else that you miss completely and Maggie answers her in kind. In the meantime, you notice that up close their bed looks bigger than from the window, even in the dim light. It has Alex and Kara in it and you think you could fit another four people with them. Given how tiny your sister looks lying in the middle of it, maybe you could even fit five more people, maybe.

She is sleeping peacefully, thumb in mouth and turned so her back is to Alex, pressed tightly to her. She stirs as Alex sits up slightly and Alex’s hand goes to soothe her mindlessly, combing her hair out her face.

 _~Kori,~_ Alex says, making your eyes shot to her. She is wide awake now and you feel terrible for waking her up. _~Do you want to sleep with us tonight?~_

You bite your lip again.

Do you feel comfortable joining them on the bed? No.

Do you feel safe enough to be with them? Yes.

Do you think you can relax enough to fall asleep? No.

Do you think you can strive off the chill once you are with them? Yes.

Do you-

 _~Kori, come here.~_ Alex’s firm voice focuses you and you feel your feet carrying you to her without your prompting. Her right hand is still playing with Kara’s hair and her left one is beckoning you closer as Maggie climbs on Kara’s other side. _~Sit, sweetie.~_

You do as told, sitting so you are on the edge of the bed, pretty much like she sat hours before to accompany you. Her left hand finds yours and you sigh.

This closeness shouldn’t make you feel so relaxed. So protected.

 _~Lie down, please?~_ Alex requests. There is a fairly big chunk of space between the edge and her body, but even so, Maggie gently pulls Kara to her so Alex can slide closer to the middle.

Your lip is tapped again, making you blush. Alex doesn’t scold you again, but her raised eyebrow is enough for you to know what she is thinking. _~Sorry,~_ you mumble.

She smiles and her hand leaves yours. You don’t get the time to feel bad about it, though, because Alex is using her right hand to lift the covers, leaving her left arm flush on the bed. _~Lie here,~_ she tells you softly.

You look at Kara, now nestled against Maggie’s front. Maggie’s eyes are half open and her hand is rubbing small circles on Kara’s back, making sure she stays asleep, you think. Maggie’s looking at you but you don’t feel judged or even pressured…

… if anything, you feel comforted.

_~Come, Kori.~_

You nod, more to yourself than to Alex, and you crawl next to her. The way she has positioned her arm forces you to lie on top of it and she wastes no time in throwing the covers over you and pulling you against her, embracing you by the shoulders.

 _~Close your eyes,~_ she tells you the moment she’s pressed you to her side. Her hand goes to play with the hair on your nape and you tense when she guides your cheek to her shoulder. _~Shhh, sweetie. Feel my heart.~_

Still tense, and so, so, so awkward, you close your eyes and focus on what you are feeling.

Alex’s hand at your neck, tugging so lightly at your hair.

The sheets above you, warm from Alex’s body heat.

Your cheek pressed in the slight hardness of Alex’s shoulder.

The easy beat of her heart in your ear.

Alex’s leg, a little crooked, her foot as bare as yours… comforting.

You can’t help it, you hook your cold feet with her warm ones.

Alex’s heart skips and you freeze again. You didn’t realize you were so relaxed already until you tensed up again.

Alex’s breath ghost over your temple, it smells fresh and slightly cold. _~Sorry. My feet are ticklish,~_ she tells you, letting her feet intertwine with yours.

 _~You’re ticklish all over,~_ Maggie chimes in.

_~Shut up, you.~_

_~But you love my voice…~_

_~You will never let Kori fall asleep if you don’t shut it.~_

_~If Kara can sleep through my lovely voice, so can Kori.~_

_~Remind me why I married you?~_

_~My singing voice.~_

_~Rao, no. Your singing voice raises the dead.~_

_~Exactly. My singing is so good it makes the dead dance.~_

_~… Mags, you can’t even sing the “_ ABC’s.”

You let their whispered banter lull you. Alex’s hand never stops playing with your hair and you feel yourself get heavier and heavier.

_~Hey! I sang to you the day after I proposed!~_

_~And I still hate you for it.~_

_~Really? And even so, you married me?~_

_~Like I had a choice. Kara got too attached.~_

_~You wound me, woman. You wound me.~_

_~If the kids weren’t here, I would wound you alright.~_

_~Is that a promise, Ms. Sawyer?~_

Alex shifts under you, but you are so ready to sleep to mind.

_~You’re impossible.~_

_~Have you seen me? Of course, I am. Not many can be as hot as me.~_

_~ Call your lawyer, Danvers. I’m_ “divorcing” _you.~_

The last thing you hear, before falling asleep is Maggie’s quiet laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _To my fellow SuperCorp shippers..._
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _You are valid, you matter, you are not stupid for shipping two fictional characters, don't let them take away the joy we take on shipping SuperCorp, don't let them win, don't stop shipping SuperCorp, don't stop writing SuperCorp those of you who can write stories, don't stop drawing beautiful SuperCorp fan art, SuperCorp is ours and ours alone and nobody in the Supergirl can't take it away from us._
> 
>  
> 
> _I was also hurt, but then after a talk with a friend I've decided to not let them take away my love for SuperCorp and it motivated me to ship them even harder, I will not let them win._
> 
>  
> 
> _Katie like always was perfect, professional and with so much class that the rest of the cast ( Save Odette Annable I'm beginning to like her so much. ) can learn a lesson or two from her. And today I learned that we can write fan mail to Miss Katie "The Real Supergirl." McGrath. so, here is the address and if you are going to write something to her, please be respectful, don't ask her about her birthday and remember to thank her for defending our ship against everyone._
> 
>  
> 
> _Katie McGrath_  
>  “Supergirl - Season 3” (Until Apr 28, 2018)  
> [National City Films](https://www.warnerbros.com/studio/divisions/television/warner-bros-television)  
> 20146 - 100A Avenue  
> Unit 1  
> Langley BC, V1M 3G2  
> Canada
> 
>  
> 
> The beta is right. If you wanna write to Katie, please be respectful and be nice. Don't ask personal questions, just be fans letting her know how much we love her.
> 
> And for our trans followers, you matter people, you do. #TransRightsAreHumanRights. We love you. You're never a burden.


	28. Zoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex showed you the charts. She went over them with you. She explained all the numbers, the letters, the coordinates, the equations. And even so, you don’t know how she decided July 19 is Kortni’s Name Day.
> 
> You won’t say you aren’t impressed by it, though. Those calculations were not only complex but simply headache inducing.
> 
> They brought up a series of problems with Kara’s own Name Day, though, but those you’ll have to discuss and agree upon later. Right now, your focus is in other matters.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The fluff one where Alex is tired, Maggie is amazing, it's Kortni's nbay and Kara needs hugs. Lots'a hugs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that's it. 
> 
> This is the last chapter of Kismet.
> 
> ...
> 
> ...
> 
> ...
> 
> Nah, just kidding. It is though, the chapter where we start forward our story once again. The kidnapping arc from the last several chapters is done and we'll simply keep on dealing with the repercussions.
> 
> For those that skipped that arc, just know Sanvers gained a child, Kortni Zor-El, Kara's 15 yo (as of now) older sister.
> 
> Beta love for @reinakonanofate for supporting my stupid ass and for making sure I keep writing even when I'm ready to quit life! I love you!!!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy :D

Alex showed you the charts. She went over them with you. She explained all the numbers, the letters, the coordinates, the equations. And even so, you don’t know how she decided July 19 is Kortni’s Name Day.

You won’t say you aren’t impressed by it, though. Those calculations were not only complex but simply headache inducing.

They brought up a series of problems with Kara’s own Name Day, though, but those you’ll have to discuss and agree upon later. Right now, your focus is in other matters.

The days between your return home and the date are slow, focused on getting Kara used to reality and making sure Kortni is adapting to life on a new home. Harley comes and goes as she deems it necessary, talking to Kara extensively, sometimes for minutes and sometimes for hours. Pam goes and comes with her, teaching Kortni all about plants and greens on Earth.

Kortni has picked up several English words already and her prime chatting partner is Pam, who much to her credit, has started her own education in Kryptonian and is so easy-going and patient that you have trouble thinking of her as Poison Ivy.

You just hope you are not raising a little Eco-terrorist.

Because, for the last weeks, both at the DEO and at home, that is what you have been doing, no? You are starting to raise Kortni just as you are raising Kara.

It started little by little.

When she arrived, she was hard and suspicious. She looked at you with contempt and not a little hate, doing what you told her to just because she needed something from you. You and Alex saw that from the beginning and used it to your own gain to an extent.

Running tests on her, asking her questions, cross-referencing General In-Ze’s information with hers once the woman started speaking. The information given was truthful, or at least as truthful as it could be, and she was grumpy but complying.

As long as she was allowed near Kara, she let herself be moved, prodded, dictated. It bothered you, both Alex and you, but it made things easier those first days.

She was so angry and scared, but at the same time so stubborn and dedicated to Kara that she reminded you so much of Alex it hurt.

Her dedication for her sister was the same as you have come to see in Alex’s eyes and that was the only thing she needed to do to have you in her corner for eternity.

And then, on her fourth day awake, she got indignant and bratty. She got so upset over Wonder Woman you were tempted to go in the room and confront her… but Alex beat you to it. Your wife took control of the situation just like she always does with Kara and you fell a little bit more in love with her. Alex was stern and commanding but also gentle and patient.

At that moment you knew you would be taking Kortni home with you.

There was no way Alex was adopting that attitude with the girl if she wasn’t already attached to her.

(You would be lying if you say you didn’t get attached to Kortni as fast as Alex did.)

After that, things started getting… easier and so much more complicated.

Alex managed to find some weird rapport with the older girl after that first scolding, making talking to Kortni easier, but at the same time, the girl started questioning everything, demanding to be aware of anything regarding Kara and not listening to anyone other than Alex and you.

When Kortni was in a mood she wouldn’t even listen to Renee or Kate and while Kortni listens to you, it was no secret she only really _listens_ to Alex.

Whatever those two found in each other made Kortni at ease and you manage to convince her to allow Kara some time away from her worrying eyes. That allowed Alex to run tests on both kids and it also allowed Harley to talk with Kara in private.

If you are honest with yourself, you still can’t believe the infamous Harley Quinn is Kara’s doctor. When you contacted her via Kate, you were hoping to get a referral, not to have Harley fly in from Coney Island to see your sunshine herself. You are glad, there is no doubt about that. Kara is open with her and the way she is bouncing back is amazing.

You never questioned Harley’s credentials but is good to know she is as good as people always let on.

She has spent the last several days with her and she will be coming around once a month, you think, for a while. She is going to help Kara recover from her latest ordeal and she is going to help her deal with all her other issues. You would ask Alex why she didn’t get Kara help before, but you already know the answer.

Alex wouldn’t risk anyone discovering Kara is an alien.

That cat is out of the bag now, though, at least for the people who matter at a government level, so Kara can finally have what she needs the most: help.

And you would be damned if you don’t do everything in your power to make sure your sunshine, and Kortni, have the best lives they can while living in such a backwards planet.

XxXxX

 _~Eat,~_ Alex soft order makes you smile.

_~Yes, ma’am.~_

The plate is full to the brim with pancakes and fruit. To your right, Kortni is eating her weight in citruses and pancakes. You don’t get how she can eat that many lemons or how she can mix those with pancakes, but if she is happy, so are you.

The girl refusal to eat any kind of animal product has made Alex upgrade her cooking game and you moan at your first bite of delicious banana pancakes. _~Oh my Rao, Alex, this is amazing!~_

Your wife’s nose twitches. _~Yeah? Tell that to this one here.~_ She points to her back, where she is carrying Kara in a sort of sling. Kara peaks at you from over her shoulder and you raise an eyebrow.

Harley recommended letting Kara dictate how close she wants to be to any of you, but when it became obvious there were days she wanted to be practically flushed with Alex, your wife sent you to buy some wraps carriers so she could strap Kara to her and have her hands free to cook and work. Even though Hank suspended her indefinitely, Alex has been tinkering in her office every day and you are wary of what she is exactly doing.

 _~Really Kara? Did you at least give them a try?~_ You ask her as the kid wiggles to be put down. She may love being carried and she has been demanding to be strapped to Alex every morning now, but the times she stays there after breakfast are getting less and less. Thankfully.

You stand up and help Alex unwrap herself, taking Kara into your arms and setting her on her stool. _~She won’t try them,~_ Alex announces as she goes back to the stove to refill Kortni’s pancake stack.

Kara’s nose turns in disgust. _~I saw Mama make them. She used your icky milk,~_ she announces as if that was the most valid reason she won’t eat her breakfast.

You sigh. Life wasn’t kind to you when you were born on a milking farm and you are a little lactose intolerant. Kara always saw your almond milk as something nasty and simply not edible. You miss the taste of cow milk, yes, but it’s nice to eat your cereal without worries.

Now that Kortni is around, though, you don’t mind if other vegan products enter your diet.

 _~If you try one, I’ll buy you all the cotton candy you want today,~_ you tell your kid, offering a bite of your breakfast in your fork.

Kara narrow her eyes at you.

 _~Come on, sunshine. It doesn’t have “_ kale” _in it.~_

 _~It is good, Sunny,~_ Kortni chimes in, already halfway through her second tower of them.

Kara’s glare turns to her sister. _~I told you the chicken was good yesterday and you didn’t even try it,~_ she accuses.

Kortni makes a face and she pauses eating.

 _~Don’t annoy your sister,~_ Alex scolds from her place at the stove.

 _~Why do I have to eat food I don’t like and she doesn’t?~_ Kara whines. Her hold on proper Kryptonian is getting better and it takes a moment for you to understand what she is saying.

Alex, however, doesn’t miss a beat. _~You don’t eat because you don’t like trying new food,~_ she points out. _~Kori doesn’t because she can’t. If you would just try it, you would love it.~_

 _~I don’t want to try it!~_ Kara says.

 _~Then don’t,~_ Alex says simply. She is done on the stove and you can see she was busy making scrambled eggs with sausages. She places the whole pan before Kara before serving her a bowl of cantaloupe. _~Eat your fruit first.~_

This time is Kortni’s nose the one turning in disgust. _~That is awful,~_ she comments, eyeing her sister’s breakfast.

 _~We’ve gone through this,~_ Alex sighs, finally sitting down her own breakfast. Her plate is a mix of Kara’s breakfast and Kortni’s and your breakfast and you frown. Her portions are too small and she hasn’t been eating a lot lately. You don’t know if it is out of stress or something, but you don’t like it. _~Kara, don’t try force your sister to eat meats. Kortni, respect that Kara wants to eat meats.~_

_~But-~_

_~Eat.~_ Alex matter-of-fact tone cuts off the stereo protest.

The girls glare at each other over you and you sigh again. You are sitting in what used to be Kara’s seat, in the middle of the kitchen bar, but now that Kortni is around, you decided to keep the girls – and their different foods – separated at mealtime to avoid any kind of confrontation.

That leaves Alex to eat standing up.

You are going to go furniture shopping soon. You need a small table for the kitchen (the dining table is too big for the four of you… why did you even have it?) and all the new furniture and paint for the girls’ bedrooms.

Yes, the _girls’ bedrooms._

Turns out, Kara no longer wants to sleep in the bedroom she was given.

So, in the spirit of helping Kara ease into a normal life as smoothly as possible, you are moving her to the bedroom next door of Kortni’s. You raised the possibility of moving homes altogether, but you want to make Kara’s life’s easier, not coddle her and prevent her from overcoming her trauma.

You are just waiting on Kortni to name her color scheme to buy everything, though. There is nothing cuter than walking into the girls to see them teaching each other simple vocabulary in their stronger languages with a special focus on colors and snack foods. Kara even went so far as to label everything in the house with its proper English name while Kortni did the same with the closest Kryptonian word.

Both Alex’s and your vocabulary is growing too, and you are now even able to read some basic Kryptonian, something Kate can’t do and that simple thought warms your heart.

 _~What time is your sister coming?~_ You ask your wife, eyeing carefully her food, trying to silently force her to eat everything on her plate.

Alex looks at the clock above the microwave. _~Half an hour, give or take.~_

That perks Kara up immediately. _~Auntie Kate is coming today too?~_

 _~And so does Renee,~_ you tell her with a smile. Kate arrived yesterday morning and you know the only reason she chose to stay at a hotel was the pile of 15 gifts she brought Kortni that she absolutely refused to give until the _right day._ ~ _It’s Kortni’s Name Day, after all.~_

At that declaration, Kortni stops eating again. Her eyes go wide and Kara squeals, her sour mood forgotten. She jumps out of her seat and floats quickly to her sister, dropping herself over her back like a koala.

~ _Happy Name Day!~_ she exclaims.

Kortni winces at the loudness and you waste no time in prying Kara from her. _~Easy, sunshine. Use your inside voice, okay?~_

Kara smiles sheepishly, letting herself being maneuvered onto your lap. Her eggs are gone and so is her fruit so you simply cuddle her to you. _~Sorry, Mommy. Sorry, Kori.~_

Kortni smiles tightly at her. _~That’s okay.~_

You see Alex shaking her head at them, not quite exasperated, but not really amused. _~Okay girls, time to get dressed.~_

Kortni shovels in her mouth her last two pancakes and leaves her plate in the sink before you can blink twice.

 _~Mama help?~_ Kara asks.

 _~Yeah.~_ Alex puts her half eaten food and her plate and Kara’s skillet in the sink. _~Come on. We have a busy day ahead of us.~_

She picks Kara up and goes upstairs.

You gather the rest of the plates and move to the sink. Alex’s food glares at you from it.

You worry. You don’t know what is wrong with your wife.

You start on the dishes. You are the only one already dressed for the day ahead so you are the one that should be the less worried. You know Alex already has the snacks ready since last night and the only thing you’re waiting for is Kate and Renee showing up with, you have no doubt, a ton shit of gifts. At least she didn’t bring more than fifteen. You made sure of that.

 _~Maggie?~_ And speaking of the devil… you turn to see Kortni floating uneasily a few steps away.

 _~What it is, kiddo?~_ you ask, motioning with your head to come closer.

Her nose twitches and you are pleased when she comes and start drying the dishes for you. _~Do we have to go out today?~_ she asks you in a tiny voice that is so out-of-place for the young military cadet that crashed into your home, carrying an unconscious Kara, risking her life and allowing her aunt to be imprisoned…

… but not so out of place for the girl you have come to know as Kori, the young fifteen years old that, in her mind, lost her home just three years ago and that was -is- ready to lay her life to protect her sister.

 _~No. We don’t have to go out if that’s what you would prefer.~_ You keep your tone easy and calm and your focus on the dishes. _~I thought you wanted to go to the “_ zoo” _, though?~_

_~… I don’t like celebrating without…~_

You nod, passing her the last of the dishes. _~I understand. We don’t have to do anything today… or tomorrow or any day.~_

_~Kara wants to go.~_

_~So? If you don’t want to, we don’t have to go.~_

_~She will be upset.~_

_~Leave Kara to us, okay? If you don’t want to go, we don’t have to go.~_ You turn fully to her. You can see the doubt in her eyes and you ache for her.

You grew up in a big, somewhat empty house. Your older brothers left when you were too little, but there was always a couple of Lost Boys around to keep you company. You grew up doing your own stuff and doing your own thing, but your Ma always taught you to sometimes put aside your comfort to support them, just like they did with you. They had their lives; you had yours and you never owed anything to them.

However, you always knew that you didn’t have to feel guilty if you did or didn’t do something.

And by looking at Kortni, the girl’s guilt is consuming her.

You let your hand clench her shoulder. The tank top she is wearing allows you to touch her skin and you make a mental note to take her shopping again soon. From all the clothes you have bought her, she seems the most comfortable in tank tops, shorts and the odd sleeveless button up. She is also wearing Kara’s snapback. You will be buying her own one at the zoo today, you think.

 _~If you don’t want to go, we don’t need to go,~_ you repeat. _~If we arrive there and you want to come back, we will. If we are there for a couple of hours and you want to leave, we will.~_

_~But Kara-~_

_~Kara wants you to be with her, but she understands that if you don’t want to do something, she can’t force you to do it. Remember what happened when she wanted to watch_ “Bugs Bunny” _with you and you didn’t like it. What did she do?~_

 _~She changed the “_ channel. _”_

_~And when she wanted to watch a movie last night with Kate, but you wanted to read? Did she get mad at you? Were you mad she watched it without you?~_

_~No.~_ Kortni turns fully to you and her hand goes to grab onto your shirt, tugging lightly. _~But I don’t want to disappoint her.~_

Kortni grabbing onto your shirt was something that surprised you when she started doing it. You have taken her grocery shopping and clothes shopping a handful of times now, and every time she would grab onto you like this. You didn’t ask her to hold your hand or even the shopping cart, but it really intrigued you when she readily grabbed onto your clothes.

You asked Alex about it, thinking it was a Kryptonian thing, but your wife was as clueless. She, however, informed you that the two times she has taken Kortni out, the girl did the same to her.

Maybe it’s a comfort thing, like Kara’s holding on to your gemstone.

_~You won’t disappoint her for not going to the zoo today. But, you haven’t answered me. Do **you** want to go?~_

A knock at the door sounds, before the lock, is rattling.

Kate and Renee have arrived.

Even so, you don’t stop looking into Kortni’s eyes.

 _~I want to- I-~_ she says, nibbling on her lower lip. _~I want to try going.~_

 _~Honey! I’m home!~_ Kate’s loud voice rattles your brain and makes Kortni wince a little.

 _~Then we will try,~_ you reassure her with a smile. You cup the back of her neck and squeeze softly. _~We will just have to worry about Kate being mistaken for a_ “monkey”. _We don’t like her, but we don’t want the animals to suffer in our place.~_

_~Hey! I resent that!~_

Kortni giggles and your smile widens.

Crisis averted.

XxXxX

You shut the engine off and wait for Alex to undo her seat belt. Your wife turns in her seat and regards the two on the back.

It is close to eleven, but you know the place will be somewhat empty with it being a Monday, but still, Alex and you wanted to get the day started sooner than now. Kate, though, made it impossible.

True to her threats, she showed up with fifteen wrapped gifts for Kortni and didn’t allow any of you out of the house until she opened them.

All of them.

It was then that Alex, Renee and you had to explain Kortni what a gift is and why she was getting fifteen of those in one go.

Alex and you were fine with all the gifts sorely because what Kate gave her can be considered as one really, really, really big gift and a smaller, amazing one.

Really, fourteen items of clothes, three of them onesies and ten of them with the bat crest could be considered one big gift. A totally Kate gift to give.

And the other…

Well, you don’t know how she did it – you totally suspect Pam – but she got her a forever blooming rose of some kind that apparently likes music. Kate showed you how the small plant sways when someone sings to it or when soothing music is played.

You don’t think you will live down how the plant wilted when you tried singing to it too.

At least you found out Kortni has the same singing voice her sister does: lovely, amazing and magical.

And at least Kate was smart enough to give Kara a big parcel for herself filled to the brim with pencils and watercolors to avoid any jealousy.

 _~Okay, girls,~_ Alex says. _~Let’s go over the rules one last time.~_

Both Kortni and Kara nod. They both still have their seatbelts on and their eyes are trained on Alex. Kara got her snapback back and Kortni is sporting her new one with, surprise, surprise, the bat logo on it.

She also changed her clothes into some that Kate gave her.

You don’t really know what to feel seeing the girl wearing a white tank top and black shorts with little purple bats all around.

Really Kate?

“Can you give me your name, Kori?”

“Kortni Danvers-Sawyer.”

“Your age?”

“Fif-fifteen years old.”

Alex smiled. “And my name?”

Kortni frowns a little. You have been coaching her on her background story ever since she decided to come live with you. And her English, while heavily accented, can easily help her find her way to you if she gets lost. “Alex Sawyer.” She turns to you. “Maggie Danvers. You are my adopt- uh- adoptive parents.”

“Good,” Alex nods. “Do you have your phone?” Kortni holds up the device for you to see. “Great then. So, what **can** we do?”

“See the animals,” Kara pipes in. “Ask for food if we get hungry.”

“No speak,” Kortni says next, concentration on her face. “Walk alone.”

_~Yes, you can choose not to speak and you can walk on your own if, and I mean it girls, **if** we can see where you are. I don’t want you to get lost.~_

_~Yes, Mama.~_

_~Yes, Alex.~_

“Okay. Let’s go over of the things that we **can’t** do?”

“Yell. Run.”

“Be rude. We have to listen if you say no. Or if you say it’s time to leave,” Kara says, a pout on her lips. “Mama? Why would you say “no” in a zoo?”

Alex chuckles. _~I need you, girls, to remember you can discuss your way around everything, but sometimes you need to listen to us. This is one of those times. If we say no, it’s no and you won’t change our minds.~_

_~What if we want something? What if we want cotton candy? What if we want to play with the animals?~_

_~Then you ask and we will see if you can. If we say yes, then it’s yes. If we say no, it’s a no.~_

_~But-~_

_~Kara.~_

Your youngest sighs. The moment that thought enters your mind you blank out a little. You just thought of them in terms of your youngest and your oldest.

You don’t know if that makes you feel good or not.

 _~Okay, two things before we go meet Kate and Renee,~_ Alex says next. You are driving the van and you let Kate drive the sedan. Logistically, Alex and you thought it would be better to have two cars in this outing. You don’t know if you would need to drive one of the girls home and the other would like to stay. No matter what happens today, you two agreed you would let the girls dictate if they needed a break. You won’t let Kara’s moods influence Kortni’s and you won’t let Kortni cater to her sister. Not today. _~I have this for you two. It’s still in the testing phase, so I need you to tell me if you feel ill or if it hurts, okay?~_

Alex hands them over a lead box to each and you shake your head at her, amused.

Leave it to Alex to have the new dampeners ready for today. No wonder she has been working in her office non-stop.

Kara gasps, excited once she opens the box. _~Mama!~_

_~See if it’s yours, girls. They have your names engraved.~_

You see the girls searching the bracelets. They are similar to the one that Kara had before, white gold with blue stones that matches your gemstones, but this time it doesn’t have an ounce of Kryptonite on it.

Instead, Alex managed to infuse some ‘red sun’ radiation into the stones. You don’t know how she did it, you don’t _want_ to know how she managed it, but the smug and content look she is sporting makes your heart go warm. Your only concern was that the radiation would affect humans, but her research and not a small bunch of DEO volunteers eased your fears.

Alex managed to have the stones delivered to her a handful of days ago, just in time when Kara started teaching Kortni English on her own. You think that her having made the dampeners without Kara knowing is what makes her the happiest.

You see the girls switch bracelets and Kara wastes no time putting hers on. “Thank you, Mama!” she exclaims happily.

 _~What is this?~_ Kortni is wary of it and maybe she’s able to feel that the dampener is doing something on her body.

 _~A dampener,~_ Alex answers easily. _~It emulates the_ “red lamps” _effects. It’ll help you control your strength and flight.~_

Kortni frowns and her cheeks color lightly. Over the lasts few days, she has broken several glasses and the hall table. She has also ripped three books and the DVD player no longer has a play button. It’s not that she has not in control of her strength, is more like she sometimes forgets she _needs_ to be in control. Especially if Kara and she are deep into one of their lessons or if she is too far into her mind, brooding like a normal teenager.

 _~When you wear it, at least in theory, you don’t need to worry about your strength and flight, okay? Your body will be similar to that of a human,~_ Alex continues. She stares at Kortni, hard. _~You can choose to wear it or not, Kori. It’s just a safety measure.~_

_~Why?~_

Kortni’s confusion is easily heard in her tone as is Kara’s enthusiasm. Rao, you missed your baby’s enthusiasm. _~You don’t have to worry about anything when we use this! You can run and jump and everything without worry! They are awesome!~_

You catch Alex’s eyes and the sadness in them lets you know she feels the same as you. Kara’s happiness and sudden burst of energy shouldn’t be brought by a brand new dampener.

A thing that handicaps her shouldn’t make her happy.

_~If I wear this… Can I relax? Really relax?~_

Alex’s eyes are still on you and you see how they blur a little. _~Yes, sweetie. That’s the idea.~_ She looks back again and her smile doesn’t reach her eyes, not at all. But, thankfully, it doesn’t look like either kid notice it. _~Kara, can you share with Kori the rules when it comes to dampener time?~_

Your youngest – Rao that still feels weird -  nods and starts listing the “do’s and don’ts” while wearing them.

 _~I have to hold your hand the whole time?~_ Kori asks once Kara is done.

 _~No,~_ you finally join in the conversation, just in time to prevent Alex saying that, yes, she needs to. You don’t want to coddle the girls. And you know Kortni wouldn’t be happy with that rule. _~But I’d prefer if you do. Either way, you can’t wander off. You too Kara, you can choose not to hold our hand, but you need to be close. Understood?~_

Alex frowns at your side, but she doesn’t say anything as the girls give their consent.

 _~Last thing before we go,~_ Alex’s eyes are hard as she regards them. _~We do not listen to Aunt Kate. If she wants to do something you come to us and ask permission. If she says not to say anything, you come to us and share. If she wants to buy you things, you say_ “no, thank you”. _This is the most important rule, girls. Do not follow Kate.~_

Kortni looks confused and Kara is pouting. _~Mama!~_

_~Kara, I’m being serious. Your Auntie is acting weird and knowing her, she will try to do something we don’t want her to do. Please, please, let’s have fun without having to bail her out of jail.~_

_~Yes, Mama.~_

_~Yes, Alex.~_

You shake your head, amused. Yeah. Kate’s been acting weird… but she is Kate. Kate always acts weird.

_~Great! Let’s have some fun then!~_

Once you have put your backpacks on and you also have made sure both girls are not feeling off with the dampeners, you make your way to the zoo entrance…

… and you promptly face-palm when the first thing you see is Kate waiting for you with a rental double stroller.

XxXxX

The first part of the day passes amazingly at ease.

Kate was forced to return the stroller (“Come on, Al! Kara, and Maggie totally fit in it!”) and after a little banter between Alex and Kate, you spent hours walking around with no real plan in mind.

Kortni asked to see animals when prompted to choose something for her Name Day. You know this year is not as important as the one that is coming next, but still, Alex and you thought it would be nice having Kortni decide how to celebrate. She is still learning about Earth and, damn, the girl is bright.

In the handful of weeks she has been studying, she’s gained the knowledge level of a first grader. She might not know too much of American history and English, yet, but all the other subjects she has picked up she has understood and got to know easily. You are certain that her, their, tutor will be more than enough to fill in the gaps in her education.

She’s taken an interest in all plants and animals and after watching with fascination the huge animal selection in the zoo, it was decided that Kortni loves the cats, all of them, and the elephants. Well, the elephants were the biggest hits for both your girls. Kara couldn’t get on Renee’s shoulders quickly enough to see them more clealy.

Kara got fussy about two hours in and Alex let Kara be strapped to her chest for most of the time with the wraps she bought along in her all brightness and never-ending wisdom, and Kortni, not used to be in such public spaces, always stayed within reach of either of you.

You actually think the one that had it worse was Renee, trying to reel in Kate at every turn and in every exhibit. Kate was, much like Alex predicted, like a bull with sugar high in a china shop, but she made the girls laugh and for that, you didn’t push her into the crocodile tank when the chance arose.

That, and you get the feeling Alex would murder you for leaving her with two kids to raise while you serve your time in jail.

So now you are taking a breather, eating most of the stuff you brought with you plus some burgers Kate decided she _needed_ to eat for a late lunch.

You have to give it to Kate, though, your sister-in-law managed to get her wings on meatless hamburgers and you’ve never seen Kortni get so dirty while being so happy.

 _~Slow down, sweetie,~_ Alex chuckles as she tries to wipe at Kortni’s face. _~The food is not going anywhere.~_

You are accurately aware of the family next table that’s staring at you. You don’t know if they are gawking at the mountains of food or if they are bemused by the language you all talk.

Whatever is it, you smile to them, enjoying how the mother reddens and avert her eyes. Her kids, however, keep staring, as do the husband.

Well, you do make a weird sight. Neither of you looks related, save for Kara and Kori, Kate keeps trying to outdo Kara at eating fries, Renee is wearing her sunglasses, the ones that make her look like a mafia boss lady, Alex keeps trying to make the girls eat orderly and you are simply watching them contentedly sipping on your cold iced-tea.

Alex demanded the girls to take off the dampeners while they eat, resulting in a mini breakdown from Kara and a crushed fork from Kortni. The girls swear they don’t feel off with them, but Alex insisted that the dampener didn’t allow them to absorb the sun rays they needed. So, in order for them to last the whole outing without tiring too much, they needed to soak up some sun while they ate.

Considering how Kara had started rubbing her eye and Kortni was starting to yawn, you can see where your wife is coming from.

_~Mama?~_

_~Yes, baby?~_

_~Can we have_ “ice-cream?”

You blink at the absurdity of the request. Each girl has probably eaten three hamburgers and huge helpings of fruits and veggies. A bucket of fries even managed to disappear between your girls and Kate. In comparison, Renee, Alex and you ate a lot less, a hamburger each and Alex’s soda was divided between Kara and herself. You don’t get how your wife hates fries, but then again, Alex doesn’t really like over salted food that much, which meant her fries went to you and Renee.

And, apparently, your wife thinks the question is absurd too, wasting no time in denying Kara.

_~Not right now, baby. You already ate too much. I don’t want you to get sick.~_

_~But Mama!~_

_~No, Kara. That’s final.~_

_~Come on, sis. Let the girls have dessert,~_ Kate says easily. She is wearing her own pair of sunglasses and her snapback is of Wonder Woman, easily hiding her red hair. You know if she isn’t careful, some paparazzi will find her and ruin your day.

 _~Don’t encourage her, Kate.~_ You slap her shoulder. _~They already had too much to eat.~_

 _~Mommy! Mama!~_ Kara whines as she throws her napkin across the table.

Kortni shuffles so she is sitting closer to you at the crowded table. _~What is this_ “ais-kriim?” she whispers a little loudly.

Both Kate and Kara gasp at that, which is funny because not only they look the same, Kara _knows_ Kortni has never gotten ice-cream and Kate is being her stupid self, you just know it.

_~Mama! We can’t have Kortni not knowing what ice-cream is!~_

_~We can’t have the princess not tasting it!~_

Before someone can react, Kate is off and running.

Alex sighs and you feel the need to facepalm again.

Renee laughs. “I’ll be back,” she informs you as she rises to chase down her lunatic.

 _~You are not having ice-cream until tonight,~_ Alex informs them, dead serious. _~You already ate too much and we’ll be having_ “cake and ice-cream. I don’t want you to get sick now.”

“Mama!”

“No, Kara.”

Kara grumbles and crosses her arms, but thankfully she doesn’t complain again.

 _~Maggie,~_ Kortni says again, this time a little louder. _~What’s “_ ais-creem?”

_~Mama!~_

XxXxX

The engine shuts and silence reigns, prompting a deep sigh from deep within your body.

“I love them,” Alex whispers. “But I’m really, really, really glad this day is over.”

You snort, even when you feel a little bad for Alex. She is pale, sweaty and the bags under her eyes hint for an early night tonight.

And possibly a late morning tomorrow.

At least for her.

You are ready to take one for the team and let her sleep until late while you manage the three children in the morning.

Yes.

Three.

You turn in your seat, regarding the three bodies passed out in the backseat.

“I can take Kori,” Alex murmurs. She too is looking back at them. “I refuse to carry Kate.”

Your ex is, in all her batsy glory, snoring loudly as she sits in between the kids, with her head leaning back and her mouth wide open. Kara is in her booster seat, thumb in mouth and the blanket you keep for her across her lap. Both her and Kortni are using the neck pillows you got for them, both as passed out as Kate.

“I’ll take Kara,” you inform her easily. You look at the rear mirror, waiting for Renee to arrive with the other car. “Let Ree deal with her bat.”

“You mean brat,” Alex groans, finally undoing her seatbelt. “I hate her.”

You laugh softly at that. “You love her, don’t deny it.”

The small smile Alex gave you is enough of an answer. “Yeah, I love her.” She frowns a second later. “Doesn’t mean I can’t hate her too. She basically bought the entire zoo store.”

You shrug. “She was excited. She never had some one to dote on.” Kate’s history is a sad, complicated and lonely one. You are not too sure how much Kate has shared with Alex, but you are aware she has shared enough when Alex’s face softens.

“I know,” she mumbles. “And I love her for loving them… but… I really don’t want them to be spoiled, you know? I don’t know what the hell Kal-El went through, he wouldn’t say, but I’m afraid to do anything to make Kara… to make them, like him.”

The hushed confession is one that you have heard before in the privacy of your bedroom. Alex’s strongest fear is raising another Kal-El and she is doing everything she can to avoid that.

“We won’t let that happen.”

“Kori’s attitude at the beginning… Kal was like that too.”

“But she has changed.”

“Has she?”

“… She is nothing like Superman, you know,” Kate’s voice startles you and you’re lucky you don’t hit the horn, waking the girls up. “You are actually doing a great job with them.”

Alex rolls her eyes and you are jealous at how calm she is at Kate’s sudden interruption when your heart is beating like crazy. “You are my sister, your contract says you need to tell me things like that.”

“My contract also says to call you on your bullshit. So, you are talking bullshit, baby sis.”

“Kate…”

“Alex,” Kate’s tone is hard and it’s in moments like this one that you can reconcile Kate Kane, playgirl extraordinaire, with Batwoman, the bane of Batman’s life and one of the most feared heroines in the country. “Stop being so stupid and open your fucking eyes. It’s impossible for Kara to be like Kal and so far, Kortni has shown she is open to stuff Superass is still against. Yeah, sure, Kara has given you grey hairs before and I know she is a handful. I also know that getting comfortable with Kortni will be hard, but you are doing great. You give them boundaries-

“- That you so helpfully let them ignore-”

“- And you help them out when they need it. Both of you are doing great. You love them. That’s the best you can do. And you are doing great, honey.”

Alex sighs heavily at that. You hate it when she gets this insecure, this hurt. Granted, you have stopped seeing it for a long time, but ever after Kara’s kidnapping, it has come back with a vengeance. “Love is not enough sometimes.”

“No,” Kate surprises you, agreeing with your wife. “But it is when it matters the most. Like now.”

Alex falls silent at that and you catch Kate’s eyes in the rear mirror. Hers are laced with deep sadness and not a little indignation and you can relate to that. You are sure your eyes show the same emotions.

Alex is trying everything in her power not to be like her parents. Kate’s father was around for a long time, passing away a handful of years back, and there is no doubt in your heart that he loved Kate with all his might. Her mother and sister, while taken from her at a really young age, loved her too and it shows every time Kate talks about them.

Alex… Alex never knew that and she has been trying to overcompensate for it the entire time she has known Kara. She is strict, but she also tries to let Kara be a kid, something she never got the chance to be. She lets Kara explore to her heart’s content while keeping a sharp eye on her. She lets Kara be her own person, but she is always ready to catch her when she falls. She lets Kara lash out to her, hurt her, and she never, never stops loving her a bit. She put on hold her own life for the little girl who fell from the sky and you can’t understand how she can’t see it. How she still thinks she is not enough.

Your wife is a gift from the heavens, to be raised by a pair of selfish bastards, much more focused on their own lives and projects than the girl they _decided_ to have, and still be this amazing…

… if you didn’t believe Rao existed, you do now.

“You are not your parents, Al,” Kate whispers, reaching between the seats to grip onto Alex’s shoulder. “Love is enough. It’s always been.”

Alex shrugs her hand off. “Renee is here,” she announces suddenly and you know you’ve reached the point where she won’t hear about the matter anymore. “Come on, I want to have the girls up in half an hour, otherwise they will be up until too late,” she says, opening her door just as Renee shuts off the sedan.

“Ale-”

“Can you take them up? I want to make sure we have everything for the cakes.”

You want, as Kate so lovely put it, call her on her bullshit. You are the one that baked the cakes yesterday and you know they are only missing the frosting that you will apply before dinner. You also made sure Renee and Kate brought the right brands of ice-cream – one vegan and one with the most chocolate – for the girls this morning.

But, you know you have pushed too far today, so you watch your wife go into the elevator, fleeing from you and her emotions.

“We will get through her one day.”

You smile back to Kate. “I really hope so.”

XxXxX

You let the kids nap on the couch while you get the rest of the party ready. Renee and Alex work on a veggie stir fry as you get the cakes ready. One chocolate cake for Kate, Renee and Kara and one carrot, vegan one for Alex, Kori, and you. Kara refuses to even try anything Kortni eats and she and Kate are chocolate addicts so it was easier to have two cakes than trying to convince Kara to have some of the vegan cake you made for your oldest.

Kate is, thankfully, staying put in the living room, going over her emails in her phone and keeping an eye on the napping girls. After the heavy moment in the car, she knows not to push Alex so she stays out the kitchen and dining room where all the action is happening.

It’s not that Kate doesn’t know how to cook, because she does to the point she won’t starve herself and she is good at following recipes, but rather it’s because the last time she and Alex tried to cook together they ended up having a food fight and you couldn’t completely clean the eggs from the ceiling.

You are pretty sure the kitchen in your old apartment, back in Gotham, still has that stain that looks like a turtle on the ceiling, above the fridge.

 _~Mommy?~_ Kara’s sleepy voice calls your attention. She is in front of you, rubbing one eye with a hand and playing with her gemstone with the other.

“Had a good nap, baby?” you ask, looking for Kortni. The older girl is still passed out on the couch.

 _~Can I have “_ cake _” now?~_

You smile down to her, putting the last touches on the chocolate cake. It will need to chill for an hour or so before you can cut it. _~After dinner, yes, you can have two slices.~_

Kara climbs on a chair, still eyeing the cake. You will be moving the cakes to the kitchen so you can use the dining table tonight. Uh, the big table comes in handy when the family comes visit, you guess.

 _~Why only two?~_ she asks, a slight whine in her voice.

_~Because you can’t possibly be hungry with everything you ate at lunch. And you are having dinner before, so, you won’t have stomach for more than two slices.~_

Kara’s lower lip trembles and her eyes go wide.

“Alex!” you call not so loudly to where your wife is murmuring with Renee by the stove. “Come restrain your daughter!”

Alex’s attention turns to Kara. She sees the big pout and the watery eyes and smiles. _~Kara,~_ she calls her. _~Come and help me season the chicken.~_

Kara sniffs at you once before she gets up and goes to Alex, instantly asking to be picked up. You know you have hurt her feelings and she will be cross with you for the rest of the night, or at least until you give her some cake and ice-cream.

But, that’s okay.

Today has been a good day for her. She hasn’t doubt anything you have told her or anything she has seen. Not even after waking up, her most vulnerable hour, when she always fights with herself and reality.

If having Kara mad at you for an hour or so is the price you have to pay so she can wake up tomorrow like she did today, you will more than happy to pay it double.

 _~Maggie?~_ Kortni’s voice is heard next, and you see your older girl shuffling towards you pretty much like Kara did not too long ago. Her short hair is sticking in all directions and she has some dried drool on the corner of her mouth.

You shake your head at her. She really looks like Kara or rather Kara really looks like her. Both of your kids are so cute. _~Do you feel rested?~_

 _~Why do you let me sleep in the middle of the day?~_ she asks, sitting down in the chair Kara just vacated and rubbing her eye like a certain sunshine you know and love. _~We are no longer sick.~_

 _~It’s called a_ “nap”, _Kortni. It’s something humans do when they are tired and have the time for it.~_

_~I won’t be able to sleep tonight.~_

You smirk at her. Her eyes are still dulled by sleep and she still looks a little tired. _~Don’t worry about that, I’m sure you will manage.~_

She looks at you with skepticism before resting her head on her crossed arms on the table. _~I’m hungry,~_ she says instead of the argument you were expecting.

 _~Set the table, girls,~_ Alex comes over with Kara still on her hip and a handful of cutlery in hand. She lets your little girl down next to Kortni and the silverware on the table. _~Dinner is ready.~_ She picks up one of the cakes to take back to the fridge, leaving you with two pouting girls.

_~Mommy?~_

_~Do as your Mama says.~_

Kara sighs heavily but goes to retrieve the place mats. Kortni, though, has to be given a little stare down for her to start setting the table. Which, considering everything, warms your heart, quite a lot.

This is so domestic that you pause for a second, cake in hand, to observe your girls maneuver around each other, fixing the chairs and setting the mats. To see Kate sprawled on the love seat, feet resting on the coffee table, grinning like mad at her phone. To see Alex and Kate finishing up in the kitchen, not really bumping into each other, but fumbling around awkwardly.

You are milking your boss’ offer of taking all the time you need so you can help your girls acclimate and you are planning on seeing this sight every night from here on. You plan on building the family you never knew you wanted, no, the family that you _craved_ , even stronger after this whole mess.

Having Kara taken from you was terrifying. Painful. Hard.

Having Kara traumatized to the point that she sometimes forgets reality, to the point she sometimes rejects her Mama…

But.

This whole mess gave you another kid to focus on. Another alien girl to help grow and learn. Another being that needs love desperately and that hasn’t really gotten the chance to live and love freely.

Just like Alex when you first met her… just like Alex still.

To know that you can help Kortni, that you can love her… that you can help her…

 _~Need a hand?~_ Kate chimes in, practically skipping into view and you are brought back to the present.

Kara leaves a couple of glasses on the table and makes a detour, stealing the cake from your hands. You are just grateful it’s the carrot one because otherwise, you wouldn’t get it back. You watch as Kara delivers the cake to Alex before grabbing another pair of glasses and coming back.

 _~Do “_ forks” _go on the left or the right?~_ Kate’s sudden question puzzles you. _~I can’t ever remember.~_ Her frown is cute, especially as it’s directed to the fork she is holding.

 _”_ Forks _” ~go on the left and “_ knives _” on the right,~_ Kortni says confidently, placing the knives all around. Kortni, however, pauses after her own comment mid motion. _~How do **I** know that?~ _she asks the room at large while glaring down at her own hand holding a knife.

The silver dampener on her wrist shines brightly in the fake light and you make a note to have those two things removed before they start eating.

 _~Really?~_ Kate asks you. You don’t know if she is asking because she doesn’t want to believe Kortni or because she thinks this is some kind of prank. By the way she said it and the small smile directed at Kortni, you think is the latter. Kortni’s being spending hours upon hours studying human culture and it’s starting to show.

You nod. _~That’s the way you eat,~_ you answer her easily, picking up your pastry bags and cleaning up the little mess you made decorating the cakes.

_~But… but… I eat with my right hand!~_

_~That’s because you were raised by “_ wolves,” Alex says simply, bringing in the huge bowl of stir fry.

 _~We are sisters, you know that, right?~_ Kate asks and doesn’t protest when Kara takes the forks from her and starts placing them in the right place.

 _~I know. Still, doesn’t mean you weren’t raised by “_ wolves.”

Renee’s laugh joins yours and even Kara is sporting a small smile. Kortni, however, is confused. _~Can people be raised by_ “wolves?”

_~Kate was.~_

_~Don’t confuse the kid,~_ you scold Alex gently. _~I don’t think people can really be raised by animals… or at least if they do they are not able to be with other humans easily. It’s more of a saying than anything else, kiddo.~_

 _~Kate is so animal-like that she was raised by_ “wolves,” Alex explains further.

Kortni’s brow crinkles. _~That is… idiotic.~_

_~Language.~_

_~Jar!~_

_~That’s my niece!~_

Three voices overlap, startling Kortni and making you snort. _~Come on, people, let’s eat so we can have “_ cake!” Renee says, coming in with the salad and a pitcher of iced-tea. _~Sit everyone.~_

You all move around, finding your seats. It marvels you, really marvels you, how without talking you all know your places. Kara and Kortni facing each, Alex sitting between Kara and Kate and you sitting with Renee facing each of your partners. The table is long enough that there are still four seats left but that’s more than okay.

You have some years to fill in those chairs. You plan on making this family bigger. Maybe, after the trip to Blue Springs, you will manage that.

Rao, the trip to Blue Springs will surely test you and yours.

 _~May your flesh nourish my body.~_ Alex’s soft voice echoes in the room once you are seated.

 _~May your bones feed the lands,~_ Kara continues the prayer.

 _~May your spirit light the days alongside Rao’s,~_ Kortni joins.

 _~Thank you, for helping us survive.~_ They finish together and you smile.

Seeing them pray every night has been a blessing. Just like now.

 _~I have an announcement!~_ Kate says the moment you start piling your plates.

Alex freezes midway of serving Kara some chicken. _~Please, don’t.~_

 _~Please, yes!~_ Kate tosses her phone at the table, barely missing the pitcher. _~Please, sis, read out loud!~_

Alex groans and grabs the phone, prompting you to keep serving Kara. Instead of telling you all what’s all the fuss about, though, she reads silently. _~Aleeeex,~_ Kate whines when it becomes evident your wife is not sharing.

_~Shut up and let me make sense of this.~_

_~But I wanted you to read out loud!~_

_~Shut up, Candy Kane.~_

_~But Aleeeeex!~_

_~Kate,~_ Alex’s ominous tone doesn’t bode well. “What the fuck did you do?”

“Jar!”

Kate pales at the glare sent her way. It doesn’t help that Alex is sitting next to her and she is suddenly so, so, so tense and calm. _~Ummm. Surprise?~_

_~Kate!~_

_~I’m not sorry!~_

You can’t take it anymore. You rise just enough to snatch the phone from Alex’s hand and read for yourself.

It’s a press release.

From Kane’s Industries.

Addressed to all the major media companies out there.

All the major media companies, worldwide.

It’s a press release.

Indicating how Kane’s Industries’ headquarters are moving from Gotham City.

Into National City.

It’s a press release.

Indicating how Kane’s Industries has purchased Hilltree Tower… the newest, tallest, building that has been built in the heart of the city.

The building that will be renamed Kane Tower.

It’s a press release.

Indicating CEO Katherine Rebecca Kane is moving with the company.

To be ‘closer to the family’.

To fucking National City.

“What the fuck, Kate?!”

“Jar!”

You are not angry, and you know Alex isn’t either, but, really, what the fuck?

Before you can answer to the girls’ silent, yet questioning stares, or can really get into yelling at Kate, demanding your own answers, there is a knock on the door.

_~Saved by the bell!~_

Kate is up and running to the door as soon as she can and you shake your head, raising to meet whoever is at the door.

“The hell are you doing here?” Kate’s stony tone makes you jog to the door, suddenly panicky.

Thinking about it, the only people who know you live here are currently sitting at the table and you doubt the DEO would come for a friendly visit. If Director Henshaw or anyone else needed any of you for anything, they would call first.

Even at precinct, they don’t know where you live… you haven’t gotten around sharing that information with your boss and partner.

“Kane? What are you doing here?” The male voice startles you. Especially since you haven’t heard it for _months._

“The fuck are you doing here?” you ask the moment you arrive behind Kate.

“Maggie! I just heard what happened. I came to see Kara.”

You stare at him, not sure if you want to laugh or scream. Is he being serious?

“Is Alex home? I’d like to talk to her?” he says, trying to push by both of you. Kate, however, won’t stand aside.

“Wait a minute, Kent. What are you doing here?”

“None of your business, Kane. Let me pass.”

You hear movement behind you and you move just a little, assuming that Alex is coming to see what the hell he is doing here.

You are not prepared for a blonde blur to bypass you and land a solid fist against your visitor’s temple.

 _~You_ “zorkmorking clorbag!” Kortni yells as you all see him fall to the ground, unconscious.

“Kortni!” Alex finally comes and reaches for the girl, holding her against her chest. _~We don’t hit our problems away,~_ she scolds her sternly.

 _~He is a filthy_ “nadorhuan!” Kortni yells, trying to free herself. However, she’s still wearing her dampener, and her strength is no match for Alex’s.

_~I know. I think so too. But you can’t just punch people like that.~_

“Kal-El na culuma! Na uumea ulundo!”

 _~Calm down,~_ Alex says simply. _~We will talk about this once you calm down.~_ She picks Kortni up and forces her inside the apartment, all the while avoiding thrashing arms and legs. “You two, bring him in. I want to land a punch on him too.”

You and Kate blink at the little display before turning as one to the man on the floor. Without thinking about it, both of you grab a foot and drag him inside, leaving him just pass the door.

“Mommy?”

You look to see Kara cuddled onto Renee’s lap. Alex and Kortni are nowhere to be seen, but you can hear Kortni’s voice from somewhere. You can’t fault her anger, no, and you won’t deny it was amazing seeing her bitch slap him like that, but Alex is right and you can’t really let Kortni express her anger hitting him.

“It’s fine, Kara. Why don’t you go with Auntie Renee to watch a movie while we sort this mess out?”

“Is Kal alright?”

You look down again, seeing how Superman is still unconscious. He will be fine, you know. “Yes, he is. Go upstairs, baby. We will come fetch you soon.”

Kara nods and doesn’t protest when Renee picks her up to leave the room.

Give it to Clark fucking Kent to ruin your dinner.

“Hey, Mags…” Kate says.

“Yeah?”

“How could Kortni knock him out?” she asks. “She is wearing her bracelet.”

You blink.

Damn it.

How could Kortni do that while wearing her dampener?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Salutations dear readers..._
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _First of all, I would like to apologize for my lateness with chapter 27, but like Char said my laptop died on me, and I tried everything I could to fix and I even had a computer expert helping me and we couldn't do anything at all. *Sigh* So, I had to edit chapter 27 on my desktop computer (Don't get me wrong I like my desktop computer, but I don't like when it comes to editing "Kismet") If there were any horrible grammatical or/and spelling mistakes I would like to apologize._
> 
>  
> 
> _Now for the good news, (I have a new laptop, so, I can go back to my regular editing speed) and chapter 29 is ready too!!! So Hooray!!! And I'm currently working on editing chapter 30 so hopefully, you will get to read them very soon. And chapter 31 is already in the works, Huzzah!!!_
> 
>  
> 
> _Kortni is my new hero!! Love her. Thank you for knocking the lights out of Kal-El, please do it again._
> 
>  
> 
> _Also, SuperCorp Forever!!!!!_
> 
>  
> 
> I hate that she edits faster than I can write... but, that means that (hopefully) she'll release chapter 29 even if I'm not quiet done with chapter 31.
> 
> Do any of you miss the nice 3k long chapters? Cause I surely do.
> 
> Prompts and comments are welcomed below!


	29. Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a disaster.
> 
> That’s the only way you can put it.
> 
> This is a whole and complete disaster.
> 
> And you are not even sure what the hell started it.
> 
> Or,
> 
> Tensions rise, people fight and there's lots of hugs and tears all around.
> 
> (Let's be honest, fluff and I don't mix.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A helpful anon asked us to do a recap of all that's happened so far in Kismet cause, and I agree, the story has gotten a little complicated and we (I include myself there) should've miss something among all the mess. (I really forget things about Kismet plot-wise and @reinakonanofate is the one to save my ass there).
> 
> So, from now on, every time a 'chapter' or an 'arc' in their lives is done (note that this 'arcs' can take several chapters to complete) we'll do a recap about everything Kismet related. 
> 
> Due character's restrictions in the notes, some good news and some bad news will be posted in the End Notes and the recap will be posted here...  
> \---  
> PREVIOUSLY ON _Kismet_ :
> 
> Alex met Maggie in a café at Gotham University, and after months of talking, Alex finally relented to a date with the cute police cadet. Their date is interrupted when Alex is called about a hysterical Kara and Maggie discovers that Alex is the guardian of a traumatized ten years old alien.
> 
> Maggie and Alex start dating officially and Kara and Alex get smitten with the athletic almost police officer, so, after a huge fight around their eight-month dating, Maggie moves in. Around this time Kara starts calling them Mom and Mama.
> 
> Clark and Lois come visit for Kara's eleventh birthday and it's a disaster: Kal-El is an ass and he doesn't care about Kara at all. 
> 
> That year (2009) is the first year Kara and Alex celebrate Christmas with Maggie's help. They also get to mourn before that date Eliza and Jeremiah's passing: they got hit by truck and Eliza died instantly while Jeremiah spent a week in the hospital before dying.
> 
> After celebrating their first year anniversary and Alex's birthday (when Alex meets Kate Kane and Renee Montoya for the first time), Maggie graduates from Gotham's Police Academy and it's a joyous occasion. The event is so important that several newspapers and magazines cover the event.
> 
> Shortly after, Maggie and Kara go ring hunting for Alex. Maggie knows she's met the love of her life and she wants to tie the knot soon. However, as they are happily returning home with the perfect ring purchased, a druggie tries to rob them with a gun and Kara, sweet Kara, stops a couple of bullets from hitting her Mommy.
> 
> This incident prompts the governmental organization CADMUS to seek Kara. CADMUS is known to violate human rights and hunt down aliens for experimentation and research. Eliza and Jeremiah worked for CADMUS and Maggie's best friend, Lucy, works for them too. Kara is saved from CADMUS by Susan Vasquez, Alex's friend and Kara's longtime babysitter, who works for the DEO. 
> 
> The DEO strikes a deal with Alex: in exchange for Alex to work for them, they keep CADMUS away from Kara. Hank Henshaw, who used to work with Jeremiah, is a man Alex knows well. He was the one that taught Alex all about the stars and that spent time with her when her parents wouldn't care.
> 
> The new job means the family (Alex and Maggie had to marry in order to protect Kara from CADMUS) has to move to National City and, just a week after the move, disaster strikes: Kara is kidnapped by none other than her Aunt Astra and... Kortni Zor-El, first daughter of Alura In-Ze and Lara Lor-Van, a protege of Zor-El, first cousin to Kal El and biological big sister of Kara Zor-El.
> 
> Kara is kept for five weeks in which Alex starts her training as a DEO agent and the DEO Kate, Wonder Woman and her kid and the Amazons and Gotham City Sirens all helped look for her. But it isn't until Kortni sees that her sister is sick that she brings her back to Alex and Maggie.
> 
> Once back and once Astra is arrested, Kortni Zor-El is welcomed into the Sanvers' household to be near her sister. She's adjusting as well as she can and she's starting to open to Alex and Maggie who, at the beginning, she hated with a passion. 
> 
> Kara is suffering from PTSD and she's doubting reality and she's struggling with adapting back to her life. She's loved and supported, so she's starting to get better... even if she's regressing a little more than usual. 
> 
> Kate and Renee, left in Gotham City, are planning on moving into National City to be near the family.
> 
> Alex and Maggie are now stronger than ever after the whole mess with Kara's kidnapping and they're planning on visiting Maggie's family soon.
> 
> \----
> 
> That's the summary of Kismet so far.
> 
> And now, proceed to read the latest chapter.
> 
> Y'all hate me for this one. Sorry, not sorry.

This is a disaster.

That’s the only way you can put it.

This is a whole and complete disaster.

And you are not even sure what the hell started it.

After Kortni’s Name Day things became… tense.

Kal-El didn’t hang around long enough to be punched again by Kortni, but he did long enough so you could get a half-assed excuse for his absence. According to him, he was called to aid in another dimension where, apparently, they don’t have aliens and needed the backup to face an otherworldly invasion.

You are all for the multiverse theory and you understand it at some level, but his excuse sits ill with you.

No matter if he deals with things that are out of your knowledge, out of your jurisdiction. He could have said something to someone and the ass didn’t.

He was definitely not in another ‘Earth’ as he so put it.

You didn’t let Kortni out your office until Kal left and you didn’t let Kara downstairs until her sister had calmed down.

Or, well, at least calmed down enough that she let you explain to her in detail why she couldn’t kill Kal-El with her fists.

You had a mad teen on your hands that whole night and the entire next day. And until today, well, she was still upset and low-key angry with you.

Until today, that’s it, when she yelled at Kara and Kara yelled back at her.

You really don’t know what started it.

But, in hindsight, you at least know what _started_ it.

XxXxX

You knock on the door, knowing you won’t get an answer.

“She’s very angry.”

You look at Maggie with a slight glare. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Do you want any help with her?” Maggie asks you instead.

“No. Not really.”

You’ve already tried talking with Kara, you already tried having her version of the events, but your baby is so, so, so, angry that she doesn’t want her Mommy or you talking to her. She is fuming and you know she is ready to throw punches if she sees Kortni anytime soon. The couch in your office could testify to that.

And here you thought you would never have to deal with a hit-happy Kara again. You really don’t miss that stage of her childhood. And you really don’t miss having your furniture replaced after one of Kara’s angry episodes.

“I’ll be with Kara, then,” Maggie tells you softly. You are glad that she is not pushing. You don’t know what will happen the moment you enter Kortni’s room, but you know that the girl will feel attacked if you and Maggie confront her at the same time.

_~Kortni,~_ you knock at her door again. _~I need to speak to you.~_

_~Go away,~_ she calls from inside just loud enough for you to hear her and a weight lifts from your shoulders at knowing she is indeed in her room.

When you intervened between the girls and ordered Kortni upstairs to her room and Kara to your office you didn’t know for certain if the older girl would obey and stay put for this long.

_~We need to talk,~_ you tell her simply.

_~I don’t want to.~_

You shake your head. Figures she would be as stubborn as Kara. You are glad you are not the one angry; this way you can jump into “damage-control” mood as quickly as possible instead of having to wait for everything to cool down. _~Why not?~_

_~I don’t want to.~_

_~I’m sorry, but that’s not an acceptable answer. You need to give me more than that.~_

You know what it's like being too angry to deal with people. You know what it’s to be so angry that you fear you will hurt someone. You also know what is to be so hurt you want space and time. You know what is to be so hurt and disappointed that you simply won’t deal with your problems, head-on.

Kortni can be angry. She can be sad and you will respect that, but you need her to open up to you sooner or later. You have already given her a couple of hours to cool down after you had this same dance before checking on Kara.

The only way you will back down is if she asks you verbally.

Then, you will try again in another couple of hours.

At least the girls had breakfast before their fight. You don’t have to worry if they get hungry anything soon.

_~Let me be.~_

_~Not until you give me a reasonable answer. That, or you let me in.~_ You wait a moment before trying the door.

It’s unlocked.

_~Kortni Zor-El, I’m coming in unless you give me a good reason.~_

You are ready to enter when her voice comes through the door, louder than the other times. _~I want to be alone.~_

You hear shuffling from the other side and the door suddenly presses against your hand. If you had a guess, you would say Kortni just sat behind the door. _~I can let you be alone,~_ you tell her softly. _~However, I can’t let you run from this. You were rude and you hurt Kara. I think you were hurt too and I would like to talk about that.~_

_~I wasn’t hurt. And I don’t want to talk to you.~_

You sigh sadly at that. The hurt is plain in her voice, as it’s the slight tremor in it that indicates tears. _~Would you rather talk with Maggie?~_

_~… No,~_ she sniffs out.

You slide along the door, resting your weight on it and sitting on the floor. If waiting on the other side a piece of wood will help the girl sort through her feelings, you will gladly do it.

_~Okay,~_ you concede easily, trying your hardest to ignore the sniffs coming from inside the room. _~I’ll be here for when you are ready to talk.~_

You get your phone out. Kara made you download Angry Birds and you are not shy to admit you have been trying to beat her score for an awfully long time now. You need anything and everything to not succumb and enter the room to comfort Kortni.

She asked for space, after all.

You _finally_ passed level 68 and you are planning your best move for level 75 when Kortni speaks up.

_~A-Alex?~_

Your heart breaks at how she is still crying. At how vulnerable she sounds. _~Yes, sweetie?~_

_~I’m s-sorry.~_

You listen a beat, waiting for her to say anything else. _~Can I come in now?~_ you ask her barely above a whisper. You know she doesn’t do well with loud noises just as she knows you won’t be able to hear her if she doesn’t speak loud enough. So, you try to make your voice as soft as possible. And you know she tries her hardest to be heard.

This will be better face-to-face.

The shuffling is back and the door moves under your weight. _~C-Come in.~_

You waste no time in scrambling to your feet, opening the door as gently as you can.

Kortni’s pale face in the darkened room is the first thing you see.

The tear tracks on her cheeks, the second.

Her lithe form trembling is the third.

_~Can I hug you?~_ you ask knowing she rejected your hand on her shoulder when you first sent her to her room.

She rubs at her eye and nods.

You have her in your arms in an instant. You press her close to your chest and you close your eyes when her arms go around your neck and a broken sob is pressed against your skin. Your next movement is instinctive.

You scoop down and lift her by the hips, prompting her legs to go around your middle. She is taller than Kara, but not too heavier. Her taller frame makes it so she is hunched a little over you, but it’s not uncomfortable. Her legs are long, but still, it’s not too different from what you are used to.

Kortni is not Kara. But she is Kara enough that you can melt in the embrace and the kid does the same against you.

Holding her weight easily, you pace the room, soothing her best as you know, bouncing her and telling her sweet nothings as she hides her tears on your neck. You can see in the barely there light how she has her meager possessions scattered on the carpet and you have no doubt she was contemplating them for a long time before you come knock on her door.

A broken ring with a sigil, a thin gold-colored chain, a soft blanket and a small cube, no bigger than a Rubik’s cube, glaring up at you. Those were the possessions you had to check over, the only things that they found inside the ship that could possibly belong to Kortni. The clothes she had, a couple of uniforms and some loose garments, were so worn out you don’t think Kortni could keep wearing them, but even so, everything was given back to her when you found nothing dangerous.

The cube puzzles you, though. It’s a device of some kind, you are sure, but a harmless one. You will ask about it later, right now your sole priority is having both girls healthy and settled. And you can’t do that if they are fighting and, at least in Kortni’s case, feeling like the world is crushing her.

_~Shh, sweetie. Let it out, little star, let it out.~_

At the new nickname, she starts crying harder and you wonder for a moment if you messed it up. If you over stepped a line. If you have made things harder. If you simply fucked up.

Those thoughts go out the window when her arms and legs squeeze you with enough force to bruise.

_~Shh, little star. Shhh. You’re fine. You’re fine.~_

_~I-I’m sorry.~_

_~I know, sweetie, I know. But that won’t make it better.~_

_~H-How?~_

_~You need to apologize.~_

_~I-I know.~_

_~… And you need to talk. You need to figure out why you snapped like that.~_

_~… Why?~_

You smile sadly at that. _~It sucks talking about how we feel, Kori. It really does. But it helps.~_

And, as much as you personally hate it, you have been making Kara talk through her feelings since she was old enough to talk. The way she sees life makes it difficult for her to connect with the world and so talking helped her adapt as best as she could. Talking also helped with her anger issues when she was younger. And even though talking was never easy, you know she always felt lighter after your talks.

You too have tried to talk through your own feelings, but before Maggie, there was no one to help you through them. Kara is a child, you certainly can’t burden her with them. Susan helps, sure, she is your best friend, but for the longest of time you were separated by several states and talking to her was not always an option.

Keeping a diary helped… some. But, for you at least, nothing beats talking.

_~It helps to know what makes you angry, what makes you sad. What frustrates you and what makes you panic,~_ you say into her hair, pacing alongside the darkened window. You don’t know if she was trying to avoid the sun or if she is a little bit like you and she prefers to mop in the darkness, but the lack of light is comforting to you too. _~We can’t really escape everything that hurts, but it helps to know what does so we can be ready when we have to face it.~_

_~I-I…~_

_~I know, little star. I know. You don’t have to talk right now.~_

_~…No?~_ she asks in a really tiny voice.

_~No.~_ You kiss her hair, letting her sunny smell fill your nose. Rao, she even smells like Kara. _~You can lay down for a little bit. You can go eat something. You can read… as long as you can tell me what really happened. As long as you really take the time to think why you fought with Kara.~_

_~I-I can’t.~_

_~Can’t what, sweetie? Talk to me?~_

_~… It’s not that. I-I don’t know why I fought with her.~_

You nod at that. It’s hard to work out what ticks you off and you know it. You certainly can relate.

You sit on the bed, arranging the girl so she can be seated comfortably on your lap. _~And that’s why talking helps.~_

Kortni sniffs, the last of her tears rolling down her cheeks. She looks up to you and her blue-grey eyes mesmerize you. The deepness of their pain or their sadness is one you have seen before when you looked into the mirror.

That look is gone on your eyes now, though, and an iron claw clutches your heart at seeing it on such a young girl.

(You dismiss the knowledge that you have sported that same look at that same age.)

You brush some of her short hair away from her face. _~Do you feel any better?~_ you ask her in a whisper.

The girl nods before cuddling in your neck.

You sigh. _~Good.~_

The silence that follows is comfortable and easy. By this time Kara would already be asleep.

_~Can we stay like this for a little bit?~_

You smile. _~Sure we can.~_ You drop another kiss to her head. _~Do you want to lie down a little bit?~_

Kortni nods against your skin so you arrange yourselves so you can cuddle with the girl.

Ever since that first-night Kortni slept beside you, she has been making her way to your bed one way or another. No matter if she is dragged there by Kara, or if Maggie finds her lurking in the hallways near midnight, or if you go check on her and find her in the solar room staring at the orchids, or if she comes on her own volition after a harsh nightmare, she has found her way to your arms every single night.

It’s not uncomfortable. It never was, but the familiarity you share with her now is grander than what you had at the beginning of this chapter of your life.

You are unabashedly glad.

Moments after you arrange Kortni so she can lie on your shoulder, she is out.

And your small smile widens.

She is so like Kara.

And at the same time, she is her own person. With her ups and downs. Likes and dislikes. Anger and pain. All mixed up in a kid you really didn’t think you would come to care so deeply for.

You close your eyes, intent on waiting for her to wake up.

On her to open up.

XxXxX

Kortni sleeps soundly beside you and you entertain yourself playing with the baby hairs at her nape. The bob cut you gave her makes her look a little younger than her fifteen years, but it also makes her look harder, more world-weary.

You think that is true for her, at least that she is world-weary.

You smile when you remember Kate trying to put lace on her hair, little pink bows here and there. Kortni was a good sport and let herself be used as a doll, but the look of dismay on her face when she saw her reflection is etched in your mind.

It was hilariously horrible.

And Kate’s laughter didn’t really help matters.

Not that Kate always really helps. Except, she always does.

Your stupid sister Kate. How you thank Rao for such a gift.

The stupid bat made it so that she could follow you to National City. Yes, it would take months before she can complete the move, but she is arranging her whole company so she can be near you. Near her family.

Rao, she is so dumb and impulsive… but with a heart so, so, so, so, big that it humbles you.

And with such a mean streak to make you feel guilty that you want to kill her.

After the whole deal with Kal-El, Kate spent the morning making sad eyes at you and Maggie and saying her usual silly words, guilt tripping you into admitting out loud that you are happy she is moving to National City.

(“I understand. You don’t love me and you don’t want me around. I’ll cancel everything… Em will be happy she gets to keep me at Gotham forever.”

“Are you keeping the Gotham building?”

“Of course I am, Margaret. You don’t want me here.”

“Dammit, Kate. Stop being such a crybaby.”

“No, no. You’re right, Alexandra. Thinking you loved me was my mistake. It won’t happen again.”)

It’s not that you are not happy, Rao, no. It’s the principle of the matter. Kate is always acting without thinking and it concerned you she bit more than she can chew. You don’t doubt her prowess as CEO, nor her brilliant mind, but well, moving a billionaire company is not an easy feat and not something that is done in a spur of the moment decision.

Rao, Kane’s Industries are worth three times Wayne Enterprises and Bruce Wayne took five years to open his branch in Starlight City.

Moving the Headquarters of such a big company in less than a year… Kate is insane and you had to sit with her for hours, once you were sure the kids were entertained with movies and with Maggie and Renee keeping an eye on them, so you could make sense of her plans. You went with her through all her data, through all her projections, through the detailed schedule that will allow her to open the new headquarters before Christmas.

Her calculations and her monthly goals for the change are reasonable and you were reminded exactly how smart your big sister is.

It also served for you to realize you actually paid attention to your mandatory management classes.

Figures.

You are still concerned she really won’t be able to pull this off, but you would be lying if you say you don’t feel your heart warm at knowing Kate is changing her whole company for you.

(“Hey, Kate… you know I do love you, right?”

“Do you really?”

“Kaaaate. Please. I’m sorry we came so strong but…”

“I get it, Al. I do. It’s going to be rough, sure, but it’s worth it. I love you. All of you. I-I can’t be six hours away. I can’t.”

“Thank you. And we love you too… We love Renee more, sure, but we still love you.”

“Alex! We were having a moment!

“Ew! I’m your sister! Gross!”

“You little piece of shit.”

“ _Your_ little piece of shit.”)

You love her, you will shout that to the skies. You just found her, but your love for her is astounding. It’s different from how you love Kara, whom you feel actually was born from your womb. It’s different from the love you share with Maggie, whom you feel completes you, who centers you and grounds you.

No, what you feel for Kate is something you have never felt and by the way she looks at you, you know the feeling is mutual.

That is the same way Kortni looks at Kara and for that, you know they will work out their argument.

You feel movement and look down just in time to see a frown appear in Kortni’s face. She is still asleep and you waste no time in letting your fingers smooth over her crinkle, massaging slightly.

_~What troubles you, little star?~_ you murmur to the air. You know it’s a stupid question, this girl bears the weight of the world on her shoulders, and what troubles her is much more than you can comprehend. Still, it would be nice knowing if there is a way for you to share her burdens.

Alien or not, she is still a kid. She might be considered an accomplished soldier, she might be a year away from her planet’s equivalent of adulthood, she might have seen her home explode, she might have been forced to grow beyond her years… but she is still a kid. She still needs help to navigate around life.

She still deserves a chance to be free of worry, free of pain. 

Kortni shifts, snuggling closer to you. _~Father?~_ she mumbles.

You sigh, smiling sadly. _~Sorry, sweetie, no.~_ Your fingers don’t stop tracing her eyebrows.

_~Alex?~_ She burrows deeper into you, tangling her feet with yours.

_~How are you feeling, love?~_

_~Head hurts.~_

Your fingers automatically start massaging her scalp. _~You need some sun. The pain will fade with that.~_

Kortni shifts again, allowing you to massage her temples. _~No sun.~_

_~Why?~_

_~No sun.~_

You sigh yet again. Stubborn little thing, knowing what helps her and choosing to ignore it.

The worst part? You understand exactly why she does it.

_~Okay. Are you ready to talk, sweetie?~_

_~No.~_

Her response comes too quickly and you pause your massage. _~Kortni.~_

She whines lowly and wiggles. “Please?”

Her use of English surprises you. She hasn’t really spoken the language outside the lessons Kara, Maggie and you have given her. _~Kortni?~_

She buries her nose against your shirt, inhaling deeply, before pushing away from you.

_~Kortni?~_

She arranges herself so she is now sitting cross-legged, facing you. _~I’m sorry I brought disrespect onto your home.~_

Oh. The change in her is astounding. She is sitting with her back straight and her red eyes are hard in the low light. Gone is the girl you cuddled for the last hour. Gone is the kid that allowed herself to be comforted. Gone is the child that was so small in your arms.

What’s left is the young soldier that took Kara. That followed orders without hesitation. That was brought up to be one of the best in her Guild.

That, as you understand it, wasn’t allowed to be vulnerable. To feel. 

So, you sit up, mirroring her stance, palms over your knees and all. _~Apology accepted.~_

_~It won’t happen again.~_

You shake your head at that, almost amused at her solemn tone and the lie. _~We both know you can’t control that.~_

_~No. I will do my penance and I will leave Kara alone… I will go with the Prince woman. I-~_

You touch the back of her hand, interrupting her. Your heart is in your throat and you can’t believe what you are hearing. _~Don’t.~_

_~But-~_

_~Stop. Stop.~_ You grab both her hands in yours. _~I know you mean you are sorry, I do. What you did was out of line and you hurt Kara, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be fixed. It doesn’t mean you need to leave. It doesn’t mean for a second you have to go away.~_

_~I don’t belong here.~_

You pause at that, seeing that, behind the hardened eyes, the stoic mask, there is a whole lot of pain and loss and confusion. _~What do you mean?~_

Her hands slid out of yours. _~This is wrong.~_

_~Kortni?~_

The girl is out of the bed and is pacing alongside the window, pretty much like you did an hour before with her on your arms. _~This is wrong, so wrong._ ~ You wait for her, she is finally opening up, but she is also freaking you out a little bit. _~I hate you,~_ she says, suddenly stopping her pacing and she’s left staring at you, unblinkingly.

You… you weren’t prepared for that statement. Your breath catches and your heart stops. The blood in your veins freezes and your head swirls, making you dizzy and nauseous.

_~I mean, I should hate you.~_ Her voice cracks as she starts pacing again. _~I did. I should. B-But I can’t. And that’s w-wrong. So wrong.~_

_~Kortni…~_

_~There ar- were, no race better than the Kryptonians. There was no greater city in the universe than Kandor. We are the best, Rao made sure of that. Rao’s light shined upon us, and no other.~_ The new tears running down her cheeks do nothing to interrupt her speech. _~But-But, Rao shines upon you too. He has blessed you, and Maggie, and tha-, that is wrong._

_~I was ready to hate you. You turned Kara into a useless human, just like the rest of this horrible planet. I hated you, I really did. I saw how you made my sister weak, how you coddle her, how you chase away her fears… no child on Kandor would be like Kara. Her tenth Name Day has passed! She should be studying under the Science Guild! She should know much more than she already does. She is as ignorant as an infant! She is as weak as a baby! She is useless! She can’t even tell dream from reality!~_

_~That’s because she is scared.~_ You are starting to understand her reasoning. It’s crooked and not rational. But at least you are coming to see what’s really bothering her.

_~I know! But she is not normal! She acts like a toddler! She does things she shouldn’t!~_

You nod. _~Like sucking her thumb.~_

_~Sleeping with you! No kid does that! No kid should seek comfort like that!~_

_~Kal-El thinks like that, yes.~_ It’s a low blow, you know it, but you need to make Kortni see exactly how she is sounding.

Kortni stops at that. She is so still she would be a statue if her chest didn’t show how agitated she is. _~Do not compare me to him.~_

_~You are speaking exactly like him.~_ Rao, how you hate yourself for saying that.

The girl is in front of you in a second, glaring. Her eyes shine a deep red and you fight with yourself not to blink. Not to react. _~Take that back!~_

_~Why don’t you tell **me** , instead, why you two think like that? This is not the first time you act like him. Remember last time, sweetie, when you met Diana. What did I tell you?~_

Her chest heaves, but her eyes lose some of their glow.

_~Do you remember, sweetie?~_

_~I-I-~_

_~Think, little star. What did I tell you?~_ Right. Focus her attention on other matters. Make her remember something so she can think of that, so she can control her powers. So she can get out the spiraling mess she is in right now.

_~That-That I’m in a new place now a-and I need to respect it. I need to learn to stop judging what’s different from what I know…~_

_~… Without knowing why or how it’s different,~_ you finish for her, smiling. _~Things are different here, sweetie. Kara is different from you or Kal because she had to grow up here. She is not useless, Kori. She is just different from what you are used to.~_

_~She should be perfect. We all are.~_

The conviction in her voice is complete. Her face so hard and devoid of emotion that it scares you a little. _~What do you mean?~_

_~We were made in a chamber, we are designed to be flawless… she shouldn’t be doubting reality.~_

_~We’ve talked about this… Kara is suffering something we call_ “PTSD.” You have gone through this with Kortni before, even if the language barrier made it difficult to convey exactly what’s happening with Kara. Why she is different. Why she is not like the usual eleven-years-old.

There are no words in Kryptonian to explain Kortni how Kara being on the spectrum makes things different for her, even in human standards. It’s impossible to you to tell her how, even without the PTSD, Kara is never going to be what Kortni expects of her.

Kara would never be as manipulative as Kal-El. Kara is never going to be able to read emotions like Maggie. She is never going to want to try anything that can be edible like you. She is never going to know why people consider her defective. She is different, but she is not broken. She is perfect and it frustrates you to no end that you can’t explain it to Kortni.

_~She is sick. She shouldn’t be sick. She should be perfect.~_

  _~And she is perfect just the way she is. She is not sick, Kori. Not at all. She is just different. She is going through a rough time.~_

_~Why? Why can’t she be normal?~_ She resumes her pacing and you know you need to calm her down before she works herself up again.

_~She is never going to be normal, sweetie. Just like you are never going to be human. You two are too special to be normal.~_

_~But she is sick! We are above any sickness!~_

_~But she is not sick.~_

_~She is not perfect.~_

_~No. She isn’t. But, no one is perfect, sweetie. Only Rao is, and even he isn’t free of pain, of loss. No one can be like him, Kortni, we can only strive to try,~_ you plead with her. What you know of their culture puts so much emphasis on Rao, so much on how amazing Kryptonians are. They are completely xenophobes and they can’t seem to realize the universe isn’t at their beck and call.

_~She shouldn’t be more human than Kryptonian!~_

_~Kori, Kori,~_ you grab her arm when she passes by you. _~Stop, sweetie, stop. Listen to me, Kortni Zor-El. Imagine being a baby, a little thing, just waking up with no way of communicating, with not a familiar face around. Imagine not understanding anything, missing everyone. Wasn’t it better for her to learn to be human? To live without that pain?~_

_~She should have been taught our ways.~_

_~Really Kortni? And who’d teach her? Me? My sixth Name Day had barely passed when Kal-El arrived at Earth. He taught me too little, just enough so I could read the information he brought with him. It wasn’t until Kara got here that I really started researching._

_~Kal-El? You know him better than me, Kori. He won’t ever take care of Kara. The best thing he did for her was leaving her to my parents._

_~And my parents? They never bothered. As long as Kara was behaving, was passing as a normal human, they didn’t care.~_

_~Kara’s not a burden!~_ Her eyes glow again, even if just a little, but her breathing is normal and you take that as a small victory.

_~And I never said she was. What I mean, Kortni Zor-El is that there was no one to teach her. You can’t ask for something that couldn’t happen. We made sure she was happy. She was healthy. That’s all we could do.~_

_~I should have been with her.~_

And that’s the heart of the matter, isn’t it? Why is Kortni so angry, why she is so frustrated.

_~But you weren’t. It wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault. Rao dealt you this destiny, sweetie, and you have to make the most of it.~_ You regard her, how she’s nibbling at her lip, how nervous, heartbroken she is. _~You missed much, Kortni. But, are you sure you want to miss more?~_

The girl deflates before you.

_~Come here.~_ You open your arms to her, half expecting her to stay on her feet. However, you’re grateful that she climbs onto your lap after a few seconds of hesitation. You embrace her tightly and she hides her nose on your neck. _~If you truly think you will be better with Diana and her sisters, we will make it happen. But I don’t think that’s what you want. I know you want to be with Kara, sweetie. You don’t have to leave. You made a mistake, Kara made a mistake, but now that you know a little of what’s bothering you, we can talk it out. We can make it better.~_

Kortni is silent. Part of you thinks she is simply absorbing your words, but the larger, more reasonable part of you knows she is simply overthinking things. You can feel her lip is again between her teeth and she is playing with your gemstone like Kara does. You don’t want to interrupt her, so you don’t call attention to her broken lip, but you do let your hand rub small circles on her lower back.

_~I shouldn’t feel comforted by this,~_ she says after a while, so matter of fact and so serious that it’s disconcerting. 

_~Should we stop?~_

_~Ye- No… I don’t know,~_ she whines.

You can feel the moment is heavy, but you can help it. She sounds so much like Kara that you simply can’t help it.

You snort.

You are rewarded with her pushing away from you almost to the point of falling off your lap. However, your weeks in intense training come in handy when you’re able to catch her before she pummels to the ground. _~I’m sorry, sweetie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh, I swear.~_ Kortni glares up at you and the sight of her broken lip makes you sigh. _~I’m sorry.~_

_~Then why?~_

You pull her to your chest again, resting your chin on her head. _~You are cute when you whine and you were so much like Kara I couldn’t help myself. I’m sorry.~_

Kortni tenses. _~I am like Kara?~_

The incredulity of her voice makes your chest ache. ~ _Yes, sweetie. You two are remarkably alike.~_

_~… She is my sister…~_

_~Yes, she is.~_

_~… but she is not like me…~_

_~I really don’t think Rao could make you two identical, little star.~_

The girl squirms and wiggles. You look down to see her looking at you intently. _~I hurt her.~_

_~Yes, you did.~_

_~I failed her.~_

_~No, you didn’t.~_

_~I hurt her.~_

_~But that doesn’t mean you failed her. Rao, no. Kortni, you have never failed.~_ You can see the doubt in her eyes. Rao, don’t you know exactly what she is feeling. Don’t you know how is to look around you and feel like the world is consuming you, like anything you do is useless, like nothing you do is enough.

Don’t you know how debilitating is that. Don’t you know how deep that cut.

You spent years trying to be the best, trying to make your parents proud. You had little acts of rebellion, yes, like liking girls when they wanted you to marry a successful man. Like surfing when you were supposed to be studying. Like letting your classmate get better grades than you, to avoid the teasing, to avoid skipping more grades.

But, even so, even when you defied them, even when you knew they would be angry and mad and disappointed… you still craved their acceptance and love. At least, until you understood no matter what you did, no matter what you didn’t do… it would never be enough.

So, you took your life into your own hands and weathered as best as you could their cold disappointment, your mother’s sharp slaps and your father’s hot anger.

You choose to lean towards biology rather than physics like they wanted you to. You chose to study the microcosms instead of the macrocosms like they drilled into your head all your life. You chose ditching school for years to take care of a little girl instead of rushing through degrees and specialties like you were supposed to.

(You couldn't abandon Kara, you simply couldn't. At some level, you can get why mothers choose not to care for their kids, how sometimes life gets in the way. But, Kara. You couldn't do it. You simply couldn't.)

You knew you made that choice, you made the choice to anger them, to disappoint them. And Rao, the consequences still hurt. It still felt like you failed them. Like you didn’t measure up.

Like you were insignificant and useless. Not worth loving.

You were alone, alone to scrape by, alone to take care of Kara, alone to make your life your own.

Until Maggie. Until she came knocking down your door and helped you heal. It took you so damn long and you don’t want Kortni to feel a fraction of that hopeless resentment you lived with most of your life.

So, you squeeze her as hard as you can and leave a kiss on her forehead and tell her what you would have liked to hear at her age.

_~It’s okay to go against what you were taught, Kortni. It’s okay to feel weak. It’s okay to feel powerless, to feel like the world is consuming you, love. I know you feel everything is closing up, every move you make will hurt someone, will make you feel worse. I know that Kortni, but I also know that from here, it only can get better.~_ You brush out the hair from her eyes, prompting her to stare at you. ~ _You can change, sweetie, you can be whoever you want to be and you don’t own anyone anything._

_~Your life is your own and as long as you don’t willingly seek to hurt others, then you can be and do whatever you want, for as long as you want. It’s okay to change your mind, it’s okay to want to go back, it’s okay to cry, to laugh, to yell. Love, it’s okay to feel. What is not okay is to lash out because you felt overwhelmed… when that happens, come talk to me. To Maggie. To Kara. Even Renee and Kate can help if you let us. We can help bear the emotions, love. Let us help.~_

And Kori nods.

She nods and hides deeper on your neck.

She nods and cries a little more.

She nods and hugs you back.

She nods and you feel the tension in her lithe frame slither away.

She nods and you feel your lungs are able to breathe again.

XxXxX

_~I’m mad at you.~_ Kara glares down at her sister. Maggie has her on her hip and Kara is using her height advantage to drill her point home. _~You said very mean things.~_

Kortni nods, sharply. You squeeze her shoulder and press her closer to your side in silent support. _~I know and I’m sorry. Everything I said is a lie. You’re not weak or useless. I’m sorry.~_

Kara’s eyes narrow, making you think that if Maggie wasn’t holding her she’d already kicked Kortni’ shin. For someone who can’t read social cues, Kara surely can hold a grudge. _~Then why did you say that?~_

Kortni tenses under your hand. But, nonetheless, she keeps looking up at Kara. _~I was angry and I didn’t know how to feel better so I made you feel bad instead. You are not weak nor useless.~_

Kara’s nose twitches. _~I know. I’m not useless and I’m not weak.~_

_~No. No. You are not.~_

Kara keeps glaring down and Kortni shifts ever so lightly. Neither of the girls looks away from each others’ eyes, though, leaving you and Maggie to exchange your own silent communication.

You quirk your eyebrow. _Is Kara going to forgive her?_

Maggie’s lip twitches. _She is pissed._

Your brow creases. _Still? It’s been at least four hours._

Maggie’s face falls a little. _She’s jealous you were with Kortni._

Both your eyebrows rise. _Is_ _Kara jealous of Kortni? Really?_

Maggie shrugs her unoccupied shoulder. _She gave that impression, yes._

You sigh as quietly as you can. _I didn’t sign up for this._

Maggie snorts just as quietly. _You did the moment you took Kortni in._

You feel your face relax in a deadpan expression. _Me? It was a joint effort._

Maggie smirks. _It’s not my fault you’re the most maternal one._

You shake your head minutely, confused. _What does that even mean?_

Whatever Maggie was going to convey to you, is interrupted by Kara’s solemn voice. _~I’m still mad at you. But,~_ she looks at you, briefly. _~I’m sorry I hurt you too. I didn’t mean it when I told you I wanted you out of our lives.~_

That little tidbit catches you by surprise and seeing Maggie’s face, you are not the only one.

You were deep into building a small device to help Kortni with her hearing issues and with puzzling over the dampeners (you still have no idea how Kortni was able to knock the lights out of a fully charged Kal with a single punch _while_ wearing her dampener) that you missed most of the yelling match between those two, even when they were a room away from you. Maggie wasn’t even home at the time, running errands for both you and Kate and so both of you are hearing about this just now. You reached the argument in time to hear Kara yelling her hate for Kortni and Kortni yelling in kind that her baby sister was useless and pathetic.

Figures Kara hurt her sister with the really big guns.

_~It’s okay,~_ Kortni says in a really small voice that’s so foreign to her big personality. _~I deserved it.~_

Kara shakes her head. _~No. I’m happy you are here. I lied too.~_

Kortni shrugs. _~I forgive you.~_

Kara wiggles to be put down and Maggie looks at you, checking silently if Kara is to be trusted with not hitting her sister. You don’t think it would be a problem right now, so you nod to your wife.

If Kara does try to get physical, you are ready to intervene.

Kara does get physical, launching herself to her sister and hugging her. _~I forgive you too… but I’m still angry.~_

Kortni hugs Kara back and she lifts her from the ground with little effort. _~Understood.~_

You smile at them, the weight of their fight finally leaving your shoulders.

You grew up as an only child and you never hung out with children your age. Your only cousin lives in New Zealand and the neighborhood where you grew up in wasn’t a child-friendly one. Kara might have been your sister for a while, but the age difference made it impossible for you two to engage in this kind of dispute.

This is as foreign to you as rocket science is to an ant.

Maggie has experience dealing as an intermediary between her foster siblings, so at least she knows a little bit more of this than you do. You really don’t know what you would do without her.

The upcoming trip next week will show you exactly how Maggie deals with a big family and you are excited and worried. You just hope this won’t take a toll on your wife. Even the strongest of rocks can be chipped sometimes.

_~Okay, girls,~_ Maggie tells them, clapping her hands to gather their attention to her. _~It’s still early. Who wants to go to the park and have hot dogs and ice-cream for lunch?~_

You want to facepalm so hard. Really, Maggie? That’s how you end a day like this?

Kara beams up at her Mommy and maybe, just maybe, Maggie knows what she is doing. _~We do! We do!~_ Kara’s face falls a little bit after those words leave her mouth. _~But I want to show Kortni something first. Can I show her?~_

Whatever that is, Maggie should know because she smiles softly down at them both, reaching to ruffle Kara’s hair. _~Sure thing, sunshine. Your Mama and I will wait for you two here.~_

Kara has Kortni by the hand and into your office before you can blink. _~Walk, Kara! Walk!~_ you yell after them before turning to your wife. “What the hell was that?” you ask your wife, crossing your arms.

Maggie smirks and nods towards the couch. “Come on. They’re going to take a while.”

You sit beside Maggie and waste no time in collapsing your head on her lap the moment she looks comfortable. Grabbing one of her hands, you prompt her to start giving you a head scratch. “So?”

Maggie chuckles but starts massaging you on her own volition. “Kara found the box Vasquez brought from Midvale. She was going through it when I came back to her.”

You nod, closing your eyes and enjoying the pampering. “I didn’t really see what was in it, other than Mom’s journals and some old blankets.”

“Well, apparently Vas brought back some of Kara’s earlier drawings and she found them. She said she needed to show them to Kori.”

You frown at that. Kara started drawing when she was old enough to hold a crayon on her own. She has always shown talent with it and once she started drawing, she never stopped… until your parents’ deaths, that is. There were so many drawings that you really didn’t keep them all, just one or two a week and you remember you put them all in a binder to try to track her artistic progress. Once she started painting, though, you stopped.

What you can’t really remember is what she used to draw back then. You remember lots of reds and blacks and whites. You remember panicking about that a little bit, your psychology classes ruling their ugly head and telling you that Kara was having some serious trouble. That was way before her angry phase, so after some thought, you simply shrugged it off and let your kid be.

You think you remember Kara always drawing you and your parents and herself often, all with long hair, but that also stopped shortly after she started including other colors and she focused on drawing dolphins and flowers… she was probably already three by then.

“Why are they important to Kori, though?” you ask the air, not really expecting an answer.

“Apparently, Kara swears she used to draw Krypton and her Kryptonian family.”

That makes you open your eyes. “Wait, what?”

Maggie smiles down at you. “We know Kortni showed her some of Krypton and her blood family, right?”

“Yeah, both girls said so.”

“Well, when Kara gave me the drawings, she told me that was exactly what Kortni showed her. She told me she didn’t remember drawing that, but that she knows the drawings are hers. That those were her parents and her birthplace.”

You mull over that. So, Kara not only recognized Kortni in the mirror when she was little, she remembered enough to draw her family and her city. She remembered just enough to draw family portraits and you never thought anything of that.

“I didn’t know. I thought she was drawing us, my parents, herself and I.”

Maggie snorts. “Really? I mean, Kara was a baby and I understand she was scribbling more than anything… but she is an amazing painter. You really didn’t think her drawings were off?”

You shrug. “I was sixteen. I’ve never been into art. She was good, yes, but she stopped drawing those portraits way before she got good-good.”

Maggie snorts again. “Those drawings look nothing like your family.”

You shrug again, closing your eyes and enjoying your massage. “I’m not going to lie. They were off, but she was barely three.”

“So, you never knew that Astra’s twin sister is Kara’s mom?”

Your eyes pop open again. “What?”

“Or that her Father is, in reality, Lara Lor-Van?”

The self-satisfied smirk on her face bothers you much more than you want to admit. “You’re shitting me.”

“Mama! Jar!” Kara comes running and flops across your stomach.

“Ooof, baby. Be gentle. What’s with you and always trying to make me pee myself?”

“Mama, jar,” she says solemnly.

“Yes, baby. Jar.” You look behind Kara to see Kortni walking slowly towards you. _~Had a nice talk?~_

Kortni nods. _~She remembered us.~_ The awe in her voice matches her bright eyes. _~She remembered all of us!~_

Kara wiggles so she is now sitting on your stomach, pressing painfully on your bladder. _~I’m sorry I didn’t remember sooner.~_

_~Mother and Father would be pleased that you remembered at all.~_

Maggie’s hand in your head finally stills as she focuses on the older of the two. _~Kortni, can you please tell us something?~_

Kortni cocks her head to the side like a lost puppy. _~Sure?~_

_~What were your parents’ names?~_

Kortni freezes and you smack Maggie in the chest with the back of your hand. You wonder how you married someone so blunt and rude. _~You don’t have to ans-~_

_~Alura In-Ze and Lara Lor-Van.~_ she answers, so confused. _~Why are y- oh. You think Zor-El is my father too.~_

_~Isn’t he?~_ You ask her, just as confused as she was not a moment before.

The offense is clear on her face. _~No. Zor-El is not and will never be my father.~_ She glares to the side, flushed with anger. _~Stupid Kal-El… telling everyone that lie…~_ she grumbles something under her breath, but it’s too low for you to hear it. It doesn’t help that her eyes start glowing a little again.

_~Wait, wait. Calm down,~_ you call to her, sitting up, moving Kara to your lap with ease. _~Explain.~_

Kortni blinks once, twice, and the glow is gone. She looks at the three of you for a second, before sprinting away.

She is back before you can think on scolding her too for rushing around inside the house. Kara and she keep showing you exactly how related they are. Kortni has even gotten into the habit of floating lazily like Kara in the mornings and late at night to avoid walking.

She is holding the small cube on her hand and she comes squeeze in the space between you and Maggie. _~I think it’s better if I show you.~_ She turns to Kara, still sitting on your lap. _~May I?~_

You keep quiet as Kortni offers her palm to Kara and you _struggle_ to keep quiet as Kara, without hesitation, undoes her chain and puts her gemstone on her sister’s hand. You have never seen Kara taking her necklace off voluntarily, your baby always has a meltdown when she had to be apart from it for whatever reason.

(Maybe now that she’s willing to take it off you will be able to change the chain. She has been wearing this one for the last six years and it’s getting too short.)

Maggie and you exchange a silent glance, but you two let Kortni fiddle with both the gemstone and cube in her hands.

_~Alex, Maggie,~_ she says softly. _~Meet our parents.~_

With a swift click, the small cube flicks to life and an image is portrayed before your eyes.

Astra and a blonde woman look down at you. You can only see their torsos, but… if Maggie said Astra is their mother’s twin…

_~Kortni,~_ the blonde woman starts. Her eyes are bluer than Kortni’s, their color reminds you of your baby’s eyes, their shape is the same as Kori’s. Her nose is Kara’s, as are her cheekbones. _~My darling daughter. It is my wish that when you see this, I’m beside you and that we are far away from harm… However, I know that if you are seeing this our plans failed and now we are reunited with Rao, and Kara and you, at least, are safe now… That’s the only consolation I have as we record this message.~_

The Astra look-a-like, _Alura_ , has your baby’s chin and her eyes are just like Kortni’s…

Rao.

You are looking at your girls’ birth parents.

To their Mother and Father.

Two Kryptonians.

Two women.

Well, at least now you know why Kortni didn’t discriminate against Maggie and you.

This is her normal.

Two women, married, and in love.

This just opens so many more questions…

As you keep watching the heartbreaking message, you can’t help, but marvel at the women that made it possible for you to meet your baby. To meet Kortni.

And you promise to Rao, you swear to him, to honor their memories every day from now on.

They, after all, gave you the best gifts in the whole universe.

Your girls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Greetings from the Twilight Zone!_
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> _Hey, lovely readers, so many things happened in this chapter, one, I love Kori (And yes, I tried to steal her and little Kara too, but Char, Alex, and Maggie threaten me with pointy stuff and the kind of stuff that hurts, so, no Kori and little Kara for me) I love Kate's and Alex's relationship, Kori and little Kara broke my heart, and wasn't that last part just a beauty, the sisters forgiving each other (even though little Kara is still mad at her sister XD)_
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> _I would like to point out that at first, I was against this chapter in general because I didn't want to see Kori or little Kara suffering, but then Char showed me the draft and I understood that this chapter was really necessary for the dynamic of the story and the dynamic of their relationship, so yeah, if you want to kick someone's butt kick Char's._ **(A/N: No. don't kick Char's butt... she needs it for sitting and thus, for writing.)**
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> _And I have great news, chapters 30 and 31 are ready!!!_
> 
>  
> 
> _But I will hold them until the usual ransom is paid in full._
> 
>  
> 
> _*Laughing evilly.*_
> 
>  
> 
> _Forgive me for any grammatical mistakes and any spelling errors._
> 
>  
> 
> _And lastly dear foreverlater you made blush, thank you for your kind words and I agree with you, I happen to love 9k+ chapters too._
> 
>  
> 
> ... she loves me, doesn't she?
> 
> Either way, the news I was gonna share:
> 
> Good news: HERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER FINALLY!!!!
> 
> @reinakonanofate was her amazing self and did a really good job with it. She and I had a heart to heart about this little one and she was against it at first...
> 
> But, I prevailed, muahahahahahaha!
> 
> Bad news: I started school last week and I feel stupid and dumb and my brain is half dead most of the time. Writing speed has gone down between readings and reports and taking care of my sick (my mom's been getting sick often lately) buuuuut, this is my escape so I'll keep it up!!
> 
> More good news: @queercapwriting is hosting #DanversSistersWeek and we've being working to fulfill all prompts for each day. Again, with school and Kismet I don't know if we'll participate in everyday, but at least the first 5 are already done and edited!
> 
> Another bad new: I might have gone overboard with Kismet and bit more that I can chew... this story is getting immense and I hope you all want to stick around for it... it looks like I have writing material for _years_. But, seriously, guys, if you think this one is getting too long and too tedious, let us know. We can totally shorten it and compact it, skipping years and time.
> 
> You can also prompt us if there's something you want to see or if there's some scenario you want our ladies to be.
> 
> Just know that this story is planned to end when Kara reaches like 18... and those 112 chapters that are read in the story's description? A lie, a total lie... 112 falls short of what it's getting planned on this one...


	30. Nebraska

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Kara, no!”
> 
> You sigh. Of course. Of course, the first phrase Kortni mastered in English is that one.
> 
> “Mama! Kortni is pushing!”
> 
> And of course, those two would fight in such a crowded, small place.
> 
> Maggie snickers beside you and you hit her arm in retaliation. “Easy, love,” she scolds you with a snort. “We don’t want people thinking you are giving the girls a bad example.”
> 
> Almost as if Kara and Maggie planned the whole thing, Kara smacks Kortni’s stomach.
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where they go visit Maggie's family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, people!!!
> 
> I'm sorry you had to see the girls fight last chapter, but, as you'll see, they're gonna be better for going through that!!!
> 
> Beta love to @reinakonanofate (who now has an account on AO3!!!!) for making this readable.
> 
> This chapter prompted so much research that my Google ads thinks I'm moving to Nebraska and I keep seeing house offers... Also, everytime I wanna look up something starting with "Bl" Blue Springs automatically appears... and I think someone wants to contact me from UNL... not sure how that happened.
> 
> Things I learnt writing this chapter (and arc):  
> 1\. Nebraska is huge.  
> 2\. Blue Springs is tiny.  
> 3\. Cows are milked twice a day.  
> 4\. The day at a milk farm starts hella early.  
> 5\. It's a two-hour's drive from Omaha to Blue Springs and Lincoln is halfway there.  
> 6\. There's a tiny airport in Beatrice :D  
> 7\. There's one (1) motel in Blue Springs.  
> 8\. How to safely put a baby on your back.  
> 9\. How to safely strap a baby to your body.  
> 10\. There are several different types of bay-wraps out there and the safests one are not necessarily the stretchy ones.
> 
> Now that I shared a little of my new-found wisdom with you, please proceed to read the latest chapter :D

“Kara, no!”

You sigh. Of course. Of course, the first phrase Kortni mastered in English is that one.

“Mama! Kortni is pushing!”

And of course, those two would fight in such a crowded, small place.

Maggie snickers beside you and you hit her arm in retaliation. “Easy, love,” she scolds you with a snort. “We don’t want people thinking you are giving the girls a bad example.”

Almost as if Kara and Maggie planned the whole thing, Kara smacks Kortni’s stomach.

“Hey!”

“Stop pushing!”

“See what I mean?” Maggie tells you oh so smugly.

“Remind me again why I married you?” you grumble under your breath as you finally stand up from your seat and give the two steps needed to reach the girls’ row. _~Enough. Kara, go sit with Mom.~_

Kortni sticks her tongue out to Kara as your youngest pouts. “Mama!”

“Nuh-uh. Do as I told you, Kara. Now.”

Kara gives a long-suffering sigh but does as told, gathering Krypto and her blanket. Usually, you wouldn’t mind having them roughhousing around, if anything, you would welcome it. Ever since their not so little fight, they have gotten more at ease around each other, and any past tension between them has become non-existent. They laugh more, they chase each other around more and Kara hasn’t been second guessing reality as much.

In fact, your baby has been ‘doubt-free’ for three straight days now.

But, you are on a plane en route to Omaha right now and you don’t think this is the place for them to mock-fight.

 _~And you, stop messing with your sister.~_ You sit on Kara’s vacated seat and glare lightly at Kortni. _~This is not the time or place.~_

Kortni at least looks remorseful. “Sorry.”

You sigh, not annoyed at all, simply overly tired. The flight is less than halfway done and you feel like you have been inside this tuna can for days. The wait at the airport was heavy, with Kara running around and Kortni wanting to see everything and wanting to try all the snacks in the stores. Maggie didn’t help matters, shrugging and letting the kids roam free, handing each a twenty and putting her best innocent face.

As if the snacks you brought along weren’t enough for your kids.

At least convincing Kortni to accompany you wasn’t hard at all, even when she had the choice of staying behind with Kate and Renee as they apartment hunt. The fight between the girls had released something between the kids and now they are joined at the hip most of the time, so of course, Kortni didn’t hesitate to join you in your trip.

The change has been amazing, really. Kara has even started sleeping in Kortni’s bedroom most nights, leaving your bed for you and your wife.

(You won’t deny that you missed the privacy with Maggie, but the first time Kara declared she and Kortni were going to sleep on their own you had a mini panic attack. It took Kortni promising you to get you in under a second if anything happened with Kara for you to relax marginally.

Not that you slept much that night, but still. Between Maggie’s roaming hands trying to distract you and your anxiety, not the best rest you had.)

“Come here, you.” You open an arm to Kortni and you smile when the teen cuddles to your side.

Her grasp on English is better, and better each passing day and you have been trying to speak to her in Kryptonian less and less. She says your Kryptonian, Maggie’s, and Kara’s, is almost flawless now and save some words that still get mixed up, you could say the same for Kortni’s English.

Kate swears you all now carry a weird accent when speaking English, though, and that’s why the looks from the old lady across the aisle don’t bother you as much. Yeah, you have acquired a foreign accent and that lady is giving you the stink eye. Really? Is racism still a thing?

Or it’s a homophobic thing? It’s not hard to figure out; you four are a family, especially after Kara called you Mama and you referred to Maggie as Mom. Looking at the white, grey-haired woman, you think that, yes, it’s probably a homophobic thing.

 _~Want to tell me why you were pushing your sister?~ Y_ ou ask your oldest kid, ignoring the lady completely.

Kortni pouts up at you. _~She ate all the_ “Cheez-It.”

Of course. You sigh, wishing for a moment that you had accepted Kate’s offer for one of her private planes. Visiting Maggie’s family simply didn’t seem the occasion to let Kate pamper you like that. “Really? Were you fighting over a bag of crackers?”

Kortni’s sudden serious eyes glare back at you, the miscreant glint behind them not easily concealed. “Those are the best crackers.”

You snort at that. “Of course they are.” You look down to Kortni with a soft smile. _~How do you feel? The noise is it too loud?~_

Kortni closes her eyes, snuggling deeper into you. _~The ear things you gave me are amazing. I can hear you fine, but everything else is muted. Thank you.~_

You play with the short hairs on her neck. _~Don’t thank me. I’m just glad they worked.~_

The small ‘hearing aids’ you devised are barely noticeable in her ears. They resemble any in-canal hearing aid out there, but they are made out of a lead and titanium alloy that buffer the girl’s hearing almost to a human level.

You don’t think you would be able to damper her hearing completely, but as long as she can be inside a plane without pain, you consider it a win.

~ _And the movement isn’t too much?~_ What gets to Kara the most is not the engine noise, but all the bumping and sudden turbulence that somehow always happens when Kara flies.

“I’m fine.” Kortni’s hand clutches at the hem of your t-shirt. _~Travelling on Legacy was faster and smoother, but this is not so bad. Reminds me of Uncle Jor’s sliders.~_

_~Legacy?~_

Kortni hums. ~ _Aunt Astra’s ship. She was the smoother ride I will ever have, but this “_ plane” _is not so bad.~_ Her tone is soft and her words slurred.

You hum back. You think travelling on an alien spaceship built with technology eons ahead of your time certainly beat traveling in a small plane every day. Traveling through space also beats travelling within the States.

“Mama?” You look to the left to see Kara standing on the aisle, Krypto clutched to her chest and her thumb caressing her lower lip.

It looks like all the sugar they indulged in before boarding is finally running out.

“Yes, baby?”

“Can I cuddle with you too?”

“Of course, baby.” You open your unoccupied arm for her and Kara climbs on your lap without hesitation. She wiggles around, throwing her legs over Kortni’s and nuzzling your neck while clutching your gemstone. _~I hope we don’t make Mom feel too alone.~_ You muse before kissing Kara on the top of her head.

Kara’s soft sounds of sucking are stopped for a moment as she comments, “’ommy’s ‘sleeping.”

You sigh. Of course, Maggie is already asleep. Useless lesbian.

_~Okay. Rest, girls. We have a long day waiting for us.~_

You receive no answer, both girls already out and snoring softly.

You look from the corner of your eye at the old lady glaring at you. Out of spite, you kiss Kara’s hair and then Kortni’s, all the while keeping eye contact with the lady. You smirk when she flushes and avert her eyes.

Good.

You close your eyes and let your head rest on top of Kortni’s. You have little over an hour for a power nap.

You have a really long day ahead of you and you plan on being rested for that.

XxXxX

Gathering the suitcases and rounding up the children is no hard work (thank Rao). The kids are still sleepy enough after their sugar-high crash that they do nothing more than follow instructions and be a little too cuddly. Kara refuses to leave your arms and Kortni has somehow managed to keep a hand on the back of your shirt without tripping you the whole time.

Maggie’s then left to roll the two suitcases you brought while you deal with the girls and their backpacks. Not a bad trade, if you say so.

“Do you want to find somewhere to sit while I rent the car?”

You look around. The airport is small enough that the rentals are practically in front the carousel. The line there is not long and you’re long used to carry Kara for hours. Kortni’s solid form is at your back but her slight weight there doesn’t bother you at all. “I’m fine, love. Leave the bags and go get the car.”

“’ama?” Kara slurs around her thumb once Maggie’s gone.

“Yes, love?” You take Kara’s hand in yours and kiss her palm. She has been sucking her thumb less and less and you are so grateful about that.

“Are we meeting all of Mommy’s family today?” Kara murmurs, nuzzling your jaw. Kortni comes around you, still grabbing at your shirt and leaning on your side rather than your back. At least she looks a little more awake now.

“No, baby. We are meeting Maria, Josh, Jessica, and Sarah. We will probably meet Mary tonight, but we will definitely see her tomorrow.” Kara scrunches her nose at that information. “What’s the matter, love?”

“I don’t like Mary.”

“Kara… you haven’t even met her.” Kortni’s eyes are fixed on you two and her burrowed brow lets you think she is maybe missing something in your exchange. _~Why don’t you like Maggie’s sister?~_

Kara shrugs. _~Auntie Kate says she is the devil incarnated. That she is the worst person on Earth.~_

 _~Kara…~_ you sigh. It’s not like you can tell them both the complex reasons why there’s such friction between them. _~Mary is… well, Mary. She is not evil… she is just… difficult. Mary and Maggie, well, they don’t have a close bond, that’s all. They don’t get each other and I guess that makes things difficult between them.~_

 _~Why?~_ Kortni is the one asking you now. _~Siblings are supposed to like each other. Mother and Aunt Astra loved each other. Uncle Jor and Zor-El liked each other too.~_

You shrug. _~I’m sorry, girls. I really can’t tell you why they don’t like each other. I don’t have siblings or cousins… but I know that sometimes people are complicated and that also complicates relationships.~_

Kara sits abruptly and years of practice is the only thing preventing you from dropping her. _~Mommy said once sometimes people forget there are other people to care for… that someone forgot they love her… is that her sister?~_

You don’t know how to dodge that loaded question. The late nights in which Maggie and you shared your deepest and more obscure secrets, your fears, your dreams, your frustrations had long passed. You know others will come, but having all the answers your baby is demanding and not being able to share out of respect and love, leaves you in a really tricky situation.

Fortunately, that’s the exact moment Maggie chooses to appear, a set of keys dangling from her fingers. “Are my girls ready to be stuck in a car for two more hours?”

Kara moans and Kortni groans. “Two hours?” they ask at the same time, the same disbelieving tone in their voices.

Maggie smirks. “Well, we can’t fly there, can we?”

 _~Sure we can,~_ Kortni counters. _~I can carry you both and Kara can carry the bags.~_

Kara nods excitedly. _~Yes, I can carry the bags.~_ She wiggles and you know what she wants… still, you don’t comply. _~Mama!~_

“Nope. I’m not letting you down so you run away with the bags.”

“Mama!”

You grab the back of Kortni’s tank-top just before the girl takes a step. “Don’t you dare.”

“Alex…” Kortni deflates, looking up at you with puppy-dog eyes. You have never been more grateful of having Kara since she was a baby… your hard-earned immunity is the only reason you don’t cave.

“Nuh-uh. Nope. We are all driving there and that’s final.”

Maggie chuckles, taking Kortni’s hand, allowing you to get a firmer grip on Kara as you start moving towards the rental. “Cheer up! The faster we leave the faster we arrive… and I want to stop at Lincoln for lunch.”

Kara sighs and Kortni’s nose twitches. “What is in… Li-con?”

“liNG-kən,” you repeat, with ease.

“liNG-kən. Lincoln.”

You beam at Kortni, easily grabbing the suitcase she has been rolling. “Good!”

Kortni doesn’t let go of the suitcase, leaving you three walking linked. “What is in Lincoln?” she repeats her question once you reach the car parked on the curb half a minute after. Rao, this airport is tiny.

Maggie pops open the trunk and get the suitcases in before answering with a blinding smile. If you didn’t know better, you would really think she is not nervous and worried with the upcoming two-week long holiday. “The first Noonan’s I ever knew.”

You laugh as both girls brighten at that. Kortni’s in the backseat before you can say anything and Kara wiggles again in excitement. You let her down and she joins her sister in a heartbeat. When you took Kortni to Noonan’s the first time, you didn’t know she would get addicted to their vegan’s menu. Both your kids love Noonan’s and both know that a far-from-home Noona’s means they can eat all they want without hesitation.

You turn to the triumphant Maggie and your laughter dies when you notice her saddened smile. “Are you okay?” you ask her in a murmur, shuffling close to her.

Maggie silently leans on you, resting her forehead on your shoulder. She is tense and she is slightly trembling. You curse yourself. You didn’t think to argue about coming. Sure, Maggie said she would be fine, that she would pull through, and you believe her, you really do… but… now that you are almost there, all the enthusiasm and happiness about your meeting with her family is being replaced with dread.

“Hey.” You lift her chin with your finger and the vacant look in her eyes startles you. You give her peck and a tentative smile. “We can always go home, you know? Or we can stay here, see the sights. We don’t have to go.”

Maggie’s eyes clear at that. She pecks you back and echoes your smile. “I want you all to meet my family. I’m looking forward to it.”

“We can try later, though. Next year, maybe.” You won’t voice what you are actually implying, but you know Maggie gets it when her eyes moisten for a second.

“No.” She clears her throat when her voice cracks. “No. I can do this. I can.”

You look deep into her eyes, cradling her cheek in your hand. You already know she can, she’s amazing and so, so strong. But. “That doesn’t mean you _have_ to.”

“I want to. I want my mom to meet you.”

“Okay.” You kiss her again, softly. “Just promise me that if it gets too much we will bail.”

“Promise.”

“Mama! Mommy! We are hungry.”

And just like that, the heavy cloud over Maggie dissipates and she is beaming at you. “C’mon. The kids are hungry.”

You snort. “They are always hungry.” You still have your hand on her cheek and you caress her lip with your thumb. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She kisses your thumb once before going around the car to the driver’s seat.

You can see from the corner of your eye the old lady glaring at you again, ready to climb on a taxi. You wave at her, smiling. She scoffs and turns her back on you and you feel a little gratified over that.

Maybe pissing some of Maggie’s family members like you did this lady will be enough to make this trip worth it.

“Mama!”

“Coming! Coming!”

XxXxX

_~Okay, girls, rules.~_

The two-long hour drive and gigantic late lunch at Noonan’s made it so you are arriving at Maggie’s childhood home just as the sun starts to set. For what Maggie has told you, that means you have already missed dinner and you know Maggie planned it all so she doesn’t need to sit with all the inhabitants of the house for an awkward first meal.

That can come in the morning.

 _~I have your dampeners with me.~_ You hold the two lead cases in one hand, turning in your seat to look at the girls. Both are alert but pleasantly calm. _~Can someone tell me the rules for these?~_

 _~We have to let you know when we are using them,~_ Kortni starts. _~We can’t wear them all day.~_

 _~We have to lie in the sun for an hour if we use them for more than five hours straight,~_ Kara continues listing off her fingers. _~We can’t fly, float, run at top speed. Kori can’t use her heat vision.~_

 _~And?~_ you prompt them when neither add anything. They look at you, confused and Maggie sighs.

_~And you come to us the moment something feels off. If you hurt, or if you get too tired, or if something is simply **wrong** , you come tell us immediately. Understood?~_

_~Yes, Maggie.~_

_~Yes, Mommy.~_

You look at them, making sure their eyes are honest. _~Good. Next, house rules.~_

Maggie shifts in her seat, so she can look at the girls too. _~My mother is the only one that knows you two are Kryptonian and I don’t think it would be wise for anyone else to know. So. Girls, you need to act human around the family.~_

 _~Why? They are your family.~_ Kortni’s observation doesn’t surprise you. From everything you have seen so far, family is the most important thing to Kryptonians, making Kal’s actions all the more deplorable. But, for Kortni Zor-El, who was brought up within one of the most orthodox families on Krypton, the concept of keeping secrets with family members is not understandable.

Maggie sighs and you decide this one she has to answer on her own. _~Kori, do you know the easier way for people not sharing a secret?~_

Your oldest kid frowns her eyebrows, deep in thought. You can see her murmuring softly to herself, no doubt working on Maggie’s question. A minute later, though, she answers, _~no?~_

 _~Don’t share the secret. At all.~_ Kortni’s flat glare indicate both of you that Maggie didn’t answer her question. ~ _Look. I get family is important. I get it. I love my family. But, my real family, the one that really matters, don’t live in that house. My family is sitting in this car. So, in order to protect my family, we can’t let my blood relatives know about you.~_

 _~Kori,~_ you interrupt the girl before she can comment. You can see Maggie is struggling with conveying why you need to keep the secret, but maybe being this close to her demons is messing with how she expresses herself. _~Correct me if I’m wrong, but in Krypton, you married into a House and that House became your sole family… right? According to House ranks, you would be married to another House or your partner would have married into the House of El, right?~_

Kortni nods, sharply and Kara looks at her sister with a scrunched nose… you don’t have to ask to know she is a little grossed out with this topic. _~Ren-Wel was to marry me and be taken into the House of El.~_

That, that’s something you didn’t know. You share a quick silent look with Maggie and it’s decided that topic will be revised later. _~And that meant Ren-Wel would swear loyalty to the House of El, right? Loyalty to the House of El above the House of Wel?~_

_~Yes. That is why he was chosen for me… he was the second son. He swore loyalty to our House on his tenth Name Day.~_

_~Right.~_ You won’t comment on that. It’s her culture, even if it feels wrong to you that she was promised to someone before her presenting. Maybe you will talk to her about that later. _~So. Ren-Wel’s family would be that in your House, right? Not the family he left at the House of Wel.~_

_~They are still his family… but his prayers lies with the House of El.~_

_~Okay. So, here, in our case, our House was Kara and I. Then, Maggie swore her fealty to us, then Renee and Kate did too. And now you have done it too. That’s it, that’s our House. No one else. Our House needs protection, love, and, yeah, Maggie’s former House is her family still, but her House, her current House, **us** , comes first. So. They are family. But they can’t know the secret.~_

_~My mother knows, out of necessity, but I don’t want to risk anyone else knowing.~_

Kortni’s eyebrows are still furrowed. _~Is your mother trustworthy?~_

Maggie’s smile is strained. _~She is the best at keeping secrets.~_

Kortni nods at that and this is when Kara decides to chime in. “Do I have to call Maria grandmother?”

Maggie’s smile turns a little brighter. “You can call her anything you want as long as you’re respectful. And that goes with all the people in that house.”

 _~So, next rule. Don’t be rude.~_ You keep eye contact with them, first one, then the other. _~Whatever happens, whatever you hear, or see… don’t be rude. Come to us. Tell us what happened and we will deal with it.~_

_~I’m well capable of dealing with anything that comes our way.~_

Kortni’s offended pout and grumble are endearing. Maggie snorts and answers either way. _~I know. And that lifts a huge weight off my chest, knowing you can take care of Kara and yourself. But, please, not here. If something happens, come to us. Don’t engage.~_

Kara takes Kortni’s hand. “We need to keep the House safe, Kori.”

The older girl nods. _~I won’t cause trouble. I won’t be a burden.~_

Your eyes are firm on her and you are glad she shifts under your hard stare. _~You don’t cause trouble, Kortni Zor-El. And you are absolutely not a burden, do you hear me?~_ Kortni nods, weakly and your eyes soften. _~We trust you, girls. But we don’t want you to be in any unnecessary risk. We are here, let us take care of you for now. Okay? There will be other times when you, either of you, will need to take charge.~_

_~Yes, Alex.~_

“Yes, Mama.”

“Good.” You turn to Maggie, to see what else you’re missing.

“Speak English around the others. If you need to speak in Kryptonian, that’s fine, but only if it’s necessary. Not only we don’t want to ask questions, it’s rude talking in a language that they won’t understand.”

“But, if they ask questions… what’s our cover?”

“That Aunt Astra took me to Norway with her when I was little so I’m still learning English.”

“Exactly.” Maggie smiles at them. “So, let’s finish our rules so we can go meet Ma. I can see her spying on us from the window.”

And, yes. Maria’s silhouette, or what you think is Maria’s silhouette, is easily seen blocking the light from one of the upper windows. You snort. Impatient like always, Maria. “Next rule: have fun! This is a vacation and you’re probably going to meet people your age in the coming days, so, make friends. Talk to people.”

“We are on a farm and it’ll reach a point when we will be in a really full house, so help a little, please. Little things like helping set the table, helping feed the chickens, try to help. If Ma or anyone else asks you to do something you don’t want to, tell them why you don’t want to do that and come get me or Alex. We will talk with them. Understood?”

“Yes, Mommy.”

“Yes, Maggie.”

“I think that’s it?” Maggie asks you then and you make a quick mental list for anything that can be missing.

“Bedtimes?”

Maggie shakes her head. “Let them have fun.”

“Then, I think that’s it.” You turn again to them, to their still clasped hands. ~ _Do you want to use the dampeners now?~_

Both girls nod and you waste no time passing the boxes along. Each girl had taken the time to personalize their box so you no longer mix them up.

“Ready?” Maggie asks when the bracelets are in place.

“As we’ll ever be.”

XxXxX

You have seen pictures. You have spoken with her for hours over the phone. You have known how she would be like…

… And yet, you weren’t ready for the hurricane that is Maria Elena Sawyer.

Orders barked to the rest of the house.

A mild scolding for not arriving in time for dinner.

Kisses delivered to you and the girls in a rapid fashion.

Family hugs where you almost got squished to death.

Quick introductions all around and an awkward moment when you realize arriving late didn’t prevent Maria to have the household on standby to welcome you.

You find yourself, after helping put away the groceries you brought along for the girls, sitting at the round kitchen table with the girls while Maggie is sent to prepare her old bedroom for the four of you. Jessica, Sarah, and Josh are with you, sitting around, no one really knowing what to do or say.

Well. No one except Maria.

“Alex,” Maria starts, sipping her milk with coffee. “You have no idea how happy I am you are here! And you too, Kara, Kortni.”

You smile and at least this smile is not forced. You really like Maria. “I’m happy we finally met, Maria.”

“Don’t you dare Maria me, young lady!” she proclaims loudly. It’s a good thing Kortni is still wearing her hearing aids because you don’t get how Maggie is all softness and quiet support after being raised by this loud woman. “It’s Ma for you. And you two,” she says to your girls. “It’s Grammy.”

You scrunch up your nose at the same time Kortni does. Grammy sounds… weird. Kara, on the other hand, looks at you. “Mama?”

You smile to her, they are sitting on each side of you, a plate with three cookies in front of each of you accompanied with a small glass of warm milk because ‘before bed, snacks are mandatory in this house.’ You don’t have to ask your baby to elaborate on her question. “Only if you’re comfortable with it,” you gently remind her.

Kara looks then at Maria, her demeanor all serious and soft. “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel comfortable calling you that, ma’am.”

Maria’s eyes never lose her shine and she gives you a glimpse of how exactly was Maggie raised. “And that’s okay, Kara. But, when you start calling me something, call me Grammy. In the meantime, you can keep calling me Maria. You too, Kortni.”

“Thank you… Maria.”

“Aren’t the cookies to your liking?”

You notice that Jessica and Sarah’s cookies are long gone and their milk is already half drunk. Josh is playing with one of his cookies, spinning it, while he taps his empty glass to a tune you don’t know.

“No, no,” you say hastily. “We are not used to having cookies shortly before bed, that’s all.”

Seeing your kids looking at the cookies and not eating them is weird. But, well, what you said it’s true. You are used to having a late dinner and then, if you and the girls are up until late at night, they would snack on fruits or nuts. You would eat some yogurt if you are hungry enough, but really, up until now you never think you could have cookies before bed.

It seems… silly.

“Oh. You don’t have to eat them if you don’t want to…” The twinkle in her eyes is disturbing and a little worrying. “… but if you’re not eating becasue Mama said no, Grammy says yes and in this household Grammy trumps Mama.”

Kara and Kortni turn to look at you, a silent question from each directed in that look. You won’t deny Maria’s words makes you feel uncomfortable, but you are a guest in this house and she raised Maggie.

You shrug. “If you want them…” You’re not worried about the sugar or that eating anything more would make their stomachs hurt. One, the girls can digest them faster than Jessica or Sarah could and, two, it’s still early for them. Nebraska is two hours ahead and now it’s about time you would be starting on dinner if you haven’t had such a big lunch.

Both girls surprise you again when Kara takes the glass of milk, ignoring the cookies, and Kortni gently pushes her plate and glass away. “No thank you.”

Maria is equally shocked but is Sarah the one who breaks the silence again. “Can we have your cookies then?”

Sarah is already eighteen and it feels strange that she and Josh, who is twenty-four, perk at the thought of having more cookies.

Kortni looks at you, again, and your chest fills with pride at how she’s taking her cues from you without hesitation. “Can they have them?” you ask Maria. Her house, her rules, after all.

Maria nods and Kortni quickly pile all your cookies in one plate and pass them along to Jessica on her right.

“Thanks,” Sarah chirps, stealing the cookies from her sister.

Kortni smiles and takes the chance to pass along her glass to Kara, who drains it in a few gulps.

“Not fond of warm milk?” Josh asks Kortni. His voice is deep and something you expected when you consider his tall, almost seven feet frame.

“Allergic,” Kortni mumbles and shuffles at your side and you wonder what has got her so nervous suddenly. Josh is not the first human male she sees and he hasn’t done anything to appear threatening. Sure, the tattoos you can see peeking from under his rolled-up sleeves and neck lets you see that he is good managing pain, but you don’t think that’s what bothers her. Even if the ink is weird for her. He’s not taller than Kal and his body is languid, not buff, so you _know_ Kori could take him.

He chuckles. “That’s too bad. You’re on a milking farm. Milk is pretty much all we have to drink.”

“Yeah, well. We will stick to water. Won’t we Kori?” Maggie says as she comes in the kitchen. She smiles warmly at Josh. “Long time no see, buddy.”

Josh is up in a swift move, embracing Maggie and lifting her up a foot or so. “God, I’ve missed you, Aunt M.”

The way Maggie stiffens is barely noticeable but she returns the embrace with all her might.  “I’ve missed you too, bud.” Once she’s let down, she looks him up and down. “You are sporting new ink, I see.”

Josh blushes faintly. He rubs at his side and nods. “Yeah. Felt like it was time.”

Maggie raises an eyebrow at that, but doesn’t comment, instead, she turns to the other two girls. “Hello, I’m Maggie.”

Sarah smiles and waves. “I’m Sarah and this is my little sister, Jessica.” Jessica smiles and Maggie slide on the last available chair, between Maria and Kara.

“Ma says you want to be a vet?” she asks and you breathe easier, feeling the tension leave your shoulders.

Now that Maggie is here she will be able to avoid the awkwardness that always follows you in any social situation.

Sarah nods. “Yes. I start at UNL next semester.”

Maggie whistles. “That’s impressive!”

Sarah laughs. “Not as impressive as graduating top of your class at Gotham Police Academy. Even this little town get news like that.”

Maggie shrugs, resting an arm on the back of Kara’s chair. “Meh. I’m known to have my moments. But tell me. Why veterinary? Are you planning on opening a clinic? Or work for medical development?”

You don’t miss the subtle smile on Josh’s lips or the quick look Sarah sends him. “Vets around here aren’t the best. We need to call in from Lincoln every time a cow gets sick.”

Maggie’s eyebrows shot up as she turns to Maria. “Wow, Ma! You finally found someone who wants to stick around!”

Maria scoffs. “It’s not my fault none of you felt satisfied by the family business.”

“Ma… no one really likes cows… No offense, Sarah.”

Sarah chuckles. “None taken. Cows can be something else. Not many are tough enough to love them. Right, Josh?”

Josh’s arm comes to rest around her shoulders, cementing your suspicions. Those two are a couple. “Cows saved my life, but M is right. They are a handful.”

Maggie’s smug smirk earns her a swat from her mother. “And you, Jess? What are your plans?” she asks instead of keeping digging at the family business. “Can I call you Jess?” she adds as an afterthought.

The until then silent teen nods, not looking from her plate. “It’s okay. And I don’t really know. I like fixing the tractor… but I would also like learning how to fly a plane.” The last part is mumbled and the soft exasperated look Sarah gains let you know why she mumbled that tidbit.

“That’s pretty cool,” you comment. “Do you know if you would like to join the army for that? Or you would like to be a private pilot?”

That gets her to look up and you ignore how Sarah looks like she’s trying to protest. “I don’t know yet,” she admits softly.

“Jeremiah used to fly planes. Right, Mama?” Kara comments.

You smile. From the corner of your eye, you see Kara rubbing her eye. Warm milk always makes her sleepy. “That’s right. My dad knew how to fly.” You scrunch up your nose. “He flew cargo planes, though. He used to say he liked his passengers to be silent.” Well, you really couldn’t tell her your father used to fly planes for CADMUS, can you? Knowing what you know now, you doubt his passengers were actually silent, though.

Jessica chuckles at that, and her eyes light. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“Flying planes is not really a profession,” Sarah comments. “It would be better if she focused on engineering and math. She’s good at that.”

You shrug, hyper-aware of how Jessica’s shoulders slump and Maggie is ready to intervene. “Well, you can always apply for NASA after you get your degree. They are always hiring engineers and you would get to fly planes and space crafts. That’s better than just planes, don’t you think? _And_ you get that engineering degree if you decide planes aren’t it for you.”

The shine is back in her eyes and you feel like you did your good deed of the week.

“Well,” Maria says. “She just turned sixteen. She still has a couple of years to choose.”

You nod, but share a grin with the suddenly excited teen.

“And you, bud? How’s school?” Maggie asks before they can bring down Jessica’s spirits.

Josh shrugs. “If everything goes well, I’ll be able to take my last exam in November, but I don’t think college is right for me.” He looks over at Maria. “I think I’ll stay with Grammy. She’s getting old to keep in check the farmhands.”

Maria grunts, crossing her arms. “I’m not too old to put you across my knee, Joshua Thorn!”

Josh laughs at that and the happiness behind it warms your heart. It’s the same kind of laugh that Maggie gives when something really amuses her. “I’m sorry, Grammy.”

Maggie smirks. “He is right, Ma. You’re getting old.”

Maria huffs and pretends to stand up, her chair scraping the hardwood floor. Josh and Maggie, the ones sitting at her sides, instantly rise and walk around the table. Josh goes to hide behind Jessica and you suddenly feel Maggie’s hands on your shoulders, squeezing lightly.

“It’s getting late,” your wife comments. “I think my girls and I will retire.”

Maria glares at your wife and you can’t help but chuckle. When that glare is directed at you, you understood why they fled the Sawyer matriarch. Kara’s sudden weight on your lap tells you that, yes, it’s time to retreat. “Uh. Mags is right,” you say, raising too with Kara on your arms. “If we want to wake up at a decent hour, we should probably go to bed now.”

Maria narrows her eyes, but nods, settling in her chair. “Good night then, girls. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night,” your kids say as one and Kortni is by your side, grabbing onto Maggie’s hem before she is called.

You smile at her. “Sleep well, Maria.” No matter what she says, you don’t feel comfortable calling her Ma… you don’t do well with maternal figures.

“You too.”

After the mandatory round of good night with the other three, Maggie leads you out the kitchen.

_~Maria is scary.~_

Maggie and you pause at the same time in the middle of the stairs. You don’t need to look at her to know she is struggling, just like you, at Kortni’s comment.

It’s futile, though.

It starts with a little puff. Followed by a tiny snort. Then, she is giggling and you are trying not to choke on thin air. The laughter soon follows and you can’t seem to stop.

_~Mama?~_

Both your girls are looking at you confused.

You don’t really get it, either.

This day was a little too stressful and the laughter seems like the only way to let the tension out.

“I thought you girls were going to sleep?” Maria’s voice comes from somewhere and Maggie grabs your hand, tucking Kortni to her side, taking you upstairs.

“We’re going, Ma!”

XxXxX

You stay up until late, trading childhood stories. Kara falls asleep not long after you are all ready for bed and Kortni manages to catch a couple of stories before she too succumbs to her tiredness. The house is quiet besides your low murmurs, making you feel so out of sorts. Back in National City, it was quiet too, but here without the low hum of city makes you restless.

Still, you to fall asleep, secure in your wife’s arms. The faint noise of someone walking down the hallway the last thing you are aware of.

At some point, Kara and Kortni climb down their shared bed and join Maggie and you on the floor, making you unbelievable sweaty and uncomfortable with their body heat. It’s no surprise, then, that you are the first to wake up, way before you had planned, drenched and with zero possibility of going back to sleep.

You look at your girls once you have changed and you have cracked open the window. The light breeze is welcomed against your heated skin and you held in a snort at the sight before you.

In the few minutes you’ve been up, the kids had rearranged themselves around Maggie. Kara is in her usual spot a top your wife, embracing her with both legs and her free arm, resembling a baby koala. Kortni, much to your amusement, somehow wiggled around so she is resting her head on Maggie’s thigh, imitating a starfish and spreading all over your side of the sleeping space.

It looks like even if you wanted to try to sleep again, you have been kicked out of the bed.

In a perfect world, you should go for a run around the property and work out for a while. But, you would rather wait for Maggie to come run with you and perhaps the girls would want to join. And, well, you had five hours of sleep, you really don’t fancy working out today.

Maybe it’s time to go down and get started on breakfast for your lot.

After some long phone calls and even longer negotiations with Maggie, Maria agreed to let you handle breakfast and lunch for your girls as long as she was the one to feed them dinner. It took some serious talking, from both you and Maggie, to make Maria understand that not only Kortni couldn’t eat animal products of any kind, but that there were certain foods that Kara wouldn’t want or couldn’t try.

Maria agreed to cook a meat-free dish for them to eat and Maggie passed along several of Kara’s favorites, but you will make sure the two of them eat their fill during the day so they can skip dinner if they want. It’s awfully rude and it makes you feel so inadequate as a mother and as a guest, but you can’t let your kids suffer from something they usually enjoy.

“Mmm.” Kara shifts, pressing her feet to Kortni’s cheek and making the older girl groan. Maggie’s arm goes to rest across Kara’s back and Kortni kicks once.

You wait for a beat, to see if either of them will join you in the land of the walking. When they all choose to keep huddled together (how can Maggie have both of them on top of her and not feel hot?), you decide it’s time to get started with that breakfast.

Getting to the kitchen, you shift uncomfortably for a moment. This is not your house and you don’t know where anything is. Maria might have said she was fine with you using the kitchen, but that was on the phone and she never gave _you_ permission. She gave it to Maggie.

Suddenly, you feel like an intruder and you don’t know what to do with yourself.

“Yes?”

You jump, swirling around and cursing in your mind. You are a half-trained agent and you shouldn’t be startled like this.

You blame your sudden anxiety.

The woman who stands before you makes you blink, stupidly. She is not as short as you expected, you thought she would be as tiny as Maria, but no, she is almost your height. Her skin and hair are also lighter than Maggie’s and her nose it’s the same as Josh, you think – which is unjustly disappointing.

Her eyes, however, her eyes are exactly the same shade and the spark there is one you have seen in Maggie’s eyes on a handful of occasions.

Like when that frat boy came to ask you for a ‘dance’ in one of your earlier dates.

Or when Kate groped you the first time.

Or when Lyla met you, proclaiming she had slept with Maggie.

Or when Maggie got toe to toe with Lucy, protecting Kara’s freedom.

That’s the same look Maggie gets when she is defending what is hers.

“H-Hi.” Your voice cracks and you have to clear your throat before trying again. “Good morning.”

Mary, because she can’t be other than Mary, raises an eyebrow at you. She is already dressed to face the day and you feel under-dress in Kate’s latest gift of ‘Mama Bear protecting the LGTB+ cub’ t-shirt and black cargo shorts. You think she is a manager at some restaurant on Lincoln while she gets her master degree, but looking at her, she could pass for any CEO.

She dresses smartly than Kate, that’s for sure.

She even has her make up on and it’s fucking six in the night.

“And who you might be?”

You try for a smile but grimace instead. “I’m Alex S-Danvers, ma’am.” Close call, you haven’t told anyone in this family that you and Maggie tied the knot. Your rings, both the wedding bands and the engagement ones, are safely waiting for your return home in the small safe in your bedroom.

Her eyes shift so subtly that you wouldn’t be able to notice it without your training. That shift, however, isn’t enough to let you know what’s going in her mind. “Maggie’s girlfriend.” The way she makes the statement doesn’t help you gauge her thoughts, either.

“Yes, ma’am.” Why are you even calling her ma’am?

“And why are you up this early? Only my son and Sarah rise with the sun.”

“You’re up too.” Shit, you didn’t say that out loud, did you? Shit. Shit. Shit.

She frowns. “My shift starts at eight. I need to leave soon.” She looks you over and you can almost feel the disappointment in her glare. “I believe you are on vacation? Not like the rest of us that have to work?”

Okay. Where the hell did that come from? “I’m on personal leave, ma’am,” you defend yourself. “I’m expected to go back to work in September.” Hank said your suspension _could_ be over in September, granted you passed all his silly exams. He was not pleased with you hitting Astra.

Although you know you hitting Astra was the excuse he used to give you time for yourself and your family without having to make such a huge deal of it.

But, well, you can’t really tell her that, can you? You have no idea what she knows about you, but you do know that she’s not aware of what happened with Kara, or Kortni.

Maggie’s family is going to be the first ones you sell your new covers to. They don’t know enough of your lives to realize you are lying and this is the perfect chance to test how the semi-new identities sit with all of you. Maria is, of course, the only one that knows what’s really going on.

After telling Maria everything regarding Kara’s kidnapping and the kids’ status as aliens, Maria promised to help you keep the secret and to help you hide the girls from the rest of the family.

It’s not that you don’t trust them, or at least that’s not the main reason. No. Maggie was right, the key to not having a secret shared is not sharing that secret. At all.

“Oh. And what’s your job?” She comes fully into the kitchen and starts the coffee maker. “You are a wannabe actress, no? You made Maggie move to National City. There is nothing else, but movies there. Sure she’d do that for an easy lay. Or, you are one of those crazy business women Maggie likes to bed so much? Do you have an empire somewhere?”

Oh. She did not. She did not insult Maggie _and_ Kate in the same breath.

“No. I can’t act to save my life.” You tell her with almost real innocence. So, no one has bothered to tell her who you are, other than Maggie’s ‘girlfriend’. You will burn her so good with _who_ you are. “I just got a job offer that was too good to pass. My doctorate director managed to put a good word for me at DEUS Labs and suddenly, I’m their new Development leader. And of course, Maggie is such an amazing partner, she decided to tag along. I’m just so glad she loves me, you know? Twenty-four and with two kids? I’m pretty lucky she decided to stick around.”

Her back is to you, but you feel so much satisfaction at how she tenses at your words. As sweetly as they were delivered, they hit their mark.

Good.

You decide it’s time to make that breakfast, now that the anxiety and awkwardness have turned into annoyance and anger. You go to the fridge and start pulling out the food you brought. You are thinking fruit salad and blueberry pancakes for all and some eggs and bacon on the side for Kara and some tofu for Kortni.

A scoff on the left makes you pause, your hand hovering over the sack of oranges. You decide to adopt her same attitude from before. “Yes?”

“Soy milk on a dairy farm? I should have known you were the typical white entitled woman… let me guess, you force your kids to drink that and I bet you don’t even let them eat gluten?”

You nod. “Kortni especially loves her soy milk. You know, with her dying if she drinks milk and all that.” You scrunch up your nose, as in thought. “Gluten hasn’t been a problem so far, though.”

She grumbles something under her breath and you understand how she was lovely nicknamed “The Wicked Witch of the West.” You have read “The Wicked Years’” series and you felt a kinship to Elphaba, so calling Mary that makes you feel bad for Elphie, but well, Mary indeed acts like the movie version of the witch.

“Could you tell me where the plates are?” you ask her as kindly as you can.

She points at the compartment over your head. “The pans are inside the oven,” she adds almost as if she was commenting on the weather.

“Thank you.”

A heavy silence falls as she drinks her coffee and you work on the eight servings for your family and five more for the Sawyer household. You are awake and you are making breakfast, the last thing you could do was to make breakfast for your hosts too.

If there is anyone that won’t take a plate, you are confident the girls can eat it without trouble.

You are cracking the last of the eggs for the pancakes when a little voice reaches you. _~Mama?~_

You turn around to see Kara making her sleepy way to you. She is dragging behind her one of the baby wrappers you packed, resembling a toddler with their blankie. She might have stopped questioning reality as often, but the new habit she has acquired of being strapped to your back in the mornings is one you don’t see going away anytime soon.

“Hi, baby,” you greet her with a smile. You turn off the stove and focus on Kara, going to her and settling her against your hip, tossing the wrap over your free shoulder. “Can you say good morning to Mary?”

You noticed that the moment Kara made herself known, Mary’s eyes were trained on your baby girl and the polite thing to do is, well, being polite.

Kara’s eyes open a little bit more, but she still leans all her weight on you, and she looks at Mary from your arms, waving a little. “Goo’ morning, Miss ‘ary,” she says around a yawn, clutching your stone without a thought.

“Good morning.”

You don’t know what you would do if Mary decided to be rude to your kids, but you won’t need to find out. At least for now.

You look at Kara. There is some drool on the corners of her mouth and her hair is all messy and tangled, having escaped from the usual braid you put it in every night. She ditched her pants before coming down, but her shirt is long enough to cover her legs to the knee so you don’t think she is cold nor hot. Her eyes are still mostly closed, and you know she would go back to sleep with ease if prompted.

All in all. You don’t understand why did she wake up.

“What happened, Kara? What are you doing up?”

“Mama gone,” she slurs. The way she is speaking lets you know she still needs some hours of sleep.

“It got a little crowded for me, love. Where’s Mom? Is she still sleeping?” She nods. “Well, then, why don’t I take you there and you lie down for a little bit more?”

“No. Stay.”

“Okay then. Do you want to go to the living room to bundle us?” When she was a baby, you were able to strap her to your back or front with ease, either standing up or sitting down. Now that she is taller it’s a little bit of a juggling act, but you have gotten good at it too.

“Yes.”

You kiss the top of her head, hyper-aware of Mary’s eyes on you. “Mom and Kori are not around to help us, so you will have to wake up a little for me, baby. I don’t want to drop you.”

“Yes, Mama.”

“Good girl.”

You move to the living room after double checking the stove is off and set to work. The first wrap you learnt to do with Kara will serve you good today, as it doesn’t really involve much hassle for you or your half-asleep daughter.

Sitting her down on the couch facing the backrest, you quickly find the middle of the wrap and put it around her shoulders, almost as if she was wearing a really long cape. She blinks up at you, craning her neck back, but she knows by now that she shouldn’t move if she wants this to be done quickly. “Are you planning on going back to sleep?” You ask her, combing the hair from her eyes her.

You can see Mary watching you from the kitchen’s doorway, making this a little uncomfortable.

Kara nods once before rubbing at her nose. It’s then when you notice that she is wearing her dampener and some of her tiredness is explained.

You never made sure the girls took them off last night.

Damn it. You were careless. Too careless.

And distracted.

This place is messing with you.

“Hey, baby.” You hold her arm with care, deftly undoing the bracelet. “I’m taking this.”

Kara makes a soft sound of compliance and you slid the bracelet in your short’s pocket. The low radiation of the dampeners makes the use of their lead boxes a redundant precaution. When you designed these, you made sure they had to be in contact with their skin to be effective.

You can’t risk them losing the cases and finding lead lying around is kind of hard these days.

“Ready, baby?” At Kara’s nod, you gently place your hands down turned so your thumbs press on her chest and the rest of your fingers wrap securely under her armpits. With a quick turn of arms learnt years ago, you toss her over your shoulder and onto your back.

Kara wiggles, wrapping her legs around you, helping you as much as she can in this position.

Practice makes perfect and so you quickly build a seat for her with the wrap, making sure to secure her with the dangling ends of it. “Arms, please.” Kara and you have worked a system where she tucks her arms at her sides and her palms on your shoulder blades, almost as if she was pushing you away. It allows her to sleep easily and you can move around without worrying about hitting her relaxed limbs.

Once she is safely pulled against you, you bounce her once, twice, to see if the seat will hold and to make sure she won’t start slipping. That settled, you tie one of the newest knots you have learnt in training with the fabric that’s left and you are done.

“Go back to sleep, baby,” you say softly.

“M’kay.”

You pace the spacious living room, humming softly and swaying ever so lightly. Little by little, you feel how Kara’s weight settles on your back. Her nose nuzzles the back of your neck and her deep breaths tickle your skin.

The moment you feel her left right hand slipping on her mouth you know she’s out.

“Isn’t she too old for that?”

Mary’s sudden input reminds you that she is still around and you turn to see her still regarding you from the kitchen’s entrance. Kara’s solid warmth settles your anger and makes you calm. “Maybe,” you concede walking towards her. You still need to get the food ready. “But she’s not hurting anyone and it’s no bother to me. If she’s happy, she can keep doing whatever she wants.”

Mary’s stare is heavy on your back as you start again on breakfast. “You’re spoiling her.”

Instead of being offended that statement simply makes you chuckle. “Kara is the farthest from spoiled you will ever find.” Your baby is a terror sometimes, you won’t deny that. Her tantrums are epic when she feels like making your life difficult and Kate’s tendency to buy almost entire stores for her worry you a little, but Kara is the gentlest soul on Earth. She’s pureness and joy and sunshine combined in a little body and Rao, the only thing you want to do with your life is making her happy.

“My Josh stopped sucking his thumb before he was a year old.”

“Good for him. He seems like a nice kid.”

“He also refused to be carried around after he turned five.”

You smile tenderly at that. You really don’t think Kara will ever stop asking to be carried around. You can see clearly in your mind a thirty something Kara begging for a piggyback ride.

If she doesn’t get a growth spurt soon, carrying her won’t be a hassle for some time yet.

“This one loves to be hugged.” You look at the time in your watch. Almost seven… damn it. It’s too early and you can start feeling the tiredness creep in your bones. You look at what you have done so far and hum in appreciation. The salad is done, as it’s the batter and Kortni’s tofu. You won’t start on the eggs until you know when they actually eat. “Sorry, but when is breakfast usually served?”

Mary answers you with a scoff behind her cup of coffee. Damn, don’t you want one.

Just a tiny, little, small cup of coffee.

During Kara’s kidnapping your intake of coffee started to build up and during the weeks the girls spent at the DEO you got into the bad habit of mixing coffee and RedBull. Maggie and Kate noticed you were getting a little too addicted to the caffeine so they cut you off.

You could totally make yourself a coffee without anyone knowing. Kara’s asleep so she won’t be able to tell on you, but you don’t feel like sneaking around Maggie’s back and doing something you promised would stop doing.

A cup of coffee it’s not worth Maggie’s disappointment.

“You’re making breakfast and don’t you even know when is everyone going to show up?”

You shrug. “You could tell me and then I’ll know.”

Mary heavy criticism is obvious in her deadpan stare. “Josh and Sarah will be done with the cows around eight. Ma wakes Jessica up at seven. Take your own conclusions from that.”

So… you should have breakfast ready in under an hour… If you are planning on feeding thirteen people, you should start now.

You turn to Mary. She has been around for a while now and she hasn’t done anything other than silently judging – you and judging you very vocally –, and drink coffee. Wasn’t she leaving soon? “I’m going to start with the pancakes now, would you like me to serve you some when they are ready? I don’t think I’ll be able to have the eggs ready before you have to leave.”

Her eyebrow rises again. “And pray tell why should I eat your food? For all I know you are a lousy cook.”

Fine. See if you offer her food again. Your anger is threatening to come around again. “I’ve been cooking since I was eleven.” Around the time your grandma died, if you want to be precise.

Someone had to feed you, after all.

“Right.” She looks you up and down and her eyes fix on your stomach. “And I would suppose you are so good at it that you eat _so_ much. Oh, wait, don’t tell me you are one of those women that eat a celery and say you already ate too much.”

What?

You are cooking enough food to feed a small army. Where does she think all the food is going to go?

And, yeah, you have lost weight over the last two months, so what? You are not anorexic or anything. You have built muscle with your training and the beginnings of a six pack is starting to show, but you are not as thin as Mary is implying.

Also, she is thin too. Why is she even picking a fight about this?

“Celery is gross,” you choose to say, starting on the pancakes. You don’t feel like having to bury a body and you can’t really kill Mary without Maggie’s permission. So, making an off comment seems like the best plan. “I’m not like Kate that swears on the stuff.”

She is having a sip of coffee when you say that and she almost chokes on it. Uh. Maybe that wasn’t such an ‘off comment’. “Kate? As in…” she makes a vague motion with her hand.

“Kane? Yeah.”

You don’t have to look at her to know she is making a disgusted face. “Did you meet Maggie through Kate?” The incredulity and anger in her voice are ill-placed and it irks you greatly.

“You got a problem with that?” You refuse to look at her and you refuse to share how you met Maggie. She doesn’t deserve to know of your lives and if you see her now, you will be throwing punches.

(You wonder, for a second, if Kara’s tendency to hit when she was five comes from you.)

“Kate’s a whore. I wouldn’t doubt you are one too.”

You turn to her, the decision to not engage long forgotten. “That’s my sister you are talking about.”

“Your… sister.” She scoffs again. “Wonder if the promiscuity runs in the family?”

A cold fury settles over you. “Not at all. My sister’s been in a relationship for three years now. In fact, I’m sure she is going to propose soon. Tell me, how is that husband of yours? Oh, right. Your husband left you. Cheers to him.”

Her face twist at that. “At least I was with the right gender.” Her sudden pleased smile startles you. “I’m sure she will realize her mistake and dump your ass.”

“Like you dumped her? Where were you when she graduated? Where were you when she got accepted at Gotham? Where were you when she got her stupid wisdom teeth out?” The shock on her face shouldn’t make you feel this amazing. “You didn’t care. None of you did.”

“W-We called.”

You turn again to your task. You won’t allow her bigotry and hate burn your kids’ breakfast. “Right. Sorry, I forgot that you called. Maria and her brother… yeah, you called.” You flip a pancake angrily. “Do you know who was there? Me, obviously. Kate and her girlfriend. And her daughter.”

“Maggie doesn’t have a daughter,” she all but snarls.

“And you are right. She has two. Kara.” You point to your back. You are so, so, so, so, grateful Kara sleep like the dead and she hasn’t stirred. “And Kortni, who is currently sleeping in her arms.”

“Those two aren’t Maggie’s family!”

You grip your spatula with enough force you marvel it doesn’t break. “Remind me again,” you say between gritted teeth. “What’s family for you? You have never cared about her. You never call, you never visit. The only stories I have heard from you is what a shitty sister you really are.”

“You don’t know anything about being a sister to a baby sixteen years younger than you!”

“Ha!” Kara shifts, prompting you to lower your voice. The last thing you need is your baby waking up in the middle of a fight. “You don’t know anything about us. I was sixteen when Kara came live with us after seeing her parents die!” 

“You hav-”

“Mama?”

All the fight leaves you and both you and Mary turn to the kitchen’s entrance. Kortni is standing there, rubbing her eye and playing with the hem of her shirt. She is wearing Maggie’s Bare Naked Ladies’ t-shirt and it’s baggy enough on her to make her look younger than her fifteen years. She is barefoot and her short hair is sticking every way with a big red spot on her cheek on the side you know for a fact she likes to sleep on.

She looks cuter and tinier than you’ve ever seen her.

But, it’s not her sudden apparent vulnerability, nor the fact she stole one of your favorite shirts to sleep from your fingers last night.

No.

It’s how she called you.

Ideally, her cover would make her call you Mama and Maggie Mom.

Ideally, her cover would make it so that her interactions with you two are as close to Kara’s interactions with you.

In paper, she is not yet your kid. Or, well, she is. But.

Her cover says she is being fostered by you.

(You totally plan on changing that to _adopted by you_.)

You have talked to her about it several times. You presented to her the cover on writing once she learnt enough English to read it. You reminded her of it the night before…

You told her she was free to call you whatever she wants, whatever she feels comfortable with as long as she kept being polite.

(Kate might have suggested she called you Klutz O’Poop and Maggie Stupid McDumb. That night your sister had to find a hotel.)

You never expected Kortni to call you anything other than Alex. You know that some words are for her a way to remember who she is, where she comes from. What she left behind.

You never ever thought you would heard those words leave her mouth.

“Kori,” you call to her, turning down the stove.

She shuffles into the room, holding on to your shirt and leaning all her weight on you. “Mmm.” Your arms go around her, hugging her to you.

When she started looking for more and more physical contact you asked Doctor Quinzel if that was normal. Kara is a tactile girl and she craves the affection, but Kortni was so hard and difficult to reach for several days. She would flinch easily, she would wiggle when you touched her and then, a couple of days after you returned home you noticed she was being awfully demanding.

It was such a contrast with the girl you first met.

Yeah, you might have found a kinship with Kortni and her way of thinking since the beginning, but her sudden affection concerned you. You were afraid there was something wrong with the girl, some kind of psychological reason for her weird switch.

Doctor Quinzel couldn’t really help you. Unless Kortni decides to talk to her, that’s it.

She said, however, that, judging what she knows and what you had told her, that Kortni might be touch starved to some extent. She has spent years on her own in a planet she didn’t know and with powers she had to learn to control. Her aunt might have been around, but the emotional support Kortni needed was lacking and that’s why, she hypothesized, the girl had such a change.

She latched to the ones that showed her affection and she was making up for lost time.

A little snore and a nose rubbing on your chest make you look down.

You chuckle, seeing her eyes closed and a mix of disappointment and relief settles on your belly. So that’s why she called you Mama. That’s why she is acting so relaxed in front of a stranger. That’s why she’s practically hugging you without restraint.

She is still more asleep than awake. Just like how Kara was when she first came down.

“Hey, little star. What are you doing up?”

 _~Your_ “phone rang _.”_

 _~Sorry, love._ “I forgot to turn it off.”  You don’t care if Mary understands half of what you say or not. You are so done with her. _~Where did you leave Mom?~_ You have to try. Now that she is in that twilight zone between awake and asleep, you need to see how she refers to Maggie.

“Shower.”

_~Why don’t you go lie down for a little longer?~_

Kortni shakes her head. “I’m hungry.”

“Then go sit and I’ll have your fruit ready.” You feel her starting to float and you’re quick to embrace her a little more tightly. _~Walk, Kortni. Walk.~_

The girl whines, but her feet are firmly on the ground before you release her.

“And say good morning to…” you trail off, looking for the woman who minutes before almost turned you into a murderer.

She is gone.

Her cup sits on the counter and you sigh.

This was not how you wanted to end your little fight.

You hear faint voices, Maria and Jessica are up.

You sigh again.

Well, you have breakfast to finish.

And you have two weeks to finish this argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Greetings people,_
> 
> _Dear people affected by Hurricane Harvey, know that you are in our hearts and in our prayers, and dear people that are in the path of Hurricane Irma, stay safe, seek shelter and take the steps necessary to keep your safe and your stuff safe too, remember that the insurance companies are not your friends._
> 
> _Let's talk about this chapter, in a way I'm kind of glad that Kori and little Kara had that fight, at least they are closer to each other and very glad that the Mommies love Kori the same way they love little Kara._
> 
> _Also, Kori was supposed to get married to Ren-Wel? *Gasps*_
> 
> _And I don't like Mary. She is very mean, how dare she criticized our beloved family, but mostly how dare she say anything against little Kara._  
>  Also, please someone in the Sawyer household take Mary to the emergency room. That was brutal.
> 
> _Be warned that this beta is a fan of shows like "The Golden Girls." And "Frasier." and every now and then you are going to see quotes from said shows._
> 
> _*Waves to* icouldbereadingnow, ownyourstage, foreverlater, and obviously to Char!!_
> 
> _And so you know, chapter 31, 32 are ready and I'm currently working on chapter 33 and I'm sure that Char is already working on chapter 34._
> 
> _Like always I am very sorry for any grammatical error or spelling mistake._
> 
> Yep, I'm working on chapter 34 as you read this... aren't we awesome?
> 
> How Alex gets Kara onto her back is called the "Superman toss" and I swear I'm not making that up.
> 
> Also, Blue Springs, Nebraska, has like, 320 people living in it... it's tiny, guys, so tiny.
> 
> Aaaaand, due to popular demand, we'll keep the detailed view of their lives for as long as you guys read us. Fear not, people, that we'll stop writing this or that we'll leave it unfinished, no. I'll crop years and wrap it up before I let that happen, and knowing that you guys wanna keep reading, then I'll keep writing for as long as you want me to :D
> 
> (Also, the beta would absolutely kill me if I stopped writing just because :/)
> 
> For anyone who is still reading this, here are the bare basics of Maggie's family (mainly because they are not really explained in the story):
> 
> Roberto Sawyer (deceased) married Maria Elena Sawyer (68) several years ago and had a not so little brood of children:
> 
> Twins Roberto Jr. (Bob, 49) and David (49); Antonio (Tony, 46) and Mariana (Mary, 42)
> 
> When their kids were small, they started fostering older teens (mostly boys) to help give them a chance to leave the system in a safe place and with better odds.
> 
> Several years later, Maggie (26) was born.


	31. Farm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Yeah, the bed frames just got here. Two queens. A normal, close-to-the-ground one and a freaking tall one. Why are you making the Princess sleep on the floor?”_
> 
> You snort at her indignant voice. “Kori chose her own bed, you know?”
> 
> You can almost see her scrunched up nose. _“And the Little Princess? Are you training her to lock her in a tower? Are you trying to make her get used to the height?”_
> 
> At that, you laugh out loud, making all the eyes go to you. _~She can fly, you moron.~_
> 
> Or,
> 
> What happens when Maggie's brothers and their families finally arrive at the Farm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally was able to add ReinakoNanoFate as a co-creator!!!!! How cool is that?!!!
> 
> I love her and she deserves the world, but I can really just offer her virtual hugs *cries in the corner*.
> 
> So, ReinakoNanoFate was nice enough to release this chapter sometime around Monday... but I'm just releasing it now... I'm awful.
> 
> Also, sorry for what you're about to read. :D
> 
> And, at the bottom, a detailed (sort of) family tree so you can kinda picture who the hell is who. :D

 

_"Yeah, the bed frames just got here. Two queens. A normal, close-to-the-ground one and a freaking tall one. Why are you making the Princess sleep on the floor?”_

You snort at her indignant voice. “Kori chose her own bed, you know?”

You can almost see her scrunched up nose. _“And the Little Princess? Are you training her to lock her in a tower? Are you trying to make her get used to the height?”_

At that, you laugh out loud, making all the eyes go to you. _~She can fly, you moron.~_

Maggie decided that today was the day you would be swimming in the springs; Kara and Kortni look at you from the water and Maggie raises an eyebrow at you from where she is talking with Tony and Su by the shore.

You officially met the younger brother a couple of days ago when he and Su came home in a glory blast of loudness. He is cordial and polite with you and the girls, and you kind of fell under his charm; until you all came here today and he decided to push you into the river before you could ditch your tank top and shorts.

You think you can make your way back to the farm in just your tankini, but you really don’t feel like it, so your wet clothes are drying over a bush as you soak up some sun while your kids play with Jessica and your wife catches up with her brother.

Kate keeps insisting you are too pale, so you are simply lying on the beach chairs Tony brought along. Besides, you like salt water, not river water. Swampy river water is just wrong.

And talking about Kate, her chuckle warms your heart and you know she is goofing around for your sake. You might have been texting her a lot throughout the last days, but hearing her voice soothes your nerves immensely. “Kate, you are so stupid.”

_“And that dear sister is how you love me.”_

“Sadly, yes, I love you. Now, what else have you got there? Are the rooms painted?” When Kate and Renee agreed to house-sit, Kate also agreed to oversee the makeover to the girls’ rooms and make sure everything is ready for when you come back from Nebraska.

_“Yeah, they are ready…  are you sure Kortni asked for a green that dark?”_

Moss green is not a color you would use in a bedroom, no but that’s what Kori chose. “She picked the paint buckets herself, I’m sure it’s the right shade. And Kara’s?”

_“Paint’s still wet, but “The Carpenter,” said it will be ready to furnish tomorrow morning.”_

“Remind me where, in Rao’s name, you found Miss Duffy?”

 _“She came with high recommendations from the City Squad. She has fixed their digs more than once.”_ You sigh. Of course, she brought in Gotham City’s Siren’s fucking handy-woman. _“She’s almost done isolating the house. She got her hands on some really neat lead sheets and she’s making sure every room is sound proof. You won’t need to worry when the bow-chick-a-wow-wow comes back into your life. We don’t want you getting bored with the wife.”_

You blush faintly at that. Damn Kate and her stupid lewd comments. “I’ll have you know we have raised above that. We don’t need it to maintain a healthy relationship.”

The line is silent for a few seconds and then Kate is laughing hysterically in your ear. _“Damn, Lil’ sis! You sound like such a prude! As if I didn’t find your toys’ drawer!”_

That makes your cheeks set aflame. “Kate!”

_“I mean, I knew Maggie liked to cuff people, but really? Do they have to be pink?”_

“Katherine!”

_“Alexandra!”_

“Rao, you are insufferable!” And with that, you cut the call. Damn Kate and her stupid teasing and her stupid big sister complex and her stupid face and her stupid laughter.

Your phone rings again, with that stupid ‘Witch Doctor’ tune.

“Aren’t you getting that?” Maggie asks you from her lazy sprawl a few feet away. The phone falls silent and Maggie chuckles. “She is just going to keep calling until you answer her.”

“Who’s calling?” Tony asks and just like every time he speaks, you want to make a double-take at how similar his inflection is to Maggie’s. Sure, your wife’s voice is sweeter, but if she lowered her voice, she would sound exactly like Tony.

You sigh. “My annoying sister.” And just like Maggie predicted, your phone starts ringing again. You pick it up, answering with a short, “what do you want?”

Kate is still giggling on the other side. _“Sorry, baby sis. You are too easy sometimes.”_

“…”

 _“Aw, C’mon, Al. We all have been there, and I’m truly sorry.”_ Her apology sounded empty. You don’t believe her for a second. _“I’m sorry you haven’t had the chance to use your not so little toys, I mean.”_

“…” Of course. She is still teasing you.

_“You don’t need to be embarrassed, honey. It’s natural for some people to want to have this kind of fun. I mean, you might have two kids, but you’re still a stud.”_

“Mach es dir selber,” you growl, earning weird looks from your companions.

Kate snorts. _“No thanks, that’s why I have Renee around. No, but really, how is it really going, with our favorite water susceptible person? I mean, she kind of stole the sugar bowl.”_

Really Kate? Fine, you are game for playing her dramatics. You think for a moment, formulating your response. “That doesn’t ring a bell. I guess you're way dumber than originally thought. You know I hate you bringing up an obscure book reference. Don’t you show her! You hear me? Kara is too precious to corrupt her! She’s innocent, lovely. Kortni too; don’t you dare teach her this awful reference. Don’t teach them how to ring a bell.”

Okay, that was harder than you expected. Usually, when you use this code you are writing emails or texts to each other and smiley faces come in handy then. Also, you usually have time to map out your sentences in such a way that they don’t sound forced like now.

Maggie, Tony, and Su are staring at you and you ignore them.

Kate is silent for a moment. _“Damn, that was bad.”_

You snort. “Try doing that off the top of your head.”

Kate sighs on the other end. _“I had to write it down to make sense of it,”_ she admits. _“This system sucks.”_

“It really does.” You see the girls splashing around and smile. You know both of them are listening closely to your call, so you can’t really comment on your experience with Mary. “I’ll tell you later, sis.”

_“We will have a sisters’ night once you come back. You will need it.”_

A sisters’ night sounds amazing. You can go out for drinks and then hole up in Kate’s apartment to pig out on pizza and ice-cream. Speaking of. “How’s the apartment hunting going?”

_“Ugh. It’s awful. I wanted to be close to you guys, but the buildings around here are lame! Renee says we can always live atop Kane Tower, and I agree. I like to have a suit there to crash sometimes, but a proper home would be nice, you know?”_

You look at your kids. Kara is chasing Kortni, and Jessica is laughing at them both. For a girl who didn’t know how to swim this morning, Kortni surely is enjoying swimming in the deep parts now. You don’t worry, though, they are not wearing their bracelets and the water aids them to control their strength so Jessica is not in danger around them. “Yeah, I can totally understand that.”

Almost as if she knew you were thinking about how lucky you are for your kids, Kara suddenly shots from the water and comes running at you. “Mama!” she squeals with a laugh.

You barely have to prepare before a bony, wet butt slams on your stomach. “Ugh, Kara!” you grunt with the impact. “Why do you always land on my bladder?”

Your kid giggles, straddling you. “It’s fun!”

 _“Think you can jump on her for me, Little Princess?”_ Kate teases in your ear. She is well aware Kara can hear her loud and clear.

When Kara starts pushing to get up, you press down on her shoulder. “Don’t you dare.”

“But Auntie Kate said to jump on you!”

“Kara Álainn.”

Kara pouts, but instead of trying to flee, she shifts so she has her head tucked under your chin. “Can you tell Auntie Kate I miss her?”

You drop a kiss on her hair, inhaling deeply her swampy smell. She will go straight into the shower the moment you get back at the house. “My baby says she misses you, Candy Kane.”

_“I miss you too, Little Princess! And I miss you too, Big Princess!”_

Kortni pretends she didn’t hear, yet you can see from where you are that the small smile she has while listening to Jessica grows into a huge grin, and you know it’s not because of Jessica.

Although the shy grin Jessica sends Kortni makes you think there is something you should keep an eye on.

_“Hey, Kara. Doctor Quinzel came by yesterday. She brought two gifts for you, well, one and a half.”_

Kara perks up and she clutches at your stone. You kiss her hair again. Poor baby, she is excited and has to pretend she is simply lying on top of you, without hearing what her aunt has to say.

_“She brought you a special blanket and some stuff for your kitten.”_

You blink.

“Did she find an appropriate cat?” When Doctor Quinzel said that an animal might be of use for Kara, neither Maggie nor you protested. You know Maggie wanted to have a dog someday and you really don’t mind any kind of pet as long you are not the one responsible for walking it and it’s small enough to travel with you if necessary. When told she could have a pet, Kara immediately asked for a cat and Kortni voiced her support with almost as much excitement.

Now, not any animal can help, no. It has to meet certain criteria and so Doctor Quinzel made herself responsible for finding the _best_ cat for her – in her words – favorite crazy little person.

You guess being friends with Catwoman helped a lot on that front, though.

_“That she did! It’s a yellow fluff-ball that they rescued from an abusive shelter. They have nursed her back to health and she’ll be ready for when you guys get back!”_

Kara is then running again, pressing on your bladder once more just for good measure. “Mommy! Mommy!”

“Yes, Kara?” Maggie smiles as the girl plops down next to her. Why doesn’t Kara mess with Maggie’s bladder too? She always jumps on you but sits by Maggie.

“When are we going home?” your kid asks earnestly.

Maggie makes a double take and you chuckle. “I thought you were having fun? Feeding the chickens and helping Josh with the afternoon milking?”

“I am. But Auntie Kate says Doctor Q found my cat!”

Maggie’s confusion clears at that and she looks over at you. Tony and Su not so discreetly stare at you again. You wonder what are they thinking about.

“Kate also says she is not ready to be with us. She will be when we get back, but not before that,” you inform your wife.

“But Mama!”

“Kara.”

_“She wants to come back now, doesn’t she?”_

Your baby’s eyes grow watery and a whine escapes her lips. A tantrum is coming your way. “Yes, she does.”

 _“Kara,”_ Kate says in your ear. _“Harley said the fluff-ball will be here the same day you get home. She can’t be here before because she’s still being inoculated and they are waiting for her to wean completely. You wouldn’t want for her to be taken from her mama too soon, would you?”_

“But I want it now!” Kara sobs out and just like that, the tears are pouring down.

You check your watch, and, yes, it’s about time for her to take a nap. “I have to go, Kate, my baby is crying now.”

Maggie has Kara gathered in her arms and she whispers to her, but your girl won’t stay still. She is struggling for her Mommy to let her go and she is starting to kick.

_“Go see to her. Bye Kortni! Bye Kara! And bye you too, Mama Bear. Send my hellos to Mags.”_

“I’ll call soon, crazy bat.”

 _“I’ll have my phone nearby. Also, for the record, I didn’t find the toys… I just assumed. Thanks for letting me know Maggie still has the pink cuffs!”_ And with that, she hangs up.

You want to be offended, you really want to, but Kara is demanding your attention. She is now making grabby hands at you and Maggie is holding her against her as best as she can.

So, you get up and pick up your crying kid, easily holding her to your chest. “C’mon, baby; let Mommy get back to her talk with Uncle Tony.”

You start walking away, intending to lull your girl to sleep with a short walk.

“How old did you say she was?” You hear Su ask and whatever Maggie told her is overlapped with Kara’s sudden wailing.

“Shh, baby, shh.” You soothe her, walking slowly, but steadily.

“Mama! M-Mama!”

“I know Kara, I know. Your feelings are too much for you right now, aren’t they?”

“Alex?”

You look to your left to see Kortni walking beside you. “Yes, little star?”

“Is Kara okay? Do you want me to get her something? Is she hungry?”

You smile. Kara is still crying loudly and even when Kortni’s face shows how much the noise is hurting her, she’s still as close as her sister as she can. “No, Kori, she will be fine.” You nod towards your backpack next to your beach chair. “Why don’t you go put on your earplugs?”

Kortni shakes her head. “I can handle it.”

“I know you can. Doesn’t mean you have to.”

“But-”

“And bring me one of Kara’s juices, would you?”

That does the trick. Kortni runs to your backpack as quickly as she can without looking suspicious and hastily put on her earplugs. She is back with you in under a minute with one of Kara’s apple juice boxes. “Thanks, love.” You can see that the noise is not bothering Kortni anymore, but still, it might take a while until Kara falls asleep. You hand your youngest her drink, pleased when she takes it and she calms down a little.

~ _Why don’t you go swim with Jessica? We won’t go too far.~_

You plan on walking in circles around the area, far away enough that Kara’s cries don’t bother the rest, but close enough that you can see them all.

Kortni’s firm statement doesn’t surprise you. _~No. Jess said she doesn’t mind.~_ Kortni then hesitates. ~ _I’m a little tired, Alex. I don’t want to swim.~_

You nod. Kara’s crying is now reduced to the occasional hiccup and the hard sniff. The juice and the rocking helped and you think she is more tired than you first thought because she surely calmed down quickly enough. _~Come, then. Let’s lie down for a bit.~_

You guide Kortni to your beach chair and you sit down as close to the edge as you can. Lying down, you settle Kara on your chest and beckon Kortni to the free space on your right. “Come here, Kori.”

Your oldest climbs next to you, snuggling under your arm and resting her cheek on your breast. “Can I take a nap too?” She asks you and you look down to see her peeking up at you.

“You don’t have to ask, love. Rest.”

Kortni nods. “May his light greet you in the morrow.”

You let one hand play with the hairs at Kortni’s neck and the other start caressing Kara’s lower back. “And may her love illuminate your dreams.”

Both your kids fall asleep easily and so you close your eyes. You can hear the soft hum of the water running. You can hear the occasional splash, not doubt made by Jessica. You can hear a buzz that comes and goes that you hope is not a mosquito. And, you can hear Maggie softly talking with her brother and sister-in-law.

Their voices are lowered enough that you struggle with what they say, but one thing that Tony says gets to your ears perfectly:

“You chose well, Maggie. They are amazing.”

“Oh, no. They were the ones who chose me.”

XxXxX

Maggie’s family is… loud.

Tony and Su are, you find, the quietest of them all.

Which, considering Tony likes to jump scare everything and everyone, is a huge accomplishment.

Bob and Dave arrive together two days before the big weekend, each driving an RV suited for their families. Maria’s house is big, yes, but it can’t surely hold that many people for a prolonged period. Maggie’s oldest brothers brought their five teenage sons, so, yeah, the use of the RVs are more than justified.

(You asked Maggie if you four should look for accommodation in another place, let the house breathe. Maria overheard you and you were swatted with a rolled newspaper like a badly behaved puppy.

You still don’t know what to think of that.)

Maggie is not as close to them, the age difference too big, but she is happy to see them all the same. Dave – or the one you think is Dave – warms up to you easily, but Bob and the wives are a little cold towards you and the girls.

You knew not everyone would like you, but it’s a little weird seeing people not liking Kara on sight. Your baby is love and sunshine in the flesh and you knew Mary would be one not to like her, or you, but the rejection of these people is strange and stings a little.

Their kids – you don’t remember their names and you are not sure they were given to you, that meeting is hazy – spend most of their time with Josh and Sarah. If you remember correctly what Maggie told you, the oldest is three days younger than Josh and the youngest is eighteen, making them too old to hang out with Jessica, Kortni, and Kara.

Kara has been helping Josh with the cows in the afternoons and Sarah with the chickens after breakfast while Kortni has taken a shining to Jessica and she helps her with her chores here and there.

Before the last of the brothers came along, you were the one to cook breakfast and lunch for the house, receiving enough compliments to know Maggie’s family wasn’t eating out of pure politeness. However, with nine more people, meals have gotten complicated and you can only make your kids’ meals with how busy the kitchen is now.

You are not a picky eater and you have made notes on what dishes have put the biggest smiles on Maggie’s face, but forcing Kortni to eat meats (and Rao all the meals in this house are meat or dairy-based) and make Kara eat things she should be eased into, are not things you are willing to do. For your kids’ sake and for your own sanity.

Kortni’s upbringing made it clear she can’t eat anything that was once alive or could one day be alive. It doesn’t go against Rao’s teachings, but it goes against how her society was constructed, how she was raised. You plan on easing foods that are animal-based but not obtained by killing into her diet at some point, but now it’s not the time.

And Kara, your baby girl, suffers when her food is not right, when the textures are gross or when she sees how the food is done and something in the process makes her uncomfortable. You have practice making her try new food, but that usually takes time; time that you don’t really have right now.

When you prepare your girls’ food you can feel the judging eyes from Maggie’s sisters-in-law. Even Su, the most easy-going of them all, thinks you are spoiling your kids unnecessarily. You could try to explain, but well, Maggie keeps reminding you neither of you owe them any kind of explanation.

You are raising your kids as best as you can and with all the love you can muster.

Seeing Kortni watching Jessica on the keyboard, and feeling Kara snuggled to your side, reading quietly, while the rest of the house is in chaos with all the men shouting and laughing, eases your mind.

You can admit it’s a little overwhelming for you too.

“See?” Jessica thankfully understood early on that both your girls were too sensitive to sound and sometimes light, so her voice is soft as she teaches Kortni how to play the battered keyboard. “Once you know what to expect, it’s easy.”

Your oldest nods. “Why are the notes… letters?” she asks.

Jessica scrunches up her nose as Kortni starts imitating what Jessica taught her. “That’s just the way they are.”

You don’t know how music was in Krypton, even when Kortni have shown to have an amazing singing voice, but you know you have to intervene before Kortni shows how little of Earth music she knows.

“Remember she just came to the United States, Jessica. This is weird for her.”

Jessica looks at you, skeptical. Kortni keeps playing and you are glad to see she is good at this too. “They don’t have music in Norway?”

You chuckle at that. “They do, but Kortni here is more athletically inclined. And, the school she went to didn’t really focus on arts, Jessica.”

Jessica’s head tilts to the side. “You know you can call me Jess, right Miss Danvers?”

It’s your turn to scrunch up your nose. “Only if you call me Alex. Miss Danvers is just wrong.” It makes you feel old _and_ that is not your real name.

Jessica shrugs. “You are an adult. It’s only polite.”

“Mama is not an adult,” Kara chimes in. “She is just Mama.”

“Kara is right,” you say with a beaming smile. “I’m just Mama.”

“But it’s wrong.”

You raise an eyebrow at her. “I don’t see you calling Josh ‘sir’.”

“Josh is twenty-four. He’s barely an adult.”

“Neither am I. I’m twenty-four, too.”

Jessica’s jaw hits the floor. “You aren’t twenty-four!”

You sigh. Not four months ago you were bemoaning how the flight attendant asked for your license to serve you a scotch and now this teen says you don’t look your age. You know your cheeks are still hollow, you haven’t really gotten the tan you wanted and the lines around your eyes aren’t going anywhere, but, really?

“How old do I look?” you ask her, letting yourself go boneless on the couch you are sharing with Kara. If Maggie were here, she would say you are being a drama queen. “C’mon, don’t pull any punches. How old do I look?”

Jessica is as red as a tomato as she stammers her answers. “Y-You look young! Really young… younger than, um than Sarah! No! No! Sorry… but… I-I mean… I’m sorry I said you’re old, you certainly are not!”

You laugh, making her go silent with a sharp clink of her teeth, suddenly charmed with this fresh-faced kid. “Sorry, sorry. You just look so cute all flustered. You don’t need to apologize, it’s fine.”

Jessica turns even redder. “I mean it… you look young… but I thought you were a young face in an old body… I-I mean! You’re an old soul in a baby body! Oh, my God. That was so wrong! I’m so sorry!”

Your laughter comes back and you notice in the back of your mind that Kara is looking at you with puzzlement and Kortni has finally stopped trying to play “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”, which, you think, it’s fitting for the first song she learns to play.

“Mama is not a baby,” Kara says simply.

“And she is not an old body,” Kortni adds with a frown.

You can see your girls getting a little defensive so you jump to Jessica’s rescue.

Pulling Kara to your lap, you beckon Kortni to you, pleased when she comes and sits on Kara’s empty seat. “Girls, Jess is joking. She doesn’t mean what she said,” you tell them, throwing an arm around Kortni’s shoulders. “She’s not being literal,” you add, for both their benefits.

Kara won’t know that if you don’t point it out and Kortni is still getting used to the concept that in English, in this world, sometimes words don’t mean what they mean.

Kortni nods, but Kara looks up at you. “You are not a baby. I’m your baby.”

You smile. “Yes, Kara. You are my baby.”

“You are not an adult.”

“Well…” your brow crinkles. “Technically, yes, I am. I’m over twenty-one, so I’m an adult. But what Jess meant was that I’m too young to be considered boring like an adult. Right, Jess?”

“Yeah, I meant it like that. Also, what I meant,” Jessica tries again, “Is that you’ve done too much with your life to be twenty-four. A Ph.D., two kids, a really amazing job, a house… I wish I can be like that when I’m twenty-four too.”

“If you really want something, you can do it. But, even if you aren’t quite where you want to by the time you are my age, that’s okay too. You should do things at your own pace, Jess, not try to emulate me. We are all different.”

“But your life is so good! And you’re so amazing!” she exclaims, the tomato red returning to her cheeks.

If only Jessica knew what you have to go through to reach this point of your life. You may be twenty-four, but you certainly feel like you are well into your forties. “Thanks, Jess, but not everything is sunshine and rainbows.”

“Still,” her eyes drift to the side. Her face suddenly breaking into an impish glint. “Say, Alex… You wouldn’t have space for another teen? I promise I don’t eat too much, I can fix everything in the house from showers to light bulbs and I have pretty good grades. Would you like to have another daughter?”

You know she is joking. Maggie and you had a really nice talk with her the other day while your girls were napping in the backyard’s hammock and Jess talked to you both about what she expects of her life. She knows she’s still in the system and that the only reason Sarah is still with her is because Maria took them into her home shortly before Sarah turned eighteen. Her sister might be emancipated, but Maria helps them a lot and allowed Sarah to stay with Jess, something she’ll forever be grateful.

She spoke to you about how she liked Blue Springs enough, that she was not quite closeted, that she doesn’t want any kind of relationship, formal relationship until she is in college, and how the small community of her High School allows her to fully concentrate on her grades and independent studies. She told you about her dreams of piloting a plane someday, and now that you mentioned, of maybe joining NASA too at some point, that she just really wants to see Earth from up high, and what’s higher than outer space?

You know she’s happy where she is in life right now and that, coupled with the sparkle in her eyes, tell you that, yes, she is joking around. “Sure, kid, you can come back with us. I’m pretty sure you will be comfortable sharing Kori’s room.”

And, as predicted, Jessica is blushing again. Ah, young love. With all the crushing and all the blushing and the overall awkwardness.

Kara’s head snaps to Jessica then. Kortni is looking at you a little perplexed, but then her face clears and she nods to herself. However, you see Jessica shift in place, the laughter gone from her eyes.

Oh.

“Kara,” you warn.

Your kid looks at you again, the glare you know she was giving Jessica gone. “Mama?”

“Don’t bully Jess, she is nice.”

“But, Mama.”

“They weren’t being literal,” Kortni says. “Right? You two were joking around.”

“Yes, love, we are just joking around.”

The door to the TV room you have been holing up in opens and you turn to it. From the corner of your eye, you see Jess relaxing and sending a grateful smile to your oldest.

“Hey, love,” Maggie greets, closing the door and shutting off all the noise from the rest of the house. “Hi, girls.”

“Hey.” You tilt your head upwards to receive a kiss and you smile. It’s weird but welcomed being the shorter one in a kiss. “I thought you were catching up with the twins?”

Maggie sits at your side, sandwiching Kortni in between you two. “It’s amazing how after years without seeing each other, we really don’t have that much to share.”

“You became a police officer, graduated top of your class from the best Academy in the country, got your Bachelor’s on Criminal and Political Science, started dating me and got two kids… I mean, the last two are your only achievements, but still.”

Maggie embraces Kortni by her middle, taking advantage of where her hand is to pinch you on the side. You jump, both startled and annoyed that she knows all your ticklish spots. “But, that’s just it,” she says. “Once that info was out in the open; the topics were spent.”

You frown and gently push Kara off your lap. “Why don’t you two,” you tell your girls, “keep practicing with Jess while Mom and I go for a walk?”

Kara nods, taking Kortni’s hand and leading her to Jess’ spot on the floor before the instrument. You are ready to do the same to your wife, directing her out of the room and probably out of the house to have that talk, when Maggie notices the keyboard for the first time.

“Hey!” she exclaims, surprised. “That’s mine!”

And with that, the shy and quiet Jessica you met on your first night here comes back. “I’m sorry! Maria said it was okay for me to play it. I will put it back-”

“No!” Maggie interrupts her, raising up and going to sit with the girls. “No, Jess, I didn’t mean it like that. No. I just thought this thing was long sold or something. Jess, you can play it all you want, in fact…” She reaches for it and flips it, opening the battery compartment. It’s empty except for a yellowed slip of paper and some marbles.

“So that’s why it rattles…” Jessica comments as she receives the slip of paper Maggie hands her.

“Here, this is this keyboard’s deed. Don’t ask why, but when Charlie handed it down to me, she actually wrote a freaking deed. I think she was making sure Lyon didn’t steal it. Still, the deed is that” she points to the paper that Jessica is now reading, “and so the keyboard is yours now.”

Jessica looks at Maggie again, her eyes wide open. “I can’t-”

“Just take it, kid. I guess they still don’t have that many clubs at Southern High, right?”

“I really don’t like basketball and the kids at football are creepy.”

Maggie snorts. “Go Raiders! No, but really, you use it all you want, you can keep it and if anyone gives you trouble, shows them the deed. Charlie’s name still weighs a lot around here.”

Charlie Park is the foster-sister that seduced Maggie into military camp all those years ago. She’s the foster-sister that allowed Maggie to meet Lucy and thus travel to Metropolis. She’s the foster-sister that got the ball rolling regarding Maggie’s career choice and she’s also the foster-sister that you know Maggie’s the most excited to see this weekend.

“Thanks, Maggie,” Jessica says in a tiny voice.

Maggie simply smiles. “Don’t thank me. Better show me what you got. I was pants at playing this thing.”

You echo Maggie’s snort from before. For a moment, you thought Maggie was able to play the keyboard, but your wife is tone-deaf and it’s easier seeing her not knowing how to play than actually hiding her secret talents.

“Want to say something, Sawyer?” Maggie asks you from the floor.

You see Jessica frown at the name, but she thankfully doesn’t mention anything. “What about our walk?”

“Nah, the mosquitoes are starting to come out and Ma wants the first family dinner to be outside, so I don’t want to feed those leeches more than necessary.” She turns to Jessica and your kids. “C’mon, make me jealous of your talent.”

Maggie might be all blasé and calm, but she spoke loud and clear. She doesn’t want to talk right now. She simply wants to enjoy having her daughters and her youngest foster-sister around. She needs the distraction and you’re more than okay to let her have it.

You know you will be talking about what she is really feeling the moment your girls are asleep. And, if she doesn’t want to talk then, you will do so later. Maybe once you are back home.

If Maggie has shown you anything, is to not let it fester and talk about it.

But, for the moment, you will let her pretend she is happy.

XxXxX

Maggie didn’t lie when she said Maria wanted the first family dinner to be outside. Considering that her whole brood and their families amount to nineteen people, you can understand why she would make the boys haul out the long, plastic tables, to form a gigantic one for all to eat together. The chairs are highly uncomfortable, but damn if you aren’t impressed Maria has up to twenty folding chairs in storage.

Maggie also didn’t lie about the freaking mosquitoes.

The little fuckers are making your life impossible and you are just glad they can’t bite your girls because you won’t walk away from this mess of a meal without several battle wounds and you won’t want that for the girls, ever.

Looking at Maggie on your far-right side, you can’t help but feel jealous. Mosquitoes don’t bite her as much as they do you.

“So, Alex,” Bobby – or at least you think that’s his name – says once Maria said grace from her place at the head of the table. The way you are all seated was intentional, you know, because Maggie, the girls and you were seated nearer Maggie’s nephews than her brothers and Mary. That; that you know was intentional. “What school do you go to?”

You blink at him, pausing in serving Kara’s plate with the dish that Maria made especially for the girls. He is the nephew that’s just days younger than Josh and you are lost as to how to answer him. “Uh,” you say. “I don’t go to school.” You don’t really know what to say after that.

Maggie was not too happy you were so hard on Mary your first morning here and how you used your career and personal life to fight her.

She is not worth the words, she said.

She also keeps saying that you, as a couple, as parents, don’t owe her family any kind of explanations.

How the table is a little silent after Bobby’s question bothers you. They are all listening in.

You wonder exactly how much they all know about you.

Maggie talks with Maria every week and you know for a fact Maria knows it all. From who you are to _what_ Kortni and Kara are, but you also know she likes to know it all but it’s fairly good at keeping secrets. She always has.

Maggie also phones Tony once every blue moon. His job makes it difficult to know where he is at any given time, but you know he knows about you and the girls to some extent. You have been talking with both Su and him, but looking back, you haven’t really gotten into talking about yourself with them. All your chats were embarrassing Maggie stories shared for your sake and the odd political debate.

“Oh?” Sheila – Dave’s wife – asks from her seat next to Maria, serving herself some chicken. Shit, they are all really listening to this. “School not good enough for you?” The contempt in her voice does little to ease your sudden panic at being put on the spot like this.

“It would be more accurate to say that school is not good enough for her,” Maria says easily. “That girl just got her Ph.D. in, um, what was it, Maggie?”

“Bio-engineering with a special focus on alien science.” Rao, the way Maggie is looking so smug should make you feel safe. It does the exact opposite.

“Maggie,” Bob chimes in digging on his meal. The judgment is easily heard in his tone. “We didn’t know you were dating an older woman.”

You turn a bright red. What is it with this family and their obsession with your age? You promise to Rao to never bemoan your looks and age again after this.

“You have to tell us how you manage such clean skin, though,” Dave’s wife says. Frances, you think it’s her name. “You look so young!”

“Um?” You really don’t know what to say. Kara and Kortni are at either side of you, both looking at you expectantly. Jessica, from Kortni’s other side, looks at you too with a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t be daft.” Maria’s hard tone reaches your side of the table easily. “Alex is younger than our Maggie.”

“That’s right,” Mary’s voice is cold and you gulp. Why is Rao testing you like this? “She claims to be Josh’s age. But, how can she? She also claims she is the head researcher at DEUS Labs. Lies if you ask me.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. How can you fight Mary, and the rest of Maggie’s brothers, with all the family here _and_ with Maggie making you promise you wouldn’t let them bait you?

But, before you can say anything, Maggie speaks up. “Stop being a nosey parker, Mary. She is amazing that’s all you need to know about her.”

“Didn’t peg you to date a liar.”

“Didn’t peg you to be one who cares.”

“Girls,” Maria’s tone is hard and they both settle to fume quietly.

You can feel Kortni shifting at your side and you don’t think twice about resting a hand on her knee, calming her down. The table is silent for a beat and then Josh breaks it. “Are you really that good?” There is no malice in it, just honest curiosity.

“You can check my work badge if you’d like. I can also show you some articles the Daily Planet has on me and my research,” you say with a small smile. You like him and you don’t really want to be seen as liar in his eyes. You actually want him to know you’re real, are honest and care so much for Maggie.

His opinion of you matters so much it’ll hurt if he thinks like the rest of the family.

Josh whistles. He is sitting across you and the pride you see shining in his eyes is out of place, but so comforting. “That’s impressive, Miss Danvers!” His grin is genuine, making you relax. He approves of you. That’s all that matters here.

“Wait,” Rick, Dave’s oldest, suddenly says. You remember his name because there was a bully at your high school that was named like that and that sadly also looked like him. “Alex Danvers? As in, _the_ Alexandra Danvers?”

You blink and you feel the heat rushing to your cheeks again. “Y-Yeah?”

Rick smiles and that creeps you out. “Oh, man! Anne is gonna be so jealous I met you! She’s like, in love with you, dude. I met her a year ago and ever since she hasn’t stopped gushing about you. Alexandra Danvers published this, Alexandra Danvers invented that, Alexandra Danvers is finally accepting interns, Alexandra Danvers found the root of life.” You are pretty sure you are not responsible for that last one, but he keeps talking, freaking you out and making the eyes around you go wide. “She was so sad you left Gotham, she planned on transferring there this year to work with you. Now she’s pushing to go to National City, but you no longer teach, do you?”

Your throat closes a little with how dry it is. “Ah, no. No. I no longer teach. Say sorry to… Anne?”

Rick nods. “She’s my bae. She’s hella smart. You’re missing out on having her as your intern.”

That comment rubs you the wrong way. All your interns, all your ducklings, were handpicked from all over the country by you and your sponsors. They are the best in their fields. Now, you don’t believe yourself better than others, but the girl transferring to Gotham University didn’t mean you had to choose this Anne as an intern. She could be a marvelous mind, sure, but if she was planning on working with you next term, well, you should have known of an ‘Anne’ by now. “I’m sure I am. But, Devon O’Connor was left in charge of the team. He’s even better than me. If she wants to pursue going to Gotham, that’s the man she needs to see.”

You doubt Devon would accept her easily, but if she proves herself, she is indeed “hella smart”.

A fork clatters on a plate and Mary’s huff draws you to their side of the table. “Really? Now you want us to believe you featured in one of the country’s major papers?”

Maggie matches her huff and your grasp on Kortni’s knee tightens. “What’s your problem?” she asks at the table at large. “This isn’t the first time I bring someone and you’re all acting like jackasses again!”

“Jar!”

Your other hand goes to the back of Kara’s neck, squeezing softly. She is sitting between you and Maggie, looking confused at your action. _~Not now, baby,~_ you tell her, receiving weird looks from all around.

_~Mama?~_

_~Later, Kara.~_

“That,” Mary says. “That is my problem.”

Maggie’s hand clenches around a serving spoon. “Care to elaborate?”

“She comes here all mighty and high, wanting us to believe she is the best out there? Why can’t you find a nice man to live with, Margaret? Why do you always have to find strange women to date?”

Kortni tenses and you quickly put your hand on her neck, mimicking your hold on Kara. You squeeze softly at both of them, one in reassurance and one in warning. _~Not now.~_

“See that?” Mary keeps going. “She speaks to them in a language we don’t understand. They should be talking English!”

“Oh, you hypocrite!” Tony says then. “Ma used to talk to us in Spanish all the time!”

“Only when we were with family! In the company of others, she’d switch to English!”

“And, pray tell,” Maggie says deadly quietly, “why should Alex mind your stupid sensibilities when you are attacking her?”

“I’m not attacking her,” Mary says. “I’m just voicing what all we think. That she’s a fraud and you could do better.”

“Better?” Kara climbs onto your lap at Maggie’s hard tone and you know that she finally picked on the tension around. No one is eating and all eyes are on Maggie and you. None of the ‘kids’ say a word and, okay, you didn’t really bond with the younger generation of Maggie’s family, but some support would have been nice.

“There is no one better for Maggie than Alex,” Kortni says, using the staring match between Maggie and Mary to speak up. Your oldest is using her military voice, the one you first got to know back when she was simply Kara’s sister and not your daughter. “They are perfect for each other.”

Mary laughs a petty laugh and as much as you thought Maggie’s brothers were supportive of their baby sister, the fact that none – not even Maria – said something to that laugh, to her critics, makes you see that they share to some extent Mary’s thoughts. “She can’t even control her kid.” She turns to Kortni and you feel the anger in you start to rise. “Little girl, kids don’t talk when the adults are.”

“Leave her out of this,” you finally say. “She has the same right you do to be heard. Even when what you are saying is bullshit, we hear you. Kori can be heard too.”

You press down on Kortni’s neck when you feel her rising. The warning is clear and she settles down, glaring at Mary. You can’t see her, but you know that Kara is glaring too.

She didn’t call jar at your cursing, letting you know she got offended at Mary too.

“Really?” Maggie scoffs. “You are attacking our girl too. That’s just rich coming from you Mariana. That’s just rich.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“What? Mariana? That’s your name, dear sister.” She looks around the table, glaring at her brothers and their wives. “And you? Do you all agree with her?”

Bob coughs. “Well,” he says. “It is a little hard to believe she’s as amazing as you make her sound.”

“And she’s spoiling her kids,” Frances says, her eyes narrowed at the table in front of you and you know she’s referring to the food specially cooked for the girls. “They will grow to be right terrors, you don’t want to be around for that.”

Bob nods. “All our sons were raised with a firm hand and they are good members of the society.”

You notice most of the ‘sons’ look down and you have to bite your lip to stop talking. Maggie might not talk to them often, but she is the favorite aunt for a sole reason: she is the one they all call when they are in trouble.

Need to pay back a friend after they bailed them out? Call Aunt M.

Need to pay off a drug dealer that somehow threatened to contact their parents? Call Aunt M.

Need to pay that one gambling dude? Call Aunt M.

Need a signature so they are off the hook? Call Aunt M.

Now, distance’s always been an issue, but Maggie has always helped them hide their messes as best as she can. As far as you know they don’t make the same mistake twice, but they do make mistakes.

And you look at Josh, whose face is red and he is the only one glaring at the so-called ‘adults’. Josh is the one that has made the more mistakes and he knows it. He has cleaned his act and apparently, he took offense just like you did. “I think you’re speaking of my cousins, right Uncle Bob?”

Bob shakes his head. “That’s different.”

“Different how?” Maggie says. “I love Josh but I know he fucked up. He knows he fucked up.”

“You think I went to juvie for free coveralls and some male bonding, Uncle?” Josh shakes his head. “Don’t pull Kori into this. If your problem is Maggie, then say so.” He turns to your wife. “For anything that’s worth, I’m proud of you, Maggie. You found a beautiful family.”

If Maggie’s eyes suddenly fill with tears, no one mentions it.

“Well, I’m not,” Mary interrupts their moment. “Maggie can do better.”

Your wife sighs and you know the fight is over. “You won’t ever get it,” she says simply. “And you know what? I’m tired of trying to make you see reason. I give up. I will never be enough for you, for none of you. And that’s fine. I don’t need you. I got myself a family, a family that’s the best for me.”

She stands up and gathers Kara in her arms. _~Come on, you three. Let’s get out of here.~_

 _~Maggie?~_ You ignore the stares as you rise too. Your hand is still on Kortni’s neck and she shakes it off, going directly to Maggie, clutching at her shirt. _~What do you want us to do?~_

 _~Go upstairs, pack. There’s a motel in “_ Wymore” _. We can stay there tonight. Drive back tomorrow if we want.~_

You nod. It’s a good action plan as any and even when you had planned on staying around for two weeks, the almost week you’ve gotten here it’s been stressful for all of you.

You will go stay the night in the motel and tomorrow you will decide what to do.

You turn to Maria. “Thanks for the hospitality and the food, but we are going now.”

No one will ever accuse you of not being polite.

Maria’s eyes are wet as she nods. You feel bad for her, but she didn’t speak up for Maggie either.

Maggie is already headed to the door with the girls and you take the time to glare at all of them, except Josh. “Just so you know, Maggie is the best anyone can wish for. She’s the best police officer, she’s the best friend, the best sister, the best aunt and the best mother. She’s the kind of person I wish to be someday and she’s so full of love it marvels me.

“She is more than her roots and it amazes me she is so supportive after what I saw tonight. You are a mass of hypocrites and you don’t deserve her. She is always talking about how amazing her family is, how great it was to be raised on this farm, how she always looked up to her siblings… Now, I don’t think she lied, but I also think she cheated herself into believing that was true; because you, you are nothing like she believes you to be and you hurt her tonight.”

You smirk.

“But don’t worry, we will take care of her, our daughters and I. She’s the best wife and I’m so damn proud she chose to marry me.” Your smirk grows at their stunned silence. “So, I guess this was me meeting the in-laws. Thanks for Maggie. Rao gave me such a blessing in her. May his light ever show you the way.”

You head to the house, glad that Maggie wasn’t around to hear you.

You didn’t really get her permission to come clean, after all.

You just couldn’t help yourself.

“Wait!”

Josh comes after you before you can enter the house and he looks into your eyes. “You married Maggie?”

“Yes, I did.”

His smile is soft and saddened. “That’s good. That’s really good.” He looks behind him and you see Mary approaching. “Maggie has my number. Text me when you arrive wherever you plan on spending the night?”

You nod. “We will.”

“Thank you. Not only for the text but for everything. You make her happy. Thank you.”

You nod again and he turns around to face his mother, giving you the chance to slip into the house and join your family. You have to pack and you have to leave before this all gets more complicated.

XxXxX

“You told them we are married.”

You don’t feel any accusation from her, but even so, you nod timidly. “I couldn’t help myself. They needed to know how amazing you are.”

“And marrying you, makes me amazing?” Her words have no bite to them and are slurred with the whiskey you bought on the way to the motel after dinner. It was maybe not the wisest call, but Maggie was tense and you know a glass or two won’t affect her.

The girls are a room over, Kortni read the situation perfectly and she volunteered to watch over Kara while Maggie and you talk. Or rather, while you fuss over Maggie and Maggie tries to process everything.

“No,” you say honestly. “You are amazing in your own right. You just topped all your ‘fantastic-ness’ when you married me.”

Maggie snorts and you count that as a win. You are lying down next to one another, looking at the peeling ceiling as if it would give you the answers to the universe. The two servings of whiskey she drank are the only ones she allowed herself and you are glad. You know from experience Maggie is an easy drunk to look after, but you are far from home and you have your kids with you. You don’t want to risk anything going wrong.

“I love you, Alexandra Caroline Sawyer.”

You smile and you hear through the thin walls music playing. Apparently, Kara is teaching Kortni all about the Little Mermaid. “And I love you, Margaret Ellen Danvers.” You grab her hand in yours, still not looking at her. “Why are we exchanging full names?”

“I needed to remind myself that I still have a Sawyer in my corner.”

Oh.

“I will always be in your corner, Maggie. Always.” You don’t need to look at her to know the tears are already running down. “But, you also have Josh.”

She chuckles wetly. “Yeah, Josh.”

“He cares.”

“I know. But.”

“It’s complicated.”

“It’s complicated.”

You lapse into silence, hearing the TV from the room next door as background noise. You finally turn to Maggie. “What about S-?”

“Don’t.”

“Maggie-”

“I mean it, Alex. Don’t.”

You sigh. “Fine… I do love you, okay? And I’m not the only one.” You start tracing her brow as you do with Kara to help her relax.

Your wife echoes your sigh and closes her eyes. “I know. I know.”

A knock on your door makes you look away from Maggie. There are only two girls that would knock at this hour. “Come in,” you call.

Kortni pokes her head in the room. _~Kara is falling asleep,~_ she announces. _~But she doesn’t want to sleep alone.~_

You look over at Maggie, silently questioning on what you should do. You can either gather your girls and bring them back to sleep with you or you can go put Kara to sleep and then come back to Maggie, alone. You know Kortni will stay with Kara without any complain if Maggie decides she needs you for the night.

“Get her,” she says.

“Are you sure?”

Maggie nods as she sits up. Her cheeks are rosy and you know she won’t have trouble sleeping tonight. The nightmares will come after, once all the adrenaline is gone and she has had time to really process. “Yeah, I need my family with me right now.”

“Okay.” You turn to Kortni. “Hey, little star, can you help Maggie push the beds together? I don’t think we are going to fit in just one.”

Kortni nods and comes fully into the room. She has already changed into her new favorite pajamas, which are one of Maggie’s old t-shirts and a pair of boxers that Maggie got her the last time they went shopping.

Kortni is coming into her own style little by little and you love how she is comfortable around you two to really embrace it.  She prefers to wear clothes that don’t cover much skin, but she listens when you ask her to wear pants or long sleeves for whatever reason. You are pretty sure that she would wear sleeveless shirts and boxers all day if you let her.

You don’t know if that’s born out of her aversion of many fabrics or the feeling of the sun on her skin, but as long as she is happy and safe you don’t care how she dresses.

As Kortni and Maggie push the two full beds together to build a gigantic mattress, you go pick Kara up from the other room. You find her in her pajamas, her favorite puppy onesie, and with dried toothpaste at the corner of her lips. It looks like Kortni helped her get ready for bed and by how sleepy she looks and how she is already sucking her thumb, you know Kortni waited until the very last moment to come get you.

Kara looks ready to drop dead.

“Hey, baby. Ready to sleep?” Instead of answering, she simply raises her free arm to you, making a grabby hand.

You’d be worried she sometimes acts like a kid half her age – you have been worried about it before, with your parents’ deaths – but Harley helped ease your mind, telling you she is simply soothing herself and that as long as she can be eased into social life later on and she can learn to fend for herself, then she would be fine.

It is difficult right now to set Kara in social circumstances, but before the kidnapping, she went to school easily, even when she hated it. She’s proven she can deal with people her age and she also demonstrated she can keep herself safe in a threatening situation. Before the kidnapping, she used to feed herself if needed and her bedtime ritual was more of an excuse to spend time together than something she actually needed. She stopped sucking her thumb when she was five and started again after the accident, so that doesn’t bother you either.

So, she took three steps back and she is barely starting to walk forwards again, but she is getting her footing back and you will keep helping her help herself.

“Goodnight, baby,” you whisper against her temple the moment she is in your arms. You know she won’t last the short trip to your room.

Kara makes a cooing sound and hides her nose on your neck. You pat her butt gently, just like when she was a baby as you walk. You make sure to grab the room’s key and leave to join your family.

Kortni is already under the covers with Maggie and you smile at how your girl is resting her cheek on Maggie’s chest. Your wife is combing her short hair with her fingers and they both have their eyes closed. When you come near them Maggie cracks an eye open.

“She’s out,” she murmurs.

You nod, arranging Kara’s sleeping form next to Kortni. You didn’t notice the hour, but you guess it’s really late for the girls to fall asleep so quickly.

You change in silence and turn off the lights while cranking up the AC. You slid into the bed, but not next to Kara like you usually would, but next to Maggie, embracing her to you as best as you can without upsetting Kortni. “What are we doing tomorrow?”

She shifts, easily dislodging the girl from her. You don’t need to see to know that she turns Kortni so she can cuddle with her sister. Once that’s done, she turns fully to you, hiding her face on your chest. “I don’t know,” she confesses. “I want to leave, but I also want to stay.”

“Our tickets are for next week… we can stay, hang around and visit in a day or two.”

“I want to see Charlie. She has a baby boy now. I want to meet him.”

“Then we stay around, see if your family wants to contact us before the big weekend.”

Maggie snorts, prompting a chain reaction of whines from the girls. You wince and you both wait for a moment to see if you have woken them up. The moment you know they are still out, she continues. “I don’t think my family cares.”

You remember the mixture of shock, pain, and regret that you saw on the faces at the table while you spoke to them. You remember the tears running down Maria’s cheeks and the flushed anger on Frances’. You remember the shame on Tony’s eyes and the sadness on Josh’s. And above all, you remember the pain and guilt reflected in Mary’s all being.

You don’t know if you should mention that to Maggie.

“They care, Mags, they care.”

“They have a shitty way to show it.”

“’ar.”

You bite your lip to cage the laughter that threatens to escape as Maggie groans lowly. “Really?”

“Kara loves policing you, love. I don’t make the fucking rules.”

“…”

“She never cries jar with you,” Maggie complains after you both know Kara won’t demand money from you.

“She does it plenty when she is awake.”

“That’s because you curse like a sailor.”

You snort too, but you make sure it’s quiet enough not to disturb the sleeping kids. “I’ve gotten better, you smart ass.”

“…”

“That’s fucking rude, Kara,” Maggie slurs.

“… ’ar…”

Maggie groans again and wiggles her face against your boobs. “Sleep time,” she proclaims.

You kiss her hair, inhaling her clean smell. The smell of home. “I love you, Maggie. With all my heart.”

You feel her smile against your breasts. “I, the one, swear to you, the only, to never stop, to never cease loving you. I swear to you, light in my darkness, to never let you go. To always love you.”

The way she solemnly quotes to you Rao’s promise of love to Cythonna brings tears to your eyes. You kiss her hair again, suddenly so moved that you can’t help it. “I never told you what she answered, did I?” you choose to ask her instead of succumbing to your tears.

“No.”

_~And I, the only, swear to you, the one, to cherish you, to adore you. I swear to you, my guiding light, to forever serve you, to forever help you. To forever love you.~_

The tears come unbidden, you can feel them running down your cheeks… you can feel them soaking up your t-shirt.

“I love you, I love you, I love you. With all my heart, Maggie. I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Good evening y'all!_
> 
> _Have I mentioned how much I love Kate and Alex's relationship? They are so cute, the best sisters ever._
> 
> _And it makes me glad that we all hate Mary. How dare she, right?_  
>     
>  _Now, I don't like most of Maggie's family either. With the exception of Josh, Jessica, and Sarah._
> 
>  _Kori and Jess sitting in the tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Kori x Jess 2k17!_ (A/N: She's too young!!! Let her be a kid!!!)
> 
> _I really, really dislike Maggie's family._  
>  And any "The Golden Girls" fan will catch the quote. *winks*  
> Poor Maggie, she broke my heart, but thank God she has her own family that loves her no matter what.
> 
> _YOU GO ALEX!!! ALEX!!! ALEX!!! ALEX!!!_
> 
> _“Why are we exchanging full names?”_
> 
> _“I needed to remind myself that I still have a Sawyer in my corner.”_
> 
> _*Hands Char a knife.* Here stab me in my heart it would hurt less..._
> 
> _And LOL! at little Kara saying "Jar" only to her Mommy._
> 
> _Once again forgive if there are any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes._
> 
> _Chapter 32: Ready._  
>  Chapter 33: 70% ready and I will finish it today if the power doesn't go out again.  
> Chapter 34: I just got it today. But hoping to start editing today.  
> Chapter 35: Is in the works. 
> 
> Guys, I have a quest for you, and, for whomever wins, this is the prize: 
> 
> A one shot of any pairing in the Supergirl fandom. Tell me what you want to see and I'll do it. From the fluffiest fluff to the angstiest angst to the smutty smut.
> 
> What you need to do for this to be won?
> 
> Tell me what Alex said to Kate when she spoke in code and/or tell me where that code comes from.
> 
> That's it. 
> 
> Any takers?
> 
> * * *
> 
> Maggie's family:
> 
> Maria – Ma (68)
> 
> Robert – Pops (deceased) 
> 
> Robert Jr. – Bob (oldest brother) (49)  
> Architect, married to Sheila: sons Bobby (24), Todd (21) and James (20).
> 
> David – Dave (second brother) (49)  
> Lawyer, married to Frances: sons Rick (22) and Dan (20).
> 
> Antonio – Tony (fav brother) (46)  
> Marine engineer, married to Susan.
> 
> Mariana – Mary (Lovely referred as the Triple W, AKA, Wicked Witch of the West) (42)  
> Manager, divorced, son: Josh (24). 
> 
> Margaret – our Maggie  
> Lost Boys currently in the house- Jessica and Sarah Cruz


	32. Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Humans are strange and stupid.
> 
> That’s the only conclusion you can reach.
> 
> Well, maybe not all humans, but as a whole, they are.
> 
> Or the one where Kori gets a cute nickname and the beta is a nervous wreck and is praying not to mess up the first time she uploads something to this site. Especially if it is "Kismet" related.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Checks playlist.* *Searches for "I've got the power!" by Snap.* *Finds it.* *Plays it.* *Evil laughter.*  
> Good evening. *Imitates Alfred Hitchcock.*  
> Hello, beautiful faithful readers, casual readers, people that are reading Kismet for the very first time and everyone in general.  
> I've got the privilege of posting chapter 32 of "Kismet." And I'm very nervous, but here I am.  
> And I do not know what to say so, here's a message from Char,  
> "Hey, guys!!! I'm currently not really around (exams and life and stupid hormones), so the wonderful beta is gonna be uploading today!!!  
> Go bother her @Reinakonanofate so she can feel the love." 
> 
> Please enjoy this chapter as much as I did when I was editing this wonderful chapter. And know that there is a reason for everything and there is a reason of why the characters behave a certain way. Everything will be revealed in the coming chapters. Trust us. 
> 
> And having the power is not so bad. *More evil laughter.* I might run away with "Kismet." and protect the family from any drama. (And yes, I am aware that some of the drama is my fault.)
> 
> *Singing.* I've got the power! 
> 
> Before I forget, go read this [Their first time.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12163308)

Humans are strange and stupid.

That’s the only conclusion you can reach.

Well, maybe not all humans, but as a whole, they are.

The days you spent at the ‘farm’ were weird, but nice. You got to know that the routine Alex and Maggie got you used to is not the norm for all humans. You  learnt that there are much more chores to do than what Alex assigned you and that there are so many different things to do to care for animals. You also learnt that familial interactions are different from what they have shown you so far.

Maggie’s family made sure to show you that. 

Looking back, you feel dumb. You made the presumption that all humans are the same and they think alike, and they are like Maggie, and Alex. The meeting with the one they call Wonder Woman feels like it happened so long ago that it’s no longer on your mind and for forgetting most of it, you feel dumber still.

You were shown and taught that humans have other gods, other beliefs, and other habits; yet Alex and Maggie, the way they act, the way they live, lulled you into a sense of familiarity that, while not quite exactly what you grew up with, was relaxing enough that you stopped thinking about it.

It was until Kate and Renee came around for your Name Day that you were reminded that Rao is not followed by humans and that the only ones that follow his light in this planet are Alex, Maggie, Kara and, you think, Kal-El. You know for a fact that Maggie is still learning and that Alex was the one to teach Kara and now Maggie. If you didn’t know any better, you would think that Alex was taught in the Religious Guild with how well she knows of Rao and his teachings, but now you know that she simply reads a lot and that the reading material she had the most of was Rao’s guidelines and archaic story logs.

So, when Maria insisted to say grace before every meal, you were a little too confused and Alex had to take you aside after that first time to explain to you as much as she could about Christianity. You didn’t get it, you still don’t get it, but Alex’s warning about not judging and letting people believe whatever they want came to your mind and you obediently sat while they said grace and then Alex, Kara, Maggie and you elevated your own prayers silently to Rao.

But that was not the only thing that Maggie’s family did that was so different from what you were used to.

Father and Mother were females. Alex and Maggie are females. Father used to work all day in the Science Guild, but she would take periods of time to work from home in her study. Alex is like that too, she and Maggie are off work right now, but even so, Alex works in her study almost every day. Maggie, like Mother, doesn’t work from home, but you know work is constantly in her mind, just like work was in Mother’s mind. 

Watching the news with Maggie has become something of a thing you do together every night before dinner while Alex and Kara prepare the food. You know that Maggie works in something similar to the Guard back at home, and so it makes sense to you that she keeps up with what’s happening in terms of violence and crime. The first time you saw Maggie getting worked up by something you watched on TV, she immediately called her partner and you spent the next thirty minutes eavesdropping a really fascinating conversation she held with Karen regarding the battered kid and his missing attacker.

Maggie, like Mother, constantly keeps tabs on the occurrences of the world, and just as often, gets upset about the injustices she sees. So, like Mother, her work is never far from her mind.

Both, Alex and Maggie are both females, just like Father and Mother were, they both do everything and anything. You helped Maggie hang Kara’s baby drawings after you helped Alex frame them, just like you used to help Mother fix the glider and helped Father clean the ballroom before a party. Alex cooks, but so does Maggie. Maggie waters the plants, but so does Alex. Father used to clean, but so did Mother, just like Mother used to teach you history, and so did Father.

But, in Maria’s home, the chores were divided into what she deemed appropriate for males and females. Josh is in charge of taking the cows to the milking station every morning and he can’t put a foot in the kitchen unless he is going to eat, Maria caught him making himself some food and he got scolded for it. Jessica, on the other hand, enjoys driving the tractor and took you for a ride shortly into your stay, but Maria, again, proclaimed that was not something a lady did.

Alex tried to help fix the fence too, helping one of the boys that work on the farm, but Maria practically chased her off with a rolled-up newspaper. Tony, Maggie’s brother, also tried his hand feeding the chickens with Kara and you, only to be told that was a girl’s job and that he was more useful at helping by cleaning the stalls.

The only thing you saw Maria don’t fret about was Kara’s helping with the afternoon milking, but you think that’s because Kara spent the time petting the cows rather than helping out.

So, yes, chores and religion are two things you found different in the farm, but you obeyed Alex and adapted as best as you could.

Jess was amazing helping you adapt and you are going to miss her. She spent her free time with you and you think you have learned much more from her about this place’s history and customs than you have learned with the laptop Maggie and Alex gave you for your Name Day.

Your Name Day is another thing that made you fall into that sense of familiarity and security that Maggie’s family so easily showed you were not the norm.

Back in Krypton, you had to think about the others before you thought of you. You were the heir of the Houses of Ze and Lar and as such; you needed to be the best Head of House you could be, for Kara and Kal-El and for whatever other kids fell under your protection. The bastard status Kal-El had back at home, with him being born out the chambers and without the council’s permission, made you the rightful heir of the House of El unless Zor-El finally decided to ask for a kid and added to the heavy weight you were to bear one you reached maturity.

Being in the Military Guild also meant being under close inspection all the time and under harsh comparisons all the time. You learnt to defer to your betters, to follow their orders and to be the best you could be. Your goal was to be the next best General, but that goal would have been moot the moment you were called to fulfill your Head duties. Even so, you always thrived to be the best and to make your family proud.

But Alex and Maggie… Alex and Maggie let you dictate what you want, what you need. They encourage you sometimes, yes, but they also let you be. When you felt panicky because you think Kara is suffering because you think Kara wants to do something, because you think Kara needs something from you, they always take you to the side and have long talks with you about how you are your own person, and that you shouldn’t bear Kara’s needs with you. 

When you feel like they won’t approve of something you do, when you want to try something, and you don’t know how to ask, when you feel like you don’t know how to work something, they always seem to feel your despair and they help you out in the best way they can and they, again, remind you to stop thinking about others and to focus on you.

They ask you to talk to them, to share your thoughts and sometimes is hard, sometimes it’s really hard, but Alex and Maggie are patient and they always let you be physically near them while you work out how to voice your turmoil.

But on the farm, on the farm Maria’s word is law and you learnt when Maggie’s siblings arrived they showed what you always trained yourself not to be: completely selfish and with no regard to others.

You talked to Alex the afternoon after you left the farm, while Maggie and Kara were out getting pizza, why would they want you to be selfish when selfish people just hurt Maggie. It didn’t make sense, even when being selfish was liberating and made you really happy most of the time.

Her response will never leave you.

_~Kori, there is a difference between being selfish and looking out for yourself. You, little star, are a wonderful soul and an amazing girl. You care for others, for Kara, for Maggie, for me, and you care so much; that you sometimes forget you need to care for yourself too. Maggie’s relatives, they only care for themselves and they don’t know how to care for others. You are not selfish for wanting things for yourself, for wanting to be happy, and you and I both know that you like to share that happiness around. Maggie’s family is different there, they want to be happy, but they hoard that happiness and that’s why they make other people miserable.~_

_~But, what if I become like them? What if I focus so much on my happiness I forget that other people should be happy too?~_

_~I really doubt that will ever happen, little star, you are too pure to be like them. But, if you are worried about it, don’t. I plan on being around long enough to set you straight if you start acting like them. You will never be too old to be put over my knee.~_

Her slight threat and her unmistakable faith in you calmed you down considerably. It also filled your chest with something you can’t really describe, but that you want to feel again, soon.

You still hurt for Maggie, though, her family is awful.

Well, most of it is awful.

You didn’t mean to, but you couldn’t help but over hear what Josh told Alex after Maggie, Kara and you left. You couldn’t hear how, somehow, Josh’s voice towards Alex was all softness and all heartfelt gratitude.

You also couldn’t help, but hear how as Alex joined you to pack the bags, Josh yelled at his family, at his mother, about how they all treat Maggie like dirt and how they never saw how amazing she is.

He told them that she was too old to be considered as one of the kids but too young to be taken into account like one of the adults and that as long as he could remember, that was the way they always acted around her. One moment she was too naive to be heard, to be respected, and the other, she was too old so she should know better, should set a better example for the kids.

You don’t know why he kept referring to himself and his cousins as kids. As far as you know he is just two Name Days younger than Maggie, but then again, you are practically of age and Alex and Maggie still call you a kid too.

Jess texted you late that night, asking if you were okay. Texting came easily to you when Jess discovered that you still don’t know the proper code and she started messaging you complete sentences instead of her usual numbers and odd faces. You have kept in contact with her that way and so far, Josh is still mad at the family, Mary is missing in action and the rest of Maggie’s brothers are feigning innocence. Maria is constantly in tears and Josh, Sarah and Jessica spent the most time they can outside the farm.

If you made Kara cry like you know they made Maggie cry, you would be devastated; you were devastated when you fought with Kara before coming here once the anger passed. Maybe they need the anger to fade too?

No. You don’t think that’s the case. Jess said the only one angry is Josh. And you know Josh phoned Maggie yesterday.

You didn’t eavesdrop that conversation, though. You felt dirty when that thought crossed your mind, so you put your earplugs on and kept watching the movie with Kara and Alex. But, from what you couldn’t help but hear, Maggie is grateful Josh supports her but she doesn’t want to cause him any trouble.

Josh likes her, he even smells so like her and like Mary that you know they should be closer than what they are right now. And maybe that’s the real problem. They should be close, their scent indicates so, but they aren’t, and they don’t know how to be together.

Humans are weird. Alex says talking is the best answer for anything, but Maggie and her family don’t talk. Maggie says communication is the key, but you get the feeling she is not communicating enough, that she is not willing to.

Humans are also stupid. They could simply agree to disagree and be done with it. Be practical, like Jor-El and Aunt Astra, who hated each other a little, but they were family and thus cordial and they cared enough to defend the other against the rest of Krypton.

But, they, the humans are also a little fun.

Especially when, like now, you get to eat sugar clouds and you get to help put a smile on Maggie’s face after days of gloom.

XxXxX

_~I want to ride that.~_

Alex looks at where your sister is pointing, and she shakes her head. She is smiling when she looks down at Kara, though. _~You will make yourself sick, baby. You don’t want that, do you?~_

_~But it looks fun!~_

You look at the ride Kara wants to try, and you agree with Kara. It looks like fun. It’s tall and as you watch, a little cage goes up and up and up and then it’s dropped, making the people inside scream in fright and delight. _~Can we, Alex?~_

Alex looks at you with a raised eyebrow and a clear look that says you are not helping her case.

You smile up at her as cutely as you have seen Kara do on occasion.

Alex groans.

_~Fine, you two,~_ she relents. _~But you just ate some_ “cotton candy” _so we will come back in an hour.~_

_~But Mama!~_ She is holding both of your hands, and she uses her body weight to try to drag you near the line for the ride. Nor Alex or you move one inch.

_~Kara, you want to ride it, we can try. But not right now. I don’t want you to throw up.~_

You swing your interwoven hands in between you, dragging her attention to you. ~We will be back later, Sunny. I will make sure Alex remembers.~ You can understand that Alex doesn’t want to deal with the mess if Kara ends up vomiting – the ride looks too tame for you to get sick – but you also know that is not the only reason she won’t let you ride it.

If Kara gets sick, then you will have to leave. Kara and feeling off are not two things that mix well. There has been lots of tears and a fussy Kara and you have come to learn to read your sister and respect Alex’s system to deal with her and her moods.

You will make sure to don’t remind Alex about this ride until you think you are all ready to leave. That way, if Kara does get sick, the whole day won’t be ruined.

_~Mama?~_

_~Yes, love?~_

_~I want Mommy.~_

You frown at that. Maggie is taking too long. She went back to the car to fetch your snapbacks and Alex’s beach hat. The sun here is not bothersome for you and Kara, in fact, it feels amazing, but it’s a little too bright for your eyes and Alex’s nose and neck are getting too red in the half an hour you have been walking among the vendors.

Alex looks up from the knickknacks she was browsing. _~She probably can’t find us.~_

You look around too. The place not being too busy it’s the only reason Maggie and Alex decided you could stop here for the day.

The last days, after leaving Maggie’s family land has been spent in Lincoln, visiting the museums and enjoying the sights. Just yesterday you spent the day at the zoo and sunken gardens, where Maggie, Kara and you played some soccer, a sport you have come to realize Kate and Maggie are obsessed about.

Today, though, you were making your way to Omaha, to keep visiting museums, they said, but Maggie chose to make the day more entertaining by choosing to follow the “back roads” as Alex put it. And that’s how you found this little fair.

Apparently, this kind of thing is common around here.

_~I can find her,~_ you tell Alex.

She shakes her head. _~No, love. I don’t want you to get lost.~_

It’s your time to shake your head too. _~If you stay in this area I will find you easily.~_

You would ask her to call Maggie to find you, or even, you would call her yourself, but Maggie said today you will be disconnected from the world and that means no cell phones.

Josh, Renee, and Karen text Maggie constantly. Kate and Devon text Alex non-stop; Kate likes to call every two hours. Jess texts you every ten minutes and even Kate sends you a message every so often: she is teaching you all about the USWNT, and she likes to send you trivia at the most random times.

That is why there is always a phone buzzing or chirping at all times. Hence, today, no cell phones.

You are in the part of the fair where they sell useless stuff – Maggie’s words – but Alex said you needed to kill time somehow before the rodeo starts. Going through the corn maze would take too long so the vendors are what they decided to do, until the main show.

Many of the things you are going to do today are alien to you, but then again, most of the things you have been doing so far have been alien to you to some extent or other.

_~I mean it, I can find my way around easily. I won’t get lost.~_

Alex’s brow furrows and you know what she is thinking. Maggie couldn’t get lost, not with her training and with her sense of navigation. The place is big, sure, but you haven’t moved around that much, and it’s really not that crowded. 

Whatever is holding Maggie up is not her inability to find you.

_~You can stay with Kara and I will bring Maggie.~_

Alex sighs. She won’t let you stay with Kara alone, but that’s not because she doesn’t trust you with your sister, no. Alex and Maggie have let you be with Kara on your own several times ever since your Name Day, be it in the house or outside. They have shown you they trust you with your sister’s safety and that the choices you make regarding your baby sister and you are sound.

(Yesterday your sister wanted ice-cream, and Maggie and Alex were back at the garden’s store, buying some seeds for Pam, so you were left with a whining Kara. They were really impressed with how you managed to convince Kara to only eat one scoop of chocolate goodness so she didn’t ruin her appetite.

You would never think you will grow immune to Kara’s pout, but maybe the fact they didn’t have chocolate vegan ice-cream helped you say, “no” to her.)

No, lack of trust is not the issue.

Alex doesn’t want you to stay with Kara today because your sister has been a right terror since the morning. 

She has been whining and she has been a little on the angry side. Maybe it is because there was no  _strawberry jam_ in the hotel for her  _toast_ , or maybe it’s because Alex took too long to strap your sister to her back and Kara got too impatient, or maybe Alex’s  _phone_ ringing too loudly and startling you all awake made her wake up cranky, or maybe she misses our home. 

Alex and Maggie feared Kara was doubting reality again, but the way she pushed you away after breakfast and how she refused to hold Alex hand for ten minutes before coming into the  _fair,_ made it obvious that is not the case.

Whatever the reason is, Maggie and Alex decided that maybe the fair not only would teach you some more  _human_ and make Kara relax.

The long ride to Omaha was going to help with relaxing Kara, after all.

Alex’s heavy eyes on you soften and you know she is going to let you have another moment of complete freedom.

(The rules they gave you say you can leave the house and wander around the city as long as you get home before your curfew, but so far that’s a rule you haven’t tried and that you know makes Alex uncomfortable, even if she would respect it if you chose to get to know the city on your own.

If you would have to use words to describe Alex, overprotective and worrisome would fall short.)

_~Come here,~_ she orders you gently. 

You don’t let go of Kara’s hand, but go to stand by her side practically trapping your sister in between you two. 

You watch as Alex let go of Kara and your sister’s eyes widen.  _~Mama, no!~_ she says, dropping your hand and launching to Alex.  _~Don’t go!~_

Alex’s fingers comb through Kara’s hair.  _~I’m not going anywhere, Kara. I just need my hand.~_

Kara doesn’t let go of her, clutching Alex’s  _shorts_ with one needy hand. You frown when you notice she is sucking her thumb, though.

Alex, however, just sighs and takes her hand from Kara’s hair. She quickly undoes the strap of the _watch_ she always wears. _~Hand.~_ She offers her upturned free palm to you.

Confused, you obey. Your eyes widen as Kara’s did when she straps the  _watch_ to your wrist.  _~Ten minutes, Kortni Zor-El~_ she says, pointing to the  _hands_ and numbers on its face.  _~If you don’t find her in ten minutes, you come back immediately.~_

You nod. You have come to know that the more names she uses, the more serious she is.  _~Yes, Alex.~_

_~Go.~_

You nod again and turn to leave, not before seeing that, Alex picks Kara to her hip and starts talking to her softly.

Hopefully, by the time you are back with Maggie, your sister has calmed down considerably.

XxXxX

Finding Maggie is stupidly easy.

Approaching her, however, ends being so much more difficult.

She is near the fair’s entrance. She is donning a  _straw hat_ that Alex got her as a joke and she is holding the  _snapbacks_ and Alex’s  _beach hat_ in her hands. She is also shouldering Kara’s backpack, and you know you will end up using its contents long before the day ends.

Maggie is chatting with a tall, blonde woman and the big smile on Maggie’s face makes the  _cotton candy_ churn in your stomach. She is talking with her hands, something you have come to relate to her being excited, and the light cramping on your stomach suddenly gets overwhelming.

“Mags! You haven’t changed!” The leggy blonde laugh is so fake your ears rattle. Also, she called her Mags, only your family can do that. 

Your brain comes to a total stop when that thought crosses your mind, and you blank out.

Gone are the fair sounds and the too bright sunlight.

Gone are the sweet smell of  _candy apples_ and  _cotton candy._

Gone are the chatter before you and the wind caressing your skin.

Gone are your words in your brain and now your feelings are in complete disarray.

You forget to breathe; your heart comes to a shuddering stop, and you sway in place.

And, suddenly, you gasp. And you blink. And your heart is in overdrive.

The last thing you remember is leaving Kara and Alex and coming look for Maggie. You don’t remember how is that, you crossed the fair to its entrance or how you found Maggie.

Maggie who is standing next to a tall blonde with a really big smile on her face that bothers you and that is looking at you with a happy spark in her eyes.

“Kortni!” she calls you and her smile widens. “Come meet Martha!”

You shuffle to her, dizzy out and confused.

Maggie frowns. “Hey, are you okay?” Her hand comes to rest on the back of your neck, massaging gently.

You nod, but your eyes can’t seem to settle on a single spot and you feel sweat in your forehead.  _~Y-Yes.~_ You cough, your throat feels awfully dry. “Yes,” you say more firmly.

Maggie’s hand keeps its slight caress, and her frown barely lessens, but she nods back. “Okay,” she relents, a little dubious, but you are glad she is not pushing you right now. She tilts her head to the blonde. “This is Martha. We went to school together.”

You nod, turning to the other woman. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” you say as politely as you can. Your voice sounds so far away, and you have to blink to bring the woman into focus.

“Hello, there,” the woman’s smile is too white, too big. It bothers you. And it bothers you even more that she turns away from you to keep addressing Maggie. “I didn’t know your family kept taking in strays!”

You frown, not quite getting what she means, but the way Maggie stiffens doesn’t sit well with you. “Yeah, Ma still fosters kids. But, this one is mine.”

Martha – that’s her name, right? – blinks stupidly at that. “Yours?”

Maggie’s proud smile eases your beating heart a little, and the safe pressure of her hand on your neck keeps you grounded. “She came to live with us a little over a month, right, Snugglebunny?”

The way she calls you baffles you greatly and by how Martha startles, you are not the only one. Still, the other woman fixes a smile and asks, “Oh, with you? As in, you live with someone?”

Maggie nods. “Yeah, the wife and I have Kortni here and Kara, our youngest.”

“Oh.” Martha’s smile disappears at that. “That’s nice.”

The air feels stilled, and Maggie turns to you then. “You needed me for something, Snugglebunny?” 

“You were taking too long to come back.”

Maggie looks at something behind you, and you wonder what is she looking for. You crane your neck, hoping to see whatever she is looking for. “Where are your sister and your Mama?”

You look back to her. “They are waiting near an old lady selling bracelets.” Just then, you remembered you had ten minutes to find Maggie. You look down to Alex’s watch, and Rao is merciful, you have a minute left. “She is worried. I had ten minutes to find you.”

Maggie’s eyes widen at that. “And how long do we have.”

“A minute.”

Maggie turns to Martha and smiles. “I’m sorry, but when the missus beckon, we have to go. It was nice seeing you, Martha. We will keep in touch!” Her hand is still in your neck, so she easily herds you away. “Say bye, Kori.”

“Bye, Martha,” you call, even when Maggie’s hand won’t let you turn to face her. However, the last thing she told Martha bothers you. Once you are a little away from her, you ask Maggie. “You will keep in touch with her?”

Maggie laughs. “Oh, Rao, no. I never gave her my info!”

And you smile. 

You really don’t want “Big Teeth” Martha around.

XxXxX

You ended up leaving the  _fair_ soon after you get back with Maggie. Kara is not better than she was before and Alex when saw you she immediately knew there was something wrong with you too. She is not like Maggie and wouldn’t let you brush off your sickness; because, yes, you suddenly felt sick and you didn’t want to be in the sun and among the noises anymore. 

You tried to protest, you really did. You didn’t want Maggie and Alex to miss all the fun, and you were more than able to stay with Kara in the car, napping. But, just like it has been happening lately, Alex raised an eyebrow at you and you felt yourself shrink a little and did as she told you.

Alex and her raised eyebrow is what often makes you do things without protesting. Maggie always talks to you and makes you deals, and sometimes bribes you into doing stuff you want to do, but feel like you can’t, Alex just has to raise an eyebrow at you and you would let her dictate what you are doing.

It’s refreshing, if you are honest, not having to over think repercussions and variants and simply obey. 

She doesn’t do it often, no, but for the last handful of days, she has been doing it more and more. Maybe it had to do with how much she is stressing – you have noticed that she barely eats – or with her not wanting more things to concern herself with – Maggie is sad, really sad, and Kara has been acting up randomly – so you are more than happy to be one less worry for her.

Most of the time.

“Kori…” Alex warns you, again and her eyebrow is high on her forehead.

~ _This is stupid,~_ you repeat. You are not sulking, you are not, but damn if this is, indeed stupid.

~ _I know. Still, you are coming,~_ she says unamused and you frown.

_~I thought I was no prisoner? ~_

She tenses at that and you feel a pang of remorse for putting such pain in her eyes. _~You are right. I’m sorry. We have no right to force you, but Maggie and I need to go and I don’t think you want to deal with Kara today.~_

No. You don’t want to deal with Kara today. She has been as fussy as that day at the  _fair_ and you know it has to do with what you are doing today.

_~Maggie shouldn’t want to go back to the_ “farm.”

“No, she shouldn’t.” Alex agrees, raising from her spot beside you on the bed. “But she wants to, and I have to support her. And we are taking Kara with us. You can stay here, but I ask you to have your phone with you at all times. We are going to be at least two hours away, so please, be careful.”

You can see how hard this is getting for her and you sigh. You really don’t like to cause her any trouble. “I don’t like them.”

“And that’s okay. We will leave as soon as Maggie and Kara are back.” Alex is now going through her bag. “I will leave you money for lunch… are you planning on staying here or are you going out?”

You look around the hotel room you share with Kara, well, mostly. More nights you end up sleeping with Alex and Maggie, but when you don’t, you cuddle up with Kara in this room. The  _TV_ is on and so low that you know Alex can’t hear it and the beds are unmade. 

It’s early, and Maggie took Kara grocery shopping in the hopes that the drive and promise of candy and apples calm her down before she is trapped inside the car for two hours. You were asked if you wanted to go, but really, you just wanted to sleep a little bit more not that this conversation with Alex left you any chance to sleep, though.

“I’m staying in,” you tell her softly.

“Okay.” The way her shoulders lose some their tension gnaws at your belly.

_~Why do you want me to go?~_

Alex turns to you, some bills on hand. She leaves the money on the bedside table and comes and sits next to you again. It’s almost instinctual how her arm rests on your shoulders, and you drop your head against her.  _~I don’t want to leave you alone.~_

_~But I can take care of myself.~_

You can hear her words in your mind even before she conveys them. They have been telling you this over and over again.  _~That doesn’t mean you have to.~_

_~I’m used to being alone,~_ you remind her.

_~No one really gets used to being alone, little star.~_

She is not wrong. Right now, now that you know you are staying, the thought of being alone bothers you a little. If Kara was to stay you would entertain yourself making sure that she is doing and happy. But if you stay in the hotel today, then you would be stuck watching  _TV_ or studying in the  _laptop_ they gave you for your Name Day. You have already read the books you brought to the trip, and you don’t really want to walk around today.

You feel like being a little lazy if you are honest with yourself.

_~Why don’t_ _**you** _ _want to go?~_

You shrug.  _~I really don’t like them.~_

_~You like Jess, though.~_

_~Jess and Sarah are spending the weekend camping, to flee the madness.~_

“Oh.” Alex chuckles. _~You don’t want to go because Jess isn’t going to be there.~_

You shrug again. Maybe. But mostly,  _~I really don’t like them, they don’t treat Maggie right.~_

Alex sighs and you close your eyes when her fingers start playing with your hair. You are used now to its shortness and it feels nice to not worry about drying it and combing it after your  _showers_ . “I know… but they are her family.”

“Family shouldn’t treat her like that.”

“No. They shouldn’t.”

You lapse into silence for a while. Alex is content playing with your hair, and you wonder what she is thinking about. 

“Alex?”

“Mmm?”

“I don’t understand.” She stops playing with your hair, and you open your eyes to see her looking at you, the question clear in her face. “Why?”

“Why what, love?”

“Why don’t they love her if they are her family?”

Alex sighs.  _~They love her, Kori. They just wish she was living her life differently than how she is living her life now.~_

You frown.  _~And why didn’t she do as her family wanted? Shouldn’t she respect her family’s wishes?~_

_~… Sometimes, to be happy, you need to ignore your family.~_

You push away from her, so you can see her in the eye.  _~That’s wrong.~_

She shifts so she is leaning against the headboard and beckons you close to her again. You don’t move, and she sighs.  _~It’s the way it is. Here, we-~_ she sighs again, looking up and you get the feeling this topic is too complicated for her.  _~Let me tell you a story, okay?~_

You nod, and this time, when she reaches a hand to you, you crawl next to her and let her hug you to her side so you are cuddling close.

You think this closeness is more for her sake than yours.

_~Some year ago a baby was born. She was so little and so frail doctors said she wouldn’t survive the night. She was born so early and in such a bad shape that she spent months in a hospital, every new day was a miracle for her. The parents, once they knew the baby was going to be staying there, left her and went on about their lives, not really caring if the baby survived or not.~_

_~That’s wrong.~_

Alex chuckles, and it is hollow and sad.  _~That’s how humans are. After a long while, it was determined that she could go home if the parents took special care of her. The parents weren’t too happy, you know? They thought they would lead normal lives with a baby – like they were supposed to – and with jobs and prestige, just like they were all their lives told to do. So, they took the advice from one of their own parents, and left the baby a couple of months more in the hospital, to make sure the baby survived but also making sure they wouldn’t be the ones taking care of her._

_~When the baby was out, she was almost a year old. The nurses there took care of her for the longest of time, they taught her how to speak, how to walk, how to go the bathroom on her own, they were the ones that named the baby, too. They named her after one of the greatest men in our history, the Great Defender of Men, one of the most powerful generals of his time. Such a brave and strong baby, they said, should have a brave and strong name, I’m not really sure why the nurses were so good to her, but I know the baby came back twice a year to have medical checkups and to say “hi” to her first friends._

_~But, I’m getting sidetracked. Once the baby was released, she went to live with her parents, strangers that were her family but didn’t really care although, they cared. They cared that the neighbors saw them walking and playing with the baby, they cared that the baby was enrolled in school early, they cared that the baby had good manners, good grades, the best attitude towards others, they cared that the baby, and later, girl, was the best because they thought they were the best, and they deserved the best daughter._

~And the girl learnt that in order to have a hug, in other for her parents to read a story to her at night, for them to tell her that she was  **good** , she had to do her very best. And so, she did. She was the best student, the best at reading, at  math , at science. She was a kid that, at age fifteen, was already studying to become a doctor because her parents told her she was good at that, and out of the options they gave her that was the one that made most sense because after all, she still visited her friends in the hospital, and she thought... "If they are my friends, then I want to help little girls like me one day too."~

~Alex,~  The tears streaming down her face stab at your heart, and you don't really need to ask whose story is this.

_~But along the way she started discovering that things were not how her parents told her to be. They said that kids should be seen, not heard, but she liked to be heard, she had a voice, an opinion she could discuss things with them too. They said kids should do as ordered, do as commanded, but once they told her to get lost, to never come back and she wanted to, she wanted to be with them, she couldn’t leave. They said kids were good as long as they were good in school, but she had the best grades, she was at the top of her class and they still told her she wasn’t enough and that kid in her grade, who had the worst grades, was always picked up by his parents with a kiss and a hug. They said that kids were worth having as long as they obeyed, but was it worth it obeying what they said when everything she did was wrong either way? She met people here and there, made friends and colleagues, people who saw more than what she was for her parents, and they helped understand one little but so important thing._

_~She was living her life for herself, not for her parents. Her first best friend, other than the nurses, that’s it, was a lovely girl named Emma. Emma was older than her, so much older, but she was always available to talk to her, to hear her fears and to help her understand why she was so sad all the time. If she hadn’t found Emma, I don’t think she’d lived past her fifteenth Name Day.~_

You blink and you feel two fat tears drop down your cheeks. You don’t think about it, you hug her as hard as you can dare, but you don’t interrupt her story.

_~The thing is, if she had kept listening to them, then she would have died too young. Trying to achieve what they tell you, trying to be what they want you to be, sometimes it’s not possible. One thing is to try to make your parents, your family, proud and the other is to transform yourself into something you are not. The first sign of defiance I did with my parents was that I started hanging out with this girl, this mentor, and from then everything changed. I don’t regret it, even if it hurt so damn much, but choosing to live my life as I wanted to, as I was meant to be, it was liberating and I think that’s the best we all can hope for._

_~Maggie’s case it’s different, sure, but it’s just as valid. She can’t be what her family wants her to be, and she suffers for it. But, at the end of the day, she’s happier for it too. My parents wanted perfection, wanted what was best for them and Maggie’s parents want what they think it’s the best for her, but at the end of the day, we are the ones choosing what is best for us._

_~I’m not too sure how it worked for you and your people, little star, but for us, for Maggie and me, the best we could do was to love our family but also love ourselves. We all deserve to be happy, Kori and that happiness sometimes comes with a little sacrifice.~_

You sniff, letting her words sink in.  _~I don’t like your parents either.~_

She snorts at that.  _~Good to know.~_ She squeezes you, tracing her fingers up and down your arm.  _~But, do you understand now? Do you understand why we can’t follow our families’ wishes all the time?~_

You nod.  _~On Krypton kids were cherished, we were precious, and we were raised to be the best not for the Houses, but for ourselves too. I could have chosen not to join Aunt Astra, but my honor and the love I had for her and my House made me do it, and I did it happily, but Rel-Wen, he was meant to be in the Religious Guild, but he chose to be in the Military one, he went against his House wishes to be with me but his parents were proud of him. They never made him feel inferior or a traitor.~_

_~And that’s another reason why your society is better.~_

_~…Was.~_

Alex sighs under you and you feel her nodding.  _~Was.~_

You stay cuddled for a while. You let the episode with the strange square  _sponge_ on the  _TV_ finish and another one start before you push away from her. You look at her face and notice the redness in her eyes and nose and you feel bad you put it there. But, you also feel so good that she chose to share this with you.

“Kori?”

“What does Alex mean?”

She smiles. “On its own? Defender. The whole name is Alexander, protector of humanity, well, the female version it’s, Alexandra.”

You scrunch up your nose. “Your real name is Alexandra?” It sounds um, well, off. Alex is Alex, not Alexandra.

She laughs a little at that, and some of the sadness leaves her eyes. “Yes. But my nickname is Alex. Just like yours is little star.”

“But, _~my name means Stardust, it makes sense you call me “Little star,” shouldn’t you be something like…_ “the defender?”

She burst out laughing. “Oh, Rao, no. That’s awful!”

You nod. It’s really awful. “I like Alex better.”

She’s still laughing, and you feel warm that she is so at ease now. Gone is the tension and the sadness; well, at least most of it. “Good, because that’s my name.”

_~Did the nurses really named you?~_ Names hold power and value and it feels wrong that such an important thing wasn’t chosen by her family.

She shrugs, a smile on her face.  _~Who knows? My grandmother and the nurses told me the story by bits, and I put it all together, maybe it was a name my parents chose, but I doubt it. If anything, maybe it was my grandmother’s idea.~_

You flop on top of her when she has calmed down enough. “I’m sorry.”

She blinks up at you, confused. “What are you sorry for?”

“For not seeing that, we need to support Maggie… that she chose us and we need to stand by her.”

Her arms come around you again, settling on your waist anchoring you to her. “You don’t have to, Kortni,” she says seriously. “Just like us, you need to live your life for yourself, not for us. Never for us.”

You nod. “I know. I understand it. But, I choose to be with you, to support her too.”

“Kori…”

“I’m coming too.” You hesitate a little, unsure. “If I can still come.”

She smiles, and she kisses your forehead. “You can always come with us. We’re family.”

XxXxX

When you decided to tag along, you made the silent vow to help Alex as much as you could with Kara so she could focus on Maggie.

It was the right call, you think, as it was made evident that Kara was having a bad day once Maggie and your sister came back from their short shopping trip. Kara has been fussy, and rude and Maggie and Alex debated for a moment if the trip to the farm was the right call. Alex insisted it was a chance that Maggie couldn’t let pass and Maggie kept insisting that it wasn’t that important.

Problem was, it was that important.

Maggie had spent the last couple of days chatting excitedly about seeing Charlie and Lyon again, the two foster siblings she was the closest to. Charlie is, as far as they explained you, part of this  _country_ Military Guild, and Lyon is part of its Religious Guild.

It has been years since Maggie last saw them and she has been talking about meeting Li and Junior (Charlie’s husband and kid,) and picking on Lyon for having dedicated his life to his God.

You don’t understand much of their religion yet, those that populate this part of Earth, but Alex and Maggie promised he wouldn’t be disrespectful of your beliefs and that they expected the same from you.

You didn’t plan on really starting a debate with him, you still don’t, so you agreed easily.

Besides, in your mind, you were going to stick to Kara the whole time, and you doubted your sister would enjoy talking with the grownups.

But, now being here, sticking to Kara proved to be an almost impossible task.

The smell of meat cooking over open fires made you almost sick, and Alex asked you to take Kara to one of the  _barns_ so she couldn’t be overwhelmed, and you wouldn’t puke. Problem was, there are lots of people around and you lost your pint-sized sister almost as soon as you separated from Alex and Maggie.

There are not many kids around, but the noise is high, and the smells are too strong, and the light is suddenly too bright, and you need to find Kara and you have been looking for her for the last hour.

She is not in the _barns_ , she is not in the _shack_ where Josh keeps the tractor, and she is not in the main house playing with Jess’ _keyboard_ or something. You know she took her bag with her so wherever she is, she is probably drawing. You also know that if the worst comes to pass, Alex can easily track her bag with her _cell phone_ and you will find your sister then.

Looking into the mess that is the gathering from your vantage point on the top of a  _tree_ , you can see Alex and Maggie talking with Charlie and Li, little Junior in Alex’s arms. Junior has celebrated five Name Days, but he is almost as tall as Kara and you know Kara would be freaked out to see him in her Mama’s arms. He is cute and all, but yeah, it bothers you that he is in Alex’s arms too.

However, before you can go and confront Alex about it, you need to find your sister.

You climb down, just like Maggie taught you, and you survey your surroundings again. You couldn’t see Kara, so that means she is inside somewhere.

But, you have looked everywhere inside, and you don’t want to try to tune in your hearing for her because, against Alex’s order, you left your  _earplugs_ in the car and experience has shown you that once you open your ears completely it takes you hours to control the noise again.

(You don’t want to tell Alex you left the  _earplugs_ behind and give her a reason to be disappointed in you.)

That means,

You look towards the back of the huge  _tree_ you climbed. A series of other  _trees_ lie ahead, and several more are around too. Maggie says it’s not really a  _forest,_ but for you, who had never seen more than one plant in the same place until you came to Earth, this array of  _trees_ is huge for you and, yep, it is definitely a  _forest._

You didn’t see Kara in the open, so maybe she chose to brave the wilderness.

You are quick to walk inside, making sure you know the way back, always looking for your baby sister.

Here the noise is subdued, and you wonder if that has to do with the  _trees_ and  _leaves_ or simply because it is a little farther from them all. All in all, you like it here, and you allow yourself to enjoy how nice the air smells and how subtle the sunlight feels on your skin with all the shadowed patches made by the  _foliage._

About five minutes of easy walking – you might be concerned for Kara, but you are not  _that_ concerned, there is no way she has gone too far, and you know Alex will find her in a second, what concerns you the most is Kara doing  _something_ or getting into trouble without you or Alex or Maggie to help her out – you are about to walk from behind a tree when you stumble upon something you didn’t think you would ever see.

Mary is sitting at the base of a broad  _tree_ , quietly chatting with your sister. You can see that Kara is, as expected, drawing on her  _sketch pad_ as she keeps an easy rapport with Maggie’s sister. 

You can see that Kara is not in distress, or that she is bothered by Mary’s closeness, in fact, you think Kara is actually enjoying Mary’s company to an extent. 

She is talking with Maggie’s sister, after all.

And Kara never chats with strangers or people she doesn’t like.

You take a deep breath and resign yourself to admit to Alex that you need to go back to the car for your  _earplugs._ You close your eyes and concentrate on the bones and muscles Aunt Astra taught you about. They are too far away to hear with your ‘normal’ hearing and also far away enough that you know you won’t be spotted until you make yourself known.

You need to assess this situation before storming in and demanding answers.

Mary’s voice comes after a second, making you frown. She is talking quietly to Kara and her tone is gentle and soft. So different from what you have gotten used to.

“ _Really?”_ Mary asks as if she was humoring her.

“ _Yes. Mommy wanted to push Auntie Kate in the crocodile tank, but she told me she couldn’t go to jail and leave Mama to raise us alone, even when Auntie Kate keeps making fun of Mommy’s height.”_

“ _Kate? As in Kate Kane?”_

“ _She is Mama’s sister. Auntie Kate. Mommy gets mad at her often, but she loves her. Auntie Kate says she annoys Mommy because she loves her too, but Mama says Auntie Kate just likes being a pain in the butt. I’m not supposed to say pain in the butt.”_

Mary snorts in amusement but doesn’t say anything about that.  _“You’re really good,”_ she comments, and you open your eyes to see her peeking onto Kara’s drawing.  _“Do you take classes?”_

Kara shakes her head.  _“No. Mama hired a teacher for a couple of months, but he said he didn’t have anything to teach me.”_

“ _Oh. Was that recently?”_

“ _No. It was before. When I was little.”_

Mary chuckles, and the sound of it reminds you so much of Maggie.  _“You are little.”_

Kara’s nose scrunches up.  _“I’m eleven, well, Kori says I’m ten, and Mama said we’ll settle that later. But Mommy says to let me be eleven, but Mama wants me to be ten.”_

“ _Uh? What do you mean?”_ You don’t know if you need to intervene now or risk having Kara out herself. It’s true she has just seen ten Name Days, but her Earth papers say she has seen eleven. Both Alex and you know that mistake was done thanks to Kal-El and Alex’s parents’ unwillingness to _think_ before forging her papers.

“ _Kori says I was born later than what Mama thought.”_ That answer doesn’t give anything away and, thankfully, Kara thinks it’s a good enough answer so she doesn’t elaborate further.

“ _Kori is your sister, right?”_ Mary chooses to ask instead. She shuffles a little and Kara doesn’t flinch away. Something is wrong.

“ _Yes. She’s a great sister.”_

Your heart swells at that.

“… _But your Mama was your sister too, wasn’t she?”_

Kara shakes her head again, changing  _pencils_ . All through this interview – this is no interrogatory, Mary’s body language doesn’t scream danger – your sister’s focus is solely on her paper.  _“Eliza and Jeremiah said she was my sister, but she wasn’t. She is Mama. She has always been Mama.”_

“ _Eliza? Jeremiah?”_

“ _Mama’s parents. They died two years ago.”_

The stunned look on Mary’s face should make you feel happy, but it doesn’t. It actually makes you feel guilty you wanted to feel happy with her discomfort. 

“ _Really? How did they die?”_

“ _A truck hit us. Eliza died instantly. Jeremiah spent a week in the hospital. He died sleeping, though, so Mama said he was lucky. He wasn’t in pain.”_

“ _A… truck hit you.”_ It’s worded as a statement, but the question is clear in her voice.

You don’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing that Kara doesn’t pick that up.

When it’s evident Kara’s not going to say anything else, Mary continues.  _“What about Maggie? Was she there when they died?”_

“ _Mama met Mommy after they died. We moved to Gotham and Mommy said it was love at first sight.”_ Kara finally looks up, staring at Mary. Mary shifts again, and you understand why. Sometimes, Kara’s earnest eyes are too penetrating, too open, too trusting. _“Can you love someone at first sight?”_

Mary’s eye widens subtly. You are expecting her to revert to that spiteful, hurtful woman you have come to know, and you are so ready to make your presence known so when she opens her mouth you are floored and so confused.  _“Yes. Yes, you can.”_

“ _Oh.”_ Kara goes back to her drawing. _“Mommy says it feels like a punch in the stomach. Mama says it’s like you finally can breathe. But Auntie Kate says it’s more like wanting to sneeze.”_ She doesn’t look up, still drawing. _“Have you felt it?”_

“ _Yes.”_

Kara beams, giving her a wide smile.  _“Then you’re lucky. Mama says you’re lucky if you easily find your soulmate or if you find them at all.”_

Mary’s eyes dart away, and you can almost see a small tear threatening to fall down.

Maybe it’s time to step out from behind your tree.

“ _That’s Maggie, right?”_ Mary asks, composing herself so smoothly you wouldn’t have known Kara’s words hit her hard.

“ _Yes. It’s Mommy, graduating.”_ She looks to Mary again. _“Why didn’t you go?”_

“ _I wasn’t invited.”_

Kara’s confusion is echoed in your own face. That doesn’t sound like Maggie at all. Maggie is big on family, she thinks family is important, and that belief is the only reason you went back to the farm to face Maria and the rest of Maggie’s family.

It was that belief that made Maggie face her indignant mother and annoyed brothers just so she could spend the day with them and the rest of her family. You learnt today that Alex and Maggie were married recently and Maggie’s family didn’t know and that annoyance came from they not knowing. But, Alex said the marriage was something that was born in love but executed in need: they were planning on marrying at some point, but a problem with Kara’s legal status forced them to marry sooner than expected.

Maggie wanted a big party for her family because she thought that was what they wanted.

So, Maggie not inviting Mary is a lie.

“ _You’re lying,”_ Kara states, voicing your thoughts. _“Mommy would never not invite you. You’re her sister.”_

Mary laughs and it is hollow and sad.  _“Maggie and I… we don’t have a good relationship.”_

“ _Why?”_

“ _It’s complicated.”_

“ _Is that because I’m a kid?”_

Mary frowns down at your sister.  _“What do you mean?”_

Kara shrugs.  _“Mama says that sometimes I can’t understand things because I’m a kid and that I need to grow a little before she can explain them to me. She said that when I asked why I can’t say “fuck” like the other kids.”_

Mary snorts, amused, much to your confusion. You don’t know why you are forbidden to say that word too when it’s a mostly normal – gross and yucky – thing humans do. You shiver thinking on that.  _“Yes. It’s something like that.”_

“ _Okay.”_ Kara keeps drawing, and by the kind of _pencil,_ she is using you think she is almost finished. 

“ _You really are talented.”_

“ _Thank you.”_

You watch as Mary watches your sister for a moment longer and then, Kara is tearing the page out her  _sketch pad_ slowly with care.  _“Here,_ ” she says.  _“You can keep it.”_

Mary takes it with care and a little shock.  _“Why are you giving this to me?”_

“ _Because I think you love Mommy, but don’t get to see her often.”_

Mary splutters, and she then starts coughing, and, yes, this is the moment you need to make yourself known.

“Kara!” You call her loudly as you jog to them. “I’ve been looking for you all over the place!”

Kara looks up and tilts her head to the side. “What are you doing here?”

You stop before her, crunching down to be at her level. “I was looking for you.”

Kara frowns. “But…” She looks around, seeing Mary and the  _trees_ and the sky.  _~We are not in Krypton,~_ she states.

You spare a glance to Mary, seeing her confusion, but not minding it. “No, we are not.”

_~But… but…~_ She turns her eyes to you, and you cringe at seeing the tears there.  _~ Mama’s not here...~_

_~No, Kara, she’s not.~_

_~But…~_ the first tears start to fall, and you reach out tentatively to touch her cheeks with your fingertips. 

You understand everything now. Why she was so comfortable with Mary, why she kept talking to her, why she let her be so close, why she is now crying.  _~I love you, Kara,~_ you enunciate the words Doctor Quinzel taught you to help bring Kara back into reality.  _~It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to be confused. This is real, baby sis. You are with me, I’m not leaving you. This is real.~_ Doctor Quinzel made you and Alex and Maggie learn the words, so, those are the only ones that come from your mouths over and over and over again until Kara snaps out of it.

She said if the words were always the same it will make Kara realize she is in fact not dreaming.

Kara’s first sob is a stab to your heart, and you see Mary standing up from the corner of your eye. “Should I get…” she points vaguely to where the house is and you shake your head. 

“No,” you tell her, eyes fixed on Kara. “Don’t move.”

“K-Kori?”

“Yes, Sunny. It’s me. Can I hug you?” Instead of answering, Kara launches to your arms, and you hug her tight, rising to your feet and letting her cuddle you full-bodied. She hides her face in your neck, but you can hear the sobs, and you can feel the tears on your skin. “Shh, love… shhh.”

“Is she okay?” Mary asks you and you look up to her with a little frown.

“No,” you tell her honestly and you don’t know why, but you feel the need to elaborate. “She had a rough time recently,” you tell her. “Alex says she is suffering from PTSD, and she sometimes can’t tell if she’s dreaming or not.”

Mary’s eyes widen at that. “PTSD?”

You nod. “She was kidnapped.” By me, you add in your head. The stupidest decision you have ever made, taking Kara with you. Now your baby sister is suffering and it’s all your fault. 

You can feel your own tears building up, and you know you need to find Alex or Maggie  _now._

“Could you please pack her things for me?” You ask Mary as politely as you can manage with your guilt starting to consume you.

Mary nods, and Kara decides that’s the moment to upgrade her sobbing into wailing. Your ears are still hearing more than usual, and you cringe at the sudden noise. “Mama!”

“Shh, Kara. Shh,” you try to calm her down. “I’m taking you to Mama now.”

Mary hands you Kara’s  _backpack,_ and you nod gratefully, shouldering it as best as you can. 

“Do you need-”

Mary’s question is swallowed by your  _cell phone_ ringing. 

Kara helped you chose the  _ringtone,_ and you wince at how loud it is and how out-of-place it sounds with Kara’s cries in the background. To be fair, Alex cringes every time your phone rings – twice so far – and Maggie just laughs at her for not liking Pitbull.

You juggle your sister in your arms, and you fetch the phone from your pocket. This time you dressed with a pair of  _shorts_ that resemble Alex’s favorite ones, with several pockets and hidden placed to storage candies. It takes you a moment, but when you take it out, you see it’s Alex calling.

You answer the call with the tip of your nose and Alex’s frantic voice makes you wince again.  _“Kortni, come here right now. We’re going back home. Renee got shot.”_ There is a beat and then Alex’s worry increases.  _“Why is Kara crying?”_

_~She is doubting again,~_ you inform her briefly, already power walking towards the house.  _~She is coming down now.~_

_~Shit. Shit. Shit. Okay, okay. Come here and we’ll deal with it on the ride to Omaha.~_

_~We are almost at the house.~_ You look back, and you see that Mary is no longer where you left her. You would like to know where she went and how you didn’t hear her go, but as Kara’s wailing hits a high note you decide you need to move.

Now.

Alex said Renee got shot and you understand why you’re heading home. 

Your new family is in need.

And, frankly, you like that part of the family better.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Kori's POV!!!! Hooray!!!_  
>  As Char and I were talking about chapters 30,31 and 32 there was one thing or should I say someone that bothered me a lot and that person is Maria, Maggie's mom, I didn't like the way she behaved in that "family" dinner; she did nothing, nothing to defend her daughter, no even one word, she did nothing to comfort her youngest daughter after her brothers and sister attacked her, all she did was cry and that was it. But after all, it makes glad that at least she's got Josh and Jess and Sarah on her side.  
> In our daily conversations, there is one thing that I always comment on and that is how great Alex is as a Mama with both Kori and little Kara. Maggie is awesome too and I love them all.  
> Though poor Kori had a panic attack and that broke my heart it was very cute to see her getting jealous of big teeth Martha.  
> As if I needed more reasons to hate Eliza and Jeremiah.  
> Goodness thank God Alex and Maggie found a family that loves them no matter what.  
> And it turns out that Mariana is not so bad after all, it was nice to actually see her interacting with her niece in a very kind way, she wasn't cruel or anything, she even tried to help her.  
> And one last thing Kori broke my heart she still feels extremely guilty for what happened with her baby sister. And that breaks my heart too.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> RENEE GOT SHOT?!?!?!?!?!!! WHAT?!?!!
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter 33 ... ready.  
> Chapter 34 ... ready.  
> Chapter 35 ... In the writing process. I think that it is almost ready.
> 
>  
> 
> Forgive for any spelling mistake or grammatical error.


	33. Cookout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Alex!”
> 
> Alex stops mid motion from putting on her undershirt. The fabric of her undershirt is completely covering her head, and you see with satisfaction how her ribs no longer poke out that much. She has been putting weight, and the outlines of the beginning of her six-pack shouldn’t make you desire her that much. The edge of her bra brings your mind back to what you two were doing in the shower ten minutes ago, and your mouth waters a little.
> 
> You roll on your stomach, supporting your head with your hands as you keep admiring your wife. The tiny cat sleeping by the pillows yowls at being disturbed. Yep, you can totally see a little red mark where her bo-
> 
> “Mama!”
> 
> Or,
> 
> The one where we meet Maggie's partner and Renee is in pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Announcements:
> 
> Really good news: I'm crazy happy cuz I've been really busy and really distracted with school, yeah... but also I've also spent time with my lovely datemate and frankly I've been to hyped to be writing properly before, after and during those times.
> 
> Sorry not sorry U_U
> 
> Good-ish news: chapter 36 is halfway written as I post this!!!
> 
> More good-ish news!!! The family is finally settling in!
> 
> Bad news... I don't really have any. Sorry for making you think that I did.
> 
> I'm too happy to have bad news. 
> 
> Thank you so much for Reinako for posting last time!!! I don't know what I'd do without her.
> 
> Go yell at her @reainakonanofate on tumblr so she can yell at me 24/7 for more chapters and to be faster!
> 
> WARNINGS: slight mentions of homophobia and maybe a little xenophobia if you squint.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Also, a little summary of what's been happening so far is provided in the main text of the chapter, cause the character count got too big for the notes. Goto the line break if you wanna skip it.

 

> **PREVIOUSLY ON _Kismet_ :**
> 
> Alex met Maggie in a café at Gotham University, and after months of talking, Alex finally relented to a date with the cute police cadet. Their date is interrupted when Alex is called about a hysterical Kara and Maggie discovers that Alex is the guardian of a traumatized ten years old alien.
> 
> Maggie and Alex start dating officially and Kara and Alex get smitten with the athletic almost police officer, so, after a huge fight around their eight-month dating, Maggie moves in. Around this time Kara starts calling them Mom and Mama.
> 
> Clark and Lois come visit for Kara's eleventh birthday and it's a disaster: Kal-El is an ass and he doesn't care about Kara at all.
> 
> That year (2009) is the first year Kara and Alex celebrate Christmas with Maggie's help. They also get to mourn before that date Eliza and Jeremiah's passing: they got hit by truck and Eliza died instantly while Jeremiah spent a week in the hospital before dying.
> 
> After celebrating their first year anniversary and Alex's birthday (when Alex meets Kate Kane and Renee Montoya for the first time), Maggie graduates from Gotham's Police Academy and it's a joyous occasion. The event is so important that several newspapers and magazines cover the event.
> 
> Shortly after, Maggie and Kara go ring hunting for Alex. Maggie knows she's met the love of her life and she wants to tie the knot soon. However, as they are happily returning home with the perfect ring purchased, a druggie tries to rob them with a gun and Kara, sweet Kara, stops a couple of bullets from hitting her Mommy.
> 
> This incident prompts the governmental organization CADMUS to seek Kara. CADMUS is known to violate human rights and hunt down aliens for experimentation and research. Eliza and Jeremiah worked for CADMUS and Maggie's best friend, Lucy, works for them too. Kara is saved from CADMUS by Susan Vasquez, Alex's friend and Kara's longtime babysitter, who works for the DEO.
> 
> The DEO strikes a deal with Alex: in exchange for Alex to work for them, they keep CADMUS away from Kara. Hank Henshaw, who used to work with Jeremiah, is a man Alex knows well. He was the one that taught Alex all about the stars and that spent time with her when her parents wouldn't care.
> 
> The new job means the family (Alex and Maggie had to marry in order to protect Kara from CADMUS) has to move to National City and, just a week after the move, disaster strikes: Kara is kidnapped by none other than her Aunt Astra and... Kortni Zor-El, first daughter of Alura In-Ze and Lara Lor-Van, a protege of Zor-El, first cousin to Kal El and biological big sister of Kara Zor-El.
> 
> Kara is kept for five weeks in which Alex starts her training as a DEO agent and the DEO Kate, Wonder Woman and her kid and the Amazons and Gotham City Sirens all helped look for her. But it isn't until Kortni sees that her sister is sick that she brings her back to Alex and Maggie.
> 
> Once back and once Astra is arrested, Kortni Zor-El is welcomed into the Sanvers' household to be near her sister. She's adjusting as well as she can and she's starting to open to Alex and Maggie who, at the beginning, she hated with a passion.
> 
> Kara is suffering from PTSD and she's doubting reality and she's struggling with adapting back to her life. She's loved and supported, so she's starting to get better... even if she's regressing a little more than usual.
> 
> Kate and Renee, left in Gotham City, are planning on moving into National City to be near the family.
> 
> Alex, Maggie and the girls went to Blue Springs, Nebraska, to meet with Maggie's family at their milking farm: 
> 
> Roberto Sawyer (deceased) married Maria Elena Sawyer (68) several years ago and had a not so little brood of children:
> 
> Twins Roberto Jr. (Bob, 49) and David (49); Antonio (Tony, 46) and Mariana (Mary, 42)
> 
> When their kids were small, they started fostering older teens (mostly boys) to help give them a chance to leave the system in a safe place and with better odds.
> 
> Several years later, Maggie (26) was born.
> 
> So, when the Danvers-Sawyer family visited, they encountered Maria, Josh (Mary's 24yo son), Mary, and Sarah and Jess, the teens Maria is fostering at the moment.
> 
> Alex, Kara and Kori got along relatively well with Maggie's family, but, because big families attract big fights and Mary is a wicked witch, our family had to leave and spent the rest of their time in Nebraska getting to know the place and bonding among them. 
> 
> In that trip Kara got to be her sweet self, Maggie got to reaffirm Josh is always in her corner, Kori gained her first best friend and Alex got to see how and where her wife grew to be the amazing woman she is.
> 
> And now, onto the chapter:

* * *

“Alex!”

Alex stops mid motion from putting on her undershirt. The fabric of her undershirt is completely covering her head, and you see with satisfaction how her ribs no longer poke out that much. She has been putting weight, and the outlines of the beginning of her six-pack shouldn’t make you desire her that much. The edge of her bra brings your mind back to what you two were doing in the shower ten minutes ago, and your mouth waters a little.

You roll on your stomach, supporting your head with your hands as you keep admiring your wife. The tiny cat sleeping by the pillows yowls at being disturbed. Yep, you can totally see a little red mark where her bo-

“Mama!”

She sighs and her slightly muffled voice reaches you. “Do you think if I ignore them, they will forget I exist?”

“Alex!”

You laugh as Alex finishes putting on her undershirt. Her hair is still damp and sticking up at odd angles. She is not wearing any makeup, and the undershirt makes her muscled arms show off deliciously.

“Mama!”

“Coming!” Alex yells back. She messes with her hair, and she glares lightly at your goofy grin. “We are not having any more kids,” she states, knowing very well your mind was in the gutter a second ago.

You fake a pout. “What? I wanted a boy!” you jest with her.

“No, Mags. I draw the line at two.”

You smirk and wiggle your eyebrows. “Really? Don’t you want to try for the third? I’m all in for the practice.”

Alex snorts. “Rao, you’re unbelievable… and insatiable.”

You shrug. “So? You like me this way.”

“I have to like you. It was on our contract when we got married.”

You ponder that for a second as you get up from the bed, intent on finally dressing. The cat once again protests the movement. Prissy cat, you didn’t even move that much.  “Mmmm. You’re right. It was section four, clause ten?”

Alex shakes her head as she goes out the room to see to your kids’ demands. “Don’t be daft. That’s the one that says you have to give foot rubs every Monday at seven.”

You laugh again, delighted that, no matter what, Alex is always ready to joke around and to make sure the girls are alright.

The trip to the farm was stressful but at the same time so healing.

It allowed all of you to bond closely together, even more closely than being coped to the penthouse did. It also allowed the kids to have fun while Kori continued figuring out how to pass as a human and Kara is finally starting to let her bad thoughts dwindle.

Yeah, she might have had an _episode_ on your last day there, but Kori took care of her and…

Well, Mariana acted amazingly with her, from what Kori said. It warms your heart and lets you feel a little lighter knowing that, for all the bad she has done to you, Mariana still holds some warmth and maternal instincts in her.

You sigh a heavy sigh.

You won’t keep thinking about it, of them. No.

You promised yourself you will let them come to you this time.

Josh already did. He texts you constantly and you’ve call him twice too.

If he can do it, so the rest can.

“Mommy?”

You look to the side and regard Kara. She is wearing a pair of dungarees with a hot pink sleeveless t-shirt under them. She is barefoot, and her hair is messy and knotted. At her last haircut, she asked to let her bangs grow so they frame her face, almost brushing her chin. The new chain on her gemstone is a little thicker and sturdier than the last one and it shows off nicely against her neck.

Sometimes you think Kara is going to grow and be handsome and sporty, but others, like now, you think she will lean more towards beauty pageant kind of stunner. “You look lovely, sunshine.”

She scrunches up her nose, looking you up and down. “Why aren’t you and Mama already dressed?” You are still on your boy briefs and sports bra as you haven’t really gotten around to choose your wardrobe. First, Alex’s body is pretty distracting, and then, you simply got lost in thought for a little bit.

And Alex, well, she went to attend the girls’ call in her underwear too.

“You know how we like to take long showers, sunshine.” You smile to her before going into the walk-in closet. You see her sitting at the edge of your bed before you turn fully to your clothes.

Perks of being a lesbian? Having your clothing choice suddenly doubled.

Cons of being a lesbian? Having to choose what to wear from such a vast selection.

It’s a special pain that Alex and you have such varied taste in clothes.

“Did you need anything, baby?” You ask her, putting on a white plain t-shirt. “I heard you call for Mama.”

You can almost hear the pout in her voice. “I need help with my hair, but Kori needed help with her clothes, so Mama sent me up.”

You nod, trying to decide between a green and a red flannel. “Let me get dressed and I would do your hair. Do you want braids or a pony tail?”

“Can I have it down?”

You squeeze into a pair of jeans, finally taking the red flannel and buttoning it up halfway. “You will be running around all day, sunshine. Wouldn’t it be better if your hair doesn’t get in the way?”

You turn in time to see Kara staring intently to a strand of her hair that falls over her eyes. Streaky, her cat, her cat that for some reason likes your bed better than Kara’s, is now curled up against her leg and Kara is absent-mindedly rubbing her tummy.

“How are you doing your hair, Mommy?”

You think for a moment. You don’t plan on running around and, while this whole affair is pretty casual, you still need to dress to impress, at least a little. “I think I’m going to go for… a ponytail.”

“I want a ponytail then.”

You smile. “Come on, then.” You beckon her to follow you to the bathroom, leaving an indignant cat behind. “We’ll make ourselves so pretty that Mama and Kori are going to be so jealous of us.”

It’s amazing how well Kara and Kori adapted to one another after their first fight. They have become so close, and where one is, the other is sure close by. Kori’s taste in books and movies is not completely based on what Kara likes, but Kara certainly helped cement them.

But, above all, they act more and more like kids their age with each passing day, and you couldn’t be happier about it.

While Kara is letting go of her more childish habits, Kori is adopting more childish ones. Kara no longer sucks her thumb all the time like she did those first days after she got back, while Kori can be seen fidgeting with the hem of her shirts often. Kara is finally sleeping on her own and Kori, sweet Kori, has to be carried to her own bed every other day after falling asleep watching TV. Kori has picked up gaming from you while Kara has started to read more about science, and history than the fairy tales books she has been clinging to for weeks now.

The food issue is even starting to get sorted too.

Kara finally understood that regardless of what she says or what she tries, Kori won’t eat the meats you eat. Kori has also grown resigned to see you eat all things that, according to her, still have a soul in them, however, Alex has figured out how to talk her into trying different types of cheese and to try milk too. She won’t even try to get her to eat eggs, though, because Kori’s arguments say that even eggs have souls, and neither of you would ever try to guilt Kori into doing something that she simply is against of.

The fact that she eats cheese and drinks skim milk now is a huge accomplishment; especially when it was made obvious that she loves the taste of them.

You sit Kara on the toilet and get to work. In every bathroom in this house you have a bottle of no-tears, no-tangles liquid to help comb Kara’s hair, so, you take it, and quickly spray your kid’s hair with it. You learnt early on that Kara’s hair tangles if let on its own and that Alex always braids Kara’s hair every night for that reason.

She might be a little, mostly indestructible, Kryptonian, but her hair is so thin and with a mind of its own that it looks like a rat’s nest if you aren’t constantly combing it.

“Mommy?” Kara asks you as you gently brush her hair. You don’t know what this girl did with it, but it’s going to take you a while to bring it back to its former, shiny, glory.

“Yes, sunshine?”

Kara tilts her head back, interrupting your work. Her earnest eyes look at you, and she frowns a little. “Does Mama like Kori better?”

Both your eyebrows raise at that. “What?”

“Does Mama like Kori better?”

“Kara, no!” You let the brush down and kneel before her, taking her hands into yours. “No, baby, no. Why would you think that?”

Kara’s frown gets deeper, and she looks down. “Mama spends lots of time with Kori.”

“She spends lots of time with you too.”

“She helps Kori with everything.”

“And she helps you too.”

“She cooks especially for Kori.”

“And she still cooks for you.”

“Mama loves her.”

You comb her hair out of her eyes, prompting her to look at you. “Baby, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you too.”

Her frown gets deeper, and you worry what her verdict will be.

“I know that. Mama loves me so much. But… She should like Kori better.”

What she says, the way she phrases it confuses you greatly. “Kara? What do you mean?”

Kara’s eyes are hard, and in this moment, you are reminded exactly what she has lived through. How much she has lost. How lost she has been before. “Mama’s love is the best and Kori is hurting. Mama can help her like she helped me. And I was Mama’s favorite, so Mama needs to like Kori better. Kori is sad. She is crying when she is sleeping. Mama can make it better, but she can’t if she doesn’t like Kori better.” Her head tilts to the side. “Mommy… you have to like her better too. She needs you too.”

Oh, Rao. Your kid is so precious.

At that moment, the sudden panic that was starting to build in you evaporates. Kara’s reasoning is sometimes hard for you to follow, true, but you are so glad she is always this blunt and honest. It also helps you greatly that Kara never lies.

At least, she never lies to you.

You grab her under the armpits and hug her to you hard. You sit on the toilet and settle her on your lap. “Kara Álainn Danvers-Sawyer,” you tell her firmly. “I need you to listen to me.”

Kara nods, solemnly.

“Kara, we love you. We love you with all our hearts and we’ll always love you with all our hearts. That will never change. You will always be our number one.” You smile down to her. “But, do you know what’s the most amazing thing about hearts?”

Kara shakes her head. “No.”

“The most amazing thing about hearts is that they can grow so big, they never run out of love. So big, in fact, they can hold several numbers one. Do you know who my number ones are?”

Kara’s eyes widen excited. “Me?”

“Yes, baby. You. Who else?”

“Mama and Kori?”

“Mama and Kori.”

“Auntie Renee and Auntie Kate?” You would like to joke that Kate barely ranks last place, but you know this is neither the time nor the place. You can’t have Kara thinking you don’t love your crazy bat too.

“Auntie Renee and Auntie Kate. Kara, we are family and I love each of you greatly. Mama does too. She loves you and your sister and me and your aunties with all her heart. So, she liking Kori better will never happen, just as she liking me better will never happen.” You don’t know if you will mess up with what you are going to say next, but it’s the truth, and you won’t lie to Kara. Not about this. “And she’ll never like you better than your sister or me. Because she loves you, and she loves us. Equally.”

She instantly scrunches up her nose. “Ew! Mom, no!” She yelps. “I don’t want grown up kisses too!”

You can’t help it, you snort a laugh. And, much to your surprise, Alex’s known laughter is heard from the other room.

Your wife comes in into the bathroom. She is still laughing lightly, but she is not fooling you, her eyes are sad and concerned, letting you know she overheard everything.

“Don’t worry, baby,” she says, resting her hand on Kara’s head. “It’ll be a while till I let you have grown up kisses.”

Kara’s nose is still scrunched up. “I’ll never want grown up kisses.”

“We’ll see, love. We’ll see.” She kneels beside you, looking up at Kara’s earnest eyes. “Now. Let’s be serious for a moment, baby. Do you understand what Mom said? About both you and your sister being our number one?”

Kara nods.

“I’d like you to use your words, sunshine.”

“Mom and your hearts are so big, Kori and I are loved so much. And if we have another sibling you will love them so much, too.”

Your eyebrows rise at that. How did she come to that last conclusion?

Alex’s eyes find yours, and you nod minutely.

“Yes, Kara.” Alex’s focus returns to the girl. “But, Mom and I think your sister and you are more than enough to make our family complete. We won’t be having any more kids.”

Kara pouts. “But Auntie Kate said you are constantly trying to make babies.”

You close your eyes for a second. Of course, this is Kate’s doing.

You bounce Kara once, making her turn to you. “Sunshine, do you even know how babies are made?”

Kara’s frantic nodding makes you panic.

“Really, love?” Alex asks her. She is trying to make her tone smooth and collected, but she fails miserably. You can hear she is panicking a little too.

You are so not ready for this.

Damn, you have been so careful so Kara doesn’t walk into anything, doesn’t hear anything, doesn’t question anything yet. You are not naive enough to think that Kara will forever be this innocent.

A couple of years more of innocence would be welcomed, though.

“Kori says babies are made in a chamber. That you can put Mama and Mom’s data together and then, make a baby.”

You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding at that statement and you can almost feel the tension leave Alex’s body.

“No, baby,” she tells Kara. “That’s how babies were done on Krypton, here is different.”

“But,” you say quickly. “It’s one of those things you need to be a little older to really understand.”

Kara’s looking at you, and you can feel Alex’s grateful eyes on you too. “Okay,” your kid says. “Does Kori know?”

“No,” Alex says just as quickly at you did a moment before. “But we’ll tell her when she’s a little older too.”

Kara nods at that. “Okay.” She turns yet again to you. “Can you do my hair now, Mommy?”

You return the nod. “Yes, baby…” You smirk at her. “And maybe Mama will finally get dressed. We don’t want to be late.”

Alex rolls her eyes, but she gets up. “Sure, sure. Make _me_ the reason we’re late. It’s not like you make it impossible to shower,” she grumbles.

You snort, and Kara giggles at the silly face Alex puts before heading to your bedroom.

Placing the kid on the closed toilet again, you continue with the combing and untangling.

“Mommy?”

“Yes, Kara?”

“Why won’t you let Mama shower?”

XxXxX

Seeing Karen again feels weird.

You feel exposed.

Before your family.

And before your coworkers.

“Maggie!” Karen exclaims happily as she sees you approaching. The rest of the detectives and police officers of Precinct Thirteen turn as you approach and you feel your chest constrict.

Thankfully, you also feel Alex’s hand in yours squeezing her support.

“Karen!” You greet her as enthusiastically.

Today is Precinct Thirteen’s annual cookout and, even if you hadn’t work a day with them yet, Captain Lowes demanded that you and yours attend it. This will be the first time you meet the whole “gang,” and you don’t know what you will face.

Karen and Lowes – and Lars and Bauman, the ones that got called in when you reported Kara’s kidnapping – know that you are married and that you have taken in another kid. They haven’t met Alex, Kara or Kori, though, and that, that’s a little intimidating if you are honest with yourself.

The rest of them, the rest of them don’t know you as other than “the poor detective that thinks she can get her daughter back”. Your quest to find Kara was heard by your precinct, and by several others where Renee and you tried to rally people and gather information. All the eyes on you and your family know _about_ you, but they don’t know _you_. Yet.

“Oh, my gosh!” Karen is all smiles. “I didn’t think you’d come.”

You chuckle, and you find Lowes filling up a plate in the far corner of the gathering, making you hyper-aware of the tote bag that Alex made you carry with all the food she cooked yesterday for this. “The Boss lady wanted me here.” You smile tightly back. This feels like the first day of school. “Let me introduce you to my family.”

Before you can introduce anyone, Karen interrupts you. “Linda!” She yells up to the air. “Come here!”

You see from the corner of how Kara tenses in Alex’s arm and Kori shuffles a little closer to Alex’s back.

Damn.

A tall kid, brunette with clear eyes, comes running and stops the moment she collides with Karen’s solid form. “Mom?”

Karen turns herself and the kid to face you, embracing the girl to her. “Ready,” she announces.

Uh.

“I’m Alex.” Your wife lets go of your hand to offer it to Karen. “Maggie has spoken plenty of you.”

Karen shakes it enthusiastically. “A pleasure to finally meet you, Alex. I hope Maggie hasn’t been telling lies about me, though… I’m not the mess she surely makes of me.”

You see Alex blink, confused, as Karen keeps shaking her hand in both of hers. Yes, you’ve spoken plenty about Karen, about what you think it’d be work with her, about how she was so concerned when she found out about Kara, about how she was the first to offer to sweep the streets, about how she was older than you, but still was so joyful.

But, nothing more.

It’s not like you actually _know_ her.

You have seen her face to face a handful of times, you mostly text, and that’s all.

You look forward to work with her, yes, but she is acting as if you have known each other for _years_.

“Please don’t mind her,” a cool voice says from behind her. “She is like a puppy.”

Karen pouts and lets go of Alex, moving just enough to let you see the woman who is approaching you. You are startled, and this can’t be.

“Maggie?” the woman stops stunned, just shy of reaching Karen and the kid.

“Helena?” The name in your tongue feels so wrong. Immensely wrong. And it makes you cringe a little.

Alex’s eyes zero on you, and you see the question and warning in them. The way you sounded was off, was bad, was simply, telling. Her body has shifted so Kara and Kori are facing away from these women and she has adopted some tension in her shoulders.

Even Kori is taut as a bowstring, ready to jump into action.

Karen looks between the two of you, her eyes hardening just a tad. Great, she heard the shock and panic in your voice too. “Do you know each other?”

“We had a mutual friend,” you say, still shocked. Uncertain.

Helena scoffs. She hasn’t changed since the last time you saw her, around two years ago. Her black hair is the same, at the same length, with the same cut. Her clear eyes are the same too, a little too cold, a little too hard, and with lots of distrust.

“A friend?” Alex questions you, and you are glad when she relaxes a little. Not enough for it to matter if she needs to kick ass, but enough for you, and you know she’s not sensing any danger right now.

“I hardly consider Lane a friend.”

Alex blinks again, confused, before understanding dawns on her. You can almost see the lightbulb going on above her head. “Lucy Lane?”

Helena scoffs again. “More like Lucifer.”

You can’t help it. You snort out a laugh.

That’s what you used to call Lucy when she was in one of her moods.

“Do you know Lucy Lane?” Karen asks you, and the steel in both her eyes and voice tells you there is _something_ between Helena and her.

You shrug. “She was my best friend.” You are so glad there is no pain in your voice, even when thinking about Luce still makes you ache inside.

She was your best friend for more than ten years, it still hurts she chose to go against you and yours.

Helena’s eyes narrow. “She’s no longer your friend?”

Alex shifts closer to you. “We had a little falling out,” she informs them. “I’m Alex Sawyer, by the way. Maggie’s wife,” she introduces herself.

You can see Helena’s shoulders relax and your eyes narrow for a second. You met Helena three times, one before Lucy started sleeping with her, one when they were sleeping together, and the last one shortly before Lucy got all panicky and stupid and dumped Helena.

You know they were hookup buddies and that they never meant to develop a relationship, but you also know that Lucy was an ass and that she hurt Helena greatly.

No one stops sleeping with someone so abruptly, after months of it, by telling them they are dykes and that they will rot in hell for all eternity.

You might have stopped talking to your friend for a long while after that.

But, why is Helena now relaxing?

Unless…

“I didn’t know you were gay, Maggie.”

Yep. She thought up until now that you were like Lucy.

That hurts.

“Starr,” Captain Lowes voice interrupts you all. “Stop monopolizing Danvers.”

You look at your boss, and you smile. You like Rebecca Lowes, Captain of your precinct. She is relatively young, short and so commanding. You kind of want to be like her when you grow up.

Oh, Rao, you sounded like Kara.

You want to be like her when you have spent enough years in the force.

There.

Better.

“Captain,” you greet her with a nod. “Let me introduce you to my family.”

Lowes looks Alex up and down. “You’re trained.”

You see how Alex almost flinches back. Really, the people you are going to work with are too blunt, too observant and simply too noisy.

You fear Alex will grow defensive, but instead, she offers her free hand to her. “Alex Sawyer, ma’am. And, somewhat. My sister is big on martial arts, she’s been teaching me.” She nods towards you. “And this one is a good sparring partner, so I get to work out plenty.”

Lowes shakes her hand, a flicker of respect flashing in her eyes. Well, at least it looks like Alex has passed some kind of test.

Although you don’t know why she should be tested in the first place.

“Ma’am.” You redirect her attention to you. “These are Kara and Kortni, our kids.”

Kara is hiding in Alex’s neck since you left the car at the park’s entrance and Kori is pressed tightly against your wife’s back. You know Kara is nervous, but assessing the situation as much as she can, listening what is being said even if she can’t really read into the voices and the mood.

You foresee a shit-ton of questions once you get home.

And not just from Kara.

Kori is putting up the act of shy teen. From your place in this weird little circle that has been formed, you are able to see her trailing every move, every shift, these strangers are making. She is simply doing as you and Alex asked her to; to not act before thinking and to let you, at least for today, to handle everything.

Pretty much as you asked her to do at the farm, Kori knows that right now, her job is to act as support if anything, _anything at all_ compromises Kara’s safety.

Other than that, she needs to stay put.

Lowes’ eyes soften. “Hello, Kara, Kortni,” she says in a gentle voice. “My name is Becca. I’m your mother’s Captain.”

Kori scrunches up her nose, but she doesn’t correct her or anything. And you are glad. You don’t really need to explain to your boss that you are not Kori’s mother… yet.

You all wait for a beat, in silence.

_~Kori. Kara,~_ Alex warns.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Kori says then, but she doesn’t move from behind Alex.

Kara mumbles something against Alex’s neck.

Alex sighs. She smiles weakly to your boss before focusing all her attention to Kara. “Hey, baby,” she coos. “Can you stop hiding for a moment and meet Mom’s friends?”

Kara shakes her head.

“Baby?”

Kara mumbles something, again, and Alex gently deposits her on the ground. Kara is turned so she can rest her back against Alex’s legs and your wife calmly puts both of her hands on Kara’s shoulders.

Kara looks up to Lowes. “Hello.”

Lowes bends down and offers her hand to your kid. “Nice to meet you, Kara.”

Kara looks up at you and you nod. She carefully accepts Lowes’ hand and shakes it. “Are you Mommy’s boss?”

Lowes smiles, retrieving her hand. “Yes. We were very sad you were gone, little one.”

You can practically feel Kori tense again at what Lowes said, and you know this time it has nothing to do with Kori wanting to protect Kara from anything and everything. No.

You have talked plenty with her, both Alex and you have, about what happened with General Astra and her involvement with Kara’s kidnapping. She has yet to tell you absolutely everything regarding those weeks, but you know enough information to know what happened, how both Kara and Kori got to that level of sickness and how they took Kara.

(You have taken measures then. The DEO had your home’s security upgraded and, in the unlikely case Kara is taken from you _outside_ , Alex has not so guilt-free put trackers in Krypto, Kara’s backpack, Kara’s snapback, all of Kara’s left shoes and both your kids’ bracelets.

You pray to Rao that you won’t ever need to activate any of those trackers.)

But, no matter how much you try, the kidnapping is a sore topic for your eldest. She did it, kidnap Kara, because at the time she was under the illusion that was the best for her little sister. She did it because she truly believed she was rescuing Kara from a less than ideal situation. She was wrong, of course, and when she came to see that after she brought her to you, the weight of her guilt almost consumed her.

You think she is faring better now, but you also think her guilt will forever haunt her.

Kara’s head tilts to the side, just like a lost puppy. “I’m not Little One,” she declares. “My sister is.”

Lowes blinks, confused. “Sorry?”

Alex coughs to hide her amusement. “The girls’ aunt calls Kortni Little One, ma’am,” she explains, resting her palm on your youngest’s head. “Kara here thought you were calling her by her sister’s nickname.”

Lowes confusion clears at that, but there’s still something in her eyes that makes you know you will be questioned later. “Okay. How should I call you, then?”

Your kid shrugs. “Kara.”

This time Alex can’t hide her snort, and you sigh.

Of course, Kara decided to overcome her shyness and nerves by being her honest, blunt self.

Thankfully, Lowes laughs at that. “Kara it’s then.”

“Are you going to make sure Mommy comes home every night?”

“Kara…”

Lowes looks at you with a smirk. “I’ll certainly do my best, but she has a ton of paperwork waiting for her. It will be a few weeks at least until she can come home early.”

You almost groan. You knew taking this much time off would be a pain in the long run.

You are so grateful to Lowes, though. She gave you all the time you needed to make sure you had your kid back while also supporting you the best she could, working around the dumb system works and her limited resources. You’ll ever be forever grateful to her.

But, looking at Alex’s own smirk you can’t help, but glare. “Don’t act as if you too won’t be putting double shifts.”

You watch with satisfaction how she visibly deflates at that.

Lowes, Helena, and Karen all laugh and, much to your amazement, their laughs are not forced.

They are actually finding Alex and you funny.

“Come,” Lowes orders you all, still chuckling softly and walking away. “Let’s eat and chat. Work talk is forbidden once you have a plate in hand.”

The kid that came running to meet your partner smiles down at Kara. “Hi,” she says. “I’m Linda. I’m eleven.”

You blink, that’s a tall eleven years old, she is almost as tall as Kori.

Granted, Kara is small, but still.

Before you can really make introductions, again, your boss calls you all. “Come eat!”

You sigh. Your boss doesn’t act like what you think a boss should act (she is nothing like Henshaw and your instructors, that’s for sure). Your partner acts like a puppy and her kid is too tall. Helena is around and, damn if you don’t feel out of your depth, but welcomed.

This is going to be weird.

XxXxX

It takes little time for Kara to warm up to Linda. Linda might be a foot taller than her, but she is, to the core, a kid just a few months older than her. In fact, with Kal-El messing Kara’s birth date, Kara would be older than Linda by a handful of months, so it’s not a surprise that they get along. Kara being the older or the younger one doesn’t really matter now that she is playing tag with Linda and her friends.

That little fact, Kara’s age, official age, it’s something you are still discussing with Alex.

The calculation of Kori’s Name Day and Kortni’s testimony made Alex realize something she had been suspicious of before: that Kara is younger, biologically than what her parents decided to jot down on her forged papers.

Kara is, officially, eleven years old.

Biologically, she is ten.

Alex wants Kara to keep her age, at least on paper. She says Kara is already ahead in school and making her officially younger will put a strain on her relationship with her classmates. Kara, according to her age, should have started sixth grade a couple of weeks ago, but back at Gotham, Kara was already in seventh grade.

Your kid should be starting eighth grade now.

And, on one hand, you get it. Kara is rather small for her age, making her classmates tower over her, and her inability to read social cues sometimes makes her struggle with the mean, sarcastic and simply stupid preteens and teens. But, well, Kara is intelligent and quick to learn, you know for a fact she gets bored at school no matter what, so assign her in the “right” grade would be just cruel.

(Not that Alex would allow that either.)

That said, it wouldn’t really matter if she is ten or eleven, she is going to get bored, and struggle with her classmates no matter what.

Shouldn’t you let your kid celebrate her birthday on the proper date with the correct number of candles on her cake?

It doesn’t really matter at the moment, but you will need to revise this before Kara’s true Name Day comes to pass, you need to decide if you are celebrating on the date Kara was actually born or the day she came to Earth.

And if her cake should have eleven or twelve candles.

Kara doesn’t get to hang out with kids her age often, so it makes you smile when you see her running and squealing with Linda when she is tagged “it”.

Kori, on the other hand, has found a handful of older kids to play soccer with and she has been playing for the last hour or so.

The smell of meat cooking on the grill was too much at first for her, but thanks to Alex’s bracelets, she got used to it in little time.

She still keeps as far as possible from the grills, though.

“Your family is beautiful,” Karen says from her place beside you. You have been sipping a beer and getting to know each other better. Alex is the designated driver today and you are glad for that, you don’t think you would be able to meet the whole precinct without a little liquid courage.

You see Kori passing the ball to one of her playmates and you can hear Kara’s high squeal. Alex is off to the side, talking with Lowes and her husband, gesturing wildly in her usual adorkable self. The light hits her so that her hair is redder than brunette and you can see her hazel eyes sparkling with mirth.  “Yeah, they are,” you breathe out. You turn to her. “Your family is beautiful too.”

And it’s true. Linda is a cutie pie and she is open and patient with Kara. And Helena – you are not blind nor stupid, even when they didn’t say it out loud you know Helena and Karen are an item – is handsome in a way that would be attractive if your wife wasn’t the owner of your heart, and if Helena didn’t have a story with your best friend.

Helena hasn’t been around you or yours, but you can see her talking and laughing with some of the officers’ wives.

Karen waves the hand holding her beer dismissively. “Linda is a handful, I can tell you that. I’m not looking forwards her teens.”

You smile tightly. You can’t really relate. Kori is fifteen but she is not a human teen, her upbringing doesn’t allow her to act like a rebellious teen, and her biological development is simply different from a human.

Alex says Kryptonians develop in “chunks”: they stop growing and maturing for years and then, suddenly, they will “catch up” in a couple of months. Like humans, these stages vary according to each individual metabolism and Kara had her last major grow spur when she was six. Alex suspects Kori had one not too long ago, so Kori won’t be getting taller anytime soon.

These periods of growth are only physical, their psychological and psychometric development it’s an ongoing thing: Kori is more mature than an average teen her age, not only because she is a little soldier, but because of her thought process, how she sees life, is way ahead of her human counterparts by default.

And Kara, she might be an alien with Kori’s kind of development, but she is also a kid that, by human’s labels, is on the spectrum and asking her to act and behave like a regular kid is simply cruel and stupid. Kara is a little genius, both thanks to her own intelligence but also thanks to how Alex raised her: you really didn’t think molecular research and biology dissertations could be the occasional bedtime story until you met Kara.

Kara is really intelligent and, if she wasn’t more comfortable with staying with Alex all the time, you really think she would do amazing in a specialized boarding school of some kind. As far as you know that had been an option that Alex’s parents were contemplating shortly before they passed away, an option Alex’s then status as co-tutor was fighting against with all her might.

You are so glad Kara wasn’t shipped off somewhere if you are honest with yourself. You love your sunshine too much to have her living nine months a year far away from you.

“Kara will be an easy teen,” you tell Karen. “And Kori has proven to be easy to take care of too.”

Karen nods and looks around. “Tell me something… isn’t it weird?”

You look at her confused. “What is?”

“Suddenly having to take care of another girl… and to do so shortly after your kid was found.”

You frown. That question is not one you would like to answer.

The official version that you fed your boss, and thus your partner, is that Kori has been living with her aunt in Norway ever since their parents died. Kara, being too young, was shipped to the Danvers who were friends with the girls’ parents and was given their last name in order to let her live in the States easier.

Kara’s kidnapping was never linked to Kori’s sudden appearance other than Kori getting worried and wanting to live with her sister now that she is old enough to make that decision. As far as Karen knows, Kori wanting to live with you is not something you planned and, while she has no idea what really happened, her question is inconsiderate and rude.

So, you shrug. “I love them both,” you admit easily. “They are no burden or trouble.”

You can see from your chair how Kori misses intercepting the ball. The kids she is playing with are enough to have a small match played, and she was deemed her team’s goalie, and as long as you have seen, she is pretty good at it. Her reflexes are slowed with the bracelet she is wearing, but she is good enough and fast enough to hold her ground against teens older than her, most of the time, it appears.

Karen sighs with what you think might be ...sorrow? “I love my Linda, she’s the only reason I got up in the mornings for several years, but I don’t think I could take in another kid. I almost did, a few years back, he was this tiny thing, I was working his case, but in the end, I couldn’t.” She snorts, and you get the feeling that maybe she has been drinking more than what she should have. “Sorry, I know it was insensitive of my part asking you that, but I guess I’m marveled you let a strange kid live with you.”

You nod, understanding just a tad better what she is trying to say. “I get it, I think. But Kori is Kara’s sister, and she’s a good kid. She’s easy to like and she is mature enough that we can talk with her about everything. Her living with us has made us closer.”

And, now that you say it out loud, you realize it’s true.

Kori living with you has pushed you all even closer and that’s something you haven’t noticed until now.

You see how Kori yells something to her team mates and a kid that’s starting to grow a stubble takes her place at the makeshift goal. Kori is then jogging to you and you grunt when, taking a page from Kara’s book, she dives to your lap.

“Hey,” you tell her, startled. She is not usually this physical with you. “Did you get bored?”

Kori shakes her head, and you smile when you notice she is actually a little out of breath and sweaty. Your girls working out while wearing the bracelets is turning out to be something good for their health. “No. But I wanted to rest a little,” she says as she snuggles her back against your chest.

Karen chuckles at your side. “I see what you mean by her being easy to like.”

Much to your surprise, Kori’s cheeks flare with embarrassment, and you snort.

“Mommy!”

You grunt when Kara forcibly lands onto Kori’s lap, making her sister’s bony hip dig into your stomach. “Rao, Kara, easy,” you grumble, now accurately aware how Alex feels every time Kara lands on her bladder.

“Kara!” Kori complaints, pushing her sister off when Kara starts jumping up and down on her lap.

Kara pouts, but it lasts barely a second. “Aunties Kate and Renee are here!”

You see with amusement how Kara is off, running through the gathering while Kori settles more firmly on your lap.

“Kara! Slow down!” Alex’s voice is easily heard, and you notice that Kara’s antics have pulled most of the eyes to you. Everybody is looking at how Kara sprints to the newcomers and you shake your head when Kara launches at Kate and almost takes her down.

Kori snickers at the sight, and you sigh. “Late as always, eh, Kori?”

Karen looks at you with a raised eyebrow as Kori nods. “Do you know Montoya?”

This time, you are the one nodding. “Yeah. Renee is a friend, and to top it all, she is dating my sister-in-law.”

Karen’s eyes are on Kate now. She regards her for a moment before turning her head to where Alex is. You watch in amusement how she switches back and forth a handful of times, before turning to you again. “Your wife is the little sister, right?”

“Yeah, she’s the runt,” Kate comments. By the time Karen is done with her assessment, Kate has spotted you, and she has stopped beside you, and you take great pleasure in ignoring her.

You nod somberly. “Alex might be the baby, but her sister is the family’s brat.”

“Hey!” Kate protests and Kara giggles from her perch on Kate’s shoulders. “I resent that remark!”

“Mommy is right,” Kara says, still giggling. “You’re a brat, Auntie Kate.”

Kate gasps, offended. Her hand goes to her heart, and she falls on her knees before you, Kara squealing in delight at the sudden change of height. “Betrayed! Betrayed by my own family!”

You all laugh at her expense, even Karen, not used to this level of craziness, laughs with you.

“Kara! My sweet Kara! Turning on me!”

“Auntie! You’re being silly!”

Kate’s eyes settle on the kid on your lap. “Princess, please, tell me you love me still.”

You feel Kori tense for a second before she forces herself to relax. She shrugs. “Kara is right. You’re silly.”

Kate’s hand clenches over her heart. “Oh! Wounded again by my own family! You, you, you backstabbing kids!”

“Leave the girls out of this, Candy Kane,” you tell her in a snort, and you feel Karen’s eyes zero on you. “You’re the one being melodramatic.”

“Kane?”

Kara wiggles and Kate lets her slide down her back. “Auntie Kate is Kate Kane, right Auntie?”

Kate sighs dramatically, flopping on the grass. “The only thing I am is wounded, little princess.”

“Not five minutes and you’re already making a spectacle of yourself.”

Renee comes behind Kate, and she sighs, just as dramatically. Alex is with her, holding a couple of folding chairs, and you know they have spent at least a moment talking about how Renee really feels, if she needs meds or if she would rather sit down and be still and get through the gathering.

Judging by the chairs, Renee chose to sit still and let herself be pampered by the family. You know Kate, Kara, and Alex will surely make sure she is comfortable.

Renee’s arm is still on its sling and she is still a little pale, but she looks better than two days ago when you last saw her.

When Kate called Alex in hysterics two weeks ago, all of you entered in full panic mode. Renee had been shot and the hours it took you to arrive in Gotham were the hardest and longest of your life.

It was then that you fully understood why Kate _needs_ to be close to the family.

All of you, Kate, Renee and you, even Alex, will eventually lead a life full of dangers and injury is something that can come at any time. Being all together, in the same city a least, is a blessing, and once Kate stops being all twitchy and hyper sensitive over Renee’s graze, you will tell her that she did the best when she chose to move to National City.

Telling her now, it will only make her remember that Renee was shot.

And Kate is the worst when anyone she cares about is hurt.

Hence you know that Alex used the time Kate was distracted to assess how Renee is really doing. Kate and Renee flew from Gotham three days ago, and they have spent the time furnishing the suite at the top of the new Kane Tower. They will be living there until Kate and Renee find an apartment or house that pleases them, and that’s close enough to both their jobs.

Which means that Kate and Renee will be living within minutes from you. Not only the new Kane Tower was built in the same district as your building and your precinct, the one Renee asked to be transferred to, takes care of that same neighborhood.

Out of the four adults in your family, Alex is the one that will have to drive the farthest to get to work, but even then, her commute time is not the worst.

Once you sit down to choose a school to enroll the kids, you will have to take into account where everyone’s’ jobs and homes are to so you can work a drop-off and a pick-up schedule that actually works. You are not naive enough to think Kate and Renee will not be part of the kids’ school life.

“She is a drama queen,” Alex says. She sets the chairs down, but instead of sitting down, she gently pulls Kori from your lap and slides into her place _before_ pulling Kori onto hers.

You grunt when Kara decides to add her weight to the pile. Apparently, today is “Mommy is a chair” kind of day.

“Being dramatic runs in the family,” Kate counters. “Haven’t you seen yourself?”

Renee pokes Kate in the stomach with the tip of her shoe. “Don’t pester your sister.”

Kate sighs again, finally sitting up and pouting. “Why does everybody hate me?”

“Um, excuse me,” Karen says, and you turn to see she’s still shell-shocked. “Kate Kane?”

You snort and nod.

Kate is famous for her fortune and her scandals. But, apparently, she is not famous enough to really have her face plastered everywhere. Granted, pictures of her doing stupid stuff with the ladies at high-end functions are rare nowadays, and she has been pulling from the socialite scene, but still.

Kate Kane is a face that is easily recognized in the right circles.

And, apparently, the National City Police Department is not one of those circles.

“You are Kate Kane’s sister?!” Karen almost shrieks as she addresses Alex. She then stares at you. “Are you married into the Kane family?!”

“She’s adopted.”

“I’m adopted.”

You and Alex speak over each other, trying to downplay the whole thing because, at the end of the day, Alex is not Kate _Kane’s_ younger sister.

She is _Kate’s_ baby sister.

Kate who is an adorable ass and that would die before any of you get even the slightly hurt. Kate that made whole criminal syndicates look for Kara. Kate that welcomed Kori into the family as if the girl has always been her niece. Kate who will spend her whole fortune in cookies and toys and books and games if you let her, just to have Kara and Kori smile.

Kate who is moving her whole company to be close to you.

Kate who was a mess when Renee was hurt on a stakeout mission.

Kate who had to sleep with Alex that night, even when Renee was deemed fine, with just a nasty cut made by the bullet and a couple of cracked ribs.

Kate who has come to be your best friend and, after just months, be Alex’s sister in all but blood.

It’s weird that you dated Kate for a while and you don’t feel weird out by that.

But, well, it’s Kate.

Kate who is now giving you her usual mischievous smile, and you feel dread settle in your stomach.

“Say, baby sis… I was speaking to Susan the other day… She told me about this little green album she might have liberated from your house for me…”

Alex tenses and before anyone can say or do anything, Kate is up and sprinting for her life.

“Get back here, you dumb bat!” Alex wiggles, making the girls scramble to climb off her. They have learnt by now not to get between Alex and Kate when they start chasing each other. Something you are saddened to say happens too often.

Alex chases after Kate, and you shake your head at their antics. Kori steals one of the chairs that Alex brought after helping Renee into the other, and Kara climbs back to your lap.

“Do we want to know?”

You look up to see Lowes eyeing the stupid sisters that are getting littler and littler as one runs for her life and the other keeps yelling.

You don’t know what the “little green album” means, but if that information was provided by Susan, then it was “liberated” from Alex’s Midvale house.

And seeing how Alex reacted, it’s probably something cute, embarrassing or something that could be used as blackmail material, or probably a mix of those three.

“No, boss,” Renee says easily. “You don’t really want to know.”

Lowes nods. “At least promise me we won’t have a crime scene in our hands.”

Renee and you snort.

You won’t be making that promise.

“Kate Kane! Come back here!”

Yep. You are not making that promise.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _*Best Oprah voice*_
> 
>  
> 
> _You get a Kara, you get a Kara, everybody gets a Kara!!!!!!_
> 
> Whoa! Three Kara's in the same place, how awesome
> 
> _Hey, everyone, greetings from my house in the Twilight Zone._
> 
> So, I love how we have three versions of Kara here, Karen Starr, ( Kara Zor-L) Linda (Linda Danvers or Linda Lang whichever you like the most.) Do you think that we are going to see more versions of Kara? Because I would love to.
> 
> _Can I please say how much I love Lena? I love her so much, she is a cutie patootie, and she is also one of six reasons why I'm watching Supergirl season 3._
> 
> _Posting chapter 32 was really a nice experience and also a scary one, and answering comments was fun too, I may do it again sometime in the future._
> 
> _*Goes back to listen to 80's and 90's and 00's music while giving chapter 35 the final touches.*_
> 
> _Char is awesome!!_
> 
>  
> 
> She's the awesome one. I love her. 
> 
> ~~And I love my datemate too, but don't tell them that, cause their ego is gonna get huge and they won't fit their room anymore and then I won't be able to see them _soon_.~~
> 
> Chapter 36 _needs_ to be done this week, so I'm gonna try work on that faster and with much more enthusiasm.
> 
> Expect happy things, people, as I seem unable to do angst while really happy. ~~Tried. Didn't work.~~


	34. Midvale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last few months couldn’t be considered a vacation. Not really.
> 
> Spending time away from training and your other duties, due a suspension is not a vacation. Even when you know that the suspension was more or less of an excuse, your boss used to let you take the time off without having to answer annoying questions from your squadron.
> 
> Or the one where little Kara gets ice cream, Kori gets a cute new nickname, and the beta is once again a nervous wreck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to start this with an apology, I wanted to release this chapter yesterday as a "Thanksgiving Day" gift, but this last 10 days I have been sick, like really sick and yesterday was horrible, imagine one of the best days to eat everything that comes into sight and all I could eat was a bit of mashed potatoes. Also, I have moderate hypothermia (somehow) and I have been trying to avoid the doctor and trying to get my temperature to normal body temperature or at least getting out of danger zone with blankets and heating pads. 
> 
> Most importantly Kismet is going through some changes, but trust us, Kismet will be still going strong as ever.
> 
> Chapter 35 is also ready, has been since ages ago, but due to those changes that I mentioned before it's just being released now, if I'm not mistaken chapter 36 is almost ready and chapter 37 is in the works too, so never fear, Kismet will not die.
> 
> Sincerely,  
> The Beta.

  
The last few months couldn’t be considered a vacation. Not really.

Spending time away from training and your other duties, due a suspension is not a vacation. Even when you know that the suspension was more or less of an excuse, your boss used to let you take the time off without having to answer annoying questions from your squadron.

Out of the fifty recruits, you were training with, all of them pulled into the DEO from different organizations, and facilities, you were the only one that knew what you are training for. They all were under the impression they were training to be selected into a secret, and exclusive army program that required them to prove themselves before they were informed what their jobs really entailed.

By the time your suspension started, fifteen of those fifty were already out of the program, and when you were dropped in a room with what’s left of them, you are shocked to realize that only twenty-three, you included, are still up and running.

And still, none of them is ready to know what they are training for.

And, they all had the impression that you were cut from the program about two months ago. So, their shocked glares shouldn’t have surprised you, really. Especially if you take into account that you are back to work for three days out of six for the foreseeable future. Maggie will be doing something similar at her precinct for the next month or so, she will be chained to her desk focusing solely on paperwork until she can start working full-time again.

It makes no sense for Lowes to assign her any cases (yet) if the risk of her going home due to an emergency is high.

A similar scenario made Hank decide that you were required in the DEO the days that Maggie isn’t working that way, May, said that you can ease into training again and you can still finish the regimen with the rest of the recruits while you are at home the days your wife isn’t to take care of the girls.

Kara and Kortni weren’t happy to know that both Maggie and you need to get back to work. This is the first step all of you are taking to get back to a more normal life. You will keep up with your training using this schedule and Maggie and you will soon start working full shifts and full weeks.

The girls will, probably, start school in January. In the meantime, there are no more excuses for them to do as they pleased, they will have a tutor to let them catch up with the curricula of their current grades once Kara’s Name Day has passed.

Yes. Maggie convinced you that the right thing to do is let Kara celebrate her Name Day on the right date and with the right number of candles on her cake. When you talked with Kara about it – you wouldn’t try to change Kara’s celebration date _and_ her age without Kara’s own input – she was happy to get the chance to celebrate with Kori for the first time her own Name Day.

(She was also happy about being eleven still, something about Linda commenting that her reaching thirteen is a fact her mom laments constantly, you are not too sure about that.)

So. The moment they start with their tutor, after Kara’s Name Day, it’s the moment you get back to work full-time.

Both of you.

For the time being, you will take turns so there is always someone home for the girls.

And that’s how you ease into working again.

How Maggie starts finally using her badge and issued gun.

How Kori and Kara started reading books on school subjects.

How you start collecting bruises again.

How Maggie starts bringing files from work to revise after dinner, and on her “days off”.

How Kori starts wandering the city on her own, always with her phone in hand and after letting you know where she is going to go.

How you start going over medical trials you didn’t even think could exist, but fascinate you.

How Maggie starts going for drinks with her co-workers sometimes before rushing home for a late dinner.

How all of you start getting up at five in the morning so all of you can have a quick run around the neighborhood as a family before rushing back to have breakfast.

Rao, not three weeks in, you miss your “not really vacations.”

XxXxX

You duck low and swirl on your left foot as your right leg makes contact with the back of McAdam's legs, tripping him on the mat. You are on him in a moment, choking him while avoiding his frantic failing.

Three.

Two

O-

“Enough!” Hand yells.

You are off of him in an instant, rolling away and putting up your taped hands, ready to catch anything thrown at you.

You have won, again, however, you are ready to defend yourself even when the match is over. You are not stupid to think that this match is really over.

Kate taught you that, and it has already come in handy several times.

Slow clapping makes your focus swivel to the right. On the other side of the ropes, between suddenly parted, awkward and frowning, recruits, Hank is slowly clapping as he stares up at you.

Movement from where McAdams was supposedly down, prompts your alertness in an instant. You turn back to him just in time to catch a poorly aimed fist to your face.

Sore loser.

Crouching just a tad, you use the added thrust of your legs to power the undercut you deliver to his jaw.

The thudding noise he makes as his unconscious form meets the mat shouldn’t be that satisfactory.

Hand comes from the corner of the ring and pokes McAdams with the tip of her boots. “We didn’t teach you that,” she comments dryly.

You shrug. Most of the moves you use are ones Kate, Renee, and Maggie have taught you, not the ones the DEO insist you need to know.

Sure, you’ve learnt from the DEO too, but so far, it’s Kate’s moves that ones that always help you win in these matches and you won’t change how you fight.

“Hand,” Hank’s deep voice echoes in the gym room. “Take your kids to hangar three. Have them do jumps.”

Victoria Hand, one of the most badass women this organization has to offer, and the one in charge of the recruits, nods at that. “You heard the boss, kids! Move it.”

You jump over the ropes and start undoing your tapes, fully intent on following the rest of the trainees, when Hank’s voice reaches you.

“Sawyer.” Hank’s back is turned to you. He is watching as the agents file out from the room, making sure no one is left behind – even McAdams is carried out by two of the others – before he turns to you. Your back stiffens. “I need you to examine the new prisoner as soon as he’s installed.”

For the last week or so, Hank has started to give you more and more work and giving you less and less training time. May, your superior officer, the one that got assigned as your personal trainer, and the one that will be assigned as your handler _after_ your training is over, said once that you are in the program just because it’s mandatory that you really don’t need it, and that your role within the organization is already secured. You just need to clock in the minimal required time, even if you don’t use that time for actual training.

You will be a filed agent, yes, but your prime job is to help with the prisoners once they are within DEO walls and serve as a makeshift doctor for all the aliens that come around. You are head of your own lab, and your bosses ask you to analyze so many fluids that you really don’t want to know where they really come from.

You also get to invent cool stuff on your “down” time, which, if you are honest, it’s the only reason you like this job a little.

“Yes, sir.”

He nods, regarding you carefully. “I also need a word with you. In private. Now.”

You can feel the panic start to rise in your chest. You haven’t talked to him, at all since he suspended you.

The disappointment in his eyes that day was too big, and you have been trying your hardest to forget it.

And avoid him.

“Yes, sir,” you answer him dutifully.

“Come now, Agent.” He turns to the door and you know he is herding you to his office, just as you know you can’t really pretend to get lost on the way there.

You imagine Maggie’s presence at your side, keeping pace with you, following Hank alongside you. “It’ll be fine,” you hear her voice in your head.

You feel her fingers looped around yours and you concentrate on recreating the feeling of her dry skin against yours, grounding you, not letting your fear of being with Hank alone overpower you. “Okay,” you whisper, nodding once, trying to convince yourself. “Okay.”

You take a deep breath, letting Maggie’s ghost go. Right now, she is with Kara and Kori, probably ordering pizza for lunch. She will order it now so the girls can finish it before you get home and they can all pretend you don’t know their Mom is a pushover and lets them convince her of always buying them junk food.

You turn your thoughts on Kate, who had to go back to Gotham for the week and how she is probably landing now. You think on how she somehow wormed her way into your heart, at how she was the only thing keeping you standing when the mess with Kara and Astra and Kortni and Maggie suddenly leaving was threatening to consume you.

You think of Renee, just now getting better after being shot. How she kept watching the girls for hours at a time while the rest of you tried to fix the mess, at how she ditched work for more than a month so she could be with you, at how she is all supportive and all stoic and at the same time all soft and warm. How she is now going to move to National City with Kate to be near you, to be with her family, to let Kate be with her family.

You also think of Susan, who has been by your side since before Kara was delivered to your doorstep. You met her when you were fourteen, and since then, even when she was hours away, she has always had your back. She drove the four hours to Midvale and dug through your parents’ archives, bringing you the info you needed to treat Kara and Kortni. She had your back when CADMUS tried to take Kara, and she has seen your baby grow, blossom and thrive.

They all support you, they all love you, all of them are your family and facing Hank, disappointed Hank, with all of them at your back, ready to catch you if you fall, it shouldn’t be as scary at it is right now.

He is, he was, the only adult that took the time to listen to you. He was there to explain things without making you feel stupid. He was the only adult to see you, actually _see_ you. You were devastated when your dad came home after a field mission and told your mom he was done with those types of missions. His job from then on would be lab work only… sure you were glad he no longer put himself at risk, but that also meant no more visits from Hank, no more quiet conversations, no more space talk, no more of his steadying presence.

That year, the year your dad stopped with the missions, on your birthday, in came a small package wrapped in dark blue paper and littered with small stars, it had no return address or postage stamp, just your name. In the package was the watch you wear to this day. The heavy, bulky, manly thing that reminds of your younger years fondly. You remembered that day all the times Hank would look at it, constantly, almost frantically, as if it held the answers to all questions, to all of the universe mysteries.

Hank gifted you one of your most treasured possessions, and now, disappointing him, making him regret helping you, disappointing him like you disappointed your parents all your years growing up, it physically hurts.

“Sawyer,” Hank’s voice calls from within the office and you realize you somehow walked behind him all the way to his office without you noticing. “Close the door when you come in.”

Taking an even deeper breath, you go in and do as told.

Once the door is closed, you take a second to steel yourself before turning to see him.

He is standing to the side, near the window that allows him to see into the main area of the base. He stays still as he observes the floor below and the people working hard on it. Right now, most of his force is working on tracking down a couple of registered, but missing aliens, all of you think that maybe CADMUS was involved, but until you can prove that you are right, they are still looking for them.

In cases like this, the device that Wonder Woman’s daughter made has already come in handy several times. If the aliens were taken against their will, thanks to her device you can find them quickly.

At the same time, at least another dozen cases are being pursued, and that’s just the National City’s base, you don’t really want to imagine how many other cases are being processed right now on the thirteen bases the DEO has in the country and overseas.

Thinking on that would only make you ponder on the entire alien population, on those that came to Earth looking for refuge, on those looking for a place to conquer, on those looking for safety, on those looking for power.

It had made you think about how little you actually know.

“Alex.” His voice is gruff like it always is. Commanding and unyielding, but also warm and so familiar. So, so comforting.

“Sir?” You ask as you stand by him, ready to face whatever thing he needs to tell you.

Whatever punishment he deems necessary for not following protocol then – you know your suspension was a bluff, a concession he gave you so you could help Kara and Kortni better – for not thinking things through, for not consulting before doing, for not asking before acting.

For putting Kara at risk without making sure he knew the consequences.

(Rao, it’s been almost two months and you know he remembers it, you know you still need to atone for it. You know he’s been waiting for you to come back, for you to lower your defenses so his reprimand can be better delivered.)

Maggie might say she trusts you with Kara’s, and now Kortni’s lives, but you know better. Your pain and concern overruled your judgment and training, both your DEO and medical training.

You were stupid. and he knows it.

(Rao, you still feel so damn guilty when you think of it.)

You are looking down into the main floor, contemplating the agents coming and going, refusing to look at Hank. That’s why you jump startled when his hand comes to rest on your shoulder, squeezing comfortingly.

“You did well, Little Danvers,” he said, his voice soft, each word feeling like a gently caress.

“Sir?” you ask, voice small and confused, looking up at him.

“With Kara,” he specifies. “With the training. With Maggie. With Kortni. With the girls’ health. With everything, you have been doing, you are doing well.”

Suddenly, his earnest face became blurry and you blink once, letting your tears fall.

Suddenly, strong arms are pulling you against a broad chest.

Suddenly, a steady hand is at the back of your neck and head, gripping slightly, grounding.

Suddenly, you find your forehead smashed carefully against his collarbone.

Suddenly, his other hand goes to your back, rubbing up and down, up and down, up and down.

Suddenly, your tears are dampening his black polo.

Suddenly, a broken sob escapes your throat.

Suddenly, he whispers in your ear:

“I’m proud of you, Alex.”

XxXxX

The chat with Hank leaves you drained and, after checking the prisoner as you were asked, you find May and ask permission to have the rest of the day off.

She looks you up and down. “You look like shit.”

You snort. “Thank you. I haven’t noticed.”

You still can’t believe Hank didn’t scold you, didn’t reproach how you were so useless then, how you are still taking days off and how you sometimes take breaks to phone your kids and wife.

What you thought was a weakness, was the inability to let your girls be out your sight, Hank told you it was strength and loyalty and responsibility and simply love.

You don’t get it yet, and you need to talk with Maggie to know what all this means.

You are out of your depth here.

“Take the time,” May says. “Rest. Let your wife care for the girls, you need a break.”

You can’t help it, you chuckle.

May’s raised eyebrow, however, stops you abruptly. Shit. Skye was right. May is scary when she wants to. “What’s so funny about you, needing to rest?”

You shrug. “I’ve been resting for months now.”

Her glare, unbelievably, hardens, making you shift uneasily. “What you’ve been doing is working all the time. I know what’s to acclimate to a teen, Sawyer. And I know what’s to have a traumatized kid. What you’ve been doing is not resting.”

You blink at her, confused. “But-”

“No. You know I’m right. You haven’t rested in months.”

You sigh. She is not entirely wrong.

Between fretting over Kara’s problems with reality, Kortni’s learning English, Kara having separation anxiety, Kortni having questions about everything and anything. Between having the girls fight, reconcile, meeting Maggie’s family, fighting with Maggie’s family. Getting the news that Renee was shot, comforting Kate, helping your sister speed up the transition into National City.

… _After_ you looked for Kara for five weeks.

You have been too tired and so worn out. You have gained some weight, yes, but you are also not eating as Maggie would like you to. You always cook for six people, but most of your portion is usually given to the girls.

You are really just too tired to eat once you sit down and Kori’s shakes have come in handy when you really, really, don’t feel like eating. You try, though, at Maggie’s concerned glances, and Kate’s verbal reprimands.

But.

Yes, May is right. These past months haven’t been restful for you. At all.

You deflate before her.

“Take the rest of the week. Sleep. Rest. Come back on Monday and then, then I’ll run you through the ground.”

You smile. “Yes, ma’am.”

XxXxX

“… So… I might have the rest of the week off.”

“… _It’s Monday.”_

You sigh as you tug on your pants. After leaving May’s office, you took the time to take a long, hot shower, knowing that once you get home you will be dragged into some or another activity. It’s barely three and you are ready to sleep, but you know that’s not possible. “I know… I still have the rest of the week off. I was deemed, unfit to work.”

Maggie’s sharp intake of breath makes you wince. _“What happened?”_

“Nothing, Mags. Nothing.” Shit, why did you phrase it like that? “It’s just… May thinks I need to rest for a little while before coming back to work full-time.”

“ _So she gave you the week off?”_

“Well, we’re going back to work full-time next Monday, so, yeah.”

“ _Mmmm.”_ You can almost hear the doubt in her silence.

You start folding your used uniform. It’s not dirty enough to warrant leaving it on the hamper, so you will simply put it in your locker for you to use next Monday. “So… I guess that, if you want to go back to work tomorrow, you can. I will home in about half an hour, tops, if you want to go to the precinct for a couple of hours before dinner.”

You know Maggie has been really excited about going back to work. To go back to the streets. To help.

Unlike you, Maggie chose her career and job. She willingly, consciously and actively, shaped her life to become a police officer from the Science Division. She wants to become a detective in the next few years, and later in life, she wants to be able to reshape how the police act regarding aliens and meta-humans.

You, you never thought you would be working for something like the DEO.

Oh, you like what they stand for, what they do and what their goal is… but well, you have always seen yourself more as an alien physician or a researcher rather than an active agent of a shady organization.

Training is fun, sure, and you love hitting McAdams and Hurst, but still.

This is not the kind of job you ever wanted.

You don’t regret signing with the DEO in exchange for protection, no, never. You would do it again if it is required, but Maggie loves her job and she has been putting off for months her reentry in the force and you know she wants to be back as much as you want to dedicate your time to dissect alien tech.

Maggie makes a tiny sound that can’t really decipher, which is weird. You have reached a point in your relationship that you don’t even have to talk out loud to convey your feeling.

Your silences are eloquent enough most of the time.

“ _Come home and we’ll talk, okay, babe?”_

You finish putting your uniform and utility belt away. You aren’t allowed to carry your gun outside the DEO (yet), so you just make sure it’s stashed in your locker too before you leave the room.

You would fret about leaving your gun there, but your locker only opens to your biological signature.

And frankly, for what you have come to realize, the people working at the DEO are not the kind of people who could use your gun for something nefarious.

The weed-out process is too tedious and too long and simply too selective.

You don’t think McAdams will make the cut.

“Sure, love,” you tell Maggie as you leave the locker room. “I’ll be home soon.”

You can hear something on Maggie’s side of the phone, and you hear your wife murmuring softly, too softly for you to understand. So, you wait patiently for Maggie to get back to you.

“ _Your daughter wants cookie dough ice-cream,”_ Maggie informs you solemnly.

You snort. “Which one?”

“ _Your baby.”_

Of course. “I’ll stop by the store then. Anything else we need?”

“ _No. Just get home.”_

And Rao, don’t you want to go home and never leave.

XxXxX

“I called Lowes.”

You nod. Kori spent the morning wandering the park close to your house and Kara wore herself out painting, so you are taking advantage that the two of them passed out not long after dinner to have a nice warm, joint bath. “You’re starting tomorrow after all?”

Despite your offering, Maggie didn’t want to go to the precinct today, and she didn’t let you do much other than help peel some potatoes.

“It’s my day to cook, Al. Go sit with Kara or something,” she said. After months of living with Kara, Maggie’s cooking has gotten incredibly good. There are even some dishes she cooks better than you, and they are so good you salivate just thinking about them.

When you tried helping with the dishes it was, “Alex, go watch TV or something, the girls are going to wash and dry the dishes.” Kori has taken a shine to drying dishes and she and Kara have developed a system in which Kara puts everything away as soon as Kortni dries it.

And when you were about to clean Streaky’s litter box, “I’ll do it. Why don’t you go with the girls and choose a movie?”

Maggie has been awfully attentive, and that makes you feel out of sorts.

“No,” she says. “I actually told her I’m taking the week off. That we’ll see each other come Monday.”

You sit up and turn to face her at that. Up until now, you have been resting lazily on Maggie’s front, but you feel this is something you need to discuss face to face. “What?”

Maggie sighs, running a soapy hand through her hair. “I’m worried about you,” she tells you.

“Mags-”

“No. Hear me out.” She grabs your hands in both of hers. “After we got Kara you stopped eating-”

“I’ve gained-”

“Damn it, Alex. Let me talk.” You shut your mouth closed with an audible click. “You’ve stopped eating. You’re working out too much some days. You barely stay still when you can be resting. You don’t sleep. Hell, the trip to Nebraska was the most relaxed you’d been and even then, I could feel how tense you were all the damn time. That needs to stop.”

You feel your shoulders slump. “Maggie… you’re exaggerating.”

“Bullshit and you know it.”

Rao, her tone came out too hard. You gulp. “I’ve gained weight.”

“Not because you’re eating. I’ve seen you snacking on bars and you’re taking as many proteins shakes as Kori. Rao, you barely eat a goddamn whole apple.”

“That’s not true. I-”

“Alex. You had a dinner roll and a piece of broccoli for dinner tonight.”

You shrug. “I’ll eat some yogurt before bed.” Maggie’s hard scowl sends shivers down your spine. “Mag-”

“Don’t, Alex. Don’t.”

You sigh. “I’m not hungry. That’s all.”

“You’re never hungry anymore. We thought that not giving you coffee would make you want to eat again.”

You tense at that. “We? Coffee?”

“Kate is just as concerned, Al. And you know caffeine makes you go nauseous for hours. We thought that you not drinking coffee would bring your appetite back. It’s been almost two months and you’re still not eating.”

At the back of your mind, you wonder why Maggie took almost two months to confront you if she was as worried as she says is, but you know that Maggie never likes to push you and that she always let you come to her if you need help. This time, though, you don’t really think you need help.

You just want to sleep.

One day of sleeping, just one, and you will be back to your former self. Problem is, you can’t. There is so much to do, all the time.

“Maggie… I’ll eat I promise.”

She shakes her head. “Don’t promise something you have no control over.”

“Ma-”

“You need to reset, love. You’re also not sleeping, Alex, you’re worse than when you were in finals week.”

You wince. You on finals week has never been a pretty sight. All your work piled onto you, all the trials needed to be done before the deadline, all the exams you needed to take and all the exams you needed to apply.

“I’m sorry.”

Maggie shakes her head again. “No. There’s nothing to be sorry about you can’t control it. But love, we need to fix it.”

You nod. “I’ll work harder. I’ll mak-”

“Alex!” Maggie’s sudden reprimand makes you jump a little. “That’s the problem. You’re working too much! You need to rest.”

You scrunch up your nose. “I rest plenty.”

Maggie glares at you. “You wake up at five every morning. You go to bed past midnight, and you’ve been checking on the girls twice during the night.”

“Kara wakes up every night. You know that. I put her back to bed. And Kori has nightmares, you know that too. She’s been crying in her sleep a lot, I try to help her with that.”

“But you’re not sleeping. That and the lack of food are going to destroy you.”

“I’ll be fi-”

“May Rao save your ass if you say something stupid as ‘I’ll be fine,’ Alexandra.”

The use of your full name in this setting is strange. Should you feel worried? “… Okay. I won’t say that.”

Maggie sighs again, massaging her temples. Shit, you have given her a headache. “I spoke to Kara.” You tense again. “I asked her how we can let you relax and she said it’s been too long since you last surfed.” She looks at you, dead in the eye. “Do you think going surfing would help you?”

You blink once. Twice. Then, panic starts clawing at your chest. “Kara knows about all this?!”

“No.” Maggie’s instant reply make you relax marginally. “I asked her, but she hasn’t noticed anything. Neither have Kori, I don’t think.”

You nod. The last thing you want is for the girls to think, even remotely, you’re wasting away because of them. Rao, no, you can’t let them notice. You need to fix this. ASAP.

“I think I need help,” you tell Maggie honestly. “I-I don’t know what to do.”

She pulls you to her, making you straddle her lap. The kiss she gives you is languid and you can almost taste the relief on her tongue. “I love you, Alex. With all my heart. We’ll fix this.”

“I love you too, Maggie. More than life itself.”

XxXxX

National City is surfer-friendly.

The beaches attract several tourists every month of the year, and you could totally pick one of the less visited ones and spend the day surfing your worries away.

Maggie and Kara are right. Surfing could help. Really help.

But…

Part of you; doesn’t want to go surf on a beach full of tourists.

Part of you; doesn’t feel like renting a board for the day.

Part of you; doesn’t feel like fighting for the waves.

Part of you; doesn’t want to drive whatever long it takes you to arrive at the beach, knowing you like to surf either really early or really late.

Part of you; doesn’t want to surf at all.

Part of you wants to simply curl up in bed and let Maggie deal with the girls for one day and forgo all surfing.

“Let’s go to Midvale,” Maggie says after breakfast when you convey all this to her.

You pause mid washing a plate. “What?”

Maggie shrugs as she rinses a glass. “You can use your own gear. The beach will be within walking distance. You don’t have to face countless tourists, and I promise I’ll take care of our meals. You can spend the whole day at the beach if you want.”

“Midvale,” you repeat, dumbly.

“If you want to.”

“But… Midvale.”

If you’re honest with yourself, going back to Midvale scares you a little. You haven’t been there since your parents died and you don’t really have a reason to go back. Susan did you the amazing favor of going to your old house for your mom’s journals, allowing you avoid that whole mess for a little bit more.

You have a maintenance team going there, regularly, so you know the house is not in ruins. You also packed away anything that seemed important in your mom’s old lab in the basement, so that hasn’t been touched either.

You should really go there, and go through it all, see if there’s something Susan didn’t notice.

And you miss the beach you grew up in.

And you kind of want to use your old surfboard again.

And maybe Kara would like to bring some of her books with her now that you are close enough to bring them and you won’t be moving for a long while.

And you got to see where Maggie grew up, wouldn’t it be nice for her to see where _you_ grew up?

“It’s a four-hour drive. We can get back on Saturday and pig out all day Sunday.”

“Tomorrow is Kara’s Name Day, though,” you remind her.

“And we can celebrate there, just as easily as we can here.”

You have to nod at that. You usually take Kara to five different restaurants so she can eat at all of them starting at lunchtime and finishing after dinner time. It’s a tradition you have gotten yourself into when she was five, and you visited for the first time after you started school again. It was the only way your kid would let you go back to school after the long weekend.

This time, though, Kara asked you to cook for her a grand dinner instead of going out. You don’t know why she chose that, but Kate and Renee are not around to celebrate with you as Kate has things to settle in Gotham and Renee went with her to finish ironing the details of her transfer.

And, you didn’t invite Lois this year. Ever since she broke up with Kal-El, since Kara was taken, your relationship with her fell off the wagon. You spoke to her heavily during those first weeks Kara was kidnapped, pleading her to convince Kal to help. She claimed she was doing her best that she was begging him to come to National City, but, after two weeks with her telling you that she was still trying, you started wondering if she was indeed as concerned as you were with the whole situation.

Lois has always been distant when she spoke with you. Her mind is always in her next piece, in her next interview, in her next prize-worthy story. You don’t doubt she was worried about Kara being missing, but you also think she never understood exactly that Kara was _taken_. You know she likes Kara, you know it, but you also know, you think that she couldn’t help, but treat Kara’s missing case as any other missing child case out there.

Which is stupid and so self-centered. But somehow, you get it.

Once Maggie came back and your efforts to get Kara were renewed with the sudden help of Wonder Woman and her Amazons, you stopped calling Lois.

She never called you after that, to check on you, to check on Kara.

You sent her a text, letting her know Kara was back.

She sent you a smiling face.

So, yeah. You didn’t invite Lois – Rao, you like her and you know she likes Kara, but still, it stings – and you surely didn’t invite Kal.

Susan was sort of invited, but she was sent to Coast City, again. Up until now, you didn’t know that Susan’s brand of crazy is better suited for the DEO’s Coast City’s facility, where they mostly develop spyware and computer tech.

You also toyed with the idea of inviting Hank or Karen and Linda, but your relationships with them are still too fragile and very new. You might have known Hank from your childhood, but he is now your boss and you are not comfortable with him around… Yet.

“We haven’t even brought the things for her dinner,” Maggie says casually after the dishes are finished.

You sigh. “Let’s talk to the girls first.”

XxXxX

“Mama, no!”

You sigh. “Mama, yes, Kara.”

“Mama, no!” she yells again, fat crocodile tears dripping down her cheeks. “Mama!”

Kortni shifts uneasily next to Kara’s booster seat, and you have to fight the urge to massage your temples. Instead, you keep buckling up your kid. You feel so tired and so out of sorts. You don’t have the will to fight Kara today. “Kara. We have a four-hour long drive ahead of us. I’m not letting you go without the booster seat.”

“Mama!” Kara starts failing her legs, and you sidestep to dodge her shoe when she accidentally kicks it off.

“Kara!” You snap at her, and you feel so incredibly guilty when she ceases all movement for a second before she starts crying heavily and loudly.

You can’t help the groan that leaves your lips. You massage your temples now, trying to chase away a sudden migraine.

Damn. Your head feels so fucking stuffy.

“I’m sorry,” you say honestly, weary. You grab onto Kara’s hands, silently asking her to look at you. “I’m sorry I snapped, baby. I’m sorry.”

Kara nods, still crying. You undo all the straps and quickly bring her to your chest.

“A-Alex?” Damn it. Kortni’s voice sounds so hesitant and small. This is the first time she sees you, losing your cool.

You look at Kortni over Kara’s head and open one arm for her. You are immensely grateful she doesn’t hesitate in climbing over Kara’s seat and rushing to join you outside the SUV, embracing your waist and hiding her face against your shoulder. “I’m sorry, girls… I’m sorry I snapped.”

You leave a kiss on Kara’s hair, then on Kortni’s.

“You are mad,” Kortni states, muffled against your bare skin.

“No.” Yes, you are. You are mad at yourself, at how you are starting to fall apart. At how you are losing your temper. At how you are not being able to cope. At how you have reached this state of absolute disaster. At how your head is starting to spin. “I’m tired, love. Just tired.”

“Hey, guys.” Maggie comes with the last of your bags and Streaky in her pet carrier. “What’s wrong?”

When you asked the girls at lunch if they wanted to take a little road trip and visit Midvale, Kortni was curious, and Kara was surprisingly excited. Your youngest wanted to show her sister where she grew up, where she got to play when she was little, and her excitement quickly passed onto Kortni, who, you have come to realize with the trip to Nebraska, really likes to be in a car for hours at a time if there are things interesting enough to see on the roadside.

Kortni had a blast seeing the cows and the grass and the bare expanse of the Nebraska highways.

And the road to Midvale should provide with the same kind of entertainment for your oldest.

For Kara, though, trips in a car.

_~Kara doesn’t want to use the_ “booster seat,”~ Kortni informs her.

Maggie sighs and she sets to put the bags in the truck and the cat on the second row, between Kara and Kortni’s seats. The girls packed enough clothes for a week, three of Kara’s plush toys and Kortni’s laptop. You have planned to bring stuff from your house, so what they were allowed to pack is little.

However, you are going back to Midvale for more than a couple of days, so you are also bringing along all your perishables, and some of the food you know won’t be edible once you come back on Saturday night.

Your truck might be a little full right now after adding the cat’s bed, the cat’s food, and its spare litter box.

“Kara,” Maggie comes around once the trunk is closed. She gently takes her from your arms, and you simply hug Kortni closer to yourself with your now unoccupied arm. “You need to use the booster seat… it’s for your safety.”

“N-No, Mommy!” Kara says between sniffs. She is not making much noise now, but she’s still crying heavily. She is clutching at Maggie’s shirt and shit, her left thumb is caressing her lower lip. “Don’t wanna!”

You bite your lip hard enough to almost draw blood. This is stressing Kara too much. This is making you all jumpy and snappy. “I don’t think this is a good idea,” you tell Maggie quietly. “We should stay.”

Maggie looks at you intently, then her eyes shift to Kortni, who is peeking at her from her hiding spot against you, and finally, they settle on Kara.

Kara, your baby girl, who is still crying and now it’s also sucking her thumb. Damn.

“No.” Maggie’s tone is hard, harder than you have heard in a long while. “We are going.”

“Mags…”

“No, Alex. You need this.” She doesn’t keep her eyes from Kara. “You both need this.”

You close your eyes, feeling so fucking stupid. Of course. Kara isn’t being fussy about the booster seat. Dammit, she used it back in Nebraska with little to no complaint.

… She is not even fussy about the road trip. She knows she will fall asleep an hour into it.

… She is not crying because you snapped at her.

… She is not sucking her thumb because you made her cry.

No.

She is in fucking hysterics because you are going back to Midvale, and maybe she doesn’t know how to express it, but if you are feeling like shit with just simply thinking about going back.

… You cannot even begin to imagine how your ten-years-old kid feels?

XxXxX

Kara wears herself out soon enough and she is pliant when Maggie straps her down on her seat, making sure the opening of Streaky’s pet carrier faces her so Kara can pet her easily through the bars. Kortni too is meek, and she climbs on her seat and does her seat-belt without being told.

And for some or another reason, Maggie insists you ride at the very back of the SUV.

You really don’t have the energy to argue, the pounding in your head it’s becoming unbearable, so you go climb at the third row, and using the neck pillow Maggie gives you, you pass out ten minutes after leaving the building.

XxXxX

You wake up with a shiver.

Your sleeveless tank top leaves your arms exposed, and you faintly notice your legs are covered with what you think is one of Kara’s blankets, your equally exposed legs don’t feel cold at all.

Your neck is stiff and as you shift your spine snaps, relaxing your muscles. Your mouth felt as if something died in there and your eyelids feel so heavy. The pounding in your head it’s gone, and it is the place a dull pressure letting you know you will be sluggish for the rest of the day.

Your nose twitches and you notice the air smells different. It’s crisper than usual and a little bit saltier. It also feels somewhat heavier.

And familiar.

You crack your eyes open and see that the sun it’s setting, the orange glow making the sea shine like you haven’t seen in years.

Maybe that’s because you haven’t visited this particular part of the ocean in a really long time.

“Maggie says dinner is almost ready.”

You almost jump when you notice Kortni standing on the other side of your open window. “Rao, kid, you scared me.”

Her smile is tiny and a little shy. You get rid of the pillow and the blanket then you take off your seat belt and stretch like Streaky normally does.

“Dinner is almost ready,” Kortni repeats.

You bend your neck this and that way, satisfied when it cracks audibly. “How long was I out?”

You don’t need to check to know the trunk is probably empty and that Kara and Streaky are making a mess in the living room.

_~We got here about two hours ago.~_

Uh? Fuck. You slept six hours straight!

_~And why didn’t you wake me?~_

Kortni takes a step to the side, letting you climb out. Damn, your foot is numb. You shouldn’t have slept that long seated. _~Maggie said you needed the rest. Kara was asleep when we got here too, so Maggie and I set the house up and Maggie put Kara to sleep on the couch.~_

_~Is Kara still sleeping?~_

Kortni shakes her head. _~She just woke up. Can we go eat?~_ She asks, and you hear her tummy rumble. _~I’m hungry.~_

You snort. _~Of course, love.~_

You tuck Kortni to your side, your heart feeling strangely light given where you are, and start towards the two-story house.

You use the short walk to the porch to notice the little things that you might need to have fixed. The paint is a little chipped near the ground, and the wood columns on the porch clearly need a coat of polish. The roof is good, you have made sure that is constantly repaired and the maintenance company it’s doing its job, keeping the lawn tidy.

Seeing your old house should have made you feel some sort of nostalgia or even some kind of excitement, but well, you don’t really feel anything other than a little dread at the thought of seeing your mom or dad greeting you at the door.

It’s impossible, they are dead, but, still.

“Alexandra and Kara Danvers?”

You and Kortni stop just as you are about to reach the porch. You turn to the street and damn. “Hello, Miss Crane.” You were low-key hoping that the noisy woman who lives across the street would be dead by now. After all, she was old enough to pass away when you were a kid. “Not quite, Miss Crane. This is Kortni, Kara’s sister.”

The old lady fumbles with her glasses and manners dictate you should invite her in. It’s not like she didn’t babysit you and Kara every now and then. But, It’s Miss Crane.

Almost as if saved by heaven, the front screen door opens and out comes a sleepy and messy-haired Kara. “Mama,” she says with a yawn. “Mommy says the food’s going to get cold.”

You nod to Kara and gently push Kortni to join her sister. “Close the screen before Streaky makes a run for it,” you order them softly. You can see yellow fur ball is waiting for them to come in so she can escape. Turning again to the old lady, you wave. “See you around, Miss Crane!”

You flee into the house and take a deep breath. The house smells like Maggie’s famous enchiladas and your stomach grumbles. You left home around midday after having a light lunch, and it is only now that you realize how hungry you really are.

You notice right away that either Kortni or Maggie have folded and piled up the sheets that were covering the furniture and that all the windows are wide open, no doubt to let the musty air be replaced with the fresh breeze that carries from the ocean.

You look around and decide that you must tip the maintenance company generously as soon as you are back home. They have kept the house clean, and the dust you were expecting to find is nowhere in sight. You miss the potted plants around the house, but no matter what, you know that having plants in an empty house is simply cruel and you gave them away as soon as you were able to your mom’s gossip circle.

You hope the plants survived those vultures.

“Mama! Mommy made cheesy enchiladas!”

You smile. Kara is finishing setting the forks and Kortni is bringing the salad to the table. Maggie is by the oven, bent over and getting her enchiladas out. Damn if that’s not a dish you love. You wonder when you got tortillas, though, as you don’t remember having any back home.

“Alex, do you want iced-tea or water?” Kortni asks you as she pours herself a glass of the water. Try as you might, Kortni and Maggie haven’t fallen in love with the iced-tea Kara and you swear by.

You guess Kortni has to take after Maggie in some way at least.

“What kind of question is that?”

Kortni grins at you, cheeky little thing, and serves you your iced-tea.

As soon as she is done with the silverware, Kara sits on what would be her spot at your dining table back in National City, not the spot she used to have at this particular table and Kortni follows suit, seating herself next to her sister. Maggie comes from the kitchen and set the two huge iron pots she cooked in down. Damn, you haven’t seen those in _years_.

However, your heart swells at the sight of the familiarity and the comfort and the normalcy of the scene.

“Are you going to stand there and watch us eat?”

You roll your eyes at Maggie, but walk to wash your hands in the kitchen sink. “I’m coming. I’m coming.”

“Mama!” Kara’s enthusiasm and happiness let you know that she has forgiven you for snapping at her before coming here, and for that, you are immensely grateful. Kara’s easiness to forgive still astounds you. “Kori dusted the whole house and got so dirty!”

Your eyebrows rise at that, and you pause behind Kortni’s chair to gently comb her hair with your fingers. It’s damp. “Really?” You ask genuinely surprised. “But you hate dusting.”

Kortni cranes her head back to see you. You notice the faint blush in her cheeks. “Maggie wanted to have the house clean, and she let me super-speed through it.” She shrugs. “It was no problem.”

Maggie chuckles. “Dusty here did great, Al. She had to take a shower, after all that dusting, though.”

You raise an eyebrow as you sit down next to Kori. “Dusty?”

Kara giggles. “Mommy said she looked like an old duster, all dusty and stuff” she informs you proudly, making Kortni pout.

You chuckle, passing Maggie your plate to be served your enchiladas. Rao, they look amazing. “That’s cute.”

“I don’t like it,” Kortni complains, serving Kara, who is sitting in front of her, some salad.

Maggie shrugs. “Nicknames are like that. One does not usually like them.”

“Why do we have nicknames?” Kortni asks around a mouthful of salad. _~We are too old for them.~_

Maggie and you exchange a glance. _~I guess this is just something we do,~_ you answer her. _~Our family simply uses nicknames. And don’t talk with your mouth full.~_

Kortni swallows before speaking again. “Is this a human thing? Or an American thing?”

“Mmm,” Maggie musses. “I think that it really varies. I mean, we use nicknames all the time, but I know of families that don’t.”

You shrug. _~It’s just how we are, little star.~_

Kortni chews slowly, thinking over what you have told her. Kara is oblivious to all, her enchiladas and salad too important for her to pay you three any attention.

Maggie, however, knows that letting Kortni over think things can bring the mood down, so, she looks up to you, mischief in her eyes. “We all have nicknames, Kori. Right, Mama Bear?”

You snort at the nickname that was given to you by your sister. However, you regard your wife for a moment, thinking. The only nickname you know Maggie ever answered to was Baby Sinclair, a name given to her by her brothers when she was a preschooler kid, and that is not a nickname you would feel comfortable borrowing anything soon. “You don’t, though,” you comment idly. “We need to fix that.”

Maggie startles, blinking at you with true shock. “Huh?”

“Auntie Kate says Mommy is a shortcake and that she used to call her tater tot often,” Kara says, letting you know that she wasn’t that absorbed in her food after all.

You eye Maggie. “Really? Tater tot?”

Your wife shrugs one shoulder. “As if you don’t know your sister.”

“What’s a tater tot?”

Maggie smirks and answers Kortni, “I’ll make some of those soon. You are going to love them. They have potatoes in them.”

You oldest brightens at that.

Kortni and her love for potatoes is something that won’t ever cease to amaze you. Kori, pretty much like you, would try anything and everything – provided it doesn’t have any meat – but she favors citruses and potatoes above anything else.

Which have led her to have some weird mixes on her plate when she is left to her own devices.

“I like shortcake,” you tell Maggie as you pretend you are focused solely on your food.

“Shut it, hazelnut.”

You smirk. “At least hazelnut cream is sweet… tater tot.”

Maggie narrows her eyes at you. “Keep it up, and I’ll start calling you allycat. Which rhymes with your sister’s bratty bat.”

You show her your hands in surrender. Allycat is simply awful. “I won’t say a word.”

Maggie nods, satisfied.

All of you eat in relative silence until Kortni complains again, “I don’t like ‘Dusty.’ I like ‘Little star.’” She stabs a bite of enchilada with her fork. “Even Kate calling me princess is better and princesses are dull.”

Kara’s head snaps towards her sister. “Princesses are the best!”

Kortni scrunches her nose up but doesn’t engage.

You are so proud of her.

“But it kinda makes sense!” Maggie defends her choice. “Your name is literally stardust!”

“Little star is still better.”

You shake your head, and it’s Maggie’s turn to pout. _~Don’t torment the kid, love. Let her be.~_

Your wife sighs. _~Fine…~_

The melodramatics steal a giggle from Kara and a snort from Kortni.

And you smile, regarding the picture you are making.

It’s different from what you are used to, but at the same time, it’s so familiar. For so many different reasons.

This might be an alien table and an alien house and an alien air and an alien tableware. But it’s still the same table and the same house and the same air and the same tableware you grew up with.

For your family, for the family you love and cherish and adore, this is different – even Kara is acting as if she didn’t grow up here too.

And for the house that holds so many memories and so many sleepless nights and so many regrets; this family is new and different and so, so, so, opposite from what it’s used to.

You look at one of the portraits that still hang on the wall, a portrait of you at twenty with an even tinier Kara and your parents. It’s the last photo you took as a family. It’s a picture that reflects how you all were miserable when you were forced to be together.

The teary eyes Kara has, the thin lips your dad sports, the barely-there frown in mom’s brow and your own anger shows exactly how awful your life was.

So, you look at your family, at the one you have built.

And smile.

This is yours. You made it.

It’s precious.

And you are happy.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on, I won't trust when we have a fluffy chapter because somehow the angst always comes back with a vengeance, but at least our family is okay at the end.
> 
> I don't like to see our family suffering, but I guess that everything can't be fluff upon the fluff.
> 
> And I love Kori "Dusty" Danvers-Sawyer. LOL!!!
> 
> Kate is so funny, calling Maggie, shortcake and tater tot. 
> 
> I'm going to try my best to upload chapter 35 faster this time. It's been ready for ages now, waiting to escape to AO3.
> 
> Also, I'm so angry for what the CW did to Sanvers, I mean, they could have handled Flo's exit from the show in so many ways, than what they did to them, Alex was so OOC, they made her seem like she was going to die in .0001 seconds if she didn't get a kid, like what? still two episodes after that disaster and yet, no kid, and she is still alive.  
> How about Maggie going back to Gotham for some urgent reason, how about a secret mission that only Maggie could do? How about if they let them enjoy their marriage for a little bit and then maybe fostering a kid? To see what it feels like to take care of a kid, to see if they are ready for such monumental responsibility.  
> But in the end, poor Maggie wasn't enough. And that breaks my heart.


	35. Ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara’s loud squeal makes you laugh, especially as it’s followed by Kori’s indignant sputtering. 
> 
> ~Kara!~
> 
> Your youngest splashes her sister and quickly swims away. Kori has proven that she can get really rough with her sister and them being rough in the water it’s not something you fancy. Yesterday, Kara had a small fright when her sister dunked her for a really long time so, Kori knows she cannot do it again. Still, Kara is not dumb and she flees as quickly as she can before she has to pay for her prank or be scolded for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is embarrassing, I am really sorry, my health wasn't really helping, after suffering from sores and hyperthermia, I got the flu and bronchitis. So, yeah, yikes! 
> 
> I'm finally back hoping to be able to post more often, and like I've said before Kismet is going through some changes (good changes I hope) but not to worry, I will NOT let Kismet die. 
> 
> Sincerely,  
> The Beta.

#  35 Ocean

Kara’s loud squeal makes you laugh, especially as it’s followed by Kori’s indignant sputtering.

_~Kara!~_

Your youngest splashes her sister and quickly swims away. Kori has proven that she can get really rough with her sister and them being rough in the water it’s not something you fancy. Yesterday, Kara had a small fright when her sister dunked her for a really long time so, Kori knows she cannot do it again. Still, Kara is not dumb and she flees as quickly as she can before she has to pay for her prank or be scolded for it.

You can see Alex paddling her board close to Kori. From your spot in the sand, you can’t hear what she is telling her, but you see how she helps Kori on her the board again and ruffles her hair before squeezing her shoulder.

Yesterday was spent playing in the sun, surfing like today and lounging around on the beach that is within walking distance from Alex’s family home. Kara, in a move that reminded you of yourself, asked Alex to forgo cooking her Name Day dinner and instead asked for takeout of all the restaurants she grew up loving.

It’s a statement of how much food you ordered; that today you got to eat cold pizza for breakfast and for lunch, you plan on reheating leftover cheesy lasagna.

Kori, like with everything she does, took to surfing like a well, like a fish in the water. Yesterday Alex spent a couple of hours teaching her all she knew, and today Kori is totally killing the waves, when Kara decides not to show up in the middle of the barrel and crash Kori’s performance, that’s it.

Kori learnt yesterday that she likes the Shortboards better and she hasn’t parted with Alex’s neon orange board for hours. You are mostly certain Alex will bring back some boards with you and that the orange one will be one the first things she is going to pack.

Kara, sweet Kara, mischievous Kara, knows how to surf thanks to her Mama, but she really prefers to catch a ride with Alex or you than surf on her own. Right now, you can see her climbing on Alex’s board, getting herself ready to ride a wave with her Mama and you are certain Alex is telling her to stop annoying her sister as she turns her longboard around to find another wave.

Alex’s quiver is varied and you are amazed she was allowed to keep that many surfboards as you are aware of how her parents were so against her surfing. She owns two longboards, three shortboards and a fish one, which you stole yesterday when you joined your family in the ocean.

Today, though, today you don’t think your skin will be happy with you if you into the ocean again.

No matter how much sunscreen you use, you simply cannot avoid getting sunburned. So, you are simply lying around under a huge-ass umbrella, reading one of the many pocket novels your wife had stashed in her room.

Wait until Kate hears about Alex’s trashy novels hidden collection.

_~Kara!~_

You look up at how Kara has, again, crashed Kori’s wave. You see how Kori wastes no time in launching herself to Kara, dunking her and yelling things you don’t really hear or understand.

What Kara loves to do most, above swimming and riding with her Mama, is to make sure neither her Mama or her sister conquer a wave at all. Even when you and Alex have told her several times to let Kori be, she still keeps ruining her big sister’s chances of catching a wave.

Alex comes by them again and she easily plucks Kara out of the water and out of Kori’s reach. She is glaring at both girls, you are sure, even if the distance makes it hard to see. She talks to them for a minute and yes, she is scolding them.

Kori starts paddling towards you, closely followed by Alex with Kara on her longboard.

The closer they get, the easier it’s for you to see that Kori’s cheeks are a dark pink and that Kara is pouting up a storm. Alex’s barely contained smile, however, lets you know that nothing too bad has happened.

However, you are ready for the three women in your life with a slight scowl in place.

_~What’s the matter?~_ You ask them seriously the moment they have let the board next to your beach chair and they start drying themselves with the towels you have brought. The beach is practically empty, so you don’t censor your use of Kryptonian.

Kara flops next to you, all dramatics and all teary eyes. _~Mama said that if we couldn’t play nice, we couldn’t play at all.~_

Alex shakes her hair out. It stands in every direction. _~Kara, I told you that next time you messed with Kori you would be getting a time out.~_ Kara whines beside you and your wife turn to Kori, who is now sitting on your other side. _~And we told you not to dunk Kara. At all.~_

Kori’s blush intensifies, and you wonder if that’s from anger at Kara being annoying.

You have your answer when she looks down in embarrassment, and mumbles, _~I’m sorry.~_

Alex sighs and kneels in front of her. _~Hey, look at me, little star.~_ Kori glances up, and you have to smile at her unconscious pout. _~We’re not mad. We simply want you to remember you can’t dunk Kara. Just as we want Kara to remember she can’t mess with your_ “waves.” _~_

Kori nods. _~I’m still sorry.~_ She turns to Kara. “I’m sorry I dunked you.”

“I’m sorry I crashed your waves,” Kara answers her honestly.

Alex smiles and touches Kori’s cheek with her fingertips, making Kori focus on her again. _~Thank you, girls. But now, cheer up. You can go back to the water in half an hour.~_

Kori smiles back and nods.

You sense movement on your other side, and you speak without looking. “Don’t you dare, Kara Álainn. You’re on time out too.”

You turn in time to see Kara slumping back into place. “Yes, Mommy.”

Alex snorts and flops on top of you, her tankini and skin moistening your pareo, and the sand they dragged mess your, until now, clean feet. “Alex!” you groans. “You’re wet.”

You see your wife biting her lip, and her form shakes with silent amusement as she wiggles around so her head is tucked under your chin. “The kids are here,” she says easily and with a laugh in her voice. “So, no.”

You groan at her, regretting your choice of words. “You sound like your sister!”

Alex’s satisfied chuckle is interrupted by Kara’s jumping on Alex’s back. She wiggles around, making Alex groan now. “Kara!” she whines now. “My bladder!”

Your youngest giggles. “Sorry, Mama.”

You look to your right and notice Kori frowning a little. “If you want to wager your odds at not falling, you can try jumping on Kara, but if not, there is more space on the left.”

Kori’s blush comes back, but she goes around you and snuggles in the space that’s between you and the edge of the chair. It’s a tight fit and the warmth the sand emanates, even when you are in the shadow, the sound of the crashing waves, bring a sense of calm and tranquility that you have missed.

Damn, Alex is not the only one that has struggled for a while now. Granted, you are happier than she is about going back to work. You are also resting more and eating like Rao’s dictates it. But this tranquility is something you needed too.

After the fiasco that was you visiting your family, you haven’t really unwound either. Nightmares were nonstop for a while, and, even when Alex never mentioned it, you know the reasons for her to wake up several times during the nights are not only for the kids.

Every time you wake up, cold, shivering and covered in sweat, not remembering what you dreamt about, Alex is there, wide awake, soothing your fears away. She wakes up earlier than you every day so she can take the time to make you lunch before you all go running, so you can have something to eat at the precinct because once you are back home from running all of you are rushing around to start the day. She recently made sure to cook what you like the most lately in the efforts of making you smile.

She is a godsend, and you love her with all your soul. And that is why you have been so worried about her.

You know how Alex can reach a point where she simply isn’t able to deal with the stress anymore. You have seen her on finals week. When the principal called you about Kara. When Clark came around a year ago. You have seen her during Kara’s kidnapping. And that is nothing compared to what you are seeing now.

Alex is not eating, not sleeping, and frankly, not allowing herself to live.

She is always looking for things to do, for things to build, for trails to analyze, for books to read.

She hasn’t let herself _relax._

You are so glad her SO sent her home for the week.

Alex lets out a deep sigh and you smile, feeling her weight settle deeper into you.

_~Is she asleep?~_ Kortni murmurs at your side.

You peek at the two dead weights on top of you. Alex’s easy breathing is tickling the valley between your breasts, and the sight of Kara’s gentle sucking lets you know that “yes, Kori. They are both out.”

Kori wiggles against you, and you almost jump away when a pointy knee digs on your side. _~If I fall asleep… does that count for the_ “time out?”

You snort softly enough not to bother your two sleeping beauties. “No, Dusty. It doesn’t.” Kori whines and you smirk. _~However, I won’t tell Alex if you don’t tell her either.~_

You can feel Kori’s smile on your bare shoulder. “Thanks, Maggie. You are the best,” she says sleepily.

You smile and finally close your eyes.

The crashing waves, the shadow, the warmth of both the sand and the bodies using you as pillows.

Alex’s soft breaths, Kara’s gentle sucking sounds and Kori’s twitching nose against your skin.

You are asleep before you can really think about it.

XxXxX

“Okay, girls. Rules.”

“Why do you always give us rules before we get out the car?”

You turn to Kori, riding on the passenger seat, and smile. “It lets you know what’s expected of you and that there will be consequences if you don’t do as we say.” You glance at Kara trying to undo her booster seat’s straps. “We had a slight problem about a year ago and since then Alex and I try to make sure your sister knows what’s expected of her before we go anywhere.” You look at Kori then. “Makes sense to apply the same principle to you, don’t you think?”

Kori looks back at her sister, curiously. _~What happened?~_

You snort. “Kara went AWOL on us at a mall and wreaked havoc along her way.”

“Mommy! I paid for that ice-cream!”

You snort louder this time “Yes, you did. With toy money.”

“Ha-Havoc? Toy money?” Kori turns to you with confusion in her eyes.

You nod to your eldest. “Wreak havoc means to cause great damage. And toy money is like the money Kate and Alex taught you finances with. It doesn’t have any value, it’s for playing.”

Kori turns back to her sister. “What did you do?” She asks her, in awe and you laugh when Kara pouts and crosses her arms.

You sigh, mock-exasperated and very amused. Sure, when it happened Alex was furious, and you were angry enough about Kara worrying her sister and costing her a lot of money, but well, in retrospective, it was really funny. “She ate all the chocolate ice-cream in the mall, she released all the dogs and cats from the pet store, stole a bear and went AWOL on us for three hours,” you say, listing off your fingers.

“Those animals deserved better,” Kara grumbles.

“Yes, they did. They deserved better than being confused and frightened because a little girl decided they could all come out to play. It took the employees days to find all the animals, sunshine. What you did was not okay.” You have already talked to her about this, hell, it’s something that comes up every time Kara passes by a pet store or a kennel.

She really believes animals need their absolute and complete freedom and that they deserve happiness, but the animals she wants to release aren’t ones that can fend for themselves in the wilderness. You have told her that every time she complains about how the animals need help.

“But they are trapped!” Kara whines. “They need happiness, they need freedom!”

Kori frowns then. “Trapped?”

You sigh again, this time you really mean it. “Look, those animals are fine as long as their caretakers are doing their job, just like in the zoo. But,” you say quickly before Kara can interrupt, “we came here to have a good time and talking about animal rights is not a topic for today. We can talk all you want about this later on.”

Kori’s frown is still going strong. “… Are they in pain?”

“Not if they are properly taking care of them.”

“Hungry?”

“Not if they are properly taking care of them.”

“Sick?”

“Not if they are properly taking care of them.”

“Are they happy?... Oh, let me guess, they are; if they are properly taking care of them.”

You smile at her sass. “Exactly.”

“But they are not free!”

You sigh again. “No Kara, but those animals can’t be free.” A sudden idea pops into your head. “Why don’t we ask Pam to come talk to us about animals in captivity? We can also invite Selina, she loves cats and donates heavily to several shelters.”

You know that they are going to agree with you or, if they don’t, they will be mature and have enough common sense to help you defuse Kara’s need to set every animal free.

Rao, you really hope they have the wisdom and common sense to help your case instead of fueling Kara’s desire to help all the animals. Alex won’t forgive you if they start turning Kara into an animal rights extremist.

You are still waiting to see if you need to intervene in any way with how much Kori loves plants and how angry she gets when she sees someone “hurting” one of them.

“Really?” Kara asks.

“Really, really.”

“Okay.”

“Good. Rules.” Both girls groan. “Kara, you are holding my hand or your sister’s the entire time. I’m not risking another Wayne Mall incident.”

“Mommy!”

“If you want ice-cream, Kara Álainn, this is non-negotiable” Kara huffs but doesn’t comment. “Good. Now, I don’t care which language you choose to use, but for the love of Rao, be polite and don’t cause a scene. Chances of being recognized here are high, and I don’t want for anyone here to call Alex or something, remember, people here are noisy.”

The first day you arrived the woman who lives across the street somehow spread the word that the Danvers were back in town, and sure enough, the very next day, the phone wouldn’t stop ringing, and you have had the bell ringing several times. Alex, however, was quick to disarm the doorbell when it became obvious they wouldn’t stop ringing it and she disconnected the landline too.

You asked her if she didn’t think it was obvious you were home and ignoring them, and she simply shrugged. “I don’t care,” she said. “I just want to enjoy my family.”

And, enjoying the family she has for the last couple of days.

But, right now, she wanted to go through all her parents’ stuff, and she didn’t want Kara around for that.

Hence the impromptu trip to the mall.

XxXxX

“I bet Jonas is still serving ice-cream,” Kara remarks once you are all out of the car and walking aimlessly around. “He always gives me an extra scoop when Mama isn’t around.”

You startle at that, but you don’t let it show. Logically, you shouldn’t be surprised that Kara knows her way around or that she knows the people who work at the Mall. She has already greeted by name three young women that work at the food court – which was, no wonder, your first stop in this outing – and they have given her free samples of their wares.

You know Kara is a ray of sunshine that is loved by anyone, well, almost anyone that meets her, so, yes, it shouldn’t come as a surprise she is loved and cherished by what you can see are the managers of several stores.

Kara has also taken such pleasure in introducing you and Kori as her “Mommy and sister”. So far, you’ve gotten zero disapproving looks from any of them, which makes you wonder exactly how out was Alex in this town. You know she never hid it, but for the women, women that are about Alex’s age, to not bat an eye when Kara proudly call you “Mommy”, well, you don’t want to label that little pang in your chest as jealousy.

No.

Alex deserves better.

“Can we see if Jonas is around?” Kara asks you, swinging both her arms so both Kori’s and your arm are swung with them. “I miss him.”

You shake your head. “You just ate a cheeseburger, sunshine.”

“But, Mommy!”

“Kara, not right now.”

“Maggie?” Kori says from Kara’s other side before her sister can continue complaining. “Can we go in there?”

She is pointing at, damn it. She is pointing at Hot Topic.

“Do you want to go in there?”

“Can we please?”

You sigh. They can’t ever say you don’t love your daughters. “Go,” you tell her. “We will be right behind you.”

The dazzling smile Kori sends your way before she is practically dashing into the store is enough to know that you did well today.

“Mommy?” You look down to your youngest, and you bite down chuckle at her concentrate frown. She looks just like Alex when she is thinking too hard.

“Yes, Kara?”

She looks up. “Can we go really quick to Toys ’R’ Us?”

It’s your turn to frown, perplexed. “Don’t you think that you already have enough toys, sunshine?”

Kara shakes her head. “Not for me, Mommy.”

You quirk an eyebrow at that, but decide not to push, yet. “We can go once Kori is done here.”

“No, Mommy. While Kori is here. Please.”

You look into Kara’s earnest eyes, and you get the feeling your kid is going to do something incredibly cute and incredibly thoughtful. “Okay. Let me tell Kori we’ll be going for a bit.”

“Just don’t tell her where we’re going!”

You peek through the window store, looking to see if Kori overheard you at all. She is so busy going through Harry Potter stuff that you know she was too into it, to actually listen in on you, even when she is not wearing her “hearing aids”.

Whatever Kara is planning is going to work, then.

“Hey, Dusty,” you call Kori from the entrance, and you are happy to see that she looks up from the sweaters she is browsing immediately. “Kara and I need a bathroom break.” You can see the slight disappointment in her eyes so you hastily continue. “Stay here, okay? We’ll be back in twenty minutes tops.”

Your eldest nods and those gorgeous grey-blue eyes shine with happiness once again. “I’ll be here.”

You consider her for a moment, and you leave Kara alone for a minute, before you go to the store, take out your wallet and hand her five one-hundred bills, you do think that it will be enough for her to buy several things, and enough for Alex to complain that you are spoiling her. “Don’t tell your Mama.”

That phrase is so integrated into your vocabulary you didn’t think twice before you said it. It’s only after you have spoken that you notice how you addressed Alex. You are about to correct yourself when Kori takes the money with a beaming smile.

“I won’t tell her!” She bites her lip, and you wonder if she even noticed how you phrased your plea not to tell Alex. “Are you sure? This is a lot of money.”

You smile and cup the back of her neck. “Don’t worry about it, okay? If that is not enough, you will have to take it from your own money.”

Ever since she has come to live with you, Alex and you have given her an allowance every week, enough for her to buy a thing or two here and there. Kate and Alex took her early on to her first shopping spree and used the trip to teach her the basics of how money works here. Later on, Kate came with the idea on how to teach her about using the money by using some Monopoly money, and so Alex and Kate spent a whole afternoon going over some finances and microeconomics with her.

If you didn’t think Alex was hella smart, watching mesmerized how she talked finances and economics as easily as she talks biology and medicine would have made you admit immediately that your wife is a genius.

Once she got a hang of money, and she started eyeing books and knickknacks, and she got called to add to Kara’s jar twice in a row, Alex and you decided to add to her allowance, which, now that she goes out on her own every other day, you think was wise after all.

You are pulled out from your musing, however, when Kori launches at your arms, squealing in excitement. “Thanks, Mom!”

You are left stunned, blinking stupidly as she goes deeper into the store. You can see her taking sweaters from the racks with what would be normal for any fifteen-year-old.

Did she just…

_~Mommy?~_ Kara’s warm hand comes to hold yours, and you shake your head.

_~Yes, sunshine?~_

_~Are you okay?~_

You take a deep breath, feeling your chest expand and tears pickle your eyes.

Hell, you are more than okay.

XxXxX

You look in the rear mirror and smile. Kori decided she wanted to ride in the back seat with Kara and you knew why the moment when she passed out, minutes before Kara also fell asleep.

Really, you have two overgrown toddlers.

“Hey.” Alex’s voice at the window almost startles you. “Got your text,” she says with a small smile.

You smile back at her. You couldn’t help yourself, and you texted Alex as soon as you could about what Kori called you. And, even if she reverted back to call you Maggie after that, you still feel like you are on cloud nine. “It was… wow.”

Alex’s smile grows into a grin, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “I’m so happy for you, Mags.” She looks into the car. “Bet she was precious when she said that.”

You nod, your good mood tampering a little. “Hey, are you okay?”

Alex steps away, letting you climb out the car. “Let’s take the girls inside. We’ll talk while they nap.”

Gathering the girls is easy, and quickly done. They have never weighed much and Alex struggles just a little with Kori’s larger form, her long limbs making it harder for Alex to walk, but even so, they are soon put into Kara’s darkened room to continue sleeping.

“Talk,” you order your wife once you are back to the living room. The bags in the car can wait until the girls are awake.

“I went through my parents’ stuff,” Alex says, sitting heavily on the couch. “I mean, I went through most of it before leaving for Gotham, clothes, and stuff, but well, I didn’t go into my parents’ lab other than to make sure everything was packed and that there was nothing dangerous there.”

You nod. You know that, by what Alex has told you, the most important part of this house is the lab. Built in the basement, it holds the most precious experiments, the most delicate investigations both her parents ever worked with. You know Eliza and Jeremiah worked for CADMUS, but you also know, thanks to Alex, that they hid several things from them.

Like how they took in a baby alien on behalf of Superman.

Kal-El landed somewhere in Smallville, Kansas and he was quickly snatched by the army. As you understand it, CADMUS has been up and running for at least a decade before he arrived and they are since then, in the search for alien life and technology to make the army better, greater. As you also understand it, Eliza and Jeremiah had worked for them from almost the beginning of the organization.

They were, as Alex told you, the only ones ready to study an alien teen while making sure he was adapted to Earth. How they didn’t ever think that the Danvers would get attached to the sulky teen is still beyond your wife and you.

However, Kal-El wormed his way into their hearts enough to have them hide Kara, and you can be thankful to them for that.

Well, looking at your wife, at her adorable little-concerned pout, well, you are thankful to those two for Alex too.

“What did you find?” You ask her softly.

Alex deflates against you. “Damn, Mags, what they have there. The room is locked behind a bio-scan and I can tell no one tried to enter but...” She stops to rub her face with both hands. “Mags, I found shit so fucked up.”

“Alex?”

She shakes her head. “No. I’m not telling you. No.” She shudders. “It’s enough _I_ know how messed up Eliza and Jeremiah were.”

You startle at how Alex referred to her parents. Even when they were so fucked up, even when they made Alex’s childhood a contest of intelligence, of gathering knowledge, they have always been mom and dad. “Al…?”

“Mags… they… they were monsters…” the whispered confession tugs at your heart, and you waste no time in hugging her as tight as you can.

“Shhh, love. I can’t tell you it’s okay, Alex, I don’t know why you are so freaked out.”

“Mags…”

“Tell me, Alex. Tell me, love.”

_~They were getting ready to experiment with kids, Maggie. They were going to mutate children.~_

You frown, pretty sure you lost something in the translation. “Al? Did you…?”

“Please, don’t make me repeat it. Please.”

Oh, Rao. Shit. “Alex… I’m sure they-”

“Love, please… no.” She turns in your arms, hiding her face in your neck.

You sigh, hugging her closer. The absence of tears bothers you, but well, you know she should be in shock, she has to be in shock. There is no other reason for the lack of… reaction.

Were they really ready to start working with children? Would they come so low as to mess with the most innocent? Could they really be monsters like that?

“I called Hank,” Alex says softly. “He will bring a team once we are gone… I don’t want Kara and Kori knowing.”

“Okay, darling. They won’t know.”

Alex nods against your skin. “I also found some Kryptonian things among all the… junk.”

“Kryptonian things?”

Alex nods again. “Yes. I’m making Kori help me go through it. Maybe she knows what they are.”

The topic change is welcomed even if it’s… well, a little drastic. Even so, you go with it. “Oh? Nothing spooky?”

“A project-cube, I think. Some jewelry. A couple of crystals.”

“A project-cube? Crystals?”

“A cube like that the one Kori has in her room, bigger… I think its broken, though. I couldn’t make it work. And big chunks of crystals. Kal-El arrived with several of those. They keep information, data, books, images.” Alex untangles from you, shifting so her head nestles on your lap.

You nod, starting to pet her hair. “Like Kara’s gemstone.”

“Sort of. Those should host more than a message and memories.”

A message in Kara’s gemstone it’s the last thing Alex and you ever expected. You know, thanks to your wife that Kara’s necklace was her mother’s and that there was no way in heaven or hell to make Kara part from it. You understood that it holds sentimental value for your youngest, but you never thought it would also contain such a profound meaning too.

Kori let you see the message that Alura and Lara left for Kori and Kara, and after some hesitation, she told you now exactly what happened when Krypton exploded, how she was sent away for months, how the plan was for the whole family to escape, how Krypton’s damage was much worse than they thought and how it exploded ahead of time.

Crying, but with a very steady voice, she told you, how she saw her home die. How she looked at her father’s face and received instructions to head to Earth, to protect Kara. How she saw Kara and Kal-El’s pods launch from their dying planet and how they were all caught in the Phantom Zone due to the debris hitting them.

You and Alex have discussed that plenty, how much trauma your eldest really went through before she arrived home. It’s no shock, looking back that Kori started having nightmares when she sleeps on her own after she told you all that.

“But, the crystals and the cube have hairline cracks on them,” Alex continues. “I don’t know if they were going to fix them or if they were broken on purpose.”

You notice immediately how she avoids mentioning her parents, how she detaches herself from them in such a subtle way, so you simply keep cuddling her. “You mentioned jewelry, darling?”

“Yeah. Bracelets with inscriptions on them. I don’t understand them, which makes me think that those symbols are some sort of archaic language. A couple of rings, and earrings too.”

“Cool,” you simply say. She has closed her eyes and the anxiety that was making her back rigid, and the tension on her shoulders easing out of her little by little.

Maybe you should have been with her while she swept through the lab. Maybe you should have sent Kori with Kara on their own and be with your wife.

But well that couldn’t be done and it’s already done, and you can’t really change it.

So, you do the next better thing.

Alex won’t talk about what’s really going through her head, but she will talk nonetheless.

“Hey, I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“How is that Vasquez could gather the journals? You said the lab was locked.”

“… I gave her some of my blood.”

You startle at that. “Blood?”

Alex shrugs and turns so she’s rubbing her nose on your stomach. “I’ve missed that,” she comments off-handily.

You blink, confused. Her resting her head on your lap and you petting her hair are fairly common in your life. In fact, you sometimes think Alex’s kryptonite is having her hair played with, with how much she loves it and makes her weak. “What?”

“You, calling me darling.”

The confusion grows. Darling is not a word that is in your vocabulary a lot. That is how Kate often refers to those she likes, and that is how she used to call you when you were dating. You know you started calling Alex that shortly after meeting Kara and that you kept calling her as such with how much her eyes lit the first time you called her darling that very first time.

But, have you really stopped calling her that? And apparently, you have.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur. “I didn’t notice.”

She sighs. “I didn’t tell you to make you feel bad, Mags… You don’t have to call me anything you don’t want to.”

“Al…” She is in a weird mood, and for the first time in a really long while, you can’t follow her line of thought. She is jumping around subjects, and she is making little sense.

Damn, her going to her parents’ lab messed her up badly.

You wonder if coming here, and if letting her go through all that stuff by herself was a mistake.

“’ama? ‘ommy?”

You crane your neck to look at the stairs, and you smile at the chaos that is Kara’s hair right now. Your girl is rubbing her eye sleepily, and she’s still sucking her thumb, a clear sign that she is either going to sleep some more or demand cuddles until she is fully awake.

“Hey, sunshine. Come join us.”

Kara shuffles closer, rounding the back of the couch and promptly planting herself on top her Mama.

Alex shifts then, so she is now lying on her back. Kara shifts with her, resting her cheek on Alex’s breast and clutching at her shirt with the same hand she is using to soothe herself. “Hey, baby. Had a nice nap?”

Kara nods. “’es.”

_~Are you going back to sleep?~_

_~’o.~_

You peek down and smile. Alex is running down her nails down Kara’s back, scratching in the way your kid loves the most. Kara’s eyes are half-open and she is looking at her Mama with so much love it makes your heart skip a beat.

“Hey, baby,” Alex calls her, “close your eyes for a bit.”

Kara does as prompted and you smile.

_~Alex? Maggie?~_ You turn to the stairs again and smile at how similar Kori and Kara really are.

Kori’s hair sticks all over the place and just one of her eyes is open. Barely. There is a huge red spot on her right cheek, and she is clutching at the hem of her shirt with a tight fist.

You will have to look for tears later.

“Come here, Dusty. Join us.”

Kori hovers lazily to you, peeking down at Alex and Kara. With a slow blink, she floats over to the back of the couch and lands in the space between Alex’s body and the cushions.

Alex wiggles again, this time trying to accommodate Kori to her side without disturbing Kara.

You snort quietly. “Did you ever imagine being demoted to a mattress?”

Alex’s grin is easy, and open, all the sadness and betrayal gone from her eyes. “Never,” she whispers and, yes, both girls are asleep again. “I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, though.”

You grin back, resuming your combing through her hair. Yeah. You wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, either.

XxXxX

You divide your attention between making sure Kara follows the recipe and keeping an ear open to make sure Alex and Kori don’t set anything on fire again; Kori was startled enough at being brought into the basement and presented with Alex’s Kryptonian findings that her laser vision got activated, alongside the fire alarm.

Once the fire was put down – this house has a fire extinguisher in every floor, wonder why – and Kara was calm down after the scare, it was decided that Alex and Kori would spend the rest of the day downstairs while you have some quality time with Kara.

And Kara, being Kara, wanted to learn how to make a chocolate pecan pie.

“Mommy?”

“Yes, sunshine?”

“Can I listen in on Kori and Mama?”

You snort. “No, baby. It’s rude to eavesdrop.”

Kara’s earnest eyes look up from her careful whisking. “But I want to know what are they doing in Eliza’s lab.”

“You know what they are doing, sunshine. They are trying to fix the cube Mama found. You were there when Mama showed it to Kori.”

Turns out, Kori was startled not because a piece of her planet was presented to her, but because what Alex found was once, hers.

Or, rather, was her family’s.

The cube was, much like Alex predicted, a projector of some sort. However, it’s not any projector. It’s a family heirloom that passed down through the girls’ paternal side of the family and was meant for Kori to have the moment she stepped up as head of house Van, whatever that means.

The cube is, as the crystals – surprise, surprise, the crystals also bear the sigil you learnt is of House of Van – broken and tampered with, so Alex and Kori are working right now trying to fix them.

As far as you know, Alex didn’t even get the chance to show Kori the jewelry before the girl panicked and set part of the lab on fire.

“Ready, Mommy.”

You look at the mess Kara made. There are eggs shells on the floor. The flour is all over the counter and that bag of sugar surely shouldn’t be that empty.

“Good job, sunshine! The crust is ready, so, let’s just pour the batter in and pop it in the oven. In a half-an-hour, we’ll have your pie!”

Kara nods, excited. “Can we go to the lab while we wait?”

You shake your head at your smart girl, amused. You contemplate what she tells you. Alex never said you weren’t invited, just that Kara might get bored enough to fiddle with something she shouldn’t and then cause a real accident.

As if having a small fire wasn’t an accident.

Maybe fires are common in this house?

“We can go and see what they are doing for a little bit, but we need to clean here first.”

You blink, and you feel a rush of air. Your next blink reveals a clean floor and the next one after that, an already poured pie and a spotless counter. “Ready, Mommy!”

You chuckle at Kara. “You’re an imp, you know that, right?”

Kara tilts her head to the side like a lost puppy. “I’m not an imp, Mom.”

Your chuckle turns into a fond smile. “No, I guess not. Come on. Let me put the pan in the oven and we can keep your sister and Mama company.”

Kara skips to the basement door and waits patiently for you to put the pie in the oven and set the timer before takes your hand and takes you downstairs.

“I don’t like the lab,” Kara says as you climb down. “It smells bad.”

You scrunch up your nose, trying to smell whatever she’s smelling. It’s not like you actually can, but, still, you try. “Bad, baby?”

She nods once, never letting go of you. You reach the floor and walk towards where you left your other two girls. “Yes. Bad. Like the man in the alley. It’s bad.”

Your step falters for a second, however, you don’t let Kara notice it. “Oh?”

“Yes, but it smelled worse before when Eliza took me here.”

Damn. You need to talk to Alex about what exactly happened when Kara was younger. When she lived on her own with Eliza and Jeremiah.

~ _Please tell me you are kidding.~_ Alex’s softened voice reaches you as you walk around one tall cabinet.

_~I’m not. We need Kara’s crystal, though.~_

_~I’m here!~_ Kara announces brightly the moment Kori and Alex come into view, pulling Alex’s attention to you.

You take a moment to see what is in front of you. They are sitting in front of a wide table, bits, and parts, tools scattered all over it. Alex is sitting on a spacious rolling chair, and your heart just about to explode at seeing how Kori is nestled between Alex’s spread legs. Alex is holding the cube in place as Kori’s deftly works what looks like the spawn of a screwdriver and a mini welding machine. You have no doubt Alex’s been looking over Kori’s shoulder the whole time, tracking her progress and making sure she doesn’t hurt herself with the pointy tool.

Not that you think Kori could be hurt easily, but, still, Alex always worries.

_~Hey, baby,~_ Alex whispers as Kara goes to her side and peeks at what Kori is doing.

_~I want to try that!~_

_~No!~_ Kori’s denial is quicker than Alex, and you snort at the way your oldest glares – a so Alex glare – to Kara and how your youngest pouts.

“Mama?”

_~Kori is right, baby. You can’t use these tools until I teach you how, and I doubt you want us to spend five hours learning how not to burn our fingers.~_ Alex’s voice is amused and soft. Her mouth is close to Kori’s ear, so maybe that is why she is being so quiet.

Kara scrunches up her nose. _~You didn’t spend five hours teaching Kori,~_ she points out.

_~This is not so different from what they taught me to use at the Academy,~_ Kori explains with a shrug. She doesn’t seem aware that the movement makes her snuggle closer to Alex’s front. “And I’m the one who knows how to fix it.”

Alex scoffs almost silently. “I could have figured out.”

Kori smirks and puts her tool down. _~But I saved us hours of work.~_

Letting Kori take the cube from her hands, Alex embraces the girl by the middle. _~That you did. You are amazing, little star.~_

The bright light helps you see the deep blush on Kori’s cheeks. _~I did nothing.~_

You scoff, making her look at you. “Yeah, well, from where I’m from, kids your age don’t go around fixing advanced tech.”

Kori’s brow crinkle. “But…” She focuses on the cube in her hands. You can’t see what they did to it. It looks just like it did before they started working on it. “… this is normal for me.”

_~It may be normal for you, little star. It’s still amazing to us.~_ Alex combs back some of Kori’s hair from her eyes. _~I’m sure you will do great things.~_ She turns to Kara, cupping her cheek with her free hand. _~Both of you.~_

Kara scrunches up her nose. “I don’t want to fix things, Mama.”

“And that’s okay. Whatever you want to do, I’m sure you will be amazing at it.”

You choose this as your cue to come closer. Now, you’re not useless and you grew on a farm, fixing things, and using tools is something normal to _you,_ but well, this is well above your comprehension. “Are you guys, done?” you ask, trying to gauge for yourself if that’s the case.

_~Yes.~_

The switch to her native language feels sudden and strange. You wonder what the cube really means if the girl gets this serious and solemn so suddenly.

Alex tugs Kara closer, prompting her to sit on one of her legs. _~Baby?~ S_ he asks gently. _~Can you lend us your gem?~_

“Wait. Wait!” You say when your phone starts vibrating in your pocket. “I need to take out the pie from the oven!”

Kara perks at that, and she is about to rise when Alex stops her. “Let Mom deal with that, baby. We need you here right now.”

Kara frowns, looking at her Mama first and then you. “You won’t eat the pie, right Mommy?”

You smirk. “Of course no, sunshine. That’s for you and your sister. Give me a moment, and I’ll be back. Don’t wait for me!”

You jog to the kitchen and take out the pie, turn off the oven, and you are ready to join your ladies when your phone starts vibrating again. You sigh, taking it out and seeing who is the one calling,

“What do you want, Kate?” You ask a little brusquely.

“ _Jeez, and here I was trying to be a good sister.”_

You sigh. “Sorry, Crazy Bat… I was kind of wishing to join my girls, right about now.”

“ _Alex’s not around?”_

You sigh again. “You called _me_ , dumbass.”

You can almost hear how she rolls her eyes. _“I know, shortcake. I called you in the hopes to find_ _ **you**_ _alone. With no Alex around!”_

Interest piqued, you detour to the living room, and sit on the couch. “What do you want now, Kate?”

“ _How is my sister?”_

You groan. “Really? You spoke to her this morning, Kate.”

“ _And that’s why I’m asking, dimwit. She sounded off.”_

Oh. “Yes, she found some… disturbing news on her parents.”

“ _Shit. What happened?”_

“Kate… I rather not tell you until she does.”

“ _That bad, huh?”_

“Her parents were a work of art.”

“ _Shit. Okay, okay, I still owe her another sisters’ night. I’ll make her talk then. Hey, Mags?”_

“Yes, Crazy Bat?” you ask, resigned that you are not getting back to your family soon.

“… _How attached do you think Alex is to that house?”_

What? “The hell are you talking about?”

“ _I mean. I’d like to do something nice and… well… I don’t know. It seems silly now.”_

“Oh, no, Katherine. Share with the rest of the class.”

She sighs. _“I’ve done a little research, Midvale’s real estate is not so bad. Investing in the area might prove to be wise down the road, and I’ve come to know that several properties around Alex’s house are being sold. Mold problems, I think.”_

You have to read between the lines to gather what she is trying to say. You always have to read between the lines with her. “Do you want to buy her land?” You ask because that is what you are getting.

“ _Yes, and several others. And then, build an enormous beach house with direct access to the ocean.”_

Well, damn.

“You’re insane.”

“ _Oh, C’mon, Mags! You know almost as much as I do that she hates the place. She avoided going back for so long!”_

“She came now, didn’t she? She is finally relaxing.” And that last bit it’s true, Alex is finally relaxing.

“ _And I’m not saying that she isn’t. But, wouldn’t it be nice for her to have some place to surf in the ocean she knows without having to think of her parents? Be honest with me, pixie, you haven’t been sleeping in her parents’ room, have you?”_

You grumble at the stupid nickname. “Of course not. That’s gross.”

“ _Exactly. That’s one room I’m sure she is not going to touch with a ten-foot pole.”_

Well, you can’t actually say that she is wrong. “Still doesn’t mean she is going to get rid of the house.”

“ _Think, Margaret. You’re supposed to be bright. Alex will never feel comfortable in that house ever again. She is relaxed now, sure, but that’s because you three are making sure she is sleeping and well, relaxing. Leave her alone and I’m sure she’ll manage to make herself feel awful.”_

You think of what happened today. Granted, you think that if you were around for when she went through her parents’ things she would be even more of a mess, trying to hide everything from the girls, but still… “I’ll ask her if she’d be up to sell you the house,”

“ _No! No, Mags. No.”_

“Kate, you are making zero sense.”

“ _I don’t want her to know. Let me do this as a gift to her. Let me do something for her.”_

This is a really, really, really really, bad idea. “If this backfires it’s on you.”

“ _Yes, dear.”_

You scrunch up your nose, vaguely aware that you are picking more of Kara’s mannerism with each day that passes. “Don’t ever say that again.”

“ _Yes, dear.”_

“Rao, you’re insufferable.”

“ _You love me this way.”_ Sadly, that’s true. _“Go, now, young Padawan. Go ask Alex.”_

And with that, she hangs up on you.

Stupid bat.

You sigh, really hoping they didn’t wait for you to start and rise to join your family.

(You know they didn’t wait simply because Kara never came looking for you, and your baby is an impatient girl.)

When you reach them, however, the sight you are greeted with is shocking.

Alex is no longer in her chair, instead, she is pacing, a rapid series of questions leaving her lips and not letting her interlocutor get a word in edgewise.

Kara is now sitting on Kori’s lap, both girls watching quietly how Alex comes and goes, comes and goes. You see with panic that Kori is hiding her beautiful face while softly crying on Kara’s shoulder and that Kara seems so out of sorts, hugging her sister, tightly.

Because floating above the table, emanating from the cube Kori and Alex fixed, are the girls’ birth parents. You wonder what message they said this time because their clothes are different from the ones you remember they were using when Kori played for you the message they left for her.

You are about to ask what happened to have the girls in such condition and Alex in near hysterics when the one you know is Lara looks over to you. _~You must be, Mag-Gui.~_

You blink. The last time the image didn’t do that. The way she mangles your name, and with the small glares, she is sending your way.

Alura’s image turns to you, how she truly looks like Astra, the one that took Kara, still terrifies you. _~Maybe you will be so kind as to translate what Al-Ex is trying to say in her awful language?~_

You see that Kori is looking at you now and your heart goes to her at how red her eyes and nose are. She shakes her head minutely, pleading you with her eyes too, you think that her message is, don’t say anything yet. This is not the first time you have seen her vulnerable, but this is the first time you have seen her actually crying, so, of course, you don’t engage.

“Guys? What’s happening?”

The Alura image scoffs and the Lara one shakes her head, angry. _~We don’t understand you.~_

Alex comes to you then, putting a hand on your shoulder, her other hand massaging her temples. “Come sit, babe… This is going to shock you.”

Her words do little to comfort you, but you do as told, grabbing a spare chair and settling yourself on it, close to the girls. Your left-hand goes to the back of Kori’s neck, squeezing lightly.

You totally ignore the glare those images send your way.

“Hit me, love.”

And when Alex speaks, still pacing, still, you can see her fuming, you regret coming here.

Damn if that punch wasn’t hard enough to move mountains.

XxXxX

_~Is it too rough?~_

You watch from the bathroom room yet another sight you never imagined seeing, feeling your heart heavy with sadness and not a little regret.

It wasn’t enough that you got to be told those images weren’t a message, but some sort of artificial intelligence put into Kara’s gemstone that stores the girls’ parents’ memories, thoughts, believes and behavior.

Oh, no. It wasn’t enough that, from what you could gather, they just learnt (because of course the fucking yes, they are actually fucking capable of learning new stuff) how Kara was trapped for years in the Phantom Zone and that Kori and Astra were trapped in there for even longer time, leading to Kal-El to arrive ten years before Kara and to Kori to land and be on the lookout for her sister for around three years without much luck.

It wasn’t even enough that they glared at you all as you spoke English, making the odd stupid comment on how they were being ignored, making you feel so out of sorts and so, well, so confused. No.

No, of course, no. It all had to be topped with how they made Kori cry with how fucking unsympathetic they were, with how they practically demanded why Kara wasn’t raised “the proper” way the moment Alex explains to them in detail what had happened and why Kara was so old in comparison to Kori.

And, of course, because apparently all your fucking biological families are so stupidly fucked up, they laid the blame on Astra and Kori. And because she was there and she was an easy target, they unleashed all their frustration on Kori.

Alex had to turn off the cube then and console your kid as best as she could.

And because Kori is as stubborn as Alex, she asked to have the cube open again and for them to face her parents once more.

That’s when you walked in, to all the tension and pain.

And that’s when you regretted bringing your family here.

_~No. It’s fine.~_

Once Alex conveyed to you all that happened while you were with Kate, you turned off the cube, not letting the images’ protests deter you. Kori looked like she wanted to protest too, but a firm squeeze on her neck was enough to dissuade her.

She was still crying, too. Hell, she’s still softly crying.

Which lead you to oversee how Alex tries to comfort her.

You are not delusional. You know both your kids prefer to turn to Alex when they need cuddles and when they need that maternal support your wife simply has in high supply. You don’t feel jealous, Rao, no. On the contrary, you are so damn glad you get to see Alex like this.

Seeing her kneeling next to the bathtub, gently washing Kori’s hair should not surprise you.

But well, it does.

Sort of.

Mainly because you never expected to see Kori so unguarded, so vulnerable, so trusting. Or, rather, you never expected her to open to you two this quickly, this hard. She is naked, sharing the big bathtub with Kara and she is not batting an eyelash at how Alex practically bathed her, at how she is washing her hair, at how you are observing all of this from the doorway, at how Kara plays quietly with the bubbles, at how – not knowing how baths worked on Earth – she still took Alex’s hand and let herself be dragged into the bathroom to be bathed.

Just because Kara insisted that Kori was sad and when she is sad, she likes when her Mama helps her to bathe, so Kori needed Mama to bathe her too.

You don’t know what went through Alex’s mind at that statement, but just a few seconds later after it was uttered, Alex was asking Kori if she would be comfortable doing just that.

Kori didn’t complain, and here you are. Alex already bathed Kara and now she is beginning to bathe Kori.

_~Mommy?~_ You look to see Kara blinking heavily and raising an arm to you, beckoning you closer.

You enter the space, instantly overwhelmed by the heat radiating from the tub. You were watching from the sidelines simply because you are still to understand how Kara and Alex like to boil themselves in the bathroom.

You can’t deal with that much heat.

And apparently, your oldest shares their tastes in water temperature.

_~Yes, sunshine?~_ You kneel next to Alex, sharing a small smile with her before focusing on your baby.

_~Wash my hair?~_ she asks. Her soapy hand goes to her sternum, no doubt looking for her gemstone, but for once, Kara is not wearing it. So, instead, she starts playing with her hair.

It was left behind in the basement, and you are not sure that, now that you know what it really holds, you want Kara using it.

This is something you’ll have to discuss with Alex once the girls are asleep.

You smile. _~Didn’t Mama already wash your hair?~_

“The bottle says ‘wash, rinse and repeat,’” she tells you bluntly. “Mama didn’t repeat.”

You smile, bemused. _~Kara, you never wash your hair twice.~_ Nonetheless, you grab the sweet-smelling shampoo and put some in your palm. _~Turn, baby.~_

Kara does as told, turning around, making some of the water exit the bathtub. At your right, Alex is using a cup to rinse Kori’s hair. _~I wanted to wash it twice tonight,~_ she offers an explanation.

You don’t question her. This is the first time you do this, and you take your time in doing it right, steady and slowly. Kara’s hair is long, long enough that it reaches the middle of her back and you scratch her scalp gently before starting lathering the rest of it.

_~Try to untangle it as you wash,~_ Alex tells you softly. She is now putting conditioner on Kori’s hair.

You nod, doing your best to help with the tangles in your baby’s hair. _~Am I pulling, sunshine?~_

_~No, Mommy.~_

Alex passes you the cup she was using, and you start rinsing. “Close your eyes, baby.”

You think that’s the right thing to say, at least. You haven’t really bathed or showered any kid before now, but well, it’s fairly relaxing and so, so intimate that your heart aches.

Or maybe that’s regret for suggesting you all came here.

Damn you and your stupid mouth.

~ _Is this okay, little star?~_ you look at Alex and how she gently wash Kori’s arms and shoulders with the soapy loofah sponge.

_~It’s fine.~_

Alex glances at you from the corner of her eyes, and you nod thinly. Yes, you have noticed how Alex has asked Kori four times for her consent and how Kori always answers the same thing.

It worries you more than you want to admit.

You finish with Kara easily, conditioning her hair and doing your best at the tangles on her hair. Alex took her time in bathing Kara, and she does the same bathing Kori, slow and methodical, so by the time she is done with your eldest, the water is starting to get cold.

A slight tilt of Alex’s head makes you leave the bathroom quickly and retrieve the towels from the dryer in the ‘friendly’ part of the basement. You have to restrain yourself from smashing that stupid cube into bits and flush down the drain while you are there, but you manage and you are back in the bathroom in time to watch as Alex rinses Kara with the hand shower.

Over the months you have noticed the little things that make Kara so different from any regular human.

Like the raised lines that run on the back of her ears, not noticeable until you run a finger down them and they become obvious. They are thin and the same color of the rest of her skin, but when touched they make Kara shiver slightly and twitch her leg.

Like the barely there bellybutton that freaked you out the first time, you saw Kara’s shirt rile up. It’s so different from a human’s: a thin ‘t’ like incision that it’s weirdly numb and puckers slightly out when Kara eats too much.

“Come on, sunshine,” you say to her, opening the towel, and wrapping her in it, lifting her from the tub and settling her on the toilet lid so you can dry her. You can tell Kara is ready to fall asleep at any moment now. Her thumb keeps caressing her lower lip, and she is blinking heavily.

Little things that you have come to notice are inherent to Kara and her kind.

Like how her veins are not noticeable under her skin like a human’s. You are not even sure she has what you know of as _veins_ , but they are at least not perceptible to her.

Like the really, really, really, tiny incisions she has at the base of her nose that you only can barely see them when it’s so cold outside that her nose gets all red.

Like how her body is almost that of a human. Both girls are underdeveloped by human standards and you know thanks to Alex that they will never have breasts like Kate much less like Karen have, or a curvy body. No. Their bodies were never thought to bear children, so many things weren’t really “cultivated” in them. They weren’t cultivated in any Kryptonian, for that matter.

And apparently, like the small series of lines that are on the upper left side of her hip… lines that you haven’t noticed before and you have seen Kara naked plenty of times.

You try not to panic because this is just what you need to finish this shitty day, something on your kid that may or may not be a problem.

“Um, Alex?” You call to your wife, turning slightly to her and noticing that she’s got Kori standing up and she’s rinsing her now.

You also notice how Kori’s bellybutton is like Kara’s and you feel so stupid for having expected something different from her.

“Yes?” Alex looks at you, and you hold eye contact with her for a second, silently conveying how you are really trying not to freak out.

At her slight twitch of lip and little frown are letting you know she is following you, you lower your eyes to Kara’s naked backside, to where the lines are.

Alex looks there then and her brow smooths. “Oh, that.”

“Huh?”

Alex smiles, and silently urge Kori to turn a little. Curious, you peek at her hip, and yes, the lines are there too.

_~Those are our identification codes,~_ Kori says, seeing where your eyes are. This is the first thing she has offered on her own since the cube incident, and you smile a little at that.

_~Oh?~_

Kori nods and starts speaking as Alex finished with her. _~It’s the way we can avoid unwanted cloning,~_ she explains, making a slight scrunching face. _~Well, it_ _ **was**_ _the way we avoided unwanted cloning. It indicates who we are. If we had clones, their numbers would have been unique. They marked us on the birthing chambers. It can only be seen when touched with_ “tertulg” _, though.~_ Her voice finishes quietly, and you can hear the sadness creeping into her voice again.

You don’t want to know where to start addressing that. Marking? Code? Unwanted cloning? Scratch that, cloning? Freaking cloning?

Instead, you ask, “tertulg?”

“Tap water, Maggie,” Alex explains to you, wrapping Kori in her towel and lifting her in her arms. “Or, rather, the chlorine in it. It reacts like _tertulg,_ which I think was a cleaner of some sort, right Kori?”

“Something like that.”

… Okay. Fine. You will save your questions for later because, damn, you are lost.

You also really need to ask your wife how the hell she seems to know it all.

Alex settles Kori on the floor and starts drying her. You take that as your cue to go back to Kara.

Alex and you silently dry the girls, moisturize them and help them into their pajamas, a Dalmatian footed onesie for Kara and a sleeveless camisole for Kori. Kara’s hair goes into its usual braid after you dry it – another Kryptonian feature, their hair either absorbs the water quickly or it simply doesn’t get wet as a human hair would, you will have to ask Alex – and Alex gently combs Kori’s spiky hair into place.

Once that is done, Alex silently picks Kori up, and if you didn’t know why Kori is this down, you’d be amazed that she doesn’t protest. Kori simply puts her legs around Alex’s waist and lets herself be moved.

You pick Kara up too, and you follow Alex, thinking you are headed for the room you have slept in for the last days.

Instead, Alex leads you downstairs and onto the back porch. She settles on the wide swing there and arranges Kori on her lap just so that her cheek rest firmly on Alex’s shoulder and her legs are tucked up, leaving you enough space to settle down too. You arrange Kara in a similar position as her sister on your lap, letting her settle firmly and drowsily against your breasts.

Your heart suddenly feels so heavy, so full. Kara and Kori tangle their legs together and Alex starts rubbing Kori’s brow with her fingertips. You trace your hand on Kara’s arm, soothing her, knowing she is going to fall asleep in minutes.

Alex uses one leg to gently start the swing rocking.

All of you are silent, letting the ocean sounds lull you.

That’s until Kara speaks.

_~Mommy?~_

_~Yes, sunshine?~_

_~Can we give Kori her present now?~_

You blink at that, looking over at the teen whose eyes are closed. Kori’s hand clenches to Alex’s top, and she is breathing evenly. Even so, you know she is not asleep.

However, Kara is almost out. “Wouldn’t it be better if we wait until tomorrow, love?”

Kara opens her eyes with an effort. She shakes her head. “Tonight, Mommy. Kori needs it.”

You sigh. You look at Alex and quirk an eyebrow.

Before Kori and Alex holed themselves to fix that cube, you all brought your purchases to parade before Alex. Your wife wasn’t too happy about the money you gave Kori, but she didn’t protest when Kori presented her with a Slytherin scarf and matching gloves. You received a Gryffindor beanie and socks and Kara got a messenger bag with the Hogwarts’ coats-of-arms. You know there’s another Slytherin scarf and a Hufflepuff tie with Kate and Renee’s names on them in Kori’s bag too, so Alex couldn’t really say you spoilt Kori when she spent more than half of the money in gifts.

(How or why Kori decided she was buying all of you Harry Potter merch, remains a mystery, though.

And you really want to know how she nailed all your House’s affiliations.)

Alex smiles, and it hurts how it doesn’t reach her eyes. You texted about Kori’s gift alongside how Kori called you Mom, so she knows what Kara is talking about. “Come here, baby.”

Kara pushes away from you and you watch amused how she climbs to lie on Kori’s chest. Kori opens her eyes and frown. _~I don’t want any gifts.~_

Kara wiggles, looking for a way to rest more comfortably on her sister. _~I bought it for you. So it’s yours.~_

_~Kara, I-~_

_~NO! It’s a gift! It’s yours!~_ Kara sits on her sister’s stomach and can feel Alex tense in preparation. Kara’s sleepy enough and apparently annoyed enough that this can escalate if Kori’s next words aren’t those that Kara expects to hear.

At any other time, you or Alex, or both, would be now scolding Kara, but well, you two know what Kara is demanding on giving Kori would indeed help your eldest daughter tonight.

Kori’s frown deepens, and she opens her mouth to protest no doubt when Alex taps on her nose. “Don’t be stubborn, little star. Let Kara give you something for once.”

Your teen’s eyes go to Alex’s face now, and damn, is she pouting? “But you guys give me plenty as of now… I never pay you for what you give me. I’m already a burden to you.”

Alex tenses more and you feel the stab in your heart so accurately it surprises you that you are not bleeding for real. “Hey,” you call her, voice heavy. “Hey, no, Kortni. Don’t think like that.”

“Kortni,” Alex joins you. _~You are not a burden. You have never been a burden, and you will never be a burden.~_

_~But I came into your house, and you have given me so much. I-I don’t really do anything, I’m a burden. I-~_

“Kortni Zor-El,” you snap at her, making her jump and lower her gaze. Rao, this is the first time you use this tone with her, the first time you call her by her full name. This is the tone you and Alex use sporadically, always never, because it’s the tone that makes Kara remember Eliza and makes Kara uncomfortable. But, right now, you don’t think you have any other choice but to use it. The fact that Kara flinched at it doesn’t escape you. “Look at me, kid.”

Kori raises her eyes to you and you see the tears threatening to fall again. Damn it.

“Kortni Zor-El. You are not a burden,” you intone clearly as Kara slides off her sister and heads into the house. You hope that she is not escaping and that she is simply going to get the Toys ‘R’ Us bag. “You don’t need to pay us back, and you shouldn’t feel like you should. Food? Room? Clothes? That’s our responsibility to give because you are in our charge. The rest? That comes from our love to you. Because we want to you to be comfortable, be happy with us.”

“But-”

“Maggie is right, Kortni. What we give you comes from us and not you,” Alex tone is equally hard, and Kori wiggles unhappy at it. It’s a small saving grace, you think that she is not moving from Alex’s lap at all. “You don’t ask for things, but we like giving them to you. That makes us happy because we think, _I_ think that makes you happy too.”

“Alex… Maggie…” Kortni’s tears are coming down again, and you know instinctively that this was enough for today.

That Kara is back with the bag giving you an instant out is also an amazing saving grace.

“We are going to discuss this later, kiddo,” you tell her, consciously making your tone softer. “However, in the meantime, please let Kara give you a gift. She is right, I think you need it.”

Kori blinks heavily and nods. Alex wipes away her tears with her thumb before helping her sit up on her lap. Kara uses that time to climb back on your lap, and you embrace her middle, anchoring her to you.

“Here,” Kara says as she offers the bag to her sister.

Alex and you exchange a glance when Kori hesitates for a second before taking the gift. _~Thank you, Kara.~_

Kara shakes her head. _~Mommy helped.~_

Kori’s eyes dart briefly to yours. “Thank you.”

You smile, even when her focus is now on the soft blue wrapping paper covering her gift. Your smile widens, however, when you remember Kori’s Name Day and how Kara took ten minutes explaining to her why wrapping presents was so important.

You can almost see the same memory playing in Alex’s mind at how her eyes soften as you all watch Kori delicately peeling the paper off. She is so different from Kara in these little things; Kara lack of patience would have made her tear through the paper by now.

“Oh,” it’s all Kori says at seeing the gift.

“I know what is like to feel alone before I can reach Mama or Mommy,” Kara explains, cuddling into you. “Krypto always makes me feel safe so I can look for Mama or Mommy after a nightmare. You said the thing that you liked the most when you arrived on Earth were the birds, so Mommy and I got you one.”

Kori’s eyes blur again, and in seconds she is crying again. She nods, shakily, before burying her face in the soft cloth of the stuffed bird Kara chose for her and letting out a heart-wrenching sob.

When Kara told you she wanted Kori to have a plushie you were dubious, but when Kara explained to you how Krypto was like an armor against her sad feelings, you totally understood what your kid was trying to do.

What she really wanted Kori to have.

“T-Thank you.”

Kara hugs her sister as best as she can with her curled into a little ball around her new – only – toy.

Alex starts rubbing her hands along each of the girls’ backs, rubbing gently, prompting another sob out of Kori.

You resume the rocking on the swing and Kori uncurls herself just enough to turn and hide against Alex’s neck, kind of trapping Kara between the two of them.

Alex smiles sadly at it all, and you slid closer to them, one of your hands goes to Kori’s hair, gently petting it, and the other goes to Alex’s hand, interlacing your fingers together.

You keep swinging the rocking chair as Alex shifts around until she is partly lying on you, Kori and Kara both draped over her. Each kid has claimed a shoulder, and their legs are woven together on Alex’s lap and the swing’s seat. You wrap your arms around your girls, rubbing circles on the girls’ backs and brushing Alex’s arms where they are holding the girls close to her chest.

Alex places a kiss on Kara’s head, then on Kori’s, and bless her soul, starts singing in a soft voice, not pointing out how Kori’s cries are getting louder, even as Kara’s little hand is petting her sister’s back too, no doubt trying to help her sister somehow.

You haven’t heard this song before, but you think it’s oddly fitting. A little upbeat, maybe, but so fitting.

“Oh, when the red-red robin comes bob-bob-bobbin' along… along.” Alex’s voice is sweet, like always, and it eases your pain in a way you never knew before Alex and Kara… and Kori.

“There'll be no more sobbin' when he starts throbbin' that old sweet song.”

Kara’s thumb is firmly in her mouth, eyes closed, and Kori’s hand has gone around Kara to hold on to your left hand where it rests on her sister’s back.

“Singing wake up, wake up, you sleepy head get up, get up, get out of bed, cheer up cheer up the sun is red, live, loud, laugh and be happy.”

Kori is still crying softly, but she closes her eyes, imitating Kara and she cuddles the green baby bird closer to her face, sniffling.

“What if I've been blue now I'm walkin' through fields… of flowers. The rain may glisten and still listen I’d for hours and hours.”

Alex’s eyes find yours, and you see how much she is aching, how much she is hurting for Kori.

“Well I'm just a kid again doing what I did again singin' a song.”

You smile at her, using your free hand to hold hers, connecting all of you in a family hug. Pressing you together, trying to glue all the broken pieces that make each of you.

“When the red-red robin comes bob-bob bobbin' along-along…” Alex trails off, and you sigh, noticing how Kori may be still crying, but she is asleep and how Kara’s soft little wheezes indicate that she is out too.

“We are not moving tonight, are we?” You ask your wife quietly.

Alex shakes her head minutely. “No,” she whispers back.

You nod, complying with that plan. However…

“That song?” you ask her as quietly as you can.

Alex closes her eyes, settling more firmly against you. “Emma.”

You nod again, knowing now why that song was so heartfelt and sounded as if it holds so much meaning for Alex.

“I love you, darling.”

“… and I love you, Maggie… I…”

“What is it, love?”

“I want to sell the house.” Her confession doesn’t surprise you at all, but well, this day was hard, emotionally and physically speaking, and maybe it is really too soon to tell.

“Okay. We’ll talk in the morning about this, though.”

Alex nods and lets her head roll to the side, sighing deeply. “I’m so lucky I met you.”

Looking at the three most important girls in your life, tangled together, trusting you to watch over them, you can’t help but disagree. “No, babe… I’m the lucky one.”

  


  


  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it bad that I love the Worldkillers very much and they have me cheering for them all the time? No? I love Sam and now I love Julia too.  
> And I really hope that the producers and the writers grow a brain and leave Sam (Odette) and Julia (Krys) in the show. I mean if mayo hell is having a so-called redemption arc, why can't the Worldkillers have one true redemption arc too? 
> 
> Also, I know this is a bit frivolous but if you can spare a bit of your time, could please drop by Zimbio and vote for SuperCorp. I was super bummed when Sanvers was eliminated by cheating blorks, but I hope that this year SuperCorp gets the title. 
> 
> http://www.zimbio.com/brackets/TV+Couples+March+Madness+2018
> 
> You need to confirm you are not a robot, so if you are on mobile scroll down or up (like in my case) to confirm.


	36. Hidden Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And your mommies?”  
> You shrug. “They are fine.” You keep playing with the dough she handed you, stretching it and shaping in your hands. “Mama works most of the day and Mommy didn’t come home last night.”  
> “And how does that make you feel, sweetheart?”  
> You look up at her and shrug again. “I liked it better when we were together all the time, but Kori is with me and Miss Diana too, so it’s okay.”  
> “Really, Kara?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone!!!! Still living in the Twilight Zone by the way.
> 
> It is I, the beta, who is now not so beta, but it's a bit complicated ... I know, it has been so long since we last updated, (And as a reader I know that those long gaps between can be very frustrating) but as I told you before Kismet is undergoing some changes, and my only hope is that you continue to support this story like all of you have done before.
> 
> I don't have a health excuse this time, my only excuse is that I was trying my best, and I hope that my best is enough for you enjoy it. 
> 
> I'm totally not shaking or being a nervous wreck over here.
> 
> *Clears throat.* THE WORLD CUP!!!!!!!!

# 36 Hidden Truths

“And your mommies?”

You shrug. “They are fine.” You keep playing with the dough she handed you, stretching it and shaping in your hands. “Mama works most of the day and Mommy didn’t come home last night.”

“And how does that make you feel, sweetheart?”

You look up at her and shrug again. “I liked it better when we were together all the time, but Kori is with me and Miss Diana too, so it’s okay.”

“Really, Kara?”

You nod. You really liked it better when you were together all the time, but having Kori around and Miss Diana helps with the slight fear you still feel when Mama leaves in the mornings. Miss Diana helps because she is teaching you things you didn’t know and that distracts you and Kori, well, Kori always helps.

“I’m scared that Mama won’t come back,” you admit, “but Kori helps me remember that Mama is coming back when I forget.”

She nods back, writing something on her notepad. You scrunch up your nose. This place is weird, this place smells different.

It’s just weird.

“I don’t like it here.”

She looks up and smiles kindly. “I’m sorry, Kara.” She shuffles on her big chair. “But I was chased away from Gotham, so this is now my new office.”

You tilt your head to the side. “Why?”

She giggles. “You’re too young to hear that one.”

You sigh. You hate it when they all use that line when they don’t want to explain things to you. Well, at least Mama and Mommy actually do explain things to you later, when they think it’s the right time to do it.

Good thing you remember every question you have ever asked them because otherwise you would be confused when they take time some nights to try to explain to you things you wanted to know but were too little to know.

You don’t understand why they think you are too little, how they decide when you are old enough, but you have come to understand that most adults say that to avoid talking to you about certain topics. Eliza and Jeremiah were like that.

“Okay,” you tell her. “I still don’t like it here.”

Doctor Q smiles. “I’m sorry, Kara. I’m sure by the next time you come by, it’ll be more lived in.”

You look around. The office is big, bright, too white and with photos of Doctor Q and Pam that remind you of the photos Mama has on her office at home, of her and you, of Mommy and her, of Kori and you. The place smells like how your classroom used to smell back on Gotham, so you really, really, really don’t like it.

“It smells sour.”

Doctor Q’s eyebrow raises at that. “Sour?”

You nod. “Sour.”

She sniffles the air and her nose crinkles, making you giggle. “Yuck! You’re right! It smells sour in here! I’m gonna have Pam check that. Promise it’s gonna smell better next time.”

You smile. “Thanks, Doctor Q!”

“Now, tell me, how you feel after your visit to Midvale?”

Your smile disappears at that. You put the dough on the coffee table before you. “I liked visiting,” you say. “But I hated that Kori and Mama cried.”

“Oh?”

“Mama thinks I didn’t see it, but she cried a lot. And Kori’s parents were mean to her and made her cry too.”

“Mean? How?”

You scrunch up your nose. You know Mama and Mommy keep Doctor Q informed of what happens all the time, what makes you sad and what makes you happy, what makes you cry and what makes you forget where you are— and you think that they do the same for Kori, even when your sister still doesn’t want to talk to Doctor Q on her own.

Mama asked her to have a session a couple of weeks ago and Kori agreed as long as Mama or Mommy were with her.

She said she didn’t want to try again but that doesn’t mean Doctor Q isn’t informed of everything that happens with your sister or you. So it makes sense that she knows Mama found Kori’s parents’ in Midvale.

“They accused her of not raising me ‘the proper way’,” you say, making air-quotes as Auntie Kate sometimes does when she is trying to say something that should be taken as a joke. “Mama says that it is not her fault that life got in the way, but she still cried.”

Doctor Q sighs. “And how does that made you feel?”

That question is easy. Sometimes when Doctor Q asks you how you feel it’s hard to put it into words like Mama taught you. Sometimes it’s hard to realize certain things make you feel certain emotions. But, Doctor Q has helped a lot since you met her.

“Pissed off.”

Doctor Q snorts. “And where did you learn that word?”

You shrug. “Mama and Auntie Kate use it a lot. Especially when they are really, really angry.”

“And you were really, really angry?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“They made my sister cry. They made her shut off for days. It took Mama and Mommy too long to get to her talk again.” You look at the office door, where you know Kori is waiting for you. You know she is wearing her hearing aids, and she is probably texting Jess, so you _know_ she is not listening to your conversation. “I didn’t like when she was like that— she was like a zombie.”

“A zombie?”

You nod. “Yes. Kori has this game on her computer. There are zombies in it and Kori acted like them. She followed Mama around, but she didn’t talk and she walked into things.”

Doctor Q writes something in her notepad again. “And she’s better now?”

“Yes. She isn’t smiling like she was before, but she sometimes smiles.”

“And you’re still angry? Even when Kori is better now?”

You lower your gaze, taking the dough in your hands again. You focus on it, making pretty shapes and long strings with it. “I don’t like them,” you tell her in a little voice. “I don’t like them as I didn’t like Eliza and Jeremiah.”

“And that makes you feel…?”

You pause the modeling of the colorful dough, suddenly feeling indisposed. “I don’t want to talk anymore.”

You hear Doctor Q sigh. “That’s okay, sweetheart. Our time is almost up, anyway.”

You nod and get up, putting the dough in its can and leaving it on the coffee table. “Thank you,” you say politely as Mama taught you.

“No, Kara, thank _you_ for talking with me. Ready for your homework?”

You nod again. Doctor Q always leaves you homework to work with between your sessions. Now that she’s moved to National City for a time, she is going to see you weekly and you are glad for that. Talking to her always helps you. You missed her.

“I need you to do two things this week. First, think really hard about what you feel when you say you don’t like Kori’s parents or your Mama’s parents. And two, give your sister lots and lots and lots of hugs.”

You nod yet again. You can do that. You already know what you feel— you just don’t want to share it.

Doctor Q stands and offers you her hand. You take it without hesitation. You like how her hands are soft and small, different from your Mama’s long ones and Mommy’s rough ones. Doctor Q’s hands kinda make you think of homemade cookies and apples.

She walks you to the door and out of her office, down the hallway and into the clinic’s waiting room. Kori is sitting in the same chair she was when you first came in and you let go of Doctor Q to run to your sister.

You missed her.

She lets you climb on her lap, and she hugs you to her chest. “Good session, sis?”

“Yes.” You sit up a little, looking into her eyes, earnestly. “Can we stop for ice-cream before going home?”

Kori snorts and you are happy you made her smile. “Sure. But we have to be back in time to meet Diana.”

You scrunch up your nose. You have forgotten you have lessons today after visiting Doctor Q. At least Mommy and Mama agreed to let you two walk back after your session. Kori and you have gone out twice now and you love exploring National City with her and you love that your sister always buys you sweets or ice-cream without hesitation.

You wanted to spend the late morning at the park, though, not going over your lessons at the library with Miss Diana.

You pout as Kori stands up, making you slide off her lap. You notice that Doctor Q is there with a smile and Kori tenses a little before relaxing.

“Next week same time?” Your sister asks.

Doctor Q’s smile widens. “Yes, Kortni. I’ve already texted Maggie with the new appointment.”

“Thank you, Doctor Quinzel.”

“Are you sure you are going to make it back home safely?”

Your sister and you nod. “Yes, Doctor. I learnt the route the other night and Renee is doing rounds today, so I can call her to pick us up if we get lost or run into trouble.”

“I didn’t know Renee is back to active duty.”

“She is not. Not really, but-”

You let their small talk fall at the back of your mind. You are not really interested in what they are talking about.

Instead, you focus on the plants around the clinic. Kori and you have gotten close to Pam and Doctor Q — who insist you call her Harley outside the clinic — and you think those plants are cacti or some kind … no, no, they are not. Pam would correct you and say those are succulents similar, but really different from cacti. You recall the name because it somehow makes you remember cake and ice-cream. And you remember Pam said cacti usually are like little men covered in spines and succulents are more like pointy flowers with fat leaves… so, yes, those are succulents.

Kori likes flowers and you know Mommy likes them too. Pam said that succulents are easy to take care of and your room is lacking something, may-

“Come on, Kar,” Kori tells you, tugging at your hand. “We need to meet Diana in an hour and you wanted ice-cream.”

You smile at that. “Yes, please!” You turn to Doctor Q and wave. “Bye, Doctor. Thank you for today.”

Doctor Q smiles at you too. “Bye, Kara. Thank _you_ for coming today.”

“Goodbye, Doctor Quinzel,” Kori intones formally. “We will see you next week.”

You let Kori guide you by the hand out to the sun and far away from Doctor’s Q foul smelling office.

_~Are you okay?~_ Kori asks the moment you are both out.

You nod. _~Yes.~_

You can feel your sister’s eyes on you, but you concentrate in looking for an ice-cream shop of any kind. _~Kara…~_

You turn to her. _~I’m fine. I promise.~_

Kori stops walking, barely a street over from Doctor’s Q building. She tugs at your hand, making you look up to meet her eyes. _~Kara.~_

You scrunch up your nose. _~I promise, Kori. I’m fine.~_

Your sister looks at you, looking for something, maybe, before she nods. “Okay.” She starts walking again. “Let’s find that ice-cream.”

You smile. Yes, ice-cream sounds good.

XxXxX

You rub your eye. You are tired, and you want to go home.

“Good work, Kara.”

You blink up to Miss Diana, feeling your eyelids drop just a tiny bit. “Thank you.” You rub your eye again.

Miss Diana smiles and pats your head gently.

The first time she patted your head, the first day she started teaching you, you were startled enough to fly in the air for a second or two. You really don’t like for strangers to touch you, and Wonder Woman or not, Miss Diana was a stranger at that time and it freaked you out.

At least your firsts meetings with Miss Diana were held at your house and Auntie Renee was around for them. She was still on medical leave, and she offered to be around for those two weeks so you could get used to Miss Diana easily.

For more than a week now, though, Miss Diana has insisted that you meet her at Central Library and this is the fourth day Kori and you have gotten here on your own.

Mama was not too happy about it, but Kori and Mommy convinced her that it was a good idea. You don’t know why walking and taking a bus is a good idea when Mama’s car is more comfortable, but you like spending time with Kori so you didn’t protest at all.

And Kori buys you ice-cream daily before you get to the Library, so, really you like it.

“Tired, Kara?”

You nod. Your stomach rumbles.

Kori’s nose is buried deep in the book Miss Diana has her reading, but she looks up at that. “Hungry, sis?”

You pout and nod again. You want to go home.

Miss Diana looks at the small watch she always wears — so different from Mama’s bulky one and Mommy’s bland one — and she smiles. “We still have half an hour to go, girls, but I think we’ve worked hard enough today to finish early, don’t you think?”

You nod eagerly and Kori chuckles at you.

You are not really sure why, but Kori being this at ease around Miss Diana feels weird.

It’s almost as if Kori should act closed off around her all the time … you think that maybe Kori should be ready to fight Miss Diana at any moment, but you don’t know why you think that when Kori has never been other than polite and attentive to Miss Diana.

It’s weird.

But you have felt like this for other things too before, so you don’t pay much attention to it.

Kori and Miss Diana start packing your things up so you jump to help them sort the books you are taking home and those that you will be returning to the carts.

Mommy and Auntie Kate were confused when Miss Diana asked you to meet her at the Library instead of your house, but Mama and Auntie Renee approved of it. Apparently, it doesn’t matter that the internet has so many resources, nothing beats leaving the house and learn in a place meant to be studied in… or so Mama said.

It’s not that you couldn’t learn anywhere, Auntie Renee said, but more like having the discipline and habit of getting up and doing your chores before leaving the house and facing the world.

Mama said that it was important you got out the house too, and not only because gaining a routine is important, but because home should be the place to relax and unwind, not the place where you spend all the time.

Mommy and Auntie Kate got it then, and so did Kori and you and even Auntie Kate offered to buy you your own laptop so you could study at the library easily… and that’s why you are now the owner of a laptop the same model of Kori’s … even when hers is a dull grey color and yours is an amazing purple one.

“Do you mind if I give you girls a lift?”

You rub your eye again, shouldering your backpack. You will check out your books and head home, and if Kori accepts Miss Diana’s offer, maybe you will even manage to nap a little in her car.

Kori looks at you quickly and then turns to Miss Diana. “We’d appreciate it, ma’am.”

Miss Diana smiles then. “Come on then, girls.”

Miss Diana leads you to the front desk where you and your sister check out your books for the weekend, and then she takes you to a nearby parking lot. By the time you reach her car and you climb on the backseat, your eyelids are heavy and you feel a slight pressure on your eyes.

_~You okay, Kara?~_ The car has already started, and you look to the passenger seat to see Kori looking back at you with a frown on her face.

You rub your eye again. _~My eyes hurt.~_

“Close them, Kara,” Miss Diana says gently. “Nap a little. It’ll take us at least twenty minutes to reach your house.”

You don’t miss the look Kori sends Miss Diana. It’s the same look she sends Auntie Kate or Mommy when they say stuff Kori doesn’t know and Mama has to explain.

You don’t get why she is eyeing Miss Diana like that, but you don’t care.

You close your eyes and settle in the soft seat.

XxXxX

“… for inviting me.”

“It’s our pleasure, really.”

You can hear Mama’s voice and gentle banging of the kitchen pots and heavy breathing.

You open your eyes and are met with your sister’s face.

You blink heavily, not surprised that Kori is napping beside you or that you fell asleep in the first place.

You have been sleeping more and more lately and Mama says that’s because maybe your body is getting ready to grow a little more. You don’t want that, though, you like being little so Mama and Mommy carry you around. If you get to be tall like Mama, or Rao forbid, like Miss Diana, then no one will want to carry you anymore.

Kori grumbles in her sleep and you giggle at how silly she looks with her nose scrunched up.

You float a little, just enough to climb over your sister and escape the couch. You like this couch, it’s soft and wide and lets you nap on it and wake up rested and without neck pains like the couch, you had in Gotham.

You miss Gotham sometimes, yes. You sort of miss Dave and June, but you wouldn’t want to go back. No. National City is prettier and you get to have Kori and Mama and Mommy and Auntie Kate and Auntie Renee here. You don’t really have a reason to go back.

You smile as you float lazily into the kitchen. You even have Miss Diana and Doctor Q here too.

No. Going back to Gotham is not something you want.

“Good sleep?”

You blink up to see Mama cooking something on the stove. She has a glass of wine resting on the counter and all her focus is on the food. You turn to the left and blink at seeing Miss Diana looking at you with a small smile. She too has a glass of wine, and she sips it quietly, still looking at you.

“Yes,” you answer her.

Her smile widens. “Good.”

“What are you doing here?”

Miss Diana snorts and Mama groans. “Kara…”

“No, no,” Miss Diana snickers. “Let her be. I’m here Kara because your Mama invited me for dinner.”

“Oh.” You rub your eye and turn to Mama. “Juice?”

Mama shakes her head but she’s smiling. “You have a bottle in the fridge, baby.”

You nod and float to the fridge, getting your juice and uncapping it quickly.

“How is your kid?” You hear Mama ask. “Haven’t heard from her for a while now?”

Miss Diana snorts. Why do they always snort? You will have to ask Auntie Renee or Doctor Q why the people around you snort. They are the ones that explain to you the better why certain actions go with certain emotions. Mama tries when you ask her, but she sometimes doesn’t know _why_ she does some things and Mommy always gets confused at your questions. You know she doesn’t get confused hastily, no, Mama explained that Mommy simply doesn’t know how to answer you sometimes, so you save your questions for Auntie Renee and Doctor Q.

“… she is actually Kortni’s age.”

You don’t know what they were talking about while you were sipping your juice, but Mama has stopped her cooking, and she is looking back at Miss Diana with raised eyebrows. “Wait, what?”

Miss Diana chuckles. “Yes, I know. She is smart for her age and the Amazon training has done wonders for her. I adopted her when she was four.” Miss Diana smiles softly. “She’s my moonlight.”

Mama nods. “She is wicked smart, yes. She helped loads with looking for Kara.”

You scrunch up your nose. You don’t like talking about when Kori was bad and took you. But, she is good now, and she is away from General In-Ze, who made her so sad.

“It was her pleasure, really,” Miss Diana comments. She eyes you with a smile. “I think she’s fond of this little girl.”

She sips her wine and you climb onto a stool next to her. Your eyes feel a little heavy and you squeak out a yawn. “Why?” you ask Miss Diana, confused by her last statement.

Miss Diana grins. “Well, that’s because-”

“Mama?”

Miss Diana is interrupted by Kori floating in the kitchen and you blink at her. Kori calling Mama and Mommy Mama and Mom only happen when she just woke up or when she is unaware of her surroundings. She called Mommy Mom once at Hot Topic, and she called Mama Mama the other night when she got all confused when we were playing Monopoly.

“Yes, little star?”

“I’m hungry.” Kori hugs Mama by the neck, resting her forehead on Mama’s shoulder. She is still floating, so she is almost a little taller than Mama now.

Mama pats Kori’s hands. “Once you wake up a bit more, set the table, please. You too Kara.”

You cross your arms on the countertop and fake a snore. You hate setting the table.

“Kara…”

You whine.

“C’mon, baby sis,” Kori calls to you. Her words are a little slurred and you feel a gentle tug on your hair. You look up to see Kori floating beside you. “I’m hungry,” she says while softly tugging your hair again.

“Mama!” You whine. “Kori’s pulling my hair!”

“Hey! I’m not!”

“Are too!”

“Are no-”

“Enough.” Mama’s voice is not hard, but it’s her ‘stop it voice’ the one you have gotten used to for the last several weeks. In fact, it’s a voice you’ve gotten to know ever since Kori came live with you. “Set the table, girls. No arguing.”

“But-” “Mam-”

“Girls.”

You sigh and Kori floats away. Mama didn’t even look at you as she scolded you and you pout at her back.

“Kara, put that lip away.”

“But Mama!”

“Kara Álainn.”

You swear Mama has eyes in the back of her head. Mommy does too. They always know when you’re doing stuff even when they aren’t looking at you.

Kori starts taking plates from the pantry and silverware. Your sister and you could probably set the table in under a second if Mama let you use your super speed, but that’s the one power you aren’t allowed to use inside the house.

Well, that and Kori’s laser-eyes…

But, in your sister’s defense, Streaky is really sneaky when she wants to be, and she startled Kori, and so the hole in the living room’s ceiling is not really her fault.

“I can help,” Miss Diana offers, half raising.

“No,” Mama stops her. “Let them do it. It’s part of their chores.”

You get up and start helping your sister, knowing that if you don’t rise now Mama will make you get up either way. If you pretend to help Kori will still do the most work and Mama won’t scold you again. Your sister is the one that likes setting the table … why won’t Mama ask her to do it on her own?

“… adapted so well.”

You tune in what Mama and Miss Diana are talking about as you set the forks in place.

“She’s an easy kid. She’s polite most of the time, and she obeys … most of the time.”

“Hey! I always obey!”

Kori leaves the spoons she has been placing and heads back to the kitchen, where Mama is waiting for her with a smirk and open arms. “I’m messing with you, little star.”

You look at Kori and Mama hugging and Miss Diana chuckling then back at the half-set table.

You sigh.

You really don’t want to set the table.

Why are Kori and Mama hugging when Kori should be helping you?

XxXxX

_~_ … _Bless my homeland. Bless my loves ones. Bless my soul and give me faith. Rao, let us reunite, let us be one again.~_

You three keep silent a moment, basking on the feel of ease that always comes with elevating your prayers to Rao.

_~_ _May his light greets you in the morrow, ~_ Kori mumbles after a while, hugging quickly.

_~May her love illuminates your dreams, ~_ you mumble back.

You blink heavily, looking how Kori floats down your tall bed and goes into your shared bathroom. You know she is not going to be sleeping any time soon and part of you, want to stay up too, but you are tired, and Miss Diana just left and you just want to sleep.

_~Want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?~_ Mama asks you and you nod.

You miss being able to cuddle with her whenever you want during the day. You miss having her around all the time. You miss being able to come into her office and climb on her lap while she works. You miss being near her.

You miss her.

_~Kara, baby? Why are you crying?~_

You sniff, turning to her and hiding in her chest. _~Mama.~_

_~Baby?~_

_~Mama.~_

You feel her arms tighten around you. You rub your nose on her breast, inhaling her scent. Mama always smells sweet, like flowers. You don’t really like it when she wears perfume or deodorant, you prefer her like this, recently showered.

You asked Mama to have a shower with you tonight, you didn’t feel like bathing and you didn’t feel like being on your own. Mommy didn’t come home tonight either and you miss her too. You miss her so much.

_~I want Mommy,~_ you whine.

Mama sighs. _~Oh, Kara. I’m so sorry, baby. Mom is at work right now, love, she’ll be here in the morning.~_

_~I want her, Mama. Please.~_

Mama kisses your hair and you blink heavily. _~I’m sorry, baby. She’ll be here in the morning.~_

You sob at that.

You miss your Mommy.

You miss your Mama.

You miss spending the entire day with them.

You miss seeing them all the time.

You miss them.

~My heart shall see light, ~ Mama starts singing your lullaby and you concentrate on it. On how it always calms you, in how it makes you at ease. _~Our hearts shall be forever go forth.~_

You remember how you learnt it together shortly before Mama went away to school. You were little and you didn’t want Mama, Lexie, to go.

She was the only one that loved you back there and you didn’t want to be with Eliza and Jeremiah.

You cuddle closer to Mama after thinking of them.

_~Rest in dreamland. I'll soon be there. Wait for me my love.~_

Your mind goes to Doctor Q and her questions. You know what you feel when you think of Eliza and Jeremiah … when you think of Kori’s parents … when you think of Maria and Mary.

You know what you feel. You understand the feeling. You have felt it plenty before…

… But you still don’t want to voice it.

_~You know I'm here. To join you in dreams. You have nothing to fear.~_

You fall asleep with thoughts of guilt and fear and anger and pain.

XxXxX

_~I love you, Kara. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to be confused. This is real, baby sis. You are with me, I’m not leaving you. This is real.~_

You blink heavily.

Everything snapping into focus.

Gone is the red tint that made everything scary and unnatural.

Gone is the hotness and heaviness in the air.

Gone is the long shadows everywhere.

Gone is the smell of rotten from your nose.

Kori is still before you, but she is no longer wearing her black one-piece suit. Her hair is also way shorter, and her cheeks are fuller.

She is also frowning down at you as she keeps saying those same words.

_~I love you, Kara. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to be confused. This is real, baby sis. You are with me, I’m not leaving you. This is real.~_

You look around.

You are at Central Library.

Miss Diana is at your side, her eyes fixed in both of you.

There are books on the floor and your laptop is there too.

You really hope it’s not broken.

You don’t want to make Auntie Kate be disappointed in you.

You blink heavily.

“Kori?” You ask in a whisper, confused.

Kori nods. “Yes, sunny. It’s me. Are you alright?”

You shake your head. It feels as if a small marble were rattling inside your skull.

“Kara?” This time is Miss Diana the one talking. You look at her, trying to place what’s the last thing you remember.

You remember that Mommy dropped Kori and you near the library before she headed to work.

You remember that Miss Diana gave you a sheet with calculus problems, and she told you today you were going to have a test to see how advanced your French is.

You remember that she left you to your problems as she quizzed Kori on the Civil War…

… And that’s it. That’s what you remember.

Then it was all red and all long shadows and Miss Diana and Kori were there, but they also weren’t.

“I want Mama,” you tell them both, blinking heavily.

Kori nods. “I called her, sunny. She is coming soon.”

You sniffle and realize you are crying. “Want Mommy.”

Your sister nods again. “She is on her way too.” She reaches out to you. “Can I hug you?”

You launch onto her arms, cuddling on her lap. You hide your face in her neck, sobbing softly.

You hate this.

You hate not knowing where you are, what are you doing, who you are with.

You hate not remembering what you ‘see’, what you ‘hear’, what you ‘do’. You know your mind somehow ends in Krypton most of the time, but you still can’t really remember much about your time there… only that you are in Krypton and Mama and Mommy are not there.

“Mama?” you ask against Kori’s neck.

“Mama’s coming, Kara. Just hold on. Just hold on.”

XxXxX

“I need you to talk to me, Kara.”

You sniff.

You shake your head.

Your thumb is in your mouth and you keep tugging at your gemstone.

It’s bothering you more and more and you want it off.

But you can’t have it off.

You suck harder at your thumb.

Mama took the day off today, and she dropped Kori with Miss Diana before she drove you to Doctor Q’s. It’s not the time for your next meeting, but still, you are here with her.

“Kara?”

You shake your head again.

After the episode at the library, after Mama got to you after Mommy arrived with Karen in tow … you didn’t feel like talking.

You haven’t talked in two days. You haven’t wanted to do your school work. You haven’t wanted to take your thumb out, at all. So Mama brought you to Doctor Q’s.

Doctor Q sighs. “I want to help you, sweetie … but I need you to talk to me.”

You blink and sniff again. You don’t want to talk. You don’t want to think. You want to cuddle Mama or Mommy or both and sleep. You want to be with them.

“’ama.”

“Do you want your Mama here?”

You nod.

You need Mama.

Doctor Q goes to the desk and calls her secretary. You don’t care what she tells him, you only care when there’s a knock at the door and Mama is coming straight for you.

_~Kara?~_

You reach with your free hand for her, clinging to her neck the moment she takes you in her arms.

Your name sounds the same in English and in Kryptonian, not like Kori’s name that has a slightly different tilt to it in Kryptonian, but you still somehow can hear when Mama switches to your birth language.

You don’t want to use Kryptonian right now, though.

“’ama.”

“Kara?”

“’o home.”

Mama sits down and combs your hair back. “Baby, your session is not up yet.”

You blink back tears. You want to go home now. “’ama!”

“Kara.” Mama places a kiss on your hair. “Close your eyes, baby. Concentrate on my heartbeat. Let me talk with Doctor Quinzel for a little, okay?”

You sniff, letting your tears fall against your Mama’s shirt. You close your eyes, rubbing your nose to her. Today she smells like her purple perfume and you are glad. The purple perfume is good for your nose and makes you think on the flower fields Mama sometimes took you to play in when you were little … before she left for college.

At that thought, you try to stop thinking and concentrate on Mama’s slightly faster than normal heartbeat as she speaks with Doctor Q, but you are not interested in their talk.

They always talk about stuff you don’t understand. Stuff you don’t want to understand.

You just want to go home.

You hear the word ‘dissociation’ used again. It’s a word Doctor Q uses often when she talks to Mama or Mommy. She tried to explain it to Kori once too, but you were busy drawing for Doctor Q’s your dreams to really pay attention.

It’s not something you care to know, either way.

‘PSTD’, ‘regression’, ‘trauma’, ‘separation’, ‘anxiety’… those are words spoken about you often, too.

You don’t care for them in any way, even when they are using them now, again.

You keep your eyes closed and concentrate as hard as you can on Mama’s heart.

You concentrate on her, knowing she is here, and she is not going anywhere.

Rao, you hope she goes nowhere.

XxXxX

You hate it when Mama and Mommy and Kori are super cautious around you … but, at the same time, you like it now.

It allows you to be in someone’s arms all the time.

Doctor Q insisted you needed to keep your routine and that you need to keep your school work and that Mama and Mommy shouldn’t take any more time off.

“She’ll adapt. She needs to learn to adapt,” she said.

You are mad at Doctor Q right now.

You wanted to be with Mama and Mommy all the time … not in this Museum with Miss Diana and Kori.

At least you have learned that Miss Diana’s hugs are almost as good as Mommy’s. There will never be better hugs that Mama’s and Kori is barely starting to hug properly, but Miss Diana’s hugs are okay.

She offered to carry you around and you were hesitant at first, but … Kori really needs to work on her cuddles and Miss Diana is kind and patient, and she never makes you feel like a burden like El-

No. Not thinking of her. On them.

You have been thinking too much about them lately and you don’t want to.

“Understood, girls?”

You have no idea what Miss Diana just told you, but you nod either way.

You don’t care about it.

“Kara?”

“Yes, Miss Diana.”

“Kara?” Miss Diana shuffles you around in her arms, prompting you to meet her eyes. “You didn’t pay attention, did you?”

You shake your head and wiggle to be put down.

Miss Diana lets you down and you immediately grab onto Kori’s hand.

“Kara?”

“Can we go home now?” You direct your question to your sister.

Kori looks at you and then at Miss Diana. “I don’t think so.”

You can feel the tears in your eyes before you can think of them. “I want to go home, please.”

Kori’s arms are around you in an instant. “Okay, okay.” She turns to Miss Diana then. “Can we go now? Please?”

Miss Diana narrow her eyes at you, and you try your best not to wither under her gaze.

You fail.

“We are almost finished, girls, you are just going to have to endure this for an hour more.” She informs you plainly.

Your sister grabs your hand, and shakes your hand to make you look at her, “Come one, little sis, _~we will be home before you know it.~”_

She lets go of your hand to stand next to Miss Diana to make their point more clear.

Now, you can feel your tears falling, they are going to force to use your nuclear option, the one that no longer works with Mama, and sometimes works with Mommy, they are not listening, you want to go home, and they are not listening, so they are going to get an eyeful of what your Auntie Renee calls “your lethal puppy pout.”

Doctor Q admitted to you that she uses her very own —nuclear option— her pout with Miss Pam, and she said that it always works for her. No matter what.

You face them, with your pout in place.

Miss Diana eyes grow with concern with each passing second, and your sister, she seems so worried that for a moment you hesitate, and all you want to do is hug your sister to chase the worry away, but you really want to go home, and they were the ones forcing you to use the pout in the first place.

Kori and Miss Diana look at each other and then at you. “Kori, do you feel like you just kicked truckload full of puppies and stole the candy of a thousand babies? Because that’s exactly how I feel right now.”

Kori nods, “I don’t understand what you just said, but I think the sentiment breaks all cultural and language barriers.”

Miss Diana groans and nods, “Fine, you win, little joy, I’ll take you, girls, home.”

Your sister picks you up, and you happily let her hold you, _~You don’t play fair, Sunny. I’m going to ask Alex and Maggie how to develop immunity to your pout.~_

“You know, when I was training with aunt Antiope she warned me about the wickedness of man, she warned me about the wariness I had to have with the enemy, always on the lookout in battles, but she never told me anything about little Kryptonians girls and their powerful pouts.” Miss Diana complains, making Kori giggle and nod in sympathy.

You try your best to hide the smirk you feel growing, you choose not to say anything.

Why are your Mommies immune to your pout, when people like Wonder Woman is not? It’s so unfair.

Maybe they do have superpowers after all.

“Come on, girls, it’s time to go home.” Miss Diana softly adds.

You hide your face against Kori’s shoulder, but you can feel her nodding once more. “Thank you.”

As Miss Diana and your sister walk to Miss Diana car she asks “Do you need any help holding your sister, Kortni?”

Kori shakes her head, “No, thank you, Miss Diana, I’m okay. Thank you for the offering.”

You can feel Miss Diana beam, “Any time, sweet girl.”

They make several stops along the way, Miss Diana is still showing and explaining to Kori some of the exhibits, “You are getting a bit taller, aren’t you, Kortni?” Miss Diana inquires with amusement in her voice.

Kori stops, suddenly she feels hot, hotter than usual, and you just know that she is blushing really red, you can feel her holding tighter to your shirt, just like she always does with Mama and Mom when she is nervous about something, “Do you think so?”

You have to concur with Miss Diana statement, Kori is getting taller, when you first saw her she was almost as tall as Mommy, but now, you think she is an inch or two taller than her.

Auntie Kate says that anyone in the universe is taller than Mommy, but then again, Auntie Kate often likes to make fun of Mommy’s height.

Miss Diana snorts, “Yeah, Kori, you are growing up to be an honorable daughter of Krypton. And I’m not saying this because of your height, but because you and your sister are the perfect representation of your houses and the Kryptonian culture. _~I’m very proud of you, girls.~_ ”

You smile at that, you can feel Kori smiling too and blushing even hotter now; Miss Diana is very kind, and your sister truly deserves all the praise she can get.

Kori is certainly a fantastic sister, she is a great student, exceptionally smart, she always wants to learn and never backs down from a challenge, she is very protective of you, of your Mommies and Aunties even when she likes to deny it, she consistently wants to do her best, and her best is genuinely the best, why can her parents, well, your parents see that, will boggle your mind.

You can’t wait until Kori decides to join your family and start consciously calling your Mommies, Mama and Mommy too.

You are sure they are going to love her and praise her constantly. Much more than they do now.

After what it seems like an eternity, —really, how far in where you in the museum that it took so long to reach the parking lot.— all of you finally get to Miss Diana’s car, and to your unpleasant surprise, she now owns a car seat.

You tense in Kori’s arms, and she feels it because her hold on you strengthen.

“A car seat?” Kori mercifully asks.

Miss Diana, chuckles, “Here, let me help you.” Kori hands you to Miss Diana, helping you sit and with the straps of your brand-new car seat. “And yes, is for your sister’s safety.”

“Not you too, I am almost indestructible, I don’t need a car seat. Did you buy this thing for your daughter?” You whine making Kori and Miss Diana laugh.

She tickles your tummy, “I thought you were asleep, little joy?”

You grumble, “I was! Now, I’m not! Why?” Glaring at the car seat.

“No, not for my daughter, she is a bit taller than Kortni is,’ she chuckles shaking her head, ‘and I know you dislike car seats little sun, but I’m doing this for your safety and to set an example.” She says as she finishes strapping you to that cursed thing.

She then turns to Kori, “If you want, you can sit in the passenger seat with me or you can join your sister here in the backseat, beware the little sun is getting a little grumpy.”

Kori pretends to think about it, “I’ll join you in the front, Miss Diana, thank you.”

Your sister pats your head, and so does Miss Diana, making you whine some more.

“Don’t worry, little sun, if you need anything, your sister and I will be just a few inches away from you. And I even got neck pillows and my daughter got blankets with my symbol on them. For Kori and you.” Miss Diana says as she hands you and Kori the gifts.

_~Thank you, Miss Diana.~_ Kori and you say at the same time.

_~You’re welcome, girls.~_ Miss Diana says in perfect Kryptonian, she doesn’t even have that awful accent that Kal-El has.

_~And please, say thank you to your daughter from us.~_ Kori says while you yawn.

_~I will, she will be glad to know you liked your gifts.~_ Her Kryptonian is almost as flawless as yours.

_~Now, little joy, close your eyes, and take a little nap.~_ Miss Diana states before closing your door and going to the driver’ seat.

You nod, well, at least this car seat doesn’t have as many straps as the ones your Mommies and Aunties have in their cars.

_~Don’t worry, baby, sleep well and before you know it, we will be back in our house.~_ Kori says in a hushed voice.

You nod again.

The ride home is relaxed, you are watching the buildings and other cars slowly going by, you can hear Kori and Miss Diana having a whispered talk, “If it’s okay with you, maybe I can keep you company until your Mommies or Aunties get home, we even can stop at a restaurant of your choice to get food, we can have some sort of picnic, and we can watch a movie or two while we wait, what do you think, girls?”

Kori seems to ponder for a little while, you think she is trying to understand everything Miss Diana just told her.

Kori turns to look at you, you feel yourself sleepily nodding, she nods back, grabbing your hand smiling gently at you, returning to her quiet talk with Miss Diana. “That sounds lovely, Miss Diana, thank you—“

_~Sunny! Where are you?~_ Kori teases you with a booming voice.

You can hear yourself giggling trying in vain to hide it, and at the same time, you know that you are doing your best to remain unseen.

You know she is pretending not to see you, Kori laughs as she looks around to look for you.

_~Where oh where did my little Sunny go?~_ Kori calls out in a sing-song voice.

Making you giggle once again. Kori’s attention is now in your general direction.

Once more, you try your best to conceal your laughter and to hide from her.

She kneels near a bed, a few feet away from you, _~Could my little sun be under the bed?~_

_~No, no Sunny there.~_ She carefully stands up, _~Could my little sun be … under the black table?~_ With an exaggerated movement she ducks down to check under the table, _~Nope, no Sunny there either. Dear Rao, help me find my little sun.~_

Apparently, Kori has the ability to constantly make you giggle, and this time was no different, she again pretends she didn’t hear you.

She looks around the room, dropping her shoulders in mock-disappointment, _~Oh no, no sign of my tiny sunshine anywhere, I guess I’ll just have to tell our parents we can’t go to see the dragons since my little baby sister is missing.~_

Kori walks slowly towards the entrance to the room trying to hide the grin that threatens to erupt across her face right now.

She knows that what she said is going to make you come out of hiding.

You frantically scramble out of your hiding place, running after Kori as fast as your little legs allow you to.

_~No! No, I no missin’ I here!~_ You tell her as she dramatically spins and gasps.

_~Where do you come from?~_ Kori says, kneeling, she stretches out her arms to you and you happily launch yourself at her, so she can hold you.

_~I promise I checked everywhere in this room!~_ She stands while she blows a raspberry in your cheek.

_~No, no, no, no tickle.~_ You try to wiggle out of her hold.

_~Seriously, little sunshine, where were you hiding? I swear I looked everywhere for you.~_ She now is tickling your belly, like before you try to get away from Kori’s wriggling fingers, and like before you fail miserably.

_~No, Kori, no tickle! Mo’the’! Fathe’! ‘elp!~_

Your call for help only encourages Kori to tickle you even more, making you laugh harder.

_~Stop torturing your sister, tiny star. That’s my job.~_ A kind but teasing voice tells her.

Kori smirks at where the voice comes from, _~I’m sorry, Father, but since I was on a mission for weeks without end, my Sunny energy ran out, and as you can see, I’m just recharging.~_

Your father laughs, she stands in front of you, gently caresses Kori’s face, her eyes full of love, _~Welcome home, my little star, we missed you terribly.~_

Kori’s eyes water a little, and after a few she hugs father with all her might, crushing you in the middle of them, you try to get away from their crushing hug, but Kori’s grip on you is very strong leaving you unable to escape.

_~I missed all you too, I’m glad to be back home.~_ She cuddles with father for a bit more. Still crushing you between them.

Father disentangles herself Kori and you, patting your head, _~Now, now, tiny star, don’t cry, you are going to make me cry, and then we are going to make Kara cry, until we are all crying, and then your Mother is going to be mad at us for making her baby cry, and then she is going to send us to time out, and we won’t be able to see the dragons, and I really want to spend time as a family, and if your sister cry we are in big deep trouble, and —~_

Kori laughs holding you closer to her, _~Remember to put spaces between words, Father. Don’t forget to breathe while you talk, I can’t have you fainting right here and scaring Kara. Mother will never forgive me. And if anyone is going to be in trouble is you. I just got home, and Mother won’t ever punish her daughter. I’m too pretty to be punished.~_

Father pouts, _~Why oh why is my daughter so cruel to me?~_ She lets a few tears fall down her face for more dramatic effect, your sister just rolls her eyes at her, _~Give me my baby! It’s my turn to get a recharge.~_

“Kara—”

Kori tries to keep you out of Father’s reach, making you squeal excitedly as they mock fight over who gets to hold you, you shriek with laughter as you keep changing arms every few seconds.

_~What are you two doing to my baby?!~_ A firm yet familiar voice is heard behind you, causing your father and sister to stop completely.

This time you end up in your father’s arms, reaching for your mother, _~Mo’the’! Kori, Fathe’ no tickle.~_

“Kara—“

Mother reaches for you, and immediately you hide your face in her chest, to listen to the calming sound of her heart, she opens her free arm to Kori, _~Come here, little star, we have missed you so much.~_

Your sister wastes no time, to jump into your mother’s free arm, and you find yourself again crushed between two people.

Your mother murmurs sweet words to Kori, while your sister is momentarily turning into a blubbering mess. _~I’m so proud of you, my little star.~_ She hugs Kori even tighter and your sister correspond just as tight.

“Kara—“

All of a sudden, you hear your mother and sister giggling looking at something behind you, _~Oh, stop pouting Lara and come here, join our hug.~_

_~I just can’t understand why is my family so cruel to me? Thank Rao, Kara is little, and she still loves me, and she is not mean to me.~_ Father says with an obvious harrumph in her voice.

Mother giggles again, and so does Kori, _~Oh, come on, father, hugs us, and then we can finally go see the dragons.~_

_~Ooh, dragons! I had forgotten all about it.~_ And finally, she joins the hug. Your warm family hug.

“Kara—“

You wish you could stay in their arms forever. They make you feel safe and loved.

Mother affectionately shakes her head, _~Never change, love.~_ Leaving a tiny peck on father’s lips. _~Now, explain to me, what were you two doing to my baby?~_

_~Tickle!~_ You said helpfully.

_~Little traitor.~_ Kori and your father mumble under their breaths.

You just giggle at them.

Your family starts to walk towards a door, you guess a door that leads to the outside of your home.

“Kara—“

_~I was only recharging until father decided to take her away from me.~_ Kori teases.

Father noisily gasps, _~You were tickling her when I found the two of you, and besides I also wanted to recharge, I have a right you know.~_

Your mother shakes her head again, clearly amused, _~Recharging, huh? By tickling her?~_

Kori shrugs, _~It’s the quickest way to get the Sunny energy. You should try it too.~_

Mother raises an eyebrow at her, but says nothing, _~What about you, Lara?~_

_~Whatever Kori said.~_ Father quickly says. A bit panicky.

Mother sighs, but you know she is not angry or annoyed by them, she is just amused.

“Kara—“

Father speaks with her pout in full force. _~Love, can I hold my baby now? I’m sorry for tickling her so much.~_

_~I’m sorry too, Mother, may I please be allowed to hold her, seeing as my time recharging was interrupted.~_ Kori teases father again.

Your mother turns to them, her eyebrow high in her face, _~No!~ It was_ her short answer.

Father and Kori look so shocked that it almost looks funny, _~What? Why?~_ They both exclaim at the same time.

Mother starts running, _~Because it is my time to get my Sunny energy!~_

You squeal with laughter again.

_~Not fair, Alura! Give me my baby!~_ Father says as she too runs trying to catch mother and you.

Kori is almost catching with mother and you, with father not too far behind her, _~Oh, come on, Mother, give me sister back!~_

You guess that her training is showing right now because suddenly, you are not in your mother’s arms, but in Kori’s.

And now she is the one running away from your parents.

Kori can run much faster than mother, and that makes you shriek with laughter.

“Kara—“

You can feel yourself taking a deep breath, trying hard to get your breathing back to normal again.

Slowly you open your eyes to find Miss Diana worryingly staring at you.

“Are you okay, little sun?” Miss Diana asks you with the distress clear in her naturally calm eyes.

“I-I-”

You take a deep breath again.

“I think so.” You shakily say.

You look in the front seat looking for your sister. “Kori?”

Miss Diana smiles a little, pointing to your right.

“She is buying food, you know for our little party.” She answers you.

You look to your right to see that they are buying food from Noonan’s, after waking up from that memory it wouldn’t be too terrible to eat food from one of your favorite restaurants.

“All by herself?” You ask dumbfounded.

Miss Diana chuckles, the worry leaving her eyes, even if it is just for a few seconds, “She insisted, and who am I to say no to her pouty face?”

Your breathing is back to normal, though you don’t feel like you normally do after one of your episodes.

Which it is for lack of a better word odd.

You nod, still looking at Kori while she waits for the food.

“Are you sure you are okay, little sun? Do you want me to call your Mommies? Maybe do you want me to call Kortni? Or maybe Doctor Quinzel?” Miss Diana asks you kindly.

You look at her trying to reassure her, _~I’m fine, a little shaken up, but I do feel fine.~_

She smiles sympathetically at you, relenting, “If you say so, little sun, but I must agree with you, you do seem different from the last time this happened.”

You think about her words, apparently, you look different, and you also feel different.

You feel considerably less disoriented, you didn’t see the remnants of Krypton’s red sun, you didn’t feel the sluggishness, you didn’t see the scary shadows, you didn’t feel the smell of death in the air.

You just—you just woke from a dream.

A memory?

You look to your right again, Kori is looking worryingly at you, and to ease her worry you wave to her with a genuine smile in your face and to your surprise, Miss Diana is also waving enthusiastically at your sister too.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Miss Diana suggests.

You watch from the corner of your eye, how Kori is talking to a waitress, she seems comfortable, and you think she is actually enjoying her nonchalant conversation with the hostess; you switch your eyes to Miss Diana, looking directly at her, shaking your head, “I don’t want to get pissed off again, and I don’t want to make Kori sad.”

Miss Diana chuckles softly, “’Pissed off’? Interesting choice of words you are full of surprises, little joy, but joking aside, you shouldn’t let things bottled up, you have a kind, forgiving heart, little sun, don’t let animosity corrupt your precious heart.”

You sigh, defeated, “I-I- I don’t know what I saw—“ You stop, trying to look for the right words.

“It’s okay, little sun, if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine. However, I’ll be here if you want an opinion from someone neutral. I’ll always be here for you and your family, little sun.” She gently reminds you.

You take a deep breath, “I don’t know what I saw if it was a dream or memory, I don’t know. At first, I was hiding from Kori, we were playing hide-and-seek I think, I remember feeling so happy to see her, but at the same time I was trying my best to hide; then next thing I knew she was tickling me, and then—

“Then, our parents were there too, —“

“Your parents? You mean, your Mommies?” She asks.

You shake your head, a little unsure of what you are going to say next, you swallow the lump in your throat, “Our Kryptonian parents.”

Miss Diana looks at you, “Ah. I understand. Please continue. What were your parents doing in your memory?”

“Welcoming Kori home, tickling me, hugging us, and having fake fights over who gets to hold me.” You tell her with the quietest voice you can muster, not wanting for Kori to overhear you.

Miss Diana giggles, “That doesn’t sound like a bad memory, little sun. What’s bothering you about it?”

You look to your right again, Kori is now alone frowning clearly irritated.

Waiting is not a strong suit of hers. Though to be fair, waiting can be irritating if you are waiting for food.

Especially when you are hungry.

“It’s not the memory in itself, it is more like inconsistent with what Kori has told me — told us about our parents.” You tell her with the utmost sincerity.

You are telling the truth, it was a nice memory, a nice dream.

“What do you mean, little joy?” She questions you with the same quiet voice you are speaking.

“Well, sometimes Kori tell us, about her life on Krypton, about her friends, about her life in the Military Guild, about her life with her parents, and her life at home, she told us that her parents were not affectionate people, she says Kryptonians weren’t the greatest to show affection even to their own family members, it was all very formal, and what I saw in the dream or memory is not what she has described so far.” You tell her in a composed voice still looking at your sister on how she is becoming more irritable with each passing minute.

She smiles at you before looking at somewhere to her left, and her smile widens, “Ah, little sun, it could be what you saw was a real memory, and what your sister told may be wrong after all she saw your parents, your people die, your planet exploding, when she and her aunt arrived on Earth, she thought her baby sister was dead, she thought she and her aunt were the last ones their civilization, it can be devastating for anyone little sun, and believe me when I tell you trauma can distort anyone’s memories.”

You pause for a moment, processing the information Miss Diana just gave you.

And she is right.

“Do you understand me, little joy?” Still looking at her left, still smiling widely.

You nod, searching for whatever it is that she is looking at.

She nods back, and for some reason, she pushes a button hanging from her pendant.

A comfortable silence falls in the car, and you close your eyes hoping to relax.

You hear Miss Diana chuckling, “It seems that your sister will finally be able to join us.”

You look to your right again, just in time to see Kori is paying for the food, and for the looks of it, it seems that Kori got a lot of food.

Lots of delicious smelling food.

Your stomach growls at the prospect of eating from one of your favorite restaurants.

Miss Diana giggles, “Hungry, little sun?”

“Yeah, the nap made me hungry, and being so close to Noonan’s made me even hungrier.” You say downplaying your embarrassment.

Miss Diana is now laughing wholeheartedly.

“It’s okay, I am hungry too, very hungry, as a matter of fact, I’m famished.” She says between laughs.

And you can do anything more than laugh with her.

Your treasonous stomach growling again, making Miss Diana laugh harder and your cheeks to turn redder.

A beeping sound comes out her pendant again, and again she pushes the button on it to silence it.

She turns to you, all the playfulness gone, her face is serious, “Little sun, I need to ask you a favor?”

“Yes? I think.” You hesitate.

“Would you please talk to your parents?”

“I talk to my Mommies every day, do you need me to ask them something in particular?” Still hesitating.

“Not your mommies, little sun, your parents, your Kryptonian parents.” She informs you with an unusual blank expression.

“No.” You huff crossing your arms.

You know if Mama were here she would scold you for your bad attitude.

Miss Diana sighs, but yet she still is not giving up, _~Little sun, I know you are angry, and rightfully so, you are just trying to protect your sister, you don’t want your sister to get hurt again, you don’t want your Mommies to get hurt either, but please believe me when I tell this: It will do you, your sister and your Mommies a world of good if you just talk to them.~_

Hearing her talking in your birth language is strange, and sort of overwhelming, this is not the first time you have heard her talking Kryptonian, it is also not the first time you have heard calling you the same nickname that aunt Astra called you when you were with her in her ship.

You close your eyes for a few seconds, breathing deeply, tears once again making their way down your cheeks, _~Why?~_

She gently grabs your hand, _~My apologies, baby, I didn’t mean to upset you or make you cry, but it is imperative that you talk to them. Please promise me that at least you are going to try.~_

She wipes the tears of your eyes, in the gentles way possible, _~What if they make my sister cry?~_

She gives you one of her soft smiles, _~You can lay out the rules, tell them that they have to apologize to your sister, to your Mommies, and if they say something offensive you won’t talk anymore, but please do try to talk to them.~_

You want to say yes, you really want to, but you are scared.

_~Little sun, could please promise me you are going to talk to your parents?~_ She pleads.

Sighing you nod, finally relinquishing to her request.

“—need you in Metropolis, there has been an attack of unknown origins.”

You hear someone huff offended.

“Can’t you send someone else? I’m actually getting ready for a sleepover … sort of.” A familiar voice says.

“That’s the thing we can’t. Superman is unconscious, and the other heroes we sent are getting thrashed.” The other voice is different; you can’t help, but noticed how this voice is also familiar to you.

“Fine,’ Somebody groans, ‘But you owe me J’onn.” The familiar voice laments.

“Very well, take your time to say goodbye to your students, Diana, I’ll see you in a few minutes, I’m going to teleport you there.” The other familiar voice replies.

This is the moment when you noticed two things: One, Miss Diana was the first familiar voice you heard complaining, and two, you are —were— in her arms sleeping.

Or rather, you are waking up in her arms.

Which it’s weird.

Because the last thing you remember you were awake.

You were waiting for Kori to get the food from Noonan’s.

You dreamed about Krypton and your parents.

You telling Miss Diana about it.

Your confusion with what you dreamed and what your sister told you about your parents.

You and Miss Diana giggling at Kori and her funny faces she made while she waited for our food.

Miss Diana pleading with you to talk to your parents.

You crying, refusing to talk to them out of fear of them hurting your sister again.

Miss Diana telling about how important it is for you and your family to talk to them.

Was your dream about your parents a dream? A dream within a dream? Was your interaction with Miss Diana a dream too? Was everything a dream?

You shuffle in her arms, wiggling.

Miss Diana chuckles, “Welcome to the land of the living, little sun. How was your nap?”

You wiggle again, but she holds you tighter like she is scared something might happen if she puts you down.

A gentle hand pets your head, “Hi, little sis, look what I have?’ You turn your head to where Kori is standing, and she shows you white paper bags full of delicious food. ‘Food from one of your favorite restaurants.”

You smile at her enthusiasm, you are sure she is excited because she has food with kale and other disgusting green things in it.

You turn your head back to Miss Diana, trying to get her to look you in the eyes, “Could you please put me down, I want to help with the bags.”

Miss Diana shakes her head, “Not yet, sweetie.”

You pout.

It doesn’t work.

You pout harder and still, it doesn’t work.

All of you enter the elevator, Kori puts the bags on the floor and uses her keychain to go to your floor.

“Hold the elevator, please!” A hasty voice calls out.

Tensing, you hide your face in Miss Diana’s shoulder as she uses her body to hold the elevator door open.

Miss Diana does her best to comfort you by gently stroking your back with her surprisingly soft hands.

You feel Kori tensing as well, and if she didn’t have her hands full of bags from Noonan’s, you are sure she will grab Miss Diana’s shirt or yours.

However, she moves to be as close as possible to you two.

You hear the newcomer sighing in relief, “Phew! Thank you for holding the elevator doors open, I’m in a hurry, and my parents and my daughter are going to arrive very soon, and at least I want to pretend that the house is half clean.”

For some unknown reason, you feel yourself relax, and somehow you can also feel Kori ease up, this person is not a threat, this person feels safe, this person feels familiar.

“You’re welcome.” Miss Diana says with a laugh, “What floor are you going to go to?”

“Oh, gosh—“ She pauses for a few seconds, “My head is all over the place right now.” She pauses again, “I’m going to the same floor as you, which means—“ Another pause, “You are my neighbors! I’m so happy that I can finally meet and talk to my neighbors.”

You turn to look at her, and you were right, she is definitely not a threat, on the contrary, she looks charismatic and charming.

She is stunningly beautiful, brunette, with friendly eyes and whose color reminds you of the color of your Mommy’s eyes, if you were to guess you would say that she is taller than Mama.

You stare at her, and she timidly waves her hand at you.

“My name is Samantha Arias, but you can call me, Sam, if you want, of course.” She shyly says while holding her hand to Miss Diana.

Miss Diana raises her arms a little to show her that she has both arms busy and unable to shake the offered hand.

You wiggle again and for some reason this time she lets you out of her hold, gently settling you down on the elevator floor.

With her now free hand, she shakes Sam’s hand, “Well, nice to meet you, Samantha Arias, my name is Diana Prince.” She smiles at your neighbor. “And they are—“ She points at Kori and at you, “Kortni, and this tiny one is Kara.”

Her hand goes to rest on the back of your head, giving you a little comfort.

Kori nods her head, also unable to shake your neighbor’s hand, “Hello, I’m Kortni Danvers-Sawyer.”

Kori also seems awfully calm, you know she is feeling the same as you about Samantha.

Samantha joyfully waves her hand in Kori’s direction, acknowledging Kori’s inability to greet her properly. “Hello, Kortni.”

She then crouches to be at the same level as your eyes, you bite your lip, “Hi, I’m Kara Danvers-Sawyer.”

Samantha tilts her head a bit to the right, she doesn’t push you to shake her hand or anything, waving her hand at you, “Hello, tiny one.”

She stands up, directing her eyes to Miss Diana again, “You have beautiful daughters Miss Prince. They look so much alike.”

You see that Kori is intently staring at Sam like she is trying to remember something, something important, but after Sam called you both beautiful and how alike you both are, her intense stare was now replaced by a dark blush.

Miss Diana giggles again and blushes, “Diana, please, and they are not my daughters, and it’s not that I wouldn’t want to be their mom, anybody would be lucky to be their mom, but they already have wonderful Mommies who love them very, very much. I’m just their tutor.”

You look at Miss Diana, doing your best to suppress the laugh that threatens to escape your mouth, Miss Diana rambling reminds you a lot of your father’s and your rambles.

The elevator dings indicating that you have finally reached your floor.

Samantha exits first, “Do you need any help with your bags?”

As the rest of you exit the elevator too, Miss Diana responds, “No, it’s okay, we’re fine, we have everything under control. Besides didn’t you say that your parents and daughter are arriving soon?”

Her eyes go wide, “Oh, right! Well, it was nice to meet all of you, and girls please tell your Mommies that I would love to meet them, have a great day everyone. It’s pancake o’clock! What should I make, chocolate chip or bana—” And before either you or Kori can answer her, she disappears behind her door.

You hear chuckling from above you, “That was fun, wasn’t it girls?”

You go to Kori to help her hold one of the bags so she can open the door a bit easier, but she didn’t react, she seems worried and she is again attentively staring at the close door.

She scrunches her nose, glaring at the door, and for a moment her eyes start to glow.

“Breathe Kori, breathe. She is not going to harm you or your family.” Miss Diana gentle voice breaks through her uneasiness.

Her glowing eyes vanish, replaced by her gorgeous grey-blue eyes.

“I’m okay, and it’s not that, I know she won’t harm us, I- I feel like I know her from somewhere, but I can’t remember from where and it’s really frustrating.” Kori’s voice is somehow simultaneously soft and ruffled.

Miss Diana gives her one of her odd smiles, “I’m sure everything will be alright. Do not fret little one.”

Kori finally opens the door, letting you and Miss Diana go in while she holds the door open. She nods at what Miss Diana said and relaxes a bit.

Settling the bags on the table, you turn to Miss Diana who is doing the same with her bags, “Was it all a dream?” You ask her.

“Was what a dream, little joy?” She looks puzzled.

Kori settles down her bags and moves to stand beside you, you tug her hand, and like always she holds you letting you rest on her hip. “The conversation we had in your car while we waited for Kori?”

She moves to stand in front of your sister and you, her eyes narrowing in concentration, “You were asleep the whole way to your home, little joy, I don’t remember any conversation. Tell that at least it was a good dream?.”

Your sister absentmindedly rubs your back to soothe you.

You nod, “Yes, it was, you even gave me advice in it.”

Her strange smile is back, “Well—“ Her phone makes a ping indicating a text, “I’m sorry girls, I have to go or I’m going to get J’onn moping the entire way to Metropolis, I better go, I will see you tomorrow girls, don’t forget your homework … And little sun, if I gave you good advice in your dream, follow it.”

You nod and you hide your face in Kori’s shoulder again.

Kori walks with Miss Diana to the door, “Don't you want to take anything from the bags to eat? Are you sure?”

She waves her hand, “No, it’s okay, J’onn interrupted my time with you, J’onn gets to buy me food, you can enjoy it now or wait for your Mommies and you can enjoy them as a family. The point is to enjoy them for me.”

“We will, thank you Miss Diana, and we will see you tomorrow.” And with that, she closes the door and back inside to the table where the food is.

_~Do you want to eat now, Sunny, or do you want to wait for Alex and Maggie?~_ She asks you in a soft voice trying not to startle you.

You shake your head, ~ _I want to take a nap.~_

_~Another one? Are you okay, Kara? Do you want me to call Alex and Maggie?~_ She asks worry marring her voice.

You tilt your head to look at her eyes, ~ _No, I just want to take a nap.~_

She seems to be debating herself, not sure of what to do, finally after several long seconds, she nods, _~Okay, Kara, if you are sure, you can take another nap. Do you want to take you to your room?~_

Strengthening your hold to Kori, you shake your head, _~No, I want to sleep with you, here. You hold me, please.~_ Doing your best pout.

She giggles, _~There is no need for you to use your pout, Sunny, I will do it. But let me get a “_ fork and the container” _and then we can lie on the couch. That way you can sleep and I can eat. I can feel my stomach starting to digest itself.~_

You pout anyway, and she groans.

She grabs a fork, a food container, and by the smell you of it guess is a disgusting kale salad and some sort of green smoothie that Mama made for Mommy and for Kori.

She sits across the couch, letting the length of her legs rest on it and allowing you to slide slightly so you can tuck your head under her chin and listen to her heart to help lull you to sleep.

You feel her kissing the top of your head, _~Have a good nap, Sunny. I love you.~_

In turn, you kiss her collarbone and hug her, _~I love you too, Kori.~_

_~Good news, everyone! Sage was finally able to contact us, and she has excellent news.~_

A voice suddenly frightens you awake making you whimper sadly.

The person holding you, grumble, _~Really, Lara? Do you know long it took me to calm her down?! Please lower your voice.~_

_~I’m so sorry, love.~_ Your father kisses your mother’s forehead. _~I didn’t mean to, here let me help you with her.~_

_~Fine. Be careful, she has been fussy and crying all day. I’m going to ask Kelex to check our baby.~_ Mother gently squeezing you before handing over to father’s waiting arms.

Father nods, strokes the little ringlet curls of your hair making you yawn and snuggle into her shoulder, _~Kara, would you forgive me for scaring you, baby?~_ Your father coos.

_~Yeah!~_ You babble back to her.

_~I’m so sorry I woke you up, little sun. Do you still love me?~_ Father is now holding you swaying gently with you.

_~Lov’! ‘athe’!~_ You say around another yawn.

_~I love you too, baby. And I love too, Alura.~_

_~I’m still annoyed you woke my baby, but I love you too, Lara. Now, was that about Sage and her message?~_ Mother replies clearly amused.

_~Wait! I want Astra and Kortni to hear the message with us too, it’s going to make them so happy.~_ Regardless of her obvious excitement, she is now whispering with the intent of not scaring you. Again.

You can’t see her, but you know that your mother is rolling her eyes at your father’s silliness, _~Kelex, please tell Kortni and Astra to meet here as soon as possible, tell them to be quiet, I don’t want them to scare her again, and you, Lara, give me my baby back.~_

_~Right away, Alura In-Ze.~_ A robotic voice says.

_~Thanks, Kelex, now, give my baby back, Lara.~_ Mother says still amused.

Father squeezes you once again, _~No, she is my baby too, and I want to hold her.~_

_~And you will, I just need to take off your shirt, so you can have skin to skin contact with her, and help her calm down, maybe even help her sleep.~_ Mother says with a hint of mirth in her voice.

_~Yay!~_ You hear rustling beside you as your mother also takes off what you are wearing.

Before you can protest the removal of your clothes; you are back in your father’s warm embrace.

She sits beside your mother waiting for Kori and aunt Astra, quietly humming a calming lullaby.

They silently make their way to where you are; each of them lightly stroking your head and back as they sit down on the couch.

Even the robotic voice is speaking in hushed tones, _~Is there anything else you need, Alura In-Ze?~_

_~Yes, please check, Kara, I’m pretty sure she is coming down with something.~_ Mother is also talking softly to it.

_~Of course,~_ After a couple of seconds, and what it seems like soft blue light passing above you and your father and a few dull noises, ~ _A light fever, pretty normal for an infant her age, do you want me to bring her medicine or do you prefer to continue the treatment you are doing?~_

_~That’s a relief.~_ You hear Kori say.

Father nods, _~No medicine, thanks Kelex, just keep monitoring her fever and let us know if her temperature goes any higher.~_

_~As you wish, Lara Lor-Van.~_ Kelex says in its robotic tone.

Father chuckles a bit, _~We have got to teach Kelex to stop calling us by our full names. It is so odd when it does that.~_

You hear hums of approval all around, and a few giggles, _~Not that I don’t enjoy family time, but some of us are actually busy planning what planet to visit next, training, and everything that involves my cadet group. A General must always be prepared.~_ Aunt Astra grumbles.

_~Yeah, I’m still tired from training Max, I really want to sleep. And a third rank cadet must always be prepared too for whatever her General has planned for her. No matter how cute her baby sister is.~_ Unlike aunt Astra, Kori sounds amused.

_~Well, about visiting other planets Lara got a message from Sage today.~_ Your mother supplies.

_~Really? That’s great. What did she say?~_ Aunt Astra asks you can practically feel the excitement in her question.

_~She made it safely to Earth, and now that everybody relevant is here, why don’t we watch it?~_ Father answers her equally excited.

_~Help me, love, please.~_ You feel father handing something to your mother, _~Thank you, sweets.~_

Mother scoffs, _~You’re welcome, love, and please don’t call me sweets or you will be sleeping in Kori’s room for a week.~_

_~What have I done to deserve this? I didn’t do anything.~_ Kori loudly exclaims.

Father is now patting your back, _~You see how rude your mother and sister are with me, baby? Would you take me into your room if your mother kicks me out of ours? Or maybe I can roomie with Astra.~_

Aunt Astra snorts, _~Not with me you’re not.~_

_~Ouch! Just like your sister, Astra, so mean to me. What about you, baby? Would you like to share your room with your dear old father?~_ Father asks meekly.

_~’eah~_ Your voice is muffled by father’s shoulder.

Father again starts rubbing circles on your back, _~Aw, thank you, baby. At least one of my so-called family loves me.~_

Her statements elate laughter from the people in the room, _~Whatever you say, Lar, now play that damn message or I’m going to make you describe it from beginning to end—~_

_~Oh no, whatever am I going to do with such cruel punishment? Woe is me. This is so unlike you, Astra, you really are growing soft in your old age.~_ Father says mockingly.

More laughter coming from your mother and sister as they are joined by your father who laughs the loudest.

You swear you can hear aunt Astra growling, _~I’m going to make you recount Sage’s message a thousand times while doing the same training your daughter does every single day.~_ Aunt Astra bluntly tells her.

Father loudly gulps, you swear you can hear her sputtering, _~I’ll be good. I promise.~_

And now aunt Astra, mother, and Kori are roaring with laughter.

That makes you fuss again, shifting in your father’s shoulder trying to drown out the loud noise.

_~All right, everyone, be quiet we are scaring my baby again, please play Sage’s message, Lara. I want to know about our friend and I want to learn about Earth too.~_ Mother flatly asks.

_~Yes, dear!~_ Father enthusiastically replies.

_~Greetings, my dearest family. I have made my way to planet Earth, and Lara it’s everything we have hoped for, their planet is astonishing, their oceans are abundant and their plant life is bountiful, its yellow sun gives us powers beyond our imagination, we are able to fly, shoot lasers out of our eyes, blow ice out of our breaths, we are resistant to any attack, their technology is primitive at best, but with the technology in our ships we can survive for whatever long we are going to stay here. The humans look very similar to us, so we will be able to blend in with the locals, they are strange...~_

“It’s time to wake up, baby.”

_~They tend to fight amongst each other_ for the littlest thing, but...~

“Come on, lazy bones, wake up, Mommy and Kori are bringing more food from Noonan’s!”

XxXxXx

“Hello, baby, did you have a nice nap?” Mama softly asks you.

Instead of answering her, you just cling tighter to her, and that is when you notice a few things: You are not sleeping on top of Kori anymore, Kori is nowhere in sight, Mama is home, and it looks like she took a shower meaning that she has been home for a while.

You rub circles on her back, burying your head on her shoulder, “I’m still dreaming—“ slightly moving your head to peek at her— “It’s not the first this happens to me today.”

“Oh, baby.” She says sadly, holding you closer to her. “Do you want me to call— Wait, what do you mean you are still dreaming? Kori didn’t mention any of this. Is that why you haven’t eaten anything yet? Aren’t you hungry, baby?”

You shake your head, but after a second you shrug your shoulders, you are kind of hungry, but if you are indeed dreaming, you can’t be hungry.

She walks to the couch with you now on her hip, she sits on it, settling you on her lap, facing her, _~Baby, I need you to listen and answer some questions for me, please?~_

You stare at her, nodding.

_~Use words, okay, baby? And please don’t hide.~_

_~Yes, mama.~_

_~Good, baby.~_

_~So, are you ready?~_

You nod again, but she raises her eyebrow. _~Words, baby, I need you to use words.~_

_~Yes, mama, I’m ready.~_ You answer her timidly.

_~Okay, where are you, baby?~_

It’s your turn to raise an eyebrow, _~Home?~_

She chuckles, _~Home where?~_

You stare at her perplexed, _~Home here.~_

_~Baby, I need you to concentrate, home where? Are we on Krypton or on Earth?~_

And it dawns on you, _~Home, here in National City, Earth.~_

She smiles, _~Good baby, do you remember what happened before you woke up?~_

_~We went to the museum with Miss Diana, I wanted to come home and Miss Diana didn’t want to, Kori tried to convince her to let us go home and still she was being mean, so she made me use my pout and it worked, according to Kori and Miss Diana I fell asleep the whole way here, but I wasn’t sleeping the whole way, I dreamed of Kori’s parents and General In-Ze, we were in Krypton; we were going to see the dragons, and then I woke up or at least that’s what I thought, and Miss Diana and I had a nice and unsettling talk, but then I woke again, this time when we were entering the building, and we met our neighbor and a Martian named J’onn, both of them felt familiar like I have met them before, and then Kori let me take another nap while she ate some disgusting salad, I was so sleepy that time too, and once again I was dreaming of Kori’s parents back on Krypton, and this there was a robot named Kelex I think I was sick or something because next thing I knew it was checking me for a fever, and then we all were listening to a message someone we knew sent from Earth.~_ You ramble to Mama.

Mama blinks, repeatedly, and she stares at you, trying to comprehend everything you just told her.

“Slow down, baby. You wanted to come home, Kori wanted to help you, but Miss Diana didn’t want to let you come home, you use your pout, and she relented?”

You pout, “She made me use it. It wasn’t my fault!”

Mama giggles, “The great Wonder Woman, yielding because a little girl pouts at her, maybe I should teach her a lesson or two on how not to give in to your pouts, baby.”

“No! You and Mummy cheat all the time, I need someone to give in to my pouts.”

Mama affectionately shakes her head, “Do you remember everything you dreamt about?

You nod.

“Regarding your Kryptonians parents and your aunt Astra?”

You nod again.

“Dragons, baby?! Did you really see real-life dragons?”

This time you shake your head, “I didn’t actually see the dragons, but we were going to see them. After that, I woke up or I thought I did, and Miss Diana wanted to call you or Mummy, she also offered to call Dr. Q, but I said “No” because that time it wasn’t like before I could actually remember everything, and I didn’t feel like I usually do after realizing that I’m not dreaming or that I’m not actually on Krypton, and she told me that maybe what I saw wasn’t exactly a dream, but a memory.”

Mama knowingly nods, “It certainly sounds like a fun memory, tell me about the Martian!? How did the martian look like? Was he green or white?”

You shake your head amused at her excitement, excitement brought by her scientific and curious mind, “I didn’t exactly see him,” Mama’s face falls a bit, “But his voice sounded so familiar, it was like I had met him before, but can’t remember from where. Ask Kori, she saw him, perhaps she can tell you all about him.”

Mama nods her head excitedly, “I will when she comes back.”

You look around searching for Kori, trying to concentrate to listen to her peaceful heartbeat, remembering the lead covered walls, you turn to Mama, Mama smiles, “Kori is with Mommy getting more food, baby.”

How is it that Mama always knows what you are thinking, and what you are going to ask, you may never know.

“Mommy is here too?” You can’t keep the surprise out of your voice.

“Yes, baby, it was weird really, her Captain kicked her out for the day, and I was also kicked out of the DEO at least for the rest of day.” Mama smile widens.

You feel your eyes welling up with tears, and Mama is quick to hold you to her chest, “What’s the matter, baby?”

You embrace her as hard as you can, but not hard enough to squeeze the air out of her lungs, “Mama, I’m really dreaming, aren’t I?”

Mama looks so lost, she tilts your head so now you are now directly looking into her warm brown eyes, “You are not dreaming, baby. This is real, I’m real, Mommy is real, Kori is real, and today we get to spend time as a family like it should be. You can feel me, baby, feel my heart, you can touch my face, see that I am real, and not a dream.”

Yes, you can feel her, you can sense her, you can smell her, you can hear her heart going strong, but you have felt all that before, everything about Mama, Mommy, and Kori felt real, and it hurt to find out that everything was all a dream.

Sighing you cling to her, “It has happened before I can feel Mommy and you, and Kori, I can smell you, I can hear your heartbeat, and in the end, everything is nothing but a dream.”

“Everything is going to be all right, baby. I got you—“ Mama holds you impossibly closer to her now, “—Do you want me to call Doctor Quinzel?”

You shake your head while staring at her, “No, this is a dream, granted a very vivid dream, but a dream, and since this is a dream there is something I need to do; something I have promised Miss Diana to do.”

Mama blinks repeatedly at you, you imagine she is trying to comprehend your strange behavior, “You are not dreaming, baby. This is real, you are real, I’m real, and when Mummy and Kori get here with delicious smelling food they are going to be real too.”

You chuckle, “No, I’m dreaming, but it’s okay, at least I can fulfill the promise I made.”

Mama raises an eyebrow for a while you could practically hear her brain debating with itself, until she sighs defeated, “All right, baby, how can I help you with your promise?”

You gulp, what if Mama is right and I’m not dreaming, what if all of this is real, what if your brain is trying to trick you again, once more you swallow the lump in your throat, and before your unexpected bravery slips away you ask, “Mama, do you have Kori’s cube?”

Abruptly, Mama’s eyes go wide, and your doubts redouble, “What do you want to do with it, baby? You are not going to destroy, are you?” Mama asks you with her voice slightly alarmed.

You breath out slowly, “It seems that it is pressing that we talk to them, that was the promise I made to Miss Diana, she said if they don’t apologize to you, and Mummy, and with Kori then I can turn off the hologram, and I can also turn it off if they say mean things to either of you.”

Mama again checks her phone, you have noticed how Mama has been texting constantly since she woke up, you guess she is texting with Mummy, and maybe with Doctor Q.

She looks up from her phone to you, she sighs heavily, “Are you completely sure, baby? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“No, but I might as well do it now rather than later.”

Mama’s eyes twinkle, “Very well, baby, let me get the cube, and you are right, we might as well do it now.” With that, she disappears to her room, or to Kori’s room.

And before you can even start to overthink your decision, Mama is standing right beside you with the cube in her hands.

She kneels her eyes looking directly at yours, “Baby, if we are going to do this, you will need to tell me the very moment you feel uncomfortable, you need to tell me or Mummy if you don’t want to talk to them anymore, could you promise me that, baby?”

You nod assuredly, “I promise, Mama.”

_~One more thing, baby—~_

You look at her expectantly, _~No hiding.~_ She tells you bluntly.

_~No hiding.~_ You promise to Mama and a little to yourself.

She nods back, and stands up, “Do you want to do it, or do you want me to do it?”

“Could you do it, Mama, please.” You try to use your less lethal pout.

Mama ruffles your hair, “There is no need to use the pout, baby, I offered, so, may I?”

You handled her your memory gem, and she looks at it, and then at the cube.

“What am I supposed to do now, baby? Should I just put the gem on it, or what?”

Now it’s your turn to glance at the gem and at the cube, “I think you have to put it in that tiny compartment, and that’s it, I think.”

Mama does as you told her, and nothing happens.

Well, that’s a disappointment.

Mama checks the cube and re-positions the gem again with the hopes of getting it to work, but it gathers the same results.

Nothing.

“Baby, what am I doing wrong?” Mama asks with a clear tone of dejection.

You shake your head, you don’t know what to do, Mama did everything you have seen Kori do with the cube and the memory gem.

Maybe it needs Kori.

Kori will know what to do, and maybe then you both can ask her to teach you how to activate it.

“Hey, baby, above the compartment there is a screen, do you think that maybe it needs a password of sorts?”

You shrug your shoulders, “I — I don’t know.”

Mama shows you the screen and out of curiosity you touch the screen and it lights up making you and Mama jump.

_~Hello, Sunny, hello, Alexandra Caroline Sawyer.~_

Suddenly, there they are, Kori’s parents, your parents are here with you.

The hologram is different this time, instead of being translucent images of your parents’ likeness they are almost realistic looking with only a faint blue light shining underneath them.

They also changed clothes, they are wearing suits instead of their usual long robes, their suits are grey with red, blue, and gold highlights the sigils of their families proudly shown on their chest.

Mama’s eyes are wide and puzzled.

You look back at your parents’ strange new hologram, _~Hello.~_ It’s all you can say in your own curiousness.

_~How?~_ Mama manages to choke out.

Father’s head tilt to her side, _~How what?~_

_~How is this hologram so different from last time? You almost seem real, your clothes are different, how is that even possible? Is the gem or the cube somehow updating themselves? And if they are, how are they doing it? Is it somehow connected to Kori or to Kara? Are you using the internet? Are you using some of your technology? Are you using other types of alien technology?~_ Mama rambles her questions out, it’s rare to hear Mama ramble like you do, but when she does it, it’s when science or alien technology is involved.

This time Mother’s image laughs, it’s a quiet laugh, but she is laughing, _~Are you a scientist, Alexandra Sawyer?~_

Mama nods enthusiastically, _~I am, and another thing, how do you know my name? The last time we saw you, you couldn’t even pronounce my name correctly now you are even calling me by my full name.~_

Mother is still chuckling at Mama’s eagerness to learn, and Father is smiling kindly at you, while surreptitiously looking around.

_~And will answer all your questions when Kortni and Margaret Danvers are here too.~_ Father says.

_~Margaret? How do you— scratch that, this is getting pretty weird, but they are buying food, but they will be here at any moment, while we wait could please at least answer one of my questions?~_ You know that Mama is trying hard not to babble on and on with the thousand questions you are sure she has.

She is right on one thing though, this dream is getting weirder by the minute.

You look around too, trying to strain your hearing to listen to Mummy and Kori when they come home, you can hear more than any human even when you are surrounded by this much lead, the lead damps your powers making things like listening to stuff outside your door or window a bit more difficult.

_~Sunny?~_ A voice calls you, making you look in front of you.

In front of you is Mother towering over you, Father is standing beside her, but unlike Mother, Father is looking at Mama she has a special twinkle in her eyes, and if you didn’t know any better it looks like she is itching to answer all of Mama’s questions and ask some questions of her own.

You try to hide behind Mama, but Mama doesn’t relent rather she pushes you forward, and now Mother is kneeling to face you, she is even taller than Mama and both Aunties.

_~No hiding, baby.~_

You swallow the lump in your throat.

_~Kara, are you afraid of us?~_ Mother asks in a soft sadden voice.

_~A little, but mostly I’m mad at you, ~_ You admit, _~I just don’t want you to hurt Kori or my Mummies again.~_

To your surprise, Mother giggles, the sadness that was creeping into her voice a few seconds ago it’s now gone.

You glance at Mama, and she is also staring at Mother like she suddenly grew another head.

Father is gawking at her, she also looks lost for words.

Mother puts tries to cover her laughter with her hand but is useless, she just can’t stop laughing, _~I’m sorry, you reminded me so much of Lara, with that cute little crinkle between your eyes, and your protectiveness, it was like looking at Lara when she was your age, baby. I’m sorry.~_

_~Hey, I was never that small, ~_ Father protests.

_~Yeah, you were, Lara, or don’t you remember how they used to call you in the Science Guild?~_ Mother teases.

Father harrumphs, _~They were jealous of my excellent fighting skills and intelligence, not my fault that all of us Van women were so skillful and smart.~_ Father glances at you, _~Well, still are.~_

Mama shakes her head in disbelieve at your birth parents strange interactions.

You really can’t blame her, they are acting strangely.

Even for a dream.

_~You see, Lara was the youngest of all our families and from our world to enter the Science Guild, of course, she was also the smallest—~_ Mother regards both of you.

_~I’m sorry for interrupting you, but as much I would like to hear the story, I would also want to know right now if you are going to hurt my sister or my Mummies again or not?~_

Your patience is wearing thin, this is confusing you, their behavior is not helping you at all with your inability to tell between reality and dreams.

All you can do is pray.

Pray.

Oh, Rao, you can only hope that this is all a dream.

~On the contrary, we were waiting for you or your sister to contact us again to apologize for our ghastly behavior, we had no ri—~

Your birth parents glance at some place behind you at the new voices joining you in the living room, Mama and you turn to look at Mummy getting in with bags of what looks like food and ice-cream, lots of ice-cream.

Kori is not in the living room yet, but you can faintly hear her calming heartbeat.

_~So, love, don’t get angry, but our menu chan—Oh?~_ Mummy stops in her tracks, eyes widening in surprise.

Mummy gaze goes from your parents to you, to Mama, and to you again, she looks worried, she then looks at Mama again asking her a question with her eyes.

Mama shrugs her shoulders, and it seems that her action was answer enough for Mummy only for her worry to worsen tenfold.

You turn again to look at your birth parents when you hear the muddle gentle sounds of Kori’s heart coming into the room.

_~Maggie?~_ Kori says.

You don’t want to turn to look at her, your eyes are trained on them, you want to see what are they going to say to your sister because at the slightest snide remark you are going to turn off the cube for a very long time.

Dream or not, you are going to protect your sister, and your Mummies, no matter the promise you made to Miss Diana.

_~Hello, Kortni, hello, Margaret Ellen Danvers.~_ Father is the one greeting them this time.

Kori’s startled voice breaks your heart, _~Father? Mother? What— How?~_

Maybe this wasn’t such a great after all, you don’t want your sister to turn into a zombie again.

Your hand hovers over the cube ready to snatch the gem out of it, you can’t let Kori suffer for your stupid decision to fulfill a promise you made in your dreams.

Maybe Mama is right, this is real, and if it is real, all the more reason why you should end this thing right now.

Just before you can take hold of your gem Mama holds your hand stopping you, with a gentle look in her eyes, she shakes her head, “No, baby, we have to do this, better now than later.”

She holds you now, “It will be okay, baby. Concentrate on my heart. I love you.” Mama kisses the top of your head and that relaxes you a little.

You look over Mama’s shoulder to see Mummy and Kori, Mummy is trying her best to comfort Kori, and Kori has attached herself to Mummy’s side, holding for dear life to Mummy’s shirt.

You want to say how sorry you are, but Mummy is looking at the hologram and Kori is looking at the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

_~We know that we aren’t the most welcome sight at the moment, but now that we are all here, we want to apologize for our appalling behavior the other day, we absolutely had no right criticize or say things without knowing what really happened.~_ Somehow Mother’s voice cracks, and you have to give it to them, this hologram looks, feels, and sounds almost real.

Again you peek over Mama’s shoulder, this time Mummy is frowning confused, and Kori staring at them you see that she is trying to say something, but failing.

She looks perplexed.

_~Are you apologizing to us?~_ Mummy asks with skepticism.

You start to feel your body trembling.

Mama then proceeds to pace around, never straying too far from the hologram, rocking you, humming softly, she cuddles you deeper into her chest helping you breathe a bit more easily.

_~Yes, we are. Would you prefer if we speak to you in your language,_ “English” _is it?~_ Father says with a certain amusement in her voice.

By the silence that falls in the room, you assume that everyone is so surprised by their suggestion that none of you dares to say a thing.

Last time, your parents called the English language an awful language.

You peek again, Kori is crying, but there is something unusual about her tears, they almost look happy. Almost.

There is still a sadness lingering in them.

Mummy is frowning, maybe remembering the incident in Midvale.

And Mama’s heart is beating really fast.

_~No, it’s okay, we can understand you perfectly, we just never thought you would ever apologize to us.~_ Mama says in a soft voice, you know she is trying not to frighten you by raising her voice.

_~Ah, yes, we Kryptonians are a proud race, and we were wrong, we had to apologize. Tiny star, would you please come forward—~_ Father’s voice is also gentle.

You hear shuffling to your right side, you look and Kori is by your right side, again looking at the floor.

You feel Mama nodding and suddenly you are in Mummy’s arms, you want to protest at swift change, but you know that Kori needs Mama, Kori needs your Mummies.

Thank Rao, Mummy’s cuddles are also good.

Unlike Mama her heartbeat is quiet.

And relaxing.

There is some shuffling again, you feel someone tugging at your clothes and to your surprise Mummy also walked forward together with Mama and Kori.

Kori is nervously tugging at your clothes, and you do your best to hold her hand reassuringly.

You see from the corner of your eye, how Mama and Mummy have their hands on Kori’s shoulders.

You are here with her, you are together as a family, no matter what you are here together.

_~Kortni, we know that nothing we can say can erase the vile things we told you, and we understand if you don’t want to forgive us right away, but after Kara explained how things happened, how you and Astra were trapped in the Phantom Zone for years—~_

Did I? When?

You feel Kori tugging at your clothes harder, and Mummy tightening her hold on you.

_~Kara did? When?~_ You hear Mama’s puzzled voice.

_~That’s not important right now, Sunny told us you finally made it to Earth after escaping the terrible Phantom Zone about two Earth years ago, Kal found you and he lied to you about your sister whereabouts and well-being, she told us how you did the best you could with what you had, how you still are trying to do your best, how you became her hero and how much she loves you, how well you are adapting to Earth, how you are living your life, how smart you are, how protective you are of her, and how protective you are of Alexandra and Margaret, she even told us how protective you are of Katherine Kane and Renee Montoya, of your love for Earth’s vegetation, and she is right, tiny star, you are doing great, and we are so proud of you, Kortni, so proud, we love you very much, Kortni, don’t ever forget that.~_ Mother’s powerful yet gentle voice says.

You hear that Kori is openly crying now, Mama is hugging her, and Mummy is hugging them both with her free arm.

You try to wiggle your way out of her arm so you too can join the hug, but Mummy’s pulls you closer to her.

You huff, but Mummy doesn’t yield.

They apologize to your sister, yes; they still haven’t apologized to your Mummies.

You hope they do.

_~Alexandra_ _Caroline_ _Sawyer_ , _Margaret Ellen Danvers—~_

You hear Mummy snort _, ~I think I liked it better when they called me “Mag-Gui.”~_

Mama chuckles quietly, _~You don’t say, I would rather they call me “Al-Ex” than my full name.~_

Mummy joins Mama in her laughter, and to your shock, you can hear Kori attempting to hide a giggle.

_~It was an honest mistake, we are still getting used to the names you use on planet Earth.~_ Father jokes indignantly.

You swear you can hear your Mummies trying to hold back a laugh.

_~Anyway, we would also like to apologize to you Maggie, and also to you Alex. Our behavior was reprehensible—~_ Father is the one apologizing this time.

You can feel Mummy tense up, you dare to glance up at Mama, and she looks like she wants to say something, both your Mummies are still gently hugging Kori, you still want to hug her too, but Mummy doesn’t let you get down to the floor and you are becoming increasingly sluggish.

_~—Like Kortni, you don’t have to forgive us right now, but know that we have acknowledged our shameful behavior, and we are sorry for it.~_ Father continues with her apology.

_~Please, let us finish, there aren’t enough words in our language or yours to express how thankful we are for loving our daughters, for taking care of them, for being there for them when we cannot. Nahkluv.~_

Kori is crying again, and you feel your Mummies hugging her, comforting her.

Again, you struggle against Mummy’s hold to get down to hug Kori, but Mummy again holds you closer to her.

_~Sunny?~_ You think that’s Mother calling you. _~Sunny, can we talk to you? Please?~_

You shake your head against Mummy’s shoulder.

_~Are you still scared of us?~_ Father asks you, sadness evident in her voice.

The tone of her voice stirs something inside your heart.

Fear, awareness.

All of a sudden, you don’t feel so sluggish anymore.

You shake your head again.

You are afraid, yes, but not afraid of them.

No, you are afraid that if you look at them you will confirm what you have been dreading for hours—

Afraid that Mama has been right all along, and that you are not dreaming.

Afraid of the reality.

Afraid that you did all this in real life.

Afraid that you force Kori and your Mummies to talk to Kori’s parents.

You don’t have the strength to talk anymore, not that you have been talking too much lately.

You just hold to your Mum.

You feel Mama’s hand on your back and Kori’s comforting presence beside you.

It is then when you start to cry.

“Everything will be fine, sunshine, don’t be afraid. I love you, sunshine, I love you.” Mummy tells you.

You continue to cry.

You feel Mummy starting to walk away from Mama and Kori.

You try to hold to Mama’s hand.

You try to hold Kori’s hand or shoulder.

“Relax, baby, Doctor Q is on her way and so is Auntie Kate, and Auntie Renee, Mummy is right is everything will be okay. I love you, too, baby.”

You try again to grasp Mama’s hand, but Mummy is now pacing around the living room humming a familiar song.

Mummy may not have the best singing voice, but her humming is calming your cries a little.

_~What’s going on? Is Kara okay?~_

You peek at your Mama and at Kori, they are still standing in front of the hologram of Kori’s parents.

You can’t understand the way Mama and Kori are looking at them.

“Kori?” You make grabby hands at her, hoping that she will come to you making Mama join her and finally joining Mummy and you where both of you are.

“Give a second, Sunny. I love you, Kara.”

_~Would someone please tell us what is going on with our daughter?~_

Kori looks back at you, she looks sad, _~I’m sorry, Father, Kara has been having problems with reality, sometimes is hard for her to tell between reality and dreams.~_

_~We humans call it “_ PTSD” _is a bit complicated to explain.~_

A silence falls in the room.

After what it seems like an eternity you hear Kori’s Father talk.

_~_ ”PTSD?” _Are there any other symptoms? Is she having other symptoms besides hallucinations?~_

_~Other symptoms?~_ This time is Mummy the one asking the question.

_~Yes, other symptoms like: weakness? Detachment from reality?~_

Another moment of silence before Mama answers.

_~Weakness? Detachment from reality?~_

_~Yes, has Kara been sleeping more than usual lately?~_

_~Yes.~_

_~Has Kara been detaching from reality like some days she seems like a regular kid, living a regular life, and then the detachment will come back full force?~_

_~Yes?~_

_~How about body temperature?~_

_~Kryptonians’ body temperature runs higher than a regular human. We can’t really tell if she ever had a fever or whatever equivalent you had on Krypton.~_

You hear Kori’s parents hum questioningly.

_~At some point, did it feel higher than normal?~_

_~Now that I think about it, yes, her temperature has been higher than normal.~_ Mama answers Kori’s Father question.

_~Though there are times where her temperature feels normal, well, normal for her.~_ Mummy complements Mama’s answer.

Mummy is not swaying you nor humming to you anymore.

She is standing a little apart from the hologram looking rather interested in whatever it is that Kori’s parents are trying to discover about you.

There is silence again.

And this silence feels weird.

Heavy.

You hear Kori gasp.

“What is it, Kori?” Mummy asks her.

Fear grips your heart.

Thank Rao Mummy is holding you.

_~If we were on Krypton, and after hearing about her symptoms you just described, I would say that my diagnosis is—_

_~Argo fever!~_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, apparently I don't know how to control myself and that is why this chapter is so long, sorry? I think? Sorta? From now on the chapters will be equally as long or maybe just a bit shorter and perhaps longer. Hope that's okay?
> 
> I want to make clear one thing, I will not erase Kara's autism. That will happen over my dead body, so rest assured that I will not do that.
> 
> Once I asked Char, what was that Kara saw when she had those episodes of not knowing the difference between dreams and reality, and she showed me what you read in this same chapter, we saw just glimpses of what the Little sweetness has to go through, and I wanted to differentiate between her episodes and her "dreams" poor little Kara doesn't even remember a bit of what she sees but perhaps it's for the best that she doesn't remember them.
> 
> Please don't hate Diana, she tricked little Kara, we all know that, but it was for a good reason, we are going to find out why she did it in the next chapter.
> 
> Also, Sam!!!!!!!!! I love her so much!!!!!! Sam!!!!!!!!!! *Insert heart eyes.* And I feel like a traitor for saying this but I'm starting to love AgentReign too. 
> 
> Also, Katie McGrath is such a sweetheart and I love her so much, just like I love Floriana, Odette, and Chyler. 
> 
> I'm aiming to update every week. Let's wait and see. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this chapter and my ramblings. 
> 
> I also like to point out that, I totally did not cry while watching Coco today or the first time I watched it, or the second time I watched, or the third time, I did not cry those times either. *Tries to wipe tears before anyone notices.*

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit us at @charis-chan and @reinakonanofate on tumblr and leave us some prompts!!!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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